


Can't Say No to the President

by xgalaxyjunx



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (at multiple points), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Cliche, Derogatory Language, Dom/sub Undertones, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Everyone ships them, How Do I Tag, Hyuck has a crush :'(, Hyuck needs love, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Sex, Jealousy, Kinda, Lee Donghyuck and Kim Doyoung are cousins, Lingerie, M/M, Mark Lee & Suh Youngho | Johnny Are Siblings, Mark Lee (NCT) is Bad at Feelings, Mark and Hyuck hate each other, Mark's a mean idiot but hyuck's a cute brat uwu, Mark's also cute hehe, Mark's oblivious, Mildly Dubious Consent, Name Calling, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, OCs - Freeform, Parties, Swearing, They're both kind of bad at feelings actually, Top Mark Lee (NCT), Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, at first, at some point, but not really, dammit mark lee give him love please, everyone's gay tbh, forgot to mention this but, hehehehehhehee ;), i hope you guys can see it till the end :), i'll let you guys decide whether this is slow burn or not :'), i'm trying :)), it's frustrating for me as well, it's meant to be cute... but it got sad, it's only mentioned but please look out for trigger warnings, kinda plot heavy as well, like mark's really mean... but hyuck's also kind of questionable at times, love triangle at some point, mark is really in denial, mark's kind of an asshole in this, notice how i didn't mention slow burn, ok i'll stop now, or is he...?, please read tags and warnings !, respective luren and nomin cameos, step siblings actually, that one fic where mark isn't a blushing cute dorky mess, the concept of possessive mark and protective mark can sometimes overlap :), the holy mix tbh, they're both really dumb, this entire fic is a massive emotional rollercoaster, to warn new readers - they're both kind of toxic in this, ugh too many tags sorrryyyy, very slight ones tho :), you'll probably end up disliking hyuck as well at some point, you'll really dislike mark in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 227,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26443186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xgalaxyjunx/pseuds/xgalaxyjunx
Summary: "no one respects you if you're weak.""if you show me your weaknesses, i'll respect you even more."Wherein Lee Donghyuck, student council vice president, never thought that he'd end up falling in love with someone who he considered his mortal enemy... but fate works out in funny ways.In other words, a markhyuck enemies with benefits!au set in college :)
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, other ships are minor - Relationship
Comments: 1262
Kudos: 1294





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!
> 
> This is my first fic here! I tried my best with this and I'm really sorry if there's grammatical mistakes.  
> I love markhyuck and I really wanted to write them as enemies with benefits! So here's my shot at this trope hehehe...
> 
> The chapters are mostly consistent in word length, but sometimes it wavers haha. The prologue is purposely long, it's just an introductory thing :)

Lee Donghyuck only had a few goals in mind when he enrolled as a first year into the prestigious Seoul International College. He's talented, determined, quick-witted and incredibly smart. He deserves to be at number one!

So why is Mark Lee getting in his way?!


	2. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the prologue chapter!! the chapters are going to be shorter than this hehehe~
> 
> sorry for grammatical errors

"Are you sure you're gonna be ok?" 

"Mom, for the tenth time, I'm going to be fine. Can you please stop overreacting and actually let me get out of the car?" Donghyuck sighed, giving his mother an unimpressed look.

"Listen, I can drive you to college every morning, why don't you just live at home?"

"The whole part of a college experience is that I get to stay in a dorm, mom. Plus, there's no way you're driving an hour long journey every morning to drop me to class and then pick me up." the young boy tried to reason, "We already discussed this and the school knows, there's no changing our minds now, ok?"

"How did you manage to convince me in the first place?" the older woman gave out a defeated sigh and Donghyuck just grinned victoriously.

"That's for me to know and you to never find out." he grinned, knowing he had a bunch of tricks to use on his mother whenever he wanted something.

"Ok, but we've got to set out some rules. Just because you're in college and you want to have all these 'college experiences', like you say, that doesn't mean you get to participate in all this partying and drinking and other stuff ok?"

"I get it, seriously. Can I please go now?" Donghyuck was practically pleading at this point, having been stuck in the car for almost two hours, thirty minutes of which he spent parked outside the entrance of his college, arguing with his mother.

"Try to focus on your work, Hyuckie, please? That means no boys, ok?" his mother frowned, voice laced in worry, "College is great and all and I'm sure you'll have a good time, but some things can happen and I just want you to be safe, ok sweetie?"

"I know, mom. I will, I promise." Donghyuck reassured with the most convincing smile he can put on. "But I can't promise on the no boys part."

"I'm serious, honey." his mother warned with a dangerous glint in her eyes, "Don't get distracted."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Donghyuck waved off, "Besides, I'll be too busy anyway." he got out of the car and headed for the car boot while his mother trailed after him to help.

"And make sure you ask Doyoung if you need anything, ok?"

"I won't need anything."

"But you might."

"I really won't." Donghyuck smiled as sweetly as he could, trying to persuade his mother to let him go. "Induction's gonna start soon and I need to check in to my dorm, I'll call you!"

"Ok, but make sure to call me every week, ok?" Donghyuck simply reached out and have his mother a quick hug, pulling back just as quick before she got emotional again.

"Be safe."

"I will."

"Be good."

Donghyuck laughed as he pulled his suitcase and shuffled the bag on his back, tossing his mother a knowing grin and his most angelic smile.

"I _always_ am!"

"Name?" the grey-haired pinned into a bun woman stared him down judgingly and Donghyuck could already tell she didn't like him very much.

"Lee Donghyuck." he offers her a smile, trying to make it seem as genuine as possible.

He watches as the old lady who looked as if she had been rotting in that office for the past few decades. She pulls out a few leaflets and a key with a small keychain of the school's emblem on and hands it over to him.

"Room 66." she announces before pointing in the general direction of where the dorm block was.

Donghyuck inwardly smiled at the small coincidence in his hand, 'my birthday!' he thought to himself excitedly before bowing shortly to the woman and heading towards the dormitory buildings. Luckily, the dorms were situated so close to the college that they might as well have been connected; one of the many reasons why Donghyuck wanted to go here in the first place - less travelling.

He followed the directions, only having to go up three floors until he reached the door to his dorm. Without a moments hesitation, he shoved the key in, rattled it around and pushed the door open.

"Wait, wait! I'm naked!" a seemingly high-pitched voice screamed at him and Donghyuck instinctively covered his eyes after catching a glimpse of (a little too much) pale skin, before tripping over a box and stumbling slightly. He waited a few moments until the voice spoke again, "Ok, sorry... you can look now."

"I don't think I want to." Donghyuck shuddered and forced himself to uncover his eyes, only to met with a slightly shorter boy who was beaming at him and, thankfully, wearing clothes.

"Hi, I'm Huang Renjun and I'm really sorry you had to witness that. I had a long ass journey here and it's so fucking hot, I couldn't stand being all sweaty and stuff, so I just changed my clothes without thinking... sorry." the boy introduced himself.

"It's fine. I'm mentally scarred for life... but it's fine." Donghyuck forced a smile and the dark haired boy in front of him, Renjun, must've recognised his expression since he laughed heartfully and muttered another apology. 

"Here, let me help you with your bags."

Donghyuck was about to protest, but Renjun had already started wheeling in his suitcase and setting it beside what the tanned boy assumed was his stuff.

"We got here around the same time and since we kinda... got off to a bad start, you can pick your room first." Renjun insisted and Donghyuck instantly calmed down, grateful that his new roommate was nice.

"Thanks." he smiled and recognised how Renjun's shoulders loosened in relief, also probably having the initial intention of wanting to be close to his roommate.

Donghyuck didn't care too much about the rooms, they both looked the same to him, but he chose the one on the right since the window was bigger. Renjun agreed instantly and started moving his stuff to the other room.

The dorm was surprisingly spacious in a way. Besides the two doors that lead to their individual bedrooms, there was a small kitchen and a roomy living room which was only separated by a an open separation that let you to look inside the kitchen from the living space where a long three-seater couch, coffee table and tv were furnished.

He set as much stuff into his room as possible, but when he hung the small, black chalkboard up on the wall, he couldn't help but smile to himself. There was a lot of things he wanted and needed to do while he was in college and he was going to make sure they all happened.

Overall, Donghyuck loved his dorm and, despite having an unusual first encounter, Renjun wasn't too bad either. They got to know each other quickly as they helped each other unpack and make their dorm room feel more homey and comfortable. 

They both shared a similar passion for plants since before they knew it, almost every corner of their dorm room was decorated with plant pots of different sizes.

"We should probably go now, the welcome induction's gonna start soon." Renjun looked at his phone, noticing that they spent a lot of time preparing their dorm room, at least now he had a new contact saved in it.

"Yeah, you're right." Donghyuck glanced around the room once more with a satisfied nod before turning back to Renjun, "Lets go."

"LEE DONGHYUCK!" 

Donghyuck jumped at the shrill of his name and turned around, flushing at the attention he was getting from the other students present in the hallways.

Right before him was a wild Lee Jeno, the only person Donghyuck actually knew. He and Jeno went to middle school together and had easily become close, even closer when they found out they both got accepted into Seoul International; probably the best college in the entire state.

"Hey, Jeno!" Donghyuck beamed at his friend before running up to him and tackling him in a hug. 

"That's so unfair, you already know someone from here..." Donghyuck didn't even notice there was someone behind his childhood friend until he stepped back and tilted his head slightly.

"Ah, Hyuckie, this is Jaemin, my roommate." Jeno introduced with a bashful smile before turning back to look at Jaemin with, what Donghyuck thought to be, 'heart eyes'.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Donghyuck." the tanned boy grinned before pulling the chinese boy behind him so they could all engage, "This is Renjun, my roommate."

"Hey." Renjun waved a hand at the two.

"Great, now that we've all met and we're best buddies... we should probably get going now... I think everyone's already there." Jeno proceeded to drag everyone off and, for some reason, Donghyuck thinks he's already found a pretty good group to spend his college years with.

The main hall was filled to the brim with students. All the years sat separately in their allocated seats and Donghyuck couldn't help but look around to run his eyes over the mass of new faces.

He'd always been a sociable person, not caring about age or nationality; he never saw those as barriers when it came to getting to know people. Despite being outgoing and inclusive to everyone, he didn't exactly know how to respond to the curious and smirking looks he was getting from some other students.

"There's no way I'm sitting through an hour of this." Jaemin groaned beside him, "Wake me up when it's finished, ok?"

"I got you, don't worry." Donghyuck laughed as he watched the candy floss pink haired boy shut his eyes, leaning against Jeno slightly, who only ended up laughing as well before trying to shrug him awake.

Their principal, Principal Choi, made this really long and boring speech on how good the college was before proceeding to highlight the many, many achievements as well as their spotless record of having the title of 'best college in the city' for five years in a row. 

Donghyuck didn't really understand why he was trying to sell the school out to the people who were already attending it, but he couldn't really question it either. It was a prestigious school full of some really proud people.

"As you know, there are many opportunities here at Seoul International and we want to make sure we provide for everyone. Therefore, I would like to invite the school's representative up here to talk to you about the variety of facilities and extra curricular we provide here." the principal explained before gesturing an arm to the front of the stage. Everyone watched as one particular boy stood up and swiftly made his way over onto the stage as if he had done it so many times before. He probably had, "Your representative, Mark Lee."

The hall burst into a round of applause, confused and slow claps from the first years and more enthusiastic claps from the older years.

Donghyuck watched intently when the representative, Mark Lee, came up to the podium and stood in front of the mic. At that moment, Donghyuck couldn't feel his own heart beating. It was as if time stilled like in one of those cliché romance movies when everything goes in slow-mo. 

Even at first glance from where he was sitting at the far back of the hall on the tiered seating, Donghyuck thought Mark was terribly good looking. He ended up raising himself from his seat, just so he could get a better look at the stage that seemed like it was miles away from him.

"Firstly, I would like to personally welcome our new first years, I hope you enjoy it here." Mark started, sparing a glance towards the section of seats where the first years were sitting and already, Donghyuck could hear a rupture of giggles from some of the girls, "As Principal Choi said, Seoul International has a wide range of extra curricular which all of you can choose from and partake in. The school firmly believes that everyone should be able to access clubs and activities of all sorts and become prominent members if they see fit. Not only will it look good on university applications as well as resumes and interviews you might have in the future, it will also help lead a good and active college life. Everyone has a pamphlet highlighting the variety of clubs and teams people can be a part of and it is highly recommended that everyone looks into participating in at least one whilst balancing their academics as well. The school is greatly known for graduating students that have excelled in all aspects the school provides, so it is encouraged that everyone tries to do the same. As always, student council elections will be held this year as well and we're looking forward to the new students participating."

Mark drones on about other things related to sports clubs and music clubs, but Donghyuck can hardly even keep up because Mark's voice is just so fucking hot... definitely foreign. He can't even fight back the blush that forms on his cheeks, instantly attracted just by the way Mark talks. He knows he could listen to Mark talk all day long.

Something does, however, pique his interest.

_Student council elections._

Donghyuck has wanted nothing more than to take up the role of student council president. It had been a personal goal of his ever since he decided he wanted to go to Seoul International for college. Becoming president would look incredibly impressive on his forms and reports, and big universities will be signing him up for enrolment all around! He was going to get that position no matter what.

He continued to ignore everything said when the principal returned to the podium and, instead, proceeded to crane his neck awkwardly to catch a mere glimpse of Mark who was now sitting on the front row at the very end seat.

A small pout formed on his lips when he couldn't see the boy clearly, but he instantly snapped his attention back when Jaemin elbowed him lightly, showing that he decided not to sleep during the induction after all.

"The teachers are looking, pay attention." Jaemin warned him, "I can't believe you're already losing focus on the first day."

"I am _not_!" Donghyuck seethed in return, apparently a little too loudly since soon, a tall, skinny woman was now leaning over him, sending him a deathly glare.  
"Is there a problem?" she asked, clearly sarcastic and menacing.

Donghyuck opted on shaking his head in denial and offering a polite smile instead, not wanting to get on her bad side.

Jaemin smirked beside him and Donghyuck only rolled his eyes before referring his attention back to the front of the hall, deciding to pay as much attention as he could on the principal's speech. 

Well, tried to at least.

"That was the most boring speech I have ever heard in my life." Donghyuck groaned once they finally escaped the hall and lingered in the corridors.

"I'm sorry I couldn't entertain you then." a voice interrupted him and Donghyuck felt his entire body freeze in place, not even recognising the wide-eyed looks Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin were sending him.

Slowly, he turned around and right in front of him, as if it was a sign sent from the devil himself, was the principal, who stood up straight, wearing a questionable look on his face. And, to add to the misery of his situation, right behind the principal stood Mark Lee, who easily looked even more glorious up close rather than on the stage in the hall which Donghyuck only had the privilege of seeing right from the very top of the tiered seating.

"Principal Choi! What an honour to meet you, I promise to do my very best." Donghyuck gave a crooked smile, his left eye twitching slightly at his unfortunate circumstance.

"You want to do your very best... despite having to sit through my boring speech?" the principal raised a brow, recalling the tanned boy's previous words, "I'm truly impressed."

"Boring? Did I say boring?! What?! I- I meant... _snoring_! Yeah... I swear I heard someone snoring behind me. I mean... how dare they! Sleeping through that incredibly insightful and inspirational speech of yours? Disgraceful." Donghyuck rambled, brewing up a shit excuse on the spot as if it was the best he could come up with. (It was).

He wanted to slap a hand on his face because the principal, as well as Mark, didn't buy it for a second. But, luckily, his principal, despite his short nature and round figure, stayed true to his professional character and seemed to have dismissed the conversation entirely.

"Don't stall around in the hallways. Get to class." he instructed, before heading off.

"Yes sir!" Donghyuck comedically saluted earning laughs from Jeno and Jaemin and an unimpressed eyeroll from Renjun, who had all witnessed everything play out.

"Nice save." Mark smirked as he walked boy, looking Donghyuck up and down once before following after the principal and heading through his office doors.

Donghyuck could feel his cheeks heat up and his palms grew clammy as he rather dumbly dropped his hand which was still up in an even more dumb salute. Not exactly the best first impression...

"Come on, we should head to class before the principal finds out who was snoring the entire time." Renjun shook his head with a chuckle, not even believing himself that Donghyuck managed to get away with such a thing.

"I can't believe I just said that." Donghyuck buried his face in his hands, momentarily drowning in embarrassment.

"You'll get over it." Jeno patted his shoulder sympathetically, already being used to Donghyuck's straight forward and comedic personality from the past years of knowing him.

"Let's see your timetable, what classes do we have together?"

At that, the four boys pulled out their schedules and compared classes, finding that there were, luckily, a few they had in common.

His first class was biology, which he thankfully shared with Jaemin, so the two headed off first and followed the minimal directions that led to the science department.

"Who was that guy behind the principal? He's hot." Jaemin started the conversation as they walked amongst other students who were rushing to their lessons.

"Wow, you really weren't paying attention during the induction, were you?" Donghyuck chuckled.

"Hey! Neither were you." Jaemin reminded.

"Only during every other but... _his_." Donghyuck stated, referring to the boy Jaemin was also talking about, "Mark Lee. I'm pretty sure that's his name."

"Ooh~ someone's got a crush~~" Jaemin wiggled his eyebrows and Donghyuck shoved him playfully.

"He's said a total of two words to me and I don't even know a single thing about him." Donghyuck brushed off the accusation, "Besides, I've got no time for that. I'm going to be too busy running for student council president!"

"President? You know what... I can totally see that happening." Jaemin placed a finger on his lip as if he was actually in deep thought, "Well, you've got my vote, that's for sure."

"Thanks Jaemin." Donghyuck smiled at him gratefully. He still wanted to give a good presentation and earn the votes. He had plenty of experience doing similar things as participating in school elections and running as a candidate, some he even won. So, nothing would be more rewarding than accomplishing his goal by pure hard work and dedication.

"Nana." Jaemin said once, earning a confused look from the tanned boy, "You can call me Nana, I prefer it for friends."

Donghyuck took a few seconds to comprehend the words before smiling brightly and linking his arm with Jaemin's, nodding at the proposal.

"Then, since we're friends..." he started, already knowing that Jaemin was going to be an important person in the next for years of college, "you can call me Hyuck."

Jaemin also seemed happy with the response and nodded as they headed towards their class; both satisfied with their new friendship.

"Woah... you're really serious about this." Renjun comments when he leaves the kitchen and sits down at the small, round table in the open living room space of their dorm. He picks up one of the discarded flashcards from the table and scans his eyes over it before looking at the other multi-coloured cards that Donghyuck had invested his entire week in perfecting.

"Of course I am! I _need_ to become student council president!" Donghyuck persists, flicking through flashcards that detailed his personal achievements and why he thinks he would be a suitable student council representative.

"Why, may I ask?" Renjun questioned, deciding to push his few assignments off for the weekend after their first official week of college had finished.

"I guess I've wanted to be one for a while." Donghyuck shrugged his shoulders, his face blanking a little, "My dad was one when he was in college and he always told be that power doesn't come with age and that being someone as fundamental as a student council president, is equivalent to any other leadership role in the world of work."

"Woah, that makes sense." Renjun nodded in agreement to the words, "Your dad will be really proud then if you get the spot."

"Yeah, I hope so." there was a tinge of sadness in the tanned boy's tone and Renjun, being the good friend that he was, offered help according to his assumptions.

"You should call him. We've been pretty busy with work and settling in, so I doubt you had much chance." he suggested, "Give him a call and tell him that you're running for student council president. I bet he'll be super excited!"

"I really want to, Junnie, trust me." Donghyuck offered a smile that didn't reach even half way up his cheeks and Renjun couldn't help but feel like the sun went down, even though if he looked out the window, he could easily confirm that the sun was still very much up in the sky.

"Why not?" the chinese boy enquired, not picking up on the implication of the younger's words.

"He's... uhh... he died." Donghyuck muttered, words muffled in his arms as he rested his head against the table, discarding the flashcards in his hands, "In a car accident when I was eleven."

"Oh..." Renjun's voice was mallow and quiet and Donghyuck couldn't help but jolt a little when he felt a hand on his head, patting his hair soothingly. "I'm sorry, I didn't know." The gesture was surprisingly relaxing and Donghyuck felt himself fall limp at the touch, wondering what magic Renjun possessed in his hands to make him feel like that.  
"It's ok, you're my roommate, you were bound to find out one day or another." Donghyuck shrugged, "Besides, it was a long time ago. My mom's got a new boyfriend, she's moved on so... I should too."

"Ooh? How is he? Your mom's boyfriend?" 

"He's alright." _He's the worst._ "But, to be honest, my mom could do better."

Renjun laughs at that and Donghyuck finds himself feeling relieved that the tension was easing. He didn't want to be pitied nor be sympathised. He was perfectly fine and happy and determined to do well so he could make his parents proud.

"My grandmother always tells me that people you really cherish are always watching you, even though they can't be by your side." Renjun explained and Donghyuck totally sees it. Renjun is such a grandma's boy.

"Did you grandmother really say that or did you just get it from the Lion King?" he teases, causing the chinese boy to laugh even more.

"I really, really wish it was from the Lion King." Renjun giggled, "But my grandma's pretty serious about this stuff. She used to insist on taking me to a temple every week so we could have conversations with our ancestors."

"And what do your ancestors say?"

"Just the usual." Renjun shrugged, "Be good, take care of your family and friends, work hard and, my personal favourite... don't do weed."

Donghyuck almost falls off his chair from laughing too hard, clutching his stomach as he tears up slightly. Renjun mentally pats himself for being able to elicit such a reaction.

"I'm sorry, Junnie... but I'm not going to let you fulfil the last one." Donghyuck assured once he calmed down.

"I'm eternally grateful for that." Renjun chuckled before shifting the topic slightly, "Anyway, becoming student council president is on the top of your priority list-" Donghyuck nods surely at that, "-what else do you want to accomplish?"

"That!" Donghyuck snapped his fingers as if whatever Renjun said just triggered something in his head. Without saying another word, he runs into his room and grabs the small chalkboard he decorated prior to coming here. He brings it out and shows it to Renjun, who instantly takes it and starts reading the decorative letters in great interest.

"Ok, one: become student council president..." he reads out and Donghyuck just nods along, "two: get a boyfriend..."

"That's a good one." Donghyuck interrupts, trying to add a little jokey lilt to his tone in worry of Renjun being uncomfortable with his sexuality. But when Renjun laughs, not in the mocking sort of way, but in the 'I understand, and I accept you' and maybe also in the 'I feel the same' sort of way, Donghyuck knew he had nothing to worry about.

Renjun simply rolls his eyes, but almost chokes on his laughter when he reads the next bullet point.

"Three: lose virginity." he smirked, "That's a specific one."

"You can't blame me." Donghyuck simply shrugged, not embarrassed in the slightest, "I need to get laid as soon as possible. My mom said no boys... but she's not here right now and what she can't see... she doesn't know."

"Well, I'm sure we can make these happen." Renjun laughed, eyes skimming over the rest of the list of (questionable) goals.

"I have plenty of years of college ahead of me... it won't be too hard."

Donghyuck's hands shake a little as he grips the piece of paper tightly. Currently, he's waiting outside the principal's office for his scheduled interview. All candidates who want to be in the student council committee, must present a short speech to the principal, highlighting their leadership qualities and creative minds. Then, the principal will decide who wants on the committee.

When he found out the principal, as well as last year's student council committee, would decide who would participate in this year's committee, he couldn't help but frown. He thought a proper election would be held where other students could place their votes. Donghyuck was more of a people person, _not_ a principal person.

Donghyuck's anxiety only heightened when he sees fellow students come out through the office door on the literal verge of tears, showing that they clearly didn't do well with their presentation to impress the principal. He gulped down his worries and fears and straightened himself up, he wasn't weak and he wouldn't go down without a fight. He knew he was the perfect person for the role and he was going to show the principal exactly that.

Suddenly, the door swung open once more and Donghyuck automatically looked up, noticing that he was the only one left in waiting to give his pitch. What he didn't expect, however, was for a familiar black-haired boy to walk out. 

Donghyuck felt his knees wobble slightly as he clutches his paper even tighter, close to it completely tearing up under the force of his grip.

"Oh, hey..." Mark greeted him in a monotonous voice. He didn't smile, but Donghyuck felt butterflies erupt in his stomach nonetheless, "You here for the interview?"

"Y-yeah." Donghyuck cursed himself for stuttering. The other boy didn't even know his name and he was already embarrassing himself.

"You must be the last one, you can go in now." Mark hummed, gesturing over to the office door.

Donghyuck pursed his lips slightly in thought, wondering if Mark's voice was always devoid of emotions whenever he talked off stage. Because, Donghyuck was certain that Mark's voice was easily the sexiest thing in the world- something he concluded on his very first day during the induction.

'Maybe he's also participating in the election... from the looks of it, he probably didn't do well.' Donghyuck thought, but he couldn't ponder on his assumptions any longer when he was called into the office.

Detaching any other thoughts apart from the ones relating to the interview he was about to do, Donghyuck headed inside with his head held high.

"Ah, Lee Donghyuck." the principal greeted, gesturing over to a chair in front of the large, mahogany chair that had a simple, black, triangular prism with the words 'Principal L. Choi' in blocked, silver letters. " Your quite the talk amongst the teachers. I frequently hear about your... _enthusiasm_ when it comes to class participation." he offers a challenging smile, almost as if he expects something more from the tanned boy compared to the other interviewees, "I'm looking forward to your presentation."

Donghyuck lets out a slightly uncomfortable laugh, but he was grateful for the extra credit and recognition either way. He wanted to create a reputation amongst everyone; students and teachers included.

He took a deep breath and started his pitch, not getting thrown off by the expectant look in the principal's eyes even slightly. He was prepared to impress and he knew that if anyone deserved the role of student council president, it was him. He would not stand anyone else getting the role, especially not when his presentation was going so well.

He explained all his reasons as to why he wanted to become president of the student council committee. He then proceeded to detail his interests and unique qualities, showing off his many achievements when it came to the performing arts in particular.

His life practically revolved around performing arts and music. Theatre was life and all his passions came from performing on stage and pleasing the audience. It was an ambition he shared with his father, the man who taught him all about performing and fuelled his love for music and drama in the first place. He remembered the times when his father would take him to the theatre to watch all sorts of performances when he was younger, intently listening as his father critiqued and praised every performance without fail, giving the most detailed and in-depth analysis of whatever production they saw.

If he became president, he wanted to encourage more people to try out the performing arts. It wasn't a main priority since he already knew how much the school took great pride in their performing arts and sports programmes, differentiating themselves from other colleges. It was one of the reasons why Donghyuck chose to come here in the first place.

He answered every question fired at him, even the ones he knew would throw him off guard. It was, admittedly, tricky. He didn't expect such questions, to the point where even the principal seemed surprised by the answers he was giving. Donghyuck wondered if he added a little bit of impromptu here and there - probably to spite him for saying his induction speech was "boring" last week.

"Ok, I must say, Donghyuck, I'm impressed." the principal breathed out a laugh, almost in disbelief of his own words. Donghyuck would take offense to that, but he decided not to. It wasn't the first time he had shocked people older than him with his persuasive ways of speech. "I look forward to hearing more of you in the future. Good luck with your candidacy."

Donghyuck assumed he had reached the end of the interview now. A subtle frown formed on his lips as he got up and bowed before heading for the door leading out of the principal's office.

Did his speech not impress the principal to the point where all other candidates were completely disregarded and the role was instantly given to him? Was it that _basic_? Was he just like everyone else?

He had been too consumed in his thoughts that he almost didn't see the person in front of him. Just before any contact could be made, Donghyuck teared his eyes away from the floor and looked ahead of him at the person he almost bumped into.

"You finished?" Mark asked, his body moving towards the office door. 

He's probably got another interview with the principal. Donghyuck already established that Mark must be someone quite popular in school. Not only was he the representative who spoke at the induction, but his name fell off everyone's tongue and people talked highly of him quite frequently.

To say that Donghyuck was slightly envious of him, would be an understatement.

"Yeah, I think it went well." Donghyuck shrugged, unable to think of a shorter, more concise response.

"Hm... well, good luck then." Mark barely meets his eyes as he mutters the words before heading straight into the principal's office without even knocking.

Donghyuck just about caught the sound of the principal saying "Mark-ah!" in a gleeful voice before the closing of the doors cuts off their conversation.

Donghyuck only lets out another huff, wishing Mark would take _any_ sort of interest in him and talk a little more.

Deciding that unattainable boys wasn't going to be a set back for him, Donghyuck dragged himself back to class and prayed the results to confirm the student council committee candidates wouldn't take too long to come.

"I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS." Donghyuck's scream echoed through the dorm room (and probably the entire building).

"What?! What is it?! What did you set on fire this time?!" Renjun takes a record-breaking three seconds to burst through his roommate's door, fire extinguisher fully equipped. He was about to let it rip, but the evident lack of flames and burning books on sight prevented him from taking such actions.

"No! Something worse that a fire!" Donghyuck cried out dramatically, collapsing on the bed before sitting back up just as fast, "Also, I set the microwave on fire ONE TIME. I paid for it and everything!"

"I'll never let you live that down, honestly." Renjun sighed, relieved that there wasn't any visible danger. He plopped himself down on the bed next to Donghyuck, "You're a great cook... I don't know how you could set a fucking microwave on fire from making instant noodles."

"Please let that go for one goddamn minute, Huang Renjun, and call the others.. it's an emergency." Donghyuck buried his face in his pillow, ears reddening in frustration.

"Is that really necessary-"  
"NOW!"

"OK! OK!" Renjun shot up off the bed and grabbed his phone before spamming the group chat, fearing for his life, "Fucking hell... who disturbed your beauty sleep this morning?"  
Donghyuck didn't bother to answer. He didn't even say anything when Jeno and Jaemin kicked open the door, pushed past Renjun and clambered into his room with snacks and plushie toys in hand.

"The amount of respect I get..." Renjun mumbled under his breath, snatching a bag of crisps from Jaemin's hand and munching on it with an annoyed expression.

"What happened, Hyuckie? Is everything all right?" Jaemin started.

"Yeah... we got Renjun's imminent distress call." Jeno lifted up his phone to show the masses of texts Renjun had sent to their group chat.

"Only the worst thing ever just happened to me!" Donghyuck wept and suddenly, everyone, even Renjun, piled on top of him to give him a hug, worried when they saw the tanned boy start to cry.

Jeno pulled away first, not being one for physical affection. 

"What is it?" he asked, trying to get some clarification.

Donghyuck simply reached out for his phone, despite the difficulty of loosening Jaemin's tight grip on his waist. He tossed his phone over to Jeno after unlocking it, showing the said boy the reason of his trauma on the last page he had opened - his emails.

"Dear Lee Donghyuck, I was very impressed with your presentation and your pitch for membership on the student council committee-" Jeno read out.

"Oh my god! The results are out!" Jaemin gasped, finally understanding what had the tanned boy so on edge. "Keep reading, Jen!"

Jeno complied easily and read over the text until he reached the part all of them knew was the cause of Donghyuck's sadness.

"... after much consideration and discussion amongst our previous committee members, it would be an honour to have you as vice president of our student council committee. We hope you continue to impress us with your enthusiasm and creative ideas to improve the lifestyle of all students at Seoul International. Congratulations and good luck!"

Donghyuck groaned loudly when Jeno finished reading the email, just re-hearing the words again made him sick. He couldn't understand. His pitch was flawless, Principal Choi looked evidently impressed and mildly shocked at his skill - so who could've possibly done better than him to have deserved the position he was so desperately after?

"That's great, Hyuck! Congrats." Renjun tried to cheer him up, "Vice president sounds pretty sexy as well."

"But not as sexy as president!" Donghyuck whined, crying even more, leaning into the way Jaemin patted his head comfortingly, "It's... It's SECOND BEST! I am second to NO ONE!"

"There, there..." Jaemin sighed, detangling the knots in Donghyuck's hair from the latter's previous excessive hair yanking when he first read through the email.

"You can always run for president next year?" Jeno suggests, in attempts to lift his mood.

"That is if I can even make it through _this_ year!" Donghyuck protests before shooting up and moving to grab his phone and bag. "Ugh! I just want to know who's the lucky asshole who managed to swipe president position off me. I need to know who I'm up against."

"Wanna grab lunch? The cafeteria's full... I'm sure word would've gotten round by now." Renjun points out.

"Yeah..." Donghyuck nods, pressing his lips in a fine line, eyes gleaming in envy and dissatisfaction. Just by the way he look, the three other boys could tell that whoever got the role of president, they would surely receive hell from Donghyuck. "Let's do just that."

Donghyuck _hates_ pasta. He despises it with every fibre of his body. So when the lady behind the counter drops a plate of sloppy tomato pasta on his tray, he grimaces and holds himself back from scowling at the lady before taking his tray, swiping his card and reluctantly leaving.  
He was already in a bad enough mood and the school cafeteria just had to give his depressed ass fucking pasta which he, quite simply, wanted to fling against the wall.

He surveyed his eyes around the mess of college students scattered around the large vicinity, rolling his eyes whenever a few caught him staring and winked at him in blatant interest.

He was very much _not_ interested.

Not when he had to catch the very person who was currently putting him through hell.

"Have you found out who it is yet?" he asked once he reached the table where his three other friends were waiting.

"Bold if you to assume my social anxiety will let me talk to anyone first." Renjun shrugged, flicking through a psych textbook like it was a normal thing to do.

"Honestly, it's a big deal you got on the committee anyway, we should celebrate!" Jaemin encouraged, looking way too hyper for it _not_ to be his coffee dosages.

"Yeah... I'd rather not." Donghyuck frowned, slushing his pasta around his plate with a fork, lips twitching in disgust, "How the fuck do people eat this shit?"

"They don't." Jeno stated, causing Donghyuck to glance around the cafeteria one more time, only to realise that practically everyone's plates remained as untouched as his own, piles of orange-y pasta sitting messily before being thrown away with little care.

Donghyuck frowned at the sight and gets up, picking his tray with one hand, fully intended to go back over to the lunch stalls and find a food waste bin instead of dumping his food in the normal bins.

'Where are you president?' he seethes to himself, wanting nothing more than to meet the person who unknowingly but very effectively _ruined his life_. 'I've failed you, dad. I can't even become the president of a student council committee...'

The universe, however, decided that it was not done with Donghyuck just yet, suddenly declaring that the ambitious young boy who attracted attention from all around... needed to suffer a little more.

The next thing he knew, Donghyuck was way too busy in his own thoughts to notice that he had crashed right into someone, spilling his plate of sloppy pasta all over the person in front of him. Donghyuck's eyes widened and the entire cafeteria fell into a deadly silence. 

He trailed his eyes upwards slowly, recovering himself from his own fall as he steading himself on his knees. The other's navy blue jeans were now stained with orange pasta and gritty tomato pieces. Their white, Levi's t-shirt didn't look any better and if Donghyuck wasn't currently fearing for his life, he would've complimented how effortless the other's fashion style was.

It didn't stop there because, when Donghyuck's eyes finally grasped onto the pale expanse of the other's neck which now had splatters of orange, he jerked his head up completely, eyes widening at the boy in front of him.

'Oh, it's Mark Lee...' he thought to himself, 'OH SHIT IT'S MARK LEE-'

"Holy fuck I am so sorry!" Donghyuck scrambled through his jean pockets and pulled out a small (and rather pathetic) packet of tissues. He hastily pulled a few out and wiped the pasta pieces off Mark's face, only for his hand to be caught mid action and, for some reason, Donghyuck got the feeling that he wouldn't be getting out of this alive.  
People started muttering loudly and Donghyuck's head was a mess with all the things he could hear.

"Oh shit... the new kid's really done it now."

"Poor boy... barely survived two weeks."

"Too bad, he was really cute."

"I can't believe he did that to Mark Lee."

"I know right? Mark freaking Lee!"

"He won't be able to escape his wrath. No one gets by the pres-"

Donghyuck didn't hear anymore when he felt his hand being tugged, forcing his body to follow after Mark. He could only pray for his existence when everyone sent him wary and apologetic looks, sympathising with him to no end.

That did _not_ help at all.

He sent Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin one last look, wishing his three new friends the best of luck, hoping they would be fine for the rest of their college life without him. The said boys were busy clearing up the mess he made, and Renjun mouthed to him that 'they will wait here for him and that he must come back alive otherwise he will kill him'.

Donghyuck doesn't know which was worse; getting killed by Mark, or getting killed by Renjun. Either way, Principal Choi better have 911 on speed dial.

Mark drags him for a few minutes before shoving him into, what Donghyuck identified to be, the ground floor male toilets.

Mark isn't cruel enough to murder him in cold blood on the even colder bathroom floors... right?

Donghyuck was practically trembling in fear. He feared no one, yet Mark looked very, very scary right now. He didn't expect that. For the past week and a half of observing (stalking) Mark, the older always looked cold and quiet... but _scary_? He was like a completely different person.

"I-I'm really sorry. I'll pay for your lunch... and your clothes." Donghyuck ran his eyes over the older's ruined outfit, frowning at the sight. "I'm seriously sorry."

"Shut up and just fucking clean it already!" Mark snapped at him, causing Donghyuck to flinch, even more startled than before. 

He hastily grabbed some tissues, wetting a few under the tap and carefully dabbing the orange pasta stains off the older's shirt. His jeans were going to be more tough, but if Donghyuck wanted to walk out of this bathroom alive... he had to try.

He kneeled down until his head was in level with the older's waist, awkwardly balancing himself on the floor since he didn't know where to place his hands as he wiped at the denim jeans.

Suddenly, Mark let out a deep laugh and if Donghyuck wasn't so attracted to the sound, he would've been greatly offended.

"W-why are you laughing?" he knitted his eyebrows in annoyed confusion. Here he was, praying for his life... yet Mark was _laughing_ at him?!

"Nothing much," Mark's grin turned into a cocky smirk and Donghyuck felt a shiver run down his spine when Mark hooked a finger under his chin and jerked it up forcefully, "you look good like this. On your knees, in front of me... I've decided on a suitable punishment."

"W-what?" Donghyuck stuttered, his breathing increasing to a mellow pant at the older's words and their implications, "Punishment?"

"You didn't think I'd just let you off, huh?" Mark chuckled darkly, "Room 89, tonight, 9 pm... don't be late."

With that, Mark grabs his bag and heads out of the door after brushing off the tissue shredding left on his jeans from how furiously Donghyuck had been wiping them. He leaves just like that, without another word.

Donghyuck doesn't know whether to feel relieved... or fear for his life even more.

"Ok, I'm worried now. You're not telling me what happened when Mark dragged you off." Renjun pestered him the moment he arrived back to their dorm room. Donghyuck felt way too embarrassed to go back to the cafeteria, so he just hid in an empty classroom until Renjun finished and met up with older in their room instead.

"Nothing happened!" Donghyuck whined, wishing they could just drop this conversation.

"Then why are you all red?"

"I'm just embarrassed! People get a little red when they're embarrassed, you know that right?!" Donghyuck groaned in frustration, "I'm forced to accept the fact that someone in our school has been elected as student council president, which I still need to find out who, AND... I just spilt pasta all over Mark Lee in front of the entire school. Who is he anyway? Everyone's treating him like he's some sort of god!"

"I'm concerned with the way you've only just recognised now how popular he is." Renjun points out.

"I knew he was popular... but damn, how many countries did he save to get his name to fall from everyone's lips?"

"He's literally top student, best in all his classes, he's captain of the basketball team, a representative in sports, a prodigy in business and I'm pretty sure he's the most expected candidate for valedictorian for his year." Renjun explained, usefully spilling all that he found on the said boy.

"Fuck... he really does have it all." Donghyuck tried to joke, but inside, he was terrified. What was Mark going to do to him later on in a matter of only thirty dreaded minutes? He just lobbed pasta on the school's ace student in front of the entire student body. He basically just signed his death.

Those thirty minutes ticked by agonizingly slow, but at the same time, not slow enough because Donghyuck had already blurted out a random excuse to Renjun before leaving their room and heading up two flights of stairs to the room Mark told him to go to. Luckily, the first years and second years shared a dormitory block... but in that moment, Donghyuck didn't feel very lucky.

Hesitantly, he knocked on the door, hoping no one would answer so he could just say that he tried and go back to his own dorm.

The universe must really hate him because only after a few seconds, the door opened, revealing Mark, clad in a tight shirt and loose track suit trousers. His hair was slightly messy and he wore round, gold-rimmed glasses.

'Fuck...' Donghyuck mentally cursed at himself, 'he looks really good right now... oh no.'

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you coming inside?" Mark raised an eyebrow, completely unimpressed.

"R-right... sorry." Donghyuck ducked his head slightly as he entered the room. It was a little bigger than his own, maybe second year privileges.

"I don't want to waste any time, so let's just get this over with." Mark stated as he went over to what Donghyuck presumed to be, his room. 

Donghyuck followed reluctantly, clutching the hem of his over-sized sweatshirt as tightly as he could, chewing his bottom lip nervously as he entered the room.

He pried his eyes away from Mark and whatever he was taking out of his bed-side drawer and went over to the window instead. Mark's dorm room was right at the end of the corridor of his floor, so the view from his window was way nicer - a nearby park and faint outline of skyscrapers that dotted around their city. Not to mention a clearer view of the sky.

He stayed by the window for a few moments before the sound of a cough caught his attention and he turned back to face Mark.

"I hope you know that I'm not someone you can mess with." Mark started off, seriousness dripping through his tone.

Despite barely knowing anything about Mark, apart from his very high ranked status within the school due to him being first place in basically everything - Donghyuck believed his words without any doubt. 

"So... your punishment." those very words made Donghyuck shudder in a mixture of fear and curiosity, "Just do what I say and I promise to let you go happily."

'Ok... ok, that seemed like a fair trade, right?' Donghyuck gulped, but he nodded his head and moved closer to the older boy when gestured to.

He watched as Mark moved onto the bed and rested himself against the headboard. The lights hadn't been turned on and Donghyuck was grateful for that because the way Mark was looking at him made him blush deeply and he could feel his body grow hot all over.

"First" Mark waved his hand in his vague direction, "... strip."

The lone word hit Donghyuck like a blow in the guts. They were so abrupt and sudden and Mark said it without even a little tinge of emotion.

"W-what?" Donghyuck mumbled, as if he didn't know what he was supposed to do.

"You heard me." Mark declared, "Now strip."

If he looked scary before in the bathrooms, Mark looked really fucking terrifying now. But the tone in his voice was so commanding and confident that Donghyuck couldn't help but feel a little turned on.

He was also a human, and humans have needs. One of his goals was to get laid as soon as possible, and Mark is way too good of a hit to miss. Donghyuck's ego only heightened after that; all this time, he thought Mark would never be interested in him or even spare him a glance. Mark was good at everything! He only heard positive things about him.

Donghyuck could only think that he must have a special charm of his own to have attracted the attention of someone like Mark Lee. It was only his second week of college, yet it seemed as if he scored big time.

"You really don't listen do you? I said I wanted to get this over with and you're still standing there." Mark's voice interrupted Donghyuck's thoughts that gradually proceeded to what kind of dates he'd like to go on.

"O-oh... sorry," he apologised (again).

Slowly, with a very flushed face, he began to peel off his sweatshirt and toss it onto the chair tucked under the desk in the corner of the room. He glanced at Mark once and saw how the older's eyes clearly raked over his bare chest and it took all his power not to cover himself up with his hands. He fiddled with the zipper of his jeans, squeezing his eyes shut so he wouldn't have to see Mark's face as he pulled the denim fabric down until he was only left in his underpants.

"Now come here." Mark instructed and Donghyuck wordlessly followed, letting out a small yelp when Mark tugged him onto the bed and positioned himself on top of the younger.

Mark didn't spare him a glance as he pulled off his own shirt and oh-

_Oh-_

They're actually doing it. They're _actually_ going to do _it_.

"W-wait, wait! Uhh... your r-roommate! Maybe-" Donghyuck scrambled for an excuse.

"He's not here right now." Mark stated before leaning down and whispering in the latter's ear, "But if I were you... I'd keep it down either way."

Donghyuck tore his eyes away from Mark, too embarrassed to meet his gaze as he let his eyes skim over Mark's body once the older's removed his trousers.

'He's fit.' Donghyuck thinks, admiring the pale, slim, toned body, 'Definitely a sports player.'

Donghyuck doesn't even remember what happened next. All he could recall was giving consent before Mark removed their briefs and tore open a condom packet, dangerously whispering to him to keep quiet.

A bad feeling surged in the pit of Donghyuck's stomach and he grew more worried for the aftermath as Mark did as he pleased with him.

But such thoughts were quickly evaporated from his mind because all he could feel right now was pure and perfect pleasure.

He wrapped his arms around Mark's neck and held on for dear life because Mark really had no mercy on him, not even caring that it was his first time and it hurt like a fucking bitch.

For some unexplainable reason, Donghyuck found that incredibly hot. They've never even held a proper conversation until today (if any words exchanged between them could even be considered a conversation) but Mark treated his body like they've been doing this for years. 

When people said Mark was good at everything... they really did mean _everything_.

When they both had their release, Mark pulled out straight away, pointedly ignoring the pained whines from the younger and moved to clean himself up and tug on his clothes.

"You should go clean up and leave quickly. Busy day tomorrow." Mark suggested, tone as monotonous and serious as ever. He left the room to reasons unknown, leaving Donghyuck to fully understand what just happened.

'Wait... what?' the unsettling feeling in his stomach resurfaced and, somehow, Donghyuck should've expected this.

He had stood there and familiarised himself within Mark's room, thinking that he might as well get used to the place since he was going to be there often. He stood there and thought that Mark had been interested this entire time and that he actually caught his attention. He stood there and thought about dates they could go on after this.

He stood there like a fool, not realising that he was about to lose his virginity, only for it to be a one night stand.

'Shit.' he cursed at himself, 'Shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit_!'

He grabbed some tissues from the bed side table and cleaned himself up, wincing when he got out of bed, having to support himself with a hand on the mattress as he limped over to the desk on the other side of the room to grab his clothes.

Through much pain and reluctance, he pulled on his clothes and left the room. He could hear the sound of a shower being turned on just as he left and he knew that he wouldn't be getting any confrontation tonight.

This happens all the time. It's nothing new. He gave consent and he enjoyed it. Fuck... he really, _really_ enjoyed it.

One night stands and hook ups are normal. Donghyuck just... didn't want his first time to be one.

He felt pathetic and embarrassed. It was stupid of him to think that someone like Mark Lee would ever actually have any interest in him. It was too good to be true and he probably just fell into a trap many others have fallen in before.

He was no different.

Donghyuck rushed out of the dorm room and slammed the door behind him before making his way down two flights of stairs and scrambling into the comforts of his own dorm room.

He didn't bother checking if Renjun was still asleep or not, he just made his way into his room, threw himself on the bed and cried. He cried his heart out, mourning the loss of something he kept untouched for his entire life, in hope that he would lose it to someone who genuinely liked him and treated him with care during all stages.

It's probably his fault. He didn't pick up on the signs. He dismissed Mark's cold demeanour as his natural character. He thought barely two weeks in a brand new school would suddenly be enough to capture the attention of the top student over all other students.

In the end, Donghyuck only had himself to blame for being so naïve and expecting too much when there was nothing to expect in the first place.

Renjun came into his room a while later, not asking why he was crying and, instead, wiping away his tears and cuddling him tightly.

Mark showed off his expertise and did that to him with no emotions involved and Donghyuck blatantly fell for it. He fell like a mouse in a cheese trap; like an idiot. It couldn't get worse, but Donghyuck always managed to find ways to intensify his sadness because, amidst it all, within all the pleasure he felt and how satisfied his body was throughout the entire deed... Mark didn't even know his _name_.

'If I ever see Mark Lee again,' Donghyuck thought to himself, fist clenching in anger, 'I'm going to punch him so hard in his handsome face and make him beg for forgiveness!'

The next day was even more hellish when Donghyuck woke up to the sound of his alarm practically rupturing his ear drums.

He groggily got out of bed and went to shower first before Renjun woke up. The pain in his lower back lingered and it only reminded him of last night.

As much as it annoyed him and angered him and made him upset - Donghyuck couldn't help but think about how good the sex actually was. In some books he read and movies he saw, in those situations, the sex isn't even good and that only adds to the regret people feel.

But, the only thing Donghyuck regretted was not punching Mark in the face for being an insensitive dick. 

He showered quickly, furiously rubbing all over his body in attempts to remove the feeling of Mark's touches on his skin. The thought made him warm all over and a blush crawled onto his cheeks at the memory of the way Mark handled him. It was unfairly and unnecessarily hot - _Mark_ was unfairly and unnecessarily hot. 

But that doesn't make Donghyuck want to punch him in the face any less.

"Your first student council meeting!" Renjun cheered once they both left the dorm to meet up with Jeno and Jaemin in the cafeteria, "You must be excited."

"The only thing I'm excited about is finding out who snatched the spot of president from me!" Donghyuck huffed in annoyance, still not over the very misfortune that caused him to be an emotional mess in the first place.

"You know what? I'm going to come with you to the student council room, just in case you end up killing the president." Renjun sighed.

"Please don't stop me if I do."

"Do what?" Jeno interrupted once the two reached the table he and Jaemin were waiting at.

"Murdering the student council president." Renjun answers on his behalf, sighing at his own words.

"You still don't know who it is? Everyone knows now!" Jaemin adds in, "It's-"

"No! Don't bother telling me now." Donghyuck stops him instantly, "I'm going to the student council room now for our first meeting, so I'll see them there and I'll be sure to give them a piece of this-" he lifts up a threatening fist, fully intended to make, whoever the student council president was, life a living hell.

They talked for a little longer, but Donghyuck kept drifting off into his own thoughts, barely engaging in the conversation. He couldn't help but think about last night and what he did with Mark.

It frustrated and confused him to no end. He should absolutely despise the older and never talk to him ever again. But, a part of him wants to repeat the activities he did last night with Mark. It's kinda pathetic and it'll probably ruin his self-esteem. But he can't help it.

Soon, the time for his meeting arrives and Donghyuck waves Jeno and Jaemin off since Renjun insisted on coming with him to the student council room, which the tanned boy was more than grateful for.

They walked casually to the designated room which was only a door away from the principal's office.

"Good luck, vice president!" Renjun nudged him teasingly, "Make the school a better place."

"I'll try." Donghyuck laughed, mentally thanking the chinese boy for unknowingly making him feel better. "Now, time to meet the president." sarcasm was evident in his tone but Donghyuck was currently overcome with nothing but jealousy at the thought of someone being better than him in such a way.

He opened the door and found a lone figure standing behind a desk at the very centre of the room. He felt his breath hitch in his throat when the figure to turn around and, soon, Donghyuck was faced with the one person he really _didn't_ want to see.

_Fuck._

"Ah, the vice president has arrived." Mark wore a cocky smirk and Donghyuck gritted his teeth at the sight. 

Mark stood carelessly behind the desk, which Donghyuck identified was the very desk he was supposed to be at. On it was a name bar with the words 'student council president' in bold letters, similar to the one Donghyuck saw in the principal's office when he went for his interview.

"Why are you here?" he seethed and missed the way Mark was momentarily surprised by how angry the tanned boy looked, but quickly composed himself afterwards.

"What do you mean why? I'm part of the committee." Mark shrugged, smirk still prominent on his lips, "You should be more respectful towards the _president._ "

Renjun held onto Donghyuck's arm, forcing the younger not to go over there and attack Mark.

Donghyuck couldn't believe it. Mark stole the president spot from him? Mark _Lee_?! The very asshole who fucked him last night and told him to leave afterwards without saying anything?! All because he spilt pasta on him?! 

_Mark Lee._

Top student in basically everything he did, basketball captain, sports representative, business prodigy, most expected for valedictorian for his year _and_ student council president?

Donghyuck decided to add to that list. 

Mark was all of those things, but above everything... he was now Donghyuck's _arch nemesis_. His complete opposite, his rival for life.

The very person Donghyuck despised with every fibre of his body, letting nothing but hatred and jealousy consume him when he did so much as _look_ at Mark.

His _enemy_.

His enemy who he very much would like to sleep with again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> ~Risa


	3. one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the pre-set chapter thing is so annoying :((((
> 
> sorry if it says 'chapter 3: one'
> 
> this is purposely set one year after the prologue!! :)

"Hey Donghyuck-ssi!"

"Ah! Vice president is here!"

"Donghyuck-ah! I love your outfit today!"

"I can't stop re-watching your production last year! You were amazing!"

"Here's my number, let's meet up sometime."

Donghyuck offered everyone who waved at him his signature, sunny smile as he walked over to his locker, engaging in small talk before excusing himself cutely. It barely took one year to get everyone practically on their knees for Lee Donghyuck, the boy who impressed many with his theatrical talents and impressive skills when it came to the performing arts. Not to mention, he was an amazing student council member, taking up his role of vice president very seriously and was always more than happy to take in suggestions from the student body when brought up.

He smiled a lot and spread happiness basically wherever he went. That, and he was fun to flirt with. Donghyuck was naturally flirty and often teased people just to rile them up. That in itself was one of the many traits he possessed that had everyone absolutely smitten for him. He was cute and bubbly and enthusiastic, people were instantly intrigued by his looks and character. Some have even been successful enough to take him out on a date, but none made it past the first day since Donghyuck kept it nothing short of friendly. There was another thing that made the second year, tanned boy so interesting.

"Markie hyung~~" Donghyuck squealed as he rushed over to the black haired boy and purposely knocked into him, a playful grin on his lips.

"I told you not to call me that, you brat." Mark glared at the younger, "Why don't you listen to me for once?"

"Listen to _you_?" Donghyuck questioned, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Never."

The one thing that really added to Donghyuck's unique lifestyle was his well-known and very mutual rivalry with none other than Mark Lee, a third year, top student, basketball team captain and student council president.

Everyone could see the amount of tension between the two and it wasn't a secret that Donghyuck had been after the spot as president and was clearly very upset when he didn't get it.

The two have a strange dynamic. One would think that student council president and vice should have a good relationship, since the job was very difficult in itself and required a lot of teamwork and reliability on other members.

Mark Lee and Lee Donghyuck seemed to be an exception.

They hated each other's guts and they never fail to show it. Always wanting to do better than the other in whichever way they can. While Donghyuck teased and made fun of Mark, the older seemed to take none of it and refused to play in his games, pushing the latter away every chance he gets.

They constantly bicker and argue even over the most trivial things and, as much as it's entertaining to watch, it can get really annoying and petty to the point the principal steps in and pulls them apart. Yes, the _principal_. 

No one knows when and why their hatred for each other started, but they can't find any answers even if they tried.

"When are you handing in your assignment?" Mark asked, leaning over Donghyuck's desk to glare at the tanned boy.

"Hmmm... when I want to?" Donghyuck placed a finger on his chin, smiling cheekily.

"The deadline is today. Everyone else on the committee has already submitted their work," Mark stated with an angry frown, "everyone but you, of course."

"Ok, ok, calm down... jeez." Donghyuck rolled his eyes before opening one of his desk drawers, pulling out a stack of papers and handing them to Mark, "Here you go, _president_."

"If you already did them, why didn't you hand them in?!" Mark groaned in frustration, not knowing why he even bothered asking since he knew the younger handed work in right on the day of the deadline so Mark would have to spend even longer checking through them.

"Hey, as long as I hand it in before the deadline... it's all good." Donghyuck shrugged as he stood up and started packing his things, "Now, as much as I _love_ talking to you for longer than I have to... I have class. Bye, president!"

Mark had to hold himself back from punching the table. His angered look caught Donghyuck's attention just before the younger was about to leave and, knowing him, he always had to tease the older about it.

"Aww... don't look so sad now that I'm going." he cooed, pouting his lips, "You'll see me later anyway~"

"Just get out." Mark rolled his eyes and pushed the younger out of the student council room, ignoring the latter's victorious laughs.

Mark could easily and very successfully hate Donghyuck; he does exactly that. But as soon as the little _arrangement_ they've got going on is mentioned, Mark practically loses all his will to live.

He moves over to his own desk, the desk being one of the only two in the student council room besides the long table between the two desks which is used for student council meetings with the other members of the committee.

He silently packed his stuff up and headed for the door, deciding to go to class early and start on some work before his lesson begins.

Donghyuck knocked on the door once, a stupidly indescribable feeling bursting in his chest just like it did every time he stood in front of this very door. It's been a year and Donghyuck can't forget about _it_ , even though he has no means in needing to remember it either.

"Oh, hey Donghyuck!" a warm smile greets him once the door opens.

"Hey, Lucas~" Donghyuck replies in a flirty tone, they've already established closeness and the older insisted on him dropping honorifics and addressing him by whichever name he wanted.

Donghyuck slipped inside the familiar dorm room, one that he's been in many times before - _so_ many times before.

His eyes shift to one of the two doors leading to respective rooms and he can't help but frown, his usual boastfulness and sass momentarily disappearing.

Suddenly, the door he had been staring at opens, revealing a stressed looking boy with messy black hair and black-rimmed glasses.

"You're late." Mark snapped at him and, if it were outside the dorm room, Donghyuck would've snapped back with a witty remark, but they're not outside, so he stays quiet.

"Class ran over... sorry." Donghyuck frowned, shifting on his foot uncomfortably.

Mark only rolled his eyes and disappeared back into his room, leaving the door open as an invitation.

"Don't worry, he's been in a pissy mood as soon as he came back." Lucas assured the tanned boy, recognising his sadness. "He's been busy with work and basketball practises-"

"It's ok, I don't need an explanation." Donghyuck put on a bright smile and Lucas seemed reassured enough to nod and head for the door.

"I'm going then, see ya Mark!" Lucas yelled, earning an audible 'ok' from the said boy, before he turned to face Donghyuck, "Bye, Donghyuck-ah."

"See you." Donghyuck waved him off and waited until the door closed.

He let out a wary sigh before making his way to Mark's room, closing the door behind him.

Mark doesn't say anything, only takes off his shirt and waits on the bed, eyes moving over to Donghyuck, waiting for the latter to do as usual.

Donghyuck doesn't wait for an instruction or a command, he simply shrugs off his clothes until he's completely naked and saunters over to the bed, letting Mark pull him down and do whatever he pleased.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Mark raised a brow as he ripped open a condom packet with his teeth and rolled it on.

"N-nothing." Donghyuck tears his gaze away and grips onto the sheets underneath him. In other situations, he probably would've said something like 'because you look so ugly right now' in response to the older's question. But, as soon as he gets naked, only for Mark to see, the words and insults dry on his tongue and instead of coherent sentences, all he does is stutter pathetically.

Mark doesn't really care. As soon as he gets his fingers in and the younger lets out a silent scream, he forgets the entire exchange and does whatever he wants.

Donghyuck slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his moans once Mark is fully inside him. Even after doing this for a long time, he could never get use to the size, his entire body wracking in pain and pleasure even before Mark actually gets to move as tears spill from his eyes.

"S-so good!" he managed to squeak out and quickly covers his mouth again when he feels another scream build up in his throat.

They go at it for a while longer until they both release and Mark pulls out quickly, leaving just as fast to clean himself up.

Like every time they do it, Donghyuck waits a few moments, rethinks his life choices, regrets said life choices and then accepts his fate and starts to clean himself up. He pulls on his clothes with haste, wanting to leave the room and go to his own dorm so he can shower and sleep, already feeling the stickiness underneath his clothes itch at his skin.

"Oh, by the way..." Mark started and the words are so foreign and unusual at this particular time that Donghyuck visibly shudders as he halts in his steps, pausing right before the door.

"I'm partially living in the dorm and at home now." Mark stated.

"Wait... what? You'll be living here _and_ at your house?" Donghyuck repeated and Mark simply nods.

"My house is literally a ten minute walk and a five minute bus ride from here, so I'm going to stay there more often and only come here when I've got basketball matches." Mark explained, not even bothering to look up at the younger, "Just thought I'd tell you."

"D-does that mean we should stop-"

"I didn't say that." Mark grimaced, as if he expected a smarter response from the younger. He pulled out his phone and started typing on it and before Donghyuck could get curious, his own phone vibrates with a notification.

He pulled the device out and eyed the message appearing on his lock screen, the one he just received from Mark.

"My address." Mark said simply, "My parents work night shifts, so come over and do student council work with me until they go."

"I don't need to do that!" Donghyuck protested, not knowing how to deal with the new circumstances of their arrangement, "I can do the work myself."

"Hm.... I know that. But I'm sick of you handing your work in on the day its due." Mark scowled, "You'll do it in front of me and then hand it in."

"What the actual fuck?!" Donghyuck cursed, glaring at the older.

"And there you go at it again, disobeying instructions when given." Mark sighed in a bored voice, using his president card to feign his disappointment.

"I'm not-" Donghyuck cut his own words off, clenching his fists tightly in annoyance, "Fine... whatever, I don't care anyway."

"Great, see you tomorrow night then." Mark smirked, knowing he won the argument, he didn't bother to lift his head up and show the younger his satisfaction, but Donghyuck caught it anyway.

Donghyuck gritted his teeth, fuelled his hatred and left the dorm, slamming the door behind him. He forced himself to walk off the limp in his step, hoping that any lingering students in the dormitory block wouldn't question anything and headed outside, walking for a couple of minutes until his own dormitory block was in sight.

He rushed into his dorm room, threw himself on the couch, grabbed a cushion and screamed into it, causing a strangled, muffled sound to resonate around the room.

"This has become a regular thing now," the sound of Renjun's voice interrupts him, "you coming back late at night, all angry and hormonal and then screaming away your frustrations into our poor cushions-" he moves towards the couch and hovers over the tanned boy who only let out an annoyed groan, "-should I be getting concerned at this point?"

"What's there to be concerned about?" Donghyuck lifted his head up from the cushion to look at Renjun with a forced smile, "Everything is absolutely perfect!"

"Hmm... I didn't say it before, but now I think- I think I finally get it." Renjun rounds the couch to sit down next to the other, "I know why you've been coming back to the dorm like this for almost a year now!"

"Y-you do?" a nervous sweat trickles down the back of Donghyuck's neck as he couldn't help but worry if his secret had been revealed.

"Yup!" Renjun looks at him smugly and Donghyuck fears for the worst as he waits in anticipation for Renjun to completely expose him, "You're having relationship problems!"  
_What?_

"R-relationship WHAT?!" Donghyuck repeated, almost spluttering over his words.

"We've been friends for a year now and you can't even tell me that you have a boyfriend?" Renjun frowned in mild-but-not-that-mild betrayal.

"I _don't_ have a boyfriend and I _don't_ have any relationship problems. Do you know why I don't have any relationship problems? It's because I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"

"Ok, ok... fuck... you don't need to repeat yourself. I get it, you're desperate." Renjun rolled his eyes and Donghyuck clicked his tongue in disbelief.

"Mhmm yeah, I'm desperate..." he mumbled under his breath in a mocking tone before deciding to fire back some blackmail for the other, "so anyway, how's it going with Jeno? Made any moves yet? You know I went through hell and back just to get you to ask for his fucking number, even when I could've given it to you myself, yet you still insisted on making a move." 

"Shut up." Renjun glared at him, but the blush on his cheeks said otherwise, "Also, for your information, Jeno and I have texted a lot."

"Oh really?" Donghyuck smirked knowingly, "I don't think texting each other to email notes from classes you missed counts, Junnie. When I say texting, I mean actually holding a proper fucking conversation because you're too much of a pussy to do it face to face!"

"Why do you keep pushing me?!" Renjun cried out, "He doesn't even see me like that! One would at least be able to tell if someone was interested in them or not in _that_ way. Jeno only sees me as a friend!"

"Jeno sees everyone as a friend! He's just an overly friendly person!"

"An overly friendly person who has no business screaming big dick energy!" Renjun snatched the cushion from Donghyuck's hands and screamed into it.  
It wasn't their emotional support cushion for nothing.

"Please don't talk about Jeno's dick in front of me." Donghyuck sighed in disgust, "He's practically my brother... from another mother."

"Well, since he's _practically_ your brother... why won't you help me?!!"

"I am helping you! But if you want to escape the friendzone... you have to be the one making the moves! Not me!" Donghyuck yelled, frustration evident in his voice.

"But I don't want to!"

"Well I'm not doing it for you!" Donghyuck protested, "So either you grow some balls and go confess to him, or you don't. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do because Mark fucking Lee is gonna give me hell if I don't finish it."

"How have you both not killed each other yet?" Renjun's words came out muffled since his face was back to being stuffed into the pillow, but Donghyuck still understood.

"Believe me, I've wanted to... many times." Donghyuck sighed, forcing himself to forget about his previous encounter with the said boy barely ten minutes ago, "Anyway, it's getting late. Go to bed."

"Yeah, yeah..." Renjun mumbled sadly and Donghyuck could practically hear the dejection in his voice.

"Seriously, get some rest." he encouraged, "You'll need to be in a good mood for when you see Jeno tomorrow; everyone fears you whenever you're in a bad mood."

"Ok, I will." Renjun laughed, pulling himself off the couch and heading towards his room, not before turning to shoot the slight younger a grateful smile for making him feel better, "Thanks, Hyuck."

"No problem." Donghyuck offered a smile back, "Good night."

"Night."

Donghyuck entered his room and left the door half open. Wordlessly, he moved around and grabbed a shirt and a pair of shorts before quietly making his way over to the bathroom, deciding that a warm shower would help relieve his body from the touches he could still practically feel on his skin and hoped that somehow, the warmness of water would lessen the pain in his lower back.

'Stupid fucking Mark Lee.' he cursed in his head, 'Took my first time, treating me like shit, being mean and an overall dickhead to me... I swear I'll kill you one day.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed it :)


	4. two

The students of Seoul International frequently find themselves wondering just when will god forgive them and take them away from the place that humans refer to as the _cafeteria_.

 _Everything_ goes fucking down in the cafeteria.

Every fucking thing. All the fucking time.

"Mark, everyone's looking..." Lucas tried to shake the slight younger's arm to get his attention, "stop glaring at Donghyuck, already!"

"He was glaring at me first!" Mark spat angrily, screwing his eyes at the tanned boy who was sitting on the other side of the cafeteria, yet the configuration of tables and students still enabled them to maintain eye contact as they ate their food.

"It has seriously got to be a crime to be this dumb." Hendery muttered under his breath and the comment was enough to get Mark to tear away from the staring competition he was currently having with Donghyuck just so he could snarl at Hendery.

"HA! I WIN!" Donghyuck's voice echoed through the entire cafeteria as the said boy shot up, punching his fist in the air, "YOU LOOKED AWAY FIRST!"

"Ok then, you win. I was getting tired of playing children's games with you anyway." Mark shrugged, making his sure his words were heard loud and clear for everyone in the room, especially Donghyuck.

"I'm glad you're finally admitting that you're childish enough to play games with me." Donghyuck remarked, plopping himself back down on his seat with a defeated huff.

"Well someone's gotta give baby Donghyuck attention, right?" Mark gave the younger a tight-lipped smile, mentally firing insults at how much of an attention-slut Donghyuck was.

"I'm truly honoured you would willingly take up that responsibility." Donghyuck, already knowing the kind of impression Mark had of him, smiled, resting his chin on the palm of his hand.

"Don't think too-"

"STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENT, PLEASE SEE PRINCIPAL CHOI IN HIS OFFICE." the intercom in the cafeteria interrupted the two boy's bickering, "NOW."

"Is the principal seriously calling you in again for fighting with the president?" Jeno questioned, "You're actually an entire cafeteria apart from each other this time! And, to add to it, you're both not holding forks in your hands."

"That's an improvement." Jaemin pointed out.

"Maybe he's calling you in to congratulate you." Renjun assured. "You and Mark have survived this long without killing each other."

"Hmm... I really do need an award for that." Donghyuck nodded in agreement as he got up, and packed away his things, getting ready to leave, "Anyway, see you later tonight at ours?"

"Of course!" Jaemin clapped his hands enthusiastically, "We missed last week's movie marathon because _someone_ decided to hold a student council meeting last minute." he shot a glare in the direction of the table Mark was sitting at.

"I know. But not this time, I promise." Donghyuck chuckled, glad he could share his hatred towards Mark Lee with his friends- even if they didn't entirely know why Donghyuck hated him in the first place. "I'll see you guys then."

After getting nods of confirmation from the other three, Donghyuck turns to leave the room, only for a scowl to escape his lips when he recognises Mark waiting by the door, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Why are you waiting for me, asshat?" he snarked once he reached the older, ignoring the way he could hear audible gasps from nearby, figuring he had offended Mark's fans by calling him bad names.

"If we're getting in trouble, it's probably because of you. So, I'm not going by myself." Mark hissed at him and Donghyuck only rolled his eyes at the stupid reason.

After they both fought to get through the door first, resulting in them both trying to squeeze through, they made their way towards the principal's office. As soon as the two left, it was as if a breath of fresh air had air-conned its way across the room, bringing a sense of relief over the students who had watched in nothing but pure interest at the two boys who were previously exchanging spiteful words and deathly glares.

Just their daily dose of drama.

It shouldn't worry him anymore, they've done this so many times over the course of last year. But Donghyuck couldn't help but get a little nervous every time he was sent to the principal's office. He always ends up thinking back to try and remember if he talked back to a teacher, or pulled a prank on one of the freshman students or something like that. He could admit it to himself easily and rather proudly, he didn't exactly fit the idealistic image of a student council vice president. 

He wasn't strict and stern with his duties, he wasn't on all his teacher's 'best student' lists, despite being one of the best across his batch when it came to grades and achievements. He followed all the rules until the very letter, but he played around them at the same time. Arguing that "no where in the student handbook does it say I can't have temporary highlights in my hair. It says I can't dye my hair, but temporary dye is not the same thing". It always works in his favour and some of the teachers have even said to him that they enjoy his enthusiastic and fun personality - so it wasn't entirely a loss. 

Unlike Mark, of course. Mark was the token representative of a perfect student council president. He also had the best grades and was liked by all the teachers and didn't dare defy any rules when on school grounds. How was Donghyuck supposed to tell Mark that him being all perfect and shit was terribly unattractive?

"God... you really did do something bad, didn't you?" Mark's annoying voice brings Donghyuck out of his thoughts. He himself knew that Donghyuck would always drift off whenever they were called to the principal's office and he really didn't have time to get scolded for something Donghyuck did.

"Shut up, idiot. I didn't do anything!" Donghyuck argued, hissing at the older, only getting an eyeroll in return.

Mark didn't bother retaliating once they stepped inside the waiting area of the principal's office. He knocked on the door first and Donghyuck waited patiently behind him.

"Come in." the principal's voice instructed, allowing Mark to open the door. They both stepped in and bowed respectfully to the principal, greeting him politely and Donghyuck muttered something about Mark being "a suck-up" under his breath when the older bowed for longer than necessary.

"Please take a seat." the principal gestured to them, waiting for a moment until Mark and Donghyuck sat down. "Now, as you know, a new year has started and the student council will be as busy as ever. There are many events being held for all years as well as individual years and, naturally, you two will be in charge of making sure everything runs accordingly. For now, I just want to make sure you're aware of the biannual school board meeting in a few months. We need to make sure the school maintains its high standard until the end of the year. I won't stand some other school taking our top spot. Understand?"

"Yes, Principal Choi." both Mark and Donghyuck nodded in agreement.

The biannual school board meeting was held around quarter way through the school year and at the end. It was just a place where the government of education meet with principals and head teachers of some of the top schools in the country and they discuss plans for improving the education system as well as updating the criteria of bettering schools through the ways of promotion and selling their school out. 

Donghyuck had grown to hate the event whenever it came round. Last year, on both occasions, Mark attended the meeting with the principal all by himself, leaving Donghyuck in charge of student council meetings while he was gone for the entire day. Even though he was just as capable to attend such a meeting, Mark didn't deem him 'ready enough' to go with him, so he just left him behind. Another reason that Donghyuck had added to the list of reasons why he absolutely despised Mark Lee - he never saw the worth in people.

"Anyway, I just wanted to remind you two before the year kicks off. Last year was a success and I want this year to be this same. Don't make me regret choosing you two for student council president and vice again this year." Principal Choi was a nice, friendly looking guy - especially since almost majority of the student body was taller than him but, besides that, he was ok. Except for when it came to maintaining the high rank their school had - that was the only time their principal was strict and harsh.

"We won't, principal." Mark assured confidentially.

When Donghyuck didn't say anything in response, Mark elbowed him discreetly, trying to get his attention.

"Ow- I mean... we'll do our best, principal." Donghyuck rubbed his side with an annoyed look, shooting a glare at Mark before turning to smile at the principal.

"Good. That's all then." the principal waved them off, "You are dismissed."

With another bow, the two left the room silently. It wasn't until they were far away from the general area where the principal's office was did they finally relax.

"You are such a mess." Mark sighed, "You're meant to answer when the principal's talking to you."

"Shut up! I know that!" Donghyuck shoved him, 'pay back for the way he elbowed me in the ribs earlier'. 

"Why did he even let you be vice president this year when you can't do anything right?" Mark rolled his eyes.

"Really funny of you to say that, Mark-"

"Mark _hyung_." Mark corrected.

"-when all I do is clean up after you! You're the real mess... _Mark_." Donghyuck snarled at him, crossing his arms, "If you didn't leave the school like I told you to... I would've been president this year."

"You didn't tell me to leave... you threatened me." Mark sighed, shaking his head at the memory of him receiving death threats from Donghyuck all summer after their previous year, telling him not to run for president again. "I don't know why you want me off the student council so badly."

"I have my reasons." Donghyuck stated with a huff, "One of them being that I can't stand to look at you more than I have to. Every day I come into the student council room and I'm tortured by the sight of your face first thing in the morning. How could it get worse than that?!"

"It isn't any better for me, honestly." Mark sighed, "I also would like to look up from my desk and _not_ see you there glaring at me."

"Great. Then the feeling is mutual."

"Very."

Donghyuck clenched his jaw tightly and balled his fists. He couldn't even stand being near Mark for a second longer. So, without another word, he left his side and started walking off to his next class.

Mark didn't seem to care and only headed in the opposite direction, wondering why he and Donghyuck had to talk in the first place as soon as they left the principal's office.

Donghyuck couldn't believe the sheer audacity of Mark Lee.

How dare he say that he didn't understand why Donghyuck didn't want him on the student council committee?!

Wasn't it very obvious that Donghyuck hated him because he's nothing but an insensitive asshole who doesn't care about anyone but himself?! That's all Mark was and all he'd ever be!

He spent all summer wasting his time trying to get Mark to quit the student council and not run for president the following year. He didn't want to walk into the student council room and see Mark's face. He didn't want to talk to him, to let Mark tell him what to do and what not to do. He didn't want Mark near him in any way.

Their stupid _arrangement_ started last year, but they didn't see each other all summer. Donghyuck wasn't the least bit surprised. Mark only needed him when they were at school and they were forced to see each other. He probably had a bunch of people he could fuck with - he never needed Donghyuck, even when it came to their sexual acts.

While Donghyuck stayed sex deprived and horny without his regular meet-ups with Mark, he spent a lot of time thinking of the pros and cons of their arrangement.

They're just fuck buddies - just... minus the buddy part. They're not friends. Donghyuck hates Mark. Mark only uses him whenever he pleased and that was it.

There were many cons. The cons most definitely out-weighed the pros. There were so many negatives to their arrangement that Donghyuck decided, after a long summer of thinking, that he would walk up to Mark and tell him that he didn't want to fuck around anymore. That he wanted to end it for good and never have to talk to Mark again. He would never have to deal with the amount of sexual tension between them whenever they're in the student council room or even when they're near each other.

But the world wasn't always in his favour because, just as Donghyuck was on the verge of telling him, all this thoughts and intentions fly out of his head as soon as Mark, to put it blatantly, fucks him. Mark fucks him good and that's the only reason why Donghyuck hasn't decided to cut it this fuckbuddy shit off yet. He's a stressed, hormonal college student... he can't just disregard his needs like that - even though he's unfortunate enough to have his needs satisfied by someone like Mark Lee.

"Hyuck! You're not even paying attention to the movie!" Jaemin whined from his spot cuddled up next to Jeno on their couch.

"W-what? Oh... sorry." Donghyuck chuckled sheepishly before trying to focus his attention back onto the screen. Jeno and Jaemin met up in his and Renjun's dorm for a movie night to make use of the rare amounts of free time they have at the start of the year before they're thrown into the deep end of their work and requirements. It had become a tradition to do something like this as often as they could, but due to the demands of teachers and deadlines, they considered themselves lucky if they could do this at least once within the entire week.

But, clearly, Donghyuck had been too pre-occupied with other things to be paying much attention to the movie and his friends.

He tried to shake off his thoughts and look elsewhere, but the only thing that caught his interest was the way Renjun kept stealing subtle glances at Jeno, evidently upset at the way he and Jaemin were cuddling.

Donghyuck wanted to pull Jaemin over so they could cuddle and leave Renjun to take his place; but that would be way too obvious and Renjun was persistent on making the moves himself. 

So far, the only moves he's managed to make during the entire time the movie was playing, was share a bag of popcorn with Jeno. Donghyuck was certain Renjun celebrated the small victory in his head - he got so happy with the littlest of things; it was cute and sad at the same time.

Suddenly, Donghyuck heard his phone vibrate on the table, catching his attention. He reached over to get it and read through the message he just received.

**dumbfuck president:**  
i'm waiting.

 **me:**  
congratulations?

 **dumbfuck president:**  
i didn't send you my address just for you to have it on your phone ffs

 **me:**  
sorry.  
idk what you're talking about  
:)

 **dumbfuck president:**  
oh yeah. i forgot you're too stupid to read between the lines.  
you better get over here in the next 15 minutes or i'm giving you hell tomorrow.

 **me:**  
you're giving me hell every day just by breathing  
and no  
fuck off  
i'm not coming over tonight.  
i'm with my friends.  
leave me alone.

 **dumbfuck president:**  
14 minutes...

 **me:**  
i'm not coming over!!

 **dumbfuck president:**  
13 minutes now

 **me:**  
i'm not coming!!

 **dumbfuck president:**  
not yet you aren't.  
but if you hurry the fuck up and get over here  
i'll make sure you come.

 **me:**  
what the fuck is wrong with you?!?!  
perverted asshole!

 **dumbfuck president:**  
12 minutes

 **me:**  
keep counting i don't care.  
i already told you i'm not coming over.

 **dumbfuck president:**  
[image attached]

 **me:**  
NO AMOUNT OF DICK PICS WILL CHANGE MY MIND YOU HORNY SHIT

 **dumbfuck president:**  
if i were you, i would get moving right about now.  
don't want your friends to see you get all hot bothered, right?

 **me:**  
please die.

Donghyuck held back a scream. He didn't even know why he opened the image when he knew Mark was only going to send him such things to get him to come over. He fell for it... again!

Not only that, but he couldn't help himself from shifting around as a wave arousal crashed into his lower regions and he could feel himself growing harder.

'Fucking Mark Lee... I hate him... oh god, I hate him so much.'

"You good, Hyuck?" Jeno asked, noticing the boy's frustrated expression.

"Uhh... y-yeah... I'm fine." Donghyuck forced up a smile before pushing himself off the couch. "A-actually, it's getting really s-stuffy in here... I'm gonna get some air-"

"We could open a window." Renjun suggested, but before he could move, Donghyuck hastily stopped him.

"N-no! It's ok! There's... uhhh... there's more air outside!" Donghyuck practically yelled.

"That is literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Renjun deadpanned, not believing him for a second, but he didn't say anything else when Donghyuck pulled up another lame excuse, told the others that he'd be back soon and left the dorm without another word.

Donghyuck smashed in the address of Mark's house on his directions app, finding whichever bus would take him there.

He waited only a couple of minutes at the bus stop in front of the campus until his bus had arrived.

Everything went by quickly and soon, Donghyuck found himself standing in front of what he thought was a fucking mansion.

'Does he seriously live here?' he thought to himself as he pressed on the door bell.

Only a few moments later, the door open and a smirking Mark greeted him.

"You're two minutes late." he stated cockily, "But I'll let it slide since it's the first time."

"I'm so thankful." Donghyuck rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping through his voice.  
Mark led him through the house and Donghyuck could only gawk at the grandness of the interior. If it looked fancy as fuck on the outside, the inside looked as if God decorated it.

There were so many doors and so many rooms and Donghyuck swore he saw people in black and white suits working around the ground floor.

'They have servants?!' he thought to himself, holding back from dropping his jaw at the idea. He knew Mark was rich, but this is a little too much.

Mark didn't say anything and only guided the younger to his room. Donghyuck made a mental note to familiarise himself with the route to Mark's room in his head... for future references.

As soon as they stepped in, Mark locked the door and moved over to the bed.  
"I called you over for one thing... yet you're still standing there." Mark scoffed, not even sparing the younger a glance.

All of a sudden, Donghyuck felt a strike of deja vu hit him. For some reason, walking into Mark's room, hearing such words... it reminded him of the first time they did it a year ago. Wow... it's really been a year since they've started this arrangement.

They obviously didn't fuck every day since then... that would be way too lucky. But meeting each other once every two weeks slowly changed to once a week and then once every few days and then just... whenever they needed it.

Donghyuck didn't know how to respond to Mark's words. He wanted to wait a little longer so he could walk around Mark's room and take everything in. Has he always lived in this house? Was this his room when he was a child as well?

There were posters and pictures on certain walls and Donghyuck wanted to get a better look at them. But it was dark and Mark hadn't moved to turn the lights on.  
There was no reason to be curious about Mark's room. Mark invited him for one reason and one reason only. Nothing more.

With a sigh, pretending as if they were back on campus and they were in the older's dorm room instead of his house, Donghyuck peeled off his clothes and sauntered towards the bed like his body was simply acting on auto-pilot.

Mark wasted no time. He prepped the younger to the point where it was necessary and then fucked him hard and mercilessly.

Just like always, Donghyuck slapped a hand over his mouth to hold back his screams.

"This is one of the advantages of doing it here," Mark whispered into his ear lowly, "you can be as loud as you want."

With that, Mark took both of Donghyuck's hands and held them above the younger's head. Without anything to clamp his mouth shut, Donghyuck screamed and cried, rendering to a moaning mess when Mark was finally done with him. The older's words only seemed to turn him on, they don't really talk much during sex, just exchanging a few words to describe how good it felt and how much more they wanted of it. 

'He's so fucking good at that...' Donghyuck mentally cursed, 'if he didn't fuck me like that, I would've never agreed to come over in the first place.'

"Ugh! Why did you have to call me?!" Donghyuck whined, forcing his body off the mattress through much pain, even though the feeling of satisfaction coursed through him, "Couldn't you have asked someone else? Your phone is probably filled with people who would be more than happily stop their plans and get fucked by you."

Mark just shrugged as he cleaned himself up.

"You're the first person I thought of."

_Wait._

"W-what?" Donghyuck found himself stuttering, like it was the first time they did it. He decided to be thankful for once towards the fact that Mark didn't like to leave the lights on when they fucked- so the darkness provided him the luxury of Mark not being able to see the blush that he could feel crawl up on his cheeks.

Why was he blushing anyway? He could never blush at a single thing Mark says. They're just words. It's only the words that make him react in such a way. _Not_ Mark.

"Yeah. I just remembered I needed to remind you that there's an extra student council meeting tomorrow at lunch." Mark threw on his shirt, again, never looking at Donghyuck, "It was probably convenient to tell you when you got here."

Oh.

That makes more sense. Why would Mark be thinking about him anyway?

"Right. Ok, then." Donghyuck nodded slowly, willing the dejection out of his tone successfully.

"I'll see you to the door." Mark stated and before Donghyuck could insult him on how bad of a host he was to his guest, Mark had already left the room.

Donghyuck rushed on the rest of his clothes before scrambling after the older, not wanting to get lost in the maze of doors and hallways within this massive house.

The only thing that was different was their location. Donghyuck left through the front door and went back to campus, to the safety of his dorm room just like normal. Nothing else changed.

"Where have you been?!" Renjun snapped at him once he entered. "It's so late! Jeno and Jaemin already went back to their dorm after we finished the movie! I had to endure them cuddling the entire way through!"

"I told you, I needed to get some air." Donghyuck brushed off the question, clearly not in the mood to talk.

"What kind of holy air were you breathing in to stay out for this long?!" Renjun trailed after the tanned boy, "Wait... is saying you need to get some air just a cover up for meaning you want to do cocaine? Hyuck... I thought we were passed that."

"No, Junnie..." Donghyuck managed out a laugh. That probably sounded like a better option. "Don't worry, if I was skipping movie night to do drugs, I definitely would've invited you."

"Thank god. I thought you were purposely making me suffer by leaving me with... _them_." Renjun breathed out a sigh of relief.

"You poor thing." Donghyuck pouted, reaching up to pat Renjun's head, but Renjun only swatted his hand away with an annoyed huff. Renjun was way too cute to actually look menacing when he was angry, in Donghyuck's opinion. "Anyway, I'm tired. Good night."

"But-" Renjun cut himself off, deciding against his words and offering a smile to the other, "never mind. Night, Hyuck."

It seemed as if the cycle repeated again and again.

And Renjun went to bed with only one question lingering in hid mind.

_'Why was he limping?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this chapter ! :)


	5. three

"You're on detention duty today." 

Donghyuck shot his head up at the words, looking at Mark with an incredulous glare from his desk.

"No. I don't want to." he declined simply.

"Bold of you to assume it's your decision to make." Mark chuckled, not looking up from the stack of papers he had to sign.

"Last time I checked, I already did my share of detention duties last year." Donghyuck reminded, "Ask someone else."

"Actually, you supervised a total of three detentions while everyone else did nearly six each." Mark corrected, "And yes, _that's_ how many detentions needed to be supervised."

Donghyuck groaned loudly. Why couldn't Mark tell this to him last year then?! Why nowww?!

"Do I really, _really_ have to?!" he tried one last time to get out if it.

"Yes, you really, _really_ do." Mark sighed, already getting tired of this pointless argument, "Look, I'll be in the library at that time anyway, if you really need me, I'll be there."

Donghyuck felt his next words dry on his tongue, his mouth hanging open rather stupidly as if he wanted to say something but forgot what he wanted to say.

_'If you need me, I'll be there.'_

Mark will be there? If he needs help? 

Even the way he said it was soft and nice.

"Donghyuck?" Mark called his name out and _wow_... that was also nice to hear.

Mark has a nice voice and sometimes, due to all the arguing and yelling and hissing they do, Donghyuck frequently forgets that small detail.

"Donghyuck-"

It's boy-ish and low and naturally raspy. Donghyuck seriously wouldn't mind listening to it all day if he _really_ had to. It's not like he'd do it _voluntarily_ , but he wouldn't _mind_.

"LEE DONGHYUCK!" 

"WHAT?!" Donghyuck shivered, startled at the loud voice. 

"I've been calling your fucking name and you only just heard me?!" Mark scolded, crossing his arms, "What is with you? You're being more useless than usual."

"Shut _up_. God, your voice is so annoying!" Donghyuck groaned, massaging the temple of his head just to show how much pain Mark was causing him.

"Ok, that's it. I don't care anymore." Mark threw his hands up in surrender, "You're on detention duty today and that's final. Don't bother arguing, I've already put you on the rota."

"But Mark!"

_Silence._

"Mark!!"

_Silence._

"Mark _hyung_."

Mark visibly stopped writing for a split second before going back to his work and ignoring the younger. But, Donghyuck caught it anyway and smiled at the effect of using honorifics on the older.

"Fine. I'll do detention duty today." he finally gave in with a defeated sigh and ignored the way Mark smiled cockily.

'Stupid Mark.' he cursed, 'Stupid Mark and his stupid voice and even stupider smile.'

Donghyuck almost forgot how much he hated detention duty.

From his previous three supervision sessions last year (well, Mark said it was three... but Donghyuck would disagree) he never did like supervising a room of people who broke even the smallest rule and still had to be punished for it. It's literally college, not high school! Detention is only given to kids... it's kind of embarrassing to be given detention at such an age.

Why does their college even have detention in the first place? What bad could these people possibly have done? The worst Donghyuck could think of was smoking on school grounds or get caught having sex in one of the janitor's closet by a teacher - that would be bad.

Worst of all, being on detention duty _should_ mean that Donghyuck could get some work done for his classes, but that didn't seem to be the case today. 

"Hey, Donghyuck-ah, won't you give us a little spoiler on the production for this year?" a guy Donghyuck found his name to be Kang Jungmin, asked him.

Donghyuck gripped the pen in his hand tightly, trying to release his pent up annoyance in the piece of stationery instead.

"I can't do that, sorry. The theatre department will announce the production title when it's ready." Donghyuck gave him a tight-lipped smile.

"But you're the theatre club leader, you can give us a few hints!" Jungmin persisted.

"I really can't." Donghyuck assured, "Trust me, if I could, I wouldn't hesitate to tell you."

"Aww... you're no fun~" a girl teased, "By the way, can I go to the vending machine and get a drink?"

"You're not allowed to leave the room during detention, sorry." Donghyuck sighed, wishing they could all just let him finish his work.

"But I'm really thirsty!"

"I can do something about that." some other boy answered her, earning a disgusted look from the girl.

"Guys, it's just one hour of detention, please don't make it more unbearable than it has to be." Donghyuck pleaded, his tone practically desperate.

"I don't even know why I'm here." another girl spoke up, "All I did was take a cookie from the teacher's lounge. It's not even that big of a deal."

"Wow... that's actually really-" Donghyuck was about to comment, but the girl already finished his sentence off.

"Stupid? I know." she sighed.

"We're in college! Having detention for small things like these is just a waste of time." a boy, still Jungmin, complained.

"You can do work here if you want." Donghyuck added in, trying to sympathise with them.

"I left my bag in my locker because I thought one of the teacher's was on supervision today... they usually don't let us work." Jungmin explained.

Donghyuck made a mental note to report that to the student council. There's no point in wasting a perfectly good hour sitting in silence and 'reflecting on your mistakes' when you could be studying for tests and finishing homework- which is much more productive.

"You can go get your work, if you want." Donghyuck suggested, "If anyone has left their work in their locker, you can go get it now."

But, only after practically the entire detention class left the room to supposedly 'go to their lockers to get their work', Donghyuck realised that maybe that was a bad call.

Fifteen minutes had passed and the classroom was still empty, save for a couple of students who clearly had their work in front of them and couldn't go with the excuse of needing to fetch it from their lockers. Even if Donghyuck crawled, he would've reached his locker, got his work and returned to the classroom by now.

People these days. You can't trust any of them.

'Oh god... Mark's gonna kill me.'

"Uhh... Heesoo, right?" Donghyuck pointed to one of the students left in the classroom. "You're in charge while I'm gone. I just need to get the others... and the president." he whispered the last part, already regretting his life decisions since he really did _not_ want to see Mark.

"O-ok." Heesoo nodded, blushing at the attention the vice president gave him.

There were only two people left in the classroom, so it wasn't a hard task anyway. With that, Donghyuck bolted out of the classroom and headed straight for the library. He reluctantly pushed the doors open and scanned his eyes around the almost empty vicinity.

He finally spotted a mop of black hair and, even from behind, Donghyuck could recognise him immediately. (Not that he'd been paying much attention before... or anything).

"Uhh... Mark hyung?" he called out, voice tinted in hesitation as he rounded the table and sat opposite the said boy.

Mark looked up at him once, noticed his worried and guilty expression, sighed and then looked back down.

"What happened this time?" he asked simply.

"I accidentally... kinda... sort of... let them go?" Donghyuck tried to explain, euphemising his actions to an extent.

"Let me guess, you fell for the 'I left my work in my locker- please can I go get it so I can do something productive during detention instead of wasting my time reflecting on my mistakes' excuse?" 

If Donghyuck didn't have a detention class to find, he would've shamelessly asked Mark to fuck him right there and then because that was ridiculously hot.

Since when has he started to find Mark knowing everything incredibly sexy?

This is _Mark Lee_ we're talking about here! The very person Donghyuck despised with every fibre of his being!

"Useless as always. Why do I even bother giving you such a simple task? I should just do them myself. I should just run the entire damn student council myself!" Mark mumbled angrily as he packed his stuff up and stuffed them in his bag.

He then started walking away and Donghyuck had no choice but to follow after him, trying to figure out where they were going.

Apparently, they were going outside, some part at the back of the school that Donghyuck didn't even know existed.

"Hyung, what are we-" Donghyuck's words trailed off once they rounded the corner and spotted a familiar group of people huddled around, leaning against the wall with cigarettes in their hands and bags of white power.

"Hold this." Mark opened the zipper of his bag and tossed it for Donghyuck to catch, which the latter barely did.

Donghyuck watched cautiously as Mark slowly walked towards the group of students which he instantly identified to be the supposed detention class.

"I don't know whether you can read the signs, or you just choose to ignore them but... smoking and drugs are not permitted on school grounds." Mark stated in his classic monotonous voice.

"Come on, president, don't be so up-tight." Donghyuck glared when Jungmin spoke up, "Wanna join us?"

"Why don't you save some of the good stuff for a party later on? It's almost like you want me to confiscate them." Mark ignored the invitation completely and continued to provoke the group of bashful students.

"It's not that big of a deal." a girl rolled her eyes.

"The entire reason why you were in detention in the first place was because of this. I'm just going to have to extend your detention time." Mark shrugged, "You must think very highly of yourselves now after you fooled the vice president into thinking you were actually going to get some work to do. Isn't it kind of shameful to take advantage of one's consideration? What did you say to him? Did you say you got detention because you were running in the halls or chewing gum or something like that?"

Donghyuck dropped his head in shame. He couldn't believe he fell for something so obvious. Was he _that_ easy to mess with?

Considering the _arrangement_ he had with the president himself, he probably was... he probably was just a very easy target.

He kinda hoped that with his out-going and almost mischievous personality (as claimed by others), that people wouldn't dupe him to be a naïve person, someone who they can rely on to let them go without saying anything, someone they can easily lie to and betray trust with. 

He wanted to be a fun person to be around and was genuinely happy to make others happy... but in the end, he was more of a fool than he thought.

And he isn't entirely surprised that it was Mark who made him realise that.

_How embarrassing._

"Listen, I don't have time for this and neither does Donghyuck. Hand them over and go back to detention." Mark commanded, "If you leave now, maybe I'll keep my mouth shut from informing the principal and adding an extra hour to your detention."

Donghyuck looked at Mark in what could be considered similar to awe.

Mark is good at so many things. It's frustrating and impressive at the same time. How was Donghyuck meant to compete with that?

"I guess you're good at bargaining, president." Jungmin smirked before walking over to Donghyuck and dropping his box of cigarettes in Mark's bag, "As expected from a top business student like you."

Jungmin looked back at Mark once, told the others to follow, winked at Donghyuck and left, hopefully heading back to the detention classroom.

The others dropped their _substances_ in Mark's bag and left, some even quietly muttering an apology.

Mark walked up to Donghyuck wordlessly, zipped up his bag, threw it over his shoulder and left, not caring if the younger followed or not.

He looked... disappointed, as if, by now, he expected Donghyuck to have learnt all the tricks when it came to dealing with students.

Mark looked annoyed and disappointed.

And, for some reason, Donghyuck thought that it wasn't only the detention students he was disappointed in.

**dumbfuck president:**  
don't come over tonight.  
i'm not in the mood.

Donghyuck sighed and slipped off his shoes, backing away from the door that he was about to leave through to head to Mark's house as usual.

What did he expect anyway? Donghyuck failed to complete a simple task of supervising a small class of students for only an hour- and he couldn't even do it.

He probably should've taken up the duty more last year, at least then he wouldn't be as inexperienced as Mark or other people the president trusted to take up the responsibility on the committee.

For once, Donghyuck truly did feel useless.

**me:**  
ok  
i'm sorry.  
_[read 20:57]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed !!
> 
> i'll post another chapter a little later so you guys can get a double update today coz i forgot to post yesterday (whoops) hehehe~


	6. four

"Hey guys!" Jeno's cheery voice was very much not welcomed on a Monday morning, but Donghyuck managed a smile and greeted the other anyway.

"Hey babe~" Jeno leaned down and pecked Renjun's cheek softly before sitting down next to the small boy.

Hahahaha.... _what_ -

"WHAT?!" Donghyuck almost knocked over his water bottle from the suddenness as he jolted up from his seat, "WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! NO... WHAT???!!!"

"Hyuck... calm down-" Renjun tried to pull Donghyuck's arm to get him to sit down, but the latter was too busy throwing a fit.

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?! HUANG RENJUN YOU TRIATOR- ow!" Donghyuck's words got cut off when he felt something hit the back of his head.

He turned around to find a scrunched up ball of paper beside his foot. He trailed his eyes up to the table next to him and snarled at the sight of a sleepy Mark gritting his teeth at him.

"Can you please shut up for once? It's a fucking Monday morning and you're screaming like an idiot." Mark seethed.

Donghyuck simply picked up the ball of scrunched up paper and threw it back at Mark forcefully. But, being at a disadvantage due to his lack of basketball skills, which the other clearly had, the ball of paper only managed to land on the floor by Mark's foot.

Mark only rolled his eyes, picked up the ball of paper, and threw it across the entire cafeteria until it landed in the bin. Lucas, who was sitting beside him, slapped him on the back and cheered, but Mark looked unbothered and focused back on his food.

Donghyuck had to mentally smack himself to rid him of the thoughts relating to how hot Mark is and how cool that shot was. 

Mark is _not_ cool and he is most definitely _not_ hot.

He sat back down on his seat and glared at Renjun and Jeno.

"What is this?" he pointed between them, as if he was talking about the imaginary string that suddenly connected the two together.

"We were going to tell you later, but I guess now will do as well." Jeno shrugged before throwing an arm around Renjun's shoulder and bringing him close, "We're dating."

Donghyuck looked over at Renjun to try and get some clarification, hoping that the other would say that it was just a joke. But he did not get that.

"Y-yeah... we confessed yesterday." Renjun smiled, his cheeks blushing brightly.

"I see..." Donghyuck hummed before looking down at his food discreetly. He then shot Jaemin a subtle glance, noticing how the latter had been quiet the entire time. "Nana! Why didn't you tell me?? You and Jeno are roommates! Why do I have to be the last one to know~~" he pouted, trying to get Jaemin's attention in a cute way so the other would cheer up.

"W-what?" Jaemin snapped out of whatever silent trance he was in and looked at Donghyuck with a small smile, "Sorry, Hyuckie~ slipped out of my mind. Plus, they should've told you instead!"

Donghyuck didn't buy it for a second, but Jaemin shifted closer to him and cuddled up against him and Donghyuck was never one to say no to cuddles, especially if they were coming from Jaemin. Instead, he didn't pry any more and hugged Jaemin back tightly.

"Congrats, guys." Donghyuck beamed at them supportively, "You two look cute together!"

Renjun and Jeno looked at them appreciatively when Jaemin nodded in agreement.

Donghyuck had been the one to encourage Renjun to confess, but now that Jeno and Renjun were actually boyfriends... he couldn't help but regret giving such advice. Especially after seeing Jaemin look so rejected, even if no one but him seemed to notice.

When they were going to lessons, Donghyuck pulled Renjun to the side and confronted him properly, in case he might get a different answer now that they were away from the others.

"Hyuckie, I confessed to Jeno and he said he likes me too. I swear I would've told you sooner, but we only got together yesterday and I didn't have time to tell you last night." Renjun does not pout. Nor does he try to act cute to get what he wants. So Donghyuck couldn't believe the almighty Huang Renjun was _pouting_ in front of him right now. 

_Yeah... something's definitely off._

"Oh... ok then. If that's how it went down." Donghyuck reluctantly accepted the new piece of information, shuddering at the fact that he just witnessed Renjun acting cute. "Let's go to class."

Maybe he'll bring it up to Jaemin later and see what he thinks.

"But why didn't he tell me that he was going to confess?"

"Donghyuck, this is-"

"I mean, we're best friends! I consider him as my soulmate for life! The moment we set eyes on each other... there was a connection! Why would he betray _meeeeee_??!"

"We're in a-"

"Who's he trying to make jealous, here? Me or Jaemin? 'Cause it's working for one us-"

"DONGHYUCK SHUT UP FOR FUCKS SAKE WE'RE IN A GODDAMN MEETING!" Mark shouted, anger pouring out in his tone as he glared fiery holes into Donghyuck's head from the other side of the meeting table.

Donghyuck turned around to look at Mark once, stared him up and down and then turned back around to talk to Joohyun, a girl on the student council committee he was currently discussing his problems with while Mark was talking about some charity event that Donghyuck usually would be interested in, but was too invested in his current dilemma to pay attention to.

"So, what do you think I-"

"Ok, meeting's over. Everyone get out." Mark threw his booklet of papers onto his desk with little care and turned around so his back was facing the long meeting table the committee were sitting at. 

No one said another word, fearful of Mark's outburst and not wanting to anger the president even more. They all packed their stuff up and silently filed out of the door.

Donghyuck was about to do the same, but before he could, Mark stopped him with a few words.

"Lock the door." he ordered with a harsh voice, so harsh that Donghyuck felt the words like daggers against his skin.

"W-what?" Donghyuck laughed nervously, hoping that he just heard incorrectly.

"I won't repeat myself. You heard me." Mark didn't turn around to look at the younger even once.

With a quiet gulp, Donghyuck locked the student council room door and walked back over to the table silently.

"You're really infuriating... you know that right?" Mark started, turning around slowly and Donghyuck felt his breathing pick up in pace when he saw how silently pissed off Mark looked.

His eyes widened when Mark walked over to him and pulled at his arm until his back was pushed against the table.

"I think I was too nice before." Mark pursed his lips tightly, nodding at his own words, "Yeah... I was too nice to you. For a year, I've put up with your crap and let you mess around, leaving me to clean up after you. I don't know why you wanted to be on the committee when you should know that just doing the paperwork won't get you anywhere."

Donghyuck shuddered at the cold words. Mark had been _nice_ to him this entire time? Was that... _nice_? Really? 

"I didn't think I'd have to resort to this. I thought you'd fix yourself by second year. But, you clearly haven't." Mark sighed in faux disappointment, "I guess I have no other choice."

'Please let there be another choice, please let there be another choice.' Donghyuck mentally prayed, fearing for his life. This situation seemed all too familiar, but this time, they weren't in the bathroom and Donghyuck knew exactly who Mark was.

This wasn't like last year when they had their first proper encounter.

This time, Donghyuck noticed how Mark looked almost... _merciless_.

"A-and what's that?" Donghyuck asked hesitantly.

Mark only smirked, mirth circling in his eyes as his pupils looked as if they had darkened to a whole new shade of black.

"You know the drill." Mark assured, "Strip and then you'll find out."

Donghyuck's eyes blew open even wider that it almost looked comical. Was Mark seriously planning on doing it here? They've never done it outside either of their dorm rooms and, now, Mark's house.

Getting fucked in school... while classes were still going on and teachers were probably out in the halls.

_Shit._

"Wow... does it excite you _that_ much?" Mark chuckled darkly, glancing down between their bodies. Donghyuck could feel the embarrassment surface his skin as his face flushed deeply.

Why did he have to get hard now?! Was he seriously aroused by Mark's words? Was he _that_ turned on at the thought of Mark fucking him in school?

"P-please..." he muttered worthlessly, looking at Mark in desperation as he cautiously ringed his arms around the older's neck, hoping to bring them closer.

"And now you beg?" Mark laughed, he was enjoying this way too much, "Just a while ago you were busy chatting about your life in the middle of our meeting, not paying any attention to what I was saying... and _now_ you beg? _Now_ you're preparing to listen?"

"O-ok! Ok! I'm sorry! I'll listen, I'll listen!" Donghyuck pulled Mark closer, rubbing himself on the older, internally proud when he felt Mark grow hard as well.

"If we're doing this here, you listen to everything I say. Nothing changes. Don't get too cocky just because I'm willing to fuck you in the very room the entire committee have meetings in... on this very _table_."

"M-Mark hyung! Please!" Donghyuck cried out, Mark was saying too much, talking too lowly in that hot voice of his. Donghyuck didn't know how much longer he could stand just listening to the things Mark wanted to do... but not actually doing them.

"Tell me you'll listen to everything I say first." Mark hissed, spite evident in his tone and if Donghyuck wasn't so aroused, he probably would've cried at the meanness in Mark's voice.

"Y-yes. Yes! I'll listen to everything you say! I swear!" Donghyuck rambled, tears already forming in the corner of his eyes due to the uncared for friction between their lower regions. He clung onto Mark like his life depended on it and moved around as much as he could.

"Good." Mark detached himself from Donghyuck and ignored the pathetic cries the latter released at the loss, "Bend over."

_Holy shit._

Donghyuck has never heard that. He's never heard that the entire time he and Mark have been fucking around. Usually, they both strip and waste no time. But, Mark was commanding him, ordering him to do things. It was twice as painful since Donghyuck recently realised that he enjoyed hearing Mark's voice more than he would like to admit.

Before Mark could snap at him for disobeying orders, Donghyuck turned around, hands pressed flat on the long table he and the other student council members were sitting at only moments ago. The thought should make him feel disgusted and humiliated, but he couldn't find himself to feel any shame.

He just wanted Mark to fuck him hard and that was it. He didn't want anything else at all. And he knew Mark would do just that.

But, as soon as he felt Mark tease, he was on the verge of losing his mind.

"M-Mark hyung... hurry... please!" Donghyuck pleaded, feeling the tip of Mark's length at his entrance, only pushing in slightly and then pulling out again.

"Why the rush? You scared someone's gonna walk in on us? We've locked the door and everything... but you're still worried?" Mark smirked, even though Donghyuck couldn't see, he still knew. "You'd probably like that. You'd probably want someone to walk in and see you getting wrecked by me. Cute, little, vice president getting ruined, shamelessly bent over the table like a _slut_."

The words buzzed through Donghyuck's entire body like an electric shock. He wanted to hear more of it. He wanted to hear more of Mark talking dirty and calling him names. He didn't understand why he was so affected by everything Mark did.

Mark is just... so good at everything.

How many times has he said that already? Probably a lot.

Donghyuck thinks he and Mark wasted a year of being fuckbuddies. They could've been having sex like this so much sooner. Donghyuck wished Mark would've called him a slut so much sooner because that's exactly what he feels like.

Donghyuck is a complete and utter _slut_ for Mark Lee.

What can he do about it?

And... wait- did Mark just call him cute?


	7. five

Donghyuck has a new life mission.

After a ground-breaking (and ass-wrecking) discovery; Donghyuck is determined to rile Mark up as _much_ as possible. If annoying Mark was his previous life mission, his new one is to make Mark so, _so angry_ that he'll explode (in more ways than one).

The activities they did in the student council room hadn't left his mind for days after, Donghyuck could _feel_ it days after. Mark had been hard on him some times before, but that day was a complete _dream_. And Donghyuck wanted to re-live it as much as he could.

Even if that meant enduring Mark's pissed off mood and him snapping more frequently.

It also gave Donghyuck an escape.

Lately, he's been thinking a lot. More specifically, he's been thinking a lot about... _Mark_.

For some reason that he can't seem to figure out, Mark is always on his mind and Donghyuck is slowly getting more and more frustrated that he can't seem to think of anyone or anything else _but_ him.

It's annoying and stupid and there's no science or reasoning behind it. Why does he keep thinking of Mark when Mark is his mortal enemy for life?

The very person who stole his spot as president, stole his virginity, stole his pride and his respect.

_And his heart._

NO.

Mark doesn't deserve that. Donghyuck already gave him so much already. He's not willing enough to throw something as precious as his feelings away for someone like Mark Lee. 

Mark is insensitive and cruel and doesn't care about anyone's feelings. If he gets the body, then that's all that matters.

So, Donghyuck is certain, the only feelings he has for Mark are of pure lust and physicality. Donghyuck only wants Mark for sex and that's it. Why would he want Mark for anything else when that sentiment went both ways?

Mark doesn't see him as a capable person who can do things by himself. In Mark's perspective, Donghyuck is only on the student council committee because it's an easier access for him. Mark can just walk up to him without having to look around or text him to meet up. He can just carelessly walk up to Donghyuck and fuck him senseless without permission because he knows Donghyuck won't say anything.

To Mark, Donghyuck is _easy_.

And Donghyuck knows this very well. So, he has every right to treat Mark in the same way. Mark Lee may be the centre of all his sexual desires, his only when it came to all his sexual experiences; but he's nothing more than that. Donghyuck refuses Mark to be anything more than what he is now.

And that's final.

So, he does the most.

He makes sure that Mark hates him even more than he already does.

He continues to hand in work right on the deadline, so Mark has to wait longer to check them. He steals some of the pencils from Mark's desk and never gives them back. He continues to talk during meetings even when Mark tells him to shut up. He even buys the entire student council committee coffee, all except Mark of course.

And it works to _perfection_.

Exactly how he theorised it to work out.

Mark gets really, _really_ mad. He waits until no one is around and lashes out at Donghyuck, yelling, scolding, cursing at him and then fucks him hard afterwards, so, so _hard_. Hard to the point that sometimes, Donghyuck can't even breathe and has to beg Mark to slow down, even though the older doesn't listen at all and continues to do as he pleases.

Even if it physically hurts, Donghyuck loves it. He bathes in the way Mark hates him. The way he gets Mark's attention by riling him up until he blows and loses his cool. The way Donghyuck can see the side of Mark that isn't cold, relaxed and composed. The way Donghyuck can see how much of a _beast_ Mark could be when he's angry.

It's completely anger without passion, but Donghyuck isn't greedy enough to ask for both. He doesn't even know how to ask for both.

So he just sticks with what he has, takes it and leaves - just like Mark does.

Because when Mark finishes with him after their sessions, he treats everything as if it's normal, gives him work and assignments and talks to him like nothing happened between them the night before.

If Mark can act like that, Donghyuck can too.

"Hey, Jaemin!" Donghyuck waved the said boy over, noticing how the other was walking around in his lonesome.

"Hey, Hyuck." Jaemin greeted with a smile as he joined the tanned boy at their usual table.

Donghyuck thinks it's a little weird. Jaemin's smiling but, at the same time... he's really not.

"I still can't believe Renjun didn't tell me he was planning on confessing to Jeno." Donghyuck frowned, sneaking glances at Jaemin to see if he could get a reaction, "I mean, he told me about all the moves he would try to make on Jeno before he actually does them! Why so different this time?"

"Wow... Junnie must like Jeno a lot." Jaemin chuckled lowly and Donghyuck could only raise his eyebrow questioningly.

"Why? Does it bother you?" he started cautiously.

"Why would it bother me? I'm happy for them." Jaemin assured and, because its Jaemin, anyone would've believed his words since Jaemin is just that kind of person - he's so, so nice. But because it's Donghyuck hearing those words, he doesn't fall for it.

"Just say it." he sighed in disbelief, "You don't like them together. I know."

"W-what? What are you talking about, Hyuck?!" Jaemin protested, "We shouldn't be talking about our friends behind their backs!"

"Very righteous of you, Nana." Donghyuck chuckled, "But I'm not going to be fooled. I _know_ you. I know Renjun and I know you. What I don't know is what you two see in Jeno. I mean... seriously. _Jeno_."

"Hey! What's wrong with Jeno? Have you seen him? He's super cute and hot and kind and tries too hard to be funny, but doesn't know that he's funny naturally. He's also a really bad cook, but he loves it when I cook for him. And he doesn't like watching movies alone and he always reciprocates my cuddles, even though I know he doesn't like skinship. He has a really pretty smile, _oh_ the way his eyes light up! They're like little crescent moons and when he smiles, it's like a whole galaxy of stars! He's so perfect." Jaemin ended up rambling, drifting off in his thoughts, too busy thinking about Jeno to realise that Donghyuck was still very much there.

"Wow... nice to know, I guess?" Donghyuck coughed, trying to get Jaemin's attention back.

Jaemin must've also realised what he said and blushed a bright pink, suddenly looking a lot smaller for someone as tall as him.

"Don't tell him I said any of that." Jaemin looked at him with pleading eyes, "I think this is a wake up call for me. Jeno and Renjun are a thing now and they're made for each other. It's useless having a crush on him now."

"Hey... don't say that. You're acting as if they just got married and you're trying to forget the unrequited love you've had for the past ten years or something." Donghyuck joked, trying to lighten the mood. "It's not like all your chances have been lost."

"I guess..." Jaemin frowned, not convinced in the slightest.

"Look, I don't know how Jeno feels, but he likes you, he really does. You don't know how much you mean to him." Donghyuck tried to reassure him, "Don't lose hope yet."

"This is why you're a theatre student... you make everything so dramatic." Jaemin laughed and Donghyuck was instantly relieved that his friend was happy again.

"It's my specialty." the tanned boy shrugged before getting up from his seat and pulling out a stack of papers from his bag, "Anyway, as much as I want to spend more time with you, I've got to hand this in, otherwise Mark will throw me out of the student council committee forever."

"He can't do that! You're such a good vice president!" Jaemin gasped at the thought, he knew that many would agree with him in a heartbeat. Even the teachers, who had overseen the selection of student council members changing throughout the years, could agree that this rotation of student council president and vice was particularly good.

"Thanks, but Mark doesn't care about those things." Donghyuck rolled his eyes, diverting his gaze from Jaemin and trying to look elsewhere. Suddenly, his cheeks felt hot and his entire body warmed up. Was it because he was thinking of Mark now? Did thinking of Mark make him feel that way?

No. It can't.

"See you later!" he waved of quickly, not wanting to ponder on his thoughts any longer.

"Bye, Hyuck!"

With that, Donghyuck rushed out of the cafeteria and down the halls to where the student council room was.

Just before he reached the door, he pulled his phone out and opened the camera app, checking his appearance once as he fixed his hair and checked to make sure there was nothing on his face.

Once he was satisfied with his looks and received a few confirmations in the form of flirty remarks from other students that passed by, Donghyuck walked the last few remaining steps towards the student council room.

He put on his best smile and readied himself to greet Mark, since he knew the older spent most of his free time there when he wasn't on the basketball courts.

He pushed open the door with bated breath, wondering why he was suddenly so excited to see Mark.

But what he got was something he never thought he'd ever witness, despite knowing for so long.

Mark had a girl pushed up on the meeting table as they kissed ferociously, their clothes half discarded and hands running all over each other's bodies. He couldn't see Mark clearly due to the girl's frame, but judging by the sounds, he knew it was Mark.

He could recognise Mark's voice anywhere, _even_ if it was from the sounds he made when a girl touched him or kissed him like that.

Donghyuck could feel his heart drop down to his feet and shatter into a million pieces. He closed the door and felt the stacks of paper in his hand fall out of his grip and scatter all over the floor.

_What?_

_Who is she?_

Donghyuck didn't even realise that he had started crying in the middle of an empty hallway with no one to help him or cheer him up. He doesn't recognise it until the heavy tear drops that started collecting in his eyes fall to the ground like a pathetic waterfall, dropping one after the other until they all came crashing down and hitting the hard surface of the floor.

Donghyuck _knows._

He knows he's not the only one. 

He's not the only one Mark fucks around with or invites over to his house to mess with. He's not the first one to be pushed on a table like that and fucked on school grounds. He knows that Mark has had people in a position similar to him from a while back, probably even before he started going to this college. Mark was a desirable man; a suitor for many and a dream for even more.

Donghyuck felt like throwing up. His entire body felt weak and his chest felt empty, as if there wasn't a vessel left to pump the blood around his body, as if the very organ at the centre of it all was no longer in its rightful place, that his rib cage was just protecting emptiness, that all the muscles and veins in his body seized to serve their purpose and stop working overall.

Because Donghyuck has never had _that_. He swears on everything he has, all the time he wasted and every moment he shared with Mark. He swore on it all.

Because Mark never _kissed_ him like that.

Mark had never kissed him.

Not once during the entire time they had been fucking around, Mark _never_ kissed him. He never showed an ounce of affection or care. He never made sure if Donghyuck was ok, or if he was hurt or if he was in pain and needed to be looked after and treated with care. He never asked if he wanted to stop or if it was ok to keep going.

He never did any of that because Donghyuck never asked. 

He let Mark be merciless with his body and treat it as if it were his own; a body he could do whatever he wanted with.

Even a kiss, just _one_ kiss, would change everything for Donghyuck. Mark probably wouldn't think much of it - a kiss is a kiss and nothing more. But, if Mark kissed him, Donghyuck would know that maybe, just _maybe_ , Mark might care about him... just a little.

Donghyuck realised then that he was wrong. He was _wrong_ about everything.

He thought he had to ask to get passion. After he successfully attained Mark's anger, he thought he had to work harder to get his passion a well. 

But, after seeing just how passionate Mark was with others, Donghyuck realised that maybe Mark treated him differently because it was just _him_.

That Mark didn't show any care or any passion or ever kissed him because he truly did _hate_ Donghyuck. That there was no other emotion Mark felt for him but pure hatred. It wasn't even playful banter or casual teasing... Mark _actually_ hated him.

Mark only saw Donghyuck as a vessel to release his pent up anger and frustration on. Only that, that very anger and frustration which was caused by him in the first place. Everything he caused Mark, he was just getting it all back during sex. That all the anger he gave Mark was unleashed when Mark fucked him.

It was just a back and forth process. Donghyuck had no priority compared to other people Mark messed around with.

Mark... doesn't even like him.

He can't compare to others.

He can't get Mark's attention like they can.

He can't receive the same passion they do. He can't receive passion full stop.

This entire time, what has he even been doing?

He's been so, so stupid. This entire time, Donghyuck had been chasing Mark around, going as far as begging for sex and purposely getting him angry to get fucked more. All because the only thing he wanted from Mark was passion.

He wanted Mark's attention and passion.

He wanted Mark to constantly be near him, constantly arguing with him, constantly yelling and glaring at him, constantly telling him off for little things and trying to make him feel worthless.

He just wanted Mark to _look_ at him.

Realisation came in the form of a bullet through Donghyuck's already shamefully, broken heart as the tears kept falling uncontrollably for no one to see.

Everything he felt was so unwanted and unforgiveable. Donghyuck would never forgive himself now. Not after everything, after all this time, he will never forgive himself.

Because it took a year, many nights spent with Mark, between the sheets with him in the dark; a story of rivalry and their never-ending intolerance for each other to make Donghyuck realise that maybe... maybe he...

_Fuck._

He's in love with Mark Lee.

Suddenly, every materialistic excuse Donghyuck could find to explain what he felt towards Mark... didn't make sense anymore. There was still no science or proper reasoning behind anything... but there was no point in denying it either.

Donghyuck was in love with Mark.

The very boy who he had sworn to hate because of how much pain he had caused him. Every moment up until he had peaked through the student council room door and witnessed such a sight, every moment up until then... Donghyuck thought he hated Mark.

But it was all completely wrong.

Mark was the only one that hated him.

While Donghyuck was on the short end of the stick.

Because while Mark was having a good time hating Donghyuck.

Donghyuck was suffering from realisation that the boy he called his enemy, was the boy Donghyuck wanted to love and to be loved by... no matter how impossible it sounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed !!
> 
> I'll post another update later on :))))


	8. six

Ok.

Donghyuck has a new, _new_ life mission.

After much contemplation, getting wasted at parties, crying to himself in the comforts of his bed and arguing even more with the student council president.

Donghyuck found that there was no way around this.

He couldn't find a single reason to excuse the feelings he has for Mark.

He tried thinking that he only liked Mark because he wanted to take the role of president for himself - since it was, undeniably, the root of all his problems (position of student council president still belonged to him, for your information). But he quickly realised that wasn't the case. As much as he dreamed of being student council president, his sudden burst of feelings for Mark had nothing to do with that and he'd prefer _not_ to remind himself of all the reasons why Mark is just a good student council president. (We don't need that kind of conversation).

He then tried to convince himself that he only wanted Mark for the sex because, as much as he hated Mark and as much as the older will forever be his sworn enemy because of how amazing he is at literally everything and how naturally perfect he was; Mark fucks him really good and he didn't want to stop their arrangement any time soon. He'll definitely need that stress relief for later on in his college years.

That was the most plausible and convincing argument. To anyone else, that would be the only reason that could possibly explain his sudden attraction towards Mark Lee.

He only physically liked Mark and nothing more.

But, after seeing Mark with another girl in the student council room, kissing so passionately and probably doing more after that- Donghyuck couldn't help but feel that unwanted, green sliver of emotion.

_Jealousy._

He knew that Mark had plenty of flings here and there and a long list of contacts he could ring up. But, when he saw Mark with someone else that wasn't him, with his own two eyes, Donghyuck felt nothing but pure and utter jealousy.

It only made him want to occupy all of Mark's attention even more. If Mark was constantly looking at him, arguing with him, trying to push him away, he would be too busy for other people - all Mark's attention will be on him and only him.

And when Donghyuck realised that such a thought made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside and his heart would start to dance around in his chest as butterflies erupted in his stomach, he finally admitted it to himself that, somehow, he truly was in love with Mark Lee.

Now, the only question remaining is... what next?

What does Donghyuck do next? Should he act on his feelings and confess to Mark? Should he tell Mark that they should stop their arrangement and try being friends? Should he just forget his feelings all at once and move onto someone else?

After thinking about it for a while, Donghyuck concluded that the answer to every single one of those questions was a big, fat _no_.

He's not going to tell Mark his feelings because one: Mark hates him, and two: Mark actually fucking hates him. So, unless Donghyuck wants to get his heart broken again and suffer through the pain he felt when he walked in on Mark and that girl and live with the fact that Mark would probably never talk to him again, he's just going to keep his feelings to himself for the time being.

He also doesn't want to stop their arrangement because, right now, having sex was the only thing keeping Donghyuck close to Mark. Realistically, apart form student council related things, Mark had no means to talk to Donghyuck or call him for stuff. If they weren't fuckbuddies, Mark had no reason to know of Donghyuck's existence at all. So their arrangement was the only leverage Donghyuck had that he could use to keep seeing Mark.

And how could he forget his feelings so quickly when he only just realised he had them and doesn't want to think about how long he's had them for?! Mark Lee isn't someone you can move on from. Donghyuck physically couldn't understand how the people who confessed their love to Mark and had gotten cruelly rejected, recovered and found someone else. _How_ did they do that? Was that even possible? How does one just _move on_ from Mark Lee?!

It had gotten to the point where Donghyuck needed a whole Wikipedia article on Mark Lee because he just doesn't make any sense and there's so much about him that Donghyuck doesn't even know because Mark had never been the kind of person to open up to people who he didn't consider as a friend.

Mark doesn't even consider Donghyuck as a _friend_.

Fuck that.

Mark doesn't even consider Donghyuck as an actual person!

How could Donghyuck mean anything more to him when the only way Mark sees him is as a mental, emotional and physical punching bag used to release his pent up anger and frustration?

When Mark's angry at Donghyuck, he shows it through the way they fuck. When Mark's in a happy mood, he shows it through the way he insults Donghyuck with witty remarks and comebacks. When he's frustrated or annoyed, he curses at Donghyuck and blames him for everything and questions his usefulness; always telling him how worthless he is. When Mark's sad... well, Donghyuck has yet to see that. 

There's a whole colourful wheel of Mark's emotions and Donghyuck has each and every one of them pinned down; all except sadness. Sadness and _jealousy_. 

Donghyuck has never seen Mark get jealous over a person. If someone moved on from him, he never takes it to heart and really doesn't care. The looseness in the relationships Mark has prevents him from growing so attached that he would end up broken if a person ever left him.

Sadness and jealousy were the two emotions Mark has never felt with when he's with Donghyuck, so he has no clue what Mark does when he experiences them.

In conclusion; Donghyuck realised that he's been observing Mark for a long time, trying to evaluate in his head what the older's thinking, how he's feeling, if he's happy or angry or sad. And, for some reason, all of those emotions suddenly became important to him and he doesn't know _why_.

Why should Donghyuck care about how Mark's feeling when Mark has never paid attention to him in such a way?

Why is he wasting so much time in collecting information on Mark's moods if Mark has never cared if he was happy or sad or angry or hurt?

Donghyuck could feel all those things and Mark would never care.

Is he really so in love with Mark that he's willing to spend the rest of his college life worrying about these things? Is Mark worth all of that?

"If you've finished the conversation with the imaginary person in your head, your input on this meeting would be much appreciated, Donghyuck." a sarcastic voice snapped the said boy out of his gruelling thoughts.

Donghyuck jerked his head up, looking around to familiarise himself with his surroundings. He realised that he was in the student council room, sitting at the meeting table, with _Mark_ staring him down.

Suddenly, Donghyuck felt embarrassed. Looking at Mark now just felt wrong. Especially after all the time he'd spent contemplating and assessing his own thoughts and emotions. He worried that if he spent too much time thinking about Mark, his entire body would suddenly become transparent, letting the entire world see through him. Letting _Mark_ see through him.

He didn't want Mark to find out.

But, right now, he had more pressing matters at hand.

Donghyuck's didn't need to be an expert of Mark's emotions to know that the older was pissed at him.

_Again._

"S-sorry... what was the question?" Donghyuck didn't even remember what the initial discussion of the meeting was about.

He's been doing this way too often for Mark to keep letting it slide. 

'Fuck... I seriously need to pay attention more.' he cursed to himself.

"Wonbin-ssi, please just-" Mark cut his own words off to take off his glasses and pinch the bridge of his nose, evidently stressed from Donghyuck incompetence. "Please explain to the vice president what we're discussing."

Mark was not impressed.

"Y-yes, president." someone, Wonbin, stuttered, nodding at the request before turning to face Donghyuck and forcing back a blush once the vice smiled at him, "W-we're trying to generate ideas to get the students more involved with holding school events throughout the year."

"Ah, I see." Donghyuck nodded in understanding before grabbing a pen and opening his notebook, "We should just stick to a classic method of democracy- voting. We really don't do that enough around here. Everything just gets sent to the principal or one of the teachers that has to supervise it. If we want to get the students more involved, we have to ask for their opinion first. As soon as we, and the students, come up with a set of ideas for different events to hold, we should put them all online and have students vote for whichever they want to do."

"That's easily accessible, I admit, but also unfair." Mark countered, sitting back down on his seat and fixing on his glasses, "If everyone is involved in thinking of ideas, we'll have too many options to choose from and the results will end up being pretty slim with the top three or so options being only a few votes away from each other - just as an example. If that were the case, the group of people who voted for the second or third most voted-for option, would instantly lose interest and not bother participating in the option that obtained the most votes."

"In such a scenario, we should set limits for how many event ideas that can be submitted. Instead of one every person, it should be one every department or one every club, or even one every year; for the first years to fourth. That way, the options available will be significantly less and people will have less to choose from." Donghyuck scribbled some messy diagrams and odd words and showed it to Mark, who looked at it once and nodded.

"Ok, say for example, that works. There aren't many events that we hold that include all years collectively as a student body, majority of events separate everyone in year groups so the first and second years won't feel too overwhelmed when it comes to mixing with the third and fourth years." Mark reminded, "If we were to hold events such as these, would it be suitable for everyone?"

"This is exactly why everyone wanted events to be an optional thing, hyung." Donghyuck brought up a recurring dilemma their student council faced, but before Mark could wave him off, Donghyuck continued, "I know that if we leave events as optional, not many people would participate since they could just use the excuse that they didn't have to do it because it wasn't mandatory; but if the students get involved in creating ideas for events, more people will want to participate since, who wouldn't want to participate in something they helped think of and set up?"

Mark looked deep in thought as he noted the suggestion down and contemplated it for a while before coming to a decision.

"Ok, we'll try that. Since we want to get the students more involved as well, it's only natural that we're just experimenting with how this goes." Mark started off, "I want everyone to collect suggestions from each club or department and bring them to the next meeting. We'll create a poll, upload it on the school online magazine and get results from there. Don't forget, everything has to be verified through me first and if you're not sure about an idea, tell me and I'll make the call." 

Everyone seemed satisfied with the instructions and nodded enthusiastically. Unknowing to their president and vice, the rest of the committee wondered why the two hated each other so much when they worked so well together.

"That's everything. You can all leave now." Mark dismissed the committee, who gratefully packed up their stuff and left.

Donghyuck let out a sigh as he went over to his desk and grabbed an assignment he had left there yesterday, needing to hand it in as soon as he could before the deadline.

It wasn't anything new. Contrary to Mark's beliefs, Donghyuck was a good vice president and member of the student council committee, he was the brains behind many successful events from last year as well as the visual arts representative due to his theatre club leader status. It wasn't a shock even in the slightest if he could think up good, creative ideas and persuade Mark to let them be used. It was all down to skill and practise, in the end.

He just wanted Mark to see it too.

He wanted Mark to say he did well and tell him something like "good job" or "that was a good idea" or "thank you for not actually sleeping during the meeting this time." 

Just _something_. Anything from Mark at _all_.

"Oh, Donghyuck!" Mark called out to him, grabbing the younger's attention instantly. "I forgot to tell you something."

"Yes, Mark hyung?" Donghyuck put on a bright smile and prayed his cheeks weren't too red when Mark walked towards him.

"Here." Mark shoved a stack of papers into his hands and Donghyuck felt the weight of the load pull his body downwards, barely being able to lift up the heavy pile, "These need to be photocopied. Do that, staple the booklets and bring them back here."

"B-but-" Donghyuck was about to protest, upset when he didn't hear the words he was hoping to hear.

"Great. I'm gonna get going now." Mark stated before taking his bag and leaving through the door, "See you."

Donghyuck couldn't even get to say anything in response when the door slammed shut. 

Mark notices him all the time... but never in the way that he wants.

Donghyuck dragged his feet down the corridor until he reached his dorm room door. He rested his head against the wooden frame and tried hard not to bash out all his last few brain cells as he shoved his key through the lock and opened the door.

Mark really had no mercy on him when it came to paperwork. He had no mercy on him when it came to a lot of things, actually.

After finishing everything up in the student council room, Donghyuck realised it was far too late to actually be an actively functioning human being, so his plans of going straight to bed to get some much needed shut eye suddenly sounded more appealing than it has ever done before.

But, his ventures were cut short when he heard quiet sniffling sounds coming from Renjun's room. With worry filling his chest, Donghyuck quickly rushed over and barged through the door, only to be greeted with the sight of Renjun burying his face in his knees and crying softly.

"Renjun?" he called out quietly before moving over to the bed and embracing the other boy. "Junnie... what's wrong?"

Renjun tried to control his crying to maintain at only a few quiet sobs before looking at Donghyuck with red, watery eyes. Donghyuck felt a weight pull at his heart at the sight; seeing Renjun so sad wasn't something he was used to, and he hated seeing it every time he did.

"J-Jeno and I..." he started hesitantly, "... we kissed."

"What? That's a good thing though? Didn't you two kiss when you confessed?"

Renjun simply shook his head in response, denying the idea.

"N-no... this was our first kiss."

"Did you not like it or something? Did it make you realise that you don't actually want to be with Jeno?" Donghyuck enquired, trying to figure out what about the situation made Renjun upset.

"No, it just made me realise that I'm leading myself on." 

Donghyuck knitted his eyebrows together in confusion at Renjun's words. He really couldn't understand what Renjun was trying to say.

After a few moments of silence, Renjun let out a small, defeated sigh before turning to face Donghyuck with a crooked, forced smile.

"Jeno and I aren't actually dating."


	9. seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!! NCT 2020 IS COMING EVERYONE EVACUATE THIS EARTH !!!!!
> 
> THIS IS NOT A DRILL! NCT OT21, NCT 2020, 127, DREAM, WAYV.... THE WHOLE GANG IS COMIINNGGGGGGG!!!!!!
> 
> HNLWIUDSIHLMDFSJNDFKEIHWUJRFNDSXHUWEBJNSLIDCAXWHSUBDCJNWHFRJBNDRWEAJHSDJXILUHBREJISDAWH
> 
> *dies*

"Jeno and I aren't actually dating."

No words were exchanged for a long period of time and Donghyuck couldn't physically wrap his head around what he was hearing.

"Wait... _what_?!" he practically breathed out. Everything was happening way too suddenly for his non-functioning brain to actually process.

"Yeah... we're not really dating." Renjun admitted, "We're just faking it so Jeno can find out whether Jaemin has feelings for him or not." he said it so casually, as if the bitterness and remorse in his tone wasn't pouring out with his words.

"What? Seriously? I mean... I did think it was a little sudden... but- are you for real?" Donghyuck questioned, not being able to comprehend the new information. His brain was currently working twice the power it was used to working at this late at night, just to fully understand what he was hearing. 

"Yeah, and I already know what you're going to say... it's stupid and I'm only going to get hurt in the end. But don't blame Jeno for it, I said yes way too willingly because I thought that just being with Jeno and doing things couples would do was enough for me... even if it was fake." Renjun had a crooked smile on his lips and if Donghyuck didn't know his best friend like the back of his hand, he would've been incredibly concerned.

"Renjun..." Donghyuck frowned. As much as he wanted to hate Jeno for doing this and putting Renjun in such a position, he could see some truth behind the Chinese boy's words and the fault could really go both ways. But that didn't stop Donghyuck from wanting to make sure Renjun was as happy as he could be. "You don't need him, Junnie, you'll find someone better."

"I know I will. I'll fix it, don't worry..." Renjun smiled and, after a long time, Donghyuck could finally tell that the smile was genuine and hopeful, but he still wasn't entirely convinced. He knew what Renjun meant by that. The way Renjun tended to "fix" things was by ignoring them entirely. Donghyuck didn't know how to break it to him that such a coping mechanism was not good for one's health.

A dreadful silence consumed them and neither of the two liked it one bit. It was completely unnatural for their dynamic - they never liked silence. Everything about their relationship was carefree and playful, their sensitive natures completely disappearing when they were with each other.

But the way Renjun decided to corrupt that silence was _very_ uncalled for. Very uncalled for, and very, _very_ terrifying.

"Now! What's with you and Mark?" he asked, as if it was the most casual thing to say after he himself had just voiced out his own problems.

"W-WHAT?!" Donghyuck spluttered, not expecting such a sudden question. He was too tired and his poor heart couldn't deal with such straight-forwardness so late at night when he wanted nothing more than to sleep his problems away. Why were they suddenly changing the subject now?! "W-what do you m-mean?!"

"Don't act dumb." Renjun glared and Donghyuck could only shudder at the intensity of the older's gaze, unable to deal with the amount of fluctuation when it came to his moods, "I have been... _observing_. You've been _staring_ at Mark, and not like in your usual 'I want to kill him' sort of way, more like in the 'I want to kill him, but I wouldn't mind sleeping with him either'."

"Oh my _god_ , Junnie... what the fuck?!" Donghyuck could feel his face burn in embarrassment. Why was Renjun being so straight-to-the-point?! Let him live!

"Just tell me. There's something going on, right? Tell meeee" Renjun whined, "I need to emotionally relate to someone."

Donghyuck let out a huff, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he contemplated telling Renjun about the arrangement he and Mark had. Mark told him not to tell anyone when they started meeting up more regularly, Donghyuck never asked why, he just silently agreed... like he did with most things Mark made him do.

"We're friends-" Donghyuck started oof reluctantly, but Renjun cut him off before he finished.

"Oh... that's nice."

"-with benefits."

"OH-"

"It gets worse." Donghyuck admitted, suddenly looking shy.

"How could it possibly get worse than that?!" Renjun stared at him in disbelief of what he was currently having to endure hearing.

"I think I... _like_ him."

"Oh my fuck- I-... how long have you been doing this?" Renjun practically threw himself against the wall, mentally praying to whatever deity above that would listen, that whatever the other was saying was just a big joke.

"... a year." Donghyuck made himself even smaller than he already was, fearing Renjun's reaction.

"HOLY SHIT DONGHYUCK WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO?!" the other practically screamed.

"To be more precise, we're friends with benefits... but minus the friends part." Donghyuck felt the need to clarify that small detail.

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING BETTER!" Renjun was full on shaking Donghyuck by his shoulders, thinking that if he shook the other hard enough, the brunette would regain his fucking senses and use his brain for once.

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT IT WOULD! NOTHING ABOUT MY ENTIRE SITUATION COULD BE SEEN AS GOOD ANYWAY!" Donghyuck cried out in response.

A loud banging sound on the wall startled the two boys in shock.

"Hey! Can you stop screaming?! Some of us are trying to sleep!" a muffled voice echoed from the other side of the wall, emphasising their annoyance.

"Whoops." Donghyuck chuckled, trying to ease the tension, but Renjun did _not_ look amused.

"Yeah, a big _whoops_ , if you ask me." Renjun crossed his arms, clearly not referring to the noise complaint they just got, before muttering quietly under his breath, "That explains why you always came back limping..."

"I didn't know it would turn out like this... I swear!" Donghyuck defended himself.

"Are you sure you even like him? I mean... you've been fucking for over a year now, maybe you only like him for the sex?" a part of Renjun really didn't want to believe Donghyuck's words. There was no way. 

There was no possible way Donghyuck could have feelings for someone like Mark Lee. They hate each other. They're sworn enemies. What was Donghyuck even thinking?!

"Trust me, I've tried thinking that way too. I've tried thinking up all possible excuses to explain the feelings I have for Mark. But I've got nothing. Absolutely nothing." Donghyuck sighed, sagging his shoulder in defeat and that was enough for Renjun to finally understand.

Donghyuck has already thought about it.

He's already spent a lot of time counselling his emotions.

Donghyuck's feelings for Mark... they're actually real.

Suddenly, Donghyuck got up and left Renjun's room and went into his own. He grabbed the chalkboard off the wall and brought it back to the other's room.

"What are you doing?" Renjun questioned once he saw the chalkboard in the other's hands.

Donghyuck didn't answer, instead, with a few furious swipes, he wiped everything off the board, rubbing off all his goals that he planned on achieving throughout the course of four years of college.

"W-wait! Hyuck! Why did you do that?!" Renjun tried to grab the now dusty board off the younger, but Donghyuck flung into to the other side of the room before he could, letting the small wooden frame hit the wall and clatter on the floor.

"I don't need it anymore. The first three goals were important, and I've lost all three of them before my first year properly even started." Donghyuck pressed his lips together tightly, feeling tears collect in the corner of his eyes, "Maybe I could've gotten over the whole 'not being president' thing and the one about getting a boyfriend... but, after that _night_ when I ended up losing something I kept sacred for a long time, everything else felt useless. There was no point in accomplishing any other goal when two of my most important ones were just taken away from me like that." To this day, Donghyuck couldn't get the memory of that night out of his head. It had been over a year, and every moment was still vivid in his mind.

"Oh, Hyuck... is that why you were crying that day when you came back to the dorm?" Renjun questioned, solemnness evident in his tone as he thought back to the day Donghyuck drenched Mark with pasta and ended up getting dragged off by the older. And then Donghyuck spurting out a shitty excuse, leaving the dorm, only to come back limping an hour later. Suddenly, Renjun felt something similar to fear and worry infiltrate his body. A sickening feeling rose up his throat and his mind went completely elsewhere. "Oh my god, Hyuck... did he ra-"

"NO! Oh my fuck... No! No... I... I consented and everything. If it was anyone else, I probably would've screamed and cried a lot more. But it was Mark... and it was my first time." Donghyuck quickly denied, feeling his heartbeat quickening. He didn't want Renjun to have that sort of impression of Mark. He didn't want anyone to think such things of Mark at all. "I didn't know what to do but I didn't necessarily... _mind_?"

"Hyuck, you came back crying... it was obvious you didn't want it nor did you like it. Hyuckie... this is serious." Renjun tried to console him, even though at the back of his mind, he wanted to walk up to Mark Lee and punch him square in the jaw. "Technically, he harassed you."

"No! Junnie stop!" Donghyuck let a few tears slip out as he waved his hands rapidly in furious and desperate denial, "Mark's an idiot who has no feelings and no heart... but he would never do that. I wasn't upset because I lost my first time to him, I was upset because I realised it was only a one night stand and that a person as amazing and as smart and as handsome as him would never want anything to do with me. God, Junnie... you don't understand. Mark is... Mark's different. He's so different from anything I've ever felt for another guy." Donghyuck couldn't even describe whatever he felt for Mark to himself... how could he explain it to others?

"That's because you've tied yourself down to him and not tried going out with other people." Renjun sighed in disappointment, "You're getting your hopes up, thinking that Mark might suddenly recognise his feelings and confess to you because you're a good fuck for him. He won't do that. You know better than anyone else that Mark won't do that. You're loyal and faithful to him for no reason."

The words must've struck some sort of trigger in Donghyuck's mind and probably his heart too because, suddenly, he burst out crying, choked sobs escaping through his lips as tears trickled down his cheeks in streams of sadness.

They're not supposed to be faithful to each other. The way Mark shamelessly did such things with that girl in the student council room just shows how they're not tied down to each other in any way. Donghyuck can go out with anyone, he can kiss anyone, have sex with anyone, and nothing will change between him and Mark.

Nothing about their relationship required loyalty and trust.

Their arrangement was set up so that if Mark fucks with someone else, Donghyuck wouldn't be affected by it at all, and that was supposed to go both ways.

It was practically written in the non-existent contract they both signed when they spent their second night together. They continued doing this for a year and the entire time, Donghyuck knew Mark fucked with other people. He _knew_.

So what was he expecting?

Nothing changes. He and Mark still fuck around. 

It shouldn't matter.

But, somehow, it really matters to Donghyuck. To the point where it kills him inside. 

It hurts knowing that they were never anything official in the first place and that he's been drowning himself in the illusions that suggested he was the only one Mark slept with, that he was the only one Mark paid attention to. In the end, Donghyuck really had fooled himself.

He was a dog. A loyal dog to their owner who was scared of being taken off their leash and be allowed to run free. He was scared that if Mark let him go, they wouldn't see each other as much as they did now. They wouldn't talk to each other as much as they did now. Mark wouldn't try to make him angry or insult him anymore. Mark wouldn't even need to look his way.

Donghyuck would lose the only amount of faithfulness they had for each other.

He doesn't want that.

"Renjunnie..." he started off quietly, burying his tear-stricken face into the warmth of the older's neck.

"Hm?" Renjun hummed, patting the younger's hair soothingly, guilty for making the younger reveal his emotions like that.

"I-I r-really like him. I w-want to be with h-him all the time. I've tried, Junnie... I've tried so hard to work around these feelings and play them off for something only physical. But nothing's working. I'm so blinded by everything related to Mark Lee and I don't understand why. Why do I like everything about him? What does he have that others don't? Why am I so faithful to him when he doesn't give a single fuck about the hearts he's breaking when he messes with other people? I can do that to! I can mess around to! I could do all of it!" Donghyuck whimpered, trying to lash out his anger but failing when his voice kept cracking, "Fuck... I even tried to make him hate me more. I tried to make him angrier so he would treat me harder. So that he'll only be paying attention to me and no one else. What am I even doing?"

"Wow... you really _are_ in love with him. How ironic; the student council president and vice president, biggest rivals in the entire school, sleeping with each other behind everyone's backs and now? Now they've fallen in love." Renjun joked, bitterness and anger dripping in his voice.

"Correction, one of them has." Donghyuck wiped at his eyes, feeling them grow even more tired due to the sleepiness and from how much he had been crying.

Donghyuck pulled away from Renjun's embrace and stared off into the distance before letting out a disbelieving laugh, finding his own feelings and tears pathetic.

"I hate him." he chuckled humourlessly, "I hate him so much. I hate that I love him."

"That makes the two of us." Renjun sighed, leaning back against the wall, wrapping a blanket over both their bodies, "Fake relationships, enemies with benefits... how much more cliché could this get?"

"I don't know." Donghyuck laughed dryly.

They huddled together, probably intending on cuddling until they fall asleep to make themselves feel better, wondering if a blanket and the warmth of their bodies could amend their broken hearts.

"Renjun?"

"Hm?"

"We're really dumb."

...

"Yeah... we really are."

"Ok, maybe I was being too depressing because of my whole Jeno problem." Renjun started off as he and Donghyuck made their way to the cafeteria the next morning, "Who knows? Maybe Mark actually likes you but he's really bad at showing it? He's probably just in denial like you had been for the past year."

"Did you know that people can show a lot of affection through the way they kiss?" Donghyuck indirectly responded to Renjun's statement, "Mark had no problem kissing the life out of that girl... but he's never kissed me. No even a small peck on the lips. Come to think of it, he never gives me hickeys either. Not a single person knows that we're fuckbuddies; he even told me not to tell anyone! Why would Mark suddenly have feelings for someone he doesn't want people to know he's messing with?!" Donghyuck groaned in irritation before sagging his shoulders and side-glancing at Renjun, "Well... at least _you_ know."

"Mhmm... I'm honoured." Renjun joked, "Being the first person to know about how much you love Mark Lee-"

"You what?" a familiar voice interrupted the two.

Both Donghyuck and Renjun froze on the spot before turning around to face a very perplexed looking Na Jaemin.

"And there goes the second person to know..." Donghyuck sighed regrettably, thinking that the entire school might as well know at this rate. What was even the point in keeping secrets?

"Wait, you're in love with Mar- mphf" Donghyuck smacked a hand over Jaemin's mouth to prevent the latter from saying any more once they gathered the attention of almost everyone in the cafeteria when they sat down.

"Don't just announce it to the entire world!" Donghyuck hissed at him, earning an apologetic smile for the other.

"Have you been crying?" Jaemin questioned worriedly after seeing the bags under the tanned boy's eyes as well as the red puffiness at the corners.

"It's nothing, don't worry..." Donghyuck forced up a smile.

Jaemin didn't seem convinced as he pulled Donghyuck to sit down on a chair before rummaging through his bag and pulling out a small tube of cream.

"Don't worry, I'll cover it up for you." Jaemin assured, leaning in to dab cream at the corners of the latter's eyes, "If this is about Mark- we can't have him see you all upset."

"You're taking this surprisingly well." Renjun inputted, bewildered by the fact that he himself was an emotional mess when Donghyuck told him, but Jaemin was just... taking it in his stride.

_That was such a Na Jaemin thing to do._

"I mean... it explains why Hyuck kept making excuses to leave whenever we hang out. Damn... does he fuck you so good that you'd rather him over us?" Jaemin smirked knowingly.

Donghyuck's eyes blew open and Renjun choked on the bottle of water he had been drinking from, not expecting that in the slightest.

"W-what?! I- h-how did you know?" Donghyuck stuttered, his cheeks flushing a whole new shade of red. He could swear on his life that his friends were out to give him a heart attack with their straight-forward natures.

"You're not very subtle with your glances." Jaemin shrugged with a laugh, "The way you look at him practically screams 'fuck me here'."

"Please kill me now." Donghyuck groaned, lolling his head back in embarrassment, only for Jaemin to pull him forwards again so he could fix up the concealer on his eyes. He thought that Jaemin was having way too much fun tormenting him with his emotions.

And, just when Donghyuck didn't think this day could get any worse, a very, _very_ unwanted comment from a very, _very_ unwanted person had to ruin his morning even more than it already had been.

"No amount of make up could cover up your ugliness... you know that right?" Mark smirked at him as he walked by after noticing the way Jaemin was putting some sort of cosmetic on the tanned boy's eyes.

"That's big coming from you, four-eyes." Donghyuck snapped back. He would like to keep the fact that he thinks Mark looks incredibly hot in glasses to himself, thank you very much.

"There has literally never been anything wrong with being visually impaired." Mark retorted.

"I'm going to give you a moment to figure out everything _wrong_ with what you just said." Donghyuck crossed his arms and looked at him boringly.

Mark moved his eyes around as if he was searching for an answer to physically come up to him.

"Shut up." he ended up saying with a huff, before turning around and walking off to his table.

Donghyuck let his eyes follow Mark's figure as the older walked off. A smile forming on his lips- 'he's so cute when he loses an argument.'

"Oh my god... you're so whipped." Jaemin sighed next to him, earning a glare from the tanned boy, despite his flushed cheeks. Jaemin then turned to Renjun and asked, "Why do you look as if you've also been crying, Junnie?" he started rummaging through his bag before pulling out a lighter shade of concealer. Only Na Jaemin has different tones of concealer for his friends.

"W-what? I haven't!" Renjun quickly denied, nervousness evident in his tone.

"I thought we already established that you can't fool me?" Jaemin raised a brow, swiping a soft thumb under Renjun's eyes to clear the puffiness.

"I swear! I was just uhhh-" Renjun looked around desperately for an excuse.

"-he was being me emotional support friend." Donghyuck chimed in, knowing well how difficult Renjun's situation was when it came to Jaemin, "I was literally bawling my eyes out... I must've affected him as well."

"Oh..." Jaemin frowned, not liking the idea of his two friends being upset in any way, "Tell me everything... I'm listening."

Donghyuck smiled at him gratefully and wondered what he did to deserve a Na Jaemin in his life. He really wished Jeno wasn't such an idiot and would get his shit together so he could make Jaemin happy again. 

Deciding that he didn't want to hide it from his closest friends, he summarised his words and tried to explain his feelings for Mark, willing himself not to cry all over again so he wouldn't ruin Jaemin's efforts with his make-up.

He watched carefully when Jaemin's face twisted in a string of different emotions; happy, sad, angry... he was _really_ angry.

"Who the fuck does Mark Lee think he is?!" Jaemin yelled before turning around to find Mark sitting at his table with his friends, laughing happily, "Look at that piece of shit being all happy and smiley while you're upset! The sheer audacity of our so-called president! President my ass! The only think he's the president of is 'being the biggest dick on the entire planet' club!"

Angry Na Jaemin was a force to be reckoned with.

"I mean... he does have a big dic-" Donghyuck felt the need to interject (again).

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." Renjun cut him off immediately, pointing an accusatory finger at him while Donghyuck simply threw his hands up in surrender.

"I don't care if he's a sex god! As soon as I get my hands on him, I'm going to kill-" Jaemin continued, the unnaturally angry side of his character coming to light.

"Who are we killing?" a clueless voice entered the conversation and, at this point, Donghyuck feels like he needs to make a rule that stops people from butting into conversations so suddenly, otherwise he _will_ die of heart failure.

"Jeno! You're here! Great!" Jaemin cheered, obviousness dripping in his voice.

Jeno raised a questioning brow at him before making his way to sit between him and Renjun.

"Am I missing something or-" Jeno looked between the three boys, completely and utterly confused.

"Nope! Everything's just peachy!" Donghyuck assured brightly, "How's your morning been so far?"

"Good... until I came here." Jeno rolled his eyes at the way Donghyuck stuck his tongue out at him, before looking over at Renjun, "At least I have my Renjunnie..." he smiled brightly as he pinched Renjun's cheek with an overly-loving expression.

Donghyuck could see everything unfold in front of him. The way Renjun was practically having an internal battle in his head to decide whether he should crave for more of Jeno's touches, or reject them to prevent further heartbreak. While, on the other side of the table, Jaemin's shoulders visibly sagged as his entire frame deflated, evidence of his discomfort with being in front of the couple (not-so-couple... but Jaemin doesn't know that).

Donghyuck only sighed, burying his head in his arms as his gaze automatically travelled to the other side of the cafeteria. Somehow, his eyes locked with Mark's and the older gave him a questioning look, wondering why the latter held their gazes for longer than usual.

Donghyuck himself didn't know anymore. He felt his face heat up and his entire body grew weak from the amount of energy he used to unleash his holed up emotions the night before.

Looking at Mark has never felt so... _relieving_. 

He wondered when his life suddenly became one big, romantic cliché and why his friends all seemed to be suffering with the same problem.

Give him a break... please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it :)
> 
> sorry... this one was a little uhh... a little more sad ig? 
> 
> thank you for all the support btw!! it srysly means a lot ;-; y'all have no idea! <3
> 
> no one is ready for nct 2020 and that's a fact.
> 
> now kpop has been saved. now 2020 has been saved.


	10. eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shotaro and sungchan have my heart.
> 
> they can take all my love.
> 
> no one's ever been doing it like nct doing it *cue standing ovation*

Donghyuck must've lost his mind.

There is absolutely _no_ reasonable explanation as to why he's doing this right now.

For some _god forsaken_ reason, Donghyuck finds himself asking _Mark_ for _advice_ because Renjun's Jeno dilemma had him absolutely stumped to the point where he couldn't focus on his work.

"You brat, you're paying less attention than usual! What is wrong with you?!" Mark yelled at him and Donghyuck could only wince at the harshness in his tone.

"Mark hyung?" He called out once the older calmed down and settled back down in his seat as they sat in silence in the empty student council room, working separately as always.

"What?" Mark snapped at him, sending him a glare.

"Say for example, if person A likes person B, but person B likes person C, who probably likes them back, but person B is too dense to notice it, and so decides to mess with person A's feelings and suggests to start fake dating to see if person C's feelings are real... but then person A slowly gets upset about the arrangement, even though they don't want to admit it or tell anyone or break it off... what should they do?" Donghyuck spit-fired, fists clenching as he remembered how sad Renjun was.

"What the actual fuck?" Mark cursed, clearly taking no interest in the younger's problem whatsoever.

"Ugh... forget it." Donghyuck groaned, tossing his head back in annoyance due to Mark's uselessness, "You're too dumb and heartless to know anything about these kind of things."

They sit in silence for a bit, but when Mark starts talking, Donghyuck suddenly fears for his life.

"I want to say that person B is a stupid idiot." Mark started off, eyes not moving from the papers in his hands but his words were clearly directed to the only other person in the room, "But I can see why they did it. You have to see things on both sides. Person B was stupid to get person A involved by asking for such a request in the first place, but person A was also stupid by accepting and expecting not to get hurt- they were clearly too blinded by their fantasies to realise that _never_ \- not even _once_ has a fake relationship between you and a person you like, who liked another has ever gone well. It never has." Mark spared Donghyuck a brief glance before referring his attention back to the papers in his hands, "If you want my honest opinion and advice, person A should end it as soon as possible before they get the wrong idea and start expecting things from something that isn't even there. Meanwhile, person B should just grow a pair and stop expecting others to involve themselves and help them with their problems when they've got their own to deal with. Person B should just confess to person C; it'll be hard for them... but it isn't hard enough to the point it requires a third party to get involved."

Donghyuck doesn't understand.

He doesn't understand how Mark could be so heartless and cold and vain, but say such things as if he's experienced it all himself. Donghyuck can't even make the assumption that maybe he has because he knows for a fact that Mark hasn't. Mark hasn't ever loved anyone in his entire life and nothing will change that, not now, not ever.

"Don't worry," Mark spoke up again, catching Donghyuck's immediate attention, "That friend of yours is a smart boy... he knows what to do."

Was he that obvious? Was Mark only reassuring him to rub it in his face that Renjun's feelings were recognisable to the point that someone like Mark saw them?

'Now was _not_ the fucking time to get cocky, Mark Lee.' he mentally hissed, 'People's emotions aren't something to joke about!'

"How did you know?" Donghyuck seethed, suddenly getting protective over his friends.

Mark only laughed, which angered Donghyuck even more. This wasn't a laughing matter!

"I have my ways." Mark shrugged carelessly.

Because that's exactly what it was. Mark doesn't care. He was just answering questions when asked like the dutiful student council president that he was.

Out of everyone in the entire world, every single person, all seven-point-something billion of them... Donghyuck had to fall for Mark Lee.

"Hey, you brat! I don't give advice out for free, you know." Mark snapped at him and Donghyuck only rolled his eyes in response.

He mindlessly got up and walked over to Mark's desk, eyes not leaving the said boy even once. Without any order or command, he kneeled down and set himself between the older's legs, fingers fiddling with the zipper of his trousers.

Mark looked at him through hooded eyes and Donghyuck felt all the nerves in his body spike up in that moment. If it wasn't for the fact that he was determined to give Mark a mind-blowing blowjob, he probably would've sat in contemplation for a little longer and wondered why Mark has the most charming eyes he'd ever seen.

_'Person A should end it as soon as possible before they get the wrong idea and start expecting things from something that isn't even there.'_

Mark's words circled his mind for hours even after their small talk in the student council room.

They were words of advice, for his friends in particular, for _their_ problems.

So why did he feel like the words were meant for him more than anyone else? 

Does Mark know? How would he know? Donghyuck hadn't given anything away, not left a single reference to even remotely suggest that he has feelings for Mark. He couldn't possibly know.

"Hyuck!" Donghyuck snapped out of his thoughts and looked up, noticing Jaemin approaching him with a cheerful smile, laughing when the other got shushed at by the librarian.

"Hey, Nana." the tanned boy greeted him. He had been sitting in the library for over an hour, trying to study and finish up some assignments; but, as usual, he was too busy thinking about Mark and couldn't get as much work done as he wanted to.

"You know how you're collecting ideas from clubs and departments to get student input on ideas for school events?" Jaemin started once he sat down on the opposite side of the booth the tanned boy was sitting at.

"Yeah?" Donghyuck raised a questioning brow at him.

"Well! I just thought of the most perfect idea! I even discussed it with the members of my photography club and they all agreed to file it as our suggestion for an event!" Jaemin clapped his hands enthusiastically, before muttering a guilty apology when people glared at him for being too noisy in a place that was supposed to be quiet.

"What is it?" Donghyuck encouraged, shooting glares at whoever tried to shush them.

"Ok, ok! Hear me out." Jaemin held his hands up as if Donghyuck needed to brace himself before being incredibly impressed by whatever Jaemin's idea was, "Here it comes... you're not ready for this one... it's a complete game-changer... ok... 24 HOUR BOYFREIND-SLASH-GIRLFIREND!"

"SHUT UP!" the collective sound of other people in the library hissed at him in annoyance and the librarian looked as if she was about to make her way over in a second if they didn't heed to her warnings.

"24 hour... _what_?" Donghyuck tried to wrap his head around the suggestion.

"Basically, people can sign up to be matched with a volunteer who will act as their boyfriend or girlfriend for twenty four whole hours." Jaemin explained, "You can voluntarily sign up to be on either end - but the pairings will be randomly matched. To prove that you actually hung out for twenty four hours, you have to upload pictures on instagram or snapchat for everyone to see. The best 'couple' with the cutest photos, as judged by the student council committee, will win a prize! A prize that I haven't yet thought of... but it isn't about that! This is an _opportunity_."

Donghyuck had to admit, the idea was pretty well thought-out and clever. Jaemin really out-did himself this time. He made a mental note to promote the idea as much as he could to make sure it gets through for the voting.

"What opportunity?" he asked, noticing the way Jaemin's smile turned into a sly smirk as the younger leaned forward across the table until his face was directly in front of Donghyuck's.

"An opportunity for you to spend twenty four hours with Mark." he grinned mischievously.

"Are you crazy?! No! That won't happen!" Donghyuck quickly protested, suddenly regretting ever thinking the idea was good, "You said that it was random anyway! I won't get paired with him even if I do volunteer."

"I'm sure I can make some special... _adjustments_." Jaemin looked seriously diabolical in that moment and Donghyuck didn't know whether to be curious or absolutely terrified.

(He was both)

"You said it yourself! You told me that you tried to make Mark hate you more by making him angry." Jaemin reminded.

"That was for- never mind..." Donghyuck felt his cheeks flush, he knew he didn't need to tell Jaemin any more since the latter already knew, so he decided to save his pride from further damage.

"Look, you and Mark are enemies, I get that. You won't stop going on about how much you hate him." Jaemin started, "But, you can't just ignore the fact that you have feelings for him as well."

Donghyuck looked at Jaemin sceptically. He knew he couldn't just bury his feelings and pretend they don't exist. How could he do that when he saw Mark _every_ day?

"What should I do then?" he frowned, suddenly defeated by the fact that he had such unrequited feelings towards a guy that hated him.

"You tried to make him hate you more before, but we've got to move on from that." Jaemin stated in all seriousness, "Now, we've got to make him fall for you."

Donghyuck's eyes grew wide and a fluttery feeling erupted in his chest at the thought. He'd spent so much of his time going through his emotions and trying to figure out what he wanted. He knew he had feelings for Mark, but he didn't know what to do about those feelings.

Mark doesn't like him, but Donghyuck had always been the kind of person who would persist over something they wanted. And for Donghyuck, what he wanted was Mark.

So, it wouldn't hurt to try.

It couldn't possibly hurt more than it already did just from carrying his feelings around like a burden on his heart.

"We've got to make Mark Lee fall in love with you." Jaemin looked at him dead in the eye, as if everything he was saying was only for the sole purpose of forcing Donghyuck to actually make a move.

"Jaemin?" Donghyuck spoke up after he processed everything.

"Yes?"

"You're a genius."

"I know, I know..."

"What's this?" Mark questioned, holding up a sheet of paper.

"Maybe you didn't know this before... but I think it's a piece of paper, hyung. You see, trees-" Donghyuck answered, only to be cut off by the older.

"I know that, idiot." Mark hissed, not appreciating the way the younger made fun of him, "I'm asking what's _this_. This 24-hour boyfriend/girlfriend thing."

"Oh, that. It's the photography club's idea for an event. Word got out that this was their suggestion and everyone instantly agreed. It's really popular. Some clubs even refused to submit a suggestion in favour of this idea instead. I have a feeling it's going to win the voting." Donghyuck explained.

"Sounds really dumb." Mark sighed, not wanting to permit such an idea since it sounded like something that would stir up unnecessary drama.

"It's what the people want." Donghyuck shrugged, "All you've got to do is sign it off so we can post it on the website with the others. The poll is starting tomorrow anyway."

"I can't believe this is what my authority has left me to do..." Mark mumbled under his breath, before moving his pen over the sheet of paper to sign it.

Donghyuck smiled to himself - hopefully, Jaemin's plan would work.

A few days later, when the poll results were finalised, Donghyuck happily skipped over to the big notice board near the student council room and pinned up a colourful poster, highlighting the main event that had everyone buzzing with excitement.

Jaemin's right. This is an opportunity.

If Donghyuck can make Mark hate him... making Mark fall in love with him shouldn't be any harder.

_Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want to say a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who reads and comments on this fic!! i post a chapter before going to bed and then wake up the next morning to find so many encouraging and nice comments and it just makes me so ajskinqxosioawisai happy :'))) thank you so so much!!
> 
> words can't even describe how insecure i am with this book, especially now that so many people are looking forward to it... i really don't want to disappoint!! so i really hope this book meets all of your expectations and that you'll like it in the future as well!!:)
> 
> there are a few comments regarding endgame ships and stuff like that... i don't want to reveal anything now, but fear not! all i can say is that i've physically never written anything that has an angsty ending. i admit, it's a little sad throughout, but i swear on my life that it isn't like this the whole way through! so i genuinely hope you guys stick with it to see it through :D
> 
> also!! comments from the previous chapter highlighted how i post quite frequently - firstly, thank you so much for recognising this and thank you so much for the encouragement and support, i really don't deserve it :')... but thank you sm!! i've mentioned multiple times that i've pre-written this book and i've written over half of it already, so that's why updates are quite frequent! i don't have an actual schedule for updating, just whenever i get to sit down with my laptop and post :) i'm still in school and have really major exams coming up, so my updates will be a little inconsistent at times, but i promise to update as much as i can!! 
> 
> thank you guys again for the support!! it means so so much!! <333
> 
> (stan nct :))


	11. nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does ur mind ever just go "nct, nct, nct, nct, nct, nct, nct" ???
> 
> coz i'm not even joking when i say that my mind runs on nct power 24/7/365 - it's mildly concerning but oh well.
> 
> anyway... apologies for any grammatical errors or typos that i make in my chapters, i do proofread and try to go over the chapters as much as i can, but i still end up having errors... so sorry for that hehehe-

When Jaemin said that Donghyuck needed to make Mark fall in love with him, he didn't really specify _how_ to do that.

The situation was rather amusing from the outskirts.

Lee Donghyuck, student council vice president, theatre club star and... the _centre_ of everyone's wildest dreams.

People didn't hide the fact that they wanted Donghyuck in more ways than one. How could they not want him? He's the epitome of beauty and probably the sexiest being to have ever set foot on their school grounds. His personality and his intelligence only adds to the fact that Lee Donghyuck was a very desirable person.

So, when Donghyuck started coming to basketball practises to do homework on the bleachers, the entire team worked twice as hard, in hopes to get the tanned boy's attention - all failing miserably.

Donghyuck wouldn't even look up from his work, and whenever he did, it was to check to see whether practise had finished or not. When practise did finish, Donghyuck would pack up his stuff and leave straight away, offering a pretty smile and wishing the basketball team good luck in future matches which, for them, was way more than enough.

Unknowing to basically everyone, the only reason why Donghyuck even bothered to show up to practises to do homework, when he could literally just do it in the quiet comforts of the library, was for one person and one person only.

Donghyuck knows that Mark's a stupidly talented basketball player. He's not captain of the team for nothing.

But, words can't even begin to describe how _hot_ Mark looks when he plays basketball.

It gave Donghyuck the open-doored opportunity to just ogle at Mark's perfect skill and physique for a whole hour, sometimes even two, depending on how long practise ran for and how much time Donghyuck had spared before he had to go to class.

He didn't make it obvious at first and he was sure Mark didn't even notice he was there. But, over time, Donghyuck started to become less subtle about his glances, which only gave the other basketball team members hope that the tanned boy was looking at them.

He wasn't.

Donghyuck was too busy admiring every single droplet of sweat that trickled down's Mark's forehead, and his neck, and his body. Fuck... his _body_.

Even though Donghyuck had the pleasure of seeing Mark completely naked, seeing him in his basketball kit was just as mouth-watering. Naturally, Mark was fit. He's insanely fit. His body type was just right for the sharpness of his facial features and Donghyuck genuinely thinks his existence is a work of art.

He finds himself drooling whenever Mark plays. The way he effortlessly dribbles the ball, passes it to his teammates, shoots his hoops and just overall, working himself tired until he's glistening with sweat and his hair is slicked back to get it out of his face.

Even when he's joking with his teammates and having fun; he looks good. Even when he's being all strict and captain-like; he looks good. Even when he's doing so much as drinking water out of his bottle; he looks so ridiculously attractive that, at this point, Donghyuck think it's unfair. Not only that, but Donghyuck finds his circumstances rather unfortunate as well. He's sitting near the top tier of the bleacher seats and Mark is just so far away from him. The older constantly has his back turned towards him and Donghyuck could only mourn over the fact that he would never be able to see the expression Mark makes when he laughs with his teammates.

It's so sad, Donghyuck almost wants to cry.

"Vice president!" someone calls out for him and Donghyuck instantly shifts his attention away from Mark before the older recognises him and looks over to whoever just called him.

"Yeah?" he smiled his signature sweet smile and refrains himself from laughing when the boy on the court drops the basketball in his hand before rushing to collect it, laughing awkwardly when his teammates poked fun at him.

"Watch this!" he suddenly demands with a sharp determination before moving backwards, away from the net until he was almost halfway on the court.

Donghyuck watched intently when the boy flung the ball with precision until it spiralled the rim of the basketball hoop before falling in.

Everyone near him cheered and hollered, slapping him on the back with enthusiasm and the boy who just landed that admittedly impressive shot looked just as surprised as everyone else, probably not expecting the ball to go in.

"Woah! That was so cool!" Donghyuck clapped, genuinely impressed by the shot.

The boy seemed to be even more flustered after getting Donghyuck's attention, and ended up stumbling out a small 'thanks' in response.

"Great! Now that you've wasted precious practise time, I'm sure running a few laps will compensate for it." Mark's voice boomed across the court as he glared at the boy who had been trying to get Donghyuck's attention.

"Y-yes, captain." the boy stuttered before running a lap around the court. Everyone instantly went back to their drills, not wanting to face the same fate.

Donghyuck frowned at that. Mark didn't have to be so mean about it...

Now that his attention was on the older, Donghyuck watched intently as Mark stood at the half-way line of the court, bouncing the ball in his and on the floor a few times before jumping up and flinging the ball in a perfect, semi-circular arc that looked way too mathematically aerodynamic for it to only be out of luck. The ball didn't waste time circling the hoop and landed straight in with one, clean whoosh.

The entire court fell silent at the shot their captain just landed, effortlessly and gracefully. Mark doesn't show off. He doesn't rub the fact that he'd been picked for a major league team in people's faces. So, everyone could only assume he was simply trying to teach a lesson to his teammates. 

Mark was good at way too many things.

Donghyuck let out a sigh, resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he recounted the perfect shot Mark made out of the blue. He doesn't know why the older needs to prove to the other members on the team that _he's_ the captain and that he can land shots cooler than anyone else can. Everyone already knows.

But Donghyuck knew that Mark liked to frequently remind people of his top student status and as much as he wanted to say that it was incredibly annoying, Donghyuck found the older to be way too hot and way too sexy to think of him in such a way.

Besides, Donghyuck respected Mark too much to think lowly of the older's talents.

Practise soon came to an end and Donghyuck had class in an hour. So he packed up his stuff and prepared himself to go to the theatre room and practise his lines for an upcoming mini-performance he had.

He wanted to leave quickly before anyone approached him. If that happened, he would have to stand around masses of sweaty bodies until he could finally go. As much as talking to hot basketball players sounded very appealing, Donghyuck could already _feel_ the oxygen levels in his body depleting and the overwhelming scent of sweat burning his nostrils.

He was just about to leave through the doors of the court, but a familiar voice called his name out, leaving his body weak and defenceless.

"Donghyuck!" Mark called out to him.

"Yes, Mark hyung?" Donghyuck turned around quickly and flashed a sweet smile, suddenly shy under Mark's gaze. This was the first time Mark noticed him after the many practise sessions he had attended, only for the sole purpose of watching Mark in his element.

"Wait outside the changing room lockers, I need to give you something."

Donghyuck felt his heart burst out of his chest. The changing room lockers? The most cliché of places to get fucked in?

Excitement buzzed through Donghyuck's body as he felt himself slowly getting turned on at the thought.

He waited patiently outside the changing rooms, waving to a few boys who noticed him and gave him suggestive looks and winks and teasing remarks, to which he responded to with the same rigor.

Mark came shortly afterwards and walked passed the younger without a glance, to which the brunette pouted at. He came back and handed a clear white plastic folder to the younger.

"These are the notes from the previous meeting. You're going to need them later on, so here's a copy." Mark explained simply, knowing that the younger couldn't attend the last meeting due to some reason that he didn't care enough about to actually listen to.

"O-oh... thanks, hyung." Donghyuck's smile faltered slightly as he tried to hide his disappointment.

"You're looking extra pretty today, Donghyuck." a voice called out to the boy, catching his attention. Donghyuck looked up and noticed someone familiar, a boy he flirted with once or twice at one of the many parties he had attended.

"Thank you, Jaesoo." Donghyuck grinned at the said boy who walked up to him.

"Wanna go out tonig-" Jaesoo was about to ask, only to be interrupted by a fuming Mark.

"We're in the middle of a conversation here, are you blind?!" Mark snapped, screwing his eyes at the person who thought it was acceptable to just walk into a conversation so casually. _'Disrespectful'_

"Oh... sorry, captain." Jaesoo clicked his tongue before bringing two of his fingers to his ear, mimicking a telephone, tossing another wink to Donghyuck, who just giggled., before leaving in case Mark got even angrier.

Donghyuck found himself getting annoyed at the way Mark was treating his teammates. Was he a captain or a dictator? Because clearly, Mark didn't seem to know the difference.

"You should be nicer to your team! You're their captain and you're treating them like shit." he scolded, crossing his arms.

"Last time I checked, I didn't ask for your opinion on how to lead my team." Mark seethed.

To Donghyuck's surprise, Mark pushed him into the now empty changing rooms before dragging him to the showers and shoving him against the white-tiled walls.

"I don't know why you've been coming to watch practises when you can do your homework literally _anywhere_ else." Mark pressed the palm of his hands on either side of the younger's head, preventing the latter from escaping (not that Donghyuck wanted to or anything). "I don't know why you do it... but its getting seriously annoying now. You're distracting my team!"

"Distracting? How am I _distracting_ them?" Donghyuck grinned, tilting his head to the side as if he wasn't cocky enough to know the kind of affect he had on people that were interested in him.

Mark seemed taken back by the way Donghyuck talked, clearly not expecting such a challenging hint in the younger's tone.

Donghyuck wanted to laugh at that. He could've easily challenged everything Mark said to him, all the dirty talk he did, he could've said something in response. But he liked the way Mark handled him and the way his words were harsh, but undeniably sexy. Now that his main goal was to make Mark fall in love with him, he needed to step up his own game and tease Mark to a whole new level.

Before, he wanted to make Mark hate him more by making him angry.

Now, he wanted to make Mark so angry, he would love him instead.

"You know what you're doing." Mark hissed, trailing a hand up the younger's shirt.

"I really don't, hyung." Donghyuck even went as far as pouting just to emphasise his confusion.

He wasn't a theatre kid for nothing.

The response only made Mark angrier and Donghyuck couldn't help the surprised squeak that escaped his lips when the older flipped him around and pushed him against the wall with a newer, harsher strength.

(Donghyuck now has a strength kink)

His body trembled in arousal and excitement when Mark pulled off his trousers and spread his legs apart, hands practically moulding his ass with just as much skill as he showed on the court.

"Annoying brat." Mark muttered, gripping Donghyuck's waist tightly, rocking his length back and forth until Donghyuck was shaking in pleasure. He smirked when the younger had to bite back his sobs and moans in fear of someone hearing them since they didn't know if all his teammates had left or not. "You're such a slut for attention. You want everyone looking at you, right? You want everyone to focus on you. Even when I'm busy trying to take my team to nationals, you just swoop in and distract them like the attention bitch that you are. What you're doing is dangerous... and I'm not going to let you off anymore."

Donghyuck shuddered at the older's words, his mind hazy from arousal and anticipation. There was nothing to hold onto and Mark had one of his hands pushing his head against the wall so he wouldn't try to turn around.

He didn't care much of the implications or the harshness of Mark's words. Only that he had been hoping for Mark to fuck him in the changing rooms after basketball practise this entire time.

Now that he's finally got just that, he couldn't find it in himself to worry about anything else.

_The things he would do for Mark Lee._

When they finished, Mark spared him a glance, raking his eyes over Donghyuck's trembling body with something similar to disgust.

" _Pathetic_." he muttered quietly, not expecting the younger to hear, before leaving the shower stall without another word.

Donghyuck slid down against the wall, arms moving to wrap around his body, a weak smile on his lips as tears stung his eyes. He hates himself for it every time. He hates the fact that he wants whatever Mark gives him so badly, but ends up a crumbling mess straight afterwards.

It wasn't fair.

"I know."

"Nationals?" Donghyuck recounted Mark's words. 

He'd been trying to get some sleep for a good forty minutes now, but no matter what he did, he just didn't feel tired enough.

Mark had been training to take his team to the nationals? That's a really big deal. He didn't doubt that their basketball team could do it, their team was at the top of the league, being proclaimed the best team across all schools over the country. Getting to nationals was practically guaranteed for them.

But, for some reason, it made Donghyuck worry.

How much time was Mark spending on everything else but himself? When was the last time he saw Mark do anything other than work and practise?

When Mark's not on the court, he's in the library or in the student council room, studying and doing assignments to maintain his top spot as best student.

Donghyuck knows this because he's watched Mark from afar for a while now. He's always sub-consciously watching him anyway, it wasn't anything new. 

He knows that there's a lot of pressure on his shoulders. He can see the worry and stress and fatigue written all over Mark's face during their student council meeting- carrying the responsibility of making sure Seoul International remained the best college in the country.

Donghyuck was almost willing enough to give Mark a spot in the theatre club because the older is really fucking good at acting.

Mark is really good at hiding his tiredness by masking it with annoyance. Yelling at people who aren't doing what they're supposed to do, scolding people for doing wrong, spending time arguing with Donghyuck like its his job. Mark really does it all. He can't say Mark does it all with a smile on his face - but his angry expression is more natural than his happy one at this point.

Donghyuck drifted his attention to the far wall where he hung up his chalkboard. The small, black expanse was completely empty, only board-rubber-sized strokes covered the empty space from how harshly Donghyuck had rubbed off the words.

_One: become student council president._

That was his first and most important goal. He really did want to become president and show his father what he was capable of. That he wasn't second to anyone and there couldn't be someone better than him if he really put in the work and made everyone happy.

But, in the end. There was one person.

Mark was a good president. As much as Donghyuck would rather die than tell him that, he couldn't deny that Mark worked really hard. Harder than anyone Donghyuck has ever seen during his time in this college. And that's saying something, considering the fact that this was a pretty prestigious college for quite high-end people.

He wondered if Mark knew that.

Judging by his overly-confident and cocky attitude, Donghyuck assumed that Mark knew well how good of a president he was.

_Still._

He got up and rummaged through his drawer for a piece of paper, deciding that he wasn't ready to go to sleep just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! NCT 2020 OT23 IS A BLESSING. !!
> 
> shotaro and sungchan have a special special place in my heart u w u <3
> 
> it's going to be so SO GOOOOOOOD
> 
> i can't believe nct just dropped such a powerful video like that so... CASUALLY LIKE IT DIDN'T JUST DESTROY THE ENTIRE NATION I- ?!?!!?!!
> 
> anyway... watch me start to write chapters featuring shotaro and sungchan bc my ot23 heart is so full rn. i can't wait fo the nct 2020 vlive tmrw!!! it's gonna be so amazing!!
> 
> shotaro better teach everyone tiktok dances lmaoo-
> 
> thank you for reading and for the 1k hits and so many kudos!! thank you thank you!! <3


	12. ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> counting down the days until NCT 2020~ !
> 
> *insert a little mark pov chapter :)*

Mark cracked his neck before unlocking the door to the student council room with his key. He stretched his arms out tiredly, trying to shake some life into them after he had practically drained all the energy in his limbs from the long hours of basketball practise he had been doing last night.

He managed to drag Lucas out to practise with him at some point, but even his tall friend decided he was too tired to play anymore.

Mark couldn't help it. Nationals had been his main goal for the past few years and he really wanted to take his team there. They were good, _really_ good, but if they wanted to secure a spot in the national league, he knew they all needed to work harder.

As much as his entire body protested, Mark dragged himself over to his desk, stifling a yawn at the back of his throat. Six in the morning was such an un-godly hour to be awake at and, sometimes, he doesn't even know how he manages to get out of bed at this time every morning.

He looked over to his left, glaring at the desk adjacent to his own.

'That brat sleeps for an extra hour every morning. Lucky little shit... yet he has the audacity to complain when he's tired.' he seethed to himself, thinking about how Donghyuck comes in all bright and cheery in the mornings while Mark was pretty certain he looked like a zombie.

When he rounded his desk, the sight before him confused him to no end. He didn't expect to see a coffee cup and a small envelope sitting neatly at the centre of the table, an open invitation for him to inspect.

Cautiously, he picked up the coffee cup, surprised to see that it was still warm. 

Did someone get here before him? The school is almost always empty whenever he arrives. At least, that's what he thought.

He takes a sip of the drink and noticed that it was his usual order - iced americano with three shots of espresso to wake him up in the early mornings. 

That's when he was really confused. No one knew his order except for his closest friends and Mark was absolutely certain they would rather miss school than come in as early as he did. So it couldn't have been them.

He continued to sip on the drink as his eyes surveyed the plain, white envelope sitting expectantly on his desk.

With care, he opened the envelope and took out the neatly folded piece of paper. He scanned his eyes over the words in the middle of the page and couldn't help but feel shocked at the sudden kind gesture he received.

_Hey, President!_

_I noticed that you've been working pretty hard lately, with the basketball team as well as student council stuff. I get that you're probably really tired and worked out, so I just wanted to say that you're doing a really good job as captain and as president!_

_Word of advice, the world will still keep turning even if you decide you need to take a break. A nice power nap has never done anyone any harm hehehe~_

_This note is probably really cliché and kind of stupid... but I seriously hope that you don't feel like you have to do everything by yourself! If our student council president works hard for us, then we have to work hard for you too, ok?_

_Good luck with everything and make sure to get some rest! Seriously... please sleep. Otherwise I will be very sad :'(_

_Bye-bye!_

Mark couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped his lips as he read the note over a few times.

Whoever the person was, they weren't wrong. The note was cliché and a little stupid... but it was sweet as well.

Sweet enough for Mark to suddenly feel energised for the rest of the day - possibly even for the rest of the week!

He wished the note was signed, he really wanted to thank whoever the person was for noticing him in such a way and making him feel like someone paid attention to him.

Suddenly, the door burst open, startling Mark as he looked at whoever just entered the room.

"Morning, Mark hyung!!" Donghyuck's cheerful voice echoed through the room and Mark hadn't realised how much time had already passed. Either that, or Donghyuck was surprisingly early today.

"You're so fucking loud! How many times do I have to tell you to turn your volume the fuck down before I get permanent ear damage?!" Mark grumbled at him.

"Whatever. You'll be visually and audibly impaired and then maybe I'll have a reason to sympathise with yo- OOH WHAT'S THAT?!" 

Before Mark could say or do anything, Donghyuck reached over his desk and snatched the letter in his hand.

"Hey! Give that back you idiot!" Mark yelled, chasing after the younger once he started running away with the note in fit of giggles.

"Aww~ has Markie hyung got a secret admirer? That's so adorable~" Donghyuck teased and before he could say anything else, Mark caught him by the wrist and grabbed the note out of his hands.

"It's not an _admirer_. I don't have time for that kind of shit." Mark glared at him and completely missed the way the younger's smile slowly fell into a silent frown.

"Yeah, you're probably right. I mean... who would like _you_?" Donghyuck scoffed at the thought before settling down at his desk to start on his work.

"Look at you talking as if you've got a boyfriend yourself." Mark rolled his eyes, not sparing the younger a glance, already knowing about the latter's perferences from the brief times he mentioned it. 

"I could!" Donghyuck defended himself.

"You could. But you don't." Mark laughed at the idea, "No one in their right mind would like you anyway..."

There was a small silence, but before Mark could look up and question it, Donghyuck already whipped up a come back.

"Hey! You're not any better! No one would want an insensitive dickhead like you as their boyfriend!" 

"Hmm... I can live with that." Mark shrugged mindlessly. He really was too busy to focus on relationships anyway. "By the way, why are you so early? Actually decided to try living my life and wake up at ass o'clock every morning?"

"What the fuck- no. I would never do that." Donghyuck quickly denied, earning a small laugh from the older, "I had to run through lines for a play and print some work off because my-"

"Never mind... I don't actually care." Mark interrupted him, "Just do your work and don't bother me."

"You were the one that fucking asked you asshole!!" Donghyuck hissed before letting out a strangled noise of annoyance.

Mark doesn't exactly know why pissing Donghyuck off brought him so much satisfaction. He just loved it when the younger threw a fit and would get angry. It was strangely fascinating.

"Well... since you're early..." Mark started slowly, before getting up and walking towards the door, locking it and then heading towards Donghyuck's desk. "Why don't we have some fun?"

Mark smirked when Donghyuck diverted his gaze and nodded.

Donghyuck couldn't say no to him. He could never do that. He never has been able to do that the entire time they've been messing around.

Mark loves it when Donghyuck can't say no.

"He's pretty cute." 

Mark only hummed at whatever Lucas was trying to tell him. He was half-paying attention and half-trying to finish up the report he had been meaning to perfect since yesterday.

Lucas obviously noticed the lack of attention his best friend was giving him and decided to play with him.

"I mean... he's a real eye-catcher. His skin is like actual gold, man!" Lucas sighed dreamily, "Imagine dating someone like Lee Donghyuck."

"Yeah... wait what?!" Mark jerked his neck to look at Lucas with an incredulous stare and the older of the two suddenly burst out laughing.

"You should've seen the look on your face!" Lucas practically choked on his own laughter, "Dude... are you jealous? What? Don't like the idea of me going after the cute vice president?"

"What? No... I really don't care." Mark shrugged, "I just thought you were into Renjun. I mean... you've been talking about him nonstop."

"That's because I don't understand why he's being so stupid when he's literally one of the smartest people I've ever had the pleasure of indirectly knowing! How could he be in a fake relationship with someone when that person likes someone else?!" Lucas cried out, dropping his head onto the table. From all the _observing_ he had been doing of one Huang Renjun, Lucas somehow ended up finding out about the dilemma the younger found himself in. And it stressed him to no end.

"I mean... its not like you're making any moves to change that." Mark rolled his eyes at the other's dramatic behaviour before going back to his work, mumbling under his breath his next few words, "Since when did I become a love guru?"

"I'm just... waiting for the right time!" Lucas tried to defend himself.

"Either that, or your fuckboy agenda won't let you make a move on one person at a time." Mark smirked knowingly, not even bothering to look at the annoyed face Lucas was probably making.

"First of all, fuck you." the older groaned, which Mark could only laugh at, "Second of all, Huang Renjun is different. He is _precious_. He is also the only person I want who I don't have a phone number from. I mean, I don't understand... why can't I have his number?!!"

"Have you tried asking him for it?"

"... no."

"Then that's your answer." Mark wanted to pinch the bridge of his nose to emphasise how much stress Lucas' incompetence was currently giving him.

"I can't just walk up to that _angel_ and ask for his number?!! Who do you take me for?!" Lucas actually looked mildly offended, "Besides, Hendery's roommate is one of Renjun's friends and he said that Renjun doesn't give his number out to just anyone. Anyone who wants his number has to ask for it from him only. Apparently, Hendery's roommate, Yangyang, almost got his arm dislocated when he gave Renjun's number to someone without his permission. I think he scarred Yangyang for life now."

"Wow... impressive." Mark nodded in interest, "Maybe I'll ask for Renjun's number myself. He sounds like a good lay... I like the feisty type."

"If you touch him, I will-" 

"Ok, ok! Jeez... I was only joking. I wouldn't come after your crush like that." Mark chuckled, suddenly proud of his friend for being so accepting of his feelings. "Now, stop talking about all of this. I really don't care anymore. I don't even know Renjun that well but, all of a sudden, two people have already asked for my advice on him and the stupid mess-of-a-situation he's got himself into."

"Two? Who else asked?"

"Donghyuck." Mark replied shortly, inwardly grumbling at the thought of the younger boy who brought him nothing by annoyance and frustration.

"Ahh..." Lucas nodded, before changing the subject, "By the way, have you found out who have you that note yet?"

"No... I really want to though. Do you think it's someone on the committee? Only committee members are allowed in the student council room." Mark tried to think back if he had any particularly close relations with the other committee members.

"Maybe it was Donghyuck?" Lucas suggested, as if his words didn't trigger every nerve in Mark's body.

"Donghyuck? As in Lee Donghyuck? As in, constantly getting on my nerves and purposely making me angry _Lee Donghyuck_?!" Mark enquired in disbelief.

"Yeah... that one." Lucas tried to joke, suddenly fearing Mark's angered expression, which the younger constantly had whenever Donghyuck was merely mentioned.

"Fat chance. He doesn't have the brain or the heart to do something like this." Mark laughed at the idea, "Him being nice? Not until the day I die."

Lucas only let out a sigh but nodded nonetheless, not wanting to talk more about the person that made Mark strangely agitated.

"Ok. I know you're going to say no but-"

"No."

"At least hear me out!!" Donghyuck whined when Mark rejected his proposition so bluntly without even hearing what it was.

"If you already know I'm not going to approve of it... why even bother asking?" Mark gave him a deadpanned look.

"Just listen, asshole!" Donghyuck leaned across the older's desk, threateningly close to Mark's face, "There has been a... _protest_ -"

"Oh god."

"-and a surprising amount of students have said that they won't participate in the '24 hour boyfriend/girlfriend' event tomorrow if _you're_ not one of the volunteers."

"So, what you're saying is that I have to volunteer to be some random person's boyfriend for a _whole_ twenty-four hours, doing things completely against my will for a _whole_ twenty-four hours and then posting pictures of me with that random person, doing things against my will for a _whole_ twenty-four hours online?" Mark basically couldn't believe the words leaving his own mouth.

"Ooh... you're good at this. I didn't even need to explain anything." Donghyuck smiled, sarcasm pouring out in his tone.

"Yeah... I'm not doing that." Mark ignored the younger's presence entirely and went back to work.

"Please! Please! Please!" Donghyuck cried out, clasping his hands together dramatically, "Hyung!! This is the first student-controlled event this college has put on! If we don't have students to actually participate with... then it'll be a complete flop! If it fails... then we'll have to go back to asking teachers and the principal for permission - and don't say you don't care about that because I know you'd rather not have to go to the principal's office to ask for permission for holding such events."

If Mark wasn't slowly starting to get irritated by Donghyuck's persistency, he would've commended the younger for knowing him so well.

"What do I get out of this?" Mark sighed, putting his pen down and facing the boy who had been standing in front of his desk for the past ten minutes, trying to get him to volunteer.

"Uhhh? I don't know? My gratitude?" Donghyuck squinted his eyes in disbelief.

"Not good enough." Mark shrugged, teasing the younger by moving to pick up his pen again, as if he was going to go back to disregarding the younger's existence.

"Wait! Wait! Uhh... what do you want?!! My gratefulness? My respect? My love? I don't know??!"

Mark stopped for a moment and looks up, raising an eyebrow at the younger, eyes scanning the latter's face to pick out a specific sort of reaction. What he got was the sight of the younger... blushing?

"Hmm... why would I want any of that?" Mark asked in all seriousness, "Also, why are you getting all red?"

"It's fucking hot in here and you're pissing me off." Donghyuck grumbled, looking away from the older and moving towards his own desk to grab a water bottle. "Just tell me what you want. Clearly... you're not a kind enough student council president to do something like this willingly."

Mark hummed at the younger's words, not bothered in the slightest, although... it did give him an idea.

"Fine. I'll volunteer." he agreed, raising a brow at the way Donghyuck whipped his head around in shock, "But if I ask you to do me a favour in the future... you'll have to do it."

"What?! You're not volunteering for me! I'm just asking you to do it because people want you to!" Donghyuck protested, hoping that the blush on his cheeks wasn't obvious enough for the older to catch on again, "Why do _I_ have to pay a price?"

"You said to tell you what I want." Mark reminded, a cocky grin on his lips, "And this is what I want."

"You're spoilt."

"And you're annoying." Mark sighed, "Now shut up and finish your work. I don't want to lock up late again."

Donghyuck grumbled more curses under his breath, annoyed at the way Mark always had to get what he wanted in the end. Winning an argument was pointless if Mark somehow always got something out of it.

He discreetly pulled out his phone under his desk and texted Jaemin, sighing at the amount of work he had to do just for this. 

**me:**  
he's doing it.

 **nana <3**  
really?! great!  
good job!  
now we can put the plan into progress!

 **me:**  
why do i like him again?  
he's a dickhead.

 **nana <3**  
trust me.  
i would like to know the answer to that one as well.

Donghyuck just hoped it would be worth it. That, maybe, Mark only treated him like this because everything about them was work related and strictly business. Maybe, if they spent time together outside of school... he could change the older's perceptions of him. 

Maybe... Mark would finally like him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today was the marvellous day of NCT 2020's ot23 vlive!! easily the best 2 and a half hours of my entire life.
> 
> shotaro and sungchan are absolute cuties and i really can't wait for them as well as the album with the other members!!
> 
> also... WTF IS SUNGCHAN SO FCKING TALL?!?!! LIKE... CHENLE GONNA LOOK LIKE A MIDGET NEXT TO HIM QOISNOIDNSOAQIWMS
> 
> anyway... they're both amazing and i'm so glad we got to see the other members of nct interact after such a long time!! haechan and winwin together actually cured every non-existent disease in my body :')) nct's love for winwin is immeasurable-
> 
> also... just nct things when their ending ment was just them saying goodbye and hoping nctzens would support their album in loads of different languages. they're so talented it makes me proud :'))
> 
> taeyongie looked tired as well... bet he was just overwhelmed with the fact that there are so many members now lmao. it was actually straining my eyes having to look at each of them every time the camera panned out... but all 23 of them deserve all the love and support in the world!! i seriously can't wait! all the units and the variety shows/photoshoot/carol songs!! it's going to be amazing!! 
> 
> anyway... thank you again for all the support and love!! it's been almost two weeks since i published this fic and it already gained so much love and attention.... i really don't deserve it, but thank you guys so so much!! <33


	13. eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 100+ KUDOS!!! ;-;
> 
> you guys are the best!! thank you thank you!! :'))

This is the part where Lee Donghyuck decided he should _never_ trust Na Jaemin.

Na Jaemin is good at scheming things.

Na Jaemin is a very sly person. _Very sly_.

He's standing a little further away than Donghyuck would like, with a shit-eating grin on his face, and unfortunately, because of their distance, Donghyuck can't actually reach far enough to smack the shit out of Jaemin.

Why did he agree to this in first place? This is such a bad idea. A very, very bad idea.

He looks up and sees Jaemin on his phone and just as he was about to walk over there and snatch the device away from him, his own phone vibrates in his pocket.

**nana <3:**  
you don't look very happy?  
i'm confused... do you not want to spend 24 hours with your FUTURE BOYFRIEND?

 **me:**  
move closer to me and i'll give you an answer.

 **nana <3:**  
no.  
you're going to murder me in front of everyone.  
i don't want to die before i get the chance to confess to jeno.  
pity me :(

 **me:**  
never.

 **nana <3:**  
ouch.

 **me:**  
this is stupid.  
how will this even work? what did you do to make sure we'd get paired together?

 **nana <3:**  
well... you see...  
i did some calculations. i used my brain and everything for this.  
there's a list of all the names of volunteers for both ends and i keep track of who gets paired with who. if i match it up correctly, i can get yours and mark's name to be called out at the same time. 

**me:**  
great.  
that's actually going to work.  
and now i have about... ummm... less than two minutes before i'm bound to spend 24 hours with mark lee.  
what am i even supposed to do with him for 24 hours?!

 **nana <3:**  
i mean... 

**me:**  
if you suggest sex.  
i will murder you.

 **nana <3:**  
what?  
isn't that what you guys usually do?

 **me:**  
shut up.

Donghyuck shot a glare at Jaemin, who seemed to have etched even further away from him. _That scaredy-cat._

"I didn't know you were volunteering as well." a familiar voice caught his attention, causing him to turn around.

"You never asked?" Donghyuck raised a brow when Mark stood beside him as they both over-looked pairs getting matched up for the event.

They both received an equal amount of looks from people who hoped they would get paired with the either the president or vice president, unknowing to the scheming plots of one Na Jaemin.

Pairs were getting matched up left and right until only a few were left remaining.

A buzz of whispers circled around the crowd of students who came to watch the event go down. The topic of "who's going with the president" and "who's going with the vice president" seemed to be on the tip of everyone's tongue until it eventually lead to "what if the president and vice president go together", but such assumptions were quickly denied by most as they all remembered that the two absolutely _hated_ each other and it was probably safe for the rest of humanity if the two weren't paired together.

"I'm sure you've all been waiting for this one!!" the temporary host for the event announced excitedly as she read from the list in her hand at the remaining uncrossed names left on the sheet, "Who will our president go with?"

Excited cheers and commotion erupted as everyone grew curious of who would be the lucky person who would get to spend twenty four hours with the president.

Donghyuck could see Jaemin give him a thumbs up from the side-lines. Even though he appreciated the younger's efforts, Donghyuck was a nervous wreck. He wanted to spend time with Mark really badly, finally having an excuse to talk about things that weren't related to student council and maybe get a chance to actually have a proper conversation with Mark instead of arguing like they usually do.

He wanted to make use of the opportunity given to him, but at the same time... he was scared.

"And the lucky person matched with our president is-"

"WAIT!" 

Everyone turned their heads around to the person who just interrupted the announcer rather loudly. The new voice erupted even more commotion as people cleared a path for the new comer.

"Oh my god... Kim Seunghun. It's Kim Seunghun..."

"The super hot football captain?"

"Didn't he say he wasn't going to participate in this event?"

"The whole reason why I didn't participate was because of him!! I really wanted to be his partner."

The talked about person, Seunghun, made his way to the short, make-shift stage where the '24-hour boyfriend/girlfriend' event was set up on.

"I know it's late... but can I still volunteer?" Seunghun asked, a smile handsome enough to woo the announcer into slowly nodding.

"WHAT?!" Jaemin's voice echoed over everyone else's, but as soon as people turned towards him, he just looked away in embarrassment.

Donghyuck sent him a questioning look, suddenly worried about the other's reaction. Should he be concerned?

"Let him join!"

"Let him volunteer!

"I want to see Kim Seunghun oppa!"

Cheers of agreement resonated across the student body and Donghyuck could hear Mark sigh in annoyance beside him. 

"Ok, ok fine! I guess we can add you to the list." the announcer pursed her lips before scribbling onto the piece of paper in her hand. "Back to the president. Mark-ssi, you will be paired with... Park Hyerin!"

Mark looked over to his right on the other side of the podium at where the people who wanted to be paired with a boyfriend or girlfriend stood at. He gave the girl who he was supposedly paired with one look before deeming that he wasn't interested in the slightest. Still, he made his way over, pulled on his infamous smile (that Donghyuck would literally _kill_ to see) and led her off the stage. Hyerin herself looked as if she was about to explode in happiness. 

Donghyuck couldn't feel anything. His entire body froze as he witnessed the way the plan just backfired right in front of his two eyes.

"That leaves our vice president!" the sound of the announcer's voice filled his ears, "Donghyuck-ssi... you will be paired with Kim Seunghun!"

_What?_

Donghyuck had blanked out for a while and it wasn't until someone was standing right in front of him did he snap back.

"Donghyuck-ssi?" Seunghun smiled and Donghyuck had to admit, the boy was ridiculously good looking, "We'll be spending twenty four hours together, I hope can we get along." he was very polite as well, which in itself surprised Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck stood in a mixture of confusion and awe, but who shook himself awake and focused on the boy in front of him, smiling brightly.

"I can't wait to hang out!" he winked, something he would do to anyone really.

Unknowing to Donghyuck, Seunghun only had one plan and that was to spend twenty four hours trying to woo the vice president. The entire reason why he had decided to join the event last minute was because a part of him felt lucky enough for him to believe that he might get paired up with the pretty, tanned skin boy.

And he did.

So he was going to make the most of it.

Seunghun offered an arm and Donghyuck laughed at the gesture before graciously linking their arms and walking off.

He could see Jaemin eye him apologetically and slightly fearfully, he too didn't seem to know how to comprehend the situation.

Donghyuck was entirely reluctant. He looked back and saw Mark chatting happily with his partner and that painful feeling of jealousy surged through his body once more.

It wasn't meant to happen like this. This wasn't supposed to happen at all.

He and Mark were supposed to be a pair. The whole reason why Donghyuck volunteered and begged Mark to volunteer as well was because he wanted to spend time with the older. He seriously wanted to do it. He just wanted Mark to see him in a nice light and think highly of him. He just wanted to impress Mark and show him how much he cares.

He just wanted to be with Mark, doing things they would never do when they're usually alone together. How did everything go wrong so quickly?

"Ok... this is just a minor setback. No worries! Haha... ha..." Jaemin looked slightly hysterical at the fact that his plan didn't work to perfection like he expected it to. Donghyuck was incredibly concerned at this point, "You know what? This is great! Absolutely fantastic! We can definitely work with this!"

"Nana... it's ok." Donghyuck tried to reassure the latter.

"Nope! I failed you. Now... I must work around this." Jaemin waved him off before snapping his fingers in thought, "It's a little too early for this, but I guess we can't do much about it. We'll just have to see if Mark gets jealous when he sees you two together."

"Jealous? Why would he get jealous?"

"Uhhh... because he can't stand you being with another guy?" Jaemin stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Ugh... there were supposed to be so many steps before the whole 'make him jealous' step. My plan is ruined!"

"Seriously, it's fine. Besides, it's not a complete loss... Seunghun seems like a nice guy, I wouldn't mind spending time with him as well." Donghyuck shrugged, trying to shine some light onto his situation.

"Nice? Seunghun's like... the total package! Have you _seen_ him?!" Jaemin waved his hands around exaggeratedly. "I still want to see if Mark would get jealous, but at the same time... I'd be happier if you start liking someone like Seunghun."

Donghyuck's eyes widened at the words. Jaemin didn't look entirely regretful of what he was saying, but he did look a little guilty. Did all his friends think that going after someone like Mark Lee was wrong?

It probably was... but Donghyuck didn't want to care.

**kim seunghun:**  
hey!  
this might be a bit awkward since we don't know each other that well... but i can't wait to hang out with you.

 **me:**  
me too!  
i'm looking forward to tomorrow.

 **kim seunghun:**  
oh great!  
can i pick you up from your dorm tomorrow? i don't want you to worry about what we should do... i know a few places that i would like to take you.

 **me:**  
really?  
that's so sweet... of course!  
i'll see you tomorrow morning then?

 **kim seunghun:**  
awesome.  
and yes... see you tomorrow.  
have a good night donghyuck-ssi.

 **me:**  
good night seunghun-ssi.

_[change **kim seunghun** to **hot football captain**?]_

_[ **yes** ] [no]_

The next day, on a bright saturday morning, Donghyuck opened the door to reveal the (strikingly) handsome sight of Kim Seunghun standing there with a smile on his face, dressed in casual clothes that were loose enough to look comfortable, but tight enough to show off just how _ripped_ he was.

"Hey! You look really cute." Seunghun complimented and Donghyuck didn't miss the way the other's eyes trailed his body generously.

"Thank you... you look great as well." Donghyuck returned the comment and closed the door behind him in case Renjun popped out and started teasing him.

"Should we go?"

Silently, Donghyuck let out a slightly defeated sigh, but shook out his thoughts and nodded in confirmation, linking arms with Seunghun as the other lead them out of the dormitory buildings. It was only twenty four hours, so he might as well spend them as happily as he could.

It was fairly early to be awake on a saturday morning, so Donghyuck didn't entirely expect to run into anyone in particular. But, as soon as they got to the front gates of the campus block, Donghyuck couldn't help the shiver running down his spine at the sight of _Mark_ standing there in a buttoned-up blouse and navy blue dress pants.

'He looks good.' Donghyuck thought to himself with a frown, 'Like he's going out on a date...'

Mark seemed to have noticed the couple walking towards the gate, he looked up and instantly, as if there wasn't anyone else around them, he locked eyes with Donghyuck.

Donghyuck had entitled himself as an expert of Mark's emotions just from the amount of time they're practically forced to spend together due to student council, as well as the well-known rivalry between them. But, in that moment, Donghyuck couldn't understand what Mark was feeling. He didn't understand why Mark was looking at him like _that_.

His eyebrows were knitted together ever so subtly and the corner of his lips had tugged down so faintly that if Donghyuck wasn't so used to looking at Mark as frequently as he did, he probably never would've recognised such small details.

"Ah, president! Good morning." Seunghun greeted Mark like the friendly person that he was.

Mark barely spared him a glance and only nodded in evident disinterest.

"You two going somewhere?" the question was directed to both of them, but Mark had kept his eyes on Donghyuck intently.

"Well, 24 hours shouldn't be spent holed up in a room, right?" Seunghun chuckled and Donghyuck wanted to laugh at how ironic that sounded because, if he had been lucky (or maybe unlucky) enough and had gotten paired up with Mark, that's exactly what they would be doing. 

The silence between them was slowly becoming unbearable and Donghyuck shifted uncomfortably on his foot. He couldn't stand to be under Mark's scrutinizing gaze anymore, knowing that he would only get more upset if he did. So, he tugged on Seunghun's arm to get his attention and pulled on a bright smile.

"Should we go? I don't want to waste a single minute."

Seunghun must've been deeply affected by such words since a blush rose high on his cheeks and he started stuttering helplessly.

"Uhh... y-yes! Yes! I... w-we... let's g-go.... yeah." he stumbled with his words and Donghyuck couldn't help but let out a heartfelt laugh, completely missing the way Mark only scoffed and rolled his eyes at them.

Donghyuck moved past Mark and held onto Seunghun's arm tightly, trying not to look back as he noticed a girl that he remembered to be the one paired with Mark for the event, rush over towards the gate in a pretty, short dress.

He forced himself to smile at whatever Seunghun was telling him and tried to ignore the aching feeling in his chest when he saw the way Mark stared the girl up and down before taking her hand and bringing her close.

He continued walking, pretending that he didn't wish it was him instead who Mark looked at in such a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh this chapter is so meehhhh... sryy if it wasn't particularly good... whoops.
> 
> i can't wait to post the upcoming chapters tho hehehehehe
> 
> (we got nct 2020 content today!! words can't describe how happy i was to see HYUCK AND YANGIE IN THE SAME VIDEO IXJAIUWHCXNDSMJ that was the BEST thing EVER!!! omg nct 2020 is actually our for people's lives... they're gonna be so fcking amazing imma cri-)


	14. twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh i hate this chapter :((
> 
> idk why... i don't think this one's very good... i'm sorry :(
> 
> BUT THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE ENDLESS SUPPORT!! why is this book getting so popular?!! i don't understand!! :'((

"They definitely won!"

Mark clenched his fist tightly and grinded his teeth painfully slow. The entire student council was giving him a massive ass headache and he was close to just conjuring the meeting and sending everyone away.

"We should look at the other pictures as well..." Donghyuck spoke up softly, evidently shy at the attention that was brought to him.

That only seemed to annoy Mark even more as he tossed a single look in the tanned boy's direction, who was sitting adjacent to him on his left.

Two days after the whole '24-hour boyfriend/girlfriend' event, the student council committee were going through photos the 'couples' uploaded so they could decide on who the winners were. Of course, Mark had absolutely no care if he won or not, he just participated in the event and did as much as he needed to. The girl he was paired with was gratefully smart enough to realise that he was not in the mood to do anything in particular or go anywhere in particular. So they just took a couple of photos each and uploaded them like everyone else.

Donghyuck didn't do that.

He and his 'boyfriend' spent a full twenty four hours and probably more going to the most perfect date spots together and had submitted way more photos than everyone else, showing just how much fun they had.

It was difficult for Donghyuck himself. When he came back from their date, he was terribly confused. Everything didn't make sense and his heart was beating uncontrollably. He and Seunghun even texted until late into the night, getting to know each other even better and truly spending all of their twenty four hours as a fake couple to the maximum.

The entire day, he had a massive smile on his face. Seunghun made him laugh and complimented him frequently and was gentle and caring with his gestures, always making sure that Donghyuck was comfortable and didn't make anything awkward between them. They went to cafes and pet shops, they bought clothes together and walked around for hours, just talking about each other.

It was everything Donghyuck ever wanted to do on a date with his significant other and he never even told Seunghun about it. The other knew exactly what to do and took the lead on all occasions, showing just how amazing he was.

"Why bother looking at the rest when our vice president clearly submitted the best photos?" one of the student council members squealed happily, "You and Seunghun look like an actual couple! It's so cute!!"

"I agree!"

"They looked the best!"

When Mark looked over to his left, he could see Donghyuck blushing as he shrunk into his seat. Why was he reacting like that anyway? He and Seunghun weren't actually dating. Unless, Donghyuck truly liked Seunghun this entire time and he only volunteered to participate in the event for the chance of getting paired up with him.

Mark rolled his eyes at the thought and shook his head. Such things were so pointless and annoying.

"What do you think, president?" Mark lifted his head up from his arms, only realising that he hadn't said anything the entire meeting and everyone was looking at him expectantly, waiting for his response.

Mark could see Donghyuck staring at him questioningly from the corner of his eye, but he dismissed it, not wanting to ponder over the thought of the latter any longer.

"Just pick whichever you vote as best. I'll make the announcement." Mark assured, not wanting to come across as anything other than professional, because that's exactly how he felt and nothing more.

Donghyuck let his gaze linger on Mark for a little longer than he needed to. He had that same, unreadable expression that Donghyuck saw when they ran into each other at the gate a couple of days ago. The thought only made him more upset because all he could remember was the way Mark looked at the girl who was his supposed 'girlfriend' for twenty four hours. It annoyed him to no end and no matter how much fun he had with Seunghun, he really wished it was Mark he could spend the day doing such things with.

A while later, Donghyuck felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He discreetly took it out and opened the message he just got, only for his eyes to widen in surprise and his face warming up to show how flustered he was.

"Oohh~~ is that Seunghun?" the girl next to him, Joohyun, wiggled her eyebrows teasingly. It seemed to attract everyone's attention since soon, all eyes were on their vice president.

Donghyuck shrunk into himself further, suddenly shy of the attention he was always surrounded by as he read over the message.

**hot football captain**  
hey  
i know we hung out a lot over the weekend, but i can't stop thinking about you...  
would you like to go on a date with me? it can be for however long you want... not only 24 hours.

Donghyuck turned to Joohyun and started gushing to her about him, not knowing how to respond. The thought of hanging out with Seunghun again made him feel surprisingly warm inside. 

"He's super hot!! You two would look so good together!" Joohyun cooed.

"Really? He's super nice and so handsome! How should I respond?!" Donghyuck giggled, staring at the screen in hopes that some sort of answer would come into mind.

Suddenly, the loud sound of a fist banging on the table interrupted the two, startling everyone in the room.

"We're in the middle of a meeting and you two are paying more attention to _that_?!" Mark gritted, he looked so angry that everyone instantly shut up.

Donghyuck only rolled his eyes. Mark's emotions had been conflicting a lot recently and he couldn't read them at all. He didn't want to bother getting upset and annoyed at Mark when a really nice guy was currently showing interest in him.

So he simply went back on his phone and typed up a reply, instantly agreeing to the invitation with an added flirty remark, showing his own evident interest.

Mark only got more angry at that and dismissed the meeting, telling everyone that he'll make the announcement, knowing they all agreed on the photos Donghyuck and Seunghun took.

Donghyuck was being an annoying brat again and he didn't want to have to deal with that.

Meanwhile, Donghyuck thought Mark was being an indecisive, insensitive prick and didn't want to deal with the fact that every time Mark would get _that_ angry... his heart would crack just a little. He hated seeing the older like that, even though he was the cause of Mark's anger majority of the time.

Donghyuck just wanted someone to talk to. If he talked to Renjun or Jaemin, they would constantly tell him that Mark wasn't right for him and that someone like Seunghun was. He didn't want people telling him what was right and what wasn't. Jeno already landed himself into a stupid dilemma of his own, so Donghyuck didn't want to ask him either.

Kim Seunghun was nice and Donghyuck genuinely liked him enough to go to him in seek of comfort. The kind of comfort that he wanted from a friend he could rely on. Someone to just hang out with and get along with. Just having something that he desperately wanted to have with Mark - a kind relationship of any sort... it didn't have to be romantic.

But the way Mark was fuming and cursing at him, showed that they would probably never have that and Donghyuck was only holding onto the impossible.  
Donghyuck was never one to give up anyway. He'd given his heart to Mark as well as many other things... maybe everything just needed time.

"Hey..." Donghyuck offered a sincere smile when Mark opened the door.

Mark only looked at him once and turned around, leaving the door open for the younger to let himself in. 

Donghyuck didn't have enough time to get frustrated over Mark's lack of emotions. Over time, he had realised that he'd rather Mark be angry at him than not say or feel anything towards him at all.

And right now, Mark was the very feelings-devoid person Donghyuck had experienced first-hand the moment they met. He thought he cracked through that hard exterior when Mark started to become outwardly expressive with his emotions around him but, clearly, they hadn't quite reached that far yet.

Mark didn't waste any time and pushed Donghyuck onto the bed, his eyes warning him to hurry up with removing his clothes. Donghyuck understood straight away and didn't wait another second, fearing Mark would stop everything and tell him to get out if he didn't comply.

It happened every time they did it; Donghyuck always felt like Mark had the decency to hold back when they fucked. Of course, Mark was insane and the light of all of Donghyuck's desires, and the tanned boy could practically feel the way Mark would use him mercilessly, but never going over the top. It was always Donghyuck who would end up as a crumbling mess, Mark was the one that remained composed and in control, never once losing it and just continued doing whatever he liked.

Donghyuck didn't entirely have the courage to ask him about it, despite how embarrassing it was. He was nothing but a mere fuck toy for Mark to use whenever it was convenient and that was it.

And while Mark would use him, Donghyuck took his time to appreciate everything about Mark once more until they both finished and Donghyuck would have to wordlessly leave again.

Their entire relationship might as well be written down on a timetable, because everything was very scheduled.

Wake up, get dressed, go to school, argue, do work, argue some more, attend meetings, argue even more, eat, and the more arguing, go home, get dressed, meet each other, argue as usual, fuck for an hour or so, leave, sleep and then repeat.

Donghyuck knows he would be severely concerned if that didn't happen.

Kim Seunghun is really nice.

Jaemin frequently drags Donghyuck to the football fields, assuring the tanned boy that he was only there to hype him up and encourage him to talk to Seunghun (which Donghyuck refused to do).

Well, Jaemin _said_ he's there to do that. Donghyuck knows him better than that of course. He knows that Jaemin would happily sit through an hour of gruelling football practise and stare Jeno up and down, complaining and whining about how hot he is and trying to refrain himself from running onto the pitch and tackling Jeno right there and then. 

Yes. Na Jaemin has to physically control himself from running over to a _very taken man_ and asking for love from said _very taken man_.

(Donghyuck pretends not to know him)

And although football practise seems... _fun_ (?) Donghyuck would much rather be inside, on the bleachers in the courts, watching basketball practise (read: watching Mark Lee).

Even still, he smiles brightly and genuinely whenever Seunghun comes up to him and engages in small talk, only to get wolf-whistles and suggestive comments from others on the team who would've caught their exchanges.

While he's faking his interest, Donghyuck is too busy thinking about Mark and what he could possibly be doing right now. If Donghyuck had to guess, the older was probably in the library, studying for exams that were months away and doing work days before its due. Because of that, Donghyuck desperately wanted to leave the fields and go over to the library to start some work himself. Being in such an environment and knowing that Mark was probably studying his ass off, only motivated Donghyuck even more than he usually always is. 

He wanted Mark to be impressed by him and his work ethic.

He just wanted Mark to notice him more.

Later on that day, Donghyuck and Seunghun were announced as the '24-hour boyfriend/girlfriend' event winners, both receiving questionable prizes that Donghyuck had to physically be held back from tackling Jaemin for (' _stupid Na Jaemin and his stupid, inappropriate, 18+ rated brain_ '), Seunghun had decided he wanted to spend more time with Donghyuck.

In the end, Donghyuck couldn't complain. Seunghun was nice company and an overall nice person and even though Donghyuck was naturally very picky-choosey with his friends, he couldn't reject Seunghun to be a part of his very limited, very exclusive friendship list.

And so, inevitably, they started hanging out more and growing closer.

Donghyuck saw no problem with it and wouldn't understand if anyone else did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i mentioned this in some replies to comments from the previous chapter, but mark's pov will be intertwined with hyuck's at random occasions throughout the chapter, some more subtly than others, but i hope you don't mind :)
> 
> if it gets too confusing in the future or you don't like it... i'll try to change it :)))
> 
> thank you so much for reading and the mounts of support!! thank you thank you!!!! <3 and again, sorry for the crappy chapter... i'll try to make up for it next chapter :D
> 
> (nct 2020 past and future: ether was the best thing that happened to me alongside the AMAZING SUPER ONE ALBUM~!!! no one doing it like them :'))


	15. thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good morning!! (well, it's morning here... but good day, or good evening, or good night for those around the world!!)
> 
> the weather's kinda meh today, its 12:27 pm rn anddddd it's my birthday!!! :D yayyy!! i am finally 17!! whoop whoop!!
> 
> and because you guys supporting this fic and encouraging me with your painfully sweet comments, i feel like i've received a really great gift!! thank you so so much for your support!! i've already surpassed 2k hits and last time i check... it was at 2020 hehhehehe!
> 
> besides that, i have nct and superm to thank for making 2020 a better year, despite it being very unbearable at times :'))
> 
> hope you like this chapter!!! :)

Mark is seriously pissing him off.

Donghyuck doesn't think he can stand to be around the older for another moment.

It's simple logic, really. If Mark wants to give him more work to do for the student council, then he also has to decrease the amount of sexcapades they have because with the amount of classwork, homework, student council work, theatre club work, self-study and then meeting up with Mark... Lee Donghyuck does not have enough fucking time in the day to do every single fucking thing at once.

One would think that, by now, Mark would understand that it's not only him that's busy as fuck and doesn't even have that much time in his schedule for himself. Donghyuck is equally as busy! He also has to study to fight against Mark for spot as number one. They're always neck and neck, only ever zero-point-zero-one percent away from each other and even then, Mark still comes out as first.

Feelings or no feelings, Donghyuck does _not_ do well with being second place.

So, Mark giving him more paperwork to do for student council, more jobs to carry out for the teachers and the principal, more errands to run around school, is really not helping him one bit in his fight to be number one.

Naturally, the only suitable method of retaliation against such unfair treatment is to _rebel_.

Donghyuck just so happens to excel in such an area.

The next time Mark gives him a shit-ton of work to do with no given context or help, Donghyuck will simply _refuse_ to do it.

That's it.

He's not Mark's personal assistant. He's the fucking student council vice president!

Seemingly satisfied with his plan, Donghyuck walks into the student council room with a big grin on his face and tries to ignore the way Mark looks at him questioningly.

And when Mark dumps a large stack of papers and tells him to get them done by the end of tomorrow, Donghyuck only purses his lips and gives Mark a tight-lipped smile.

_'Smile through the pain'_

He can't expect Mark to feel anything else for him if he can't even earn his respect. Mark has to respect him before he can do anything else and that means he has to be more considerate when it comes to work distribution.

A burst of satisfaction does end up coursing through him when the next day follows and Mark asks for the work, only for Donghyuck to respond that he hasn't done it. The look of sheer annoyance and anger on Mark's face made Donghyuck feel proud, realising that he had more power for himself than he expected.

If Mark truly cared about him and actually needed him as a vice president, then Donghyuck expects Mark to come up to him _first_ and ask _nicely_ for the work to be done. Not for it to be thrown onto his desk and then given the silent treatment.

Donghyuck _will_ work his way to earn Mark's respect.

"Is it just me... or does the president look more pissed than usual?" Renjun takes a long sip from his drink carton, eyes analysing the said boy sitting across the cafeteria from them.

"Does he?" Donghyuck mustered up an amused grin as he spared a glance in Mark's direction, chuckling at the way Mark was angrily stabbing his food - 'cute'.

"Oh no... what did you do this time?" Jeno looked at the tanned boy suspiciously.

"Why are you making it sound like everything that annoys Mark Lee has something to do with me?" Donghyuck scoffed at the loyalty his friends had for him.

The other three boys gave him deadpanned looks, wondering if Donghyuck actually needed an answer to that question when they were all going to end up saying the same thing anyway.

Donghyuck only pouted in betrayal, his traitorous friends think so lowly of him...

"Mark's been giving me a shit-ton of work to do for student council. Since the '24 hours boyfriend/girlfriend' event was a success, Principal Choi has been grilling us into making sure more events like that happen and that everything has to be published onto the school magazine for the public to see. We've been coming up with ideas, but every idea has a lot of paperwork that comes with it and everything needs to be planned beforehand if we want an event to happen. I don't have that much time and I swear Mark's giving me way more work than he's allowed to! That isn't fair... I barely have any time to _breathe_ , never mind sleep."

Donghyuck knew he shouldn't be complaining. Being part of student council was incredibly demanding and took a great toll on his school life as a whole. He loved every bit of it, of course. And now that he'd been refusing to do his work, he had time to spare that he, admittedly, didn't know what to do with.

The one thing that made him such a perfect member of the student council committee was his love of staying busy. He loved working and making sure every part of his schedule was filled with something to do. Even though it was hard to keep up with and sometimes, he wished he didn't take the courses he took or didn't pride himself in making sure the theatre club was as active as it should be - Donghyuck never minded the extra work, in the end.

"So... you refused to do your work and Mark's annoyed because of that?" Jaemin enquired, summarising the other's disposition simply.

"Basically... yeah." Donghyuck looked over at Mark and noticed the frustrated expression on the older's face. When Mark looked up and glanced around, they ended up locking gazes and instead of the usual snarky glare Mark would give him, Donghyuck was surprised to see the older simply shake his head and look back down at the table, presumably where his own work was.

Donghyuck brushed off the weird feeling in his chest. He wasn't going to feel bad. He had too much to do and if he wanted Mark to truly like him... he wanted to show the older that he wasn't going to be someone he could just mess with and pile work on whenever he wanted.

"Did you finish the report I sent you?" Mark asked him the next time they were alone in the student council room.

"Report? What repo- ahhhhh _that_ report." Donghyuck mused, before grinning cheekily, "Nope. I think it was sent to junk mail... like majority of the emails I get from you end up in."

"What about the midterm exam speech? Have you finished writing that up? We're supposed to give a speech to the first years." Mark sighed, rubbing his temple firmly.

"Oh that... yeah I haven't done that either. Shame..." Donghyuck shrugged carelessly.

"Ok then. Have you handed in your resignation slip for the student council committee?"

"No... I've not done that eith- wait... WHAT?!" Donghyuck snapped his neck over to where Mark was sitting behind his desk, "Why would I need a resignation slip? I don't want to resign!"

"And I don't want you as vice president... we can't all have what we want." Mark got up and walked towards Donghyuck's desk, picking up the folder of sheets he had given Donghyuck only a few minutes ago, "You won't need these anyway."

"I need them!" Donghyuck yelled, snatching the folder back.

"Why? You already know if you don't do them, then I'll just finish everything up instead. It's not like you'd get into trouble or anything." Mark made a move to grab the folder back, but Donghyuck shifted away, backing himself into the wall behind him.

"No. It's _my_ work." he argued.

"The entire week I've given you _your_ work and you've not done any of it. Why bother doing it now?" Mark stepped closer to him.

Donghyuck could only stare at him with wide eyes, clutching the folder to his chest protectively. He didn't even consider what happened to the work he never did. He thought Mark would make someone else do it, but apparently not. It was then when Donghyuck realised how much Mark took responsibility of everything that happened on the student council committee. Any mistake anyone made would go through him and only he had the power to correct it or make adjustments to assure the principal that everything was running as smoothly as it should be.

"And this is why you could never be president of the student council." Mark sighed, eyeing the piles of unfinished work that Donghyuck had left on his desk before looking back at the folder in the latter's arms.

" _Excuse_ me?!" Donghyuck shrieked in utter disbelief; the one thing Mark had that he so desperately wanted... and _now_ Mark was rubbing it in his face?!

"How could you be president when you're just so childish, Donghyuck?!" Mark yelled, slamming a hand on the desk and startling the other boy, who clearly didn't expect such a reaction, "There's a lot of work for us to do, which is why we split it up accordingly. If you decide you don't want to do your share of the work and dump it on me instead, even when you know that I'm already busy as fuck... why bother being on the committee? I'm sure there are other people who'd be more suitable to take up your place! What's the point in showing up every day and sitting behind your desk, only to decide that you're not actually going to do the work?!" 

Donghyuck's mouth fell open slightly as guilt consumed him. He knew that Mark was already an incredibly busy person, having picked some of the hardest and most demanding courses (Donghyuck would know better than anyone) as well as having practises and fulfilling his duty as basketball captain at the same time. On top of that, Donghyuck literally refused to do his work, leaving Mark to finish it all in his place so the principal wouldn't get mad. But, instead of being considerate, he just gave Mark extra work to do to add to his already break-less schedule.

"You probably think I only give you work to make your life miserable. You probably think that, just because I rely on you more than anyone else on the committee, that I'm out to get you." Mark started walking back towards his desk, clutching his hair tightly. 

'Mark... _relies_ on me?' Donghyuck found himself thinking.

"Fuck it whatever... don't do the work if you don't want to. Don't be vice president if you don't want to. Clearly, everything has to run the way you want it to anyway." Mark shook his head and Donghyuck felt a familiar pang in his heart at the thought of Mark being disappointed in him, "Just... leave please, I'm tired." he waved off, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Don't come tonight, or do if you want to... I really don't care."

If Donghyuck wasn't already upset enough, the way Mark brought up their arrangement only added to his misery. Of course it hurt that Mark wouldn't be any different whether he came or not and Donghyuck knew that very well. If he didn't come, Mark could easily find someone else... it had never been a problem before.

But Mark was disappointed in him and it was all he could think about. Donghyuck couldn't describe how much he _hated_ the feeling. How the thought of Mark only growing more tired of him made Donghyuck feel just as worthless as Mark would say he was.

If Donghyuck looked at Mark properly, he could see just how stressed and tired and sleep-deprived the older was. Mark didn't always look healthy for someone who was a sports representative and captain of the basketball team. His eyes heavy with dark bags, his cheeks shallower and his face sullen.

Mark wasn't impressed by him, nor was he going to respect him any time soon.  
Donghyuck had went around his problem completely wrong. He wanted Mark to need him. But, instead, Mark took the work on for himself and did everything by himself. He did it wordlessly and the only way he expressed how annoyed he was at Donghyuck was through his facial expressions, like how he shook his head in the cafeteria a couple of days ago, disappointment etched all over his face.

It was like nothing Donghyuck ever felt before. It wasn't the same as disappointing his teachers because really, he's never done that. He's experienced people of sorts being disappointed in him, but he made up for it just as quickly and proved them wrong.

But, when Mark was disappointed in him, Donghyuck could feel his entire body fill up with dread and negative thoughts.

Mark would never be impressed with him if he keeps this up.

Donghyuck stared at Mark's desk before looking at the plastic folder in his hands. A displeased growl left his lips as he screwed his eyes shut in annoyance and frustration.

'Don't fucking lecture me, Mark Lee.'

"Oh... so you decided to come?" Mark raised an eyebrow at the tanned boy once he opened the door, shifting to the side to let the younger in, but the latter didn't move.

Instead, Donghyuck remained on his spot and stuck out his arms, shoving a clear, plastic folder into Mark's chest.

"Sorry, I was insensitive and didn't think about you when you were clearly already busy." Donghyuck apologised, head trained to face the floor, unable to meet Mark's gaze. "I've finished the work. This won't happen again, hyung."

With that, Donghyuck turned around and left, not giving Mark a chance to say anything in response, and hoped that Mark wouldn't stay angry at him. 

In any other situation, Donghyuck thinks he probably wouldn't care a single bit and wouldn't get that affected by it.

But, Mark always had a way of making Donghyuck do everything his nature was against doing.

He just hoped it was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! hope this chapter was ok!! for those who may have recognised, i post around the same time every day (after i come back from school), but now that it's been almost two weeks since i published this fic, i think the support i've received is way too much lmaoo..
> 
> anyway! bc it's my birthday and i feel incredibly happy with the amount of support all you lovelies have given me, i'm posting a chapter now and then i'll post another one around usual time!! 
> 
> thank you so much for reading and commenting!!! <33 and thank you for 130+ kudos!! that's insane!!!


	16. fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised - a double update!! :))
> 
> thank you so much for the birthday wishes!! i had a really great day that only got better with taeyong's communication centre as well as 127 learning chinese with renle!!! i think that video is quite fitting for this chapter lmao.
> 
> hope you like it!!

Everyone who has a crush on Mark Lee, have their own reasons.

Donghyuck doesn't entirely have just one specific reason or a collection of reasons. He just... likes Mark.

His feelings for Mark are more unexpected than the boy himself and that's saying something because, in Donghyuck's opinion, Mark is very unexpected.

When Donghyuck was making his way to the cafeteria, he decided to go through the courtyard, just to get some air. There was no one around, yet he still heard quiet sniffling sounds of a person _crying_ (Donghyuck really didn't like the sound of crying). Worriedly, he looked around to see if he could find anyone and it wasn't until he looked behind the abandoned garden supplies shed the school gardener used to use, did he find out who it was, well... who _they_ were.

There was a small boy with ink blue, curly hair, crying into his hands. The other person surprised Donghyuck even more once he identified them.

Mark leaned against the wall, crouching next to the small boy and patting his head soothingly, muttering quiet 'it's ok's and 'don't worry too much' to the smaller.

Donghyuck had never seen this side of Mark, so you couldn't blame him for being surprised. Mark was never one to openly show affection, of course he cared for _some_ people, but was never seen comforting them when they cry.

Donghyuck was certain he was probably one of the very, _very_ few people who got to see Mark like _this_ , and he'll take it to his grave if he had to.

Soon, Donghyuck began to worry about the crying boy's shirt sleeve that he was currently burying all his tears and snot into, and it seemed that Mark, unhelpfully, didn't have any tissues.

Deciding that it'd do more harm if he just stood there, Donghyuck made his presence known and leaned down in front of the crying boy, ignoring Mark's frantic stares, as if he had just been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. Instead, Donghyuck took out a tissue from its packet and dangled it in front of the small boy, waiting patiently until the latter stopped crying enough to look up and take it.

When the boy did, Donghyuck only offered a smile and watched as the smaller boy's eyes sparkled a little. His skin was pale, save for his cheeks which were now pink and blotchy with tears and his lean eyes were blood-shot and held so much sadness in them that Donghyuck felt his heart break at the sight.

"I didn't mean to intrude, I just heard someone crying and thought I should find them." Donghyuck explained quietly, not wanting to speak any louder in case he ruined the mood.

The small boy only nodded and mustered up a rather forced smile, just to show his gratefulness.

"Should I go? It seems as if Mark hyung was doing a good job making sure you're ok..." he continued, tilting his head over to his left to gesture to the older boy.

"M-Mark hyung?" the boy stuttered, his voice high from crying so much as he looked at the said boy.

Mark gave a small, genuine smile and even though it wasn't directed at him, Donghyuck still felt his heart flutter at the sight.

"I didn't get your name." Mark started, "Are you a first year? You look new..."

The boy only nodded before looking back at Donghyuck, mentally telling the tanned boy that he didn't want him to go either, which Donghyuck seemed to understand straight away as he remained unmoving.

"Chenle. My name's Chenle... and I only recently transferred here from my old college in China." the boy - Chenle - explained before letting out a humourless laugh, "And I'm currently hiding away and crying my eyes out like a pathetic kid."

"Woah, woah... you're not pathetic." Donghyuck stopped him instantly. "If you're upset, it's only natural that you might cry."

"Why are you upset?" Mark asked, suddenly getting comfortable against the brick, mossy wall.

"Everything is just... new to me and I don't really know anyone here. Even though I practised my Korean really hard to make sure that I could communicate with everyone... I still don't know how to approach them." Chenle explained, his figure instantly deflating as he recounted his problem.

"Mhmm... first few days can be rough. But, hey... I have a friend who's also Chinese and Mark hyung has a few too. If it makes you comfortable, we can introduce you to them first?" Donghyuck suggested and Mark nodded at the idea.

"Thank you..." Chenle searched Donghyuck's face for a name to call him and the tanned boy only laughed at his cuteness.

"Donghyuck. Lee Donghyuck, second year, student council vice president." he introduced himself, before looking over to Mark, "You already know that's Mark. Third year and student council president so..." he leaned in closer to Chenle so Mark couldn't hear, "... don't get on his bad side."

Chenle looked between the two boys before looking at Mark and visibly gulping as if Mark's general presence intimidated him.

"You brat, what are you telling him about me?!" Mark pushed Donghyuck until the kneeling boy toppled over.

"I didn't say anything, idiot! Stop being mean! Now my jeans are all messed up because of you." Donghyuck frowned, rubbing over the kneecaps of his jeans to get rid of the grassy green stains on them.

"Stop being so dramatic. No one asked you to butt in... I had this perfectly under control." Mark rolled his eyes.

"Yeah sure... with your coldness, you'd just end up making Chenle cry again."

"Oh yeah? Well, you-"

"Are you two dating?" Chenle interrupted the two boys' seemingly pointless argument.

Donghyuck succumbed to a furiously blushing and stuttering mess, waving his hands around and trying to cover his face.

"N-no! I w-would never date him! Ew!" he cursed at himself for sounding so pathetic.

"I already hate being around him. Why would I voluntarily decide I want to be around him even more by dating him?" Mark rolled his eyes and pulled Donghyuck's ear harshly, earning a loud yelp from the latter.

"Ow! That hurts, hyung! Stop it you asshole!" Donghyuck whined and, for the first time, Chenle laughed, genuinely and heartfully. High pitched, squeaky noises escaping his plump lips as he clapped his hands together and toppled over onto the grass, eyes squinting in crescents and his overall mood brightening up immensely.

"Hyungs are funny..." his laughter died down to a giggle.

Donghyuck let out a soft breath and could feel the grip on his ear being released. He was eternally glad to see Chenle smile, his previous worry for the small boy instantly disappearing.

"Do you feel a little better now?" he asked, pulling Chenle to sit up by his hands and reaching out to fix the younger's hair, which the latter instantly leaned into.

"Yeah... thank you." Chenle nodded and surprised Donghyuck by giving him a hug.

Before Donghyuck even had time to move, Chenle moved over and gave Mark a quick hug and Donghyuck wanted to laugh at the way Mark visibly stiffened.

"This is too much affection for one day." Mark awkwardly stood up and brushed his trousers, waiting until the other two sorted themselves out as well. "Come on, we'll take you to the cafeteria."

Chenle only nodded in response and walked behind the two student council members. If he thought about it, he would've expected the student council president and vice president to be more... strict? In those cliché shows he used to watch when he was younger, student council members were always cold-hearted and bitter.

But, when he looked at how Mark and Donghyuck bickered constantly as they walked, earning a surprising amount of attention to what Chenle concluded to be from their admirers, he couldn't help but think the dynamic between the two was rather amusing and a little strange.

"Surely, there's at least one person who's offered you a hand to help you settle in?" Donghyuck enquired, snapping the younger out of his previous thoughts as he looked ahead at the two boys.

"Actually..." Chenle started quietly, thinking back to someone in specific who he met on his very first day here. "There _is_ one person."

Before Mark or Donghyuck could even question it, as soon as they stepped into the cafeteria, a tall, lanky boy came charging towards them. Well, charging towards Chenle, to be more precise.

"Zhong Chenle! Where the hell were you?!" the tall, lanky boy exclaimed, shaking Chenle back and forth by his shoulders, before leaning close to the smaller boy's ear, "And why are you with the president and vice president? Did you get into trouble already? It's literally your first week here!"

"Jisung, calm the fuck down. I can feel my brain rattling in my head." Chenle tried to push the taller boy, Jisung, off.

"Whoops... sorry." Jisung chuckled apologetically.

"And no, I'm not in trouble." Chenle assured before looking at Mark and Donghyuck who seemed to be too invested in whatever they were arguing about to notice the younger boys, "They just... helped me out. I'm fine now. Let's get something to eat."

"Oh, Chenle!" Donghyuck called out to the boy, purposely shoving Mark to the side, earning an annoyed grumble from the older.

"Yes, hyung?"

"If you ever get upset again, come to the student council room. Mark and I are always there if you need us." Donghyuck assured, "I'll also make sure our friends know you so you'll feel less lonely. Once you're surrounded by people, college will pass by like a breeze." Mark nodded in confirmation beside him, although he looked like he wanted to strangle Donghyuck some time soon.

Chenle was eternally grateful he went to a college with a nice student council committee.

"Thank you, hyung. Seriously... both of you." Chenle smiled and nodded at the words, already feeling a hundred times better as he turned over to Jisung who was now looking at him with a worried expression, probably from what he just heard. "Let's go, Ji!"

"But, why-" Jisung's words got cut off when the smaller boy started dragging him off.

"Ugh, Mark hyung... why won't you be nice to me?!" Donghyuck cried out once the two were gone.

"When you start behaving less like a spoilt brat and actually focus on your academics." Mark clicked his tongue and started walking towards his table, "Now shut up and get lost, idiot."

Donghyuck frowned at the cold words. But, even through his harshness, Donghyuck couldn't help but admire how versatile Mark was. Every part of the older's unexpected and well-rounded personality intrigued him and he just didn't know how he could like a person more than he already did.

"Sorry, I left somet- oh" Donghyuck stopped midway when he entered the student council room, only for his eyes to instantly land on Mark's figure which was currently hunched over his desk, face buried in his arms.

Cautiously, he makes his way over to the president's desk before kneeling down to reach eye-level with the other, surprised to see the older sleeping, all while clutching a note that looked painfully similar to the one Donghyuck wrote for him a while back. He couldn't help but smile, a fluttering feeling tickling his heart.

"Hmph... you look cute when you sleep but you're a dick every other time." Donghyuck huffed in annoyance, internally cooing at the way Mark had his lips pursed in a thin line and his eyebrows knitted together subtly, assuming the older must've been worn out from the amount of work he had to do. Donghyuck was eternally relieved Mark finally took some time to rest.

_Still._

He hated this. He hated how his feelings always got the better of him and left him so vulnerable and useless. For once, he wished he had better control of how he felt.

"You're so mean..." Donghyuck sighed, laying his head on the table, just a few inches away from the older. He glanced over Mark's sleeping expression and wondered what it would feel like to wake up to him in the mornings. "I like you, president. I like you a lot and I know you'll never like me back." he sighed quietly, his voice barely rendering as coherent words as he reached out to brush a few strands of Mark's hair out of his face, letting his fingertips linger on the soft, pale skin a little longer.

"Should I just listen to my friends and try to forget my feelings for you? If I do that, then... you won't have to worry about annoying and naïve boys like me chasing after you, right? All I am to you is annoying and stupid and I'll never reach your level. I'll never reach the standards of Mark Lee." 

He didn't know when this started, but lately... all Donghyuck found himself doing was burying himself in self-hatred and pity. Why couldn't he do anything right? Why did Mark think of him as nothing but useless and pathetic? Even when they argue, it doesn't feel light-hearted like some assume it is. Mark genuinely hates him and Donghyuck wanted nothing more than to change that.

"But it's ok, I know I cause you a lot of stress and I can be kind of stupid sometimes. I'm trying and even still, I appreciate it when you help me, even though it's not very often because you're a selfish asshole." he grumbled, before softening at the painfully vulnerable and simply _real_ sight of Mark in front of him. "I don't think I'll ever tell you my feelings, but I like you, Mark."

Now that Donghyuck could see him like this, he finally accepts just how gorgeously stunning Mark actually is. Such a fine human being with blessed facial structure and the softest of slopes that Donghyuck desperately wanted to run his fingers over. Every defined feature of his face, over the curve of his eyebrows and the bow of his palette pink lips - _everything_. Mark has never looked softer and Donghyuck wanted to be the only one to see him like this. The only one who could see Mark so vulnerable and defenceless. The only one who could see Mark when he wasn't the president of the student council, when he wasn't the captain of the basketball team, when he wasn't the epitome of everyone's fantasies. Donghyuck simply wanted Mark... when he was just _Mark_. In all his perfect human nature as just another creation within this world. Mark didn't need to be anything else. And Donghyuck wanted to protect him with his life.

He doesn't know why he's suddenly confessing his feelings, or where he found the courage from, but Donghyuck couldn't stop himself from leaning in, his heart beating erratically when he felt his lips brush against Mark's. Quickly, he pressed a soft peck on the older's lips and pulled back instantly, fingers reaching up to touch his own lips in wonder. 

He felt like melting, it was a completely one-sided kiss, yet butterflies still erupted in his stomach and Donghyuck could feel himself fall deeper all over again, even when he just momentarily started thinking about forgetting his feelings for the student council president who stole his heart entirely. 

That was their first kiss.

Throughout the entire time they've been having sex, they've never shared a kiss and it had previously traumatised Donghyuck to the point where he fell into a pit of insecurities.

Never once did Mark kiss him when he had Donghyuck pinned against the wall or the table. Never once did Mark kiss him when he pounded into the younger on his bed. Donghyuck let the older do whatever he wanted to his body graciously, he took whatever the older gave him and then left before Mark could say anything. He knew Mark would only ask him to leave anyway, so why go through the awkward embarrassment of having to hear it when he could just leave without another word?

He wanted to kiss Mark more. He wanted Mark to kiss him. 

At this rate, whenever he remembers how much Mark hates him... he can't help but want the impossible.

And later, when he had left... Mark woke up, wondering why his lips were tingling with warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate proofreading my work, but i don't mind it when i've got superm singing drip motivating me whoops- 
> 
> heads up!! i'm actually so looking forward to updating tomorrow!! i can hardly wait!! tomorrow's chapter will be very different and i can't wait for you to read it!!! anyway... i hope you liked this chapter!!
> 
> maybe you've considered these past couple of chapters as filler chapters??? idk... but i really wanted to display markhyuck's dynamic more in this fic while trying to give more of an insight into mark's character as well since this book has been mainly hyuck-centric!!
> 
> thank you so so much for reading and commenting and for liking this!!! <333


	17. fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe it's bc i love renjun since he's my ult and everything... or maybe i just wanted to change the story a bit. or maybe i just like writing sentimental chapters? idk...
> 
> i really don't know why i like this chapter and i seriously can't wait to hear your thoughts about it!!! i really, really hope you like this one and if this one was ok!! :)))
> 
> thank you so so much for the support and 2.5k hits and 160 kudos!!! it means so much!! ;-;

Huang Renjun doesn't know why he got himself into this shit in the first place.

He's not dumb. Actually, on the contrary, he is very, very smart. His academic achievements and artistic nature has never failed to show off his intelligence before and, realistically, it won't fail now either.

Except, if you asked anyone, no one would understand why Renjun thought it was a good idea to involve himself in a love triangle where there is absolutely _no_ positive outcome for him.

It's probably the stupidest feeling because Renjun thought that by spending time being Jeno's fake boyfriend, they would grow closer and Jeno might see him in a hopefully _romantic_ sense.

He then came to a painfully slow realisation that such things can happen, if only your crush's crush wasn't Na motherfucking Jaemin.

Essentially, Jeno and Jaemin were probably made for each other and the only thing holding them back from being together was Renjun.

Renjun, and Jeno's stupidity.

(Renjun refuses to take all the blame... Lee Jeno is an idiot)

In the end, he just continues to sit beside Jeno and receive his affection (that Jeno himself unnaturally went over-the-top with) and forced himself to deal with the one-sidedness of his feelings.

It even got to the point where he doesn't only feel guilty for himself. He feels really guilty for Jaemin.

Jaemin looks so heartbroken and confused every time Jeno is clingy and affectionate towards Renjun. How does Jeno not see that? How is he that oblivious? They could be so much happier so much sooner! And then Renjun could finally have time for himself to get over this stupid, unrequited crush!

Actually, Jeno should take all the blame. Renjun refuses to admit he did anything wrong.

"Hey, Injun-ah~" _speak of the devil._

Renjun turned his head to the side and pulls on an unbelievably fake smile that even a stranger could tell was very forced.

"Hey, Jeno!" he greeted anyway and forced the blush on his cheeks to settle when Jeno kissed the side of his head.

'Jaemin is so lucky. He's going to be receiving this incredibly domestic affection from Jeno soon.'

"You know Hyunjin's throwing a party tonight?" Jeno reminded as if it wasn't the latest craze amongst the student body, "I'm gonna go for a bit. Jaemin and Hyuck are going as well, wanna come?"

Renjun knows that Jeno's trying to be considerate, but he isn't very good at hiding the fact that he's only going to the party for the free drinks and for Jaemin.

Still, it was nice of him to ask because there's nothing Renjun hated more than parties. But, if he doesn't go, he'll be holed up in his dorm all by himself while his friends have fun and Jeno tries to pursue Jaemin.

"Yeah, sure." he reluctantly agreed.

"Great, let's all go together." Jeno suggested with a big grin on his face.

Again, Renjun knows his intentions, but he nods in agreement anyway and makes a mental note to stick next to Donghyuck as much as he could. Maybe Chenle was going as well? If so, they can just hang out and Donghyuck can focus on trying to get Mark's attention, which he always ends up successfully doing, even if he doesn't recognise it.

(But Renjun is in no place to say that sooooo...)

So, after his last class, he heads back to his dorm, grabs something to eat with Donghyuck while also carefully listening to the cruel things Mark's said and done to him throughout the day. Then they help each other pick out outfits and get ready.

Renjun doesn't normally feel bad for people. He was the kind of person who believed that sympathy would never help a person as much as they thought it would. He would much rather a solid solution to the problem or just complete silence with silent comfort.

But, he feels bad for Donghyuck.

His best friend who deserves so much better than Mark Lee, but is too stubborn and, surprisingly, too in love to change his ways.

He's seen the way Mark treats Donghyuck first hand and if he were in his place, Renjun would have cut off every single emotion he had for the older and never speak to him again. He doesn't entirely understand why Donghyuck is so persistent and it seemed as if Donghyuck didn't know either.

"You look hot, Junnie~ If Jeno doesn't do a complete 360 for you, then there's plenty of fish at the party that you can choose from!" Donghyuck hugged him tightly, nothing but a pure, encouraging smile on his face.

If Mark Lee hurts his best friend in any way, Renjun will not hesitate to throw a punch on his face and step all over him because he definitely does _not_ deserve Donghyuck.

"Thanks, Hyuck. You look amazing as always." Renjun returned the compliment. He could've said it to a greater extent because Donghyuck truly was a beauty and he knew perfectly well why the entire school would be ready to kneel before him and probably ask for his hand in marriage.

The fact that they were practically soulmates was the only thing preventing Renjun from probably also falling for Donghyuck. But if that happened, Renjun would rather die than be in a relationship with him, and that went both ways - it was just the way their relationship worked... and it worked very well.

"Come on! Let's go!" Donghyuck proceeded to drag a very unenthusiastic Renjun out of the door, fully pumped for the party since it was an excuse for him to dress up, get wasted, and try to make Mark jealous (according to Jaemin, who was fully invested in trying to get Mark to show even the slightest bit of emotion towards Donghyuck).

Renjun was already regretting ever agreeing in the first place.

Yup.

Renjun didn't want anything more than to leave this party and go home.

Don't get him wrong, the party host, Hyunjin, was a super nice guy and really chill and Renjun truly did like him. But parties had never been his thing and as soon as he lost Jeno in the crowd, he was reminded exactly why.

"Here." Donghyuck handed him a red cup full of clear pink liquid.

Renjun didn't care what it was, it was probably spiked and smelled sweet enough for him to down all in one go.

"You look like you want to get more wasted than I do." Donghyuck chuckled, leaning against the wall Renjun had cornered himself into.

"I just realised something..." Renjun blurted out, putting blame on the alcohol for making him so honest all of a sudden.

"What is it?"

"... I'm just wasting my time. There's no point faking something that I want as real." he sighed, knocking his head back against the wall. "It's just making others upset and worried. If I could do something about it, I should just do it. Then those two could be happy."

"But _you_ won't be happy." Donghyuck frowned, leaning his head back as he stared up at the ceiling.

"If there's three of us, would you rather; option one: one person be happy, option two: two people be happy, or option three: none of them happy?" Renjun gives the other a deadpanned look.

"Hmm... option four: all three of them happy." Donghyuck tossed him a lop-sided grin and Renjun couldn't help but laugh at how drunk the other already looked, even though he knew very well that Donghyuck had a pretty high alcohol tolerance.

"Yeah... I'd like to figure out how to do that as well." Renjun nodded with a small laugh.

"I want to give you advice, but then you'd just call me a hypocrite." Donghyuck started after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"What advice?"

"Move on." The two words alone caused a shift in the air that both boys could feel tingling at their skin.

"Oh then yeah... that's very hypocritical of you." Renjun laughed and Donghyuck could only join in because he truly was in no place to suggest for someone to move on from their unrequited crush, since he was in the very same predicament himself.

"I'm gonna go get a refill." Donghyuck announced after a while, shaking his cup around. He looked up and noticed a few people giving him glances in blatant interest and a smirk naturally made its way onto his lips, "Actually... I'm gonna get some other things as well."

Renjun only rolled his eyes and shoved the younger boy into the crowd where people awaited him hungrily, like lions waiting to be fed. He wasn't worried in the slightest, knowing well that Donghyuck loved attention in all forms and would receive it with both hands in any given opportunity.

He stuck to the corner of the room like a wallflower and simply observed everything that went on. A part of him wanted to find Jeno and slap some sense into him. The chances of him being drunk enough to listen to Renjun's feelings and then forget about them tomorrow were very high, so Renjun didn't mind taking the risk.

He pushed himself off the wall and excused himself past a few people before making his way upstairs. He looked through a few rooms and thanked the universe that the ones he looked in were empty, just waiting for people to come in and use for their own desires sooner or later.

It wasn't until he reached the end of the hallway and found a door slightly cracked open, did curiosity get the better of him as he peaked inside, only for his eyes to widen and a sickening feeling to rise up in his throat as he noticed the painfully familiar people in front of him.

"Jeno, stop... you're drunk." Jaemin tried to push the said boy back with trembling hands on his shoulders.

"Don't push me away, Nana... you know I like you so much." Jeno mumbled, too drunk to form proper sentences as he pushed the younger boy onto the bed.

"How can you say that? You and Renjun- you shouldn't do that to him. You shouldn't do this to me..." 

"There's nothing between Renjun and I... you don't have to worry about that, I swear." Jeno chuckled deeply, caging the latter between his arms.

"W-what are you saying? Renjun will be upset... don't do this." Jaemin tried to protest, even though a big part of him just wanted to keep going.

"Your feelings are the only ones that matter to me. Just tell me how you feel... you already know I like you." Jeno leaned down dangerously close.

"Stop, Nono... this isn't right. I can't tell you how I feel when you're drunk. You don't even know what you're doing and you're gonna regret it later... so, please stop." Jaemin tried to reason with him, voice cracking in evident hurt.

"I'm not that drunk, Nana. I know what I'm saying... I like you. I seriously like you... I don't want anyone else but you." Jeno stated adamantly and firmly, as if there was nothing more important to him than the boy trapped between his arms.

"But, Renjun-" 

Jeno leaned down sharply, as if he was going to cut Jaemin off with a kiss, but before that could happen, Renjun felt a hand cover his eyes and the door shutting in front of him.

"W-what?" Renjun stuttered out, his own voice hinted with sadness at what he just saw.

"You shouldn't be looking at something like that." a deep, rich voice entered his ears and Renjun could feel his head being pressed against a firm, broad chest, "Doesn't it hurt enough to hear what they're saying?"

Renjun pushed against the body in front of him and created distance, his back meeting the wall as he looked at whoever pulled him away.

His eyes widened in surprise as he stared at the one person he definitely did not expect to see.

Lucas Wong.

"W-what do y-you want?" Renjun didn't know why he was stuttering so pathetically, but Lucas was standing right in front of him, looking like Adonis on earth and, suddenly, Renjun forgot how to breathe.

"So you're telling me that you're perfectly fine with being cast aside now knowing that the boy you have a crush on just confessed to his crush?" Lucas shoved a hand into his pocket and changed language to his more preferred-tongue; Mandarin, as if it was the most casual thing to do. Admittedly, Renjun felt a little relieved by that.

"I- what- you..." Renjun looked around desperately, quickly growing embarrassed at the way his feelings were being so easily exposed like that, "How did you even know? Have you been spying on me?"

"I have my ways of finding out." Lucas shrugged carelessly, before passing Renjun the cup that he was holding in his hand. "Here. You don't look like someone who enjoys parties, but you're here for a reason... so don't think too much. Give yourself a break."

Renjun stared down at the cup that was just given to him before looking up to watch as Lucas' figure retreated back and went downstairs.

Renjun doesn't know what about Wong Yukhei makes him so intriguing. 

He knows Lucas. Not personally, but knows enough.

If you think about Lucas, the first thing that comes to mind would be... _playboy_.

He's not heartless. Renjun assured himself to never fall for stereotypes and consider all playboys as heartless beings. But Lucas does fall under the category of being a 'no strings attached' kind of person.

_Still._

He's nice. 

And... he sees things in a kind of way that Renjun doesn't entirely understand. Which irritates him because he could proudly say that his intelligence and mental knowledge was much more credible than that of Lucas', and he knew it very well.

He also doesn't entirely understand why he's trailing back downstairs, completely forgetting about what he had previously been forced to witness, and searched for a mop of slicked, brassy gold hair in the crowd.

Lucas wasn't hard to find. Like Donghyuck, Lucas naturally garnered attention and was almost always the centre of everything.

Renjun didn't know what to do. 

All he could do was stare at the way Lucas was casually making out with a girl in the middle of the dance floor, hands all over her body, but eyes completely elsewhere.

He's strange.

But, Renjun thinks he's strange himself. He doesn't have a thing for watching people get it on - but he's very intrigued by the way Lucas _moves_.

He knows nothing about him, but when their eyes lock, something sparks up in his chest and he doesn't know how to explain it.

His entire life, he's never wished for attention, growing to hate the onlooking stares from other people and much rather preferred to be on the side-lines as his friends drifted into the middle.

They say opposites attract, but Renjun can't see much difference between him and Lucas if he really thought about it. Apart from their levels of comfort around people, Renjun doesn't think they're that different from each other at all.

And he thinks Lucas knows it too.

Because, even when his lips are locked with another, Lucas stares right at him. Even when someone else's body is against his, Lucas doesn't break contact and makes Renjun feel like he's being undressed on the spot.

And when Renjun starts to gravitate towards him, he watches as Lucas detaches himself from the girl and lets his previous partner drift off like sand in water - unimportant.

"Over it?" Lucas asked him with a knowing look on his face that makes Renjun think he doesn't need to give him any sort of answer - but he does anyway.

"Not yet." Renjun doesn't exactly know what he's referring to.

Is he really not over Jeno? Probably not. He'd be happy for him if he and Jaemin finally got together. But in the end, Donghyuck was right... what about him? What can Renjun do to be just as happy as well?

In this situation, where is option four? How can they all be happy?

"Figured." Lucas chuckled, and it wasn't in a mocking way, Renjun discovered. Instead, it eases the tension Renjun had been feeling the entire time he was at this party.

That very tension almost completely disappears when Lucas takes his hand, leads him through the crowd, steals a pack of cans of whatever beverage they contained and left the party without another word with Renjun in tow.

Renjun really didn't like parties.

"Do you do this often?" Renjun started off.

"What? Steal cute boys like you from parties they don't want to be at and drive them around in the middle of the night until they feel better?" Lucas opened one eye and gave him a look, the corner of his lips curving into a smirk when Renjun blushed furiously.

They were currently sitting on the hood of the older's car, that Renjun only recently found out he had, not knowing Lucas could drive.

"S-shut up." he averted his attention onto the can of barely drunk beer in his hand, wondering why he was even here with Lucas in the middle of an empty car parking lot of a closed down supermarket.

While he wasn't looking, Lucas shifted his attention to stare at the younger boy properly, wondering how such a boy could be so pure and unbothered in an environment that never stopped talking and doing.

Lucas had always found Renjun interesting. He just didn't know in what way. He'd already admitted to himself that he had something similar to a crush on Renjun, but then again, he wasn't that knowledgeable on love. 

Is love wanting to be with that person all the time? Making sure they weren't sad or hurt in any way? Wanting to protect them and make them happy? Wanting to know everything about them and make them feel listened to and involved? Making them feel important and not used in any way?

Because that sounded awfully and scarily similar to whatever Lucas felt for Renjun.

But, in his opinion, Renjun's a hard catch. He's smart and they both know it. He isn't someone who would willingly give away his heart away to just anyone and expect them not to break it. Heck, he doesn't even give away his phone number that easily, what was Lucas trying to expect?

"What do you want?" Renjun interrupted his thoughts.

"What do you mean?" Lucas raised a brow questioningly, a suddenly painful feeling bursting in his chest when Renjun turned around and looked at him with hazy eyes.

"You're being kind to me." Renjun stated, "You must want something in return."

Either Renjun's asked for help many times before, or hasn't asked for it at all. Which one it is, Lucas doesn't know in the slightest.

"Hmm... there's a lot of things I want." Lucas shrugged, trailing his eyes up and down Renjun's small frame, taking in how pretty he looked in just a simple, silky blouse and high waisted, skinny jeans. His smile only grew bigger when Renjun's shoulders visibly deflated and he let out a sigh, as if he could hear Lucas' thoughts and already knew what he wanted.

Lucas watched when Renjun slid off the hood of his car and stood directly in front of him. He looked around warily, despite knowing that no one would be here; but Lucas still found his reluctance amusing and cute.

When Renjun reached up to the silk bow around his neck that held the collars of his shirt together and made a move to loosen it, Lucas swiftly reached out and grabbed his hand, stopping him instantly and forcing himself not to melt at the wide-eyed look Renjun gave him.

"Cry." he simply instructed and willed himself not to chuckle when Renjun looked blatantly confused.

"W-what?"

Lucas reached down and took both of Renjun's hands into his, loving the way he could cover the latter's entire hand in his palm because of the size difference. He tugged Renjun closer, his own legs dangling off the front of his car as their faces remained a few inches apart.

"You didn't come to that party to get wasted, only to find out that the boy you like confessed to someone else and is probably doing the deed as we speak. You knew it would happen all along, but you're still not dealing with the hurt very well. You also didn't just willingly follow me, a person who you don't know very well, out of a party, leaving your friends behind without telling them where and who you were going with. Even _I'm_ surprised with how blindly you trusted me, and lost faith in yourself to the point that you were willing to undress for me in the middle of an empty car parking lot." Lucas declared with so much confidence in his voice, it should be scary, "You're not easy, Huang Renjun..."

Renjun could feel every word like a bullet through his heart. He felt something close to betrayal and humiliation, not knowing how to deal with the amount of honesty he was receiving, and that was surprising for him since _he_ was always the honest one.

"... you don't always have to the responsible one or the reliable one or the strong one that listens to other people's problems but doesn't know how to tell people your own. You can get upset too..." Lucas pressed their foreheads together, "so you can cry, if you want. It would probably reassure me more."

Renjun realised then and there that he had greatly underestimated Wong Yukhei. That all he ever saw was a tall playboy who only messed around, and the only reason why he was in such a prestigious college like theirs was because he was a star basketball player and was probably expected to have a career in such a path and appear on TV as a famous celebrity, surrounded by money, cars, girls and fame. He even disregarded the fact that Lucas was in his psychology class, being the only course they shared, and he only just remembered how quiet Lucas was in those classes. He's quiet because he _understands_. He understands better than anyone else and Renjun never saw it. All he saw was a tall, dangerously handsome guy who he had no means to cross paths with because, for some reason, he thought that it would only lead to pain. 

But when he starts crying, as if on command to Lucas' request, he realised that his perceptions of Lucas were just the same as everyone else's and just as far from the truth. 

Renjun doesn't feel bad for people. He doesn't believe in sympathy.

And, after crying onto Lucas' shoulder as the older hugged him tightly and patted the back of his head-

Renjun doesn't feel bad for Lucas.

He doesn't feel guilty for making such assumptions about him when, in the end, no one saw through Renjun like Lucas just did.

He doesn't feel bad for Lucas.

Renjun felt bad for himself.

He felt bad for not being able to take his own advice and find someone worthy of his love, the kind of love he nurtured and cherished deep within his heart in hopes that, one day, someone would be willing and reciprocal enough to receive it.

"Thank you." he mumbled quietly into Lucas' neck, letting a small and almost hopeful smile appear on his lips when he caught a glimpse of the way the older's ears tinted red at the edges.

"It's ok. Besides, it would probably hurt your pride if someone saw you crying... so I promise not to tell anyone." Lucas joked, clearly attempting to lighten the mood, which Renjun appreciated as they pulled apart from each other, suddenly flustered with their newfound intimacy.

"That would probably save my dignity... so yes, please keep this to yourself." Renjun chuckled and felt his heart flip a few times when Lucas laughed as well, his smile stretching wide, showcasing a set of pearly white teeth. Renjun thought that Lucas' smile didn't match the rest of him or his personality. His smile reminded him of a little kid, bright with wonder. Somehow, Renjun found that incredibly endearing.

"This will probably sound weird but... can you take me back to the party?" Renjun asked once they hopped back into the car after he finished drying his tears, "I don't want to leave my friends there. Especially, Donghyuck... he got himself into a bigger mess than I did."

"Really?" Lucas raised a brow, suddenly interested.

"Yeah... but he made me promise not to tell anyone. Sorry..." Renjun frowned, genuinely feeling bad that he couldn't tell Lucas, especially after the kindness the older showed him. Kindness... and probably something else.

"It's fine. I'm not the type who's interested in gossip anyway." Lucas assured and Renjun smiled at that, mentally agreeing with the words because Lucas really didn't seem like that kind of person. "I'll take you back to the party... in exchange for something."

"What is it?" suddenly, Renjun grew shy under Lucas' gaze, his cheeks burning up when Lucas moved closer towards him over the middle section of his car.

_A kiss?_

Did he want a kiss?

Renjun melted at the idea and leaned in as well, blinking his eyes closed as he could feel a hot breath on his cheeks.

"Your number."

Renjun snapped his eyes open at the words that interrupted his thoughts. He stared at Lucas, who was now grinning victoriously as if he was fully intended on teasing the younger.

Lucas laughed when Renjun almost threw himself back against the window, his face evidently flushed in embarrassment since he knew he completely misinterpreted the situation.

Renjun only glared at him, not appreciating the way his feelings were being played with like that. He takes back everything he said: Lucas is a jerk.

"Why do you want my number?" he huffed, crossing his arms.

"I've heard from a few people that you don't give your number out to just anyone and that people need to ask for it from you directly if they want it. Otherwise, they'll probably end up with a dislocated arm." Lucas chuckled, albeit nervously as he thought back to what Hendery told him.

'Ahh... he's learned from Yangyang's mistakes...' Renjun thought to himself with a sly smirk, mentally patting himself on the back for having such power over _these_ people.

"Well... I guess you can have it. Since you were nice today and because you actually asked." Renjun shrugged nonchalantly, reaching the palm of his hand out for Lucas to place his phone in; which the older did with an amused chuckle.

"I'm truly honoured." he rolled his eyes as he took his phone back and shook his head with a fond smile once he eyed the contact name Renjun saved his number under.

He decided to change it.

_[change **heartbroken renjunnie :'(** to **cute but heartbroken renjunnie :)**?]_

_[ **yes** ] [no]_

Lucas made a mental note to fix Renjun's broken heart.

He knew that it wasn't Renjun's fault that he got his hopes up and involved himself in a fake relationship. But, he also knew that Renjun was much smarter than that and deserved better.

Lucas wanted to be smarter. To be the person Renjun deserved and, every time he glanced to his left to look at the starry-eyed boy who was now staring out of the window, a spark of hope ignited in his heart as he though that... _maybe_ he really could be the one Renjun was ready to give his love to.

Just maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lucas is so so so so cute :'((( i really love him
> 
> and i was super happy today to see jisung and jaehyun on awsaz (and then jaemin and johnny next season!!) they're so cuteee and adorable :((
> 
> ANNNDD!!! 99 linerz on welcome to sun and moon!! it kinda fits this chapter since 99 line was mentioned here and it was a luren chapter!! so so amazing!! i hope they do 97 line and 96 line and 95 line and 00 line and 01 line!! that would be so amazing!! and then jungwoo can go with anyone he wants bc he's part of it all lmao
> 
> i'm seriously loving these nct 2020 interactions!!
> 
> i actually wrote this chapter over the summer, when nct 2020 seemed more like a distant dream than anything else lmao... so i'm so happy to see everyone together again!! ;-;
> 
> anyway!! thank you for reading!!i really hope you like this chapter since this one was a little different hehehe... expect some clarification with nomin soon as well!!! :))
> 
> thanks for reading!!! <33


	18. sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wondering if this chapter's kinda random or not lmao
> 
> anyway! hope you enjoy!!
> 
> also!! happy birthday to our lovely macau prince hendery!!! our wonderful kunhang who i can't wait to see more of in the future as well!! i hope you have an amazing day and i'm so grateful i fell in love with you!! you make wayv and nct whole!! <33

"Hyung... can I integrate over to your friendship group?" Donghyuck asked in all seriousness, "Mine is kinda awkward right now."

"No. Don't come anywhere near me outside of student council related stuff." Mark replied sharply without a beat of hesitation as he tapped the stack of papers in his hand against the surface of his desk.

" _Pleeaasseee_ ~~" Donghyuck whined, "I think Jeno and Jaemin hooked up at Hyunjin's party last night and Renjun found out. Now he's not talking to either of them. And I think Jaemin found out that Jeno and Renjun were just fake dating to find out his feelings for Jeno... so now Jaemin's not talking to either of them. And Jeno probably also found out that Renjun had a crush on him and didn't know he ended up using Renjun like that... so now they're-"

"-also not talking to each other. Yeah, I get it... where do I come into this?" Mark let out an annoyed sigh, clearly very uninterested in whatever Donghyuck had to say.

"Just listen to my problems and stop being an asshole!" Donghyuck complained, kicking his legs around under his desk like a little kid.

"Ok. I don't care what you do." Mark shook his head in defiance, "Your problems have got nothing to do with me."

"But you're the student council _president_." Donghyuck reminded him as if people addressed him as anything else, "It's your _duty_ to help students with their problems."

"Donghyuck, I'm going to get seriously annoyed." Mark rubbed his temple and leaned back in his chair. "You have plenty of people to hang out with, just go to them."

"But I don't want to ditch my friends!!"

"Then stay with them?! I don't know?!"

"God... you're rubbish at this." Donghyuck rolled his eyes with a huff, "Useless..."

Mark only gritted his teeth and screwed his eyes at the younger boy, wondering what he did to deserve such treatment. Why couldn't he just stay quiet for once and not speak to him?

Unfortunately, their positions entitled them to keep in touch and constantly be around each other, so Mark had no choice but to endure it.

"Whatever. Pack your stuff up and let's go." Mark rolled his eyes and started shoving his own books into his bag.

" _Ugh_... why must we do student council work at your place?" Donghyuck whined, but contrary to his words, he started shoving his stuff away hastily, "Renjun's got plans with someone, who he refuses to tell me about, which I'm still salty at him for. So my dorm room will be empty for a while... we should just work there."

Mark paused for a moment and considered the option. But, if he was being honest with himself, if they had the dorm room to themselves, they probably wouldn't be able to get much work done. Even though the memory of him getting drunk and dragging Donghyuck off at Hyunjin's party last night to fuck him senseless was still very vivid in his brain.

He blamed his drunkenness for being so risky last night, but he was sober now, and the chances of people seeing him go into Lee Donghyuck's dorm room would start up a spur of unnecessary rumours that Mark didn't have the time to deal with.

"Shut up and do as I say. We're going to my house." he spat, probably a little harsher than intended, but it was Donghyuck, so he didn't care.

"... ok." Donghyuck stayed quiet after that, clutching his bag as he walked at a distance behind the older boy. He kept his eyes trained onto Mark's broad back and wondered how he could look so perfect from every angle.

He thought about how careless Mark decided to be last night at the party. Donghyuck was busy minding his own business, dancing with basically everyone, until Mark came out of no where and dragged him off. Of course, people noticed them and the only thing they could do was whisper like they did the very first time they saw such a scene happen. They would just whisper about how screwed Donghyuck was going to be and how mad Mark probably was at him. At the time, he didn't think he did anything wrong to anger Mark, so he couldn't understand why the older would yell at him if he was. But when Mark dragged him off and locked them in a bedroom, only to absolutely wreck him for an hour until they separately left, Donghyuck finally understood why Mark behaved in such a way last night. He was probably just as horny as Donghyuck was.

"Watch where you're going!" Donghyuck felt a hand grab his own and his body being pulled backwards. He looked up and saw Mark staring down at him with an annoyed gaze, "Do you want to get run over or something?!"

Donghyuck turned his head around and realised that he was almost about to walk onto the road while the traffic lights were green.

"O-oh... sorry." he mumbled an apology, "T-thank you." a small blush crept up on his cheeks when Mark tugged his hand away.

'Mark just... _saved_ me?' Donghyuck thought, but snapped out of his thoughts quickly before Mark would get mad at him for dozing off again and not watching where he was going. He decided against his thoughts and concluded that Mark was (surprisingly) a decent enough of a human being who could prevent someone from getting killed - how nice of him.

They wordlessly reached Mark's house and Donghyuck continued to admire Mark's back profile while the older absentmindedly opened the door.

When he did open the door, they weren't greeted with the silent nod of acknowledgment from Mark's mother that Donghyuck grew accustomed to from his previous visits to Mark's house and during the first time he accidentally ran into the elder woman when he was supposed to be meeting Mark - which then led to an awkward greeting, but Donghyuck still liked Mark's mother just as much.

However, they weren't greeted with that at all.

Instead, Donghyuck came face-to-face with a tall boy with a dimpled eye-smile.

"Oh, hyung... you're here." was all Mark managed to say as they both stepped inside and Donghyuck bowed politely.

"That's it?! THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOING TO SAY TO YOUR BROTHER WHO'S BEEN AWAY WORKING HIS ASS OFF AT UNI FOR THREE MONTHS AND ONLY JUST ARRIVED NOW?!" the tall guy fake cried when Mark just scoffed and pushed past him.

Donghyuck would laugh, but he was too busy being utterly surprised.

_Brother?_

He did not know Mark had a brother.

"Mark hyung..." he called out and waited until the said boy turned around, "you shouldn't be so cold towards your hyung." he pouted, feeling bad for the older boy who probably waited a while to see his younger brother.

"AND WHO IS THIS CUTIE-PIE WHO SEEMS MUCH NICER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE?!" the tall boy suddenly engulfed Donghyuck into a tight bear hug that Donghyuck found was way too warm to pull away from.

"Johnny hyung... please stop shouting." Mark sighed, grabbing Donghyuck by the wrist and harshly pulling him out of the tall boy's - Johnny's - hold. "Now, we've got work to do. We'll be in my room... don't disturb us!"

With that, Mark proceeded to drag Donghyuck off in the direction of his room, which Donghyuck had long familiarised himself with.

"I didn't know you had a brother..." Donghyuck started the conversation off.

" _Step_ -brother." Mark corrected, before raising an eyebrow almost accusingly at him, as if he expected Donghyuck to know that. "And it's not like I'm obliged to tell you about my family?"

"Aww... but he's so good-looking..." Donghyuck frowned, resembling a kicked puppy as he sat down on the spare chair in Mark's room and pulled out his work from his bag.

"What did you say?" Mark looked at him incredulously, almost offended with what he was hearing.

"What? I just said he was good looking? Actually, scratch that... he's super hot." Donghyuck stared into the distance dreamily. He wasn't lying in any way, Johnny was totally tall and totally fit and totally handsome. Who was Donghyuck to deny that?

"Whatever." Mark rolled his eyes as they both sat down and got on with their work.

He assumed Donghyuck would just drop the suddenly irritating topic of his brother and just do his work, but the latter seemed to have different ideas.

"What's his favourite colour? His favourite food? Oohh... he's in uni? Which one? Does he have a job already?" Donghyuck ranted, mainly to himself, but he didn't mind asking Mark since he was Johnny's brother, so he must have some answers.

"Can you just focus on the work?" Mark gritted through his teeth.

"He's really tall as well... and don't get me started on how sexy he is..." Donghyuck continued shamelessly. "I want to ask for his number..."

Mark instantly regretted looking up because Donghyuck was now pouting, as if he was actually sad about not getting to know his older brother.

"Oh my fuck can you please stop talking about my brother?" Mark groaned in annoyance, "You sound like you want to sleep with him more than anything."

"Fuck... I bet he has good dick game." Donghyuck sighed, "Wait... he's probably a sex god or something. I'm going, bye-" Donghyuck stood up and headed for the door, trying to make it seem like he wanted to spend the night in Johnny's room. 

He internally smiled in satisfaction when Mark grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

"You're not going anywhere." Mark snarled dangerously.

"I'm not?" Donghyuck looked at him in complete innocence, as if he didn't know he was currently hurting the older's pride right now. Well, Donghyuck assumed it was pride. 

Mark went over to the door and locked it before going back over to the table and packing up his stuff as quickly as he could. He grabbed Donghyuck by the waist and perched him on the table before settling between the younger's legs.

"You're such a pain in the ass. I should just get rid of you." he grumbled.

"Please do. Sooner I can go, sooner I can see Johnny hyung." Donghyuck shrugged carelessly, but he couldn't say another word as a squeak escaped his lips when Mark pushed him down on the table, hands already making their way to pull on his trousers before yanking them off completely.

"After I'm done with you, he's gonna be the last person on your mind." Mark simply found it unpleasant that Donghyuck was suddenly interested in his brother, so he didn't entirely mind teaching the younger a lesson or two.

"Hyung... your family are downstairs..." Donghyuck felt a rush of excitement course through him. Even though all their student council study sessions took place in Mark's room, they always waited until his parents had left for their night shifts.

But right now... Mark didn't seem to care. It reminded Donghyuck of last night when Mark dragged him through a room of people at a party with the only intention of fucking him senseless.

Those rare moments when Mark didn't care if anyone found out, if anyone saw, if anyone talked about them. Somehow, to Donghyuck, it made whatever they had more _real_... even though Mark never saw it as that.

"Well then... you better fucking stay quiet, you-"

"MARK!" a loud banging on the door interrupted Mark's words, and the sound of Johnny's voice splintered through the wooden door, "Why's your door locked?! What are you two doing?! I'm telling mom!"

Mark let out a loud groan before pushing himself off the younger boy and fixing his clothes back to their previous neatness as the latter rapidly did the same.

"I always lock my door to make sure _you_ don't come in!" Mark spat accusingly, before opening the door and glaring at Johnny, who was now smirking knowingly at him, "Now what do you want?"

Johnny barged into the room and made his way over to Donghyuck, who smiled at him in shared interest, "I just want to see what my baby brother's doing! I can't believe you're pushing me away after I came back."

"You're making it sound like you were on the other side of the world for more than five years and you only just came back to visit me now." Mark deadpanned, as emotionless as ever.

"Three months, five years... same thing! I just missed you, little bro!" Johnny walked back over to Mark and pulled him into a hug.

"Awww~~" Donghyuck cooed, earning a sharp and deadly glare from Mark, which he completely ignored.

"Also, mom's not got a shift tonight, so she said to call you both down to have dinner together." Johnny explained, "Besides, she said she wanted to get to know your cute little friend here better."

Mark snarled when Johnny threw an arm around Donghyuck's shoulder and pulled him close.

"You gotta stop with the whole tough boy act, it doesn't work on me." Johnny sighed in faux disappointment, before grabbing Mark with his free arm, "Let's go!"

Mark actually looked slightly apologetic.

Donghyuck could tell that Mark probably didn't want him here, but he didn't care. Especially not when Johnny and their mother treated him so nicely.

Donghyuck found Mark's mother especially interesting. She was cold and strict and resembled Mark incredibly. Donghyuck also found it endearing how different her business and her family personas were. She seemed like the kind of person who would be unforgiving to all her subordinates at work, but when she's at home, she's fun and kind and almost playful.

Donghyuck experienced the work-side of Mark every day. He wondered if the older's home-side was the same as his mother's.

"So, Donghyuck-ah... what course do you major in?" Mark's mother started off.

"I'm a business major, ma'am." Donghyuck answered politely, silently wondering what went wrong in Mark's childhood to make him such an idiot when his family were so nice.

"Just like Mark! Do you share any classes?" she continued enthusiastically and it was clear to everyone that she instantly took a liking towards the young, tanned skin boy.

"Luckily no." Mark muttered.

"Unfortunately not." Donghyuck replied at the same time, which ended up with him and Mark glaring at each other threateningly.

"Mark! That wasn't very nice of you..." his mother scolded him and Donghyuck only grinned mischievously.

Mark rolled his eyes discreetly, wishing Donghyuck would just leave already.

"I'm actually quite surprised you're a business major. I'm not that involved with the school, but I've heard you're a theatre prodigy." she commented, shooting a quick glance at Mark, which Donghyuck didn't catch since he was too busy blushing at the words.

"I'm really not, but thank you for the recognition." he smiled, flustered at the way both the woman and Johnny cooed at him fondly.

(Mark couldn't believe the little brat won over his family so easily)

"I'm not even trying to exaggerate, I've heard from Principal Choi that you especially excel on stage and that you're bringing the school's performing arts department to life!" she commended, "A boy with your talents would naturally be majoring in drama or music instead of business."

"I did think about it a lot, but I later realised that theatre was more of a hobby that I wanted as a part of me for the rest of my life, just... not something I could pursue a career in." Donghyuck shrugged.

"Something tells me that it's more family related." she assumed and Donghyuck could only nod in awe - she truly was very observant.

"Yeah, my father and I had a common love for theatre, he was the main reason I started performing." Donghyuck decided to be careful with the topic, not wanting to spill any unnecessary pieces of information since he wanted to leave a good impression to the family of the boy he liked. 

"Such a good boy~" the woman cooed, reaching out and patting the tanned boy's head affectionately.

"Seriously, mother?" Mark deadpanned, trapped right in the middle of the exchange.

"Be nice, Lee Minhyung! We've got a lovely guest around and you're not behaving." she shook her head and Mark only groaned in embarrassment, glaring daggers at Donghyuck when the latter started laughing mockingly.

"Anyway, Johnny... how's uni?" she turned her attention to the said boy with a motherly smile, "You haven't visited in so long. It's been lonely without you..."

"I know, sorry mom. I'll come back sooner next time, it's been pretty hectic." Johnny sighed.

"Aww... it must be." she frowned, rubbing Johnny's shoulder soothingly, "Next time, bring your friends around. I'm sure Mark misses them as well. Oh, and how's Ten doing? He's well right?"

"Of course, mom. We couldn't be better." Johnny assured, his ears tinting a light shade of pink, evidently flustered.

"Who's Ten?" Donghyuck leaned over to whisper to Mark.

"Johnny hyung's boyfriend." Mark replied.

"Only the bestest boyfriend on earth!" Johnny overheard the conversation and decided to interrupt.

"Oh..." Donghyuck pouted, realising that the older was a taken guy.

Mark noticed the younger's sad expression and grumbled angrily, reaching out and pulling at the latter's ear, earning a loud yelp from the brunette.

"You idiot, he has a boyfriend! Get that through your brain!" Mark yelled at him.

"Let go, you stupid-head!" Donghyuck pinched Mark's arm and soon, the two were trying to kick each other under the table.

"Boys! No fighting at the table!" the commanding sound of Mark's mother's voice instantly drew them apart as both Mark and Donghyuck hung their heads in shame.

"Sorry." they both muttered, suddenly feeling bad.

Mark tilted his head to the right and glared at the younger boy, only to find the latter doing the exact same thing back, both on the verge of starting another play (?) fight.

"Sorry, cutie, I'm taken..." Johnny laughed and patted Donghyuck's head fondly, cooing at the pout forming on the latter's lips.

Sub-consciously, Mark reached out and swatted Johnny's hand away with an annoyed glare, blurting out an excuse.

"He doesn't deserve affection. Don't spoil this brat even more." Mark snarled.

"You're the only spoiled idiot here!" Donghyuck argued with a small whine.

"Why can't you just stay quiet for once?!" Mark seethed.

"Why can't you be a decent human being for once?" Donghyuck hissed, crossing his arms with a huff.

"I'll be a decent human being when you learn to grow up and stop being so childish!"

"Well I'll stop being so childish if you start being nice to me!"

The two continued to bicker, tossing insults back and forth, and the only other two people in the room finally came to a realisation that this was what the young college boys felt for each other.

"Sweetie, I'm getting a headache from watching this." the elder woman turned to Johnny and sighed.

"I'm still confused. Do they hate each other or do they like each other but are both in great denial?" Johnny questioned to no one in particular, thinking back to the way Mark shoved his hand away when he patted Donghyuck on the head.

The rest of the dinner went by with Mark and Donghyuck sniping at each other with meaningless comments and insults and, although it was cute to watch them bicker, it gradually became annoying to the point where Mark's mother had to force the two apart and scold them for behaving so childishly, forcing the two to apologise to each other as if they were pre-school kids instead of college students.

"You really don't know when to stop, do you?" Mark grumbled as he walked Donghyuck to the front door, partially annoyed that he couldn't just get the younger in bed with him like planned.

"Whatever. It was _your_ fault for being weird." Donghyuck shrugged.

"Weird?! How was _I_ weird?!" Mark grimaced as he watched Donghyuck step over the threshold of the door.

"You started getting all angry and annoyed when I was upset about Johnny hyung having a boyfriend!" Donghyuck glared at him accusingly.

"That's _because_ you were upset that Johnny hyung has a boyfriend! He's my brother!"

"I was only joking around! He's not even my type!"

"Oh, so _now_ you have a type, huh?!" Mark had his eyes screwed in sheer judgement of the younger's words.

"Yeah I do, and actually... I'm gonna meet with that person who's exactly my type right now." Donghyuck announced confidently.

"Right now? In the middle of the night?" Mark raised a brow, anger seeping from every pore as he leaned in closer, "What? Who is it then, huh? You got no one-"

"Seunghun." Donghyuck cut him off, pursing his lips tightly together as he challengingly glared at Mark, "I'm meeting up with him, and right now you're wasting my-"

_SLAM!_

"-time." Donghyuck let out a defeated sigh when Mark slammed the door in his face. He stared at the burgundy-red coated door with sudden despair.

Why was Mark acting like this? Was he seriously _that_ annoyed that they couldn't have sex? Did Mark find him a nuisance when his mother invited him for dinner? Did he not appreciate him joking around with Johnny?

Donghyuck didn't understand and he felt way too pathetic to start crying in front of Mark's house. So, he swiftly turned around and started walking back to campus, wondering why he even lied about meeting with Seunghun in the first place.

Mark Lee is such an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and johnny suh finally makes an appearance!! don't worry... this won't be the last you see of him ! :D  
> and mark's moods in this book fluctuating more than mine do irl i-
> 
> idk if this chapter was meant to turn out like this... but i hope you liked it anyway :/
> 
> today in neo city!! we got resonance teaser images!! shotaro and sungchan are so wendqmdwkunwsa handsome i want to cry-  
> we also got another episode of 127 Indonesian school!! i really love that series... i hope they do it with other languages as well!! 
> 
> and superm reacting to one (monster & infinity) mv was such a mood!!! taekaibaek praising nct boys is just the bestest thing ever uwuwuwuwu~
> 
> anyway!! thank you again for reading and supporting this book!! see you next chapter!! <33


	19. seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH !!! ok i hate this chapter.
> 
> just another chapter to add to the collection of chapters i dislike for some reason.
> 
> i'm so sorry... i just hqndosnhsmaoINS idk....

"What are you doing here?" Mark raised a brow when he opened the door and saw Donghyuck standing there. 

"Ugh. Why did ? _you_ have to open the door?" Donghyuck hissed, as if he didn't already know that basketball season was coming up, so Mark was probably going to stay at his dorm more often now.

"I thought we had an agreement." Mark crossed his arms and looked at the younger judgingly.

"Fuck off, I'm not here for you... gross." Donghyuck sneered and Mark just rolled his eyes as the younger made his way into the dorm room.

"What are you here for then?"

"Your friend, Wong Yukhei." Donghyuck answered simply.

"What?!" Mark's eyes widened and he could feel a raging emotion bubbling in the pit of his stomach, he tried to control it and dismiss it, but the thought wouldn't leave his head.

"Yeah, now where's your super sexy friend?" Donghyuck glanced around the messy dorm room. 

"Oh, Donghyuck!" the cheerful sound of Lucas' voice interrupted them, as he walked out of room in nothing but sweatpants with a small towel around his neck. "How are you?"

"Much, _much_ better now." Donghyuck stared Lucas up and down, meeting the older's gaze and sending him a flirtatious wink, which Lucas responded just as cheekily with.

"Dude, put a shirt on for fucks sake." Mark caught the interaction and picked up a shirt from the couch and tossed it in Lucas' direction.

"Ok, ok..." Lucas chuckled knowingly and pulled on the shirt, before looking over at Donghyuck, "What's up?"

"I need you for something." Donghyuck stated simply before grabbing Lucas' hand and dragging him towards the door.

"Woah, woah wait a minute." Mark stopped them, eyeing Lucas questioningly, "What do you need him for?"

"None of your business, Lee. Now move out of the way." Donghyuck groaned in annoyance before shoving past Mark and opening the door.

Mark couldn't even get another word in since the two left the room already. A sick feeling started to rise in his stomach and he didn't know how to feel. He didn't think Donghyuck had it in him to sleep with more than one person at the same time. And, more importantly, his best friend? Mark wasn't one to judge, but the thought was more off-putting than he would like to admit.

He contemplated his life decisions for a while, but then decided against all his morals and left through the door, following after the two.

"Why are you following us, you creep?" Donghyuck hissed at him, but Mark was too busy sneaking glances at the way Donghyuck kept his hand in Lucas'. Since when did they get so close, anyway?

"Shut up, stupid." Mark argued, "You're up to something and I'd rather not get one of the best players on my team in trouble for whatever you're planning on doing to him."

"One of your best?" Lucas looked at Mark with a newfound admiration, "Bro..."

Mark only rolled his eyes, silently confirming that his words were true anyway.

He watched intently as Donghyuck dragged Lucas to the library, swerving past a few bookshelves until they reached the near back of the large vicinity.

Donghyuck gestured for the other two boys to crouch down behind a bookshelf as he moved around a few books so they could see.

"That-" Donghyuck pointed through the gap he made, causing the other two to look curiously, "-is my best friend. I don't know what your intentions are with him, Wong Yukhei, but I swear to god-"

"Shhhhh!" Lucas waved a hand in front of Donghyuck's face without tearing his gaze away from the view in front of him.

"What the fu-" Donghyuck was about to protest, but Lucas slapped a hand onto his lips, his palm big enough to cover the entirety of the lower half of Donghyuck's face.

Both Mark and Donghyuck recognised how Lucas was staring in complete awe at the boy before him.

On the other aisle from where they were hiding behind, Renjun was sitting at an empty desk near a window, on-looking the courtyard. There was a lone book sat in front of him and Renjun flickered his attention from the book and the scene outside the window a few times; the gold, square-rimmed specs perched on the bridge of his nose glistened under the sunlight shining through the window. Renjun didn't need glasses, but Lucas remembered when Renjun told him that he simply liked the pair of glasses he bought from an antique shop and, somehow, ended up wearing them almost everyday.

To Lucas, the scene before him seemed as if it came right out of a fairytale book. The past few days have been strange. He rarely saw Renjun at the cafeteria and it was hard to find the younger boy in general throughout the vastness of their college. All this time, he had been at the library, hidden at the very back amongst the books.

Lucas couldn't believe he had missed out on all the opportunities to see Renjun like _this_.

"Damn... the way you look at him." Donghyuck mumbled, trying to hide the jealousy in his tone and masked it with something more jokey.

"Is... uhhh..." Lucas forced himself to look away before he got too entranced by the sight of Renjun and looked at Donghyuck instead, "is he ok? You know... with the whole Jeno-"

"-he's fine. I'm still surprised you know, but Mark hyung knew about it... so maybe more people knew than I expected." Donghyuck sighed, sparing Mark a glance, "He still doesn't want to talk to Jeno or Jaemin yet, but I found out that he's been hanging out with you recently, so I just thought I should make something clear since he means a lot to me and I don't want him to get hurt again."

"Is that where you've been disappearing off to after practise?" Mark looked at Lucas questioningly, only earning a guilty nod from the older, who had declined previous invitations to hang out with the basketball team because he wanted to meet with Renjun, "You could've just told me, man. I know how much you like him... I wouldn't have minded."

"I know, I was just... embarrassed, I guess." Lucas shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "I've never liked someone the way I like Renjun..."

Donghyuck glanced over at Renjun and then back at Lucas. He couldn't help the defeated sigh that slipped from his lips as he stole a glance at Mark from the corner of his eye. 

What Lucas and Renjun had was so... unpredictable. Donghyuck honestly never saw it coming. But he was happy for them, they looked cute together and it seemed as if their feelings were mutual and genuine.

Renjun deserved it, of course he did. He deserved to be loved truthfully and Donghyuck knew Lucas could give him that.

But that didn't make him feel any less envious for something that they had that he desperately wanted with a person who would never see him in such a way.

"Are you going to tell him?" Mark asked after a while, suddenly relieved that his own assumptions had been settled and that Donghyuck wasn't actually going after his best friend.

"Soon." Lucas assured with a hopeful smile, "He needs a little more time to heal and I'll wait until then."

"Hmm... with the looks he's been giving you recently, I'm sure you won't have to wait long." Donghyuck chuckled when Lucas suddenly became shy at the thought.

Shy Lucas was a sight to see.

"Great. Congratulations. Well done. Case closed." Mark stood up abruptly and linked his hands behind his head before walking off, not before informing Donghyuck, "You better not be late to the meeting today, idiot."

"You better not be late to the meeting today, idiot." Donghyuck mocked in a whiny voice, sticking his tongue out at Mark, who only ignored his childish antics and walked away.

"How do you put up with him?" Lucas laughed at the interaction between the two.

"I could ask you the same question." Donghyuck sighed in defeat.

"He's my best mate!" Lucas stated proudly and Donghyuck nodded with a smile.

'And he's my crush.' Donghyuck ended up answering in his head, 'My crush, who doesn't even like me...'

Mark observed the way Donghyuck walked into the cafeteria, only to look at the table he usually sat at and frown.

When he looked around, Jaemin was sitting at a table with a few members from his photography club, looking equally as miserable. Jeno was sitting at a table with some members from the football team and Renjun was probably in the library.

Donghyuck himself didn't know what to do. He'd rather eat by himself than have to pick between his friends and choose who to sit with. So, with a defeated sigh, he bought something to eat and left the cafeteria, probably heading to the student council room.

Mark didn't really care.

Donghyuck could sit with people or sit alone. It never mattered to him. He was just a stupid brat with friends who were just as stupid as him that ended up in this mess because of their stupidity. 

And, because of Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin's failing intelligence, Donghyuck had to be caught in the middle and face the aftermath of none of his closest friends talking to each other. He didn't want to be the messenger in between them and didn't exactly know what to say to his friends to get them to talk to each other.

Mark thought it was insanely dumb. This was exactly why he never liked anything related to love or feelings.

Lee Donghyuck is a real idiot, sitting alone at lunch like a pathetic loser.

Having the entire school after him, holding the status of student council vice president, and still being too stubborn to join any other table like his friends did.

Mark had absolutely no sympathy for him. It's his fault. He doesn't care.

"Yo, Mark! Where are you going?" Lucas asked him when the said boy stood up and packed away his food just after unpacking it. "You not gonna eat with us?"

"Nah, sorry. I just remembered I have something left to do for student council." Mark explained.

"You always have student council stuff to do." Xiaojun shook his head with a chuckle, "It's keeping you busy, president."

"He's doing it to himself, I swear." Hendery chimed in.

"Yeah, I guess." Mark laughed shortly, "Anyway, see you guys later."

After the others waved him off, Mark headed over to the student council room. He saw Donghyuck at his desk, scrolling through his phone and barely touching his food.

"Finish your food quickly otherwise it's gonna stink up the room." Mark snarled at him.

"Can you let me be miserable in fucking peace?!" Donghyuck shot him a glare, sparing a glance at his box of food in sudden disgust. "I don't feel like eating anyway."

Mark watched as Donghyuck picked up his food and headed for the bin on the other side of the room.

"Don't tell me you're throwing that away. I can't believe I endured a whole one hour speech of you talking about how food waste is bad for the environment and there are people around the world who aren't as lucky as us." Mark shook his head in feigned disappointment, "We don't need hypocrisy on the committee."

"You actually listened to that?" Donghyuck raised a brow, stopping at the bin and looking between it and his food. He looked back at Mark with a deeply saddened frown. He couldn't help but think about his friends, hating the distance between them and wanting nothing more for them to be together again.

"It's kinda hard to ignore you when you talk all the fucking time, even when I tell you to shut up." Mark shrugged with an annoyed look as he rounded his desk and sat down to eat.

"Asshole..." Donghyuck muttered under his breath, walking back to his desk with his lunch in hand. "Whatever. I'm not a hypocrite..." he huffed angrily as he started slowly munching on his food.

Mark rolled his eyes at the way Donghyuck was pouting and eating at the same time. How much more childish could he get?

"Why are you eating here anyway? I thought I saw you in the cafeteria a while ago..." Donghyuck questioned, suddenly curious, slowly chewing on the food in his mouth as he looked at the older with interest.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." Mark grimaced, eyeing the way Donghyuck's right cheek puffed out from the way he filled it with food.

"Don't ignore my question." Donghyuck gulped down his food and hissed at him.

"I have work to do. Unlike you, I don't have time to waste." Mark pursed his lips tightly, already regretting coming here in the first place.

Donghyuck only rolled his eyes at the older's stubbornness, but he didn't say any more. Mark was here and, suddenly, Donghyuck felt less lonely.

A small brush crept up on his cheeks as he thought about the amount of times they had ate lunch together in the student council room, just by coincidence. 

They just exchanged spiteful insults and topic-less conversations related to the student council, or whatever work they had to do. 

For Donghyuck, it was the kind of casualness he practically dreamed of having with Mark. Even though their lunch breaks were only short and their time together was practically limited, Donghyuck savoured every second of it, completely and utterly content with watching Mark eat his food when the older wasn't looking or conversing with him behind closed doors without other people using them for their daily dose of drama that they, somehow, always seemed to provide for them.

Mark was a really nice _distraction_.

"You didn't do anything wrong, by the way." Mark suddenly stated after a few moments of silence had passed by.

"Huh?"

"The situation with your friends." Mark clarified, "They'll get their heads out of their asses soon and forgive each other. Your fights are so petty... no wonder you're so sensitive all the time."

"I'm WHAT?!" Donghyuck stood up so abruptly, his chair fell backwards. "You dickhead! Say that to my face!" Donghyuck went over to Mark's desk and started attacking the older with punches on his arm.

Mark was seriously unimpressed. He took the younger by his waist and pushed him onto his desk, careful not to spill the box of food he had carelessly shoved to the side.

"Ungrateful brat. You're always asking for my fucking help and time with your pathetic problems." Mark gritted through his teeth, "Just because I'm president, doesn't mean I'm your go-to counsellor when you need advice."

"You're the last person on earth I would go to for help." Donghyuck screwed his eyes at the older, leaning down so they were at eye-level, since he was still perched on the older's desk.

"Hmm... let's see how long that lasts for." Mark moved his hands over to fiddle with the zipper of the younger's jeans, already satisfied with the position he got the latter in.

"Hyung... door." Donghyuck breathed out quietly. Mark was so unexpected with these kind of things, randomly wanting to do it in the middle of an argument. Donghyuck thought it was the sexiest thing in the world. God... what does Mark Lee do to him? 

"We should lock it, shouldn't we?" Mark chuckled deeply. "We've got a meeting in fifteen minutes. Should we wait?" his tone was mocking, as if he already knew what kind of answer he'd get.

Donghyuck only shook his head, hands reaching out to work on the buttons of Mark's shirt. Another major turn on was Mark's choice of fashion. On some days, he went completely casual, and on others, he dressed up rich and posh, with designer blouses and fancy looking cardigans. Donghyuck didn't know which one he liked more, but he knew that there was so many other styles he had seen Mark in; so it was practically impossible to choose.

"You think fifteen minutes is enough?" Mark continued to tease, his tone laced with mockery as he walked over to the door and locked it, before returning back to Donghyuck.

Donghyuck nodded at the question, shifting around uncomfortably with the lack of touches he was receiving. Like a shot, everything, every previous worry, all other irrelevant thoughts completely wiped from his mind. Donghyuck couldn't think about anything or anyone. Not when Mark was right there in front of him.

"How pathetic. You don't even use your words." Mark clicked his tongue, "I wonder how I can just get rid of you." 

Even though he was lost in complete pleasure, Donghyuck could feel his frustration peak again. Mark was just so damn confusing! One minute, they're arguing, and the next... Mark wants to fuck him? All while saying that he wants to get rid of him?

'Make up your fucking mind, Mark Lee!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao... mark do be bad at trying to comfort people :')
> 
> anyWAY! usually... i would go on a rant about how much nct and superm content we got today! and even though we did (mtopia hnsmqonawmoiws omg-) i can't even bring myself to say anything bc this chapter actually sucks.
> 
> anyway... just a bit of luren at the start and perhaps some mark jealousy in different forms? is this progression i see????
> 
> thank you for reading and supporting this chapter!! ok!! next chapter is going to be better!! i swear!! i'm actually looking forward to updating next time!! so do not worry!! if this chapter sucked... then next chapter shall hopefully make up for it :'))
> 
> thank you so much for reading and commenting and encouraging me!! luv you all ;-; <33


	20. eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh... i've been having tests all week and i've got 2 tomorrow and then another one on friday... i'm so drained i feel like crYING- :((
> 
> ughuknxsis i hate school. why can't i just stay at home and watch nct videos like a normal, healthy, fully-functioning human being? why must we leeeeaarnnnn ;-;
> 
> anyWAY! hope you like this chapter :)

Today should be the greatest day of the entire year.

It really, _really_ should be.

It should be so amazingly fabulous that Donghyuck should practically be crying with happiness.

Only, he is not doing that. 

Mark isn't in today. He isn't going to be in for the whole day because he's attending the biannual school board meeting that their principal warned them about at the start of the year like he does every year.

And, just like last year, Mark goes without him and leaves him to take care of student council duties while he's gone for the day.

The amount of faith Mark has in him should be laughable. 

And, because Mark isn't here to nag him, or scold him, or be mean to him, or make him cry... Donghyuck should be celebrating the fact that his heart could rest for one measly day.

So, _why_ is he upset?

Why is he so upset that Mark isn't here? Every time Donghyuck glanced over to the student council president's desk, a painful feeling tugs at his heart that practically screams to him 'I miss Mark Lee!'.

He feels insanely pathetic for wishing Mark was here with him instead of on the other side of town, attending a meeting that he also wanted to go to.

"The one day Mark isn't here and instead of being happy and throwing a party, you're sad because you miss him." Renjun shook his head in disappointment, "You're so whipped for him... I can't even look at you anymore."

"I don't _want_ to, Junnie!" Donghyuck cried out, practically throwing himself on the table in front of him. "Why do I have to be so honest with my feelings anyway? Why can't I just... be in denial and pretend like I have no feelings for him? 'Cause this is getting seriously annoying now. He's literally coming back tomorrow... it's not that big of a deal!"

"Why don't you text him?" Renjun suggested, like the ever-so-rational friend that he was.

"I can't just text him and say that I miss him and I want him to come back and argue with me?!" Donghyuck shot his head up, unable to comprehend the sheer stupidity of such a suggestion.

"God... you're insufferable. I'm beginning to understand why Mark refuses to tolerate you." Renjun sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Stop whining and do something productive. Mark probably gave you a bunch of stuff to do while he's gone, right?"

"...yeah, he did." Donghyuck frowned and forced himself onto his feet to go to his room and start on the work Mark left for him.

He opened his phone and decided to take up Renjun's suggestion and text Mark... just to make sure he was alive.

Yeah.

_That._

After he sent off the text, he looked back at the scrap pieces of paper scattered on the surface of his desk. A small smile curled at the corner of his lips as he thought back to the way Mark reacted to his encouragement note that he secretly gave the older. Even when he fell asleep, Mark was still holding the note.

It made Donghyuck think. 

People don't appreciate Mark's efforts enough.

So, he grabbed a few pieces of paper and started writing down a few more notes to give Mark on different days. He'll give one to him tomorrow because, even though he's still mad at Mark for not letting him go to the school board meeting, he felt bad that Mark had to sit through the entire thing as well as endure a car ride with Principal Choi alone.

Donghyuck probably wasn't mentally ready for that anyway, so he didn't mind sitting this one out this time.

His phone vibrated with a notification and he moved to grab it instantly, eyes brightening in hopefulness as he checked his messages. But a frown etched its way onto his lips when he recognised that the message wasn't from Mark.

**hot football captain:**  
you doing anything right now?

Donghyuck contemplated making up an excuse. He _did_ have a lot of work to do, but then again, he didn't mind spending some time with Seunghun either...

With his friends not talking to each other and Mark on the other side of town, Donghyuck could use some company.

**me:**  
hmm... the only thing i'm doing is waiting for you to pick me up from my dorm so we can hang out ;)

 **hot football captain:**  
i'll be right there!

Donghyuck chuckled at the response before walking over to his wardrobe and throwing on a change of clothes. He made himself look a little more presentable before leaving his room, telling Renjun where he was going and heading for the door, deciding to wait in the hallways for the other boy to arrive.

His phone vibrated in his pocket again after a short while and Donghyuck assumed it was Seunghun texting him.

But when he opened the message, he almost dropped his phone from shock. He giddily read over Mark's text that the older just sent him and tried not to laugh at how predictable the words were. It was as if he could practically _hear_ Mark saying them to him.

**me:**  
you left me too much work to do!  
so mean!  
:((

 **dumbfuck president:**  
shut up and do your work.  
don't bother me.  
i'm busy.

"Hey! Sorry... did I make you wait long?" Donghyuck looked up at the sound of the familiar voice and shook his head in response when Seunghun came close.

"No, I just left." he assured, "Where do you wanna hang out?"

"Hmm... wanna go to that café we went to last time?" Seunghun suggested. Donghyuck nodded in response at the idea. Seunghun took him to a small and cute café when they were spending twenty found hours together as a pretend couple; it was cozy and not too popular, but the coffee there was really good. 

He made a mental note to get a coffee from there for Mark as well.

"I heard football season's also starting soon. How's practise going?" Donghyuck started the conversation after they ordered their drinks.

"Oh, really good, actually. I'm glad you mentioned that, we're having our first match of the season this Friday and I would seriously love it if you could come watch." 

"I'll see if I can make it." Donghyuck chuckled at how enthusiastic Seunghun seemed after inviting him.

"Anyway, how about theatre? Anything new we should be expecting from you?" Seunghun questioned after a while.

"Hmm... the theatre club has been preparing for a production for the end of spring as always, but I can't tell you what it is... it's a secret." Donghyuck teased, leaning closer with a finger pressed against his lips.

Seunghun evidently felt bothered by such a suggestive display since he ended up etching a little forward sub-consciously.

Donghyuck could only giggle, moving away before their faces got too close. As much as he could tell Seunghun liked him, and he also had taken a sort of liking to the other; Donghyuck didn't want anything between them to be more than friendly for now.

They talked and subtly flirted around a little more, making use of the little break they had before heading back to school for classes.

"Thanks for hanging out with me, I had fun." Seunghun walked Donghyuck to the student council room.

"Me too, I had fun as well." Donghyuck smiled sweetly. He truly did enjoy spending time with Seunghun. "By the way, I have a little _query_ that I could use advice on."

"What is it?" Seunghun prompted curiously.

"A few people I know are really good friends and stuff... but they're not talking right now and I don't want to choose between them. How do I get them to talk to each other again?" Donghyuck felt a frown tug at his lips. He was getting seriously tired of not being able to hang out with Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin all together instead of one at a time. Hadn't they had enough time to solve their problems?

"Hmm... I don't know the context behind it, but they probably had problems with each other and judging from your position in the matter, you didn't do anything wrong?"

"I don't think I did?" Donghyuck tried to think back, wondering if he could've done anything different to help them all. 

He probably should've discouraged Renjun from the whole fake dating thing.

He probably should've encouraged Jaemin to confess his feelings for Jeno.

He probably should've smacked some sense into Jeno and made him confess his own feelings without hurting Renjun in the process.

_Wait._

Maybe he didn't do enough for his friends after all...

"I bet they all want to hang out with each other just as much as you do, but they're pride and anger are probably getting in the way." Seunghun assured, "I'm sure getting them to talk to each other properly without having either of them run away would be a good start. If you don't talk sooner rather than later, the problem will just carry on until you all forget about it, but at that time, I don't think they'd be as close as friends as they were before."

Donghyuck nodded in agreement to the words, understanding the reasoning behind them. He'll just have to force the three together in the end, otherwise nothing will get fixed.

"Thanks, Seunghunnie~" Donghyuck cooed, pouting his lips cutely and internally laughing when Seunghun blushed furiously.

"N-no problem!" he stuttered out, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"I've got to go now, I'll see you later!" Donghyuck opened the door to the student council room and stepped inside, giving a short wave to Seunghun who managed to say a goodbye in return before turning around and leaving hurriedly, his ears tinted pink.

Donghyuck has a mission.

"Hyuck, where are we going?" Renjun questioned as Donghyuck pushed him by his shoulders, leading him towards a classroom which he assumed was empty.

"To settle things once and for all." Donghyuck simply replied, opening the door and leading the other inside.

"Settle wha- _oh_." Renjun stopped his sentence midway when he looked up and saw two figures standing there silently.

Jaemin was looking out of the window absentmindedly and Jeno was looking at him with something close to guilt written all over his face.

"Now is the time to clear the air..." Donghyuck prompted, before pulling on a frown, "I just want my friends back."

The other three looked at him remorsefully before exchanging a reluctant look.

"I-... I'll start." Jeno stood up from the chair he was sitting on and directed his gaze over to Renjun, "Injun-ah... I'm so sorry. I didn't know about your feelings and I didn't consider them in the slightest. I was really selfish and I made you go through everything I felt for Jaemin without asking if you were ok or not. I'm really sorry." 

"It's fine. I should've declined the whole fake dating thing when you asked me in the first place. I was getting way too over my head and probably a little too hopeful." Renjun shook his head, knowing that none of this would've happened if he just said 'no' at the very start. Jeno looked as if he was about to interject, but Renjun already directed his next words over to Jaemin, "I'm also sorry, Jaemin-ah... I really didn't mean to come in between you and Jeno..."

Jaemin let out a sigh before walking over to Renjun and pulling him into a hug, manually moving Renjun's hand to the back of his head, prompting the older to pat his hair because they both knew how much the younger of the two liked it when he needed comforting.

"Me too... I'm sorry too." everyone softened at the way Jaemin's voice cracked slightly, "It must've been hard for you..."

Jaemin pulled away from the hug with a smile and Renjun sighed in relief, happy that they were still friends - he couldn't imagine a life without Na Jaemin.

Jaemin then turned around and looked at Jeno, who still had guilt ridden in his expression, his lips pursing tightly and his eyes drooping in sadness.

"I don't know what to do, Jeno... you said you loved me that night." Jaemin stepped closer to him, "You said you weren't drunk and that you truly did like me... but then, why did you act as if nothing happened the day after?"

"Nana..." Jeno cautiously stepped closer, pulling Jaemin towards him by his hands and holding onto them firmly, "I wasn't drunk, I promise. And, everything I said to you, everything we did... I meant it because I truly do love you, Na Jaemin. After that night, I found out Renjun saw us and I felt so bad. I didn't even tell him that I was planning on confessing to you. I didn't want you to be caught in between or felt like I was just using you. God, if you ever felt like that... I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

Jaemin's eyes widened at the words and a deep blush crawled up onto his cheeks at how sincere Jeno sounded. He leaned into the way Jeno placed a hand on his cheek, caressing it softly.

"I'm sorry for being a coward and not telling you my feelings in the first place. I should've done that instead of getting others involved. You just... make me do the craziest things."

Jeno and Jaemin both let out a laugh when they heard Donghyuck and Renjun making gagging sounds in the background, muttering things about how they were so 'sappy' and 'cheesy'.

" _I_ make you do crazy things?" Jaemin tilted his head to the side, feigning innocence as he looked at Jeno with a small smirk.

"Mhmm... you do." Jeno leaned closer, their noses barely brushing, "I'm crazy for you, Na Jaemin."

Jaemin giggled, a dazzling smile stretching out on his lips and Jeno thought he was seeing stars right there and then because Jaemin could light up his entire universe with how bright he was.

"Am I forgiven?" Jeno asked, as if no one in the room knew the answer to that already, "Will you give me a chance?"

Jaemin's smile melted into a more subtle one, perfectly content with Jeno's honesty and sincerity. He nodded and pressed their foreheads together, letting their fingers intertwine.

"How can I say no to you, Lee Jeno?" Jaemin teased, gasping when Jeno wrapped an arm around his waist and pressed their bodies together entirely.

"You can't. You couldn't say no to me that night... and I won't let you say no right now." Jeno teased back with just as much confidence, loving the way only he could make Jaemin a flustered mess. "I love you, Nana."

"I love you too, Jeno..." Jaemin smiled prettily, placing a hand at the back of Jeno's neck and pulling him close.

Their lips almost met. _Almost_ , so, _so_ close, but the moment was interrupted when Donghyuck dragged Renjun and jumped onto the new couple in excited glee.

"Group hug!!" Donghyuck squealed, trying to wrap his arms around the three boys.

"What the hell, Hyuck?!! You ruined the moment!" Jaemin whined, trying to reach out and attack the tanned boy, only to be held back by both Jeno and Renjun.

"It's ok, babe... he tried." Jeno reassured him, pressing a loving kiss on the latter's cheek appreciatively.

Jaemin could easily argue and say that Donghyuck was nothing but a troublemaker, but he was too busy being embarrassed by how badly he wanted more of Jeno's kisses.

"Let's go get something to eat!" Donghyuck cheered, "To celebrate the start of nomin's wonderful relationship." he was happy. Mark was wrong about everything. His friends weren't sensitive and careless with their feelings like he said. Instead, they were smart and considerate and mature, swallowing up their pride because they know that their friendship meant more than anything else. Mark would never understand such things.

"Don't you have a shit-tone of work to do for student council?" Renjun raised a brow judgingly.

"What was that?! I can't hear you!" Donghyuck skipped ahead of the other three, "Too busy thinking about what to eat!"

Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin shared a glance before bursting out into laughter as they watched Donghyuck run off excitedly.

"Wait up! I want sushi!" Jaemin chased after Donghyuck in just as much excitement.

Renjun was about to follow them, but a hand stopped him. He turned around and noticed the wary look on Jeno's face.

"Renjun-ah... I still, I-... fuck... I still feel really bad. I can't help but feel like I took advantage of your emotions like that." Jeno confessed, and Renjun could only smile reassuringly.

"To be honest, it didn't surprise me much when I fell for you and it surprised me even less when I found out you were in love with Jaemin. After I found out, everything made sense in a way. You and Jaemin are perfect for each other, I could never compare."

"That's not true." Jeno denied sternly, catching the other off-guard, "It sounds insensitive to say it now and I really hope you won't hate me for this but... I think, at some point, I fell for you as well. I don't know in what way, but you're a great person, Renjun-ah, and I really don't deserve to be on the receiving end of your feelings. I can't even wrap my head around the idea of Jaemin liking me."

Renjun didn't know how to take that. A part of him felt frustrated; maybe, if he tried hard enough, Jeno could've acted on whatever lingering feeling he had for him and possibly even fell in love with him too. But, another part of him felt relieved. Jeno and Jaemin truly belonged together and Renjun didn't think he would've been as happy as he thought he would be if Jeno ended up liking him in the end.

"I'm ready to move on. I just hope this doesn't make anything awkward between us. It'll take a while to get over my feelings, but I can no longer say that I want things to be different. I'm happy it turned out this way." Renjun admitted.

"Nothing's awkward between us, don't worry. I'm glad you're ok with this." Jeno genuinely looked relieved and Renjun was satisfied with that alone. "Just for closure... you don't have any feelings for me, right?"

"Don't get too ahead of yourself, Lee." Renjun rolled his eyes and walked off, ignoring Jeno's calls after him.

As if it was the ideal moment, all Renjun could think about was a mop of slicked, brassy gold hair and a playful smile that reminded him of youth and he couldn't stop his heart from fluttering and for once, Jeno was the last person on his mind.

'Besides... I like someone else.'

Donghyuck was currently regretting all his life decisions.

He hung out with people all day today in between classes, meaning he didn't have time to do the student council work Mark had left for him.

Even just thinking about Mark caused a shiver to run down his spine and Donghyuck mentally sent a prayer above in hopes that Mark shows him mercy and _doesn't_ murder him tomorrow.

Luckily, Donghyuck had a knack for doing things last minute and getting away with it perfectly. It reminded of the times his high school teachers underestimated his intelligence since he was always late to class and was always the last to hand in his homework. Even when all his work and tests came back to him with top grades; his teachers didn't believe him for a second and practically accused him for copying work from other people or something stupid like that. Being the intolerable savage that he was, Donghyuck took a test paper and went straight to the principal's office at the time and sat down right in front of her and did the entire test. He then gave it to the principal to look over before going through the rest of his day with a satisfied smirk after he got his result which left the principal herself completely surprised. 

Donghyuck did not like to be underestimated. He could show up anyone and he liked doing it as well.

After years of honing that skill, Donghyuck stayed up till late in the night completing work; going over reports and speeches and typing up everything to be stored into the system for later access.

He stretched out his arms and craned his neck, pushing out his feet to let his swivel chair spin away from his desk as he glanced over the stacks of paper left incomplete.

He reached for his phone and winced at the brightness the screen emitted, only to frown once he saw how late it was. His face recognition unlocked the phone instantly and soon, Donghyuck was now staring at his home screen wallpaper.

In a way, Mark was right in front of him.

It was a picture of Mark sitting at his desk in the student council room, a stack of papers in his hands but his attention completely elsewhere.

Donghyuck was sitting at his own desk when he took the picture. He had been staring at Mark for a while when the older looked up and diverted his attention to the side, unknowingly showing off his perfect side profile.

Mark looked... _distracted_.

And such an expression was so rare to see that Donghyuck just had to quickly capture it on his phone. The photo came out surprisingly well for such a fleeting moment, so he decided to make it his wallpaper and every time he would look it, it would feel like he was in the student council room with Mark in that very moment.  
Donghyuck stood up and pulled on a hoodie, pushing away his thoughts of Mark as he decided to trek down to the convenience to get some snacks. He only had a few pieces of work left to finish, so a midnight snack should get him fuelled up enough to finish everything in one go and present to Mark in the morning.

It was dark outside and usually, he would've been completely against the whole idea of going out by himself (he wasn't scared of the dark or anything like that - _pfftt_ how ridiculous... yeah... completely ridiculous), but the lack of people around and the lamp-lit streets as well as the lights coming from a few fast food restaurants that were still open, reassured him enough that it was safe to go out.

Much to Donghyuck's absolute dismay, the convenience store near the campus was closed, forcing Donghyuck into the position of deciding between two possible options. One; go back to his dorm and just finish the work (on an empty stomach), or two; walk a little further to the next convenience store. 

Donghyuck's head told him to go back to his dorm, but his stomach told him to carry on walking.

In conclusion, hunger speaks louder than rational thoughts.

He walked down the pavement, hugging his arms around his body to keep himself warm from the winter that was nearing.

The bright white and blue lights of a convenience store sign came to view after a few long moments and Donghyuck just wanted to get his snacks and go home, slowly getting annoyed at how cold it was and how little he was wearing to protect him from it.

Maybe it was the fact that he had been thinking about him the entire day, or maybe because he had to hand in work after a day of not seeing him, because Donghyuck couldn't believe his eyes when he turned into an aisle and saw _Mark_ standing there.

He rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was just seeing things due to the tiredness and coldness he felt in his body. But when he looked back, Mark was definitely still standing there.

Donghyuck didn't know what to do. He was so caught up in admiring Mark and thinking about how much he missed him that he completely forgot the initial reason to why he even walked so far to go to this convenience store in the first place.

Mark must've felt the stares on the back of his head, because he soon turned around and looked at Donghyuck directly, eyes widening in surprise for a split second before rendering to their usual, annoyed glare.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he hissed, sleep laced in his voice, a tiredness that could easily rival Donghyuck's own.

'God... I missed that.' Donghyuck smiled to himself, wondering why his day felt so empty and incomplete without Mark throwing him snarky comments; or even just Mark not being there in general.

"I wanted to buy snacks..." Donghyuck shuffled around, knitting his fingers together in his hoodie pocket as he diverted his attention to the selection of chip packets that Mark was standing by. "the convenience store near campus was closed."

"Why are you up so late anyway?" Mark asked, his tone seemed uninterested, but Donghyuck knew better.

"Just- uhh... doing some work..." Donghyuck chuckled nervously, suddenly fearful.

"You were doing the student council work I left behind, weren't you?" Mark shook his head in disbelief of the younger's incompetence.

"What?! No! I already finished that!" Donghyuck quickly denied, forcing out a blatant lie to avoid getting on Mark's bad side, "I was just finishing up some work for class."

"Until one in the morning?" Mark looked at him judgingly, picking out a cup of instant noodles and walking over to the hot water dispenser.

Donghyuck followed him, grabbing a random cup of noodles, only wanting to stay with Mark a little longer.

"It was a lot of work!" Donghyuck knew he was only blurting out white lies that Mark didn't fall for in the slightest, but he'd rather Mark listen to his lies than find out he was too busy hanging out with his friends instead of doing work, while Mark was at an important board meeting on the other side of town. "Anyway... how was the school board meeting?"

"Boring as fuck... but otherwise ok." Mark shrugged, sitting down at one of the make-shift tables, shrugging his coat off and leaving it at the back of the chair as he waited for his food to cool down.

"Why couldn't I go as well?!" Donghyuck whined, taking a seat opposite the older, having no interest in his food, but forcing himself to eat so it didn't look like he was only there for Mark (which he was completely).

"You were just going to embarrass the school." Mark answered blatantly, looking up to see Donghyuck pouting miserably. "I couldn't risk it."

"What do you mean 'embarrass the school'?! How could I possibly embarrass it?!" Donghyuck was close to banging his head on the table. Did Mark _have_ to be that honest about it?

"Your annoying ass is embarrassing me right now. Shut up and eat your food." Mark sighed, glancing over to the person working behind the counter, who clearly looked more interested in whatever game he was playing on his phone, as if he would rather be anywhere else but _here_ , working night shift at a convenience store.

"Shut up and do you work. Shut up and eat your food. Shut up and stop fucking breathing." Donghyuck mocked, straining his pitch higher just to emphasise how often Mark told him off for the littlest of things.

At this rate, Donghyuck felt more like a little brother, and that was the very, very _last_ thing he wanted.

Actually, he would rather die than be related to Mark Lee.

"Such a useless brat." Mark shook his head, evidently unimpressed with Donghyuck's childishness. He didn't even know why the younger was sitting with him even when he was sure the latter's instant noodles had probably gone cold by now.

Donghyuck waited patiently. He knew he probably had to head back to his dorm and finish his work, but he was already reluctant on going back outside where it was dark and cold. So fucking cold that he cursed himself for not bringing a jacket since his hoodie was doing a shit job at keeping warm.

When Mark stood up, Donghyuck tried to hide his eagerness as he followed after. Trailing behind the older boy closely as they stepped out of the convenience store.

"Why aren't you going back?" Mark questioned after seeing Donghyuck bite his lip nervously as he stared off in the direction he was supposed to go in, clutching the strings of his hoodie tightly.

"Uhh... I-I'm..." Donghyuck didn't want to seem weak. He couldn't just tell Mark that he was scared of going back alone and in the dark. "Actually, I just remembered that I need to buy some bread since we ran out." back with the stupid lies.

Mark raised a brow sceptically but decided that he didn't care enough to question it.

"Ok then." he turned on his heel and walked in the other direction towards his house, not bothering to say goodbye.

Donghyuck stood there for a while, watching as Mark's figure disappeared with the shallow evening fog. His expression emotionless and unexpecting as he made his way back into the store. He grabbed a packet of chips and went over to pay.

Why would he expect anything different? It's not like Mark would walk him back or anything. He wouldn't care if anything happened to him or if he was cold or scared. It was stupid and useless to expect something that would never happen.

When Donghyuck walked towards the door, he spotted a black jacket at the back of one of the chairs. He quickly realised it was Mark's jacket since it was at the table they were previously sitting on.

He could just leave it, knowing the worker behind the register would pick it up and leave it in lost property for Mark to collect later once he realises it was missing.

He really could do just that. He doesn't owe Mark anything.

But, at the same time, he felt greedy.

Donghyuck slipped on the jacket and snuggled into the warmth, basking in the way it smelled of the expensive cologne that he knew Mark used and the way it was a little too big for him since he ended up drowning in it. It felt like Mark was hugging him, his warmth radiating through Donghyuck's body that not even the cold of Antarctica could break through.

It was pointless to hold onto it as tightly as he did, but Donghyuck found himself clinging onto the coat like it was his life-line, wanting to keep it protected and undamaged to give back to Mark later on.

He quickly made his way back to his dorm, using the coat as a protective shield from any fear he might've felt during his trip back. All of a sudden, he couldn't wait to finish his work.

And, all while doing his work, Donghyuck was rather confused. Mark wasn't one to leave any of his possessions behind. Mark was many things, but forgetful wasn't one of them.

Donghyuck brushed away his thoughts and stared longingly at the jacket hung up in his wardrobe.

Even though he'll be seeing him in a few hours... Donghyuck went to sleep with the thought of Mark in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fianAALLYYY!! nomin have sailed~~
> 
> now markhyuck are the only ones left hehehehe~
> 
> i'm glad i got to clear the whole norenmin mess and bring back seunghun as well!! we'll get to see more of him in the future, so don't worry!!
> 
> another episode of welcome to sun and moon was released today and kun and chenle are jUST SO SO CUTE!! they're actual brothers uwuwuwuwuwuwu~ and then nct 2020's chuseok video was so adorable omg-  
> i never thought i needed doyoung, xiaojun, taeyong and hendery in one video more than i needed it now! and sungchan and chenle were standing next to each other and omg sungchannie is a giant- and yuta and shotaro were standing next to each other oundsqonueqw and so were jaehyun and winwin uwu 97 line.
> 
> ok anyway... that happened. ever tho i'm kinda sad bc of the tests that ive been having lately and how i'm almost 99.9% certain i'm failing school... hearing such positive comments and feedback on this fic encourages me so so much!! thank you for sticking with this even tho its kind of a mess rn hehehehe~
> 
> i hope you look forward to future chapters as well!!!! <333


	21. nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> over 4k hits!! how?!?!!??!??!! nsowujkdsjnsoswuem
> 
> thank you so much!! <33 :'))
> 
> again... idk how to feel abt this chapter - but warning !! dubious consent here !!
> 
> note at the end !! :)

Mark internally grumbled at the sight of a bunch of girls waiting outside the student council room with colourful envelopes and small gifts in their hands.

As soon as one girl caught sight of him, she signalled the rest of the group, making them all turn around freakishly at the same time before they started charging over to him.

"Mark oppa! Please take these. We made them for you!" one girl stated, allowing all the others to nod in agreement (again, freakishly at the same time).

"I'm sorry, I can't accept these." Mark tried to get past the group to the student council room door, but the girls instantly moved to block him.

"We heard one of the student council members has been leaving you letters of encouragement. We can't lose to whoever they are!"

"Yeah! We've admired you for much longer!"

"Please take these!"

Mark sighed, refraining himself from giving out detentions to every girl in front of him because they were seriously annoying him now. He drifted his gaze boringly further down the hallway to look for an excuse to get out of this situation. But, instead of an excuse, the sight before him infuriated him more than the group of persistent girls waiting to give him gifts.

Mark ignored the calls of the girls behind him and clenched his fists tightly as he made his way over to the far end of the hallway, trying to keep his expression neutral since there were many people around him.

_Lee Donghyuck._

The name was like poison on his tongue. A chemical so toxic that Mark felt like he would drop dead at any moment if he didn't handle it with caution. Every time he was near the tanned skin boy, hazard signs flared in his head, warning him back.

If Donghyuck was a toxic poison, then Mark might as well be a dangerous explosion that would ignite whenever the latter was near. 

Right now, Mark felt like exploding.

Donghyuck stood small in front of none other that Kim Seunghun, his hands fiddling behind his back as he rocked on one foot, clearly shy from whatever Seunghun was telling him. Seunghun himself was a blushing mess, his cheeks and ears tinted a light pink as he asked the one question he was meaning to ask Donghyuck for a long while now.

"So... what do you say? Will you go out with-"

"You brat! What do you think you're doing?!" Mark intervened, not even caring if he just interrupted whatever Seunghun was going to say.

Donghyuck turned around and looked at Mark with wide eyes, a deep blush on his cheeks, one so pink that Mark could feel the anger bubble even more in the pit of his stomach - like an explosion waiting to ignite.

"M-Mark hyung?" Donghyuck stuttered, embarrassed to have been caught in such a situation.

"You should be in the student council room working. Why are you lingering in the hallways?! What's the point in being vice president if _you_ can't follow the school rules as well?" Mark snapped at him.

"S-sorry... I was just..." Donghyuck's words trailed off when he looked back at Seunghun and Mark fought the urge to just drag the tanned boy and throw him into the student council room himself so he wouldn't waste any more time.

"Uhh... I-I... I'll wait for you answer, Hyuck." Seunghun reassured him, sensing that it probably wasn't the right time to steal Donghyuck's attention. That... and he was seriously terrified with the deathly looks the president was sending him.

Mark seethed at the words.

_Hyuck?_

Since when did they become so close?

Donghyuck nodded and waved Seunghun off before hesitantly walking past Mark and towards the student council room. He could see the group of girls waiting outside the room, looking in their direction in determination.

"Do you girls need something?" Donghyuck asked professionally, not understanding why they were standing there with gifts in their hands.

"Vice president, please can we give Mark oppa our gifts?" one of them asked.

Sub-consciously, all the girls knew that asking Donghyuck was much easier (and safer) than asking the president himself. Mark was strict with every rule and made sure they were followed to the letter, whereas Donghyuck was more laid-back, carefree and overall... a lot less scary.

"Why won't you accept them, hyung?" Donghyuck looked back at Mark, tilting his head in confusion.

"Because I don't want to?" Mark raised a brow, as if expecting the younger to know that.

"But they bought these for you, you could at least-"

"Can you seriously just shut up and get inside?" Mark hissed, cutting off Donghyuck's words because, to him, no means _no_.

Donghyuck sighed and shook his head, he felt bad for the group of girls who whined in disappointment and rejection, but it wasn't like they were going to stop there or anything.

"Sorry, girls... the president can't accept your gifts. We're busy now, please head to class." Donghyuck tried to dismiss them politely, guilty at the sad expressions on their faces. He knew the girls were more dejected that they couldn't give Mark their gifts, but if it were him, Donghyuck would have been more heartbroken with how rude Mark was being.

When the girls begrudgingly left, Donghyuck let out a tired sigh as he slipped into the student council room and beelined towards his desk, pulling out his phone in the process.

He nibbled on his fingers, staring at the chat between him and Seunghun as he contemplated texting him, wondering if he should ask the other to meet up so he could give him some sort of answer.

What was he supposed to say anyway? He didn't see Seunghun in that way and he felt bad for leading the other on, already assuming that Seunghun may have had feelings for him, despite Donghyuck's efforts in trying to keep things friendly.

Even when Donghyuck was sure he didn't want to be anything more than friends, Seunghun's words circled in his mind. 

_"Donghyuck-ah, I don't think this is coming off as much of a surprise, but I really like you. I like you to the point that I don't know what to say to you at times. It took me way too long to muster up all my courage to approach you, and every time I did, I would always back out last minute. The '24 hour boyfriend/girlfriend' event gave me enough courage to try to show you my feelings and I really do consider myself incredibly lucky to be as close to you as I am now. I've liked you for a long time and I want to date you. Would you consider being my boyfriend? Would you let me take you out on more dates? Would you come cheer me on at my games? I really don't think anything could make me happier if you could..."_

Seunghun was sweet and caring and Donghyuck could tell his feelings were sincere. He really was perfect; tall, strong, handsome, captain of the football team... he could easily be the star of everyone's wildest dreams.

Donghyuck wouldn't _mind_ it, necessarily.

He could see himself happily being Seunghun's boyfriend. They didn't have much in common, but they could talk for hours. The gap between their academic ranks was surprisingly large, considering Donghyuck was always at top positions, but Donghyuck could overlook that as perfectly fine and wouldn't mind study dates either.

It's not like there's anything wrong with having a boyfriend like Seunghun. Donghyuck couldn't see anything bad coming out of it - there were no down sides, no consequences, no negatives.

Seunghun was _ideal_ for him.

"If I catch you daydreaming one more time, I'm kicking you out."

_But he wasn't Mark._

"You can't kick me out. You _need_ me." Donghyuck snapped back at him.

"What I _need_ is someone who pays attention and does their work diligently and on time." Mark argued. 

"I have bigger problems right now!" Donghyuck whined in annoyance, flitting his attention back to his phone screen where Seunghun's contact was still open.

"Bigger than checking over the school's fundraiser events reports? The ones I asked you to do yesterday?" Mark deadpanned sarcastically.

"Way bigger than that." Donghyuck replied easily, "I have a confession to respond to. It's a big deal!"

"Confession?" Mark mumbled under his breath, the lack of response from the younger assured him that he didn't hear. So, that Seunghun guy was _confessing_ to Donghyuck? Ahhh... they wouldn't look good together, in his respective, completely unbiased opinion.

"What do you think I should do?" Donghyuck dropped his head onto his desk, pouting as he stared at his phone in despair.

"I mean, I've been asking you to just do your fucking work... but hey, when do you ever listen?" Mark grumbled lowly, already feeling a headache coming along.

"Useless. You're actually useless." Donghyuck snarled at him before deciding he didn't have enough time, nor did Mark have enough patience to deal with this right now. 

He clicked off his phone and put the device into his bag rather than his pocket, so he wouldn't be tempted to keep checking it. He pulled out the fundraiser reports from his drawer and started working on them, getting lost in the tranquil work environment.

"By the way, have you listened to KAI's new album?" he asked casually after a good thirty minutes of silent working.

"Yeah, it's great." Mark hummed in agreement, not bothering to look up, not that Donghyuck was looking anywhere but at his screen either.

"I agree."

"What are you doing here, Donghyuck?" Mark clicked his tongue when the tanned boy walked onto the courts. He looked behind the latter and saw a healthy amount of students who looked strikingly similar to the ones in the school's theatre club - he just made an assumption since he was never one to pay much attention to that particular area of performing arts.

"The stage lights in the theatre department were scheduled to be fixed today, so we had to move rehearsal location. The courts were the only available indoor place that was big enough for us." Donghyuck explained, already moving around to map out the amount of space he was planning on using.

"Well, I don't know if you forgot, but we have basketball practise, so you can't use the courts." Mark walked up to the latter, effectively stopping him from marking his territory on the courts.

"I left a permit to use the courts on your desk, hyung. It's not like you didn't know about it." Donghyuck replied with ease.

"No you didn't. I never received a note for your club to use the courts." Mark crossed his arms.

"Yes you did. I left it on your desk _three_ days ago. That should've been plenty of notice." Donghyuck defended himself, before waving a hand over to his theatre club, gesturing them over.

Mark raised his own hand, and the theatre club froze in their positions immediately, not daring to move.

"There was no permit. I didn't sign anything. You can't use the courts." Mark said sternly.

"There _was_ a permit. You had all the time to sign it. Anyone can use the courts." Donghyuck challenged, stepping closer to the older.

The members of the theatre club and the basketball team suddenly shuffled closer, mixing their differences to share the tension that soon fell upon the room as they watched the president and vice president do what they did best - argue.

"I'm not playing around, Donghyuck. I sit at my desk every day and not once did I see a permit slip. And even if I did, I didn't sign it and therefore, you don't have permission to use the courts." Mark had a warning glint in his eyes, one that would usually signal everyone to stay clear and not to mess with him, but Donghyuck had never, _ever_ listened to it.

"So, when the spring production comes around in just a few months and the entire student body as well as the principle, alumni and other members of the school faculty - when they all come to watch, only to see how unprepared we were, all because _someone_ wasn't willing enough to share space for the theatre club to practise... would you take the blame for that?" Donghyuck provoked. To everyone else, he was putting forth a reasonable argument, but to Mark, Donghyuck was _playing_ with him.

"Are you going to be petty with me now?" Mark gritted his teeth.

"Hey, I wouldn't have to do this if you were more organised and just signed the permit." Donghyuck shrugged carelessly.

"Listen here, you spoiled brat-"

"Donghyuck-ssi, we can just go to the field instead." someone from the theatre club interrupted and everyone looked straight at him, fearing for his life at the way he just _cut_ Mark's words off.

"The field?" Donghyuck moved his body so it was a little in front of Mark, trying to get the older to refrain himself from potentially murdering one of his club members.

"Yeah, if we can't use the courts, I'm sure your boyfriend would let us use the field." the boy continued.

_Boyfriend?_

Wait... _what?_

Mark looked over at Donghyuck judgingly, not knowing when the latter's single status had been revoked. But, when he looked at the tanned boy, all he could see were flushed cheeks and tinted ears, an embarrassed look etched all over his face.

"I-I'll see what I c-can do..." Donghyuck cursed himself for stuttering, not knowing how to act under the curious gazes shot his way from those who didn't know about the news.

Donghyuck turned to Mark with a scowl, not wanting to admit defeat.

"Because of _your_ lack of organisation, we'll have to compromise." Donghyuck seethed in annoyance, pointing an accusing finger at him, "Hope you're happy."

Mark watched as Donghyuck headed off the courts with his theatre club trailing behind. 

Happy wasn't exactly the word Mark would use to describe what he was feeling right now. But in the end... he just didn't care.

"Did you hear? Football team captain is dating the vice president?!"

"Seriously?! Kim Seunghun and Lee Donghyuck?"

"I didn't expect that."

"Are you sure they're dating?"

"They would totally make a power couple."

Mark blocked out all the unnecessary noise, plugging in his earphones and drowning out whatever bullshit rumours he could overhear. 

Just this morning, he found out that Donghyuck received a confession from Seunghun and then, by the end of the day, they're dating? What? How stupid was that?!

He could confidentially say that Donghyuck hadn't accepted the confession yet, he just knew that for a fact. If anything, the two were probably at that weird stage where they could be considered a couple, but either one of them isn't too sure yet, or they've decided to keep their relationship low-key, which in itself was very unlikely since, knowing Donghyuck, he definitely liked to flaunt everything he had.

Mark ignored the entire idea of Kim Seunghun. The guy was nothing special, in his opinion. Sure, he was captain of the football team. But that was basically it, that was all Mark heard of him. He had no other achievements or awards that were unrelated to football and wasn't commended in a particular subject or major; only noted down to be on the waiting list for a sports scholarship in a state university. 

Mark assumed that Donghyuck must've seen something extra-ordinary in him, but he wasn't worried.

Mark knew he didn't need to worry at all. He wasn't even the slightest bit on edge. If Donghyuck had a boyfriend, they would inevitably have to stop their whole fuckbuddy arrangements. But, as normal, Mark didn't care in the slightest. He didn't care because he didn't need to worry. He didn't need to worry because he knew nothing would happen. Nothing would change.

A small smirk made its way onto his lips a couple of hours later when he opened the door to his house and saw Donghyuck standing before him. He watched the younger step inside and wordlessly make his way up the stairs and Mark couldn't even hide the evil grin on his face as they followed on with their usual routine.

He didn't waste time to strip them of their clothes and pushed the younger onto the bed, flipping him around and grabbing their necessities for the night.

"M-Mark... slow! Slower... p-please!" Donghyuck cried out into the pillow and Mark just watched it all with a knowing look as he pounded into the latter from behind.

As always, Mark didn't listen. He doesn't take orders from anyone and Donghyuck knows that. He keeps at his gruelling pace before leaning down to whisper in the younger's ear sensually.

"What would Seunghun think about this?" Mark had to hold back a laugh when he could feel Donghyuck's body shudder under his tight grasp.

"D-don't talk about him." Donghyuck muttered out, clenching the sheets tightly, pain and pleasure shooting through his body as Mark did whatever he liked with him.

"Imagine his face when he sees you like this." the older continued with no shame, "When he sees _you_ getting wrecked by _me_... what would he think?"

"Mark! S-stop it!" Donghyuck begged and Mark found it especially fascinating. The way Donghyuck would have the nerve to challenge him in front of people for the littlest of things and make them into a big argument; but as soon as the younger was under him - he was nothing.

"It wouldn't be fair on him, right? You're dating him, but you're still meeting with me." Mark mocked heartlessly.

Donghyuck could hear the pity in his tone and he knew Mark was having fun with this. He wasn't dating Seunghun, but they were more official than whatever he and Mark were. So, in a way, this was practically _cheating_. 

"Poor Seungh-"

"P-please! Please d-don't say his n-name!" Donghyuck sobbed, guilt invading all his senses, but all that guilt and remorse was quickly replaced by the amount of pain he could feel all over. Even after so long of doing this; it hurt like _hell_. 

Donghyuck knew he would never receive this kind of treatment from anyone else. No one would hurt him like Mark did. Seunghun was right for him, he was right for him and right there, waiting for him. It was so wrong to keep Seunghun waiting like that while he's being pleasured by someone else. Donghyuck could give Seunghun better, he could do better for him. Seunghun was still waiting...

But he _can't_.

Donghyuck can't do it.

He can't will away any of his feelings for Mark. He can't throw them away and pretend they don't exist. He can't just act like the feelings he has for Mark don't eat him out alive and consume every ounce of his energy in the most exhilarating way possible. 

Seunghun may be good for him.

But Mark is _everything_.

And, even if he desperately wanted to, Donghyuck knows he can't move on that easily.

"I knew it, I knew they were just rumours. Donghyuck and Seunghun aren't actually dating. Our vice president deserves so much better!"

"But Seunghun is such a hot catch! I can't believe the vice president rejected him."

"They were probably too good to be true anyway."

"Oh well, the vice president still belongs to everyone in the end."

Mark smiled knowingly to himself as he walked through the hallways the following day, overhearing newer, updated gossip being shared around.

Now _that_ was music to his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oK! you might have recognised that i didn't update yesterday!! one! sorryyyyy i was so tried i really couldn't :(( two! i had to study :'( three! i'm nearly catching up to the chapters that i'm currently writing, so i need to slow down with the updates so i can finish writing new chapters - just to prevent me from releasing all twenty five chapters and then making you guys wait until i write a new one (bc of school... i've been busy! but i'm reaching a big climax right now... plus there's a lot of aftermath, so i need time to write and catch up!! hope you understand!! updates will still be as frequent as i can make them :)  
> again... sorry for that :'(( thank you to those who are still sticking with this book (idk why... but thank you so so much!)
> 
> !! NOTICE !!
> 
> just a reminder that THIS IS A FANFIC! this plot isn't inspired by true events and the characters i'm using have no relation to the nct members irl !! i want to make that really clear!! when i was thinking of this plot over lockdown + summer, i had a really BIG idea that i wanted to incorporate - so that meant a LOT of plot ideas that i didn't want to just exclude (i was really greedy abt that sry ;-;) the characterization of these characters are only part of this long-messy trope that i've thought up and are in no way intended to harm or belittle any of the nct members. i love nct with my whole heart and i've truly never had an infatuation or interest over anything or anyone else. i'm writing this bc i was semi-proud of my idea and i wanted to use my favourite group of people as the characters! i had no intention to make them appear selfish/heartless/cruel/weak/pathetic... this is just the storyline that i came up with and really want to see through. Honestly, for me, it's more of an experiment to see where i can take this story, how i can finish it and what people think about it. 
> 
> i thought about it many times when i was writing this and i was seriously terrified to upload this bc its my first time uploading a mature work like this. i didn't want to seem like a heartless person who could write people in such a sense when they're no where near like this irl.   
> i can easily say that it physically pains me to write both mark and hyuck like this. but for the purpose of this storyline/trope that i spent a lot of time arranging, i wanted to use my favourite otp and try it out.
> 
> i was honestly really surprised when i got so much attention and support for this book, which was why i made it clear that i always feel anxious and insecure when updating and when i don't necessarily like a chapter. it's not that i don't want to go back and change it... rather, every part of this fic, all the chapters, every chapter that simply outlines the individual characters or markhyuck's relationship, is really important for the climax + aftermath of this story - also why i hope you stick with this book long enough to find out and then give me your feedback once its over!!
> 
> i'm scared that people think i'm ruining the image of some nct members, and if that's the case... then i'll seriously stop bc that's the last thing i want. i really enjoy writing this and i really hope you guys are enjoying reading this and hope to look forward to future chapters!
> 
> you might have already figured out that markhyuck WILL BE ENDGAME !! but i can't just let them kiss and make up and then they live happily ever after, so every aspect that i'm writing both mark and hyuck in, is important ! i hope you understand my intentions :)
> 
> again, i'm really sorry if my message or warnings wasn't made clear in the tags beforehand. if anyone thinks i can add more to the tags, please let me know!! i don't want people reading things that make them uncomfortable in any way.
> 
> thank you so much for the support!! <33  
> see you next chapter!


	22. twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NXWIUNOIMJQ AFTER THREE DAYS OF NOT POSTING I'M BACK :')))
> 
> sorry again for this shitty chapter - but heads up! the next upcoming chapters are quite plot heavy (hence the tag) - just a lot goes on and there's something different happening in every chapter for the added slow burn effect ya know?
> 
> anyway! i think this chapter was a little rushed... but i hope you like it :'((
> 
> ALSSOOOO!!! !! Trigger Warning !! for this chapter - attempted sexual harassment (its not explicit... but it is there and is the focus of this chapter)
> 
> (sorry sorry)

"I still can't believe you rejected Kim Seunghun." Jaemin shook his head in disappointment. "I mean... do you prefer basketball over football or something like that?"

"It's not about that." Donghyuck rolled his eyes, resting his head against the table, following his usual routine of wallowing in the cafeteria in despair.

"Is this about his crush on Mark Lee?" Jeno whispered lowly, being the last one of the three to find out about the latter's feelings for the president.

"Yep." Renjun pressed his lips together tightly and nodded, "A stupid reason to explain why he rejected Seunghun, but he won't back down from it."

"Ugh! Just forget it... I don't care anymore." Donghyuck shot up from his laying position on the table and glared at everyone.

"You say that, but-"

"Don't." Donghyuck quickly cut Jaemin's words off, "I don't want to hear it. I already know rejecting Seunghun was very idiotic of me, but I'm more sad that things between us are awkward now. I liked hanging out with him..."

"I'm pretty sure the only reason why you rejected Seunghun was because you have feelings for someone else." Renjun clarified, "But, from the sounds of it, you probably have some feelings for Seunghun as well. You should give him a chance, it's not too late to go back to him."

"What if he's moved on?" Donghyuck frowned, inwardly deflating at the thought.

"If he moved on from you barely three days after he confessed... then he's a jerk." Jaemin deadpanned in all seriousness and everyone nodded in agreement.

Donghyuck contemplated finding Seunghun and seeing if his confession was still open for a different response. But when he looked over to the other side of the cafeteria, to where Mark was sitting, he couldn't stop himself from putting his intentions on hold.

"Maybe." he concluded, just so his friends would be satisfied with an answer.

"By the way," Renjun started, changing the subject of the conversation, "what happened to your arm?"

Donghyuck looked down and saw that the bandage on his arm was peeking through his sleeve slightly. He quickly pulled his shirt sleeve down and tried to cover it up again.

"Nothing, just a scratch." Donghyuck brushed off.

"It can't be 'just a scratch' for a big bandage that big." Renjun looked at him questioningly.

Donghyuck breathed out slowly, a discomforting memory of what happened last night entering his head. It was part of the reason why he was in such a terrible mood this morning. 

The comfort of his friends eased his mind and prevented him from feeling the loneliness he felt last night when he found himself in an alleyway with people he didn't know. 

It was _terrifying_. The memory was still clear and prominent in his head, the fear creeping up his spine, just like it had done last night.

He remembered going back to the dorms a little later than usual from Mark's house. Even though his fear of being alone in the middle of the night hadn't in any way diminished, he couldn't bring himself to voice out his worries to Mark. He doubted Mark would do anything to ease his anxiety, so he never brought it up.

Last night, when he was done fucking around with Mark, he left the house wordlessly as usual, but he must've underestimated the dangers lurking in the dark because, he soon found himself pressed against the wall in a dark alleyway, barely making out the outline of two or three figures holding him down, horrifyingly armed with knives.

His desire to keep living, his arrogance, his pride of not backing down from a fight and his _teeth_ managed to give him a fighting chance that let him escape and sprint for his life back to his dorm, where he tended to the wound on his arm all by himself, not wanting to worry Renjun at the time.

Now that he thinks back to yesterday, he couldn't help but shiver, dread coursing through his body like a tidal wave that was yet to cease.

He didn't want to concern anyone, he didn't want them to worry about his problems, so he kept quiet and let his thoughts eat him out alive, praying he would just stop thinking due to the fear of his tear ducts betraying him and he would end up getting upset in front of everyone.

That would be bad.

It didn't help that when he looked up, Seunghun passed their table and ended up locking gazes with him briefly. Donghyuck watched with a frown when Seunghun tore his gaze away instantly and headed in the direction he was going. He really didn't want things to be awkward between them, but it wasn't like they could just go back to how things were before.

"Make sure to finish these by the end of the day." 

If it couldn't get any worse for him, a clear, plastic folder was dropped in front of his face on the table, snapping him out of his thoughts as he looked up and was met with the annoyingly handsome sight of Mark Lee.

"Don't hand them in late again." Mark instructed before turning around and leaving, not even bothering with the deathly glares Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin were giving him.

Donghyuck only sighed and picked up the folder before slipping it into his bag. He couldn't even bother arguing with Mark. He felt completely drained of energy and defeated in all aspects. But who could he tell? Who could he talk to? 

He felt annoyed and stressed and tired, but he didn't want to tell his friends.

He felt sad and discouraged and useless, but he didn't want to call his mother and try to tell her.

Reluctantly, he got up from his seat, bid a half-hearted farewell to the others (which didn't go unnoticed) and left the cafeteria to head to the student council room. 

Seeing Mark brought him some sense of relief. If Mark was a little more considerate, maybe he wouldn't have to suffer the way he did last night, but he couldn't blame the older since he didn't know.

But being in the same room as Mark was nice. They sat at their separate desks, worked silently and only exchanged a few words when needed to. When they weren't arguing, everything around them was peaceful and content and even though Mark made up probably sixty-percent of the stress Donghyuck had been feeling, he was also one of the very few things that helped him relax as well.

Which, by the way, doesn't make any fucking sense.

How can a person be the cause to your stress and the relief to your pain at the same time?!

What kind of god-forbidden bullshit is this?!!

"Do I even want to know?" Mark started off, not even looking away from his laptop.

"Huh?" Donghyuck turned to look at him, eyebrow raised in confusion.

"You've got that 'I'm overthinking and don't know who to tell' face on." Mark spared him a glance, his face as expressionless and as unexpecting as ever.

"I-... I do?" Donghyuck didn't even know such a facial expression could exist. 

"By now, you would be asking me for my advice on something." Mark shrugged with little care but, to Donghyuck, it was surprising to hear.

Maybe Mark paid more attention to him than he thought.

"I'm just... stressed." Donghyuck leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling in contemplation.

"I mean, you signed up to the stress when you entered college." 

"I know that." Donghyuck shot him a glare, slowly getting angry at how unbothered Mark looked. Of course, he knew better than anyone else that Mark was the kind of person to be silently stressed and would never voice his worries out to other people.

It was one of the main reasons why Donghyuck did the same and decided to deal with his problems in silence; preferring that than worrying others.

"Is it work related?" Mark questioned.

"No... not really." Donghyuck answered half-honestly. Work load had never really been a problem for him; he could complain about it all he wanted, but he'd still do it with ease anyway. "Ugh! I should really talk to Seunghun..." his words trailed off. If he cleared things up with Seunghun and they could return on better terms, that would at least take one worry off his list.

Unknowing to him, Mark rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath, clenching his fist tightly before letting it fall lax. If he wanted Donghyuck to be stressed about something, he'd rather he be stressed about work or assignments, not boys.

"Maybe he'll give me another chanc-"

"Stop talking. I don't care." Mark interrupted him with a monotonous voice, suddenly very disinterested in whatever Donghyuck was going to say.

Donghyuck learned not to take the older's coldness to heart, but it didn't stop the sinking feeling he felt in his chest when Mark showed no care towards him. 

He keeps telling himself the same thing.

He keeps telling himself not to expect anything from Mark, because there was nothing to expect.

So he renders himself back to silence and focuses his attention back on his work. And when Mark connects his phone to the mini-speaker on his desk and plays soft r&b, he relaxes to the point where he could probably fall asleep to the soulful sound of melodies resonating throughout the scarce room that allowed him to hum to the words as freely as he could.

Mark doesn't care about him.

But, for some reason, Donghyuck doesn't mind.

Mark doesn't care about him.

So, when Donghyuck ends up in his bed the same evening, the younger is confused to see Mark look at him with a strange expression.

"What's this?" Mark raised a brow, his eye instantly catching the long cut on the tanned boy's arm.

"I'm sure you're smart enough to know that it's a cut." Donghyuck bites back and Mark just rolled his eyes.

"I know that, idiot." he snarled, "How did you get it?" the cut wasn't deep and it definitely wouldn't leave a visible scar after it healed, but it looked new and fresh and it was way too big to not cause concern.

Donghyuck instantly regretted taking his bandage off. It attracted too much attention and his wound had healed to the point where it wouldn't get infected, so he saw no need for any covering. But, with the way Mark was looking at it, he couldn't help but contemplate asking the older if he should bandage it up again.

"It doesn't matter. Can we just continue?" Donghyuck brushed off the topic, fingers reaching up to un-do the older's shirt buttons. He was almost done until a pair of hands stopped his own. He could feel his heart thump erratically against his chest when Mark held his hands and he prayed his cheeks weren't too red.

"Tell me." Mark ordered, "It looks new. Did you get it recently? How did it happen? Was this why you were acting out all day?"

"Nothing. It's fine, hyung. Please. Let's just continue." Donghyuck whined, trying to pull his hands out of the older's hold, not wanting to answer any of the questions Mark fired at him.

"For fucks sake, Donghyuck!" Mark threw the younger's hands out of his grip harshly, "I asked you a fucking question and you're supposed to answer me! If you keep this up, I'll have to punish you so badly, you'll be covered up in bruises." Donghyuck shuddered at the words, not understanding why Mark wasn't leaving the conversation alone. "Just fucking tell me!"

"Ok fine!! Fucking hell!" Donghyuck yelled, pushing himself off the bed and grabbing his shirt. He wasn't in the mood to continue now anyway. "Some stupid thugs on the street tried to attack me last night. I escaped though, so it's no big deal." Donghyuck shrugged, as if the fear of that night hadn't been the reason why he wasn't able to think straight or concentrate the entire day.

"Wait what?" Mark stood up at the younger's words, not expecting to hear that.

"Just fuck off already." Donghyuck groaned, heading for the door, "In case you and your privileged ass didn't know, people are out at night. It happens all the time."

"All the time?" Mark repeated quietly, too lost in his thoughts to realise that the younger had already left his room. Has this happened before? 

Mark's not stupid. He knows about the kind of activities that happen when the night was high and there were dangerous people roaming around the streets. All he knew was that, as soon as Donghyuck steps out of his room, he's no longer Mark's problem. If the younger was that worried, he could just get a bus or a taxi. No one asked him to walk all the way back to his dorm. 

It's not his fault there are people out there waiting in shady alleyways, equipped with knives and other things, ready to attack innocent people. Especially cute, innocent, young boys like him. Donghyuck was smart enough to know what to do. He should've said something instead of trying to act all strong and unbothered throughout the day. Donghyuck really was a mindless idiot and Mark wasn't about to be guilt-tripped in the slightest.

Not his problem at all.

Donghyuck clutched his coat tightly, eyes trained to the ground as he walked along the pathway, despite his legs practically feeling like jelly. He contemplated taking a bus, only to remember that he hadn't brought any money with him due to the amount of times he had decided to walk home instead. Occasionally, he looked up in case someone else was near him, but to his relief, he didn't see anybody.

It was all good- "WOAH!" 

He felt a pull on his hand until he was tugged all the way into a dark corner of an alleyway, one that looked painfully familiar. And, soon, Donghyuck was faced with unrecognisable faces. _Ugly_. They were all ugly with crime and bad deeds.

Fear creeped up to the surface of his skin and he willed himself not to cry. If he did, it would only fuel his offenders' egos, and that was the last thing he needed.

"So you're the boy who messed with our guy?" one of them said and Donghyuck was smart enough to know that the person the guy in front of him was talking about was probably the person who attacked him with a knife yesterday, the one Donghyuck had bitten before running away from. At the time, it seemed like the only rational thing to do and Donghyuck just >em>really wanted to keep living.

"Uhhh... no? I think you got the wrong boy? I'm not that boy? Must be a different boy! Are you sure it was a boy?" Donghyuck rambled nervously, stepping back in hope that he would somehow exit the alleyway and go home in peace.

"Look." the guy pointed at him before turning back to one of his many friends behind him, "He's limping. You injured little thing?"

"He could be limping for other reasons." another one of them laughed darkly and Donghyuck felt his blood run cold in humiliation. They were wrong in every sense, Donghyuck had hit his leg while being dragged off by them, but he couldn't bring himself to explain, knowing it wouldn't alter his current situation and the results it would bring.

"Oh you're right." the first guy chuckled, "That's giving me ideas." and the next thing he knew, he was shoved against a wall and could barely let out a scream when a hand covered his mouth. "Stay quiet, I know it's hard." the guy mocked and Donghyuck felt sick to his stomach. He felt absolutely disgusting.

The guy was gradually leaning in closer and Donghyuck could smell the tobacco in his breath, but before anything could happen, a flash of light was directed into the dark alleyway, a beam resembling one being emitted from a torch.

'The police? God... please let it be the police.' Donghyuck internally begged, quickly dismissing the blatantly stupid idea of the beam of light being an angel sent from the heavens to save him (he wasn't that spiritual).

"What the fuck?" the guy holding him down cursed to himself before stepping away from the tanned boy.

Donghyuck blinked a few times, adjusting to the amount of light. But before he could say anything, for the second time, he felt a hand on his arm before being pulled away. The hand slowly went down to his own and a rush of warmth tingled through Donghyuck's entire body, challenging the confusion that he was currently feeling as his previous fear slowly dissipated.

He didn't know what was happening until the person that was pulling him sprinted out of the alleyway and into the light, just under the dimness of a street lamp, Donghyuck took time to catch his breath from how far they had ran away, but when he looked up, his eyes widened at the person in front of him.

"M-Mark hyung? What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly from the tiny flickers of trauma that he just went through, causing his heart to race at a hundred miles per hour. 

Mark stood there with bated breath and dishevelled hair, as if he had ran all the way to find him. 

Mark would never do that. He's not the kind of person to do that. So why did Donghyuck get a warm feeling in his chest at the thought of Mark doing that for him?

Mark didn't answer, he just dragged Donghyuck by the hand and took him back to his house. He didn't day anything as he pulled the younger up the stairs and into his room, just like he had done earlier on in the evening they barely got to share. To the younger's surprise, Mark pushed him down on the bed and started unzipping his jacket and un-buttoning his shirt. 

"M-Mark hyung! N-no!" Donghyuck stuttered, hands reaching out to stop the older. Mark just brushed his hands away and ignored his protests, continuing with what he was doing until Donghyuck was only left in his underwear. Donghyuck felt his face heat up, not liking the situation one bit. He felt like crying and didn't know what to do or say.

He was on the verge of a complete breakdown. A painful confusion hurting his head, and his heart throbbing erratically, not understanding why Mark was doing this to him.

"Jeez, calm down... I'm not going to do anything." Mark rolled his eyes, before examining the younger's body shamelessly.

"Y-you're not?" Donghyuck whipped open his previously screwed shut eyes and stared at the older in bewilderment. It was only when Donghyuck noticed the older's gaze did he understand what he was doing. 

Was Mark... was Mark making sure he didn't get hurt? Was he checking for cuts or bruises? Was Mark... _caring_ for him?

"Hyung... I'm ok. They didn't do anything." Donghyuck sat up, taking Mark by his wrists and pushing the older's hands away from his body in subtle rejection. "They were just pissed that I retaliated against the guy that did this." he pointed at the cut on his arm and watched as Mark gave the wound a short glance before looking back at him.

"Thanks for the help. I'll get going now." Donghyuck put his clothes back on as quickly as he could, not wanting to stay in the awkward situation anymore. He didn't understand why Mark ran after him. They didn't even have sex tonight, so Mark didn't need to do anything for him.

His head hurt like hell now as it slowly developed into a migraine and he couldn't think about anything anymore. The entire day, he had been stressed out of his mind and the events of this evening just weren't helping him in any way. Why couldn't Mark understand that?

"Just stay for the night. Don't act strong when you can't even take care of yourself." Mark instructed him, his tone harsh and bitter, void of any sympathy, "I wouldn't have to say this if I knew that you would've been able to protect yourself from whatever could've happened tonight. So shut up and take the couch. Don't argue with me." 

Donghyuck wanted to lash out and yell at him, argue saying that he didn't need the older's help. Maybe if he said it in a nicer way, Donghyuck wouldn't be looking for objects in the room that he could use to hit Mark with. 

Unwillingly, he just nodded his head and dropped his stuff before walking over to the couch. Mark didn't have the adequacy or politeness to offer him his bed, or another spare room out of the huge-ass mansion that he lived in. Mark probably gave him too much kindness for one night (one lifetime), why would he expect more?

And, when he woke up the next morning in a bed he's been in so many times before, but with his clothes still on and the blanket tucked up to his chin, he doesn't know what to believe. 

He doesn't bother looking for Mark, knowing the older probably didn't want to see him right now either. He just grabs his belongings and heads for the door, leaving a note of gratitude in Mark's room for the older boy. 

As soon as they see each other in school, everything will go back to normal like it always did and, for the first time, Donghyuck anticipated it.

Mark's confusing him. His words and his actions left him painfully perplexed with how conflicting and contradictory they were.

He just doesn't understand anymore.

_Hey dickhead,_

_Thanks for saving my ass back in the alleyway. I could've totally handled them on my own, but it was nice of you to step in._

_Also, thanks for letting me stay the night. I've gone back to my dorm to avoid troubling your privileged, spoiled ass further :)_

_See you at school._

_-Hyuck_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhh... you already know where i'm going with this.
> 
> sorry again for not updating for a few days! i was busy writing more chapters and i accidentally ended up writing a chapter with 7k words - ik... i messed up with word length consistency it's so so sad :(((
> 
> but anyway! as i said... next few chapters are kind of intense and more dramatic? like the "cliché" and "plot-heavy" aspect of the tags are shining through more lmao....
> 
> thank you so so much for the support and for the lovely comments, especially after last chapter! i was feeling so discouraged and worried, but you guys completely flipped the switch for me and now i feel more motivated than ever to update and finish this fic!!! thank you so so much!!
> 
> i'm sorry the fic is angsty so far, i also can't wait till everything clears up and i can write cute and fluffy moments!! :)))
> 
> thank you so much!!! <33


	23. twenty one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!
> 
> as i mentioned in the last chapter, the upcoming chapters can seem a little random at times. but that is somewhat intentional! it's just markhyuck in college... and there's always lots that goes on in college!!
> 
> so i hope that you like this chapter !!
> 
> as always... thank you so much for the undying support!!

The rivalry between Mark Lee and Lee Donghyuck could probably go down in history within the walls of Seoul International College.

Of course, they hated each other; it was obvious to all. But hatred doesn't just come out of thin air, there's a reason behind it.

And if someone was asked what that reason was, they would instantly say that both Mark and Donghyuck constantly fought to be number _one_. 

Having both taken business as their major and therefore filling up their schedules with similar subjects, Mark and Donghyuck tirelessly fought for first rank in all their classes. The students of Seoul International gradually lost hope in trying to overtake them, since the two boys only cared if they were better than each other.

There was even a time last year when Donghyuck ended up ranking number one. The entire student body gaped at the sight of the tanned boy's name right above their student council president, Mark Lee's. It was a sight they never thought they'd see and, honestly, they were terrified.

Their fears only came to life when Mark and Donghyuck got into a massive argument, one that almost resulted into a fight but, luckily, the teachers stepped in and the principal threatened to revoke their student council titles and privileges if they didn't bury whatever hatchet of a problem they had.

Now, they both _silently_ fought for number one and kept their arguments and jealousy to a minimum whenever the other stole first place from them. It sedated to the point that rumours of the two congratulating each other instead of firing insults had circled around school - of course, no one believed it.

Donghyuck, however, had found that he himself changed a little. Ever since he came to terms with his feelings, everything suddenly made more sense to him. Envy, pride, greed; those were the kind of emotions and feelings that would torment him whenever Mark occupied first rank. But, amidst all of that, Donghyuck felt... _proud_.

Mark worked day in day out, with the amount of effort he put in, it was inevitable that he would only ever fall into the top three. Donghyuck knew that very well, and he couldn't deny the fact that whenever he passed by the student ranking notice board and saw Mark's name at number one; for a short moment, he would forget about every other name on that list, even his own. All he would do was feel proud of Mark. 

He wanted to run up to Mark and tell him that he got ranked as number one. He wanted to hug Mark and tell him that he did so well. He wanted to kiss Mark and tell him how proud he was of him and that his efforts really paid off.

But, every time he sees the older, his feet end up being glued to the ground and he can't even move. The only thing that moves is his mouth, and at that point, all the wrong words are already spilling out; he only ever insults Mark, wanting to show how bitter he was for being second to him.

Even though he doesn't mean to.

And, when it's the other way round, during the few occasions Donghyuck had actually managed to beat Mark in a particular subject or two in their major, he expects as much as he wanted in return. He wanted praise and hugs and kisses. He wanted Mark to be proud of him as well. 

Then again, he couldn't really blame Mark for the way he treated him. If Donghyuck didn't have the courage to even say 'well done' to Mark, how could he get anything from him in return?

Donghyuck found his little dilemma immensely frustrating. He could easily talk and flirt with anyone he wanted, but when it came to Mark... all the words he wanted to say died in his throat and nothing came out. It was annoying and hurtful and he didn't know why the words he wanted to say to Mark would stay in his head for hours after he had failed to say them to the older in real life.

It didn't even have to be romantic, all Donghyuck wanted to do was say something congratulatory to Mark and maybe hope for something similar in return. It wasn't even that hard!

Donghyuck had spent so much time sulking over his thoughts that he didn't even recognise how late it had become, especially since winter brought the dark over way too early for his liking.

"Aren't you going back to your dorm now?" Mark asked as he packed up his stuff and headed for the door, but stopped midway after noticing the younger still at his desk, with no plans of moving.

"I will. I just need to finish this." Donghyuck replied, eyes not leaving the sheets in front of him.

"But we've already finished all the council work?" Mark raised a brow, not knowing why he was suddenly so interested.

"I know. This is homework for class. I can't do this set and it's in for tomorrow morning." Donghyuck's frown only deepened as he stared at the sickening algorithms on the sheet of paper in front of him. 

He kept meaning to do it earlier, but he'd been so stumped with all his other work, as well as learning lines for his upcoming production and then student council meetings on top of it all; he just couldn't find the time to finish this measly piece of work. 

It only got worse since he knew his teacher of this class hated him specifically. It's not entirely his fault that advanced maths really wasn't his subject and he doesn't entirely know why he was taking it in the first place, despite acing the class for the entire year. It's not like he was ever bad at it, but Donghyuck was the kind of person who practised things as soon as he learned them, knowing that if he left it for later on, he'll lose the pace he had built up in class. 

Now was one of the very, very rare occasions where he momentarily lost his pace and ended up staring blankly at the equations on the sheet of paper in front of him.

"It's ok, I'll lock up. Have a good night, Mark hyung." Donghyuck looked up briefly, giving the older a genuine smile before glancing back at his sheet. 

Technically, Mark could just take that as a sign to leave and entrust the younger to lock up after him. 

He really, _really_ should to do just that. 

Donghyuck heard shuffling and looked up, only to see Mark taking off his coat and tossing it onto the couch. To his surprise, Mark walked over to his desk, dragging one of the chairs from the long table where their meetings were held and sitting himself next to Donghyuck, who just looked stunned at what the older was doing.

"Hyung, what are you-"

"Do you want to finish this or what?" Mark said sternly, "I passed this class with one of the top grades last year, so I'll generously offer my expertise to you since you clearly don't know shit."

"Actually never mind, I don't need your help." Donghyuck grumbled, he'd rather sit here till morning than have Mark try and help him.

"I know for a fact that you'll forget to lock up, so finish this quickly and then go." Mark rolled his eyes, looking back at the paper in front of him and easily calculating the answers in his head.

Donghyuck weighed out the pros and cons of this situation. He could just take the work back to his dorm and finish it there, without having to endure Mark's scrutinizing gaze any more than he already had to. Or, he could just watch Mark be all hot and smart and sexy when he talks about something related to pi and the square root of whatever equation he was explaining.

"Yah! Are you listening? Or am I just wasting my time?" Mark snapped at him and Donghyuck was instantly brought out of his thoughts yet again.

He decided to make use of the opportunity and actually started to pay attention.

"S-sorry..." Donghyuck blushed, praying that Mark didn't catch him practically drooling at how hot the older was when he concentrated on his work. The close proximity between them behind the younger's desk wasn't helping at all either. 

Surprisingly, Mark was good at teaching and Donghyuck ended up understanding more from Mark than he ever did from his teacher in the past year he had been taking this course. 

'Sexy body, sexy brain... what does he _not_ have?' Donghyuck groaned mentally, hating how perfect the older was.

The entire situation was kind of weird.

Firstly, isn't Mark technically hindering his position as first rank by helping the boy who was second by barely any difference? Mark's aware of that... _right_?

Secondly... what the actual fuck is going on right now?

Mark was only helping him with his homework, but in between, the two ended up drifting off onto other topics. Occasionally talking about things related to student council and a meeting they had recently or will have soon, or about lessons and teachers, or about other things like the students at their school. 

Mark himself found it amusing how Donghyuck had gossip on everyone he knew, spitting shade on them behind closed doors, knowing that Mark didn't care enough to snitch on him. 

They were so busy talking, they didn't even realise how long it had been until after they finished and got ready to head out. For the first time, their conversation wasn't only filled with spiteful comments.

But, for some reason, Donghyuck should've known better.

He should've known that when things get bad for him, they tend to get worse straight after because, as soon as they reached the main entrance of the school, the only thing they were met with was the sight of grey shutters blocking the doors from the outside.

Shit.

Shit.

_Shit!_

"Fuck... we're locked in." Donghyuck cursed, not understanding why he didn't realise anything when they walked through a _whole_ hallway without noticing how the lights were all turned off.

Were they seriously _both_ not paying attention? That _never_ happens!

"Great. This is all your fucking fault." Mark hissed, crossing his arms as he sent deathly glares over to Donghyuck.

"Mine?! How the hell is it _my_ fault?!" Donghyuck scrunched his eyebrows in evident offence to the blatant accusation.

"If _you_ weren't so thick headed and actually paid attention to your classes so you could do the homework, I wouldn't have to waste my time in trying to help you." Mark argued.

"Its not like I asked for your fucking help! You were very welcome to leave at literally any point." 

Mark didn't really have a comeback for that one because it was true. He didn't have to stay and he could've left at any time. 

He could've left Donghyuck all by himself without a single care.

"Shut up. All the exits will be locked and only security will have the keys, and they're long gone by now." Mark huffed, diverting his gaze to the main office where the security guards usually stayed at.

"So what do we do?" Donghyuck frowned at the unfortunate situation they were in. The world really was never on his side.

"Let's go back to the student council room. We'll have to stay there till morning" Mark sighed, checking his phone, only to see that he had no signal since everything that required electricity around him was shut off. They really were doomed.

"Ok..." Donghyuck felt bad. He wasn't entirely to blame, but Mark _did_ help him with his work and he _was_ ultimately the reason why the older stayed back and then ended up getting locked in with him.

"Wait! The vending machines will still be open. I'll buy you something as a peace offering." Donghyuck assured once they get back into the student council room. He didn't want Mark to stay mad at him since they would end up spending the night together in the student council room.

Mark just rolled his eyes at the younger's words but didn't protest. He was hungry and annoyed, so he simply nodded shortly in agreement. 

Donghyuck was about to leave the room to get his wallet from his locker, but only after taking one step into the dark corridor, he instantly turned back, a hesitant and nervous smile on his lips.

"Hyung..." he started softly.

"What is it now?" Mark looked as annoyed as ever.

"Can you.... can you come with me? I don't wanna go by myself." Donghyuck pouted. He wasn't _scared_ , per se. He was just... _cautious_.

Mark took a moment to gaze his eyes over Donghyuck's features, eyeing the pout on the younger's lips and the way his eyebrows dropped over his eyes slightly, slanting them even more at the corners. 

He doesn't exactly know why he ended up going with the younger anyway.

"You're such a wuss." Mark groaned in annoyance when Donghyuck clutched onto his shirt tightly, "Why am I even coming with you to your locker?"

"Because I'm scared and you don't want me to be murdered by a zombie." Donghyuck answered simply, as if his reply was the most reasonable response he could give.

"A _zombie_? Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Mark looked back at him with an incredulous look. Was this some sort of joke?

"Every time someone gets locked in their school, zombies come in! Every single time!" Donghyuck whined, tightening his grip on Mark's shirt.

"That's in movi- you know what... I'm not having this conversation right now."

Suddenly, the sound of a door slamming shut echoed through the halls and Mark didn't even have time to be scared when Donghyuck let out a scream and hugged Mark tightly from behind, hands linking across the older's chest as he nuzzled his face in the taller's neck.

"Hyung... what was that?!" Donghyuck whimpered. In all honesty, if he wasn't almost harassed in an alleyway by total strangers, he would really have no problem being in the dark alone. Since that night, he'd been even more afraid, and Mark was right there _again_... Donghyuck just wanted to be near him.

"Nothing. It was probably just the wind. Someone must've left a window open." Mark assured as calmly as he could, trying to pry away Donghyuck's arms from around his body, to no avail though.

"A window?! That's how the fucking zombies get in! All the fucking time... this happens every time, _hyungggg_ ~" Donghyuck cried out, stomping his feet for added affect.

"Can you shut up for one goddamn minute?" Mark sighed, his head close to bursting from how much intolerance he had for this situation. "What can I do to keep you calm until we reach your locker?"

Donghyuck genuinely thought for a moment. He was naturally dramatic and constantly wanted people to look out for him or help him relax when he's tense or scared. So, it wasn't like he was purposely trying to use this situation to get all touchy-feely with Mark or anything.

_Noooo_... why would he do that?

He felt a blush creep onto his cheeks when an idea came to mind. He knew he would feel better if the older did it, which was what he was asked for anyway, so it was perfectly reasonable for him to try and be a little... _bold_.

"Hold my hand?" he asked unsurely, expecting the older to just swear at him and push him off.

He watched as Mark looked at him with an unreadable look, the one that Donghyuck just couldn't decipher.

"Fine. But don't you dare scream." Mark let out a frustrated sigh before taking the younger's hand into his and linking their fingers together, deciding not to question why the younger still leaned into him.

Donghyuck didn't feel scared anymore.

He stopped feeling scared a while ago since he knew Mark was right there next to him. And now that their hands were linked together tightly, Donghyuck couldn't even stop the smile rising on his lips. He fawned over the sight of their fingers knotted together and let the warmth of Mark's hand rush through his body, relaxing every previously tense nerve that he had.

Donghyuck opened his locker and shuffled some things around, trying to find his wallet. A cold shiver ran down his spine and he stood dead still after he realised a suddenly crucial piece of information that would probably sign him his death right how.

"Uhh... Mark hyung?" he called out quietly to the older, who was effortlessly leaning against the lockers and looking out into the distance. 'Why did he have to be so cool?'

"What?" Mark turned to look at him with his usual disinterested glare.

"I-uhhh... I think my wallet's actually on my desk in the student council room." the tanned boy chuckled nervously, knowing he probably just wasted Mark's time by dragging him to the other side of the school where his locker was.

Mark could only stare at him judgingly, his lips pursing into a fine line and his eyebrows subtly knitting together. Without a single word, Mark turned around and started to walk back.

"Wait! Hyung! I'm _sorryyyy_ ~" Donghyuck whined, searching around his locker for a little longer in hopes that his wallet might magically appear. 

After confirming his previous knowledge of the whereabouts of his wallet, Donghyuck let out a sigh and shut his locker. He started to run in the direction he saw Mark go in, only to see that the older wasn't there.

"Mark hyung?" he called out once more, but didn't hear anything in response, "Mark hyung! Yah! Mark Lee! I get it... you're mad at me! I already said sorry!! I'll still get you a snack!"

Donghyuck peered into the student council room once he reached it, dread coursing through his body when he found it to be empty.

"Fuck..." 

The school was fucking massive, how was he supposed to find Mark now?!

Donghyuck paced around the corridor the student council room was on, not wanting to stray too far in case Mark came back.

Was he still angry?

Mark wasn't the kind of person to get angry over little things, though.

'It's fine, it's fine...' Donghyuck continued to chant in his head, his heart beat racing at what felt like a thousand miles per hour as his breathing became staggered. 'No one's here but me.'

Nothing would happen to him. He wasn't in a shady alleyway full of dangerous people armed with knives. He was at school, he knew his way around like the back of his hand. He was perfectly fine.

Yet, for some stupid reason, Donghyuck felt like crying. He didn't want to stay by himself until morning. How could Mark treat him like this? Surely, by now, Mark should've figured out that he didn't like staying alone, especially in the dark. 

How could Mark just abandon him? Donghyuck understood that Mark hated him, he seriously gets it. He goes through every day being constantly reminded of that fact and no matter how much their relationship itself may have changed, nothing would change Mark's concrete feelings towards him.

Mark still hates him.

He hates him to the point that he's willing to leave Donghyuck all alone in a dark corridor with no reassurance that everything will be alrig-

"Donghyuck?" a familiar voice called out for him, "What are you doing?"

Donghyuck snapped his head up and looked at Mark in complete surprise, eyes squinting at the bright light of a torch being shone his way.

"M-Mark hyung?" he stuttered, forcing himself to will back the tears that had started forming at the corner of his eyes. He was not going to start crying now.

"I just went to find a torch since the electricity's been shut off. Luckily, the janitor's closet wasn't locked." Mark explained, shaking the torch in his hand slightly for added confirmation, "We should go back to the student counc- woah!"

Mark's words were cut off when he felt the force of Donghyuck's body collide into his chest. His eyes widened in shock as he looked down at the tuft of curly, brunette hair and the arms wrapped around his middle tightly.

"What are you doing, you idiot?" Mark scowled, his words coming out as mumbles more than anything else.

Donghyuck didn't reply, he only buried his face deeper into the fabric of the older's shirt, feeling his face heat up at the way Mark didn't push him off and he couldn't help but emit soft whimpers that echoed throughout the empty hallways.

It's so strange, in Donghyuck's opinion. He could probably be trapped in a dark room, but if Mark was with him, he'd be perfectly fine. He could probably be lost in the middle of no where, but if Mark was holding his hand, Donghyuck wouldn't be worried. It could be completely quiet, completely dark, but if Mark was there, holding a torch and shining a bright light in his direction...

Donghyuck felt somewhat _safe_.

"Donghyuck... move, you idiot." Mark tried to push the latter's head off his shoulder, only to earn a sleepy whine from the younger who clearly didn't like the gesture.

Mark watched as Donghyuck's head dropped down in an uncomfortable position. They were lucky the couch in the student council room was big enough for the two of them to at least put their feet up. But, despite the space they had, Donghyuck insisted on 'sharing warmth' by staying close to each other. Even Mark couldn't argue with science and reject the idea, but now... he was beginning to regret his decision.

"Shouldn't I be getting paid for this?" he grumbled, reaching out to tilt the younger's head back onto his shoulder, figuring that there was no point wasting his energy by moving Donghyuck's head back and forth; he was too tired for that.

Mark thought back to the look on Donghyuck's face when he found the latter waiting by the student council room after he went to go find a torch.

Donghyuck looked so... _scared_.

Which was strange, because Mark hadn't seen Donghyuck like that before. He was so used to seeing Donghyuck force a strong up-front, that seeing him look so anxious hadn't fully registered in his brain. Even that night in the alleyway, he almost couldn't wrap his head around the idea that Donghyuck was still ok after the whole situation. Donghyuck should've been terrified. He should've cried. He should've asked for help. He should've mentioned that he wanted to report it to the police.

Just _something_. But Donghyuck always kept it to himself.

Still, fear isn't something one can hide that easily.

So, Mark could only assume that he was still a little shaken from the events of barely a week ago when the younger found himself being pinned against the wall by shady people with even shadier intentions in a dark alleyway.

He sighed and looked over at the boy resting his head on his shoulder, forcing any hints of guilt out of his head.

"You know... as stupid and annoying as you are, oh god... you're so fucking annoying." Mark shook his head, eyes tracing over the trio of moles on the younger's cheek as well as the small pout on the latter's pink lips. He found himself reaching out and brushing away a strand of hair on the tanned boy's forehead, the corners of his lips turning upwards ever so subtly. "...cute."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys know that i like being honest with my readers, so i tell you guys when i feel a little insecure or worried about a chapter or something like that - its because i trust you guys and i'm so grateful that you guys leave such nice comments under this work :')
> 
> sO! i update after i come back from school and so some school work stuff (so like roughly 7-8pm) majority of the time - and then i stay up for a while playing games and stuff, and bc i'm usually always on my laptop, i get emails from when people leave comments on the latest chapter... and ngl, i legit almost cry every time i see the notification. it's really weird bc i don't expect it to be hate or a concern-related comment.... but i get this really bad feeling that its gonna be that :'(( ik sad times.  
> AND THEN! the next day, while i'm at school, i check my phone a few times and see that i've got emails from ao3 saying that people left comments under the new chapter... and i literally freeze. i can't even bring myself to check it until i get home or something like that.
> 
> anywAYS! the point i'm trying to make is that, if i'm being really honest, i made hyuck's character in this book a little... weak. he doesn't stay like that ofc, but i definitely see a pattern in his emotions. i think i just translated a little bit of myself into him in terms of fears and insecurities and stuff like that... which would probably explain why he's portrayed this way. i just thought i'd tell you guys bc this fic is also almost like my internal thought-process at times.
> 
> when i'm upset, i get sentimental and start writing feelings-y chapters. when i'm angry, i start writing chapter that force the characters to lash out at each other or make something go wrong. and that's not to say that the lack of fluffy, happy chapters is because i'm just not very happy - i truly am incredibly happy... i just think that emotions and feelings are such a heavy substance to carry that i want to enforce them in the clearest way possible.
> 
> this is probably a little too much for a fic and you guys really don't need to know any of this... i just thought that bc you guys are so so SO nice!! i thought that i'd share this with you :)) it really does mean a lot and when i do open my emails to read new comments, there's a really strange, fluttery feeling in my chest and i'm always on the literal verge of tears bc i'm just so overwhelmed with how positive everyone is!! 
> 
> oK! less talk - as i've said, next few chapters are going to be quite plot-heavy and just overall a little cliche (a bit like this chapter) at some point, i would really like to explain why i'm doing this and why the characters are going through what they're going through now! but that will be at a later date!! 
> 
> as always!! thank you so so so SO much for the love and support!! this fic has already reached 5.5k hits and the amount of kudos and bookmarks and comments are just nwsmasilndlsaoiq i'm speechless-  
> thank you so much!!! <33
> 
> (side note: NEO CITY IS BUSSSYYYYY~ i'm seriously loving all this content! they always upload something when i'm in class... but i legit can't think of anything else when i see a notification and have to literally refrain myself from screaming!! i can't wait for the next few weeks!! AND NCT WORLD 2.0 looks so so SOOOOO COOL!!! i can't believe nct are just out here taking the world by storm! they're really change the game! and just when i thought i couldn't love them enough :'))))


	24. twenty two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all the comments on the previous chapter made me want to cry omg-  
> you guys are the best :')
> 
> anywAY! as mentioned (again)... here's another random chapter that i ended up writing!!
> 
> finALLY!! we're getting new faces ohohohoohoho~
> 
> hope you like it!
> 
> (and also- happy yangyang day!! our lovely, german, not-baby-but-totally-baby ehrenmann <333)

"So... the reason why you don't come back to the dorm after your sexcapades with Mark is because Mark tells you to stay the night and then go back in the morning?" Renjun questioned, repeating the words back to Donghyuck, who only nodded in confirmation. "Woah. That's... _nice_ of him."

"I guess..." Donghyuck shrugged, tearing his gaze away from the book on his lap to look at the courts in front of him where basketball practise was currently taking place. As if he was an expert at it, Donghyuck's eyes instantly caught Mark's figure as he watched the older shoot hoops in nothing but awe.

"He probably does have feelings for you. He's just seriously in denial." Renjun stated, as if his words didn't render Donghyuck into a spluttering mess.

"W-what?! Don't s-say such things! Oh my god!" the tanned boy heaved out and Renjun only rolled his eyes at how unnecessarily dramatic he was being. "Mark would never like me. Not in a million years! He _hates_ me."

"How could you say that he hates you? He's been sleeping with you for over a year now; it may not be much... but if he hasn't decided to end whatever relationship you guys have, he must feel _something_ towards you." Renjun reasoned, looking up from his own book to give the tanned boy a judgemental glance.

"T-that doesn't mean anything..." Donghyuck shook his head in denial after a few moments of hopeful contemplating. Renjun wasn't _wrong_ , necessarily... but he wasn't right either. 

Donghyuck doesn't know how to explain it.

He can't think properly when it comes to Mark. He can't do many things when it comes to him, to be honest. Somehow, Mark leaves him defenceless and Donghyuck didn't even know how to explain to Renjun that when it comes to Mark and whatever he wants... Donghyuck just _can't say no_.

"Ok then, whatever you say." Renjun brushed the topic off entirely, wondering if Donghyuck was actually the oblivious one instead.

"You didn't have to accompany me here, by the way." Donghyuck started after a few minutes of peaceful silence.

"Are you serious? I wouldn't trade accompanying my best friend just so he could ogle at the love of his life for the world!" Renjun smiled, albeit a little bitterly as sarcasm dripped through his voice. "Besides, it was either this, or go with Jaemin to watch Jeno's football practise. And, for the sake of my sanity, I'd rather _not_ sit on the bleachers alone while Jaemin goes to suck faces with Jeno on the middle of the field."

Donghyuck laughed at the mention of the shameless couple that was Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin. But his amusement didn't last long when he caught the way Renjun sulked slightly.

"Sorry..." Donghyuck muttered quietly, throwing an arm around the other's shoulders, "you're suffering so they can be happy..."

"It's ok..." Renjun assured, shaking his head with a smile that looked a little too forced. "I'm over it now."

Donghyuck wasn't entirely convinced but, at the same time, he believed Renjun's words. He knew his best friend was stronger than that and wouldn't let such a thing deter him from moving onto whatever he wanted to do.

But still, he'd rather see Renjun smile genuinely than forcefully.

And he knew just how to do that.

With a sly grin, Donghyuck moved out of the bleachers and down onto the court. He looked around for a bit and grinned when he spotted a tall guy with brassy gold hair.

"Lucas!" Donghyuck called out to the boy, earning his attention, as well as others, instantly.

Lucas ran up to the tanned boy with a smile.

"Hey, Donghyuck! What's up?" the older greeted, as friendly as ever, but Donghyuck didn't miss the way Lucas glanced behind him, most likely to the bleachers where Renjun was still sitting at.

"Oh nothing~~ just that Renjunnie's been feeling down lately, shouldn't you-"

"On it." Lucas immediately cut off Donghyuck's sentence, already knowing what he was going to ask. Without another word, he headed towards the bleacher stalls.

Donghyuck mentally patted himself on the back for being such a genius. He doesn't need an aspiring love life himself to be able to bring people together.

"So, when I tell you that my team are preparing for nationals... you choose to ignore me and continue distracting them?"

Donghyuck scowled before turning around to face the one person he didn't want to talk to (but was the entire reason why he was here on the courts in the first place).

"Oh, Mark hyung... when it comes to love," Donghyuck grinned overly-sweetly, before glancing back to the bleachers where Lucas was busy telling Renjun something and simultaneously making the younger laugh. "there's no stopping it."

"Bullshit." Mark hissed sharply, "Stop coming to the courts during practise. It's getting on my nerves now."

"It wasn't getting on your nerves before?" Donghyuck put a finger to his lips teasingly, "Aww~"

"Shut up." 

Donghyuck could only laugh when Mark glared at him and retreated back onto the court. He just loved riling Mark up. He went back to the bleachers and sat a little further away from Lucas and Renjun, just to give them space to get all cute and cozy (he was seriously rooting for them). His gaze immediately latched onto Mark once more and he let out a dreamy sigh, wondering what it would take to get Mark to notice him more.

"For fucks sake, Mark Lee... can you read in your head?!" Donghyuck groaned in annoyance.

Mark had been rehearsing a speech he had to know off by heart for the past half an hour. Usually, Donghyuck considered himself incredibly lucky whenever he and Mark were alone together in the student council room. But, right now, he wanted nothing more than to kick Mark out.

"Fuck off... this is important." Mark snapped at him, "Now be quiet, I need to learn this."

"Learn it in your head! I've already memorized the entire goddamn thing because of how many times you've read it over out loud." Donghyuck hissed back with equal spite.

"Really?" Mark raised a brow in disbelief, "What did I just-"

"Good morning everybody. As student council president of Seoul International College, I would like to take this opportunity to discuss the matters regarding our relationships with our charity funds as well as the branches with our local fundraising organisations. It's important that we-"

"Ok, ok! I get it!" Mark cut Donghyuck off from reciting the speech that he was supposed to know. "How the fuck did you learn it so quickly?"

"Unlike you, I have the gift of improvisation, which allows me to wing every speech I've ever made, meaning that I don't do scripts anyway." Donghyuck shrugged, "And even when I do have a script, learning lines is easy."

"I spent the entire summer practising my speech for the welcoming induction." Mark sighed.

"Woah... when you said you were bad at learning lines... I didn't think you meant that bad." Donghyuck's eyes widened in surprise. Maybe Mark wasn't good at everything after all.

"I get it." Mark deadpanned.

"Don't worry, hyungie~ I can help you! Learning lines for a speech is pretty much exactly the same as learning lines for a play!" Donghyuck assured, wanting to show off how useful he could be.

Mark looked at him as he contemplated the idea before deciding that it wouldn't hurt to have a theatre kid like Donghyuck help him run over his lines.

"Hm... fine then. We'll go to my place after your last class finishes." Mark stated and raised a brow when Donghyuck did a mini celebratory dance.

"My last class finishes at-"

"Five. Yeah, I know. Don't be late... I'm not waiting for you." Mark started to pack up his things once lunch period had ended, getting ready to go to class himself.

"How did you know?" Donghyuck couldn't help but question.

Mark simply shrugged and dismissed the question entirely before walking out the door without another word.

Donghyuck knows that it will probably take a long time to try and get Mark to fall for him, but spending time with Mark alone was enough for now.

Donghyuck was in a good mood.

With two cups of coffee in his hand, he skipped happily towards Mark's house. He planned on trying to keep Mark's attention for as long as he could so they could spend as much time together and then it would be too late for Mark to send him home, resulting in him staying over again.

Excitement buzzed through him as he rung the bell on the door. Mark was usually quick to answer, but he was taking longer than normal, so Donghyuck rung the bell a couple more times.

After a few minutes, Mark opened the door, his hair dishevelled and his shirt un-kept with the first few buttons undone.

"D-Donghyuck?" Mark called out hesitantly when he opened the door to see the tanned boy standing there, eyeing the two coffee cups in the latter's hand, "What are you doing here?"

At the sight, Donghyuck would've completely misinterpreted, just by Mark's appearance alone. He didn't mean to, but he couldn't help but wonder if someone else was here with the older instead. They usually met up later for their sex sessions, maybe Mark invited someone else over in the mean time?

"It's very unlike you to forget all of a sudden, so I'm just going to pretend you didn't ask that question." Donghyuck dismissed the question as well as his own mindless superstitions and shoved past him like he usually did, ignoring Mark's protests when the older tired to stop him.

But when Donghyuck passed by the living room, he was welcomed with a surprisingly new sight; one which probably explained why Mark looked so drained.

After a head count, Donghyuck saw that nine people were now crowding the living room, flinging pillows at each other, some with shirts on, some without. Some with clothes on in general and, well... some without.

"Mark hyung..." Donghyuck called out softly when the said boy stood next to him with a sigh, "I'm not really into group sex."

"OH MY FU-" Mark didn't even get to finish his sentence off when the clearly older boys in the room stopped suddenly once they noticed the two as well as what Donghyuck just said.

The room of nine grown adults burst out laughing at the sight of Mark's flushed face when he tried to explain the situation to Donghyuck and simultaneously declining whatever assumptions Donghyuck made in his head.

"They're Johnny's uni friends. They're on winter break right now, so they decided to visit." Mark explained, an embarrassed flush growing up his neck at the way he could see some of the older boys wiggling their eyebrows at him.

"Jeez... you should've told me. I wouldn't have come then." Donghyuck crossed his arms, frowning at the older, "Why did you invite me in the first place?"

"I tried calling you to tell you! Your little bratty, annoying self kept interrupting me every time I did and then you hung up!" Mark grimaced at him when Donghyuck shrugged with little care as he placed the coffee holder on the table.

"I like talking to you as less as possible when it comes to our arrangement." Donghyuck stated. "Speaking of that arrangement, I guess you're too busy now... I'll just go-"

"NO!" one of the boys, with rose-gold pink hair and a gorgeously handsome face stopped him, "You should stay, we're gonna have a mini-party and more the merrier, you know?"

"Taeyong hyung... what are you doing?" Mark gritted through his teeth at the older, trying to get him to stop so Donghyuck would just leave and they could reschedule their speech practise for later. 

"Inviting this cutie over to _play_ with us?" the said boy, Taeyong, raised a brow at Mark, as if the answer was obvious.

Donghyuck smirked at the suggestion and made a move over to the couch, letting Johnny engulf him in a hug when he sat down after greeting the older. He was going to take it as an opportunity to rile Mark up even more, already catching onto the stressed out expression Mark was currently wearing just by his presence alone.

"Hi, I'm Donghyuck." the tanned boy introduced himself, "Nice to meet you guys."

Mark growled lowly when the others started fawning and cooing over Donghyuck, introducing themselves and getting all touchy-feely with the tanned boy like they knew him his whole life. It took less than five seconds for everyone to suddenly start crowding around the boy and start firing questions at him, eager to know the latter.

Not being able to bear the sight, Mark moved over to the couch and pulled Donghyuck up by his arm.

"Stop trying to get everyone's attention." he scowled, knowing that attention-seeking was what Donghyuck was best at.

"What do you mean, hyung? I'm just being polite." Donghyuck smiled a little too cheekily for Mark's liking.

"You're here to help me learn lines for my speech. _Not_ to get along with my hyungs." Mark crossed his arms.

"Chill out, Mark-ah." a short guy with a stunning smile named Ten, reached out to pull Donghyuck back. "How could you be so selfish and keep this cutie to yourself?"

"Yeah, Mark... don't get jealous." another guy, Jaehyun, laughed at him fondly.

"I'm not _jealous_." Mark quickly denied such an accusation.

Donghyuck noticed how the nine other boys exchanged a knowing glance before looking at the two of them with smirks.

"So... what are these _arrangements_ you speak of?" Taeyong wiggled his eyebrows, revealing that he already knew the answer.

"Homework and work for the student council!" Mark stated before anyone had the chance to say anything. This entire encounter was so random, unexpected and unplanned. It wasn't scheduled like everything was supposed to be and it annoyed Mark to no end. He didn't want his group of hyungs and Donghyuck to suddenly mix together. Keeping them apart and to minimal interaction was the best option.

Donghyuck seemed to disagree.

"Mhmm..." Donghyuck nodded in agreement and before Mark could finally relax, knowing that Donghyuck wouldn't say anything, he decided to tease just a little, "Usually, we do our homework on Mark hyung's bed..."

"Donghyuck-" Mark tried to stop him, but the damage was already done.

"-without clothes." Donghyuck smirked, savouring the wide-eyed look Mark was sending his way. For once, it felt like he had the upper-hand. And all it required was a little bit of shamelessness.

"OHHHH!" Yuta hollered, suddenly proud of the two boys, earning a smack on the head from his boyfriend, Sicheng.

"Is this seriously what kids get up to these days? All they care about is sex." Taeil shook his head in disappointment.

"But it's Mark... so I'm not surprised." Jungwoo added in with a careless shrug; no one could deny the facts anyway.

While everyone was gossiping about the two youngest, Johnny crossed his arms and screwed his eyes at his younger brother; not knowing how to interpret the new piece of information. He knew Mark had hook ups and one night stands, but that was about it. He didn't know he and Donghyuck had _that_ kind of relationship and, for some reason, he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

Mark turned around and grabbed Donghyuck by the collar of his shirt before pulling him close and whispering dangerously low.

"You idiot! Why did you tell them that?! I'd rather my hyungs not know about my sex life."

"It was just a minor piece of information that could cause no harm." Donghyuck shrugged with a smile, brushing Mark's hands off with ease. 

Something similar to the sound of the universe turning against him caused the door to the kitchen to suddenly open, revealing a tall guy with striking features to step out with a bag of chips in his hand.

"Johnny, you're out of drinks- wait... DONGHYUCK?!" the new-comer almost dropped his bag of chips as he pointed an accusing finger at the said boy, his jaw dropping open in morbid shock.

"DOYOUNG HYUNG?!" Donghyuck gaped at the older boy, mimicking the other as his own mouth hung open in surprise.

"You two know each other?" Mark raised a brow and looked between the two, sharing the confusion with the other boys in the room.

"H-he's my cousin." Donghyuck answered, a slight shiver in his tone at how unpredictable his current predicament was.

" _You_ two know each other?" Doyoung relayed the question back to Mark and Donghyuck, looking between them suspiciously, wondering how on earth they knew each other.

"He's a friend! Just a friend! We're actually busy with something right now." Donghyuck hastily replied before grabbing Mark's arm and tugging him in the direction of the stairs, "Let's go, hyung."

"Oh so _now_ you want to hide it, huh?" Mark had an evil smirk on his lips that sent shivers down Donghyuck's spine. The older knew something. He could tell Donghyuck was trying to avoid talking to his cousin further, as if he was trying to hide something.

Mark wasn't going to let it past that easily.

Donghyuck could tell. 

Mark wouldn't be cruel enough to expose him to his cousin? Would he?

"W-what are you saying, hyung..." Donghyuck chuckled nervously, praying that Mark would have mercy on him just this once.

Doyoung was now raising his eyebrow in evident curiosity, while everyone else just watched the drama go down.

"I guess _all_ the hyungs should know, right?" Mark stepped closer when Donghyuck stepped back, "We have an _arrangement_ , don't we?"

"C-come on, Mark hyung. I'm not here for anything but to help you learn lines for your speech, remember?" Donghyuck regretted saying anything before just to spite Mark, because karma was really biting him in the ass now.

"Ah yes, my speech. Should we go upstairs to do it? In my room... on my bed..." Mark leaned closer until their faces were merely inches apart, "... _without clothes_?"

Donghyuck's cheeks flushed the darkest shade of red anyone had ever seen. It wasn't even about the fact that, now, everyone in the room knew about the kind of relationship they had, even his cousin, who looked like he was about to murder Mark right there and then. It wasn't about any of that. Mark's face was so close to his, their lips were _so close_. The way Mark was speaking to him, teasing him, invading his personal space - Donghyuck wanted more of it. He kept searching the older's eyes for any sort of sign to make a move. 

It was almost like he forgot anyone else was in the room, the only one Donghyuck could think of was Mark. There wasn't anyone other than Mark and he couldn't help but wonder how long it had been like that.

The moment was nice, in a way. That's the only reason Donghyuck can give to explain why he's leaning forward. Mark's neck jolts so subtly, you could miss it if you weren't careful. That sudden jolt caused the distance between them to decrease by only a micrometre, but still.

_He swore._

Donghyuck swore on his life that Mark leaned in too.

"What are you doing?" Mark asked, spite evident in his tone, eyebrows raised and an unimpressed line on his lips.

He must've been dreaming it. 

"Uhhh... nothing." Donghyuck breathed out, pulling away instantly from Mark's hold and facing Doyoung who was now looking at them both with an incredulous look. He looked around the room and noticed the way everyone was looking at them, some even with a mixture of concern and sympathy on their faces that Donghyuck knew was meant for him. "I should... I should probably go."

"Go?! Why are you in such a hurry now?!" Doyoung grabbed Donghyuck by the arm and pulled him back, "Do I seriously have to tell your mother that you have a sex buddy? Huh?"

Donghyuck's eyes widened and his entire face heated up in embarrassment. It was already bad enough that Doyoung knew, he couldn't bear it if his mother found out as well. The humiliation wouldn't pass even after a lifetime.

"It's not a big deal, hyung..." Donghyuck laughed nervously, not wanting to get on Doyoung's bad side. Ever since they were young, Doyoung had always been extremely protective over him, even more after finding out Donghyuck's father had died. He had always looked up to the older, treating him an older brother rather than his cousin. It only seemed right to refer to Doyoung as such, since being an only child proved to be lonelier than he would've liked. Doyoung was always there for him as a kid... Donghyuck didn't want to disappoint him.

But, right now, Doyoung looked disappointed.

"Not a big deal?!" Doyoung yelled before looking at Mark, who stood completely expressionless, "Mark? Seriously, what the fuck?!"

"What?" Mark shrugged emotionlessly, "We've been doing this for over a year now."

"A YEAR?!" 

By now, everyone in the room was looking at Mark and Donghyuck with worry and disappointment marred all over their faces. The two boys felt more like objects being frowned upon than people.

"Stop looking at us like that. You're making it sound like we're committing a crime." Mark scowled in annoyance and even Donghyuck couldn't help but agree with him.

"Don't make it seem like you're off the hook." Johnny suddenly started, "I could easily tell mom and dad about this as well." unknowing to the youngest two, Johnny was talking with a past full of experience. He knew what it was like to be in college and he knew what it was like to go through such phases. He didn't want Mark to trust him less - especially not when it took so long to get the younger to warm up to him.

Now, both Mark and Donghyuck were looking between Johnny and Doyoung in worry and fear. For Mark, he didn't want his parents to find out about his not-so-perfect social life. For Donghyuck, he was worried about his mother finding out and about not being able to see Mark if Doyoung decides to take action.

"Ok... I think we just need to calm down a bit." Ten intervened, taking the role of mediator before grabbing Donghyuck's hand and leading him off, "I'm just gonna have a quick chat with Hyuck, ok?"

Mark scrunched his eyebrows and followed after the two boys leaving the room. He didn't miss the accusing glare Doyoung was sending him which practically screamed 'if you hurt my cousin, I will not hesitate to tear you apart'. Johnny wasn't any better, he felt more betrayed that his own brother didn't even tell him about this, as if Mark didn't trust him enough.

"Hey, it's ok." Taeyong patted Mark on the shoulder, "Let's go buy some drinks."

Mark didn't need any consolation, but he nodded anyway, too annoyed and tired to be thinking about the speech that he still had to memorise. 

He couldn't care less.

"I saw the way you were looking at him." Ten started off bluntly, not even bothering to tip-toe around the subject.

Donghyuck had only heard about Ten in passing from the amount of times Johnny had talked about him, and even though he was already aware of it, Donghyuck didn't think that he'd have to get used to the older's straight forward personality so soon. He looked at Ten with wide eyes and the only thing the older of the two saw in them was pure _innocence_. 

Donghyuck was so innocently in love with Mark that it almost made their entire relationship acceptable. It _was_ acceptable, they weren't doing anything wrong and it was fully consensual, it just gets a little trickier when family get involved.

"You haven't told him, have you?" Ten asked, he was no stranger to situations like these, so he knew he needed to try and help.

"Are you serious? Mark hates me. We're actually full-fledged enemies at school." Donghyuck stated, almost taking pride in his words at this point, "Whether I like him or not, he's my arch nemesis. He stole the spot of student council president from me... twice! He's constantly mean to me, he always shouts at me and scolds me and bosses me around! He doesn't compliment me, even when I finish all the work before anyone else on the committee or when I contribute ideas that end up getting used for events in school! He doesn't care about my feelings and messes with other people, he's so inconsiderate and insensitive!"

"Wow... you must really like him." Ten chuckled, thinking that the relationship between Mark and Donghyuck was the exact definition of a 'relationship on the borderline of love and hate'.

"Whatever. We're just sleeping together and that's good enough for me. Mark may not like me back... but at least I get to spend time with him." Donghyuck shrugged, already used to how pitiful he must sound.

Of course, Ten wasn't the kind of person to let such things like this slide so easily. At that very moment, he vowed to help Donghyuck get Mark to fall in love with him too.

"Don't worry..." he assured with a friendly smile, "Mark's a dense idiot, but he's only against relationships because of how much work he has to do. He's always been like this. Ever since I first met him when I started dating Johnny, he's always been incredibly work-driven."

Donghyuck smiled at that. He knew very well how determined Mark was when it came to achieving his goals, it was one of the many reasons why he fell in love with the older in the first place.

Suddenly, Ten placed a hand on Donghyuck's shoulder and gripped it tightly, sending the younger a determined look that could almost be considered scary.

"You've just got to _make_ him fall for you." he said as if it was a simple thing to do.

Donghyuck could only let out a defeated sigh. The words struck him like deja vu and he couldn't help but remember how Jaemin said the exact same thing a while ago.

"Easier said than done." he deadpanned.

"Well, there's no point in keeping your feelings to yourself and continue to think that Mark hates you." Ten shrugged, "You guys see each other all the time... isn't it painful?"

"You don't even know." Donghyuck chuckled bitterly, not wanting to get into that.

Ten nodded in understanding before throwing an arm around Donghyuck's shoulder and pulling him close before dragging him towards the door leading out of the room they were in. They didn't even know each other that well, but Donghyuck was glad he met Ten.

"We'll help you... don't worry about a thing."

Donghyuck appreciated the support. But, honestly, he didn't mind that much anyway. He and Mark were... _getting there_.

Donghyuck shuddered slightly at the menacing daggers Doyoung was shooting at him from his eyes when he and Ten got back to the living room. He knew Doyoung was there for him and was just protective over him, but he wanted to assure the older that he was fine and safe - it really was no big deal.

" _Hyungggg_ ~~" he cooed, pouting as cutely as he could while clinging onto Doyoung's arm, "Is hyung mad at me? I'm sorry~~"

"How could you stay mad at _this_?!!" Yuta gestured to Donghyuck's face before looking at Doyoung with a disbelieving expression.

Doyoung glared at him in betrayal before looking down at Donghyuck, who was still holding onto him tightly and giving him his infamous sad puppy eyes that had never failed throughout the many years he had known the younger for. He sighed and loosened the tension in his shoulders and Donghyuck took that as a sign that his beloved cousin wasn't mad at him anymore.

"I'm still angry... but I won't tell your mother because I trust you." Doyoung gave him a sympathetic look and that was enough for Donghyuck to jump up onto him and hug him tightly. "And because I care about both you and Mark... so don't do dumb shit otherwise I'll kill you."

"Deal!" Donghyuck grinned before scanning his eyes over the room to the couch where Johnny was sitting on. He skipped over to the older and sat next to him, cuddling into his side. "Hyung... are you angry at me too?"

Johnny looked over at the tanned boy and smiled fondly before shaking his head.

"I'm not angry at anyone, don't worry." he reassured, patting the latter's head affectionately, "I'm just upset that Mark doesn't trust me enough to tell me things."

"He does... it's probably just me." Donghyuck sighed, leaning back on the couch.

"You?" Jungwoo questioned curiously, overhearing the conversation.

Donghyuck only nodded, not wanting to talk about it anymore. He liked the older boys enough to comfort himself with their presence, but also wondered if he should just go home since Mark probably wouldn't want him around.

Speaking of Mark...

"Oh... where's Mark hyung?" he asked, looking around after only realising that the said boy wasn't here.

"He and Taeyong went to go buy drinks." Taeil answered and just as he said those words, the sound of the front door opening attracted all their attention.

"Well... they're back now." Jungwoo stated before rushing over to the door to grab the bags of snacks and drinks from them.

Mark walked in and instantly saw Donghyuck cuddled up next to Johnny on the couch. Ten didn't look bothered in the slightest as he opened a packed of chips and proceeded to share it with Sicheng, but for Mark... he was quietly _pissed_.

Wordlessly, he went over to the couch, reached out to grab Donghyuck's arm and pulled the latter onto his feet (or the second time in the span of one evening).

"Hey!" Donghyuck frowned at the sudden gesture.

"You said you'd help me memorise my speech." Mark reminded in his normal, monotonous voice, completely changing the previously tense subject matter.

"But-" 

"Come on, Mark!" Jaehyun interrupted Donghyuck's protests, "We're all together now... let's just have fun."

"Yeah! How could you think of doing work right now?" Yuta chimed in agreement.

"Mark's always thinking about work." Taeil stated, which everyone agreed on.

Donghyuck looked down at the plastic bag still in Mark's hand. He reached out for it and grabbed two beer cans from their packet. He opened one and held it out for Mark to take.

"Stop being a fun-kill, you asshole." Donghyuck teased with a playful grin on his face as he pushed the can of beer into Mark's hand when the older made no move to take it from him. After sending Mark one more look, Donghyuck moved towards the kitchen to get a glass to pour his drink into.

Mark glanced between the can of beer in his hand and Donghyuck's retreating figure.

"Whipped." someone - probably Jaehyun - said and Mark couldn't help but shake his head with a chuckle, a laugh that caught even Johnny by surprise.

"As if."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this weird chapter lmao-
> 
> oK! i'm just gonna put this out there... the upcoming chapters are weird and a little random (like these past couple of chapters had been) - they're just to reinforce markhyuck's dynamic as well as other characters' thoughts and opinions about them!!  
> i'll give a warning next chapter, but imma say this now as well... next chapter is a little uhhh... idk. i'll probably add it to the tags and you guys can skip it if you want... but next chapter includes... fuck... how do i put this simply?  
> basically... it includes lingerie - if you get where this is going.
> 
> THERE'S A REASON BEHIND EVERYTHING :') I PROMISE !!!
> 
> anyway... thank you guys so much for reading and commenting and taking your time to show the endless amount of support i've somehow accumulated for this fic!! words can't even express how grateful i am !!! thank you so so much!!
> 
> and, even though it took literally 22 chapters to mention the other members, they're here now!! they're not here to stay for a while... but they will return in the near future of this fic!! so do not worry!! there's a specific order to which the characters come an go!! :)
> 
> it's finally the weekend!! i've been busting my ass trying to freaking school work without teachers help bc my teachers literally weren't in all week (so sad)... teaching yourself chemistry has never been more painful!!
> 
> buT IT'S BEEN A GOOD WEEK ANYWAY BC OF NCT 2020!! deja vu and misfit track videos and teaser photos were released and i cried so much... i just love 7dream undhesliuhadolniwsnqam and nct u unit is just so so so so so so cool and unique!! the composition is absolutely crazy!! the songs are so insane i literally don't understand how nct always come back with bops without fail!! and sungchan is such a good rapper oml wth-  
> and sun and moon episode with taeten nhuhswaliinsodw omg. i think i released this chapter at the right time since we got nct u misfit track video and taeten on sun and moon today lmao-
> 
> annyywayyyy.... thank you again for reading an supporting!! it means the world to me and i really hope you guys continue to see this fic through!! (i'll also try to make ending notes shorter as well hehehe...) i'm just going to be less-bothered about what people think and less insecure... i want to post all these chapters and finish this book on a good note!! and now that its the weekend, i can write more chapters!! yayayayayaya~~
> 
> oK!! see you guys next chapter!! <3
> 
> (i also realised that i never sign off my notes... i should really do that lmao. i'm going to start signing off now hehehehe~)
> 
> ~Risa <3


	25. twenty three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this chapter's slightly more uhhh.... graphic? than the other mature scenes. but it's only short and pretty much implied. i've added a new tag for this chapter to explain, but those who would be uncomfortable with it... you can skip if you want :)
> 
> also!!! thank you so much for 7k hits!! what is this sorcery?!?!?!? >.<
> 
> hope you you like it! <3

"Fucking finally!!" Donghyuck let out a heavy breath of relief as he crashed onto his bed. Renjun soon joined in with his exasperation and landed on the narrow space of his bed beside him with an equal sigh.

They had just finished their last week of the first semester and were full-on ready for winter break. No school, no worries. 

"Are you going back home, Junnie?" Donghyuck asked after a while.

"Yeah. I'll stay with my parents for a week and then come back and stay here for the rest of the holiday." the older answered.

"You're going all the way back to China?!!" 

"What the fuck? No... my parents live here in Korea, you dumbass. I told you this." 

"Oh shit... I forgot." 

Renjun only rolled his eyes with a chuckle at his friend's incompetence. 

"What about you? Are you going back home?" he returned the question.

"Mhm... I'm going back for a few days to spend christmas with my mom and hope that her stupid boyfriend won't be there as well." Donghyuck replied through gritted teeth. His mom's boyfriend, Taewoo, had been nothing but a nuisance in his mind for the past year or so that he had known him.

Donghyuck simply prayed that his mother had enough decency not to invite that guy around for dinner on christmas after barely knowing him for over a year. If Donghyuck goes back home and sees Taewoo's disgusting face trying to get all cuddly with his mother, then he will no longer care about being on Santa's nice list.

Fuck that. Taewoo has to go.

"Don't worry. If the intelligence genes run in your family, your mother will soon realise that she deserves so much better." Renjun helpfully fuelled Donghyuck's ego by proving just how right he was in his distaste towards the man that had supposedly 'won' his mother's heart.

"Damn right she does." Donghyuck huffed stubbornly, "Anyway, I'm glad we finally have a break. We should do something for new years as well. A few of people I know are going to set up a firework display in the park, you better come with me when you get back." he remembered how Johnny had invited him to spend new years together with the others before they go back to university after their break finished. Mark looked so pissed that Donghyuck just _had_ to agree.

"Which people? Do I know these _people_?" Renjun looked at him sceptically.

"No, they're Mark hyung's friends. They invited me over." Donghyuck shrugged as if it was no big deal.

Renjun shot up from his lying position and gaped at the tanned boy who had his eyes shut absentmindedly.

"Wait so... the friends of your crush invited you to spend new years with them?! Do you know how big this is?! It's practically like... meeting the parents!!" he waved his hands around exaggeratedly and Donghyuck didn't even need to look to know that Renjun was simply over-assuming things.

"I've already met his parents, and his brother was the one who invited me in the first place." Donghyuck sighed as he rolled out of bed, knowing Renjun was getting picked up by his parents soon, so he wanted to see the other off. "Besides, its not like Mark invited me himself. You should've seen the look on his face when I said yes. He looked so angry... it was honestly funny."

Of course Mark would never voluntarily invite him to spend more time together during winter break. Why would he do that? For him, holidays like these were the special occasions he could use to finally get away from Donghyuck. So he was obviously and blatantly annoyed when Johnny invited him to hang out.

Donghyuck could probably spend all day being upset about that. He could spend so, so much of his time being sad and frustrated with the lack of care Mark shows him. But Donghyuck decided that he's better than that. He can see through Mark and he knows that if he tries harder, maybe Mark could like him.

"Well, I'm sure Mark will be more annoyed if you have your friends join in as well." Renjun started after a while, "So you can count me in."

Donghyuck chuckled and nodded in confirmation.

"And that's why you're my best friend."

Ten is a mischievous little shit, Donghyuck has learned.

He's the kind of person that picks up on anything and everything with those observing, cat-like eyes of his.

He could expose Donghyuck's feelings in a few seconds flat and Donghyuck has no choice but to be utterly amazed by his talents. Amazed, and completely terrified at the same time.

The amount of times Donghyuck has seen Ten pull on a shit-eating grin and look as if he was threatening to spill out his feelings for the whole world to hear was honestly horrifying.

Donghyuck could even recall the amount of times Ten had let it slip to Mark that Donghyuck has feelings for him. It happened on multiple occasions during the course of them knowing each other, mainly through the many drinking games Donghyuck had found himself wound up in with the older university boys, who insisted they add Donghyuck as a member of whatever group they had formed; much to Donghyuck's hesitance and Mark's absolute rage.

Nonetheless, Donghyuck adored Ten like a true hyung. It helped since his cousin, Doyoung, had always talked so highly _and_ lowly of the university boys that Donghyuck couldn't even stop himself from enjoying their company.

Mark getting angry at him for it was literally just an added bonus.

Besides all the admiration and respect Donghyuck had for his hyungs, he also feared them in a way. Just like Ten, the others _knew_ something. And they were in no way being discreet or subtle about it. They outwardly teased him for the fact that he had a crush on Mark and then proceeded to be confused every time Donghyuck and Mark showed off just how much they hated each other, as if the potential of love blossoming between them was practically less than zero.

At first, Donghyuck didn't mind them knowing, although it was getting a little tiring having to blush and get all flustered and shy whenever the older boys teased him about his crush. Having to deal with his one-sided crush was already bad enough, especially when Mark was constantly around him, but having others tease him for it was just adding to the despair of his entire situation.

For example, Donghyuck was now being dragged over to Mark's house by Ten himself. Never in his entire life did he think someone whom he recently became acquainted with, would be dragging him to the house of the boy he desperately liked.

Even saying it out loud sounded incredibly weird and the words were entirely foreign in his mind and on the tip of his tongue.

Donghyuck only managed to throw on a decent outfit when Ten came banging on his door, yelling at him to get ready because they're "going somewhere". How Ten even figured out which dorm room he stayed in, or how he even got on campus, will forever be a mystery to him.

And when Donghyuck found himself being dragged through the familiar doors of Mark's house, an ugly feeling bubbled in the pit of his stomach.

"Why is _he_ here?" Mark scowled once they saw each other.

"I would like to know the answer to that question as well, actually." Donghyuck hissed back at him, even though his words were directed to Ten, who stood with a knowing look on his face that neither Mark nor Donghyuck could decipher.

"What? Can't I hang out with my favourite little bros anymore? Is this the kind of respect I deserve?" Ten crossed his arms and shot the two a deadpanned look in faux disappointment.

Mark and Donghyuck exchanged a glance, one that conveyed how unimpressed they were with the reason.

"I'm going back to bed." Donghyuck sighed, turning around to head for the door. But Ten was supposedly faster, as he moved to grab Donghyuck's arm and drag him upstairs, towards what Donghyuck found to be Johnny's room, completely ignoring the confused calls from Mark, who was still downstairs.

"Hyung! What the fu-"

"Do you want Mark to be your boyfriend by the end of the year, or what?" Ten cut him off, his words sending Donghyuck into a mental malfunction.

"W-what?" was all the tanned boy could stutter out, too shocked by how direct the question was.

"Wrong answer." Ten shook his head after he closed the door and started leading Donghyuck towards the bed, "It's christmas soon and I heard you're going back home, that means we don't have much time left."

" _We_?" Donghyuck questioned, sceptically examining the thoughtful face Ten had pulled on.

"Did you want someone else to accompany you to buy lingerie?" Ten asked with wide eyes, as if his question was a completely normal, every-day thing to say.

"To WHAT?!?!" Donghyuck spluttered out, barely registering whatever he just heard. He didn't just hear that, right? Oh my fuck... he did _not_ just hear that.

"Hyuck, honey, are you ok? For someone as smart as you... you're not sounding very intelligent right now." Ten pursed his lips together in a line to emphasise his confusion.

Donghyuck mentally gives Johnny kudos for being able to date such a strong, straight-forward character as Ten. He does that, _and_ also admires Ten for being so direct. What an icon.

"I-I... what did you just say, hyung?" Donghyuck mentally prayed that he heard the words completely wrong.

"I _said_ , if you wanted someone else to accompany you to buy linger-"

"Nope! No! Stop there... don't finish that sentence." Donghyuck cut him off, not even wanting to hear those embarrassing words again, "W-why would I need to do... _that_." 

Ten, being the observant and deceptive person that he was, must've noticed the amount of sheer embarrassment Donghyuck felt in that moment and decided to pick up on it. It was cute and Ten didn't understand how Mark could put up his 'cold boy' façade and ignore the adorableness of one Lee Donghyuck.

To him, it just didn't make any sense.

"Hyuck-ah..." Ten started softly, "Mark's really stubborn and you know that. He's not going to suddenly start liking you, even if he finds out you have feelings for him. You've got to actually _do_ something to make him fall for you as well."

Donghyuck understood that. He really did. He'd heard it in multiple forms from Jaemin and a little from Renjun as well. But when it comes to Mark, everything is so effortless on his behalf. 

For Donghyuck, it was so easy to be in love with Mark Lee. It was hard when it came to everything else, because Mark was a bossy, stubborn, piece of shit. But, besides that, Donghyuck found that loving Mark wasn't that difficult.

Making Mark fall in love with him was much, much harder. That particular grey area of his entire dilemma was the reason why he felt emotionally distressed and heartbroken majority of the time. Mark refused everything that was related to Donghyuck and it was so, blatantly obvious.

Donghyuck doesn't even think changing the way they have sex, or trying to spice things up between the sheets would have much of an effect on how Mark feels for him.

"Hyung, I know you're trying to help and maybe this worked for you..." Donghyuck didn't really know how to swerve around this humiliating topic, in all honesty, "but Mark doesn't care for those things. Besides, I don't have the right body for those kind of stuff."

Ten raised a brow, as if he was ready to pull out a three-hundred-paged book on the 'importance of having a good sex life to maintain a healthy relationship'. 

"First off, there is no way you can feel insecure about yourself after being fuckbuddies with Mark for over a year." Ten declared, "You're stunning, shut up." 

Donghyuck giggled at that, a blush crawling up on his cheeks as his mind ended up wondering what it would feel like to hear such words from Mark instead.

"Have you ever tried- you _know_... it?" Ten enquired, a completely innocent question to ask... probably.

Nothing had even happened yet and Donghyuck already thought it was a bad idea.

A part of him wanted to decline such a suggestion hidden beneath the implications of those words. He didn't know whether venturing into that kind of territory would end well.

Would Mark mind it? Would he be disgusted by it? Would he just end up hating Donghyuck even more?

Donghyuck had always been one to take risks and step out of his comfort zone, but this wasn't just stepping out of his comfort zone; this was stepping over a whole ocean of insecurities and then probably drowning while he's at it.

Even still, he shyly shook his head, watched as Ten smiled acceptingly and a little devilishly before being dragged out by the Thai male himself once more.

(Unknowing to the younger, Ten literally had to refrain himself from going on a whole rant on how _good_ it feels to wear such things. He deemed that such a conversation should be reserved for another day.)

Donghyuck doesn't know whether this will change anything, but he couldn't help but feel a little excited as well.

"Also..." he asked curiously, "why did you bring me all the way to Mark's house just to tell me this?"

"It creates _atmosphere_ ~~~"

"That is literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

_Fuck._

This is a _bad_ idea.

This is by far the worst idea Donghyuck has ever heard of or had to endure in his entire eighteen years of existence. 

He was probably two seconds away from blowing this plan up and leaving. Currently, he was standing in Mark's room, loose clothing hugging his body and his mind wondering off to how in about three days time, he'd be at home, celebrating christmas with his mother.

The irony of his situation could be amusing.

Ten had constructed the plan perfectly (in his opinion). He had promised Donghyuck that he'd get Mark drunk enough from their previous pre-christmas festivities, before sending Mark up to his room. Once Mark set his eyes on Donghyuck, he'll instantly think that they would get it on like they usually do, only Donghyuck had prepared a surprise for him beforehand.

And that's where the problem lies.

Donghyuck didn't entirely know how to feel. Underneath his baggy sweatpants and hoodie; tight, lacey material decorated his body and although Donghyuck thought it would look pretty... he didn't necessarily feel like it.

He had never done this before and all the fabric on his skin felt completely foreign, as if he didn't take it off in the next few moments, it would burn his skin instead.

Mark had probably seen so many people wear these kind of things. A line of girls who've ended up in Mark's bed, all probably wearing sexier clothing for their more perfect figures. Small bodies, pale, pristine skin, glowing in every way.

Donghyuck didn't think he had any of that. 

And all his insecurities continued to pile up in such a way that he started regretting every agreeing to such an idea.

Mark doesn't _like_ him.

This won't change _anything_.

Mark won't find him appealing no matter what he does and Donghyuck doesn't know why he's being so stubborn in accepting that.

His head was currently screaming _abort mission, abort mission_!

His thoughts were instantly cut off and fear rushed up to his throat when the door opened and Mark stumbled inside.

Donghyuck gulped nervously, his palms sweating and his heart practically palpitating out of his chest. He watched Mark cautiously walk around, internally cooing at how cute the older looked with flushed, pink cheeks; evidence of the alcohol he had been drinking.

"You're still here?" Mark sneered in his usual, spiteful tone.

"Hyung... its christmas soon." Donghyuck ignored the older's words and treaded towards Mark carefully.

"So?" Mark could barely keep his eyes open, his limbs becoming lethargic as his shoulders slumped over, threatening to pull his entire body to the floor.

"I... ummm..." Donghyuck didn't know what to say, he simply reached up and tugged Mark by the collars of his shirt before directing him towards the bed, pushing the older down onto the mattress. "I wanted to give you something..."

"What? Why would an annoying brat like you need to give me anything?" Mark unbuttoned the first three buttons of his shirt and sat back against the headboard of the bed, trying to let the cold air in his room dry away the drunken sweat against his skin.

"Well... we've been busy with work and student council stuff, so we couldn't meet up as much..." Donghyuck started, clearing his throat to appear more casual, and unknowingly failing at doing so. "And we're not going to see each other until break is over... so, I thought I'd make tonight a little more... _special_."

Mark was looking at him quizzically and a part of Donghyuck mentally prayed that the older was drunk enough to not be able to remember anything after he leaves the room.

"Whatever." Mark hummed with an eyeroll since he really couldn't care less. He reached out and pulled Donghyuck onto the bed, reversing their positions so the tanned boy was trapped underneath him.

Donghyuck let out a shriek in surprise. Ten's words circled his mind.

_'You've got to be in control.'_

Easier said than done. Donghyuck couldn't even stop the insecure thoughts from flooding his head, never mind take control.

"W-wait, wait... actually, I-" Donghyuck wanted to back out. He didn't want Mark to see him like this. He didn't feel confident in what he was wearing and it only added to the embarrassment of his situation. Mark would only be disgusted as soon as he saw him. This is such a bad idea. 

"Quiet." Mark commanded, cutting off whatever protests Donghyuck was about to say.

Donghyuck held his breath, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes when he felt Mark slowly pull down his trousers. He bit his lip as he watched Mark's face contort, his expression turning into one filled with a mixture of confusion and judgement.

A small gasp escaped Donghyuck's lips when he felt hands run up under his hoodie and the fabric being pushed up all the way over his head.

Donghyuck didn't want to look. His entire body started burning from how exposed he felt under Mark's watchful gaze. How bare he was, yet supposedly covered at the same time.

They've never done anything like this before. They've never experimented, never explored each other's tastes or kinks. Donghyuck doesn't know whether to feel proud of himself for showing this side of him, or absolutely terrified with the way Mark was _looking_ at him.

God, the way Mark _looks_ at him.

Donghyuck felt like melting right there and then. Every nerve in his body started tingling when he noticed how Mark raked his eyes all over his body. He could feel the way Mark's fingers ran over every strand of lace around his waist and his legs.

Mark must've been seriously drunk because Donghyuck swears on his life... Mark has never looked at him like _that_.

Just by the way he looked alone, Donghyuck felt all his insecurities rush up like a tidal wave.

Was it ok?

Does he like it?

Is he bothered by it?

Was he uncomfortable?

"Mark, I-" he tried to explain himself, only to be cut off once more.

"I said... _quiet_." Mark hissed, eyes snapping up to glare right into Donghyuck's.

The next thing Donghyuck knew, his wrists were tied up above his head with some piece of cloth that Donghyuck didn't even know where Mark got from, while a pair of hands were holding him down by his waist.

Mark looked scary right now, in Donghyuck's honest perspective.

Scary, and _hungry_.

As if Mark was ready to unleash the tiger inside.

Donghyuck couldn't tell how Mark was feeling. If it was someone else, would Mark act this way as well? Would he look at them like that? Hold them like this?

Never in his entire life has Donghyuck felt as pathetic as he did right now. The lack of mobility in his hands caused Donghyuck to bury his face on his shoulder in attempt to cover his face as much as he could, already feeling the hot tears streaming down his burning cheeks. 

It felt so fucking _good_. Fuck... Mark was a _beast_.

As soon he felt a mouth against his ass, Donghyuck knew he was done for 'cause shit was Mark's tongue gifted. Mark could eat him out for hours and then fuck him straight after for even more and all Donghyuck could do was scream until his throat clenched painfully and no sounds could come out.

He wanted to feel disgusted, miserable that his body was being treated in such a way without any reassurance. But all he could feel was sickening pleasure because, like always, like every other time Donghyuck wanted to find an excuse to hate Mark, all his thoughts would fly out of his head and all he could think of was the pleasure his body was experiencing amidst the pain.

Mark Lee was insane in all the best ways possible.

Donghyuck couldn't help but wonder what kinks they shared; if they could change the way they fuck. That, maybe, if they explored or played around, Mark would only pay attention to him, only have time for him and no one else.

If Mark could keep Donghyuck in his mind, if he's the only one the president thinks about, Donghyuck knows he'll be one step closer to snatching a spot in the older's heart.

Either that, or Donghyuck just had _things_ that he wanted to try out with Mark that he hoped would end up sending the older over the edge.

"Don't do this again." Mark instructed firmly from his position on top of the younger who was currently pressed on his stomach with his head hazy on a pillow. Donghyuck was instantly snatched out of his thoughts, shuddering at how deep and grumbly Mark's voice sounded. "Don't wear this for me again."

"I- I thought-" Donghyuck started quietly, trying to push himself up even though his back was killing him.

"Well you thought wrong." Mark pushed himself off the bed and headed for his wardrobe to get some clothes. "I don't need to see you like this. If you thought it would have an affect on me, you're wrong. Stuff like this is useless, so don't bother next time."

Donghyuck clenched his fist and pursed his lips tightly, watching as the older made his way into his bathroom. He trailed his gaze over to the floor and collected the dark red garment which had been partially ripped off his body by none other than Mark himself during their activities.

'This was so expensive. I can't believe I spent my allowance on this.' he frowned deeply. 'God... I'm so stupid.'

Donghyuck simply brushed off his thoughts and wiped himself clean with tissues and a wet cloth before slipping on his clothes. He spared one glance at the bathroom door and tilted his head at the way the sound of the shower didn't turn on immediately like it usually would.

Being with Mark was so bad for his heart.

He was confused and insecure and felt worthless ninety-percent of the time. 

But something about Mark made Donghyuck want to be with him even more. Donghyuck was never one to back down from anything, and his rivalry with Mark forced him to crush his pride and just deal with the treatment Mark gave him.

Loving Mark was difficult, and Donghyuck just wanted to know whether it would be worth it, despite the voice in his head telling him that a one-sided love was very much _never_ worth it.

Mark waited until he heard the sound of his bedroom door close shut and the lack of footsteps wondering around in his room.

He knew Ten was up to something when the Thai male started handing him way too many drinks. Mark wasn't stupid, and everyone knew that. Ten most definitely knew that. He also probably knew that there was no way Mark was going to fall for the 'get him drunk' trick, because whenever that happens, something usually follows right afterwards, and Mark knew better than to fall drunk before he got to know what would happen.

What happened was Lee Donghyuck.

Barely five minutes had passed and Mark had currently trapped himself in his bathroom, staring at the palms of his hands with bated, heavy breaths.

_'Lace. Tanned skin.'_

He could barely breathe properly.

_'So much lace. So, so much golden, tanned skin.'_

Mark desperately wished he was drunk. He shouldn't have been so observant before and just accepted the shots Ten was handing him earlier and downing them all in one go without another thought.

If he did that, he could've fucked the life out of Donghyuck and not worry about any afterthoughts.

Because now, all his afterthoughts consisted of the way Donghyuck looked. Why did he do that? What was so special about this year's christmas? They didn't even see each other this time last year... what's changed now? Why did Donghyuck do it?

Mark wanted to scream and swear at him. That stupid, little brat. Nothing but a fucking nuisance in his life. All Donghyuck does is annoy the shit out of him without any consideration.

Words rendered meaningless in his head and everything he could say to describe the younger just didn't leave his lips. So many modifiers he could use, but nothing came out.

And when Mark crashed into his bed, ready to just forget everything and excuse it as a 'drunken experience', all he could think about was _lace_. 

_Lace and skin._

_Dark, red lace. Honey, tanned skin._

_Glossy, pink lips._

_Big, doe-like, brown eyes._

_Soft, brassy-bronze locks of hair._

_Moans, cries, screams._

Mark let out a shaky breath and squeezed his eyes shut.

" _Fuck..._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NHSLQAOISOWIMAOSI comments are not necessary do not worry... i don't need to know how shameless and indulgent i decided to be for this chapter hajshahahdiawsljs  
> this was part of my initial initial ideas when i was planning this book, like, one of the first plot ideas i had!! its not like i could just not include it.  
> also! i wrote this a while ago, but as i was proofreading this chapter... i decided to add a superm reference bc why not-  
> hehehe sry~
> 
> ANYWAYYYYYY~~  
> tomorrow is a BIG day!! which is why i really wanted to update today so i can tell you this!! we got loads of content this weekend; episode two of what chenle wants - which was sosososoosososooo cute omg ;-; and then episode 2 of jaemin and johnny's awsaz, which was also sosososososoosoooo cute ;-; and we got a few voice vlives... bc nct are sneaky and they're hiding smth but ok.  
> AND WE GOT THE UNCUT FOR NCT 2020 YEAR PARTY OMOMGOGOGMG THE INTERACTIONNNSSSSS!!!! even thought it was right at the end... we got yuwin after so lonnnggg i actually cried :((( and we got so many china line interactions!! it was so great to see renle with wayv!! and renyang besties wbk~ and mark and yangyang oqixsnoaijmpos i cri- and jaehyun and winwin omg 97 line lemon-orange cross bestiiesss~
> 
> BUTTTTT BUTUTBUTBUTBTBUTBUTBUBTOWIMSOQI TOMORROW IS THE DAY!! NCT 2020 RESONANCE IS HAPPENING!! I'M SO EXCITED I DON'T THINK I'LL BE GETTING ANY SLEEP TONIGHT!!! I JUST CAN'T WAIT IT'S GOING TO BE SO AMAZING BC NCT ARE ALWAYS SOSOSO AMAZING!!! <33 y'all better stream thanks :) 
> 
> make a wish is releasing tmrw at 10 am for me and my first class is at 10:05.... that means i literally have a span of 5 minutes to condense all my emotional constipation and watch the mv. no joke... i'm going with a green concept to school tmrw and everything and i'm literally secretly pinning little signs up on notice boards so non-nctzens around school will WATCH THE MV :'((( sighhhhh the lengths i go to~~ but nct are always worth it!!! <333
> 
> anyway.... this was a slightly off chapter (but i did warn you guys in the previous chapter.. so don't @ me :')) even still, i hope you enjoyed it and found the different sides of mark and hyuck interesting!!
> 
> thank you so much for your lovely comments (that i will soon reply to) and thank you so much for the support and the unhealthy amount of love!! you guys are so kind and so amazing thank you thank you :')))) i'll try my hardest to keep the pace going and update as much as i can!!
> 
> thank you so so much!! <333
> 
> see you next chapter!! :))
> 
> ~Risa <3


	26. twenty four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooof... i took so long this time. i'm sorry!! i had so much work to do and school stuff :'(((
> 
> i also needed to write another chapter to make sure i stay five chapters ahead of a chapter release :)
> 
> thank you so much for being patient !! and thank you soso much for 8k hits!!! that's crazy!!! 
> 
> !! TRIGGER WARNING !! Mentions of domestic abuse!! it's not graphic, it is only implied, but it is important and is talked about for a good portion of this chapter as well as referred to in the upcoming chapters !!!!!
> 
> hope you like this chapter :)

"Anyway, I can't wait to get back home and see you!" Donghyuck squealed happily at the thought. He didn't act like it half the time, but he truly missed his mother and he just wanted to go back home and share everything that had happened in his second year of college so far.

Currently, he was lounging in a plastic chair in a 24-hour convenience store, deciding that nearing midnight was the perfect time to call his mother, knowing she would've just finished her shift. He seriously couldn't wait to go back home and spend christmas with her. Although the time of year was always solemn and a little lonely with just the two of them, they managed to enjoy their time every year and always invited family friends around when they could.

"Oh, but... you don't have to rush, Hyuckie. I know you've got lots of work and I told you to focus on your studies. Don't worry about me." she assured, as if it wasn't tradition to spend christmas together. Not only that, but something in her voice didn't sit well with Donghyuck.

"You don't want me back?" he pouted, pulling on his 'baby' voice.

"Of course I do, sweetie! I miss you so much, baby bear... I just don't want to disturb you."

"You could never!" Donghyuck assured, but when he looked up, he noticed someone familiar walking down one of the aisles of the convenience store he had holed himself up in late in the evening. "I have to go now, mom, but I can't wait to see you in a couple of days. ok... bye!"

"Hyuck wait-" his mother was about to say something more, but the call had already been cut off and Donghyuck's attention had already been stolen.

"Why are you here... _again_?" Mark scowled once he saw the younger boy.

"Am I not allowed to go to shops now anymore?" Donghyuck raised a brow accusingly.

"There are so many in the area... yet you _had_ to go to this one specifically?" Mark blindly grabbed a bag of crisps that Donghyuck was sure the older didn't like, but didn't point it out anyway.

"I like the ramen here better. Besides, the one near campus is still closed... so shut up and let me be a free human being with fucking rights." Donghyuck snarled.

"Well guess what? I have rights too. The right to fucking smack the life out of you, you little shit!" Mark tried to lunge forward to the table Donghyuck was sitting at with his steaming pot of noodles, but the younger was quicker by a microsecond as he managed to move away just before Mark could get a hold of him.

"Was your new years resolution not to be admitted into jail for murder or something?!" Donghyuck screwed his eyes at Mark, holding a fork in his hand to act as his weapon of self-defence.

"If that was my resolution, I'm doing a really bad job at keeping it." Mark grabbed Donghyuck by his arm and they started thrashing about with each other, spitting insults and curses. "Just fuck off already!"

"No!"

Mark scoffed and rolled his eyes before roughly pushing the younger off and moving over to a separate table, whipping out his own pot of noodles and deciding to ignore the younger completely, who looked as if he was about to throw a tantrum.

"I've already seen enough of you today... why do I have to look at your face even more?!" Donghyuck cried out, not-so-subtly.

"It's not like I asked you to come here. Please leave so I can enjoy my ramen without your demonic presence ruining it for me." Mark sneered, gripping his own fork even tighter at the latter's childish insults.

"No, you leave!"

"You leave!"

"Can you both please leave!" the guy behind the counter yells at them, way too tired to deal with this. It was almost midnight and he looked as if he was ready to break the 24 hour open store promise and close the shop himself.

The next thing they knew, Mark and Donghyuck were standing outside the shop doors in the winter's cold. 

"Great. We got kicked out because of you." Mark gritted through his teeth.

"Me?!!" Donghyuck looked at him with pure offense etched all over his face, "You started it, asshole! I was literally minding my own fucking business and then your privileged ass decided that you needed to ruin, not only my day, but that poor shop assistant's day as well! Is this a casual day in the life of Mark Lee the asshole?!"

"Are you done? You finished your little rant?" Mark shot him a side-glance, deciding that he wasn't going to show how offended he was by the younger's accusing words.

"You're a menace, Mark Lee." Donghyuck grumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets and frowning deeply.

Mark stared at him for a few moments, eyes tracing over the pink tints that hinted his pale bronze cheeks and the subtle pout on his chapped lips, evidence of the cold biting at them. His hair fell in curls over his eyebrows, the lighting of a nearby street lamp bringing out the hazel colour of his locks.

So many _words_ buzzed around in Mark's mind and he didn't know what to do or what to say. Just words and phrases that didn't make any sense to him. He didn't want to say any of them to Donghyuck, they weren't for him. They can't be for him.

"You got a name kink or something? Huh? _Lee Donghyuck_?" Mark leaned closer, raising a brow mockingly and watching with a curious gaze when Donghyuck's eyes widened in surprise and the pink on his cheeks suddenly didn't look like it was from the cold.

"What? Does it bother you?" Donghyuck retorted, wanting to stand his ground, "Should I call you all the kinky names I can think of?"

Mark was clearly taken aback by the words, but his stubbornness prevented him from losing the argument, so he grabbed Donghyuck by his wrist and pulled him towards a dark alleyway behind the store before pressing the younger against the brick wall.

"I dare you." he seethed, trapping the latter by pinning his hands, "You really think you can just say whatever you want. Damn brat, you should just learn some fucking respect and stop thinking everything's a game."

"Aww... are you mad at me now?" Donghyuck exaggerated a pout, his words teasing and harmless. "You think I won't do it? Only yesterday you had me in a similar position on your bed, your eyes all over me. I didn't think you were into that kind of stuff, hyung~"

"Shut up. Shut the fuck up right now." Mark breathed out dangerously, his mind already wondering back to last night when Donghyuck's 'gift' consisted of _him_ in lingerie. He was stimulated enough to the point where he could just fuck Donghyuck against the wall right here, right now.

"You were touching me everywhere, did you like they way it felt? You're probably used to it, right?" Donghyuck smirked victoriously at how angry Mark looked, "Come on, you can tell me~ don't be all shy now... _daddy_."

Lee Donghyuck was one kinky motherfucker and all Mark wanted to do was put him in his place.

"Slut." he grumbled, narrowing his eyes at the way Donghyuck bit on his lip, trying to hold back a smirk.

Mark was close to losing all his sanity. He pressed his knee between the younger's things, leaning in close and running a hand under the latter's shirt.

Donghyuck was, quite blatantly, enjoying this. He loved sending Mark over the edge until he was forced to pin him down and fuck him hard. The feeling was unbelievably accomplishing.

Their moment, however, was cut short when the sound of a door opening interrupted them, forcing the two boys to divert their attention to the side where a back door leading into the alleyway opened.

Mark and Donghyuck both froze when they locked gazes with none other than the shop assistant who had just kicked them out of the convenience store barely ten minutes ago.

The shop assistant, who only wanted to throw at the trash out before going back in to lock up, was met with the unfortunate sight in front of him as he eyed their position warily. The three ended up sending messages through their eyes.

While Mark and Donghyuck wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow them whole, the shop assistant looked as if he wanted to, not only kick the two out of his shop, but probably kick them out of the city if he could.

"Damn young couples..." he mumbled angrily, "start their lover quarrels in my fucking shop and then they're all over each other once I kick 'em out... don't get paid enough for this shit..."

The shop assistant continued to mutter angry curses as he walked back through the door and slammed it shut.

Donghyuck felt his entire body flush with warmth as he tore his gaze away from the door and found more interest in the ground below.

_Couple?_

_Lovers?_

Donghyuck could feel a buzz of satisfaction and happiness shoot through him at the thought. Hearing it out loud sounded even better than thinking it in his head!

"The fuck is he talking about?" Mark hissed, shaking his head in disapproval as he stepped away from Donghyuck and headed out of the alleyway.

Donghyuck frowned and quickly rushed after the older boy after fixing his shirt.

"What? You pissed that he saw us?" he enquired, hoping for a specific answer.

"No? Why would I care about that?" Mark looked at him judgingly, "I'm just annoyed that he assumed we're something. As if I'd go out with someone like you. Ha! Imagine."

"Yeah... imagine." Donghyuck repeated, his words quieter and more disappointed.

Mark spared him a glance, letting his eyes linger on the younger's sad expression for a little longer before drifting into a new topic.

"Are you going this way as well?" he asked.

"Huh?" Donghyuck shot his head up and looked around, taking in his surroundings before realising which direction he was going in. "Oh! I'm meant to go back to my dorm actually... I've still got to pack."

"Pack? Are you going somewhere?" Mark raised a brow once they both stopped at the corner of the street.

"Well duh?! Did you think I'd spend christmas away from my family?" Donghyuck accused, as if he expected Mark to know better, "I'm going back for a week."

'A week?' Mark couldn't help but think.

"Hmm... well, don't rush back. Not like you'll be missed or anything." Mark shrugged carelessly, ignoring the younger's whines as he made his was down the usual route towards his house. He knew Johnny invited Donghyuck for their new years eve celebrations, so it's not like the latter wasn't coming back or anything.

"W-wait! Mark hyung!"

Mark turned around at the call of his name, raising his brow at whatever the younger wanted to tell him.

"Uhh..." Donghyuck fumbled with his words, twisting his fingers nervously, "i-it's dark..."

Mark stared up at the sky, the misty midnight and the full moon indicating that it was, in fact, dark. He looked back at Donghyuck and felt his breath hitch at the way the moonlight danced in even streaks across his skin, even from a distance, especially from a distance.

"Well... don't look at me as if I can change the time of day for you." he pursed his lips tightly, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Even if I could... I wouldn't."

With that, he turns around and continued his way back before rapidly sliding into another alleyway, peaking out to look back to the corner Donghyuck was standing at.

He watched as Donghyuck stared off into the sky for a few moments before sagging his shoulders and going off in the opposite direction.

Mark counted to twenty in his head. He waited a few moments, before stumbling out of the narrow alleyway he was hiding in and re-tracing his steps, keeping at a far distance, but never letting the small figure of Donghyuck's body leave his line of sight as his feet sub-consciously followed after the younger.

He follows him until he sees the latter turn into the campus gates and head towards his dorm block.

He counts to twenty again in his head, waits a few moments and then pivots on his feet, ready to resume his journey back home, knowing that nothing bad happened tonight.

Donghyuck could barely contain his excitement. His leg was bouncing the entire, hour-long bus journey as he tapped his fingers impatiently on his knee. 

A series of red-roofed houses configured with neat precision on the multiple rows of neighbourhoods that Donghyuck had grown up near, until his own appeared in sight.

It had only been a few months since summer break when he last was at home, but every time he walks through his neighbourhood, a nostalgic feeling builds up in his stomach as he re-traces his steps. The feeling is similar to firsts. The first time you walk, the first time you speak, the first time you eat chocolate - an indescribable feeling that Donghyuck found himself associating with the feeling of _coming home_.

He clutched his duffel bag tightly, deciding that he only needed to pack light since he had plenty of stuff at home anyway. He felt giddy and cheery, a bright grin on his face when he passed the different coloured doors of his neighbours. He made a mental note to greet them later before he had to go back.

With a skip in his step, Donghyuck danced towards his house, stopping right before the gate, just to take everything in. He didn't want to wait any longer, so he hurried along the walkway and almost tripped over the steps leading to the front door. He pulled his keys out before jamming them in with haste, rattling it out around the key hole and pushing the door open.

Donghyuck's house wasn't small in any way. It was big and comfortable, and cosy at the time. It wasn't too extravagant and it wasn't too minimalistic. It was basically goldilocks' definition of _just right_.

It wasn't a huge, stupidly and unnecessarily spacious mansion like Mark's, but it definitely held an impressive exterior and interior design element to it.

Speaking of Mark.

Donghyuck is not going to think about him at all. He's not going to think about him, talk about him, think more about him, think about what he's thinking about, wishing he was here, wishing he was there with him - he's not going to do any of it.

He's not going to think about Mark Lee.

Mark Lee? Who's that? Don't know him.

This was precious family time that he wanted to spend with his mother and nothing was going to get in the way of that.

"Mom!! I'm home!" Donghyuck yelled, wondering why his mother didn't manage to greet him at the door. But he didn't hold onto it for long, especially not when he saw his mother racing down the stairs.

His eyebrow raised in confusion, however, when he saw his mother wearing a mask on her face, beads of seat trickling down the sides of her forehead, evidence of her exasperation.

"What's with the mask?" he questioned as he kicked off his shoes, "Wait- is there a global pandemic no one told me about?!"

"N-no sweetie... and if there was, it would be the Hyuckie-is-too-adorable virus." her eyes smile since her lips were obviously covered by her mask.

Donghyuck cringed at the comment but giggled in delight anyway. 

"If that's the case, then I'm sure some kisses will cure you!" Donghyuck laughed as he stuck out his cheek, patiently waiting for his mother to drown him in affection.

What he didn't expect was to feel his mother's face close to him, only to be kissed on the cheek... with her mask on.

"Mom? Is everything ok?" Donghyuck asked warily, confused with by his mother's behaviour.

_Something wasn't right._

"Everything is fine, Hyuckie... honestly." she waved off, her hand sub-consciously reaching up to adjust her mask.

At that point, Donghyuck was getting annoyed, especially with that stupid fucking mask. Without another thought, he reached a hand out and ripped the fabric mask off her face, ignoring her protests as she desperately slapped a hand to her lip.

But Donghyuck had already seen it. 

"Oh my god..." he mumbled under his breath, his eyes stinging with unshed tears as he grabbed his mother's hand and forced it away from her face, "OH MY FUCKING GOD-"

"Lee Donghyuck! Don't swear!" she scolded, without much power in her voice.

"Mom... mother... what- what is this..." Donghyuck barely managed to speak up as his fingers carefully hovered over the corner of his mother's mouth, fearing that he would do something to worsen the wound that spread from the corner of her lips all across the side of her cheek. "Your lip... it's completely busted I-... _who_ did this?! How did this happen!?! Was it... oh my god... was it _him_?!"

At this point, Donghyuck felt his blood boiling and rage coursing through every pore in his body. He couldn't think straight, he was so consumed with anger and irritation that he needed to punch something, to let out all his fury on an animate object.

"Honey, it was an accident-"

"WHERE IS HE?!"

"He's not here right now... calm down, it's ok..." she tried to reach out to him, only wanting to hold her son close, but Donghyuck rejected the touch, too outraged to accept any form of affection.

"WHERE IS HIS STUFF?! I'M THROWING ALL THAT SHIT OUT - HE'S NOT STAYING HERE ANYMORE!"

"LEE DONGHYUCK! DON'T YOU DARE RAISE YOUR VOICE!"

Donghyuck found himself stumbling back a little, unable to process everything. His mother was struck by someone whom she said she "liked". This wasn't just a casual occurrence. This wasn't just a normal thing to do. 

This wasn't right.

"Is this why?" he started after a few moments of thick silence, "Is this why you didn't want me to come back? You didn't want me to see you get beat up by your so-called pathetic excuse of a boyfriend?" he recounted the way his mother sounded hesitant over the phone a couple of days back and the way she was obviously trying to hide something in her tone of voice.

"He's not _pathetic_ , he's just... he was just-" his mother tried to assure, but Donghyuck didn't know who she was trying to sell to.

"He was drunk, right?" Donghyuck finished the sentence off for her and her silence was more than enough confirmation. Donghyuck already knew from the previous summer when he had first witnessed Taewoo in a drunken state - it wasn't a pretty sight, "He was angry for some stupid reason, so he got drunk and then came home and lashed out on you. And you- you didn't _tell_ me. Instead, you tell me to stay away? My mother is here getting beaten and I'm not supposed to worry?"

He felt like crying. This had been happening right under his nose and he never even knew about it. His mother was living with a dick-of-a-human being and he never even knew.

"He doesn't _beat_ me! It was just once! Stop being so horrible, Donghyuck! He made a mistake and he apologised for it." she defended, as if it was her duty to stand up for someone who struck her down.

"Right." Donghyuck huffed out a large breath before wondering into the dining room, simply wanting to clear his thoughts and calm down. His eyes instantly landed on the pot of flowers set on the middle of the dining table and he couldn't help but let out a humourless laugh. "Did he get you those? Did he give you flowers and say sorry?" he pointed at the vase of flowers.

"Yes, but-"

"You don't even like roses. You hate the way they smell and you don't like how dark they look because it brings the atmosphere down. You said it yourself."

"It's the thought that counts. I couldn't just throw them away." she offered a forced smile that almost looked a little cracked with the way the corner of her bruised lips faltered.

"You could have. You really, really could have. You were supposed to do exactly that, You were supposed to take the flowers and throw them back in his face, then slam the door on him and tell him to never see you again." Donghyuck took the flowers out of the glass vase and threw them in the bin. His mother didn't even protest. "Mom... break it off, _please_. Tell him to get lost before things get worse because... they _will_ get worse."

"Donghyuck, you know I love you, sweetie." she started, drawing closer and taking the trembling boy into her embrace, "I know you're not saying it, so I'll say it for you. There was no one like your father. No one treated me or loved me like he did. I already knew when I lost him that I wouldn't find anyone better."

"You will! I'll find one for you!" Donghyuck cried out in desperation, the caged up section of his heart that remained empty, void of any love even since the day he lost his father.

"No, sweetie. You focus on _your_ life. You need to focus on your future and finding someone that makes you feel loved and safe and you have to hold onto them, ok? Don't let them feel lonely or sad... don't let them do stupid, reckless things, stay by their side, even if they hurt you." she whispered so softly, Donghyuck doesn't think he wants to hear the rest, "Taewoo's not perfect, I know that. But I need him. We have a very stable life with him, everything we ever wanted was because of him. It's not ideal, I know... but its the best I can do. Just... a few more years."

She doesn't deserve this. Donghyuck thinks his mother deserves so much better.

There are so many men out there who could provide just as much to her than Taewoo could, if not more. That, as well as the right love and respect that she deserves.

He knows his mother means well and he will always be grateful to have such an amazing woman as his mother, but right now, Donghyuck wished he could sit his mother down and pull out a powerpoint presentation on 'what to look for in a partner'.

Then again, Donghyuck also managed to see from his mother's point of view. Her words were considerate and immensely generous on behalf of Taewoo and he couldn't help but applaud her tolerance and bravery for putting up with such a guy.

He didn't want to - but Donghyuck couldn't help but think about _him_.

He promised himself that he wouldn't do it, he wouldn't think about Mark the entire time he was here. He needed to give his heart and mind a break, he needed to stop being so over-consumed by his feelings and relax for once. But after hearing his mother's words, it only made him want Mark even more.

It had barely been a day and Donghyuck already missed Mark.

Mark, who hurts him. 

Mark, who does stupid, reckless things.

Mark, who isn't perfect, but really is at the same time.

It's almost as if it was Donghyuck's responsibility to accept Mark for who he was and love him either way. Even though he wasn't entirely sure that that was what his mother felt for Taewoo (since he was pretty certain such a relationship was more business-induced than anything), Donghyuck couldn't help but think that his feelings for Mark were too strong for them to be anything else.

Donghyuck knew that he'll stay by Mark's side no matter what, regardless of the kind of relationship they may have.

Because, even if he doesn't say it, Donghyuck knows that Mark needs him. 

They've both got too much pride to ever admit such a thing, of course. 

But that's ok.

He's ok with that.

Mark doesn't necessarily _care_ or anything.

There's no particular reason as to why he finds it slightly _unusual_ that it's been twenty-six hours, thirty-two minutes, forty-nine seconds (and counting) since Donghyuck last texted him.

Not that he'd been keeping track, he has much more important things to do than constantly check his messages in case the younger sent him a death threat of a sort.

The lack of said death threats was almost concerning, actually. Maybe something happened? Donghyuck never forgot to text him threatening messages before, so why would he suddenly forget now?

Again, he doesn't care. He only finds it mildly concerning and could argue that he has every right to do so. There's no other reason.

He has no other intentions.

If he decides that he'll text Donghyuck first, his only reasoning behind it is that he needs to know the vice president of the student council is actually alive to do the piles of work needed to be done once winter break ends.

Yes.

That is the only reason.

**me:**  
are you dead or smth?

 **annoying brat:**  
why tf are you texting me?

 **me:**  
have i suddenly been banned from texting?

 **annoying brat:**  
don't fucking answer me with another question asshole.

 **me:**  
you didn't answer my fucking question in the first place  
you little shit.

 **annoying brat:**  
that's bc i don't want to talk to you ??  
i thought i made that quite clear.

 **me:**  
damn.  
i literally asked if you were alive or not  
i don't need a life story.

 **annoying brat:**  
if i wasn't alive, i wouldn't be texting you  
omg ur actually a dumbfuck  
how are you president of the student council?

 **me:**  
right. good to know  
well, as long as ur still alive... i won't need to worry abt the pile of work that needs completing for the new term.

 **annoying brat:**  
was that it?  
was that seriously the only reason why you texted me?

 **me:**  
why else would i need to text you?

 **annoying brat:**  
who knows?  
maybe you're actually... idk... CONCERNED ABOUT MY WELL BEING ??

 **me:**  
whenever you're around, it's my own wellbeing that i need to be concerned about.

 **annoying brat:**  
well i'm going thru shit rn so go back to being a narcissistic asshole since you're only concerned abt yourself.

 **me:**  
will do.  
_[read 19:58]_

Mark read over the messages again while waiting for a response from the latter. But, after a good few minutes of waiting, he didn't get anything. No insult. No snarly remark. No wishes for him to die.

Nothing.

Donghyuck was an overall confusing person and Mark really didn't understand how people had enough time and patience to actually put up with him.

He could tell that something was going on in Donghyuck's life right now, which he honestly couldn't care less about. But a part of him was greatly annoyed that Donghyuck deemed that it was suddenly ok to get angry at other people for no reason.

If you're angry, don't drag people along with that anger.

Mark could only shake his head with a disbelieving sigh as he switched tabs on his phone, wondering if some of his friends were free to go out, completely forgetting about his previous thoughts as a whole.

Donghyuck had been in a sour mood all evening.

He kept pushing the pieces of vegetables around on his plate with his fork mindlessly, his eyes too busy glaring holes into Taewoo's skull.

Currently, he, his mother and the asshole Taewoo himself were having dinner together since Donghyuck's mother wanted the two boys to get to know each other better.

Donghyuck would rather die than initiate a conversation with him.

After knowing of Taewoo's existence for over a year now, he's perfectly content with disassociating himself with Taewoo as much as possible. 

There was no way on earth Donghyuck would accept a man like him as some sort of parental-figure or someone to start getting used to. He refused it. He refused anything that could suggest his mother was going to seal the deal with this man in the end.

He's not going to let it happen and that's final.

Taewoo only brought toxicity into this home and didn't belong here at all. Donghyuck just wished his mother would see that instead of being blinded with what Taewoo could provide instead of noticing how his true character was.

Donghyuck wasn't blind. He could see perfectly well what Taewoo was really like. The way he trails his eyes over his mother like she's a piece of meat. The way he holds her in inappropriate places without asking for permission. The way he treats her more like a servant than a partner, ordering her to get food or bring him a drink without even saying _please_.

Donghyuck didn't care about the kind of stability Taewoo supposedly brought to his family of him and his mother, or how much money he had, or how streak-free his track record was, or how important he is in whatever bullshit business he worked with. How could he care about such things when his mother was being so blatantly blinded by it all?!

"Actually, I have some exciting news!" Donghyuck whipped his head up when he heard his mother clap enthusiastically to get his attention.

"What is it, mom?" Donghyuck questioned, slightly relieved to see how genuinely happy his mother looked in that moment.

He watched as his mother took his hand and held it tightly in her own before grinning so widely, Donghyuck worried for her cheeks.

"We're moving to Seoul!" she stated, her words soon accompanied with jazz hands.

" _We_?" Donghyuck repeated. He didn't have time to be astonished by the news when a sickening feeling started building up in his stomach.

"Yes. Taewoo and I, we're moving to Seoul." she smiled, and Taewoo simply took her free hand into his. Donghyuck gritted his teeth at the action, "I already bought a house there, but then Taewoo and I started talking and we thought that it would be nice if we all lived together. I want you with me, Hyuckie~"

Donghyuck couldn't believe what he was hearing. His mother was moving to Seoul. She wanted to move closer to him. Amazing! Great! Absolutely fantastic!

So _why_?

Why did Taewoo have to ruin it like that?!

Why did Taewoo have to involve himself with every aspect of their lives? Why couldn't he just get lost? Why couldn't he understand that he wasn't wanted nor needed.

Donghyuck doesn't want him nor need him.

"NO!" he slammed his hands on the table and stood up so abruptly, his chair pushed back and hit the wall behind him, startling his mother and earning a questioning look from Taewoo.

"Hyuck, sweetie, what's the matter?" his mother asked cautiously, "Do you not want us to move?"

"Oh, I want _you_ to move." Donghyuck nodded at his mother, before slowly shifting his gaze to look at Taewoo, "But not _him_."

"Donghyuck! How rude of you!" his mother gasped in shock, but all Donghyuck could see was the way Taewoo raised brow judgingly, as if he was provoking the younger boy to say something more. To say or do something that would get him into trouble.

Donghyuck huffed in annoyance, not being able to bear the sight of Taewoo any longer, he rushed out of the dining room, ignoring his mother's call and heading straight for his room before collapsing on his bed.

How could his mother just do that to him?! How could she do that to _herself_? She's been with Taewoo for a year and they're already moving in together? That asshole has already made himself at home?!

Donghyuck couldn't stand it. This house meant everything to him. A place where he spent majority of his teenagerhood... with his father.

And now his mother was willing to move into a new house... with someone as horrible as him?

This- this is utter madness! There was no sense behind any of it.

A knock on the door pulled Donghyuck out of his thoughts, forcing the tanned boy to shift his gaze over to his door. He assumed it was his mother. Admittedly, he felt bad for causing a scene, but he couldn't help it. He didn't expect his visit back home to turn out like this at all.

"Come in." he mumbled, loud enough for his mother to hear.

Only, when the door opened, Donghyuck looked up to see that it wasn't his mother who walked in.

"You ok there, man?" Taewoo tried to ask him in a casual way, but Donghyuck could hear something _else_ in his voice. Taewoo didn't care. He wasn't a single bit concerned with whether he was ok or not. Taewoo himself probably knew that Donghyuck didn't even need to answer such a question... it was quite obvious he was not ok.

"You're stupid to think that she'll stay with you." Donghyuck spat, watching with screwed eyes when Taewoo sauntered around his bedroom aimlessly, picking up random objects from his shelves and looking closer at the photos hung up on his wall.

"I get why you're being so hostile with me, I really do. I didn't mean to hit her. It was impulsive and I was drunk." Taewoo confessed, "Your mother even talked to me about it and I looked into counselling, to give up alcohol once and for all and go sober."

Donghyuck didn't bother to hold in his scoff. Going sober? Ha! As if he could do that. Taewoo may be successful, but he wasn't smart enough to know that in order to go sober, you need to actually _stop_ drinking.

His mother meant the world to him. They relied on each other, they needed each other. Donghyuck wasn't going to let some asshole walk into their lives and claim that he has every quality to be a perfect dad. Taewoo was far from that and his mother deserved more. 

She deserved so much more.

Donghyuck slid off his bed and slowly made his way to the other side of the room where Taewoo was. He stood as tall as he could in front of the older man and took one proper good look of his face. 

Yeah. His mother could do way better.

"A single hair," Donghyuck let out a shaky breath, fists clenching tightly, he was so angry and frustrated by everything that he couldn't help the build up of emotion he could feel stinging his eyes, "if you harm a single hair on my mother's head, I wouldn't worry about the police if I were you."

"Are you threatening me, boy?" Taewoo seethed, scowling angrily, clearly surprised to hear such words from the latter.

Donghyuck didn't care if Taewoo wasn't used to someone talking to him in such a way. He didn't care if Taewoo only demanded respect. Respect was the last thing he was going to get from Donghyuck and that was for sure.

"Oh good. you're not as dumb as I thought you were." Donghyuck smiled, words dripping in sarcasm, "What a relief."

No matter what, even if he's not there... Donghyuck will protect his family with everything he has.

He pushed past Taewoo, purposely shoving the older man harshly and made his way out of his room to go comfort his mother.

He wasn't going to accept Taewoo and he needed to let his mother know that. She needed to know that there are so many better people out there in the world who would love to cherish her and pamper her in the way she deserves.

Taewoo doesn't deserve her at all.

And he wanted to make that very clear.

Love is stupid.

Love is so, so stupid and useless and just a big nuisance.

Because, when Donghyuck has his mother crying in his arms as he tries to console her about the decisions she's making, he realises that he's just one, big hypocrite after all.

Love is so overrated.

Donghyuck doesn't want it.

He doesn't need it.

It's so toxic and poisonous and he would be so much better off without it. He could stand up for himself perfectly fine. He's not the problem. He didn't do anything wrong.

Love is just a waste of time.

And when he thinks about how his relationship with Mark was going basically no where and he was only getting hurt more and more by the day, Donghyuck started to wonder about what he really wanted, when he already had everything he _needed_.

He shouldn't need anything else. He only wanted to focus on protecting his family and keeping them as close as possible.

What else could he possibly want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh... sorry... this chapter was a little intense hehe~  
> i hope you guys were able to follow with the switch up between hyuck's and mark's perspectives... ik it can get a little confusing... sorry about that :'((
> 
> and again, sorry for the late update! i was really busy with school work! also... the recent chapters i've been writing in my drafts are a little longer than expected, so i spent more time than usual on them. but don't worry! i won't make you guys wait as long as i made you wait till now (hopefully)! thank you guys so much for sticking with this!! the amount of support is actually so insane... i really can't even describe!! thank you so much!!
> 
> OK! OKOKOKOKOKKOKOKOKOKKKK!! WOW! RESONANCE!! I wanted to talk about this on monday when it was released.... but i really did have no time to post, so i'll talk about it now!! the album is actual fire!! as an ult nct stan... i really can't rank their albums, every single album in the entire nct franchise is just ooof *chef's kiss* make a wish is the sexiest THING on the planet and oh mY GOD SHOTARO I'M IN LOOOVEEEEE~~ also jaemin needs to stop... like wow... a mAN-  
> also... make a wish english version got me feeling some type of way~~ idk i just love nct's english songs... they're such hoe anthems and i literally live and stan for that. no one doing it like nct. period.
> 
> as i said, the entire album is absolutely glorious!! i can't pick between deja vu, nectar and music,dance!! and also from home, dancing in the rain and faded in my last song!! light bulb is GORGEOUS and omFUCK VOLCANO BEING A BOSS REMIX SONG IS SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSO SEXY FUUCCKKKKKK. and then comes in fCUKIGN MISFIT LIKE THE LEGENDS SONG THAT IT ISSSSSS !! and even tho the interlude: past to present isn't actually a song-song... ITS SO FREAKING GOOD?!?! HOW DOES NCT DO IT?!?!?! how does one pick just a single song?!?! it's like choosing a bias in nct!!  
> and i'm so proud of nct as well :')) as a stan since sm rookies, i've seen the development of nct throughout the years and they literally went from 100k views to 23 million views in only 24 hours!! that's actually insane!! and the last time i checked.... the mv is at 45M!! what?!?! wbk... make a wish soty!! i'm just so proud of nct and so proud to be an nctzen!! i really hope they've seen their achivements and that they're proud of themselves as well!! <33
> 
> also!! the first episode of nct world 2.0 was released today!! i watched it during my online class (btw i totally got busted for not paying attention today.... sad times :')))) BUT IT WAS SO GOOD!! all their reactions were so cute i cri- the way yangyang has everyone whipped for him... not just wayv... i get it. yangyang is babie no matter how many times he denies it~  
> i can't wait for the next episode!! renjunnie was so cute today~~ and shotaro dancing to nct songs like the tiktok king he is!!! he's so good !!! omg-
> 
> also!! next episode's teaser had mark's mission in and hyuckie was standing so close to him!! and hyuck basically said that he and mark are soulmates in the latest episode of sun and moon!! kinda markhyuck crumbs BUT I LOVE IT ANYWAY BC MY OTP <33
> 
> shotaro and sungchan are also doing so well~ i really love that they're kind of awkward... but really cute at the same time and i know they're gonna fit in really well!! 
> 
> anyway! chapters are going to continue with this sort of intensity and randomness! i hope that this slightly longer chapter makes up for the fact that i've been really shit with my updating hahaha... but seriously!! thank you guys so much for your lovely comments and support!! it means the world to me and i really can't wait for you guys to see the future of this fic!! 
> 
> thank you so so much!!!
> 
> ~Risa <3
> 
> (i shall go reply to comments now hehehhe~)


	27. twenty five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lnwedahsloinalo thank you so much for 9k hits!! you guys are so lovely... i really don't deserve it :'((
> 
> i usually say this before certain chapters, and this is one of those certain chapters (again)... idk why... but i kinda don't like this chapter and, at this point, you can probably see the pattern in the chapters i don't particularly like... welp :/
> 
> anyway! i hope you enjoy this chapter... :')

Mark had been perfectly content all morning. All up until he went downstairs and was greeted with the sight of both his parents staring him down expectantly.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, brow raised in confusion as to why his mother and father were looking at him like that.

His mother patted a chair, gesturing for Mark to sit down at the dining table where they usually had their breakfast in the early mornings.

"Ok so, it happens every year when the new year starts..." his father kicked off vaguely, trying to move his eyes around obviously, which Mark did not pick up on at all. "and the annual Winter Gala is coming up next week-"

"Absolutely not." Mark denied quickly, already knowing where this conversation was leading to. He was about to get up and decide to skip breakfast and head straight to school, but a firm grip on his arm pulled him back down. "What _noooowwwww_??" he cried out and missed the way his parents looked at him in surprise from his reaction.

"Mark, you know you have to attend, there's no getting out of this one." his mother gave him a sympathetic look, "We're a hi-"

"-a high class family with a respected status within our community and we're expected to attend such events because the governors have personally invited us." Mark cut her off, "I know."

He watched as his parents exchanged a glance before looking back at him. Honestly, Mark was getting tired of all this meaningless, high-status character he had to put on whenever his parents made him attend fancy conferences and gatherings like these.

"It's to celebrate the founding of our city!" his father tried to appease the invitation, knowing well that Mark wouldn't buy it either way, "It's a great privilege to attend!"

Mark simply gave them a deadpanned look, completely unimpressed with the way they were trying to sell the invitation out to him. For people in business, they weren't doing a very good job at persuading him. Seriously, needing both of them to try and persuade him for something as small as this was almost sad.

"Whatever, I don't have much of a say in this, so why even bother asking?" Mark questioned, wanting to leave it at that since they already got his answer. He had bigger problems to worry about, like his basketball tournament tomorrow.

"Great! You're very good, Mark." his mother patted his head fondly, "Make sure to find a date to bring."

"Yeah o- wait WHAT?!" Mark almost stumbled over the leg of his chair from how abruptly he whipped his neck to look back at his parents with an incredulous stare. "I have to do _what_?!"

"The last two years you went, you just stood at the side on your phone!" his mother reminded, "While everyone's dancing and socialising, you make it very obvious that you don't want to be there and I did not raise a son who's so blatantly rude in front of so many people! I did not raise a rude son full stop, actually."

Mark resisted the urge to groan in annoyance, not understanding why such an issue had suddenly become something so big. His parents were honestly so dramatic and pretentious about everything.

"What exactly are you asking me to do, mom?" he asked, simply wanting his parents to get to the point and tell him.

"Get a date. Simple." his mother stated, as if the statement itself was easier said than done, "I don't want you loitering around in the corner when you're meant to be representing our family and looking good in front of the governors."

"But mom, I don't-" Mark was about to argue, not seeing any sense in his parents' request.

"It's not up for discussion, Mark." his father interrupts him, "Just do as your mother says and find a nice date to bring."

"We'll ask you at the end of the week and if you don't have someone to bring, I have a few colleagues at work who are also coming with kids your age, I'm sure I can set you up?" Mark could see the glint in his mother's eye. She knew that Mark would rather _not_ go with some random person when he was perfectly capable of choosing someone himself.

Either that, or Mark felt like his parents were purposely trying to set him up because this felt more like some arranged marriage shit that he didn't understand why he had to be involved in. 

"Fine! Whatever." Mark grumbled, grabbing his bag and trudging towards the door, deciding to skip breakfast since he was already falling behind schedule and would only be even more late if he didn't leave that very second.

It wasn't a big deal.

He could just ask some random girl to be his date. He had plenty waiting for him outside the student council room, outside his classrooms, outside the basketball courts. They were everywhere and all Mark had to do was simply pick one.

Still, the rational part of his brain, as well as from his previous experiences, told him that attending a fancy as fuck gala with some girl he didn't know, never mind like, for an entire evening as well as being forced to socialise with others... yeah, that didn't sound very appealing to him.

Maybe he could just invite one of his friends?

No... that would be awkward as fuck. One, because they're his friends and Mark could practically feel the bile rise in his throat at the idea of him having to slow dance with one of them. Two, Lucas is already busy trying to win over Renjun and Mark's pretty certain there's something going on between Xiaojun and Hendery (that he has to grill them about later). So he'd rather not try to intervene.

With his friends out of the picture, Mark knew that he had no other choice. He was just going to have to ask some random girl who was willing to go with him. Or maybe even a guy if he found there to be no suitable girls to take.

Or, he could just guilt-trip his parents into letting him go alone, or not letting him go at all.

That was a more favourable option.

"President!!" a loud voice accompanied with the door bursting open startled Mark out of his thoughts.

Mark turned around and without another thought, he smacked the other person in the head, already knowing well who it was.

"I've told you so many fucking times to keep your voice down but you never listen!" he yelled, gritting his teeth at the way Donghyuck pouted and rubbed his head where he was hit.

"We just came back from winter break and this is the first thing you say to me?" Donghyuck frowned.

"Don't talk as if you didn't completely crash our new years party two weeks ago." Mark argued, crossing his arms as they both lingered outside the student council room. He thought back to when his hyungs were in town and they insisted for Donghyuck to come celebrate new years with them before they went back. That included bringing his own friends over as well, which Mark did not appreciate in the slightest.

"Who am I to turn down an offer from Johnny hyung?" Donghyuck shrugged carelessly as he slipped into the student council room with Mark trailing closely behind.

"Look at you thinking so highly of yourself." Mark sneered, "And what did your texts mean the last time we texted? You brat, you fucking left me on read!"

"I had business." Donghyuck mumbled, crossing his arms, unable to meet the older's gaze.

"What? Did your family decide they don't want you anymore?" Mark teased, creeping around the younger with a mocking grin, "They saw your face and wondered why they even had a child like you in the first place, huh?"

Mark would've pressed on, but he caught the way Donghyuck's face visibly darkened. The usual brightness of his features dimming down like one would do manually to their phone screen - slowly and gradually.

He didn't know why, but Mark felt bad, on the verge of wishing he could take back the past few seconds and not have said what he just said, completely oblivious to the reaction it would bring about from the younger.

An apology of a sort, some words configured into a way of saying sorry formed on the tip of his tongue, but as always, nothing came out. He could never say the right words. He could never figure out how to be genuine around Donghyuck and his utter confusion left him so annoyed and angry that he couldn't help but say all the wrong things.

"What's with that face?" he regrettably started again, "Did I get it right? Woah... they really don't want you? Can't say I didn't see it coming." his laughs came out more forced than planned and his entire comment suddenly felt like poison dripping from his lips.

He _winced_.

Mark felt his body fill up with something similar to dread when he saw how painfully sad Donghyuck looked. Something really must've happened, but Mark couldn't find the right words to use to console him, to provide him some sort of comfort, to stop him from frowning like _that_.

Like the world was going to end tomorrow, like the sun was no longer going to appear in the sky, that the only thing around them was darkness.

When Donghyuck didn't smile, it really did feel like the end of it all and Mark hated himself for over-exaggerating. 

The door opened suddenly and the rest of the student council members filed in, shooting both Mark and Donghyuck confused looks when they noticed how the president and vice were just standing there, looking at each other in silence.

That's it. Their moment gone.

Whatever thoughts Mark had in his head completely vanished. He moved over to his desk and grabbed the notes for the meeting, noticing how Donghyuck moved to do the same from the corner of his eye.

Donghyuck didn't look happy.

But Mark couldn't bring himself to care.

At the back of his mind, Mark knew he had to do something. What that something was, he doesn't exactly know.

Lately, he's been forgetful and it's gotten to the point where it should be concerning.

Mark never forgets anything. He keeps all his possessions to himself and never lets them out of his sight. But, recently, he's been thinking, just a lot of undirected, unforced, unwilled _thinking_.

All the thinking he's been doing is seriously distracting him from his normal routine, and when things mess with his routine, Mark gets pissed. He likes order, likes things to be done when it should be done and the way it should be done in. Nothing should change. If something has a start, it must have an end. When Mark starts things, he expects to end them on the same note, on a high or on a low, it didn't matter, everything just had to be the same.

So, one could say that the recent development of his brain which caused him to become more forgetful, was messing with him in more ways than one. He knew he had to do something important, something his parents must've told him to do at some point. There must also be a deadline for when he has to complete this unknown task by... but he just couldn't put a finger on it.

"Ya! Mark!" a loud voice snapped him out of his thoughts, "We can't have our captain dozing off before a tournament!"

Mark shook his head and turned to his right, only just realising that Lucas was talking to him.

"Huh?" was all Mark managed to utter out, albeit a little dumbly and so far off his usual adequate tone.

"You good, man?" Lucas looked at him in concern, knowing well that his best friend wasn't the type to just be 'out of it'. There must be something on his mind.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good." Mark assured, pulling himself back and forcing himself to take in his surroundings.

He was at basketball. On the courts. Getting ready for a tournament away from school. His teammates are waiting for him. They're waiting for their captain to tell them what to do and make sure everything's going to plan. Everything's on schedule.

Just like how a routine should go.

Without another thought, he put on his figurative basketball team captain's hat and walked over to where his teammates were huddled, awaiting their captain's pep-talk. Mark walked and talked with authority and everyone knew it, everyone could see it.

Mark could feel it within himself as well. When he was on the courts, there was nothing else on his mind. How could he possibly think about anything else when the court was right there? 

The only thing Mark thought he could possibly be forgetting was the fact that he had a team to prep and a tournament to win.

That was it.

Donghyuck didn't know why he was doing this to himself. He shouldn't be putting so much effort into dragging himself over to Mark's house every so often, only to get mistreated and hurt and humiliated time and time again. Their relationship hadn't changed one bit and he didn't know how long he could keep this up. How many times could Donghyuck keep running to Mark and expecting some sort of reaction from him. A sign of any sort that maybe, just _maybe_... Mark might feel something towards him. _Anything_.

As soon as he knocks on the door, waits a few moments until it opens, and is greeted with the sight of Mark's mother giving him a confused look; Donghyuck couldn't be bothered to ask himself any more questions.

"Mark's not here?" Mark's mother explained with a questioning eyebrow raise, "He's at a basketball tournament in Busan. He won't be back until this Thursday evening."

Oh. Donghyuck didn't know that. Judging by her tone, she probably expected Mark to have told everyone he needed to tell. Everyone probably knew anyway.

Donghyuck was never told. Mark didn't tell him anything. He just left without saying a single word, as if there was no need, no requirement to inform Donghyuck of the small detail.

"Oh yeah! Oh... silly me! I completely forgot about that. We were meant to work on a project together but he told me that we had to rearrange the time because of his tournament. I can't believe I forgot... damnit!" Donghyuck laughed nervously, smacking his own head for added emphasis. "Sorry to bother you, I'll get going now."

"Do you want me to give him any work or leave a message for him?" she enquired, probably not fooled even in the slightest. 

"N-nope! I'll just text him... yeah... haha... bye now!" Donghyuck quickly rushed down the walkway and towards the gate. Once he was out of her sight, he frowned and cursed himself.

Couldn't Mark at least tell him that he was going so they couldn't meet up as arranged? That would be really fucking helpful.

The sheer audacity of Mark Lee. He thinks he's all high and mighty. He thinks he has all the power in the world. That he can just come and go whenever he pleased and not worry about who was waiting for him or whoever needed to see him. 

Donghyuck didn't even want to imagine how Mark would behave in the world of work. Although Mark had everything, all check-boxes ticked, all requirements to become a successful businessman, he couldn't begin to think how horrible of a work partner Mark would be. Especially with that attitude of his.

If he wasn't in love with Mark, Donghyuck would happily take up the opportunity to beat some respect into Mark's thick skull, because the older didn't know a fucking thing about being nice and considerate to others. He couldn't even tell people that he was out of town - how unreliable!

With an annoyed huff, Donghyuck trudged over to his dorm room, wanting to forget about Mark's existence as a whole for a few measly hours.

Mark was simply minding his own business, not having a care in the world. They had bagged another victory and the entire basketball team, even their coach, was ready to celebrate all weekend long. Mark knew he was only going to participate in some of the celebrations, wanting nothing more than to go back home and crash head-first in bed.

He pulled off his shirt and made a move to grab a hoodie from his duffel bag, wanting to get changed quickly so they could all get back on the bus and drive back.

"Woah, Mark!" Lucas called out to him, "What happened to you? You look like you got mauled by a bear or something!" he motioned to the long, red, barely-fading scratch marks lining the captain's back.

Mark threw a single look over his shoulder, noticing how the scratch lines went up to as far as his neck, all the way down his spine. He was surprised they were still visible, expecting them to have completely faded by now. Either that or usually, Mark would be more careful around others. He didn't want people interfering with his business and would much rather keep private things private.

"Looks like somebody got it on good." one of his teammates snickered, earning a chorus of wolf-whistles and teasing remarks.

But, for some reason, he doesn't entirely mind this time. A vivid memory of a couple of days ago when he had a golden-skin boy trapped underneath him, sending him into peaks of ecstasy like he was born to do just that. Donghyuck meant nothing to him, but the way the latter clawed at his skin was enough to send Mark over the edge a few times, just by the thought alone. 

Unknowing to them all, Mark smiled, a pleased smirk forming on his lips.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if Donghyuck was at his house, waiting by the door, expecting him to be there for their usual meet-ups.

With how needy and eager Donghyuck usually is, Mark assumed the latter definitely dropped by.

He could say how pathetic it was all he wanted, but even Mark knew that the thought of Donghyuck still going to see him, would never be pathetic. In fact, his thoughts wired off again.

Donghyuck was needy, and Mark loved it.

Mark didn't expect anyone to be there to greet him when he got home, so you could say he was pleasantly surprised to see his mother arranging the dining table for what he presumed to be dinner.

"Hey, Mark-ah, how was the tournament?" she started, while Mark's father came in with some plated in his hands.

"Uhh good? We won." Mark answered simply.

This wasn't normal. Both his parents were home and it looked as if they were about to have dinner together. Don't get him wrong, Mark would love to have dinner with his parents, but something's definitely up.

"So!" his mother started off once they all sat down, "Have you asked someone yet?"

"Asked someone what?" Mark enquired, completely confused.

"To the gala! Mark! We already discussed this." she complained.

Mark took a few moments to process her words before it hit him. Ahhh... so that's what he was forgetting. Mark knew there was something he needed to do, but the general unimportance and disinterest towards the entire subject caused him to forget about the matter entirely and pretend it didn't exist.

He vaguely remembered considering some people to ask, but as soon as he got to the part where he approached them, he instantly backed down, deciding against the idea of spending an entire night with someone he barely knew and being forced to interact with them.

Mark really didn't want to go.

"You haven't found a date, have you?" his mother started again, looking at him with a judgemental and completely unimpressed glare when Mark shrugged carelessly. "You should just ask him."

"Ask who?" Mark was genuinely slowly losing interest in the entire conversation.

"You know..." she prompted, "I don't know why you're hesitating to ask him. It's not like he'll say no."

"Who are you even talking about, mom?" Mark asked again, getting annoyed with how restrictive his mother was being with her words.

"For gods sake, Mark! How oblivious could you possibly be?!" she yelled, and Mark had absolutely no idea why she was getting so worked up about his, "You could easily ask Donghyuck, he's such a sweet, lovely boy!"

" _Donghyuck_?!" Mark almost spat out, "W-what- why are you even bringing him up?!" in the corner of his eye, Mark could see the way his father tuned out of the conversation, deciding it was safer that he with-held his input. How unhelpful.

"Don't be so stubborn, Mark." his mother started off again, "Donghyuckie's a cute boy, he's nice and charming and he likes you. You should just invite him as your date and treat him nicely for once. You're always so rude to him."

"Firstly, mother, Donghyuck is a brat who doesn't deserve my kindness." Mark sneered, "And secondly, Donghyuck doesn't like me. We have a mutual hatred going on between us. There's no way I'm asking him. I'd rather go to the gala with a dog."

"I don't know what's made you like this..." she sighed heavily, pushing away her plate in a sign of rejection, as if she just lost her appetite. "I didn't expect you to be so cold towards him when you're nice to everyone else. This doesn't make a good student council president, Mark."

"Seriously mom, it's not a big deal. We just don't like each other and that's it. There's not much to it." Mark shrugged, wondering how Donghyuck managed to win over every person he met after the first introduction, because his mother was talking way too fondly about a person who Mark eagerly detested.

"How could you say that? Of course Donghyuck likes you! And I'm pretty sure you like him as well." she assured in all seriousness, "Is that why you haven't asked him to be your date yet? You've never been scared to confess to someone before. You must really like him."

Mark's jaw dropped open and all he could do was gape at his mother in disbelief. The information he was hearing right now just wouldn't process in his brain, as if all the words were being spoken to him in a completely different language. He knows his mother is a very observant and intelligent person, but Mark thinks she must've lost her mind.

There's no way. Not in a million years.

Mark would never like Donghyuck.

And Donghyuck would never, ever like him.

"Oh well. Do what you want, Mark." she brushed off the conversation entirely, "The week's almost over and I just need you to find someone to take."

Mark was about to say something, but then he realised he had nothing to say. There was no point in trying to object, or trying to deny whatever thoughts she had in her head.

His mother was talking as if she expected Mark to ask Donghyuck. As if he had initially planned to ask him all along and that he was too scared to.

Mark wasn't scared.

Why would he be scared to ask someone like Lee Donghyuck to a high-class, exclusive event where people of big names attend and socialise? It wasn't even a big deal.

Actually, Mark was more annoyed that now, Donghyuck was on his mind. He was annoyed that lately, Donghyuck always ends up in his thoughts somehow, and it's seriously pissing him off. Why was Donghyuck so incorporated with him anyway? Why couldn't they just lead separate lives and never have to cross paths again? All Mark knew was that he didn't care.

He didn't care in the slightest.

He'll finish his food, go to his room and do some work, then sleep the day's problems away.

And maybe... maybe he'll ask Donghyuck to the gala tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEEELLLLL... this was just a little pre-set of what's gonna happen in the next chapter! i think i'll post either on thursday or friday... but the next chapter was that 7k words chapter i ended up writing that i mentioned a few chapters ago... so hopefully it'll make up for how annoying this chapter was.  
> also!! in this chapter, the viewpoints change quite frequently... it was just to iterate how the events within this chapter were happening at around the same time (e.g.: mark's basketball tournament, and hyuck going to mark's house while he's away) - i hope it wasn't too confusing :')
> 
> and, as mentioned... next chapter will be quite intense and a lot goes on... but i wanted to show the development of mark's character now (which is why a lot of it is in mark's perspective at times). i'll explain it more in the notes when i post that chapter... but the chapter is to highlight multiple aspects related to this book and its characters, i.e.: social classes, markhyuck's relationship in public, but off school grounds... and other things!!
> 
> fun fact: based on the recent chapters i've been writing (so like 4 or 5 chapters ahead of this one) - i'm starting to really hate markhyuck's dynamic, and i also hate the fact that i know exactly how i'm bringing it all back in bc it's just so frustrating and i feel bad for putting you guys through this, but at the same time... my initial plan is working hehehehe~
> 
> also! sorry if updates take a while... i just want you guys to know that in majority of my free time, i am working on this fic bc i genuinely like where this is going and i'm really happy to hear others like this as well! hopefully, you guys will like the next chapter, because i actually really liked writing it. heads up! after the whole gala event, there's one more significant event that'll add to your frustration and misery... before something happens!! don't worry... i won't prolong it further hehehe...
> 
> also! also! what happened on new years?? ohohoohohoo~~~ you'll never knoww~~ *excessive winks*
> 
> next few chapters will hopefully clear some more things up! don't give up on this just yet :))
> 
> NOW! IN NEO CITY!!  
> From Home dropped today and I CRIED BUCKETS- i got to see renjun and yuta in the SAME FRAME EFHNDQLOWNISZHLIAHLO and they took a picture together and kun, like the legend that he is, took selcas with all members from the from home unit and he AHNSAONSOA HE JUST SERVES US RIGHT!! and MOON TAEIL IS SUCH A FINE SPECIMEN I CAN'T PQWNIOIANO and oh GOD doyoung- holy fuck. and every time zhong chenle opened his mouth... a tear was shed. from home is such a gorgeous song and i love how it was multilingual and so expressive and self-made at the same time. i thought the entire mv was so aesthetically pleasing, to the point where i had another relapse and realised that really... no one is doing it like nct.
> 
> and sun and moon with the foreign swaggers was so frniqwasooa funny!! the way mark literally collapsed from laughing so hard and yangyang just did NOT know what to do... i died-
> 
> and make a wish is over 60M now!! it's only been a week and i'm still not over it!! how insane is that??! make a wish as well as the resonance album is just doing so well... i couldn't be prouder. i knew that one day, nct will receive lots of fame and recognition!! our boys truly are amazing!! <33
> 
> we also got loads of other videos... like renle teaching 127 chinese (which i never fail to bust a lung from watching), and the second part of the year party behind the scenes!! (which only intensified my love for jaewin even more uwu besties... as well as all the interactions!!! like... haechan getting along with wayv is such a concept!!) and the shotaro and sungchan with jisung and taeil when they learned how to take selcas hnqwloaqioslnaos THEY'RE SO FREAKING ADORBALE  
> ugh idk... a lot goes on in neo city .... i do be loving my boys-
> 
> anyway!! thank you for reading and i really hope you look forward to the next chapter in particular!! hopefully, it will surprise you guys a little hehehhe~
> 
> thank you guys so much for reading and supporting this!!
> 
> (also... i posted a oneshot a few days ago... ik some people who've been reading this book have also read that... thank you so much for your support!! you guys are amazing!!<3)
> 
> (i shall go reply to comments now hehehehe)
> 
> ~Risa <3


	28. twenty six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys will probably dislike hyuck after this :'((
> 
> idk... maybe, maybe not?
> 
> anyway... i hope you like it :') sorry in advance for any grammatical errors :)
> 
> AND THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR 10k+ HITS!!! WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!?? I THOUGHT MY ACCOUNT WAS BROKEN OR SMTH-

Mark wasn't _nervous_ , per se.

More like, this was completely out of his comfort zone and he didn't entirely understand why he ended up in this predicament in the first place.

The universe must've been against him or some shit like that. Maybe he did something wrong in his previous life to deserve this kind of suffering that he was currently being forced to endure.

Ok, maybe he was exaggerating a little. He was peacefully sitting at his desk on a bearably cold Friday morning with the start of February nearing, minding his own business and doing his own work.

Adjacent to him, tucked in a warm corner of the student council room was Lee _Donghyuck_ , his arch _nemesis_ , his rival for life, his complete opposite despite their painfully obvious similarities.

Donghyuck was also minding his own business, while simultaneously drowning himself in his over-sized hoodie that seemed to act as more of a blanket than an article of clothing. His brunette curls fell over his forehead messily, borderline of needing to be fixed or just kept in its messiness for a little longer.

Mark had talked himself into asking Donghyuck to the (stupid) Winter Gala coming up in a few days, a while ago. His parents, his mother more specifically, kept pressing him to ask someone, _anyone_ , and Mark had already heard his mother's opinion on asking a specific someone instead. Hence, Mark's current dilemma.

_Why?_

Why Donghyuck?

Actually, Mark knew exactly why. To him, Donghyuck was an easy person to ask. Donghyuck would give him whatever he needed. Donghyuck would agree to anything without another thought. Donghyuck would listen to his instructions and follow them wordlessly.

Donghyuck could never say _no_.

A part of Mark thought that he might've been control-crazy himself. He liked the fact that Donghyuck couldn't say no to him. It was a weird thing to think about and it kind of hurt his head every time he did think about it. But Donghyuck would always silently obey and, admittedly, it was kind of a turn on.

Not that that was necessarily important right now.

"Hey, you remember that '24-hour boyfriend/girlfriend' event?" Mark started off casually, sucking up all his pride and honour just to ask Donghyuck this one question.

"Uhh... yeah?" Donghyuck slowly tore his gaze away from his work to look at Mark.

"And you know how I said that if I volunteered to participate, then you'd have to do a favour for me?" 

"I specifically remembering completely rejecting that idea because I had nothing to do with you having to volunteer. I literally told you that a lot of students wanted you to do it. I'm not going to pay a price for that." Donghyuck instantly shot Mark's proposal down before he even had the chance to ask.

Ok. Fair enough. Mark could work around this.

"Listen," Mark started off sternly after a few minutes of re-thinking and planning, directing his words and his attention to Donghyuck, who had went back to focussing on his work. Donghyuck looked up with wide eyes, showing Mark that he was listening, even though he was bordering annoyance from being interrupted so frequently. "You know there's that Winter Gala thing at town hall next week, right?" he decided to cut to the point and lay his invitation out into the open.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that. One of my uncle's was invited, he asked me to come, but there's no way I'd voluntarily go to that pointless event." Donghyuck replied and, for some reason, Mark lost a little bit of hope. "Why do you mention it?"

"... uhhh- actually, I have to attend with my parents and I'm supposed to bring a plus one because it wouldn't look good to go alone." Mark didn't dare to mention that his parents were asking for him to look for a date. He wasn't going to crush his pride hard enough to say that.

It _wasn't_ a date.

"Oohh fancy~" Donghyuck teased, knowing well of Mark's high-class status since his parents were both well-known and respected in the business industry. Of course Mark attended such events. That was such a Mark Lee thing to do.

"Shut it." Mark grumbled and Donghyuck could only laugh at his annoyance, "Anyway... I need to bring someone and all my friends are busy or in relationship for me to have the dignity to ask them, and I'd rather go with someone I know instead of a random person, so... if you're free, would you-"

"Only if you buy me dinner afterwards." Donghyuck interrupted him.

His words were so straight-forward and confident that Mark completely forgot what he was going to say, his own words drying on his tongue and his brain blanking for a few moments.

"Wait... _what_?" Mark questioned, he was expecting Donghyuck to reject the invitation straight away without another thought and that's it. To be honest, a part of him wanted Donghyuck to do just that, because then, maybe, he wouldn't have to worry for the event he had no care or interest for in the first place. He could just go home, tell his parents that Donghyuck rejected him, make them pity him and then miss out on the whole thing in general.

Now, he was kind of pissed Donghyuck agreed to it.

_That little idiot._

"I said that I'll go... only if you buy me dinner afterwards and we can leave whenever we want. Those events are super boring and if I have to sacrifice a perfectly good evening which I could spend watching dramas... I'll need something in return." Donghyuck expressed his terms and conditions and Mark was almost impressed he was able to think of something to weigh out the deal with instead of agreeing like usual.

Donghyuck couldn't say no to him, but he definitely makes one hell of a bargain.

"Ok. Deal." Mark could endure it. It was one night. One night to spend with Donghyuck, doing things they don't usually do in the late hours of the evening when no one's around.

Mark hated change. This entire ordeal is disrupting his routine and he despised it.

But, at the same time, he thought that in order to get his parents off his back, getting dinner for Donghyuck was a reasonably small price to pay.

He could deal with it.

"This is big!" Jaemin practically screamed, "And I mean BIG! Technically, Mark asked you out. Holy fuck... Mark Lee asked you out."

"I wouldn't say that-" Donghyuck tried to appease the younger's words, wanting to lower the latter's enthusiasm in case he got his own hopes up.

But Jaemin was way too excited.

"How could it be anything other than a date?! The Winter Gala is a fancy as fuck event, the freaking governors of the city host it and _personally_ invite people! I didn't know Mark was _that_ well-off." Jaemin exclaimed and Renjun looked as if he was ready to tackle the boy into silence, while Jeno could only shake his head fondly at his boyfriend's antics.

"He's well, _well_ -off. Of course he is! Perfect grades, perfect face, perfect family... what does he not have?" Donghyuck sighed. Chasing after someone like Mark Lee was a tough job.

"A perfect personality?" Renjun inputted in all seriousness, his own expressions deadpanned and unimpressed.

Donghyuck couldn't really deny that. But Mark wasn't too bad. He could be nice, sometimes. Even though such occasions were very rare to see, Donghyuck had witnessed it first hand.

"His personality is something you can worry about later!" Jaemin intervened, jumping up from Donghyuck's bed which he had previously crashed on, and headed towards the latter's wardrobe. "You've got to look good. Like, _good_ good. As in, better than you've ever looked in your life."

"Mark doesn't really care about those kind of things..." Donghyuck hummed, thinking back to winter break when he spent the few days before christmas with Mark, giving him a sort of present that Mark didn't entirely appreciate.

Now that he thought back to it, Donghyuck probably answered too eagerly. He probably should've led Mark on a little bit more and see if the older would continue persisting even after he said no. A part of him felt kind of dumb and naïve, quickly saying yes to whatever Mark wanted without thinking about his own feelings.

And now, it was too late to back out.

"He really could've asked anyone..." Renjun started off, as if he could hear the clogs in Donghyuck's head over-working, "He practically has his own fanbase and I'm pretty certain people would line up to get asked out by him. But he asked you, Hyuck. Out of everyone... he asked _you_."

Mark must have his reasons.

Donghyuck didn't want to generate false hope for himself, only to be shot down. Yes, Mark could've asked anyone, and they would say yes as eagerly and as mindlessly as Donghyuck had done. 

But maybe... Mark meant it?

He's quite observant.

Maybe Mark knows about his feelings? Maybe he's not that oblivious after all? Is this his way of responding? Is he trying to say that he feels the same?

Donghyuck didn't know the answer to any of his questions, just that his mind had been reverberating assumptions and thoughts and theories for the past few days now. It didn't help that every time he tried to focus, he would either think of his mother back home with that stupid boyfriend of hers, or Mark.

Neither of the two were good for his mental wellbeing, in all honesty, and he wondered when he could just _stop_ and think about himself.

A part of Donghyuck wanted to hate the fact that his entire being was so people-orientated. Why was he so dependent on people, when all they did was hurt him?

"What do you think, Hyuck?"

"Huh?" Donghyuck shook the thoughts out of his head and tried paying attention to whatever Jaemin was showing him.

"Hey... you good?" Jaemin asked, his tone soft and mallow, laced with concern. Renjun and Jeno were looking at him wistfully and Donghyuck really wished they wouldn't do that. That they wouldn't look at him like someone who needed to be pitied and sympathised.

He was perfectly fine.

"Of course I am!" he assured, pulling on a bright grin. "What were we talking about again?"

In the corner of his eye, he could see Renjun looking at him sceptically, but he brushed it off, not wanting to worry anyone.

"The Winter Gala? That your crush asked you out to?" Jaemin reminded, as if Donghyuck wasn't previously dreading the thought a while ago.

"Oh yeah..." Donghyuck mused, heading over to his wardrobe, "maybe I should put some effort into looking good."

"Hell yeah you should!" Jaemin chimed in with his train of thoughts, "Mark would be an absolute fool if he doesn't drop dead at the sight of you. Sometimes, in a world like this, you've got to use your beauty as an advantage."

"I guess you've got a point there." Donghyuck forced a chuckle out.

_Beauty._

Donghyuck thought that he could wear expensive garments, style his hair, put a little make up on. He could stand in front of the mirror all day and work on looking presentable.

He could do that easily.

But he wouldn't feel beautiful. 

He wouldn't feel beautiful to the point where he'd almost feel bad that air was breathed into his lungs and his being was given a soul to use for survival.

What was the point in being proclaimed as one of the most desired people in all of Seoul International College, if Donghyuck couldn't get the one that he desired most? How can you truly be the most desirable if there are still people out there who don't see you in a pretty sense? If they don't agree with you being beautiful, or charming, or bright in any way?

To Mark, Donghyuck was probably average at most. There was nothing special about him, there was no need to dress up and look good for him, because Mark wouldn't care.

Donghyuck didn't feel good about himself. He didn't feel good about his appearance or personality and he didn't know how to describe the sinking feeling in his heart every time he thought back to the way Mark looked at him during winter break, that night they spent together.

They spent that night together, but Donghyuck had never felt so distant when he was with Mark. 

Shouldn't this be his last chance? Tonight, shouldn't he make use of this opportunity and confess his feelings once and for all?

Mark should at least know. He doesn't deserve to know, but he needs to anyway.

Mark was cruel and heartless during every exchange they've ever had. Sure, there were times where Donghyuck had witnessed Mark being more human than he had ever been before, and such moments were what Donghyuck was holding onto as the only leverage he had to confess his feelings.

Tonight.

He'll tell Mark.

Finally, he'll get a straight-forward answer.

Mark checked his appearance in the mirror a few more times, wondering if he should change the style of his hair again. 

Not that he had changed it three times already.

Deciding that he didn't care enough, nor did he have enough time to contemplate whether he looked presentable or not, Mark threw his blazer over his shoulder and headed for the door out of his room.

"MARK! WE'RE GOING WITHOUT YOU!" the sound of his mother's voice echoed up the stairs and Mark had to refrain himself from stopping right there and then so his parents would actually leave without him.

As he went downstairs, he could hear strange cooing noises that resembled his mother voice, just strained at a higher pitch.

"Aww... you look so cute, Donghyuckie~" she praised, which instantly caught Mark's attention.

'Donghyuck's already here?' he thought to himself as he carried on with his route down the hallways to the living room he knew his parents were waiting in.

"... so, so cute~ you're such a beautiful boy!" 

Mark could feel his steps picking up in pace and his fists clenching in a mixture of anger and anticipation - two emotions he really did not like feeling at the same time.

He barged through the door and felt the grip on his blazer loosen, threatening the piece of fabric to fall onto the floor if he didn't hold onto it tighter.

His mother was saying something to him, but he couldn't understand what. 

_Oh._

Donghyuck looks... _oh_.

Regrettably, Mark had been gazing long enough for his eyes to connect with Donghyuck, forcing them both into a strange staring contest that neither could decipher the meaning behind.

Mark took everything in. The way his velvet purple suit contrasted with his beige coloured, frilly blouse. The way his brunette curls fell in a more orderly fashion than they usually did over his forehead, bringing them to a kind of neatness Mark had never seen before. Despite their distance, Mark could see the shimmer on the latter' eyelids, and the pink-ish tint on his lips and cheeks. There must have been something in his hair, something in his eyes, because right now... Mark was seeing _stars_.

Suddenly, there was a force pushing him forward, causing Mark to stumble and close the distance that he painfully wanted to keep as he neared Donghyuck. (If he thought hard enough about it, he might have seen his father move behind him - _that traitor_.)

He caught the way Donghyuck's eyes widened, never leaving his own as they stood merely an arms-length apart.

This is weird. This is so strange. They've never been like this before and Mark doesn't understand what's changing now.

Why are _they_ changing?

Even now, Mark should've mustered up something to say, but his insults are taking too long to form in his head, too scared to actually say something in fear of stumbling or stuttering or just completely embarrassing himself in front of someone who he considered his mortal enemy. He couldn't let that happen... he couldn't let Donghyuck win.

"Aww... you guys look so cute together~" 

Mark snapped his head to simply guffaw at his mother. Why were both his parents betraying him like this?

"Can we please go? I just want to get this over and done with." he grumbled, grabbing a coat and a scarf and strutting out the front door without another word.

Donghyuck could only watch the older walk off with a frown on his lips, but he drifted his attention back once he felt a hand pinching his cheeks.

"Don't mind him, Donghyuck-ah." Mark's mother consoled him, as if she could hear the thoughts in his head, "We're really glad that you're here and I'm sure Mark is as well. He's just being stubborn."

"It's ok." Donghyuck assured, pulling a genuine smile, because he truly did respect and appreciate her, "Thank you for inviting me."

"Trust me..." she sighed, "we should be the ones thanking you."

Donghyuck didn't entirely know what to expect when he set foot into the town hall, only to see that its extravagant exterior was easily put to shame with how glamorous and regal the interior looked.

There were draperies hanging from the tall ceiling, which decorated itself with chandeliers that dazzled and sparkled rays of refracted light beams like the laws of physics never worked harder before. Patterns of delicate rainbows paned the cream, marbled floors that led to an open space where guests of high classes mingled and socialised, dressed in expensive suits and gowns fit for the purpose of this evening. 

Just the atmosphere alone made Donghyuck uncomfortable. Such events weren't suited for him in any way and he couldn't understand how Mark had attended similar events before.

That in itself was a problem.

Because, amidst all the people, upon the carpets stained in gold, under the bejewelled chandeliers, in between sparkly dresses and velvety suits, ironed and tailored by the hands of experts, above all the wealth and prosperity of the statuses people within the room held:

Mark stood out the most.

Donghyuck hadn't been able to take his eyes off the older as soon as he set his gaze on him the moment they saw each other.

Mark always looks good, Donghyuck knows that better than anyone. But there's a kind of aura around Mark when he wears suits. Despite his strive to show his confidence, his dominance... his _power_ ; Donghyuck finds that this is one of the rare times he's seen Mark use such qualities in balance - he's not abusing his power and, for once, Donghyuck loved it.

He loved how powerful and handsome and charming Mark looked in front of him. How his hair was gelled back and styled with minimal strands over his forehead. The way his dark, emerald suit contrasted with his own, dark velvet, purple one. 

Especially now, while they're amongst a whole hall full of working people and respected classes, Donghyuck doesn't feel much younger than Mark. They're only a year difference in age, but standing next to Mark now feels more comfortable. As if they've only got each other to talk to since they weren't at the stage of the other guests at this gala. That they'd need to rely on each other now, more than they've ever done before.

Donghyuck had many, _many_ opportunities created for himself to confess his feelings to Mark and get an answer in return. But _this_ was an opportunity at its brightest.

He should at least make the most of it.

"It's the same every year..." he heard Mark mumble beside him.

"There must be _something_ to do." Donghyuck shared the older's opinions in mutual distaste towards the whole event.

It was just a fancy gala for important people to celebrate the founding of their city. What was so special about it?

"This is so old-fashioned." Mark sighed, already seeing off his parents, who ended up being pulled into the crowd by other socialites. "I swear we only use the town hall for this..."

"Lighten up, hyung..." Donghyuck elbowed him playfully, "besides, where there are fancy rich people... there's _drama_."

"You and your drama-seeking drive." Mark shook his head, eyes trailing after the younger, just in case he ended up getting lost, "Clearly, inviting you to this gala was a mistake. I needed some company, not a babysitting job..." he grumbled, refraining himself from face-palming when he saw how Donghyuck switched the labels in front of each dish on the victuals table, rearranging the small cards, written in some mix of French words in all-gold, all-cursive, accompanied by Korean characters for translation underneath.

A truly classic prank, fit for a classic occasion, in Donghyuck's opinion.

"Hey!" Mark gritted, grabbing the latter by his arm and dragging him away before he started mixing up the drinks, "You're going to get me in trouble. Can't you be good for one night?"

"Be good?" Donghyuck smirked, "I can try... but I'm really bad at it."

Mark couldn't believe Donghyuck had the audacity to play around _now_. He had spent too long questioning his life decisions and contemplating whether he should make any changes to his lifestyle in hopes that he wouldn't find himself in any more of these situations, that he didn't see Donghyuck slide past him.

Once he did, Mark frantically looked around, eyes scanning the entire vicinity to spot a mop of brunette hair. 

He caught sight of a velvety-purple suit sliding between a few guests, letting his feet follow after mindlessly. 

It seemed as if Mark was worrying for no reason, because as soon as he reached the bar area, he was willing to drop everything and go home, because Lee Donghyuck has no fucking decency and it's really pissing him off now.

Right in front of him, Donghyuck was standing small in the centre of men towering over him, glasses of champagne in their hands and eyes gleaming with interest. It didn't matter how old they were, whether they were married or not, Donghyuck caught the eyes of many and held the attention of many more. 

It wasn't anything new.

But every time Mark had seen Donghyuck use his charming skills in practise, drawing in attention from all around like he was a bird in a cage surrounded by hungry tigers who wanted to eat him. Every time he saw it, Mark felt sick to his stomach. 

It was a feeling unlike any other and Mark could only wish and pray that such feelings would go away sooner rather than later. Something ugly and painful bubbled in his chest, a kind of fury that made him was to attack everyone who so much as looked in Donghyuck's direction. Ward off all areas around the younger boy to keep strangers from trespassing. A similar kind of anger that Mark had felt a couple of months back, when Donghyuck had found himself being pinned against the wall in an alleyway. It took everything he had, Mark had to control all his inner turmoil, all his rage, every instinct of self-control _not_ to punch those criminals in the face.

He wasn't heroic, nor did he have a particular sense of justice that caused him to go fists-blazing at everyone who had committed crimes, but Mark hated it. 

He absolutely despised it with every fibre of his body when somehow, somewhere, at some time, Donghyuck was in the centre of it.

So you can't blame him. He couldn't think up a specific reason as to why he was marching over to the bar area, wrapping an arm around Donghyuck's waist and pulling him back before one of those snobby, mindless businessmen start offering him drinks. 

Pulling Donghyuck away from those men and their greedy eyes and tainted hands.

"H-hyung, what are you doing?" Donghyuck stared up at Mark with wide eyes when the older led them off to the other side of the hall, excusing themselves past guests as they weaved around the busy floor. 

"I'm beginning to wonder whether you're doing this on purpose or not." Mark could only reply, forcing distance between them once they stopped.

"Do what?" Donghyuck asked, clearly oblivious to the entire situation. So plainly oblivious, Mark thought he was going to lose his mind.

How should he explain to Donghyuck that mingling with strangers has never, literally _never_ been a good idea before and definitely isn't a good idea now? How should he put it simply for Donghyuck's pea-sized brain to actually understand?

"You have no concept of social awareness, do you?" Mark sighed, knowing he shouldn't answer a question with another question, but he needed to formulate a way of saying ' _Donghyuck, you're an idiot_ ' in a more retrievable sense.

"If you're talking about those men I was just with-"

Mark winced at the way Donghyuck addressed them so casually.

"-then you really think lowly of me, hyung." Donghyuck's shoulders sagged in disbelief and hurt, "I'm offended that you think I don't know what I'm doing and that I don't know who I'm talking to. I'm not stupid, nor am I naïve. I can look out for myself."

Mark could beg to differ.

But he doesn't do that. He doesn't differ because he doesn't beg. 

Donghyuck couldn't understand Mark. The older didn't need to care about what he was doing, or whether he was ok. He doesn't need to find him, or check up on him. Donghyuck knew he could cause significantly less trouble if Mark didn't burden his thoughts every few seconds he strayed away from the older. 

In the corner of his eye, he could see a few people dancing; soft, melancholy music serenading the atmosphere and its inhabitants. Those who move slowly, those who move carefully, those who move together - Donghyuck didn't think it would end up like this.

Actually, he underestimated this opportunity.

He knew this was perfect, but now... it was a little _too_ perfect. 

Mark's not entirely impressed with him, nor does he trust him and Donghyuck knew that tonight would only last for so long. He couldn't waste anymore time. Not if he wants to confess his feelings to Mark by the end of it all.

"Let's just go dance." he mumbled in a nonchalant manner, hoping that the older couldn't see how red his cheeks were.

"The fuck?" Mark whisper-yelled in annoyance, "I don't want to dance with y-"

"Shut up. People are watching." Donghyuck glared at him challengingly, not wanting to put up with Mark's bullshit any longer. He just wanted to finish this night on some sort of high, and he wasn't going to let Mark get away that easily. Mark's wary because of him, and Donghyuck needed to do something about it.

Mark looked around, trying to figure out how people actually danced. This entire gala was way too fancy, even for his upper-class status. It definitely wasn't the kind of party he was used to, no matter how many times he attended before.

"Geez... you're useless." Donghyuck shook his head, but before Mark could snap at him, the younger simply took his hand and placed it on his own hips. "Place your hand here and just hold me like this..."

Donghyuck placed his own hand on Mark's shoulder before connecting their free hands and reaching them out to the side. Something similar to deja vu must've struck him, because Donghyuck couldn't help but think back to the time they found themselves locked in school. Donghyuck was scared at that time, they both were... but the feeling of Mark's hand in his was still warm. Just like it was back then.

"Just move with me, don't let me go and don't-" Donghyuck made a grave mistake of looking up. One look, and his eyes instantly locked with Mark's. His heart was beating up into his throat and his entire body started to heat up in such a warm, fuzzy way... he couldn't even describe it, "d-don't... don't look at me."

Donghyuck averted his gaze quickly, worried that if he stared any longer, he'd melt right in Mark's arms. Instead, He rested his head against Mark's shoulder, opting to close his eyes and pray Mark wouldn't resent him or push him away.

He hoped Mark would just hold him close like this. Hold him tightly, protectively, carefully, as if he was made of glass, too fragile to be handled with anything less than care and undivided attention. 

Mark stayed silent the entire time, not voicing out his own thoughts. That in itself scared Donghyuck. He didn't know what Mark was thinking but, at the same time, he assumed it would be safer that way.

They should stay in silence.

It hurts less.

Donghyuck squeezed his eyes tighter. Their feet weren't moving anywhere, just spinning around in the same pattern of squares over and over again and swaying their bodies gently. Letting Mark's scent envelope him and wonder why being in Mark's arms comforted him better than any words ever could. When they move together, it felt as if the world had stopped spinning.

The glides felt weightless, their judgements of each other completely clouded by the melodies of music. It was ironic, it was cliché, enemies shouldn't be holding each other like this. But Donghyuck savoured every moment of it. He'll keep this as a record of their story, store it in a safe in the back of his mind, where all his other memories with Mark are stored in. They're roaming the small space of marble underneath them as if they're trapped in this endless cycle of confliction and confusion. Everything about their words and their actions are so contradictory and confusing. How is this happening?

Why isn't it working?

Why isn't Mark falling in love with him?

Donghyuck didn't think he could do this for much longer. Every muscle, every vein, every cell in his body pulled him towards Mark until the older was holding him in his arms. But what next? What does Mark think about this? How does he feel about this? Why isn't he saying anything? Why isn't Mark pushing him away and expressing his disgust?

How much longer did Donghyuck have to wait?

Mark doesn't know what he's doing.

There was a massive part of him, consuming probably ninety-percent of his judgement, that part of him just wanted to push Donghyuck away and snap at him, yell harsh words, curse at him and call him bad names. 

But, for the first time, Mark decided that the very small part of him, the remaining ten percent, suddenly sounded more appealing than it had ever done before. 

Maybe this time, he'll let it off.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself." Mark turned around at the familiar voice, seeing his mother waltz up to him, her evening gown barely brushing the floor. "I saw you dancing with Donghyuck earlier, it truly did look magical for a second."

"What are you talking about, mom?" Mark refrained himself from rolling his eyes at the thought. As soon as the song finished, Donghyuck excused himself and hadn't returned since. But Mark was too pre-occupied to find him now. Pre-occupied with confusing thoughts that didn't calm his nerves one bit.

"You wouldn't understand, son." she shook her head, an almost disappointed smile on her face. "I'm surprised you invited him, actually. I didn't think you'd actually do it."

"Well, you were borderline threatening me... it's not like I had much of a choice." Mark shrugged.

"That." she pointed at him accusingly, "That's your problem, Minhyung." Mark was so confused right now, but he grew curious to whatever realisation his mother had made, "You've always had a choice. Don't deny it now after you chose _him_."

Her words were triggering, misleading, completely misinterpreted. Mark wouldn't choose Donghyuck. Not when there were plenty others to pick from. People less annoying, less bratty, less self-centred, less attention-seeking, less stupid, less oblivious.

And a whole lot less like someone who dove head-first into a jar full of glitter. 

Donghyuck stared at his phone, eyeing the contact name longingly.

He hadn't called his mother in a couple of days and he was beginning to worry. It didn't help that everything with Mark just wasn't improving and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know who to tell. Even the sudden burst of motivation and determination to confess to Mark, dwindled into a cease of existence, as if his pride couldn't cope with the fact that Mark wouldn't feel the same way.

It's unhealthy to keep problems to yourself. Donghyuck had realised this the hard way because, now, he can't bring himself to tell anyone or asked for help. He shouldn't ask for help. He should know how to deal with it on his own. 

"I hope you're not planning on ditching this gala without telling me." 

Donghyuck snapped his head up at the voice and turned around. He looked at Mark in surprise, not expecting the older to be there, standing a few steps behind him on the stone staircase entrance to the town hall. 

"As if I hadn't been thinking about doing that the entire evening." Donghyuck decided to joke, watching curiously as Mark came down to sit next to him. "What about you? What are you doing here?"

"It was getting boring in there... needed some time out." Mark shrugged carelessly, leaning back on his elbows and not meeting Donghyuck's questioning gaze.

Donghyuck didn't know what to say. They've never lacked in conversation when they were together before, but now it feels different. Should he confess now? Should he tell Mark everything? Was now the perfect opportunity?

"You... uhh..." he started off, "you look very nice, hyung. I didn't mention it earlier... but you really do."

Ok. Good start.

"A compliment from you only comes across as concerning." Mark stated blatantly, and soon, Donghyuck's met with his piercing gaze that held so much wonder and judgement, Donghyuck could feel every nerve in his body spike, "What is it? What's wrong now?"

Donghyuck could laugh at the words. When _hasn't_ something been wrong? Donghyuck doesn't know how to tell Mark that their entire relationship was so, so _wrong_.

"Is it about home?" Mark started off again, catching Donghyuck off-guard, "You looked depressed when you came back from winter break. And you said you had stuff going over text... I assume it has something to do with that."

He wasn't necessarily lying. Part of Donghyuck's current sour state of mind was because he was greatly uncomfortable with the idea of leaving his mother alone with that asshole in their house. He didn't want to worry, nor did he want his mother to worry. But the thought left him on edge more often than he would have liked.

"I'm just worried about my mom, that's all." Donghyuck diverted his attention back into the starless night sky, "The kind of worried that makes me want to move back and stay with her."

"I see..." Mark nodded, realising that the situation must be more important than he thought if it made Donghyuck want to take such actions, "What about your dad? Can he help?"

Donghyuck winced at the words. It was a sensitive topic that he'd rather not have to explain to Mark. But he was feeling sentimental, and being held by Mark only moments ago, couldn't stop him from suddenly seeking comfort from the older.

"He passed away. It was many years ago, I've accepted it now." Donghyuck didn't need to look to see the burning holes Mark was drilling into the side of his head just from how intense his gaze was.

He felt the way Mark shifted in his sitting position, probably not expecting to hear that.

A part of Mark was slightly annoyed that he didn't know. He should've known, he should've treaded around the subject more carefully. He shouldn't have made fun of Donghyuck when they saw each other after winter break. Suddenly, the sullen look on Donghyuck's face at the time, the sadness Mark was surprised to see in his features... suddenly, it all made sense.

"My mom has this really stupid boyfriend. He's arrogant and disgusting and doesn't treat my mom in the way she deserves to be treated. And when I went back home, my opinions about him were all proven to be correct." Donghyuck gritted through his teeth, his fists clenching at the thought of Taewoo being any where near his mother, "That ugly piece of trash, why can't she see that he's nothing?! He can't just give her some roses and expect them to fix everything?!"

"That's just how mothers are." Mark didn't know the context behind Donghyuck's anger, but he wanted to redeem himself, in a form of self-satisfaction since he felt bad that he made such careless assumptions before when he clearly didn't know a thing about Donghyuck's family circumstances. "They don't want to appear troubled or upset, she's probably just doing this so you won't be worried or stressed because of it."

"But I _am_ worried and stressed because of it! I'm _very_ worried and stressed because of it!" Donghyuck looked at Mark with so much confusion swirling in his eyes, Mark didn't know what to do.

He wanted to say something, he wanted to commend the younger for having so much strength and will-power, it was almost scary. Mark doesn't think he'd ever be the same if something like that happened to him. But the way Donghyuck takes things, the way he accepts them and adapts, the way he goes on with his life as if he wasn't carrying such a heavy burden on his shoulders - Mark thinks that that's nothing but sheer and true talent.

Mark didn't want to say anything. He didn't want to end up spilling out wrong pieces of advice, or make Donghyuck feel any worse. The latter was clearly angry and frustrated, and he had every right to be. Mark knew better than to disturb someone in a fit of anger. So instead, he unwrapped the scarf around his neck and carefully rounded it over Donghyuck's shoulder with a new-found gentleness he didn't know what to feel about.

Donghyuck looked at him with his wide, brown orbs again and Mark is seriously starting to get annoyed at how sparkly the latter's eyes are. 

"I've told you so many times to stop pretending to be strong." Mark shook his head, putting in the extra effort to make sure his words were quiet and soft. "Acting tough and getting angry won't make anything better. And, even though it seems unlikely at times... it _will_ get better. So don't worry."

Donghyuck thinks Mark doesn't give out advice as often as he assumed, because he's learned from the amount of times he had asked Mark for consolidation, that Mark is really shit at giving advice.

Even still, Mark looks at him with a sudden amount of acceptance. He doesn't look at Donghyuck like a person needing to be pitied or sympathised. Mark doesn't change his ways to accommodate for Donghyuck's distress. He doesn't alter his words, change his opinions, say anything more... and Donghyuck took it all in.

Mark could never relate to him. He's living an upper-class, prestigious, gold-plated life with the only worry of needing to continue such a life for himself in the future. Donghyuck couldn't expect him to say all the right things if he's never been in that situation anyway. But he appreciated it. 

"We may not always see eye-to-eye..." Mark's words caught Donghyuck's attention, "but you'll keep getting yourself into trouble if you don't tell someone about your worries. And, if you can't swallow your pride enough to do that... you can talk to me."

Donghyuck could feel heat circulate his body like lava. The scarf around his neck smelled like Mark and he could have sworn... he had never felt better. Being with Mark has never felt better. All those times, all those nights they spent, every silent tear he would cry because of Mark... something has changed.

It has changed to the point that Donghyuck wanted nothing more than to trust Mark and fall for his words again. Just like every other time he learned something new about Mark and ended up falling in love all over again. 

"Mark..." he called out softly, inching forward ever so slightly, praying that Mark wouldn't move back. If Mark didn't push him away while they were dancing, maybe he wouldn't push him away now. He caught the way Mark flinched, his eyes widening when the distance between them closed in, completely caught off-guard with how softly the latter said his name. He noted the way Mark's eyes _flitted_. The incredibly fleeting moment when Mark's gaze shifted downwards, to where Donghyuck's lips were. It was such a subtle and rapid movement, Donghyuck wanted to believe it was a trick of the light, only to realise that it was currently night time and the light source available around them was very limited.

Donghyuck almost wanted to feel proud of himself for eliciting such a reaction out of Mark. The confusion etched over Mark's face, bordering being flustered. He wanted to see it again. Donghyuck wanted to catch Mark off-guard again. 

_Now._

He should confess now. 

Do it now, now, _now_.

"Mark hyung, I-" Donghyuck cut himself off, his hands pressing hard on the cold stone step behind him, his face merely inches away from Mark's.

It's not coming out.

The words aren't coming out.

What should he say? Why didn't he plan this? He should've prepared more. He should have scripted everything! Why can't he say anything? Why is Mark looking at him like that?!

It's so infuriating! Mark's right there. He should just tell him! 

"Stop it." Mark's words cut through Donghyuck's thoughts like a sharp knife, startling the younger into distance, "Stop forcing yourself to explain for everything. I don't need an explanation. I don't want a story." Mark wasn't asking. He was commanding Donghyuck to stop. 

Donghyuck was almost baffled with how their moment slipped away just like that. He should have just said it. How could he be so stupid?!

"We're nothing alike." Mark sighed, creating further distance between them just to emphasise his words, "But I'm not oblivious."

He looked at Donghyuck with a new sort of determination. Donghyuck wanted to reach out and sooth the crease in between Mark's eyebrows, wanting to be generous and let his eyes linger on Mark's face for a little longer to take everything in before the night ended.

"We're not friends..." 

Donghyuck knew that. Mark didn't need to make it obvious.

"No more playing around. No more cleaning up after each other. No more of this stupid rivalry."

_Fuck._

"Let's be civil, Donghyuck."

This is not how Donghyuck wanted this night to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before you guys get mad at hyuck, or mark... or me... hyuck really couldn't confess! idk if anyone's been in that kind of situation before or smth similar... but multitasking with emotions is really hard. if i were in hyuck's place, i wouldn't be able to confess my feelings if my thoughts were too preoccupied with family-related issues. not only that, but if i ended up making hyuck confess, i know that i'd automatically make it so mark doesn't believe him. (and we don't want to wait any longer for that :')))
> 
> anyway!! i hope you guys likes this chapter and i hope it give you a little bit of insight into hyuck's thoughts and his own anxieties. next update will be the LAST chapter in which this back and forth process happens... if this reassures any of you in any way. i actually contemplated whether to post the next chapter or not and just skip it ... but then i read it through and realised that it was important (sighhhh)
> 
> i hope this book is meeting your expectations so far and thank you to everyone who's stuck with it for this long. i also want to thank those who mentioned in the comments that i needed to update my tags! i thought that my tags weren't too bad at first, but after getting feedback from you guys... i realised that i missed out on a LOT. i tried updating them so they're more appropriate for this fic, i hope you guys agree :) yes, this fic is an emotional rollercoaster, one that purposely intends to inflict frustration and anger (dw... i feel it too while writing this).  
> on the topic of my tags, i notices how the second (i think) tag is 'enemies to friends to lovers', i hope that reveals a little more of what the upcoming chapters will hold :) i'm the kind of person who loves cliche tropes, but stresses way too much over if smth goes too fast and too suddenly. i'd rather it go slowly than suddenly, which is why i want to make every stage within markhyuck's relationship as clear as i can! it's probably a little hard to tell now... but i promise you guys that after the next chapter, you guys will get what you've been waiting for! i know that, after writing chapters, that i've almost taken a whole 180 degree turn (can't say whether its good or bad tho... sry)
> 
> anyway!! i hope you liked this chapter and i hope you guys stick with this fic for a little longer so you can see where this goes!!! :))
> 
> NOW! as always, NEO CITTYYYY:  
> a lot ALWAYS happens in neo city and we all know it-  
> like us finally getting clarification on yuwin, thanks to our reliable sun and moon!! even thought moments are very scarce and i've been missing them really bad these past 2 years, it's been confirmed that yuwin still love each other uwu.  
> ALSO- i do NOT stand by hyuck saying that the love between yuwin is cute love, but the love yuta has for mark is REAL love... like... hyuckie, we get it... you're jealous hehehehe~  
> and from home unit reacting to from home mv is so adorable, i'm so proud of them... they all did really well and they deserve all the recognition in the world!!
> 
> and make a wish 3rd win is the best thing ever!! so proud of my boys and i'm so happy they got to share their encore stage with from home unit!! nct world domination!!! <33 all the make a wish content for behind the scenes on music shows is also so illegal... words cannot describe.
> 
> also!! episode 2 of nct world 2.0 was so ggoood!!! i seriously can't wait for next thursday!! we all know nct content is god tier... but sometimes, they really out-sell themselvess!!! nct superior! :))
> 
> anyway... thank you very much for reading and commenting and for putting up with this book for this long! i've surpassed 10k hits and written over 100k words now!! which is a massive milestone for this fic and i really couldn't be happier. i understand that there's a lot i need to clear up and that some chapters aren't meeting to expectations, but i'll try my best to make sure this fic comes out as satisfactory as it can be!
> 
> thank you guys for all the support!! se you next update!! 
> 
> ~Risa <3


	29. twenty seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updating schedule? what's that? don't know her :/
> 
> anyway... sorry for the wait :((  
> thank you guys so much for 500+ kudos and 11k+ hits!! i really didn't expect this fic to get so much recognition... i really can't thank you guys enough!!
> 
> sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors :')
> 
> i hope you like this chapter :))

_'Let's be civil, Lee Donghyuck.'_

Civil, civil, civil, civil... _civil_.

Donghyuck wanted to pull out all his hair because after everything, after the amount of times Donghyuck wounded himself up in Mark's bed, underneath the older. The times he would purposely crush his dignity and strip for him, wear lingerie for him, be sincere and loyal to him and listen when he asked. 

After all of that, Mark Lee wanted to be _civil_.

That asshat had the audacity to ask for _peace_ between them?! After they slow-danced and had a heart-felt conversation and everything?!

_'BLINQUALIXUNSLWIXAUKWNLOQWI?!?!?!?!?!?!?'_

Donghyuck wanted nothing more than to step all over Mark's beautifully defined face. Every time he saw Mark in the hallways, he would have an internal screaming battle with himself, while his moral conduct had to work twice as hard to stop himself from going over there and punching the crap out of Mark.

He was this close, _this close_ to bashing his head against the wall, murdering every remaining brain cell he had left and simultaneously ruining his educational career. Is this a good moment to drop out? Because right now, dropping out of school and never coming back had never sounded more appealing in his entire life.

Why, why, why, why, _whyyyyyyy_ is Mark Lee so _dummmmmmbbbb_?????

God, Mark is actually the dumbest person on the planet. But, then again, he isn't doing that great either.

He really should have just confessed. Mucked up all his courage and smacked his lips onto Mark's right there and then. Fuck... he really should've done just that. Kissing Mark right now sounds really good. Donghyuck could've done that already if he wasn't such a stupid, sensitive little shit who only fell for Mark's sex talk and sexy voice instead of making. shit. happen.

"Why is confessing so hard to do?" he mumbled, sadness seeping in his tone.

"It isn't, you're just making it hard for yourself." Renjun stated blatantly and harshly, "You had the most perfect opportunity to tell him at that gala and you screwed it up."

"Renjunnie~~ I'm sad and you're being so cruel to me..." Donghyuck pouted, straining his pitch higher because he knew how much Renjun hated it when he did that.

Renjun's face scrunched up in disgust, using a lone finger to push against Donghyuck's forehead, flicking the younger back into his chair and off the table before they gained any more unnecessary attention from other students in the cafeteria.

"You deserve it for being so stupid." Renjun sighed, scrolling through his phone mindlessly, "I mean... he literally gave you his scarf! Was that a perfect opportunity to confess or was that a perfect opportunity to fucking confess?!"

"... it was a perfect opportunity to confess..." Donghyuck answered in all seriousness, all sadness, head plopping onto his arms as he wailed and whined into his sleeves.

"Hello my fellow comrades of youth!" Jaemin's enthusiastic squealing welcomed the two boys as they watched the latter take his seat.

"Hey Nana..." Renjun greeted the younger, but Donghyuck looked too morally drained to muster up a coherent greeting.

"What's up with him?" Jaemin leaned over to whisper to Renjun.

"He's still bitter from the whole gala thing when he failed to confess to Mark Lee." Renjun answered simply, as if those words didn't crush Donghyuck's mentality even more than it had already been.

"Ahh..." Jaemin chimed in acknowledgement, knowing well how distraught Donghyuck had been the following day after the whole thing went down. "Well, not to worry! You'll have plenty more chances!"

"Yeah, don't get discouraged, Hyuck." Renjun added in with a comforting smile.

"You guys make me want to throw up." Donghyuck glared at them, "I can't believe you're pitying me because you have boyfriends and I don't. Wow. I can't even look at you guys anymore." 

Jaemin could only laugh and Renjun rolled his eyes, not even bothering to argue with the younger. Donghyuck was being dramatic again and they knew they would just need to play it off until he feels better.

Donghyuck practically sulked the entire time, even more so when Jeno joined them, where in Renjun had to hold Donghyuck back when the latter was threatening to fling a chair at Jeno after the boy came in and pressed a kiss on Jaemin's cheek. The three could hear the tanned boy mumbling something that sounded like it came straight out of a BLACKPINK song, with words relating to "love is stupid" and "fuck love, who needs it anyway?" Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun really didn't know what to do with their defeated friend.

To add to his misery, as if the universe wasn't already against him enough, Donghyuck's morning physically couldn't get any worse. Until it did and Mark Lee himself walked passed their table, not without an added comment.

"Hey loser." Mark casually greeted Donghyuck, anticipating an equally casual greeting in return.

"Hey..." Donghyuck replied in a quiet voice, not even bothering to look up, too dejected and hopeless to consider whoever just walked by.

Everyone stopped. Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin snapped their heads to look at Donghyuck incredulously, as if the latter just grew another head or something bizarre like that. Lucas, Hendery and Xiaojun, who were accompanying Mark over to their table, also couldn't believe what they just heard. Mark himself had stopped dead in his tracks instantly. He placed his food on his table and walked back over to Donghyuck, who was sitting slouched over the table with his head in his arms.

"What? No snappy comeback today? No 'hey dickhead' or 'hey asshole' or 'hey President Trump the b-tech version'?" Mark raised a brow questioningly, eyeing the younger's slouched position.

Donghyuck just stayed quiet. If he looked at Mark now, it would just remind him of how he messed up at the gala.

Mark grew increasingly annoyed with the fact that Donghyuck was so upset to the point where he wouldn't even retaliate to his teasing.

To both their friends' surprise, Mark sat down next to him and placed his head on the table, breath hitching in his throat for a split second when Donghyuck raised his gaze from his arms to meet his eyes.

"If you keep sulking like that, the entire school will be fawning over your attention-seeking ass in a minute." Mark sighed, internally annoyed at the idea.

Donghyuck managed to let out a quiet chuckle before lifting his head up, not wanting anyone to ask him if he was ok.

The six boys watching the two exchanged glances of incredulity, not believing their own eyes.

Was this seriously happening? Was Mark trying to... _cheer_ Donghyuck up?

The thought sent shivers down their spines. 

Mark got up and left, muttering something about not wanting to waste time dealing with Donghyuck, despite his actions completely contradicting his words only moments ago.

Donghyuck turned around, only to be greeted with the sight of six boys gaping at him, mouths wide open and eyes bulging out in evident shock.

"What?" he questioned, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion.

"Mark just- you just- he just-" Jaemin pointed between Donghyuck and Mark's distancing figure, his own words mashing up together due to the simple amount of bewilderment he was currently having to endure.

"Tell me we did not just witness that, Xuxi..." Renjun muttered in Chinese, directing his words to the taller boy.

"We did, babe..." Lucas sighed, shaking his head and following after Mark to their table.

There's something going on. But no one knows what.

"Please tell me the student council are doing something for Valentines Day." 

Donghyuck looked up when Jaemin spoke. They were in the library, where silence was mandatory, but that never seemed to stop Jaemin before.

"What do you mean?" Donghyuck asked, kindly lowering his voice in consideration of the students who were actually trying to work. Donghyuck himself would love to get some work done... but Jaemin had other plans.

"Isn't it obvious? Valentines Day is the perfect opportunity for you to confess!" Jaemin beamed.

By now, Donghyuck was getting serious concerned with his sudden, abrasive tendencies, because nothing sounded better than smacking Jaemin in the head.

"If I hear the words 'perfect opportunity' one more time, I'm going to take it as a perfect opportunity to drop out of this college and never return." Donghyuck grumbled, glaring daggers at Jaemin, who shifted nervously under the deadly gaze. (Wonder who he picked that up from?)

"I was just _suggesting_... jeez, you get triggered by everything nowadays." Jaemin deadpanned, "True love changes people..."

Mark may be on the top of Donghyuck's list of people he wants to see suffer, but Jaemin is a very close second.

"Was that all?" Donghyuck sighed, giving one more glance at his sheet of stock graphs he had to analyse and describe for his economics class tomorrow. Right now, he'd rather Jaemin not disturb his thinking process.

"Not even half of it!" Jaemin assured brightly, "Ok listen, we should actually do something for Valentine's Day."

"Like what?" Donghyuck tried to give Jaemin some attention.

"Hmm... how about a secret valentines? Or a kissing booth?" Jaemin buzzed up some more ideas, "OR!! We could try again with the '24-hour boyf-"

" _Please._ " Donghyuck quickly cut him off, a sour feeling bubbling in his chest, "We will no longer speak of that."

"Noted."

"Besides, why are you so invested in this? It's not like you'll be spending time on Valentines Day alone or anything..." Donghyuck reminded, knowing that Renjun and Jeno weren't going to be spending the day alone either.

"I won't be! Not when I'll have you, Renjun and Jeno with me!" Jaemin clasped his hands together excitedly.

"As much as I'd love to spend the day with you, Nana..." Donghyuck smiled gratefully at the younger's consideration, "I'm pretty sure Renjun and I have better things to do than watch you and Jeno get all lovey-dovey."

"We won't! I promise..." Jaemin persisted, as if Donghyuck couldn't see the blush slowly forming on his cheeks.

"Nana, don't worry... I'll be fine." Donghyuck sighed, "I'll think of something."

"You will?!" Jaemin suddenly brightened up at the words, "You're gonna make a move? You'll confess?"

"Maybe..." Donghyuck concluded, "I'm still kind of uneasy from last time. But I'll try..."

Jaemin seemed to be satisfied with the answer and nodded in acknowledgement.

"You can just do something classic like getting him chocolate or something." Jaemin proposed another idea. "He wants to be civil with you... doesn't that mean you should start off by being friends at least?"

Ok. Jaemin has a point there.

Donghyuck couldn't expect Mark to suddenly fall for him if they weren't even considered as friends yet.

His first mission was to change the title of whatever relationship they had.

That would be a good start.

"Is there a reason why you're looking at me like that?" Mark didn't bother looking away from his computer screen, his words clearly directed to the only other person in the room. From the corner of his eye, he could see Donghyuck staring him down.

"What exactly do you mean by _civil_?" the tanned boy screwed his eyes at the other, as if trying to search for the answer to his question somewhere on Mark's face.

"Is that why you've been sulking all day?" Mark looked at him judgingly, "You're probably thinking too much about it."

"Don't get too ahead of yourself, Mark Lee." Donghyuck huffed, "Why would I waste my precious time thinking about such useless things like that?"

Mark only rolled his eyes, deeming this conversation useless entirely and not worth his attention.

"But I am a little _curious_..." Donghyuck admitted after a few moments, "what does being _civil_ make us?"

"It doesn't make _us_ anything." Mark grumbled in annoyance, "Now shut up and get on with your work."

Donghyuck frowned at the answer.

There wasn't an _us_ between them, and Donghyuck knew that.

Right now, Mark and him were two separate entities, born in completely different worlds, yet unfortunate enough to live under the same sky. To Mark, being rivals was a hassle. It took too much time and energy and Mark clearly didn't have the patience to deal with him.

Even to Donghyuck, annoying Mark was losing its humour. It started off all fun and games, seeing Mark get angry and pissing him off was funny and entertaining. But now, all Donghyuck was getting in response was a cold shoulder, confused interactions, words and gestures that Mark would do, which left Donghyuck completely and utterly puzzled.

Mark must be playing with him. He's toying with him, right?

It's so _obvious_.

"Valentines Day is coming up..." Donghyuck spoke up, trying his hardest not to fawn over the sight of Mark's concentrated expression, "are you doing anything?"

"Work?" Mark raised a brow, as if the answer was obvious.

"Besides that, hyung..." Donghyuck rolled his eyes, "it's a day to spend with your significant other! Or at least trying to look for one!"

"I don't have time for that." Mark deadpanned in all seriousness.

"But it's a special day!" Donghyuck protested.

"To you, every day is a special day." Mark put down his pen and looked at Donghyuck with such an unimpressed stare, the younger felt small under his gaze, "There's something going on all the time, a new occasion to celebrate in one way or another. Why can't we just _not_ devote our time to these pointless customs? Why can't we just sit down quietly and do our work?"

"What kind of lifestyle is that?" Donghyuck shot back, equally as unimpressed.

"The kind of lifestyle that will get me somewhere in the future." Mark retorted with ease, "Besides, I'm not dying tomorrow... if I don't celebrate today, I'll have the rest of my life to celebrate. I'm not missing out on anything."

Donghyuck wants to hate Mark's logic. 

Anyone could see that Mark was the kind of person that simply did not live his life as if every day was his last.

Donghyuck knew this.

Mark could have everything, top grades, great friends, a loving family, financial support for the rest of his lifetime.

_He could have millions, but he still wouldn't be satisfied._

Donghyuck thinks that Mark really is missing out, no matter how many times the older tries to deny it. Life is all about no regrets, living every day to the fullest and never looking back. That kind of mindset was the only reason why Donghyuck decided to be so persistent with his emotions. That, if he moves on too soon, if he doesn't truly try everything... he'll regret it later and it'll be too late to turn back.

He doesn't want Mark to regret anything. He doesn't want Mark to live his prime years not spending them like he should. Going to parties, drinking, doing drugs and dumb shit with friends - that wasn't even half of it.

There was so much more out there that Mark refused to see, a part of culture that Mark merely batted his eyes over. Donghyuck wanted Mark to experience things he's never experienced before.

Why doesn't Mark see it too?

"Hyung..." 

"What is it now?" Mark could pretend to be angry, but he couldn't deny the fact that Donghyuck's soft voice when the latter calls out for him was _interesting_. 

"Have you..." Donghyuck tried phrasing the words in his head, carefully constructing the sentence, not wanting to offend Mark in any way.

'Have you ever been in love?'

Donghyuck wanted to ask. But he keeps it to himself, brushing off the start to his lingering question away until Mark averted his attention back to his work.

He already knew the answer to that.

Mark has never been in love and it shows. 

And being in love with a person who doesn't know what love is, was so difficult, Donghyuck doesn't know how much longer he can keep this up.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" 

"It's not a good idea nor a bad idea. It's just an _idea_ that you're trying out." Donghyuck rolled his eyes as he stared at the rose gold-haired boy through his phone screen.

"That's not the kind of answer I was looking for, Taeyong hyung..." he frowned.

"Well, you've got to deal with the fact that you won't get answers for everything. No matter how many questions you have, no matter how many people you ask for advice... there are just some things you need to learn through the process of trial and error." Taeyong wistfully stated, and Donghyuck had to refrain himself from checking to see if he actually contacted the right person and not some spiritual monk.

"Which temple did you hear that one from?" he teased, pushing the glass bowls to the side and started clearing up the ingredients he had been using for his previous task.

"The only temple I learn from is the one in my head." Taeyong grinned all smugly, tapping his head for added emphasis.

"Why did I ask you to help me again?" Donghyuck sighed, wondering if he should've called Doyoung, or maybe even Ten, but reminded himself that he had to quickly scrap that idea after remembering that the two were disasters in the kitchen.

"Because, after Johnny, I know Mark best!" Taeyong assured, "And if you get this right, Mark has absolutely no reason not to fall for you! Oh god! This is going to be great! We're seriously hyping you guys up. If the markhyuck ship doesn't sail... then there's no point in literally anything."

Donghyuck could only let out a laugh at the older's words. He watched as Taeyong grabbed a few bowls and poured thick, dark brown liquid into one of them and pale white liquid into another. 

"You guys are rooting for us?" he questioned, musing the older's idea even more as he continued to spectate through the screen of his phone, eyeing the minutes at the top of the screen that indicated how long he had spent on facetime with his hyung.

"Of course we are! Jungwoo kept telling me to give him the stats of yours and Mark's blooming romance." Taeyong stated as a matter-of-factly.

"What romance?" Donghyuck sighed, dejection laced in his voice.

"The one that's bound to flourish once you give Mark the chocolate you poured your heart and soul into making." Taeyong reminded, as if Donghyuck hadn't spent over an hour trying to create perfect delicacies to give to Mark, with the guidance of Taeyong of course.

"Well... that's what I'm counting on." Donghyuck shrugged, shifting around the small kitchen in his dorm to where he set the bowls of chocolate mix. "By the way, hyung... why aren't you freezing your chocolate? I thought you said it only needed to set for twenty minutes?"

"Huh? Oh..." Taeyong glanced over his shoulder to the bowls set on his countertop before looking back at Donghyuck with unexpecting eyes, "Why would I when I'm just going to spread it over my body for Jaehyunnie to lick off later?" he raised a brow almost innocently. The entire reason why he was available to help Donghyuck with his wishes was because his own boyfriend's birthday was on Valentines Day, so it was only fitting.

"That's gross, hyung..." Donghyuck pursed his lips and screwed his eyes in minimal disgust, "gross... but sexy."

"Just like my Jaehyunnie~"

"That literally makes no sens- never mind." Donghyuck decided not to fuel Taeyong's desire for wanting to go on another rant about Jaehyun. As cute as the couple were and as much as Donghyuck truly liked them and respected them, he had his own love life to worry about.

Instead, he decided to focus on his own chocolates. After many, many, many attempts, accompanied with lots of praying as well as the sudden uptake of spiritual practise... the end result was more or less nothing short of a masterpiece.

He wrapped it up carefully, securing his pride and joy within a small box and tied it up with a delicate ribbon-bow.

He set it aside, somewhere in his line of sight so he didn't forget to take it with him amidst the rush of his usual morning routine.

Donghyuck just hoped Mark would like it.

Valentines Day is tomorrow.

And, like he did with most of his plans, Donghyuck was beginning to regret the entire ordeal. This always fucking happens and Donghyuck didn't know why he had to be cursed with the misfortunes of insecurities and low self-esteem, because he always found himself in the position of wanting to back out of something he had planned and worked hard to prepare.

It _always_ happened!!

Why does Mark have this kind of effect on him?!

Why does being in love with Mark Lee mean that he'll have to carry a sack of self-doubt with him everywhere he goes? His entire predicament was so frustrating and annoying.

Because now, he's completely lost.

The small box in his hand feels like a heavy weight that was currently bruising his fingers the longer he held it for. It shouldn't be that difficult. He shouldn't have to think about it. It shouldn't require so much extra brain power that he needed to reserve for when he actually confesses. 

Donghyuck just doesn't know how to give it to him. 

He doesn't know how to give the chocolate he spent all night tirelessly trying to perfect because he was adamant that whatever Mark receives... should be _perfect_.

Should he just walk up to the older directly and give it to him, like he's seen other people do? Should he just leave them in his locker, which was already overflowing with neatly wrapped gifts and prettily decorated cards? Should he ask one of his friends to give it to him? Maybe Lucas?

Donghyuck thought about it all day. He carried the small box in his bag all day, to every lesson, even to the library. Unknowingly, he hadn't been that discreet about it since a large number of student, who just so happened to be staring at Donghyuck, had caught a glimpse of the small box, which then caused word to circulate, rumouring that the student council vice president was interested in someone and was planning on giving them chocolate for Valentines Day.

He thought about it all day up until the very last minute of school where he stood alone in the student council room, glancing between the box in his hand and Mark's desk. It's not like he's signed it or anything, so Mark wouldn't know either way. 

But he felt stupid. This is so cliché and Mark will just end up throwing something that he took ages to make. Realistically, the best option for him was just to take it home and eat it himself. 

Yeah, he should really just do that.

"What's this?" Mark held up a small, dark green patterned box with a neat bow of golden linen wrapped around it twice in crosses. He needed to give a member of the committee sheets for the next meeting, only to find a small box sat in the middle of his desk. 

Somehow, the movements he made towards the box reminded him of a small note and a cup of coffee.

"I think its chocolate. Someone must've left it for you last minute, Valentines Day is tomorrow." the student council committee member he came with, Wonbin, explained, "No one else is allowed in here but us, so someone on the student council must like you, Mark-ssi." and there's a knowing hint in the boy's tone that Mark can't quite pin down, but deemed he wasn't interested enough to care.

"Hmm..." Mark clicked his tongue, examining the box with no name, no card, no indication of who could've given it to him, before flinging it to the only other person in the room, "You can have it."

"W-what? But it's yours, I can't take it." Wonbin protested, barely catching the box between his fingers.

"Yes, you can. I just gave it to you." Mark shrugged carelessly, not even bothering to look up at the boy. 

"Oh... Donghyuck-ssi will be upset then." Wonbin frowned, looking at the box intently.

"Why would he be upset?" the other's words instantly caught Mark's attention as he looked over at the boy with sudden interest.

"Ah! Serim saw Donghyuck-ssi come in here earlier with a box in his hand. No one else received chocolates in this room and you and Donghyuck-ssi are the only ones with desks here. Plus, people have been talking about how Donghyuck made chocolate for someone this year, he had lots of people hoping he made it for them." Wonbin laughed, holding the box lightly, "Anyway, thank you for the chocolate, see you tomorrow, Mark-ssi."

Mark eyed the boy heading for the door with the small box in his hand. 

He had received many confessions, and chocolates, and presents throughout the past two days of Valentines celebrations... but he had no care for them and discarded every confession.

_So why?_

Why would Donghyuck give him something? Was this him trying to be civil? Was this the kind of impression Donghyuck got out of his words?

The cup of coffee.

The little notes left on his desk every now and then.

Was that all Donghyuck as well?

Was Donghyuck trying to be civil this entire time?

Now that he thought back to the note Donghyuck left him that night when he pulled the younger out of that dingy alleyway... he could see it more clearly. Somehow, the flow of characters on the small pieces of card, the lingering scent of vanilla that dangerously resembled the aura Donghyuck emitted, the simple gestures that somehow all trailed back to _him_.

That's it. 

He should leave it at that. He should watch Wonbin walk out of the door with the box and feel reassured with the fact that he won't have to see it ever again.

He really should do just that.

"Leave the box on the table." Mark instructed sternly, catching the way the other boy flinched.

"Y-you want it?" Wonbin asked, hesitantly but curiously.

"I'll just save you the trouble and discard it myself."

Wonbin visibly sagged his shoulders, but what could he expect from the cold-hearted president? He said a silent but painful goodbye to the chocolate he was going to devour as soon as he stepped out of the council room and placed it on the table gently, nodded his head at the president and leaves. 

Mark waited a whole minute when the door shuts close. 

He waited before going over to the meeting table and picking up the box carefully. He unwrapped the bow and slid the lid off, almost scoffing at the sight of a slightly droopy looking star. (Donghyuck didn't have the dignity to make a heart - that shit is so cliché he would rather die). It was a little wonky and kind of lopsided. But, for some reason, the chocolate droops reminded Mark of a pair of soft brown eyes. Ones that sparkle in the light and shine under the presence of the moon.

Contrary to its appearance, Mark took one small bite of it and almost fell to the floor. It was rich with a perfect balance of sweet and bitter because Mark was the kind of person who couldn't decide between the two and would rather have a balance instead of a sixty-forty divide. 

It doesn't make any sense.

Mark couldn't even pretend to be oblivious anymore.

His previous cognition during the Winter Gala a while back resurfaced to the brink of his mind. Even back then, he couldn't understand what was changing.

Why are _they_ changing?

All of a sudden, why does he need to do this? Why does Donghyuck do this, knowing that Mark wouldn't give anything in return.

Mark had never cared about these kind of things before. He never bothered over the fact that he really doesn't know much about love or anything related to it. He never understood why there was an occasional holiday dedicated to such a mundane feeling in the first place. Why would someone waste their time doing something like this? Why would someone waste away their feelings like that? Why would someone expect a person to return their feelings to the same degree and then proceed to act as if they're in love? As if, at some point, something will happen and it would all end anyway?

How does one endure it?

"Why did you do this?" Mark sighed to himself, box in one hand and chocolate in the other. "I've told you so many times that you mean nothing to me. You're only a partner, a fellow classmate, my vice president. Nothing more, nothing less... it's almost like you're asking me to break your heart."

Even still, Mark made a mental note to be a little nicer next time he has the younger underneath him... just this once.

Donghyuck was slightly confused. 

Valentines Day was yesterday and he was here being pinned down in Mark Lee's bed by none other than the owner himself. 

Tonight was _different_.

Mark was... _softer_ , more gentle, didn't tease, didn't play, didn't edge him. In fact, he didn't really say much either, he couldn't even meet his eyes. Mark pinned the latter's hands above his head, but the grip wasn't in any way harsh. Their bodies were pressed together more closely as well, their scents and touches were lingering more than usual, Donghyuck could _feel_ it more than usual.

"Mark hyung?" Donghyuck called out softly once the older finished cleaning himself up.

"What?" the usual snark in his tone was there, but Donghyuck wasn't convinced by it. Still, he wasn't stupid enough to ask the older why their sex seemed different this time - he didn't have enough shamelessness to go as far as that. 

"I saw that you got a lot of chocolates and presents yesterday for Valentines Day..." he started off slowly.

"So? That's none of your business." Mark screwed his eyes at the younger.

"I know that..." Donghyuck rolled his eyes, "did you, by any chance, open any? Like, I don't know, was there one that maybe caught your attention over the rest?"

"What are you trying to get at? Just fucking say it." Mark grumbled in annoyance, but deep down, he knew what the younger was talking about and now he could confirm that it was, in fact, _Donghyuck_ who gave him the chocolate.

"Ugh fuck off." Donghyuck pushed himself off the bed, forcing himself to walk off the pain in his lower back as he pulled on his clothes. "I was just asking. You probably threw them away like the insensitive dick that you are."

"Mhm, I did." Mark shrugged with a short laugh, "Except for one. It was a small cute box but the owner was stupid enough not sign it, so I don't know who it was from."

Donghyuck felt his heartbeat quicken in pace, even faster than it had been doing during their mind-blowing session that was surprisingly nicer today.

"R-really?" Donghyuck stuttered in surprise, "What did it look like?"

"Aren't you curious." Mark smirked knowingly, leaning down so his face was barely inches away from the younger boy, "It was red, with a dark blue ribbon and there was a heart piece chocolate inside. If you know who it was, tell me... I'll thank them myself." 

And just like that, Donghyuck's heart cracked in half. His present was green with a shimmery gold ribbon because he knows Mark's favourite colour is green and he thinks gold goes well with the colour. The thought of his present that he worked so hard on being thrown away with all the other presents Mark received, all treated with the same lack of care and heart, all crushed under the older's foot just like all the confessions those presents held. Donghyuck was one of them. He was part of that crushed group of losers who thought that they could at least receive some sort of sincerity from the student council president, all remaining hopeful until they realised that Mark would never care about such things. 

All except one. 

Just one person who gave a small red box with a blue ribbon and no signature.

That person was lucky.

"Ok. I'm sure you'll find that person." Donghyuck offered the older a smile, hopeful for Mark and hopeless for himself, his mind already chanting _'i'm done, i'm done, i'm so fucking done.'_

Mark caught it. He caught the disappointment in the younger's face and he forced himself to make sure that he doesn't care one bit. 

Whatever Donghyuck feels for him, whatever fantasy the latter's got going on in his head.

He doesn't care at all.

Mark didn't know why he did _that_.

He didn't understand why he decided to go slow today, or why he wasn't particularly in the mood to do anything too rash or to the extent they normally do it at. 

It didn't make sense as to why, today of all days, Mark simply wanted to _look_.

Mark had never needed to do it before. He never needed to look at Donghyuck whenever the younger was underneath him. He always trained his eyes to focus on the pillow under the latter's head, or the plain white wall the heard board of the bed rested against. He didn't need to see what kind of expressions Donghyuck made, he didn't need to look to know where to place his hands. He really didn't need to know that the boy he was sharing the bed with was Donghyuck - he really didn't even need to know his name.

But... something's different now.

Because, when Mark _looks_... he finally understands everything he's been missing out on the entire they've been meeting up, all while trying to avoid eye contact. He finally notices the way Donghyuck's expressions twist and turn, showing just how much pleasure he was in, the way his tears escape from the corners of his eyes, the way he bites his lip so harshly, it draws blood, the way he squeezes his eyes shut, as if he was in the same dilemma Mark had been in - refusing to look at each other.

He finally notices where he places his hands, the way they slide so effortlessly across the younger's tanned body, rising and dipping with every curve and edge of skin and bone. He finally realises why his fingertips always feel like they're on fire after roaming around the expanse of skin. 

He finally realised just how flawless and ethereal Donghyuck truly is and that he probably would've recognised this all so much sooner if he just opened his eyes.

Such thoughts were entirely pointless, but Mark couldn't help but think about it. He thought about it, as if was the last time they'd see each other like this.

Mark didn't even know what was going on in his own mind. He just knew that it would probably be safer if he had nothing to do with it.

The next morning was hell on earth, Donghyuck didn't even want to get out of bed. With some almighty strength, he forced his body up, did his usual morning routine and dragged himself to school.

He dreaded every step he took towards the student council room, mentally praying that no one would be there so he could just collect his work and leave straight away.

Donghyuck should've known better than to ask the universe for some support, because as soon as he entered the room, the first thing his eyes latched onto was Mark's figure lounging in his chair.

"You're late today." Mark said to him without even batting an eye.

"Slow morning..." Donghyuck tried to keep his responses short, and quickly beelined for his desk. He hoped that the older wouldn't say any more, and he almost got to the door as well, ready to escape the sudden torture that was Mark's presence.

But he didn't get quite that far.

"About yesterday..." Mark started off, and the words sent a shiver down Donghyuck's spine, causing goosebumps to spread all over his skin. "I was tired and couldn't be bothered to do anything different... next time won't be the same."

Donghyuck doesn't bother looking back or even answering. He left through the door wordlessly, feeling the final ounce of his affections dwindle like a dying flame.

Because, after everything, even after the events of yesterday, Donghyuck could finally confirm that something has, in fact, _changed_.

Somewhere in his mind, Donghyuck _knows_.

There won't be a next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a little sad that this chapter, as well as last chapter, mark's trying to redeem himself sub-consciously... but doing a really bad job at it... and now hyuck doesn't want to deal with it anymore :((
> 
> i feel bad for writing them like this and every time i write... my heart physically hurts because all these emotions and frustrations are something i've felt before (even if the sole concept isn't about love).  
> admittedly, it's a little easier to write them out instead of keeping them in your head... but it does still hurt.
> 
> again, sorry for the late update. i was actually struggling a little bit with new chapters, but i've got a bit of a flow going on, so hopefully i can keep it up. i've written notes for all chapters up until the near end of this fic, all ideas have already been established and it's not that likely that i'll input a new scene that wasn't initially part of my notes. all i have to do now is write them out :'))  
> also, i'm just going to be honest with you... i could spend more time writing, but 1)biology notes take fcking forever to write and 2)i've recently taken up a new game that is currently taking over my life and now i'm very distracted... sadness ;-;
> 
> anyway! as mentioned last chapter, this chapter was planned to be the last time markhyuck's dynamics would stay like this. it's frustrating and has been frustrating this entire time and i'm really proud of you guys for sticking with this annoying confliction for so long. i think next chapter will hopefully clear things up, especially since the ending of this chapter was quite open (?).  
> don't worry! there's still a lot of plot-heavy chapters coming up and i'm still going to keep up with having something different happening every chapter, with occasional filler-chapters as well as character-development chapters :))
> 
> also, thank you guys for supporting this fic and engaging so much with it in the comments! the main reason why i love replying to comments so much is that their is so much discussion going on and i really like how everyone has their own input and own personal experience related to this fic.
> 
> i think i'll explain it a little more in future chapters, but this fic is a close translation of how i deal with emotions. as i've said before, i'm perfectly fine and perfectly happy, but i've been told by other people that the way i deal with emotions is slightly different than what they expect of me. so i wonder if that showcases in this fic? maybe more in the future? idk...
> 
> hmmm... what else should i say? uhh... ah! again, even though it seems very unlikely, markhyuck will be endgame and it'll take a little more burning to get to the core, so i hope you guys will endure this a little longer.
> 
> idk if you guys can tell just yet or not, but mark is in heavy denial of his feelings and thoughts, he's practical when it comes to accepting facts, but in rejection of what those facts have in relation to him. this will also be developed more in future chapters!! (which hopefully hints at the fact that there will be more mark pov and more switch pov within chapters :))
> 
> now...as always, the fangirl segment of my notes: nct worlldd!!  
> i'll keep this short, but a lot has been going on this past week of nct-filled activities! today, we got lots of ot23 interactions bc of ep. 3 of nct world 2.0! i really really love that show and sometimes, i think about the fact that we've waited near while 2 years to get these interactions and it was so worth it.  
> idk... 00 line supremacy and i stand by that ig ://  
> we got some yuwin as welll uwuwwuuwuwuwu~  
> also... it still shocks me to this day that mark lee is actually really strong... but we'll save that discussion for another time.  
> and sungchan? is? good? at? everything? like why?!?!?! i want some of that talent too ;-;  
> and 00 line trying to hold hyuck back when he was about to throw hands at yuta hqidanhloqiw 00 line share one brain = confirmed.
> 
> we also got misfit behind the scenes and make a wish inkigayo behind with mc jaehyunnieeee uwuwuwuuwwuu !!
> 
> not only that! but we got yuta's bday vlive (my baby, my prince, my love) AND winwin, along with wayv, in princess dresses dancing to bad alive wowowowow (i see you yangyang) - wayv's career and dignity = ruined.
> 
> with nct... what a good time to be alive :'))
> 
> anyway!! last time i checked, make a wish was at 77M... lets get to 100M :'))
> 
> conclusion: thank you guys so much for the support and for waiting longer than necessary for this update... i'll try my best to write as much as i can hehehehe~
> 
> thank you very much for reading!!
> 
> see you next update!
> 
> ~Risa <3
> 
> (also... i've given up with trying to make my notes short - it's like a whole other section of my updates :'))))  
> (also also... peep that very unnecessary regular reference :'( idk why i do this to myself)


	30. twenty eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to me, this chapter is trying to convey a lot... but idk if i did it as well as i should've :/
> 
> but anyway! i hope you like it!!~~
> 
> thank you so much for everyone who's still reading this! i love you guys so much!!! <33

Donghyuck doesn't know how many ears he's chewed off when he tells people how much he loves _theatre_ , because he _loves_ theatre.

There's no single reason as to why he's so fond of the specific performing art, he just is. Donghyuck found that, when he really liked something or someone, he never had a sole reason why he had that interest in the first place, it just fell like that.

Of course, theatre held a more significant meaning for him. It reminded him of his father and that fact in itself made up almost eighty-percent of the reasons why he continues performing till this very day. He knew he'd never take up the hobby as a career, it was simply something he loved doing in his spare time and enjoyed the reactions and attention he would receive from others, bathing in their compliments and praise, as if their sweet words were meant only for him and no one else. 

Donghyuck liked to be the centre of attention. At times, he thought it would be a bad character trait, but he couldn't bring himself to question why he always ended up wanting attention in all forms from whoever was near.

It was nice. 

Having people look at you, talk highly about you, commend you for your efforts. It felt good to be appreciated in such a way. And theatre made it so easy to be appreciated. Donghyuck would put in just as much effort as he expected to receive applause and recognition in return.

In other words, it was the percentage economy of the amount of an overall successful performance: how much effort he would put in over how much attention he would receive, multiplied by a hundred.

And if he calculated it correctly, Donghyuck expected to obtain one-hundred-percent every time, provided that there were no side-distractions preventing his perfect score.

_Simple._

Besides his requirement for attention, Donghyuck truly had a burning passion for the art and was more than happy to inform anyone who was curious to the origin of his interest towards the hobby.

Everything about it.

The atmosphere, the heat from the stage lights that dappled dramatic colours to set the mood of a scene - white for joyful moments, blue for sad, red for anger and death - the effects colours had on his performance was such a fascinating aspect of theatre, Donghyuck couldn't help but love it. He liked the way he glided on stage, as if he was dancing, he liked the way his voice was loud and strong amidst the tentative silence of the audience, he loved the way everything in front of him was pitch black so he couldn't see the faces of people in the crowd, adrenaline and anticipation filling his guts when the light did shed and the standing ovation yet to come for his work as well as the effort he put into it.

There really wasn't just one sole reason.

_"Where are we going?? Dad!! Tell me!!"_

_"It's a surprise, Hyuck-ah... won't you be a good boy and wait a little longer?"_

_Donghyuck pouted, crossing his arms and knitting his eyebrows with a low huff, evidently upset with the lack of intel he was receiving from his father on the whereabouts of their destination._

_In his head, Donghyuck hoped they were going to the new toy shop that opened somewhere downtown in the market place. He had seen advertisements and posters of the store all around his neighbourhood and he hadn't in any way made it discreet to his parents that he wanted to go there. He knew both his parents were busy with work and couldn't spend much time with him, but Donghyuck appreciated the way they tried to come home as quickly as possible, knowing well that their son would prefer to stay with them rather than with a caretaker._

_Donghyuck looked outside the window, letting the familiar billboards and shops trigger memories of years of endless expenditure. Going out with his parents every week to come back home with something new to add to their collection of items and miscellaneous, ending up with a house that a stranger wouldn't be able to differentiate from a jungle, just from how many plants had made home in their lives. Donghyuck never really knew why his mother insisted on having an array of different plants on every available window-sill in their house, but he couldn't complain either since he liked the way they looked under the sunlight as well as the natural, watery aroma they would emit around the house._

_"We're here!"_

_Donghyuck jerked his neck, eyes widening in excitement as he clicked open his seatbelt and stumbled out of the car as fast as he could. He looked around, his smile slowly falling into a confused frown once he realised there were no shops that even resembled those that sell toys and gadgets for his seven year old heart to enjoy._

_Instead, all Donghyuck saw before him were the blinding strobe lights that decorated an old-fashioned, 90s style theatre hall, one that he vaguely remembered his father talking about, but not in great detail since he never paid much attention to such conversations. The white panels between the colourful LEDs read: 'Phantom of the Opera'._

_The name itself elicited a sharp groan from Donghyuck's throat, dread and misery of his crushed desires coming up to the surface._

_"I heard this version is amazing! The actors are truly incredible!" he hears his father say to him._

_"Dad, I don't know why you like these things and I don't know why I have to be here right now." Donghyuck sighed, evidently disappointed by the fact that he wasn't going to the new toy shop like he thought he would._

_"Come on, Hyuck! You haven't even experienced the world of theatre yet! I want you to see it with your own eyes!"_

_The excitement in his father's face was enough to guilt-trip Donghyuck into accepting the offer (as if he really had a say in the matter in the first place). He was grumpy and complained majority of the time, but he let his father drag him through the double doors and into a fancy-looking lobby, decorated with portraits that were half-hidden behind long, dark red curtains. Even the marble floors were polished to the point where Donghyuck could see his reflection every time he looked down. The ceilings decorated with dazzling chandeliers while the surrounding walls held ornamental candle-lights._

_Donghyuck didn't really know why theatres had to look so high-class and expensive, but when he looked around and saw how formal and posh everyone looked, he realised that attending the theatre wasn't only a form of entertainment, it was a showcase of rank and societal status; but at the time... he really didn't understand such things._

_"Come on, son... it's starting soon."_

_Donghyuck could only silently nod, partially annoyed and partially curious. Even though he'd rather prefer to be at a newly-opened toy shop, going through aisle after aisle of new-in products... Donghyuck couldn't deny that he did want to know more about his father's expressive interest towards performing arts._

_He decided to get comfortable in his seat, somehow getting the feeling that he'd be here for a while. He overlooked the stage, craning his neck up to get a better look and pouting when he couldn't see properly. His father chuckled beside him and the next thing Donghyuck knew, he was being manually moved until he was sitting on his father's lap, just like he did when he was a toddler._

_Donghyuck didn't understand why his father loved theatre so much. But he decided to make use of the father-son time he was receiving, moments he would treasure for the rest of his life._

_Then it started._

_It was like a door opened to a whole new world of art. Donghyuck couldn't tear his eyes away even once. His gaze was fully fixated on the lights, the cameras, the action, the colours, the movements... the words. Oh, the words. Donghyuck was smart for his age, already highly commended by his teachers in his school, but as he watched on, listened carefully, he felt something._

_There's a graveyard, there are violins playing in the distance; Donghyuck doesn't understand... but he's so entranced by it all that he couldn't even hear his father calling his name._

_The red against the black, the high against the low, the changing of time, place, weather, Donghyuck thought it was fascinating and there was no denying that he simply wanted more of it. He wanted more of the drama, the romance, the fight-scenes, the poetic monologues and soliloquies. There was life on stage and Donghyuck wanted to live it one day. He wanted to know what it feels like to stand there right at the centre, with everyone watching you, but you're not watching them._

_This wasn't some pantomime schools put on to make children laugh, this was professional theatre., all the expenses, the dresses, the stage, the actors and actresses, it was all there and Donghyuck could do nothing but ogle, completely awestruck by it all, wondering how people could make words look and sound like moving and acoustic art, covering all the semantics of literature and drama._

_Even after the show had finished, Donghyuck was still amazed by it all, hopping and skipping in pure delight, expressing how much he wanted to do such things himself to his father, who could only laugh and nod in agreement, happy to see his beloved son sharing his interests._

_"I'm so glad you liked it, Donghyuck-ah." he smiled fondly at the young boy once they got in the car, "When I was your age, my father wouldn't let me go to the theatre, I don't want you to miss out on the importance of art, ok? You're a smart boy and I'll always be proud of you, but there's so much more to life than academics."_

_"Of course there is, dad! How can a person be all work and no play?! It just doesn't make sense!" Donghyuck threw his hands up in exasperation, giggling when his father bellowed in laughter, clearly in agreement with his words._

_"You're right, Hyuckie, you're so clever." he reached down and pulled Donghyuck up into his arms, carrying the young boy to their car, "You'll be the greatest of them all, one day."_

_Donghyuck hates theatre._

_He hated how much of an impact it had on his life. Because, as he's standing under the shelter of an umbrella, black clinging onto his shivering frame and the quiet but broken sniffles from his mother behind him, he doesn't want to attend another performance ever again._

_He could never do that to his father. Not when his beloved dad was laying thirty-feet under, a slab of stone and a few bouquets of flowers adding to the misery of his situation. Theatre wasn't the same anymore, art wasn't as lively as it used to be. Everything felt truly pointless and, for the first time in his eleven years of life, Donghyuck was lost._

_He didn't know how he would cope. He didn't know how his mother would cope. What would happen to their family? Their home? Their lives?_

_Donghyuck couldn't leave anything behind. He stayed there and cried for hours, begging his father to come back and take him to the theatre again. One more time; Donghyuck wanted to go one more time, with his father. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all._

_He wasn't finished. Donghyuck wanted to show his parents so much more. He wanted to be so much more. He wanted to make his parents proud. He wanted to show them that, yes, he will be the greatest of them all, one day._

_'That day will come, that day will come, that day will come.'_

_He listened carefully, fists clenching in frustration and sadness when his mother talked to him, borderline begging him to keep moving on, to not let anything stop him. Donghyuck wanted to be angry at her, lash out when she told him to move forward. How could they move on just like that? His father, her husband, was gone?! He's not here with them anymore. How could they leave that behind and keep going?_

_Moving on was futile. Keeping going was unnecessary. Not giving up yet was worthless._

_Donghyuck thought all that primary caregiver stuff was nonsense. He needed his father, he needed his family as a whole. There wasn't anyone else that he wanted and he couldn't bring himself to leave everything behind that easily._

_He was sick of people telling him "it'll be ok", scrunched his face up when he heard the words, "you're so strong", squeezed his eyes shut to prevent the tears from falling when all that was told to him was, "it will get better."_

_Donghyuck didn't want to wait till it got better, because such a concept was so indefinite. When would it get better? Will it even get better anyway?_

_He did it all. He cried and screamed and broke things. Unleashing all his anger and fury. Only asking why, why, why did it have to happen to him?_

_Was he simply born to be unfortunate? Was eleven the age where he had to start suffering? Was it only going to go downhill from there?_

_Donghyuck couldn't think properly. He couldn't sleep, he refused to eat, he didn't talk to anyone, he couldn't even leave his room. Only after many heated arguments and more broken glass did his mother finally manage to drag him out of his room and actually eat something so he wouldn't starve._

_He planned on not talking to his mother. To be petty and stubborn and refuse affection in any form, since he only took 'affection' as sympathetic comfort from people who didn't know how to console him in his time of need._

_But when he saw the hollowness in her cheeks, the darkness under her eyes, the thinness of her frame and the nimble slowness in her movement... Donghyuck felt sick. He knew he shouldn't have caused more trouble by being a nuisance and troublesome and causing his mother to worry and stress out even more, because when he looks at her, he could see how depressed she had become. How his beautiful mother suddenly lost her golden shine, the shine he inherited himself and took pride in it every where he went._

_Her words were deep and meaningful, her voice dripping with sorrow and resentment and Donghyuck felt every syllable carve their way into his heart._

_"Your father had always been a man of many talents. He excelled in every aspect and wanted to be better than anyone else; first in his studies, first in sports, first in music, first when it came to getting girls' attention. He wanted to be number one, to put it simply." she smiled bitterly at the memory. Donghyuck didn't want to listen, he didn't want hear about her past now. Not when his father was gone._

_"He's so similar to you, Hyuck, he never liked being second best or second to anyone else. He always saw himself as first in everything. No one understood him. No one saw that, when he was second, he looked like he was second, but felt like he was last. He had deep insecurities that came from his desire to be perfect and to be number one. Even his parents didn't understand what he needed to prove. They had taken his love for theatre away from him and the results came out positively just like they expected. They were already immensely proud of him and constantly impressed with his achievements, but your father wasn't satisfied until he remained in first position at all times."_

_Donghyuck didn't like where this was going. He didn't like how he never knew just how much he resembled his father._

_"When we got married, he loosened up a little, but the tension was still there. I think it came from jealousy or possessiveness, but he never liked seeing me with other men, even if I was just talking to them, even if they were work colleagues. During those times, his insecurities would act up again and he'd start to lose faith in himself and confidence in his abilities. He wanted to prove himself to me and show me his best all the time, and I loved him for that, I will always love him for that. But, even to this day, I wish he would trust me more to be himself around me. I wish I told him that even if he was first, or second, or last, that I will love him regardless and nothing will change that. I wish I told him because then... maybe he would've never left in such a hurry, he would've never gotten in the car while he was angry and unfocused. He would've been more aware of his surroundings and he would've paid more attention to the things in front of him." she started crying again and Donghyuck could feel his heart shatter in a million pieces._

_"All his life, he worried about what was behind him, what he could've done, what he should've done to be better, to be number one - he never looked ahead at what was waiting in front of him. Your father was an ignorant man, he was selfish and he should've tried harder, he should've been better. But, if he were here with me now, I'd never tell him that. You can't tell people like him such things, it'll hurt their pride, even if it's good for them to hear."_

_They don't deserve this._

_Donghyuck thinks that the universe will never be on his side. You can't trust fate or destiny, such things don't exist. It's people that make the world turn; it's people that inhabit the earth and make it a place to live the way they want to._

_He won't make any mistakes. He doesn't want to regret anything. He doesn't want to look back every time he does something and wonder whether he did it right or not._

_If he leads a life of perfection and become the person his parents wanted him to be, then he'll be fine. He'll keep living._

_Donghyuck knew he still had a chance, and he knew he needed to make the most of it._

_If his parents expected him to be the greatest of them all, then that's exactly what he's going to be._

Donghyuck couldn't see the audience, but he can hear their bated breaths as he draws his sword out from its case before pointing it directly at his opponent who had fallen to the ground, his midnight blue cape contrasting with Donghyuck's blood red one.

His lines flow out like water and in the corner of his eye, he could see sparkling lights and the little dust particles visible in the beams shone on the side of his face. There's a trickle of sweat running down his forehead from the heat of the atmosphere and he can feel the adrenaline rush through his body as he nears his final line of months worth of preparation and hard work.

"You're not fit to be king!" 

Donghyuck screwed his eyes at his stage-companion, a contestant for the audiences' attention, a challenger for perfect performance economy percentage.

"Wrong!" he declared, diving his sword until the tip reached the other's throat. "It was _I_ who saved my kingdom while _you_ cowered in fear."

Donghyuck smirked when his fallen competitor's eyes widened in fear as he sunk into the ground further, as if begging for the floor to swallow him up so he would die in the earth rather than under Donghyuck's blade.

"I won't make the same mistakes you did. I won't turn my back on these people." Donghyuck lunged his sword forward inch by inch, "The crown... is _mine_."

The heavy sound of curtains dropping, followed by the deafening sound of applause and cheers snapped Donghyuck out of character as he reached a hand out and helped his fellow theatre actor to his feet. The others soon came out and formed a line on the stage, linking hands and waiting for the curtain to rise once more.

Donghyuck loved this part.

He loved watching the curtains rise up, awaiting the enthusiastic reactions on people's faces, basking in their applause and wondering his eyes of their standing ovation.

His efforts paid off and he knew it.

Especially when the performance had officially ended and everyone mingled. Donghyuck received praises and commendations from all around, taking pictures with students, getting all sorts of positive comments from teachers and other alumni. Even having Principal Choi pull him over for a photo with a local newspaper in their area.

"Hyuck! You were amazing!" 

Donghyuck turned around a flashed a bright smile when he saw his friends rush over to him. Renjun handed him a bouquet of flowers before wrapping his arms around Donghyuck's waist and hugging him tightly.

"You were seriously so good!" Jaemin clapped enthusiastically, a bright smile on his face.

"Obviously the best one out of them all!" Jeno added in and the other two nodded in agreement.

"Thanks guys..." Donghyuck beamed, happy to hear such encouraging words.

"Hyung~!!" a body soon collided against Donghyuck's back and the tanned boy could only smile fondly at the familiar sight of two boys.

"You were so cool, hyung!" Chenle grinned widely.

"Yup! I didn't like school plays before... but you were on another level!" Jisung praised with his wide, unbelieving eyes.

"Aww~ thank you, little cuties~~" Donghyuck cooed in a mock-baby voice while pinching the two boys' cheeks, earning groans from the two youngest.

The six boys talked for a little longer, mainly just praising Donghyuck since they truly were proud of him and his many achievements, as well as planning to celebrate later on as well. They continued, until Renjun grabbed Donghyuck's arm and dragged out of the main hall, claiming he needed to "let Jeno and Jaemin take care of their children", said children, Chenle and Jisung, looked as if they were begging someone to take them away from the couple.

"Mark came to watch." Renjun started bluntly once they found a quiet place to talk.

"W-what?" Donghyuck could only blink in surprise, not expecting to hear such a straight-forward statement.

"Yeah... I didn't think he'd come, but I saw him with Lucas and he was watching the entire time." Renjun himself looked surprised by his own words, "Tell him. Don't keep waiting for him, Hyuck. Don't keep running after him or giving yourself to him. He doesn't deserve that much effort. You should just tell him once and for all."

Donghyuck hates it when Renjun's right.

He calculated everything in his life perfectly. He set everything up under one equation: how much effort he would put in over how much attention he would receive, multiplied by a hundred.

He put so much effort into chasing after Mark, hoping to get a sort of reaction that would prompt him to confess, even wishing that Mark might say something first, just _anything_.

So far, Donghyuck got nothing, and the way his equation of life was currently failing didn't sit well with him. He didn't like to be proven wrong, so in order to move forward... he'll just have to confess. He doesn't care about Mark's answer anymore, he doesn't want to keep this up any longer. There's no point in running towards a sun that doesn't set. There's nothing left for him to do except to tell Mark once and for all.

"Where is he now?" he asked, looking at Renjun with a new-found determination.

"I think I saw him in the courtyard-"

Donghyuck doesn't wait to hear more. He pushed the flowers into Renjun's arms. His feet force him into a sprint towards the double doors leading outside.

But a familiar voice stopped him in his travels, just before he could reach the door.

"Hyuckie!~"

Donghyuck jerked his neck, almost straining his muscles from how fast he moved to look behind him. His eyes widened at the sight of his mother standing there with a big grin on her face. Without much thought, he rushed over and threw himself into her arms, hugging her tightly.

"You're here..." he mumbled into her shoulder.

"Of course I am, honey. I couldn't miss your performance." she stated, "I watched it all, you were so amazing, sweetie. I wanted to surprise you!"

"Consider me very surprised then." Donghyuck managed out a laugh, leaning into the way his mother patted his head comfortingly.

"And here I'll stay, I just got everything moved into our new home. We'll be so much closer now." she assured, a pleased and proud grin on her face, one that made Donghyuck's heart warm up in joy, happy to see his mother happy.

Donghyuck didn't want to ruin the moment by thinking about him, but he couldn't help but bring it up. Especially after the way he decided to leave things the last time he visited during winter break.

"Is he- is _he_ here as well?" he asked tentatively.

Donghyuck watched as his mother's smile faltered and he instantly wanted to take back his words and change the topic, talk about his performance, or restaurants they should go eat at, just something that wasn't _this_.

"Honey, we've already talked about this..." she started off, not wanting to elaborate further. Donghyuck already knew what she was going to say, and he'd rather not hear it and ruin the evening he worked hard to end off on a high. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realised that this was reality and that he needed to accept it. No matter how much he wanted Taewoo out of their lives, it was a boulder too big to move all by himself. Taewoo seemed as if he was here to stay and Donghyuck just didn't know how to feel about that.

He didn't want to accept it, but at the same time, it felt like he didn't have much of a choice either.

"Where were you headed off to?" she asked, snapping Donghyuck out of his thoughts while simultaneously switching the subject.

The words seemed to trigger Donghyuck as he quickly realised that he had a goal in mind. An image of Mark quickly entered his head, just like it had done so many times before. He wanted to live a life of no regrets, he didn't want to waste anymore time, he wanted to make sure he tried absolutely everything.

He'd given himself to Mark so many times before, but this time, he'll give himself properly. He'll give his feelings to Mark and pray the older doesn't crush them like he did with his already shattering heart again and again.

"You remember when I told you there was a boy I liked?" he started off, in attempt to answer his mother. He thought back to a few months back when he made a brief phone call to update his mother on what he was doing and how everything was going. He remembered unintentionally slipping up the fact that he had a crush on someone to his mother, and ever since then, his beloved mother wouldn't fail to bring it up every so often, despite Donghyuck refusing to talk about it every time she asked.

"Yeah?" she answered with an eyebrow raise. Her confused expression suddenly turned into a smiling one as she visibly looked over Donghyuck's shoulder to something behind him. "Is that _him_?"

For the second time, Donghyuck turned around, feeling a shiver run up his spine expectantly at who was there, hoping it would be-

_Oh._

Donghyuck didn't expect to see him.

"I'll give you two some space." Donghyuck vaguely heard his mother say to him, before vaguely registering her body moving away, as he vaguely remembered every moment shared with the boy in front of him.

"Seunghun." he breathed out, evidently bewildered at the sight of the other boy.

Seunghun didn't say anything straight away, he just stepped closer, the distance between them closing with a sudden confidence that Donghyuck had never seen from the other boy before.

Soon, Donghyuck was greeted with the sight of an extravagant bouquet of flowers, one even more appealing than the ones he had already received. A colourful array of petals and buds, all wrapped up with a neat, yellow, ribbon bow.

"I'm sorry..." Seunghun started off, but before Donghyuck could interject and protest his apology, arguing that he had nothing to be sorry for, Seunghun continued, "I'm sorry... but I like you, Lee Donghyuck. I didn't get to prove my feelings to you properly last time and I've been regretting it since that day. I know you rejected me, but you can't deny that we had a connection. I want to try again, I'll try harder this time."

Seunghun looked straight into Donghyuck's eyes, stepping closer and closer. Donghyuck was too astonished to understand what was happening around him, he could barely even comprehend the words being said to him. Everything was happening all at once and the last ten minutes of his life went by like a blur.

"I know this is sudden and I know I should've said something before, I should have tried harder to make you stay. I shouldn't have been such a coward." he continued.

Donghyuck didn't know what say.

"So, let me try again. I like you, Donghyuck, and I mean it. This time, I won't make any more mistakes."

Everything happened too quickly and soon, Donghyuck could feel an arm around his waist and his body being pulled forward. His eyes blew open when he felt a pair of lips crash onto his own, a soft yet determined kiss meeting with his lips. 

Seunghun wasn't a coward. If anyone, Donghyuck thought he was the biggest coward on the planet. 

He couldn't bring himself to push Seunghun away and reject him all over again. Instead, somehow, Donghyuck let his eyes flutter closed as he reached up and held onto Seunghun's shoulder, tilting his head to respond to the kiss. 

Donghyuck was tired.

He was just so tired of chasing after people. Of getting angry and annoyed and upset all the time. Of thinking up stupid plans, of wasting so much time and energy running around in circles and just never seeing the finishing line. He was tired of wanting to make progress, but only setting himself up for failure, when failure wasn't even supposed to be in his vocabulary. This entire time, he could've been so much happier, he could've been with _people_ who made him so much happier. 

His father was probably watching him from wherever he was up in the sky. He's probably shaking his head in disappointment with how naïve Donghyuck had been. This isn't how a successful person with aspirations should behave. If you're handed gold on a platter, who are you to deny it?

So when he kisses Seunghun, he kisses him to symbolise a new start. Donghyuck wanted to start over one more time. He also didn't want to make any more mistakes. He wanted to live his days with people chasing after him and not the other way round. He wanted to be the one receiving attention, not giving it. He wanted to be loved and cherished and given affection, not putting his heart up for display, only for it to be broken and left on the floor in pieces.

" _You've tied yourself down, and not tried going out with other people._ " someone once told him, " _You're loyal and faithful for no reason._ "

He didn't need it anymore. He didn't want this undirected and misleading faith. Why would he need such a thing when he could do so much better? When he could _be_ so much better?

Donghyuck also wanted to try.

And when the last thing he hears before the night ends is the sound of flowers dropping on the floor, he'll try one more time.

Donghyuck wanted to love again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhh... i have no words-  
> i mean... i did tell you guys that seunghun was coming back hehehhehe~
> 
> anyway! this chapter was a little sad... i hope you guys were able to tell that the sections in all italics were donghyuck's past/flashbacks. some parts of this chapter are really important for the next few chapters and i think you guys can already tell that this was the end of one arc and the start of another for this story!! 
> 
> a quick notice! i won't be able to update next week... i do have reasons tho :')
> 
> also... sorry if i can only limit updates to once a week.... i've been incredibly busy with school and i should honestly be revising for tests that i have tmrw instead of updating.... but this is more important hehehehhee~ plus... it's my fault for always leaving homework and revision for last minute because i'm just such a good procrastinator :')))
> 
> a lot happened this chapter but, again, its to emphasise the end of a story arc and the beginning of a new one! you guys can probably tell that there are plenty of loose ends that need to be met before i can finish this fic off!! i hope this twists wasn't too surprising! also! i wanted to know if i need to write donghyuck x oc in the tags? i contemplated it before when i was first publishing this fic... but that would give away the plot entirely... so i didn't want to.  
> i probs won't for the benefits of future readers tho :)) i hope that's ok :)
> 
> sorry for any grammatical errors btw :'(( i'm too tired to check them over oof-
> 
> as always!! neo ciittyyy~~  
> a new episode of nct world 2.0 was released today and HOIQNDOQW was it amazing!! it was released while i was in my biology lesson and i was very very sad :( i had to watch all the clips at lunch :(((((( BUT IT WAS SO GOOOD?!?!? the way 00 line cheer for each other i busted the fattest uwu ;-; they were all so cute and funny and so precious! next episode also looks so good!!  
> and we got a full episode of wayv princesses - what a blessing!! also... wayv's tiktok is everything... what is life without it?!!  
> and other members dancing to make a wish!!! woowwooww~~ (make a wish to 100M :)) )
> 
> nct seasons greetings are so pretty!!! i wannnttt theeemmmm :(((  
> most importantly!!!! resonance pt.2 is coming out!! nov 23rd (i'm pretty sure) ainwliuadhiluahdiluqnhlisnqls i can't waitttttt!!! i'm still not over pt.1 :(( i haven't been able to listen to anythign else since it's release!!! nct need to slow dowwnnnn ;-;
> 
> there's plenty more in the world of nct and i literally love wasting my life away watching them :')) i want to say everything that's been happening... but i've seriously got to go study :'(( i say study... but that means more nct and that one game i play almost religiously now :') (i'm seriously so obsessed with it... its dangerous)
> 
> anyway! as i said... there won't be an update next week... but i have a valid reason!! which you will obviously find out next time i update hahahahhaha.... ha :'))
> 
> as always! thank you so much for reading! this fic has gotten so much love and support and i seriously love all the discussion in the comments!! it means the world to me and i can't thank you guys enough!!
> 
> thank you!!!
> 
> see you next update~
> 
> ~Risa <3


	31. twenty nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know when i said that i have a reason for not being able to post next week in the last chapter??
> 
> yeah... this double update was that reason :')

Mark doesn't have time for _people_.

They all come and go anyway. At some point, he knew that such a mindset wasn't a good way to live by, but he had learned that it wouldn't cause him any harm if he didn't care. Because he doesn't. He really doesn't care and, so far, no one's pointed him out for it.

He won't conform for other's preferences. He doesn't want to change himself to be seen highly by different people. It isn't stubbornness, but if Mark had to put a word to it, he'd say that his casual attitude is more carefree than stubborn or heartless.

He knew what he was doing, he could see the reactions in people's faces when he showed them coldness or disinterest. Hurt, disappointment, regret, it was all there etched in their expressions. 

Mark wasn't as mean as people who he rejected would say he was. He felt bad, and even though it was hard to believe, at times, he really did wish he could take back his words, turn back time, and say something different. Something that wouldn't make people so upset. But somehow, for some reason, the words never left his lips. Mark doesn't even remember the last time he properly and sincerely said 'sorry' for whatever he did. 

In all honestly, if he tried harder, maybe he could do just that. 

If he tried more, then maybe Donghyuck wouldn't get hurt the way Mark knows he's getting hurt right now.

"If you care so much, why don't you tell him?"

Mark snapped out of his thoughts and looked up, only to see his brother staring directly at him with an unimpressed look. He briefly recalled that Johnny had to come back home for a while since their father needed help with business and Johnny was inevitably the one to take over in his place. Having his brother shooting him scrutinizing gazes like that caused Mark to shift uncomfortably in his seat, suddenly losing his appetite as he pushed away his plate.

"What are you talking about?" Mark dropped the honorifics, knowing well that he preferred to communicate with the older in their mother tongue instead.

"Not _what_ , but _who_ I'm talking about." Johnny crafted his words so that Mark knew exactly who he was talking about without having to explicitly say it. "You know what, mom's right. You're a little different, Mark. I swear this started last year. All this anger and frustration. You're not even sexually frustrated, you're just really agitated for some reason."

"Who says I'm not sexually frustrated? I don't have any other problems?" Mark retorted, screwing his eyes at the blatant accusation.

"If you were that sexually frustrated..." Johnny started off again, "why is Lee Donghyuck the only one you've kept in your bed?"

Mark's eyes widened, a mixture of betrayal and shock swirling in his stomach with just how exposed he felt from Johnny's words.

"T-that's not true." Mark objected, "I've had plenty of hook-ups... he's not the only one."

"I can tell when you're lying, Mark." Johnny sighed, having known the younger for long and from spending so much time with him, he could already pick out all the signs that gave Mark away when he tried to lie. "What's the point in trying to hide it? You're not going to get called out for it. You're not going to get kicked out from this house or anything. There's no shame in liking someone."

"I _don't_ like him!" Mark slammed his hands on the table, suddenly getting defensive.

"I thought that if I told you that literally know one would care if you liked him, you wouldn't be so in denial!" Johnny yelled, "But you're still so oblivious, Mark!"

"What the fuck?! Who's side are you fucking on?!" Mark shouted, standing up so abruptly, the chair behind him fell back and crashed onto the floor.

"I'm not on anyone's fucking side! I'm just saying that maybe you shouldn't treat Donghyuck the way you're treating him now!" Johnny protested, surprised at just how mad Mark looked at the topic of their current conversation, despite already knowing this fact.

"Why? Huh?! Why should I treat him any differently now?!" Mark asked, almost challenging the older to tell him.

"BECAUSE HE LIKES YOU, MARK! DONGHYUCK LIKES YOU AND-

"I KNOW!" Mark screamed, cutting off Johnny's words completely, rendering the older into a shocked silence as he stumbled to pick up his chair. He crashed back down onto his seat and buried his face in his hands, lowering his voice because he really didn't want to argue with his older brother, "I know he likes me."

Mark had already told Donghyuck.

That night at the Winter Gala, he already told Donghyuck that he wasn't oblivious. He really isn't that clueless. He caught onto every advance Donghyuck made, every time the younger would purposely rile him up to get a reaction, to make him angry and annoyed, to treat him roughly. When Donghyuck started coming to his basketball practises, when Donghyuck started to leave notes for him and secretly bringing him cups of coffee in the mornings, when Donghyuck started to walk further to the convenience store he went to, saying something along the lines of ' the ramen here is better' or, ' the convenience store near campus is closed', even when if Mark went to the store near campus, he could easily say that it was very much not closed.

When he and Donghyuck ended up locked in school together and Donghyuck asked to hold hands, when winter break came around and Donghyuck decided to do something _different_ during their arranged sessions, when Donghyuck agreed to go to the Winter Gala with him and they slow-danced like everything around them was fine. 

When Lee Donghyuck gave him chocolate for Valentines Day, the day Donghyuck proclaimed was a day to spend with your significant other.

Mark isn't blind. 

What he is, is _confused_.

Mark was so confused with everything related to Donghyuck. Even if he knew the intention behind all of Donghyuck's gestures, he couldn't comprehend what was going on in the younger's head majority of the time. He's admitted it before, he's thought about it plenty of times, he'd found himself cautiously looking out for the younger every now and then, wanting to put a location marker on the latter so he wouldn't lose him. Hell, he'd confessed to himself that Lee Donghyuck is cute. That Donghyuck, who was the centre of everything, the apple of everyone's' eyes, the carrier of many hearts, he was nothing short of _beautiful_.

Mark would only say it to himself. Donghyuck is _gorgeous_ , but he doesn't want anyone to know that. He doesn't want _Donghyuck_ to know that.

"Do you seriously expect Donghyuck to agree to whatever you want... just because he can't say no to you?" Johnny raised a brow questioningly, suddenly deeming it safe for him to input his opinion once again, after affirming that Mark had calmed down. "If you ask him to be your boyfriend, that he'll just say yes?"

"Who said anything about me wanting him to become my boyfriend?" Mark argued, no real spite in his tone because he was simply too frustrated with his thoughts to counter.

"Mark, Donghyuck's smarter than that and you know it. You can't just force him to be your boyfriend if you've not tried to make moves on him before. You're supposed to charm him, take him on dates, compliment him, be _nice_ to him." Johnny advised, taking up the role of counsellor for Mark's already unsettling feelings.

"I don't want to be his fucking boyfriend!" Mark snarled, on the verge of lashing out again. He stood up and left the dining room without another word, deeming his peaceful sunday afternoon completely ruined, ignoring the calls from his brother and simply heading for his room.

Mark knows. It's so frustrating and he wants to scream at the top of his lungs, tell everyone that he fucking gets it! He's not dumb! He understands! Stop saying that he's oblivious, because he's really not! 

He knows Donghyuck likes him. He knows that he himself finds Donghyuck utterly desirable. He knows he sub-consciously finds himself looking out for Donghyuck. He knows that Donghyuck's the only one he's been sleeping around with! He knows. He knows. He fucking _knows_!

He doesn't want to date Donghyuck. He doesn't want their relationship to change. Even though he'd never tell him this, but Mark enjoyed their rivalry. At times, it was tiring and a nuisance, but he liked the way they argued. He liked the way they fought. He knew that the hatred and competition they felt was mutual and he even liked it when there were the smallest of instances where they connected over random topics. Sometimes, they liked the same songs, followed the same artists, watched the same movies. Sometimes, they had opinions on the same people, had similar views when it came to judging their society. 

Mark truly did like those moments. As weird as it sounds, he somehow finds disputing with Donghyuck strangely entertaining. He liked the way Donghyuck would get annoyed with his intolerance, he liked the way Donghyuck would chase after him and seek approval for small things, and then throw a fit if ever Mark rejected them. Mark just liked the way Donghyuck was around him. He didn't really know how to explain, but Mark simply liked whatever form of a relationship he and Donghyuck had. 

But now, he realised that he'd been taking advantage of said relationship.

Mark knows Donghyuck could never say no to him. Even if he did, Mark knew Donghyuck would never mean it. And Mark would suck up all pride and dignity and easily admit that he _loves_ it. Mark loves it when Donghyuck can't say no, and such a feeling is no where near new to him.

It's not that Mark wasn't one for change, he'd happily accept change if it meant improving something in a way. But he doesn't want his relationship with Donghyuck to change.

It was one of the few things Mark had kept in a routine. It was organised and he was in control of what he was doing.

Why would he want to change that? Why does Donghyuck want to change that? Why does Donghyuck even like him in the first place? Mark wouldn't give him anything in return.

Mark may understand how Donghyuck feels for him, he's not oblivious to it and he gets it. But that doesn't help him decide on what to do next.

"Are you going to the theatre club's performance tomorrow?" Lucas asked him on Monday in the cafeteria.

"I have to, Principal Choi expects me to be there," Mark answered with a sigh, not wanting to waste away a perfectly good evening for something as dumb as a play.

"Hmm... well, Donghyuck's going to be in it. You should cheer for him." Lucas suggested, "Maybe get him flowers?"

Mark clenched his jaw tightly, wondering why, all of a sudden, Donghyuck had to be the topic of every conversation he had.

"If you start going on about how I need to be nice to him or some shit like that... I'm actually leaving." Mark grunted in annoyance, already moving to pack up his stuff and find another place to study instead.

"Well, that too... but it would just be a nice gesture? Renjun's been telling me how hard Donghyuck's prepared for this play. Even with student council duties, he still came in early in the mornings to rehearse, because he's busy for the rest of the day. The amount of time and effort he put into it is a lot... you should congratulate him." Lucas explained nonchalantly, not taking his eyes off his phone, as if his words didn't elicit a sort of reaction out of Mark.

"I work just as hard, you don't see me getting flowers from Donghyuck or anything like that." Mark refrained himself from trying to take back his words, it was already too late to do so. 

He regretted saying such things as soon as the syllables fell off his lips. He doesn't even care if Donghyuck doesn't bring him flowers for winning basketball tournaments, or getting the highest score in an exam. He doesn't particularly care, because he doesn't want Donghyuck to do those kind of things anymore. It wasn't about flowers, it was more about the little gestures of encouragement Donghyuck left laying around, un-signed, and not-so-anonymous. 

"Dude, you've seriously got to stop internalizing your thoughts and overthinking everything." Lucas sighed, again, not even looking up from his phone to spare the other a glance, "Getting him flowers for a performance he worked really hard on isn't a big deal. You're just making it one."

Mark screwed his eyes at the slight older, getting increasingly annoyed with just how blatant Lucas was deciding to be. It wasn't the first time he experienced this. Now wasn't the first time someone assumed Mark felt anything other than disinterest towards Donghyuck.

It was slowly starting to eat him alive.

The chiming of bells and the overwhelming scents of different aromas struck every one of Mark's senses. The overall fallacy of the atmosphere was warm and calm, the humid climate of the room he was in suddenly forced his cheeks to flush as he followed the line of potted plants towards the small, wooden desk at the far end of the small shop.

Admittedly, Mark had no intention to drop by a flower shop on a Monday afternoon when he could have been tackling the piles of assignments he still needed to do. But the sudden urge to purchase a bouquet of pretty flowers and hand it to the school's _theatre club_ to commend them for _their_ hard work, overpowered any other thoughts.

(In his head, he had no one in particular to give flowers to, so he'll just give them to the department itself.)

"Hi! What can I get for you?" 

Mark tore his gaze away from the line of chrysanthemum plant pots on the left side of the store and turned to face the young girl behind the desk. When Mark stepped closer, he noticed how the girl couldn't have been much older than he was, so he was internally hoping his business here would be quick and easy.

"I'm just looking for some flowers..." Mark rubbed the back of his neck, not entirely understanding why the task was so difficult.

"Well... we have plenty of those..." the girl's eyes widened a little as she gestured around the shop.

Mark felt really dumb. Of course this shop has flowers! It was a freaking flower shop! 

"Y-yeah..." he muttered, a little embarrassed by how foreign his surroundings were and how clueless he currently was, "I want a bouquet, but I don't really know which flowers I should get... I'm not really knowledgeable with these kind of things."

Donghyuck is.

Donghyuck could talk for hours about plants and different types of flowers. Mark could vividly remember a fleeting conversation they had when the latter started talking about how he grew accustomed to having small potted plants everywhere after Mark complained about the issue when Donghyuck introduced a few small plant pots for the student council room. (In his opinion, it was an issue).

"I see..." the girl nodded, "are they for someone in particular?"

"No, they're for a club at my college. They're holding a performance and I thought I should get flowers to congratulate them." Ok, it wasn't entirely Mark's idea, he should at least credit Lucas for basically forcing him to get something for the theatre club.

"Ahhh... well, you came at a pretty bad time." she admitted with a shrug, "It'll be a while till we re-stock since all our best flowers sold out on Valentines Day."

Mark internally winced at the mention of the occasional holiday. He put in the extra effort to make sure no unwanted thoughts entered his head as he gratefully responded to the girl.

"It's fine, I'll take whatever you have." he assured.

"Ok then, is it just one bouquet for the entire club?" she asked, simply and genuinely curious, "Or is it someone from that club that you might want to give these flowers to?" she started writing down words on a piece of paper and Mark was shocked at what she could possibly have to write with the minimal information she actually had.

He remembered Donghyuck telling him that florists liked to know the context behind each requested bouquet of flowers, something about wanting to capture the intention behind the gesture better.

"It's for the club." Mark answered.

"Hmm, ok then." she started, not entirely convinced by Mark's answer, "What colour flowers would you prefer?"

"Any. I'm not too picky." Mark shrugged, glancing around the shop to see if any particular colour caught his eye. "Maybe something bright?" and then he remembered something, "Just not roses..."

"No roses, got it." the young girl nodded, "And a bright colour? How about pink?"

Mark thought about it for a silent second before shaking his head, rejecting the idea.

"What about yellow? Yellow symbolises happiness, and I'm sure that this club's performance will bring happiness to others." she proposed.

In some part of Mark's mind, he thought so too. Just a small part of it though. It's not like he'd ever admit it directly, but the theatre club had a respectful history of holding top quality performance that attracted attention from even beyond school grounds.

"Ok, yeah... let's go with yellow." he agreed, not entirely knowing what affect it would have.

_If he thought hard enough about it, Mark could vaguely recall the time Donghyuck came in in an over-sized, bright yellow hoodie. It was a blinding sight and Mark didn't entirely know what kind of statement he was trying to make by wearing it... but still, yellow suited him._

"And any other flowers you want accompanying the assortment?" she asked again, looking at the boy with a particular glint in her eye.

"Uhh... something that will compliment the yellow flowers?" Mark really didn't know a thing about botany.

"Ok, how about sunflowers? They're rather summer-y, but we've got some miniature ones still left in the back." she suggested.

_Sunflowers? God... Donghyuck doesn't shut up about sunflowers. They have so literal significance, but Donghyuck talks about the like they're the only plant that grows on this earth._

"Yeah, sunflowers would be nice." he answered in confirmation.

"We have some white anemones that would look very nice in the bouquet." she added in.

_White symbolises purity, in Mark's opinion. It's clean, untainted and waiting for corruption. Why does he try so hard?_

"I'll use a purple ribbon." Mark vaguely registers the girl's words, but he nods anyway.

_Donghyuck used to have purple highlights in his hair at one point._

"By the way... what colour are his eyes?" 

"Brown. A hazel brown." Mark answered mindlessly, eyes not leaving the potted plants on display.

It took a few moments.

Mark really wasn't paying attention.

But when everything did register, his eyes blew open and he could only gape at the girl behind the counter in shock, who was busily readying his ordered bouquet.

"W-wait... what?" he found himself stuttering, "What did you just ask me?"

"Uhhh..." the girl looked at him questioningly before answering, "what colour are his eyes?"

"H-how- I... you... it's not-" Mark couldn't form coherent sentences. His brain was all muddled up and he couldn't think straight.

He wasn't thinking about Donghyuck. There's no way he could be thinking about Donghyuck.

"It's obvious that you have someone in mind. There's no way you could think this deep about a bouquet of flowers you want to give to a club at your college." the girl confessed truthfully, "Although, I had to be quite bold with the assumption that it was a 'he'."

"It's not- it's not for anyone in specific..." Mark rejected the thought, too frustrated with his own thoughts to care about anything else right now.

It felt like the entire world was betraying him.

Above all, he really, really hated it when people messed with his private affairs. It was none of their business and the audacity people had to just involve themselves in matters that didn't concern them, should actually be worrying.

"Is the bouquet almost done?" he asked, diverting the topic of the meaningless conversation.

The girl must've noticed the shift in his mood, since she could only nod silently and continue with her crafts, probably regretting her own words.

Mark paid no mind to it. He swiped his card, took the bouquet of flowers and left the shop efficiently, deciding he was too drained to ponder over the lingering thoughts in his head.

Instead, he looked over the flowers in his hand, mindlessly lifting his hand up and tracing the thin petals with his fingers. They were soft against his fingertips, and the whiteness of the anemones complimented the bright yellow flowers that seemed way too out-of-season, yet perfect for the occasion at the same time.

Mark doesn't entirely understand half the thoughts whirling around like a tornado in his mind. But when he looks at the flowers in his hand, everything suddenly becomes effortless.

Mark doesn't know why art is so significant for some people.

He doesn't really get why it's so important or what kind of impact it has on others. Sure, he watches movies and makes sure to catch up on tv series that he likes, and he does sometimes wonder how people could create such masterpieces, all starting with just a pen and paper. But that doesn't satisfy his curiosity behind the process.

He gets that there's a sort of magic behind the art of theatre, something about the way the stage lights feel against your skin, or the heat of the audience watching you expectantly, or the way the words pour of your mouth as one recites lines they've spent so much time learning and rehearsing.

He really doesn't get it.

But he knows that, for some reason, Lee Donghyuck belongs on the stage.

He had heard about last year's spring performance, but he was never interested and ended up skipping the event as a whole. Even though he couldn't get out of this year's performance, Mark was kind of glad he was here.

He had yet to witness the theatrical side of Donghyuck that had everyone falling to his feet, but as he watched the tanned boy glide on stage, as if it was a platform he had drawn footprints on all over, as he watched Donghyuck give into his role and come out as a completely different person, as he watched Donghyuck acting as if there was no one in the room but him... Mark was utterly amazed.

"He's good, isn't he?"

A gentle voice brought Mark out of his reverie of thoughts, causing him to look to his side at the person talking to him, only to see a slightly shorter woman smiling up at him. The woman looked familiar, not someone who he expected to recognise, just a person who had features which resembled another person he knew.

"It's as if he doesn't have any worries when he's on stage." the woman continued, and Mark already figured that she must be talking about Donghyuck. Still, there was a sense of familiarity, as if she knew Donghyuck better than Mark expected.

"Yeah... he's very good and clearly passionate about theatre. No wonder our school values the performing arts department so much." Mark nodded in agreement. It wasn't like he was necessarily lying or anything.

"I completely agree!" the woman nodded enthusiastically, as if taking pride in Mark's words. "He'll become someone great one day."

Mark didn't think about it for long. He assumed that the woman had a close connection to Donghyuck, and if he looked closer, Mark would class her as a relative at least. He found himself nodding along, mindlessly agreeing with her words.

He thought so too. 

Donghyuck is stubborn, naïve and childish, but Mark couldn't help but think that, despite anything and everything, ignoring all obstacles that could possibly obstruct his path... Donghyuck will be someone great.

The bouquet of flowers weighed Mark's arm down just from how tightly he had been holding onto them for. He had managed to slip out of the hall after the production was over, only barely managing to cut his conversation with the principal short in hopes of escaping the increasingly suffocating hall everyone was in.

Mark doesn't know why he lies so often, when he could confirm it to himself that he is very bad at lying.

In other words, Mark doesn't want to admit it to others that he wants to give the bouquet of flowers to someone in particular. He doesn't want to admit it to himself that the person he wanted to give the flowers to, just so happened to be Lee Donghyuck.

Because, no matter how may times he could tell himself that he wasn't bothered in the slightest; he was still bothered. Mark was still bothered by the fact that he misjudged Donghyuck's family circumstances. He was still bothered by the fact that he knows Donghyuck has feelings for him. He's still bothered by the fact that their relationship will never be the same and that he probably needs to figure out a way to tell the younger that he doesn't feel the same way. Or, at least, that's what he assumed he had to do. To him, it would be safer and much easier to reject Donghyuck bluntly like he's done to many others who had confessed to him. He doesn't want to over-complicate things unnecessarily and he doesn't want to keep receiving Donghyuck's gestures, as if he thought about the need to return them.

A part of Mark feels bad. The weight of frustration and something similar to guilt is heavy in his mind and Mark doesn't know why. Every time he thinks back to the amount of times they've ended up in bed together, he couldn't help but wonder how Donghyuck must've felt. Why would Donghyuck continue to do such things?

"Oh, Mark!" 

Mark turned around at the sound of his name being called out, only to see Lucas waving at him, not expecting to see his friend in the courtyard.

"You looking for someone?" the slight older asked, eyeing the flowers in Mark's hand suspiciously.

"Have you seen Donghyuck?" Mark doesn't bother to be discreet with his intentions. He really needs to see Donghyuck.

Mark hates feeling bad. But he hates the thought of making assumptions on someone's background even more. He's not righteous, and he probably didn't treat people as well as he should, but he knew better than to make judgements. He really should have just said something that day at the gala, when Donghyuck told him about his family. If he said sorry then, maybe he wouldn't feel so bad now.

"I think I saw him in that hallway a while ago," Lucas pointed a little further down the corridor they were currently standing in, "but he looked like he was in a serious conversation with someone. I don't know who, though."

Mark knitted his eyebrows in confusion, but brushed off the weird feeling growing in his chest and nodded at the other's words.

"Are those for him?" Lucas pointed at the flowers, probably already knowing the answer to his own question.

"Yeah... I said some things that I didn't mean to say, and now I feel bad..." Mark explained, tossing another look at the bouquet in his hands.

Lucas looks at him weirdly for a few moments, as if expecting something from the younger. Mark doesn't exactly know what he was expecting, but he was starting to grow uncomfortable with being stared down like that.

"You've changed, Mark." Lucas confessed suddenly, no context behind his words, just a pure statement.

"You're the third person to have said that to me." Mark responded, thinking back to how his own family members thought the same way as well.

"Was Donghyuck one of them this time?" Lucas asked, deja vu striking both of them as they remembered a previous, similarly constructed conversation between them.

"... no." Mark doesn't think Donghyuck would ever say such things to him. In all honesty, he's been the most consistent with his fluctuating emotions when he's with Donghyuck.

"Well... you have. I don't know how to describe it, but you're a little different now."

Mark knows there's reason behind all of the strange things Lucas says, but he can't seem to pin this particular accusation down by definition. 

It was as if everyone around him knew something that he simply didn't.

Mark hated not knowing. 

"Anyway, you better give those to Donghyuck." Lucas started, reminding Mark of his previous goal, "And... try to be sincere for once, Mark."

Mark didn't have enough time to get offended by the other's words, since the older had already taken off, leaving him to ponder over his thoughts more than he wanted to.

Instead, he lets his feet carry him down the hallway before taking an almost automatic left turn, his eyes only just tearing away from the polished floorboards beneath him to see if he could spot Donghyuck.

Donghyuck has never been hard to find.

Even now, when Mark can feel his grip on the bouquet of flowers loosening and the sickening feeling of bile rising up in his throat; finding Donghyuck isn't hard at all.

Donghyuck has his back towards him. But, in the empty hallway, with the faint sounds of cheer and chatter in the background... he isn't alone.

There's someone else. Someone who's touching Donghyuck in such a way, holding Donghyuck in such a way... _kissing_ Donghyuck in such a way that Mark can't even think.

Every rational and irrational thought in Mark's head sinks and surfaces over and over again, like a faulty mechanism needing to be fixed, but hadn't been given the right instructions for repair. There are so many automated responses Mark has tingling at the ends of his fingertips, He wants to go over there and tear the two apart. He wants to push that guy away from Donghyuck, he wants to create as much distance between them as possible.

Such thoughts weren't foreign to Mark. He knew that he wanted to ward off all the areas around Donghyuck, he wanted to keep people away from the tanned boy, he wanted to put up walls and barriers so no one would trespass into restricted territory.

But now, as he watched as Donghyuck was in the arms of another, Mark had never felt so out of place.

As if, the scene in front of him was a picture, a picture that he wasn't a part of.

Realisation came in the form of something similar to a dagger, as dramatic as it sounds, Mark felt a sharp tug in his chest. He didn't understand before, there were so many unanswered questions left out in the open that he didn't know what to do with. His plans, his schedules, his routines, it all came out of balance and, somehow, Mark was confused all over again.

Because, after all the time they've spent together, every fight, every argument, every night they spent between the sheets. The times when they got risky and did it in the student council room, or in the changing rooms. The times when they'd run into each other in the most inconvenient of places. The times where they would find themselves in trouble and they only had each other to resolve it. After everything, all the conflicting gestures and contradicting words, after realising that his bed was never left cold; Mark finally understood the fleeting fact that he used to passionately refuse to accept-

Donghyuck isn't _his_.

Donghyuck doesn't belong to him and Mark had been so high up in the clouds, basking in the fact that Donghyuck could never say no to him, that he didn't even realise the strength of whatever connection they had was never even there.

Somehow, this particular situation wasn't like the rest. This time, Mark didn't have the reassurance that Donghyuck would simply come back to him.

Why does Mark want that anyway?

Why does he want Donghyuck to come back to him?

To him, is Donghyuck _that_ irreplaceable?

He doesn't know how to feel.

The flowers drop out of his grasp. A small set of mini sunflowers with white anemones and long green leaves clattered onto the floor.

Mark stumbled back slightly.

The sight in front of him is strangely unbearable and he hates it. He hates that his feet are forcing him to turn around and leave. He hates that he can't stand the sight of Donghyuck with someone else, the possibility of Donghyuck doing things they usually do... but with someone else that just wasn't him.

He doesn't care about the flowers left on the floor, he needs to get out of there and figure his out his thoughts.

Mark could barely scramble through the front door of his house, suddenly met with a frosty coldness he didn't know the walls of his house could actually reach. No one was home, no one was there to talk to. He was in an empty, cold house, with the only thing accompanying him were his heavy thoughts that weighed him down like a burden.

A part of Mark felt stupid. He felt really, really stupid for not acting on the smallest of instances where he felt something towards Donghyuck. All those occasions where Mark shared the younger's warmth as they mixed in the sheets. In every one of those moments, Mark must've felt _something_. And he only realises it now when Donghyuck is with another. It's stupid, it's cliché, Mark doesn't like the affects his thoughts have on him. But the feeling in his chest is close to suffocating; the absence of warmth, comfort and scent of vanilla that he can only correlate back to a certain tanned skin boy. All the oxygen in the atmosphere, all twenty-point-nine-five percent of it, suddenly dissipates into a cease of existence-

Mark can't _breathe_.

He doesn't know how long he's been leaning against the cold wall for, too mentally drained to get up and turn on the lights; but there's a knocking on the front door. Mark forced himself up onto his feet and checked the time on his phone, his eyes stinging when his phone screen displayed too much brightness for how dark the hallway area of his house was.

The knocking doesn't stop, and Mark can't ignore it even if he wanted to.

Begrudgingly, he opened the door, not expecting anyone at this time in the evening.

_Donghyuck._

Donghyuck is right there.

There's a small flicker in Mark's chest that ignites a sort of hope that this was all a really bad dream and that this night never actually happened. He's not thinking such thoughts, he's not experiencing such emotions, everything is back to normal - like how a routine should be.

"Surprised you're not too tired..." Mark forced the cockiness in his tone, trying to make it seem like he hadn't been drowning in his thoughts only a few moments prior.

"Trust me, I'm exhausted..." and there was another lilt to Donghyuck's words that made it seem like he wasn't only referring to the production that titled the very same evening.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Mark raised a brow, noticing how the younger simply stood with his hands linked behind his back and a sullen look on his face, an expression Mark couldn't decipher.

Mark really wanted whatever he saw tonight to just be a bad dream.

To his surprise, Donghyuck nodded in response to the subtly-rhetorical question.

"I actually came here to tell you something..." Donghyuck started, balancing on his foot awkwardly in hopes to distract himself. Strangely, Donghyuck couldn't meet Mark's gaze.

"What is it?" Mark prompted, clenching and unclenching his fist, trying to release his pent up confusion and frustration in small movements.

Donghyuck let out a bated breath, one that sounded as if he had been holding it in for a long time.

"We've been doing this for a while now, hyung..." he started, "and I just realised that I'm... I'm really _bad_ at whatever _this_ is."

The words don't make sense, and Mark can tell Donghyuck is beating around the bush. But, at the same time, he doesn't want the younger to get to the point.

"I don't think I can keep doing this." Donghyuck's gaze is completely fixated on the floor, and Mark doesn't have the words to tell him to look up, he doesn't know how to tell the younger that he wants to see his eyes when they talk.

"I'm sorry I occupied all your time by keeping this up for as long as we have done..." he started again, "but I think we should stop now."

This wasn't a bad dream, Mark realised. This is reality. Everything that happened throughout the course of this evening... it all actually happened. And now, he's facing the aftermath of it all.

"We shouldn't do this, Mark hyung." Donghyuck lifts his head up and, for the first time, Mark sees a glistening in the younger's eyes that he's never seen before. A few layers of haze covering the brown of Donghyuck's eyes, that only sparkle under the moon above them.

"Let's stop seeing each other."

The words don't process in Mark's head. Mark knows he's heard them, and there aren't any other sounds that could possibly interrupt the translation of the words into his brain, but they just don't stick. 

And before he could even say anything in response, Donghyuck turned around, his body gradually creating distance from the door he had knocked on so many times before.

Mark doesn't think he's thinking straight anymore, because there's really no reason to explain why he's reaching out.

The muscles in his arm move automatically, and the next thing he knew, Mark had grabbed hold of Donghyuck's hand, stopping the latter from moving any further.

_It's warm._

Donghyuck's hand is warm. Donghyuck is always so _warm_.

Donghyuck doesn't turn to face him, and Mark doesn't think he wants the younger to turn around either. He doesn't want to see the kind of expression the younger's wearing.

Mark can't even say anything. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't understand why he wants Donghyuck to stay with him, to come inside and continue with the rest of their night like they usually do.

His thoughts are cut short when he feels Donghyuck's hand slip out of his grasp.

" _No_ , Mark." is all Donghyuck manages to utter out, before quickening his pace and walking down the pathway until he was completely out of Mark's line of sight.  
Mark could only trail after the younger's retreating figure until there was nothing left for his eyes to chase after.

He didn't understand why he thought Donghyuck could never say no to him.

When he clearly can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY!   
> look at me trying to guilt-trip you guys into liking mark :(( you guys don't know how badly i wanted to tell you guys not to hate mark too much throughout this fic... since the very start, a lot of people accumulated really negative opinions about mark and i completely understand that!! i hope you guys will understand from his point of view and understand how he'll try to become better!! :)) i'm going to be honest here... but writing this chapter really triggered my anxiety, and i sincerely apologise to those who might've felt the same way. it is never my intention to induce such feelings. i actually felt really bad inside when i was writing this, to the point where i felt like crying. this chapter can't compare to others and i know that, but sometimes, just some chapters... they instil some sort of discomfort in my chest that i can never seem to get rid of... i don't know how to explain it :(( 
> 
> i hope you could tell that this was just the previous chapter, but in mark's pov. it's still the same story arc ending, but the ending of the previous chapter was quite predictable, and people in the comments did wonder whether it was actually mark who dropped the flowers. i knew people were going to suspect that... so i decided to just post the chapters together instead of making you guys wait a week :) these two chapters are linked together anyway... so i hope you liked them :)
> 
> as i've said, i won't be able to post next week and i hope this extra chapter can make up for that. i've got a oneshot in the works that i might be able to post next week to make up for the lack of update for this book... but if i'm unable to do that, please know that i'm busy with school as well as writing new chapters for this fic!!
> 
> hopefully you guys are ok with how this is going so far and i really can't wait for you guys to see how this story formulates from now onwards!! the upcoming chapters will still be in a mixture of pov's.... but it's pretty obvious that a lot of it will be in mark's pov from now on - but i'll still be including a bit of hyuck as well, since his pov is also important. i might do it like these last two chapters - to have an event and write chapters from both sides.
> 
> i'm sorry for making you guys wait this long to let this happen... please forgive me hehehhee~  
> and i really hope you guys can see how mark goes through this as well! 
> 
> i'm so excited to start the new arc! hopefully, it'll be shorter, but just as dramatic! and then we'll have a suitable and, hopefully, satisfying ending!!
> 
> i've already talked about the things happening in neo city in yesterday's post... but today we had the twitter blueroom live for resonance pt.2 !! i seriously can't wait for the two groups!! omg they're going to be sososososooso cool!!! hopefully... we'll get more markhyuck moments in this new comeback... but even if we don't - it's markhyuck supremacy through and through!!! 
> 
> anyway!! i hope you liked this chapter... sorry if its not what you were expecting... but i can promise that next chapter is a little- uhhhhh...  
> you may expect one thing... and i might give you something completely different! but i know you guys trust me with this, and i think we've all been sharing similar ideas in terms of the plot... so i think you guys will know that i'll try to show you guys what you want to see as well! 
> 
> i'll also spend a sufficient amount of time replying to comments! i'm sorry i wasn't able to reply yesterday for chapter 27 (?), i'll reply to those comments and the last chapter's comments!! you guys leave such nice comments and i read them every day! i get the emails and i get a tingly, excited feeling before i read comments!! i can't wait to reply to them! i'll try to be quick with the replies... but i've been so busy and now i'm really tired... i will get round to it before next update!! thank you guys so much for engaging with this fic!!!
> 
> i hope this fic is doing well enough and that you guys like it so far :))
> 
> thank you all so much for your support and endless mounts of really amazing and descriptive comments! i really love the way you guys analyse the chapters and input your opinions!! and it means so much that you guys think about this fic as well!! hfioneoieodqia thank you thank you!!
> 
> as always!! thank you so much for reading this fic!!! 
> 
> see you next update !!! :))
> 
> ~Risa
> 
> (p.s: some of you were curious as to which game i'm currently playing that has me so distracted... the game is actually genshin impact! i've been playing it for an unhealthy amount of time... it's very dangerous since i have a very hectic school schedule :')) but oh well... hehehe)


	32. thirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back with another questionable chapter that i'm not entirely proud of but decided to post anyway bc i'm desperate to make this trope WORK-  
> :)
> 
> hope you like it!!
> 
> AND THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND 15K+ HITS?!!?!? BRRUUHHHH-  
> i seriously love you guys!! i really hope this fic will meet your expectations!! ;-;

Lee Donghyuck has always been a popular figure amongst the students of Seoul International.

Which is why it barely took a day for everyone to find out about the romance between him and Kim Seunghun, the football team captain. The news spread like wildfire and it soon became the hot topic for gossip and discussion.

Those who were asked, all responded positively to the news, delighted to hear that their beloved student council vice president was in a relationship. Even though there were still some who remained envious of the fact that the vice president didn't belong to everyone anymore. 

In the distance, you could see the new couple spending almost every non-working hour together, talking and laughing like their topics of conversations were endless. From afar, it was a perfect little bubble that no one could enter or interrupt.

From the other side of where the couple were currently doing their couple-related things, student council president, Mark Lee, was absolutely _fuming_. Usually, the cafeteria would be silent for a period of time amidst the presence of the deathly glares Mark and Donghyuck would be sending each other. But those glares weren't there anymore and nobody seemed to be questioning it.

Except for Mark, of course, who still insisted on glaring daggers at the back of Donghyuck's head, while the latter was busy laughing at some stupid joke his so-called boyfriend was telling him.

"He's not going to glare back... you know that, right?" Lucas nudged the other with his elbow, having observed his close friend looking in a particular direction for a good ten minutes now.

"I'm not expecting him too!" Mark protested, "I just think it's very unnecessary for them to flirt so openly in the middle of the cafeteria. I think I should issue out a new rule, something along the lines of 'no public display of affection in communal areas'."

"You're ready to do that just because Donghyuck has a boyfriend?" Lucas raised a brow at the younger, almost in disbelief of his own words, "When there are plenty others who do the exact same thing?"

"Well, at least others keep it discreet!" Mark argued, "Look at them! They're all over each other!"

Lucas looked behind him at the table on the far end of the cafeteria, and all he could see were Donghyuck and Seunghun sitting separately, talking casually, and not even behaving close to an actual couple, despite being one. He looked back at Mark and refrained himself from letting out a deep sigh.

"This should be a good thing for you, Mark. Your arch enemy, as you refer to him as, is out of your hair. You can relax now, maybe even find yourself a girlfriend or boyfriend as well?"

Mark jerked his head to face Lucas with an almost offended look.

"Why would I need to do that?!" he all but yelled.

"So you could stop obsessing over Donghyuck and let him live?" Lucas muttered under his breath, not expecting the other to hear... but Mark clearly did.

"I'm not obsessed. I'm just..."

"-jealous." Lucas finished off for him, "Yeah, I know. It's very obvious."

"I'm not _jealous_ either. Where are you even getting this from?" Mark looked back at the open book in front of him. He had a test coming up for his economics class and he really couldn't afford to waste any time not studying. But, recently, he found himself to be way too distracted to actually get any work done, which proved to be a massive nuisance in his study timetable.

"Ok, you know what?" Lucas started, before reaching out and swiping Mark's book off the table and putting it in his bag. Mark had been too slow to even react to what just happened. "There's a party tonight and I really think you should go. Actually, I'm not giving you an option. You're going."

"Wait... what?" Mark looked appalled for a spilt second before rendering to his usual judgemental look, "How could I even think about going to a party when I've got a test to study for?"

"How could you even think about studying for a test when you've got a taken boy on your mind?!" Lucas countered easily, half-regretting his words when he saw the surprise and shock etched all over Mark's face.

"He's not..."

"Yeah, yeah, you're not obsessed, you're not jealous, you don't think about him at all... I get it." Lucas didn't in any way intend to sound cold or mean towards his best friend, but said best friend needed to face reality and stop being so in denial. He knew Mark, and he knew that the latter wasn't the kind of person to hold onto things or people, going about his life by the idea that people come and go anyway, so there was no point in being attached. 

Which was primarily why Lucas thought Mark had changed. 

Mark had changed to the point where his attachments to people who weren't close to him, had strengthened. It was a strange sight to see, and Lucas didn't entirely think it had as much of a positive effect on Mark as he would've hoped. Because, every time he would catch Mark looking at a certain someone with a certain something gleaming in his eyes, all Lucas could see was an unhealthy amount of desire. He didn't know what it was and he didn't think Mark knew either. But it wasn't perfect, when Lucas knew that the two people involved demanded perfection.

"Whatever, just forget about everything for now. You're clearly stressed... I'm sure a few drinks will help relieve you!" he assured, returning to a cheerier side of himself that would hopefully appeal to his friend.

"Yeah... yeah, maybe you're right." Mark didn't know the singular reason as to why he could possibly be stressed - he just was. The kind of stress that you could feel building up inside you like cholesterol in your blood vessels - bad and unwanted.

"Of course I am." Lucas shrugged with a nonchalant smirk, "I'm always right."

Mark let out a small laugh, shaking his head as he punched Lucas on the arm playfully, internally grateful that the older was always there for him.

Mark didn't necessarily mind parties. Actually, he was a popular face when it came to attending the biggest parties, as well as hosting some of them as well.

He couldn't really remember who was hosting this particular party, but he intended to find out later on when he saw the admittedly impressive selection of drinks set out in the kitchen. He had to excuse himself from multiple conversations just to squeeze through the crowd and get to the drinks. Unfortunately, luck didn't seem to be on his side since, as soon as he got near the bar area, he was forced to witness the sight of Lucas furiously making out with Renjun, who was perched on the countertop.

"Move, idiot." Mark shoved Lucas to the side with a grumble, startling the taller out of his heated exchange."

"Mark! Why you gotta be such a cockblocker?" Lucas whined, his tone (and breath) already laced with alcohol. Even Renjun, who Mark thought to be a little more decent than majority of the school's population, was fixated on trying to get Lucas' lips back on his.

" _You're_ blocking the booze, man." Mark sighed, "Go suck faces somewhere else." 

"Fine... be salty by yourself then." Lucas huffed like the over-grown child that he is, before taking Renjun's hand and dragging the latter off.

Mark only shook his head at the two, before turning back to make some sort of mix of concoctions to finally drown out his worries. The plastic cup only managed to reach his lips when, suddenly, he realised something.

If Renjun's at this party... doesn't that mean Donghyuck's here as well?

Donghyuck loves parties. Maybe he's always been one for the intensity of the atmosphere, because he always finds himself liking how everything is around him, how bright things are, how dark thinks are, how colourful things are. It's a little hard to explain, but Donghyuck could feel something similar to exhilaration rush up inside him when he's in the centre of a crowded room, loud music blaring from the speakers, and absentminded bodies moving and dancing to an unmatched beat, but with matched lack of care.

He liked the way all entities within the room had no supposed attachments with each other, as if they were just beings in co-existence. Sure, he knew his friends, he knew he had a boyfriend, (who he should probably go find)... but disregarding all of that, Donghyuck was simply a loose piece of string in the giant ball of yarn that was this very party.

That's really how it should be, people shouldn't get into fights, or get offended by whatever goes on at a party, Donghyuck doesn't want to get involved in such things.

But there's a dark corner of the room, where he can see a certain someone pressing another random person against the wall, and he can't help the sick feeling rise up in his gut.

_Why is Mark Lee here?_

Donghyuck didn't want to see the older outside of the student council room, he didn't want to be reminded of how foolish he had been for so long. He just doesn't want anything to do with Mark anymore. And seeing him now, intimately dancing with some girl as if no one was watching them, Donghyuck was reminded exactly why he didn't want to see Mark.

Parties aren't places to get offended and Donghyuck knows this. 

But he has to forcefully tear his eyes away from the sight before someone catches him looking. He has to talk himself through everything because he's worried that someone might see, that someone might question his intentions.

In the other corners of the room the party was most lively in, Donghyuck could see his friends celebrating like one would do before they must restrict themselves from excessive social interactions due to tests and exams coming up. They're laughing, dancing, kissing, moving together... they're having fun and Donghyuck feels like throwing up.

"Hey, babe." a familiar voice snapped at Donghyuck's attention, causing him to turn around to see who it was.

"Hey~" Donghyuck pulled on a smile when he saw Seunghun behind him, watching as the other's arms moved to wrap around his waist.

"What are you doing all alone, Hyuck?" Seunghun asked, letting their bodies sway gently.

"I was gonna find you, but then I got distracted." Donghyuck tilted his head to the side, jolting at the way Seunghun started pressing kisses along his neck. 

"How could you get distracted?" Seunghun started again, "When I'm pretty sure _you're_ the distraction."

Donghyuck chuckled at the sly words, turning around in the other's arms and connecting his hands behind the taller's head.

"Am I distracting you?" Donghyuck put on his infamous smirk, his eyes half-lidded as he looked up at the other suggestively.

"So distracting... I couldn't keep my eyes off you." 

Donghyuck could only let out giggles, the words sounded weird and left a fluttery feeling in his chest. He had people flirt with them from all around, asking him out and trying to confess, but the way Seunghun was speaking to him was so intimate and playful... it was strange and he didn't want to believe the words he was hearing, as if they were too high of a praise for him to receive.

"Who's up for a game of spin the bottle?!" someone yelled over the bustling crowd within the room. That was enough to get Donghyuck's, as well as everyone else's, attention as soon, the living room piled up with people who wanted to play.

"Wanna play?" Seunghun asked him.

"Hell yes." Donghyuck quickly nodded, before taking the other's hand and leading him towards the circle that had formed for the people that wanted to play.

A circle of a sort formed when everyone managed to push away couches and tables so there was space for people to sit down. Donghyuck was about to find a spot next to Renjun, but a tap on his shoulder prevented him from moving any further.

"Donghyuck-ssi~?" the said tanned boy turned around, only to see a girl looking up at him with something similar to pleading eyes.

"Yeah?" he prompted her to continue.

"Could you ask Mark oppa to join our game?" she asked and Donghyuck had to refrain himself from cringing at the use of honorifics.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Donghyuck genuinely wanted to know why, all of a sudden, there was a group of familiar students looking at him expectantly, as if he was their envoy within this particular situation.

"He'll say no!" one of them reasoned.

"What makes you think he'll say yes to me?" Donghyuck already hated the idea of having to talk to Mark. Why are they even doing this to him?! Can't they see that he's been trying especially hard to avoid Mark as much as possible?!

"Of course he'll say yes to you! He always agrees with everything you say!" another protested, adamant with her suddenly bold statement.

"That's not even the slightest bit true. I don't know where you got that from." Donghyuck sighed, wanting nothing more than to move away from this topic.

"Please, Donghyuck-ssi?" the first girl asked again, borderline begging, and Donghyuck wondered why everyone felt the need to involve Mark Lee is some way shape or form.

"What's going on here?" Donghyuck looked to his right to see Seunghun slide in next to him, "You coming, babe?"

"Seunghun-ssi! We were just asking Donghyuck if he could ask Mark oppa to join in our game." the girl explained before Donghyuck even had the chance to open his mouth.

"Because everyone knows that only Donghyuck-ssi can ask Mark oppa for things." another inputted.

"Sounds more like you're too scared to ask him yourself." Donghyuck huffed, crossing his arms. Do people seriously believe that? Since when has Mark ever listened to a thing he's said before? Where did such an assumption even come from?!

"Hyuck, it's not a big deal. Just ask him and then we can play..." Seunghun smiled warmly, trying to be rational about the situation. 

Donghyuck held back a groan in his throat. He knew it wasn't a big deal, but that was to everyone else. To him, Donghyuck didn't want to talk to Mark more than he really had to. And this was one of those occasions where he doesn't need to talk to Mark.

But, at the same time, he can't explain this to Seunghun. He can't tell Seunghun that he doesn't want to talk to Mark out of something short of fear that everything will go horribly south if he slips up and says the wrong thing.

"O-ok then..." he nodded slowly, letting Seunghun kiss the side of his head, before bracing himself to find Mark in the crowd.

With every step he took, Donghyuck could feel his heart rising into his throat. His palms suddenly became damp with sweat and the heat of the party had never felt more uncomfortable. It truly never did feel uncomfortable before, but now... Donghyuck thinks it's absolutely suffocating.

Maybe he's been trained with the art of finding him amidst other people before, because Donghyuck faced absolutely no difficulty when it came to his eyes latching onto Mark's figure. There's a pain in his chest as he draws closer to the older, his brain telling him to fuck this entire thing up and make someone else ask him. But, even if he wanted to, he _can't_. He doesn't want anyone to misunderstand.

He hesitates, but simultaneously feels proud of himself when he manages to tap Mark's shoulder gently, trying to get the older's attention. Donghyuck must've underestimated the aim of this particular request, because when Mark turns around and their eyes meet, Donghyuck felt sick all over again.

Donghyuck can't look anywhere else. He can't detach his eyes from Mark's and the entire reason why he was supposed to even talk to Mark in the first place quickly vanished from his mind. He caught the way Mark's eyes widened a little, probably in surprise, before rendering to their usual coldness, as well as something else Donghyuck knew was specially reserved for him only. An intensified level of dislike that Mark only had swirling in his eyes when Donghyuck was around. The feeling of knowing that Mark didn't like him, previously taunted Donghyuck to no end, and, for some stupid reason, it still does.

He doesn't want to be here. Donghyuck doesn't want to stand within Mark's presence any longer, he doesn't want to be under Mark's gaze, he doesn't want to remain as the victim of Mark's hatred anymore.

It's awkward between them, and Donghyuck doesn't even know how to start a conversation. All their previous casual and effortless interactions have suddenly become foreign to them, as if they never happened.

"What is it now?" Mark's words struck a chord in Donghyuck's mind and the latter couldn't help but feel a sense of deja vu.

Oh, the amount of times he's heard those words before.

"We're playing spin the bottle..." Donghyuck mustered up all of his courage to start off, "and some people wanted me to ask you to play."

"Why didn't they ask me themselves?" Mark raised a brow, barely sparing a glance at the group of party-goers behind the latter, who waited in anticipation for the president's approval.

"I-.... I don't know." Donghyuck answered, eyes flitting to the left briefly.

Mark obviously caught the subtle movement, but he decided not to bring it up. Instead, he stepped closer, letting their personal bubbles press up against each other for the first time in a while.

"Are you sure _they_ wanted me to play?" Mark muttered lowly, as if he only wanted Donghyuck to hear his words, "Or was it someone in particular?"

There was a certain implication behind the older's words that Donghyuck didn't know whether he wanted to pick up on or not.

"T-they wanted you to play." Donghyuck answered honestly, not daring to meet Mark's scrutinizing gaze. 

"You're stuttering." Mark stated, pointing out the obvious, "What is it, vice president? What's making you so nervous all of a sudden?"

There's nothing worse than asking a nervous person why they're nervous. Especially not when the only thing suitable enough to push Donghyuck over the edge of a nervous breakdown was the very boy right in front of him.

"What? Are you scared of me?" Mark joked, but his tone had no humorous lilt to it.

"Of course not!" Donghyuck hastily denied, screwing his eyes and glaring at the other, the cold sweat down the side of his neck forcing him to stand up for himself.

_Yes._

As much as he didn't want to admit it, Donghyuck was scared. He was utterly terrified. Worried that his feelings for Mark would surface again and he would end up breaking his barely-healing heart even further, as if it could get any worse. Stressed that the no one could get through to him like Mark could. Anxious that, no matter how many times he tells himself to stay away, to not think about him, to not speak to him, to not even be near him... that Mark will return into his thoughts like he never left in the first place, like a train arriving at the same station time and time again, a recurring circuit with no end. Donghyuck didn't understand why his affections were more of an endless loophole, simply circling the same grey area again and again, never seeing any light or dark. He doesn't want anything to do with Mark Lee, but even if he's fully convinced by that fact, Mark could still step closer to him, he could still bring their faces only inches apart, he could still say such things as if they don't have a painful impact on Donghyuck's heart.

He's not going to make the same mistake again.

Instead, he stepped even closer, only to lift both hands up and push Mark back by his shoulders, ensuring that his own expression was void of any emotions.

"I don't care if you join or not." Donghyuck shrugged, "Do what you want."

He doesn't bother searching Mark's face for a reaction, he doesn't wait long enough for a response. 

He doesn't want to see Mark's face, and he'll gladly walk back into someone else's arms to emphasise that very fact.

Mark finds himself between two girls in a circle of partially-drunk, partially-high college students. He briefly falls into a wave of sub-consciousness as he thinks back over a previous engagement.

There's no going back for them, and when Mark realised that the 'them' he was referring to was him and Donghyuck, he couldn't help but wonder whether it had always been like this. That, if there wasn't an _us_ between them... there was at least a _them_.

But Donghyuck won't talk to him. Donghyuck won't engage with him. Donghyuck won't even look his way.

Instead, he goes over to the other side, where his boyfriend is. 

Mark can see them from the far side of the circle he's sitting in. Donghyuck's almost directly opposite him, and the diameter of the circle wasn't too wide, but the distance felt more like they were miles apart than only mere metres. 

"Mark~ it's your turn..." 

Mark tilted his head to see the girl next to him pat his knee lightly. He pursed his lips at the gesture and forced his eyes to train on the empty, glass bottle in the centre of the circle. He would've let out something like a scowl at the feeling of being touched so casually by someone whom he didn't even know, but his brain was yet to function at its full limit, and Mark's almost certain that his mind is probably clouded with too much alcohol and other things to think straight anyway.

He doesn't really care about the game, he lost interest after the first couple of rounds, barely even remembering the two or so people within the circle that he had to make out with. Mindlessly and with evident lack of interest, he reaches out and spins bottle, before shuffling back to his place, watching tiredly as the bottle continues to spin.

It's hypnotizing - the way the bottle continues to rotate, turning to the point where Mark doesn't think it will ever stop. Either that, or Mark doesn't want it to stop. He doesn't have the energy to deal with another random face he doesn't recognise and be forced to emotionlessly kiss them (not that he's ever really kissed anyone with emotion before). He doesn't know whether it's the alcohol, or maybe a drug, or maybe the echoes of gasps and whispers and mutters reverberating through his ear drums. All he knows is that _something_ is happening, but his senses barely register it. It frustrates him - the fact that he's losing his composure and his agility all in one go. 

The bleariness in his eyes manage to clear up a little, as he trails a path along the carpeted floor to the bottle, which had managed to stop spinning. He wonders over ever glistening sparkles of light against the near-transparent, green glass, all the way till the spout where it points directly away from him. People are talking, discussing, gossiping. But Mark doesn't hear anything else when a familiar voice speaks up.

"Spin it again."

At that, Mark looked up completely, his eyes continuing to follow the imaginary path on the carpet all the way up until he meets a pair of hazel brown orbs, the same ones he looked into barely an hour prior to his current predicament.

"Fuck sake, Mark Lee! Spin it again!" Donghyuck yelled at him, and Mark had to take a whole moment to realise that the bottle he just spun was pointing directly at Donghyuck. He then had to use a separate part of his brain to register the fact that he's actually playing a game, a game which requires the two people on either end of the bottle... to _kiss_.

"What the fuck-" Mark could barely utter out, only understanding now why people had been exchanging words of shock and slight fear.

_Mark Lee and Lee Donghyuck? Student council president and vice? Infamous enemies throughout the entirety of Seoul International? Kiss??!!_

"Do it!" someone yelled amongst the silence, and before either Mark or Donghyuck could snap at them, they fled from the scene of the crime they possibly created.

The two words alone triggered a short uproar from those within the circle and, soon, everyone started encouraging the two to actually do it.

"I want to see it!"

"Oh my god... I didn't think this game would actually get that intense..."

"This took a turn."

Amongst all of that, Mark could see both his friends and Donghyuck's friends trying to reject the appeasement of the idea. 

Mark didn't think much of it, he looked back at Donghyuck, who also didn't engage with the fiasco that was currently going on. In fact, he looked rather annoyed by it, pissed over the fact that he was on the receiving end of Mark's dare.

Mark didn't know who said it - it vaguely sounded like Renjun - but someone said something that lightened a sudden fire in his chest.

"He's got a boyfriend! Stop it!" 

For some reason, the words didn't sit well with him, and a burning fire must've ignited in his chest. Hot and painful, a prickling heat that almost combusted with the amount of alcohol swirling in his system.

Wordlessly, Mark stood up and walked the remaining distance across the circle towards Donghyuck. He took the younger by his arm, ignored his protests and dragged him off, quickly getting lost in the crowd when he could see Seunghun getting up to chase after them.

Mark didn't know why the 'he has a boyfriend' card needed to be pulled out on his turn, when he's pretty sure Donghyuck kissed other people during his spins, and Seunghun didn't seem all that bothered by it. Why Seunghun even agreed to let Donghyuck play in such a game would forever remain a mystery to Mark.

If Donghyuck was _his_ , Mark would never let him do that.

"Mark! Let me go!" Donghyuck tried to pull his arm out of the older's grasp, looking back to see if anyone was following them, but their were too many bodies obstructing his line of sight, it was too loud, too hectic, too messy - he couldn't do anything.

Mark managed to secure them in a small closet room, one used to hang up coats and stash a surprisingly impressive selection of umbrellas. He didn't say anything else, he didn't need to when their bodies were so close to each other. He pressed both his hands against the wall, trapping the younger boy between his arms, internally preening at the way Donghyuck was looking at him with those big, hazel brown eyes of his - the third time they've looked at each other like this in the span of only one night.

"W-what are you doing, asshole?" Donghyuck muttered, reaching his hands up to push against Mark's chest, trying to create distance, which was near impossible in the confinements of the room they were in.

"Since when were you allowed to drop formalities?" Mark tilted his head slightly, clearly mocking the latter.

"Sorry then, asshole _hyung_." Donghyuck gritted through his teeth, "Now get the fuck away from me!" he continued to hit Mark's chest and shoulders repeatedly, thrashing his legs as much as he could to force Mark away, but the older just wouldn't budge.

Instead, Mark took Donghyuck's wrists and pinned them on either side of his head, before pushing up his knee against Donghyuck's right leg, effectively stopping the younger's struggles.

"I've got a dare to complete." Mark simply stated, eyes never leaving Donghyuck's.

"You're meant to do it in the fucking circle, stupid. And I told you to spin it again!" Donghyuck tried to loosen the grip on his wrists, but Mark only tightened it, "Get lost!"

"I've got to do it. I don't back down from a dare." Mark explained, his voice void of emotions as he brought their faces even closer.

"Just go take a shot then! It's not a big deal!!" Donghyuck yelled, eyes widening in something short of fear when he felt their breaths mingle.

This _always_ happens.

Oh _god_ , this _always_ happens.

Donghyuck could literally feel the oxygen levels in his lungs deplete slowly, as if he's only surviving on the air he could feel on his lips when Mark leans closer. Whenever they were this close in the past, never getting any further, Donghyuck thought they were sharing the same air supply, as if the particles in the atmosphere outside their bubble were different to the ones on the inside. It's different to anything his lungs had him breathe in, and Donghyuck doesn't know whether it was the after effects of any possible drugs he might have taken, or maybe the alcohol talking, or maybe the heat he could feel in his body when Mark brushes their noses together.

_No._

No, no, no, no, _no_!

Progress. Fuck! Progress! Progress!

Donghyuck chants the words in his head like a silent prayer. In all their singularity, the words don't make any sense, just subordinate clauses in a grammatically incorrect sentence. He tried shifting and shuffling, praying that the wall behind him would open up so he could fall through. Just _anything_ , anything that could get him out of this situation.

It isn't fair.

Donghyuck had always wanted to be in this situation with Mark before, he tried so hard to get to where he is now in the past. But now, he doesn't want it. He doesn't know why Mark's doing this to him. 

Panic only floods his senses when he could feel Mark's lips brush against his. He wanted to scream, his eyes well up with unshed tears and his legs felt like they were about to give way and second. 

He won't give in.

_Don't give in. Don't give in. Don't give in._

Donghyuck has everything he's ever wanted right now. And that everything is probably waiting for him on the other side of this door. He can't do this. He doesn't want to do this. He didn't want to throw away his progress when he barely had the chance to start.

"You're shaking."

The words are soft against his lips and Donghyuck feels like crying. The grip on his wrists loosen and he can feel the warmth against his body pull pack, letting a sudden cold jolt through him.

"M-Mark... please." Donghyuck all but begs, his shoulders trembling slightly. He felt sick to his stomach. He felt like a liar, a cheater, someone who didn't deserve respect in any form. Someone who's limbs lost all their energy, and so couldn't physically stop the situation from happening on their own.

"Donghyuck, I-." the words cut off in his throat. Mark couldn't say or do anything else. Donghyuck's entire body was rejecting his presence as a whole. Donghyuck didn't even want Mark near him. 

Donghyuck is _scared_ of him.

And the thought was so sickening that Mark didn't even register what had happened next.

The door opened and a third presence had invaded them. Mark didn't want to look up to see who, because he already knew exactly who it was.

That very person was calling for Donghyuck, before pulling him towards them, encircling their arms around Donghyuck's frame and holding him tightly, before leading him away.

Mark could only stare at the blank wall that he previously had a pretty, tanned skin boy pinned up against. 

Mindlessly, he punched a tightly clenched fist against the wall, wishing all his pent up frustration would be released into the hollow surface. They weren't released, but Mark couldn't help but try.

This party is kind of dead, in Mark's opinion.

He's been hanging around the pool for quite some time now, just lounging on a chair in all his solitude, accompanied with peace and quiet. He could hear the remains of the party fading slowly, assuming that everyone was probably getting ready to leave. In all honesty, he wanted to get out of here. He wanted to get out of here for quite some time now. It's cold outside and the only thing he can think about is how his lips are still warm if he brought his fingers up and touched them.

There's something building up inside him. Something that Mark considers dangerously similar to a feeling of _regret_.

He's not regretted something in a really long time, always being the kind of person who considered every option before making a choice; purposely doing so, just so he wouldn't second-guess anything afterwards, just so he wouldn't want something to happen differently. Just like how people come and go; time, places, events, they're all ever-changing, and Mark simply wanted to go through his academic years of life trying everything out adversely, only to have the excuse of saying he did it all. But, right now, Mark doesn't think he's made a good decision. Every previous decision he's made has left him happy and proud of himself, but that's the complete opposite of what he's feeling right now.

At the same time, Mark wanted to go back inside, back to the dispersing party, and find _him_.

There's nothing Mark hates more than loose ends. And whatever he had with Donghyuck, was left at a very, _very_ loose end. He needed some clarification, to find out whether his previous presumptions were correct.

If Donghyuck truly had feelings for him.

He thought he could get an answer tonight. That, if he kissed Donghyuck there and then, he'd find out if Donghyuck still likes him, even though he's dating someone else.

This entire thought process was confusing, because Mark didn't really know what he'd do if he managed to obtain that piece of information. What if Donghyuck still has feelings for him? What then?

Mark assumed that nothing would change, since Donghyuck's got a boyfriend now, and there really is no reason why he needs some sort of closure from the time they spent together. Because, as much as he could say that their entire arrangement meant nothing to him, the fact that they spent over a year doing this still weighed down his thoughts. If they spent so long keeping up with each other in such a way, shouldn't they talk about it? Doesn't Mark at least deserve some sort of explanation? Such valuable time, that he initially spent with others as well, but then gradually couldn't be bothered to move around so much - he spent it with Donghyuck.

 _Whatever_ \- Mark wanted to think. It's useless having such thoughts weigh one down. He could easily go back inside, get an answer, leave, and then never have anything to do with Lee Donghyuck outside of the student council ever again. 

That must've fuelled Mark's reasoning enough for him to do just that. He got up, pocketed his phone, that he had previously been using to distract himself (and failing to do so), and headed back inside, where the party was almost completely over.

'Maybe he's not here?' he thought as he looked around. As if on cue, Mark felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

He hastily took it out, only for his pace to lessen when he saw that it was just a message from Lucas.

**Yukhei:**

i'm taking renjun to our dorm.  
don't come over  
thanks :)

Great. So he's been sexiled. 

Not that Mark had any intention of staying in the dorm tonight anyway, no matter how convenient it was since the campus was only a five minute walk from this house.

He typed back a quick reply, assuming that if Lucas left with Renjun only now, Donghyuck might still be here.

Mark looked around for a while longer, passing by a multitude of unrecognisable faces, but not seeing the one he wanted to see. He was close to ending his search and leaving, opting on crashing for the night and contemplate the idea of skipping classes tomorrow, only to deem that he's never done that before and he doesn't want to insinuate new habits. With that thought in mind, Mark stepped through the threshold of the last room he hadn't checked in. He probably should've started with the living room, actually, since that was where the life of the party was only moments ago. It definitely would have shortened his search time, because there Donghyuck was... passed out on the couch.

Mark could see Seunghun half-on the floor in a similar state, and that alone elicited something similar to a grumble to emit from Mark's lips.

"Fucking useless..." he muttered, stepping over Seunghun's body with little care, "why they fuck are you even here if you can't even look out for your boyfriend?"

He wasn't talking to anyone in particular, knowing that literally no one was around, or sober enough to hear what he was saying anyway. Instead, he reached out for Donghyuck's slouched figure, taking the plastic cup from the latter's hand, and hauling the younger onto his feet. Mark didn't think too much about it; he wordlessly bent down slightly and hooked his arms under Donghyuck legs, quickly using a hand to wrap Donghyuck's arms around his neck. He made a point to step over Seunghun again instead of walking around the other side of the couch, mindlessly dodging any other obstacles in his path as he went outside. 

'I'll just take him to his dorm...' Mark confirmed with himself, knowing that Donghyuck would probably misunderstand if he woke up in Mark's bed instead.

Somehow, Mark was glad Renjun was staying with Lucas for the night; he really didn't want have to face any questions from the latter, because they were only going to be questions he didn't know the answers to.

He knew Donghyuck always carried his dorm key around, and if Mark thought about it, he could remember the latter telling him about his 'fear of being locked out of his dorm and having to spend the night in the hallway', or something like that. So, with much struggle, he managed to pull out a small key with a strange, lion keychain out of the pocket of the latter's jeans - which were way too tight to actually look breathable. (Just saying).

Mark didn't really know what to do next. All he wanted tonight was some sort of resolution, clarification of any sort. Yet, here he is, placing his person-in-question down on their bed with so much gentleness, he doesn't want to ponder over his thoughts any longer.

Internally, Mark was glad that he was the one who took Donghyuck to the safety of his dorm. Because, in the end, he still didn't know who the host of the party was, and he didn't want to risk leaving Donghyuck in a place he wasn't familiar with, all vulnerable and open like that.

Vulnerable and open to the things that Mark wanted to do right now.

Mark glanced over Donghyuck's sleeping figure. Eyes tracing the latter's flushed cheeks, a light pink hue decorating his nose and cheekbones, as if they were blushing. His dark eyelashes fanned over the pink in his cheeks prettily, and Mark almost regretted glancing further down to Donghyuck's lips.

_His lips._

Donghyuck's lips made Mark want to throw away all his morals and do _something_ to the younger. A part of Mark's brain - he assumed the non-functioning part - screamed at him to _take_ Donghyuck in his current state. To undress him and kiss him all over, and the thought is just so, _so_ fucked up. It's so messed up how Mark's thinking about such things when he's not allowed to. That, as much as he wants to deny it, Donghyuck has a boyfriend, who he just left at that party in favour of bringing Donghyuck to some place safer, a place that was _supposed_ to be safer, but Mark himself knew that his own presence wasn't letting that happen.

There's no reasonable explanation as to why Mark wants Donghyuck back in his bed, or why he kind of wished they never broke off their arrangement. 

But when he surveys his eyes over Donghyuck's figure on top of plush, white sheets... he can't stop himself.

He leaned over the younger, bringing his face further down until he could feel Donghyuck's warm breath tickle his lips. He couldn't help it, he hadn't been able to get the thought of kissing Donghyuck out of his head after almost getting to actually do it. As if he was moving on auto-pilot, Mark let his hand crawl up Donghyuck's shirt, only for it to rest on the latter's waist, feeling the burn of warm skin against his palm.

Mark thinks that no one could really blame him for being overly curious of how Donghyuck _tastes_. 

Intrigued by whether the latter's luscious lips were as forbidden and as fruity as he assumed they were, just by their appearance alone.

_Kiss him._

_It wouldn't be the first time._

Mark doesn't want to take advantage of someone like this. He doesn't want to take advantage of _Donghyuck_ like this. But that feeling of regret he had been contemplating over previously, surged up again. He always tries different methods to ensure he's done it all, but right now, the only thing he's missing out on is kissing Donghyuck.

"No, Seunghunnie..." 

Mark's eyes snapped open (although, he didn't really know why he had them closed in the first place). He stared at the younger incredulously as the latter mumbled in his drunken sleep. He couldn't pick up the rest of whatever Donghyuck was saying, too preoccupied with his own thoughts, which forced him to jump back, almost throwing himself onto the floor in shock.

_Fuck..._

There was no way. 

Holy _shit_ , there was no _way_ he was seriously about to do that.

Mark slapped a hand over his mouth, suddenly feeling sick enough to throw up. He darted his eyes between Donghyuck's sleeping figure and the clock on the far side of the room. The affects of the alcohol he had spent the evening consuming were fully kicking in now, because he could feel bile and all things nasty rise up in his throat. He had to forcefully swallow them back down, leaving an evenly worse and bitter taste stinging in his mouth. He felt like a fool, diving in too slowly for a kiss - the second time he's tried tonight. 

_How pathetic._

And Mark only fully accepts just how pathetic his situation is when he hears another's name fall from Donghyuck's lips.

This is how it should be, right?

Mark shouldn't have tried to take advantage of Donghyuck like that. He didn't want to, but he couldn't stop himself, and now that he realised what he was almost about to do, Mark knew this wasn't right. That, trying to do such things to someone who belonged to someone else... it was wrong.

Even now, Mark doesn't know how he was able to do it for so long.

When he looks at Donghyuck's lips - how was he able to _resist_ for so long?

It's a meaningless gesture, one that shouldn't elicit such a painful confliction. It's just a kiss. But, at the same time, it's a little more than that. Mark doesn't want to be wrong with anything he does. He doesn't want to regret it later. He doesn't want to accumulate new habits. It doesn't make any fucking sense and Mark wants to pull all his hair out because seeing Donghyuck like this now, he hates that he waited so long to do something that would only last a split second. 

But he can't do that now. He can't reverse time and try a different route in order to obtain a new result. And, at the same time, he doesn't want to see the expression Donghyuck wore when they were in that closet together. He doesn't want the younger to avoid him, or resist him, or withdraw any feelings he may still have. He doesn't want Donghyuck to be scared of him, or beg for him to stop when he hasn't done anything, or ask for him to leave when he hadn't yet laid a finger on him. 

_"I don't want to hurt you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clarification: the "i don't want to hurt you" line is supposed to mimic what hyuck and mark both unknowingly and simultaneously end up saying in their heads.  
> i wonder why tho hehhehe~  
> (sorry if it wasn't that clear in context)
> 
> anyway!! yes! it has been 2 weeks since i last updated and i'm very sorry for that! school has been such a pain and even now, i want to write a long note like usual and tell you guys about my week and all the stuff happening in neo city rn... but i have A STUPID FREAKING BIO TEST TOMORROW SO I HAVE TO REVISE :((( (it's always bio...ugh)
> 
> anyway! i hope this chapter wasn't too surprising? when i was replying to comments in the previous chapters, a lot of you mentioned how you wanted to see seunghun and donghyuck moments, which i completely understand! i will write them, but they're mainly in passing bc i don't want to make it seem like markhyuck's dynamic isn't important anymore since they don't have a physical relationship holding the together. in fact, their relationship/dynamic no onwards is more important in their development as characters!  
> especially since this chapter was primarily in mark's pov (except for that section in hyuck's pov) - i wanted to emphasise their relationship through mark's perspective ? basically... there will always ben markhyuck in every chapter, even if their relationship is different now, since they stopped their whole fuckbuddies thing :)
> 
> i tried to convey how mark's really confused about why he wants hyuck so much, while hyuck just doesn't want anything to do with mark and he has to forcefully remind himself every time. but now that their interactions are even more forced, they're both realising things they never did before :')  
> (i'll try to explain it better later on)
> 
> anyway... i hope this chapter wasn't too much of a disappointment. again, i would like to say a MASSIVE THANK YOU to everyone who's been reading and supporting this book 30 chapters in! i'm so so grateful to be encouraged and supported in such a nice way, so thank you guys so so much!! i really appreciate it ;-;  
> ugh... i really don't know how else i can say it... thank you :'(((
> 
> OK! neo city!!  
> AUHDBLAIFHNDLQ RESONANCE PT 2 IS COMING ON MONDAY!! WHICH IS ONLY LIKE... 3 DAYS AWAY!!! HNDAULIA I CAN'T WAIT !!! ITS GONNA BE SOSOSOOSSO GOOD!! The highlight medley wasbufhnlais fcking top tier ! i hope they release track videos for these songs as well!! raise the roof sounds sososos cool and chenle was doing a dance for it on his radio show... so i hope they perform it!!
> 
> there's also been so much content lately!! so many vlives that i've had to catch up on!! and a new episode of nct world 2.0 as well!! those episodes seriously brighten up my week :(( the 90s love pics are so FUCKING HOT BRIHANOSDHA hyuckie looks so pretty and cute and handsome and ughhbluasndu they all do... ten's hair giving me tbt yangyang vibes hehehe~ and sungchannie is so cool i want to cri-  
> i really can't wait for monday!! :((
> 
> AHSONDOQ THE WEEK I DECIDE NOT TO UPDATE AND MARKHYUCK ARE THRIVING THAT ONE TIME- y'all know the vlive i'm talking abt-  
> i really really reaallllyyy hope we get more than just CRUMBS... i just love markhyuck
> 
> WE ALSO GOT NOMIN MOMENTS IN jeno, jaemin and xiaojun's vlive and omgnuahodiqwnq they're bfs i said my peace-
> 
> ugh resonance give me more of my otp pleeaseeee
> 
> ok... so i need to emotionally and mentally prepare myself for resonance pt 2 (even though i'm not yet over pt1 - it's only been a month!! there's no way i'm ready!!! ;-;)
> 
> anyway!! thank you so much for reading!! i will reply to the comments from last chapter a little later (bc i need to revise :')))  
> i sincerely appreciate all the love and support you guys give me and this fic, even if feel undeserving of it! it makes me so so happy!! thank you guys very much!!
> 
> i hope this update was ok? 
> 
> thank you for reading!! see you next chapterrrr~~
> 
> ~Risa <3


	33. thirty one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahandhlaslnoaw it's late.... but i have my reasons :')
> 
> reason being that i wanted to post this one late bc i don't really like it as much, but i'm SUPER EXCITED TO POST THE NEXT CHAPTER - so i was trying to make the distance between this update and next update as short as i could :') we'll see how it goes...
> 
> anyway! i don't know whether it was obvious in the tags... but OCs play a major role in this fic... i hope that's ok :)
> 
> hope you like this chapter! <3

Mark hates conflict.

He hates fights that brew up unnecessarily, ones that force him to intervene and stop whatever's about to go down before it, well... before it actually _goes down_. They're completely pointless and he's pretty certain they only happen because college students are overly hormonal human beings with pent up anger and stress that they just want to release through their fists. Why people can't just solve problems in a civil, democratic way is beyond him and he'll probably never understand what kind of argument could be so heated, it would need physical acts of violence to solve.

His current situation only caused him to ponder over his thoughts even more.

It had been a perfectly slow, perfectly boring Tuesday morning in the student council room, and Mark was content sitting at his desk, tackling the new pile of paperwork he didn't even know he needed to do until the moment he saw the stack of sheets on his desk at the start of the day. Usually, he'd internally complain about the workload, knowing he had assignments for his classes to finish on top of that, but he couldn't bring himself to get annoyed. The student council room was a nice place to collect one's thoughts.

If only his process of thought collecting wasn't suddenly cut off by someone barging through the door (without even knocking) and effectively ruining his morning.

"There's a fight in the cafeteria!" one of the committee members exclaimed.

Mark could only let out an annoyed sigh before quickly leaving his desk and following the person who had barged into the student council room and disrupted his peace only moments ago. He really didn't know why a fight would even break out all of a sudden, and he almost didn't want to believe one was actually going on, but there were shouts and loud noises coming from the cafeteria, so the latter assumption was quickly proven wrong.

Once he entered, he could see a visibly large group of people surrounding a table right in the centre of the cafeteria, while ironically being the centre of attention of those who overlooked whatever drama was going on.

When Mark got closer, he could already see some other student council members, as well as the vice president himself, already standing there, trying to appease the situation. What he didn't expect to see on one side of the conflict, was none other than Lucas himself.

_Great. What has the almighty Wong Yukhei gotten himself into this time?_

"What's happening here?" he started once he made himself present within the scene.

"Mark, you're here! Great! Now you can tell this asshat over here that, just because the school's football team sucks... doesn't mean they can talk shit about all the other clubs." Lucas glared the most menacing daggers from his eyes, and Mark assumed that the other was really worked up by this. 

"Is this seriously what this is all about?" Mark raised a brow, eyeing the circle of people who had drawn up to see the supposed 'fight' take place. "I get dragged out of-"

"It's not only that." 

Mark cut his sentence short when Donghyuck interrupted him, the latter stood with crossed arms, looking clearly unimpressed. Mark had to think about his words again, suddenly feeling a little stupid by what he was saying. He took a mental step back. He just got here, he doesn't know the context of the situation, he shouldn't judge so quickly. Mark knew all of this, he applied these few rules everywhere he went, but recently, things feel like they're spiralling out of his control, and this very lack of control is what's causing him to lose grasp of his authority, forcing him to question and re-think everything before saying it out loud.

"Right..." he spares Donghyuck a glance, before dragging his eyes back over to whoever seemed to be on the opposite side of this not-so-pointless argument.

" _President_." a tall guy, with bleached blonde hair that looked as scratchy and as dead as hay, smiled over at Mark, a clearly very superior-looking smirk, as if he knew Mark personally.

"What's his name?" Mark quickly turned around and whispered to one of the student council members.

"Choi Minsoo." someone replied in an equally hushed voice, not wanting to offend the person in question, since the president clearly didn't know who he was.

Mark made a noise of acknowledgement and let his eyes shift back over to Minsoo. Now that he was looking properly, he could see the way the collar of Minsoo's shirt was crumpled up, as if someone had grabbed hold of him with a sheer strength. It must've been Lucas, but Mark really couldn't understand why someone as carefree as his best friend, would get so worked up to the point he'd end up getting physical with a person who pissed him off.

"Is there a problem here?" Mark asked, knowing part of the reason behind why Lucas was angry, but he still didn't deem it as a good enough reason to why a fight was bound to start in the next few moments if Mark couldn't solve whatever issue had arisen.

"Not really." Minsoo shrugged, "Seunghun and I were just discussing our next football match and how we've only got one for this entire season while the basketball team have four." 

Mark didn't even know Seunghun was part of this conversation until he glanced at the table next to them and saw that the boy was, in fact, there. He could only assume Donghyuck as well as his friends, were also sitting at that table, since the chairs around the table were moved in a sense that people were occupying them only moments before he came.

"And Lucas here showed up and started an argument." 

Mark wanted to roll his eyes at how obviously and blatantly Minsoo targeted the blame on someone else. 

"I don't know what happened before I arrived, but if you're talking about the amount of matches you guys have; the football team has only got one match for this season because they haven't won enough games for other teams to invite them to future tournaments." Mark stated factually, "I've got records of the previous games if you don't believe me."

There was a sort of silence that Mark absolutely _loved_ to be in. The kind of silence that made it seem that whatever he just said, whatever he just proved, was too correct to be proven wrong.

"Bullshit." Minsoo spat, suddenly getting annoyed at the way everyone in the cafeteria was looking at them, "It's not our fault this college doesn't invest in the football club as much as they do the basketball, or theatre, or art... or whatever dead club there is here." 

"It's really not that big of a deal..." Donghyuck sighed, looking as if he had to refrain himself from pinching the space between his eyebrows in annoyance, "you can't blame the fact that other clubs are thriving, just because yours isn't."

"Well, if this prestigious fucking college funded our club better and actually got us a useful coach, we wouldn't have such shit luck." Minsoo argued, and Mark only now realised that the other seemed to have a very bad temper, since he quickly got offended by everything said.

"It isn't about luck." Mark countered, "You've got a team, you've got a captain and you've got the game... a coach is only really there to make sure you come to practise and you're training as hard as you should be. So, how good your coach is isn't really the problem. If you have a good team... then no one's stopping you from having more seasonal games." obviously, Mark knew this well. Being the basketball team's captain for three years running was a pressurising job, especially since he had other titles upon his head that he had to live up to and make sure he was showing one hundred percent every time.

"Whatever." Minsoo rolled his eyes, "Clearly, this school only prioritises basketball as well as that dumb art shit. Who the fuck cares about theatre and music? This is college... not kindergarten."

"Performing arts is just as important as sports!" Donghyuck quickly retorted, feeling the need to clarify the importance of having a variety of options to choose from instead of sticking with a path everyone else was taking.

"Exactly. At least the art program is doing better than the football club." Renjun shrugged, unknowingly referring to the other part of the conflict that had yet to surface.

"Don't get it wrong. The football club's doing perfectly fine as well." Seunghun cut in, speaking up for the first time, "We're just saying that other clubs have more benefits than we do. Especially the basketball club."

"Because the basketball team actually win our games and tournaments, as well as maintaining top stop in the league across the city." Lucas reminded, almost bashfully, evidently proud of their achievements.

Mark found it funny how Minsoo looked as if he was about to explode with anger, just by how red his face had become. He could hear whispers and snickers from different corners of the cafeteria, forcing him to hold back his own laughter.

"It's not like the football team can't do that as well. We're just not as supported as you guys are." Minsoo stated angrily, before suddenly referring his attention to where Donghyuck was standing, "Not to mention that the school spends all their money towards putting on fucking plays and art exhibits."

"Again, we produce quality results!" Donghyuck reminded, "Don't blame us."

"Yeah... and those art exhibits and plays raise money for charities as well," Renjun inputted, wanting to speak on behalf of the art department as a whole, "at least we get more out of it."

"I'm just curious..." Minsoo started slowly, before stepping dangerously close to where the other party of the argument stood, "why spend so much money on gay shit like that?"

"That's fucking it-" Lucas lunged forward, but before he could even touch a hair on Minsoo's head, Mark quickly intervened, grabbing a hold of Lucas' arm and dragging him back, ignoring the older's curses at him.

"Ok, you went too far there." Donghyuck huffed, anger evidently seeping through his pores, even more when all Minsoo did was shrug carelessly and laugh, when nothing about what he said was funny.

"What? I'm just saying. Right, Seunghun?" Minsoo looked over at the other, "As captain, it isn't fair that your team don't get the same amount of support and funding as every other team has. Even the music department are well-funded. Isn't that a little pathetic?"

Seunghun couldn't say anything in response. He wanted to hate his teammate for being so stupid and mindless with his words. But, beside his revolting language, he had a point. The football club weren't given anything, and he was sure it was all down to biased opinions in the end, since, wordlessly, everyone preferred the basketball team, or other clubs.

"What about you, Jeno? Show us some loyalty at least. You're our best player!" Minsoo looked over at the boy, who could only scowl in response.

"I'm more embarrassed to be on the same team as a homophobic loser like you." Jeno snarled, screwing his eyes at the person he once called his teammate. Jaemin himself could see how angry his boyfriend looked, and he completely agreed... whatever this Minsoo guy was saying, was clearly leading down a dangerous path.

"What? It's true, though." Minsoo rolled his eyes, which only seemed to piss everyone off even more. "I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is that you don't know when to shut your mouth." Mark grimaced, standing directly in front of Minsoo, "It's one thing asking for more games for the season, and a completely other thing to bring down other clubs."

"Then why don't you do something about it, _president_?" Minsoo smirked, probably thinking that he was all clever and might for provoking the student council president.

"Why should he?" Donghyuck interjected, " _You're_ the ones losing games."

"You said it yourself, it's not a big deal." Mark added, "Win games, get more matches in a season. It's not that difficult to understand."

"Those conditions don't really work with me." Minsoo shook his head, as if mocking the student council as a whole, "Why don't we put some clubs on hiatus for a while? Like the theatre club! They just had their performance last month... so there's no need to keep funding them."

"What the actual fuck?!" Donghyuck clenched his fist tightly, before shooting Seunghun a look, nodding his head in the direction of Minsoo, silently trying to tell the other to do something.

"Uh- wait, Minsoo-" Seunghun quickly got up after acknowledging Donghyuck's glances, "there's no point in dragging other clubs into this... we have to settle this by ourselves."

"You don't seriously think that, do you Seunghun?" Minsoo raised a brow at their football captain, "Don't start changing your opinions just because your boyfriend in vice president. You've always hated the basketball team."

Mark rolled his eyes at the addition of the unnecessary comment.

"I- I don't _hate_ them." Seunghun visibly tensed up, probably from the fact that two of the most popular members from the basketball team were staring him down judgingly. "Look, that's got nothing to do with it. Come on... we should go practise and win that match at least."

"Ahhh... I guess there's not much convincing a biased heart." Minsoo shrugged, "Oh well, it was just a suggestion. Isn't that what we're supposed to inform the student council? Our concerns and requirements? If all the other clubs have privileges... shouldn't we?"

"The only concern you should be having is whether you win your next game or not." Mark easily countered, deeming this entire situation completely pointless and really not worth wasting a perfectly good morning when he could have been doing work.

Minsoo looked as if he was about to throw a punch right in Mark's face, but he held back, trying to control himself - which Mark had to refrain another eye roll for.

"If we win, can you listen to our needs?" Minsoo suddenly requested.

"What needs?" Mark just wanted to go back to the student council room and work.

"Halt other club activities until the football club's in better shape." Minsoo stated, "It would be a shame if the prestigious, Seoul International's football team didn't make the cut as an actual club, just because the school prioritised other clubs."

"You have to actually win first." Donghyuck huffed, evidently unimpressed as he ended up sharing Mark's un-phased reactions towards everything that came out of Minsoo's mouth.

"We will..." Minsoo assured confidently, and beside him, Seunghun didn't look confident at all, "and the theatre club should be the first to go after we do."

"Minso-"

"You don't get to make such decisions." Mark cut off whatever Seunghun was about to say, not even hearing his words from how quietly the other muttered them, "Win or lose, it doesn't matter to us. You get to decide what happens to your precious football team anyway by the end of the season."

Minsoo's face darkened, but Mark paid no mind to it, already expecting the other to have such a reaction. It wasn't very sportsman-like, and he briefly wondered what actually went on during football training and practises to make their team members so bitter.

"Minsoo, there's no point in arguing. Let's just go." Seunghun tugged the other by his arm, not wanting this to blow up. That, as well as the fact that Donghyuck didn't look entirely impressed, so he at least wanted to take the upper hand.

"You're right." Minsoo's eyes never left Mark's, "There's no point in arguing against the president and vice. Once they're together... they're unstoppable, aren't they?"

There was a lilt to Minsoo's voice that neither Mark nor Donghyuck could ignore. Actually, probably everyone noticed how there must have been another implication to his words.

"Obviously, that's why they're on the student council committee..." Seunghun sighed, being the only one not to pick up on Minsoo's tone. "They have to work together."

"Mhmm... they do. They work _very_ well together, actually." Minsoo added in, a smirk still high and proud on his lips.

"What are you even talking about Minsoo?" unknowing to most, the likes of Renjun, Jaemin, Jeno and Lucas exchanged wary glances at how clueless Seunghun was. This was a really bad time for things to blow up. A _really_ bad time.

Meanwhile, the only thing going through Donghyuck's head was 'Not now, not now, not now. _'I don't want to fuck this up, I don't want to fuck this up!'_ He wanted to punch Minsoo right in the face and wipe that stupid smirk off his lips. What did he even know anyway? He could be trying to wind them up! He doesn't know a thing! No one knows!

Mark didn't know who this Choi Minsoo guy even was, but with his uncontrolled, cocky attitude, Mark already hated him. He glanced to the side and saw how worried Donghyuck looked and he assumed the latter wanted to decrease the possibility of Minsoo full-out exposing them in the middle of the cafeteria with his boyfriend right there.

 _'The things I do...'_ Mark mentally sighed.

"There you go again trying to drag other people into your problems." Mark glared at Minsoo, standing his ground, "If you don't want me to cancel the only match you have for this season... then you should probably go start practising, since you're clearly all-talk and no play."

That must've hit the nail on the head, since Seunghun nodded in agreement to the words, sent Donghyuck a look (which had Mark rolling his eyes again), and efficiently pulled Minsoo away from the scene before Lucas ended up getting annoyed with his presence even more.

"That asshole..." Mark heard Donghyuck mumble from beside him, "who does he think he is?"

"It's finished now." Mark turned to direct his words to the tanned boy, noticing how the atmosphere around them suddenly shifted with so much awkward tension, you wouldn't even be able to cut it with a knife... a chainsaw probably. "Don't be late for the meeting."

"I know that." Donghyuck huffed, crossing his arms and screwing his eyes at the older. The thought of thanking Mark for shooting Minsoo down before he could say any more did pass by in his mind briefly. But still, Mark was horrible to him at that party. Mark has been playing with him this entire time and Donghyuck's sick of it. So he'd rather keep that 'thank you' to himself because Mark didn't deserve it.

In the corner of his eye, he could see Lucas and Renjun talking - mainly just Renjun trying to calm down an angry Lucas, but still. He made an effort to brush passed Mark, flitting his eyes to the older briefly before deciding to leave the whole situation behind like it never even happened. He'll just talk to Seunghun later because, even though Donghyuck was pissed by whatever Minsoo was saying, he at least expected his own boyfriend to say something a little more. But not much could be said, so Donghyuck didn't pay too much attention to it.

There were seriously too many people out there who annoyed him to death.

And if the sight of student council president, Mark Lee, and vice president Lee Donghyuck, visibly going their separate ways didn't already create a new level of tension within the cafeteria, the only other question that was left lingering in the air was just how much of an unstoppable duo Mark and Donghyuck really are.

"Hey there." 

Donghyuck was greeted by the unfairly good-looking sight of Seunghun when he opened the door. The taller was leaning against the door frame, clad in a varsity jacket and faded blue jeans that had rips over the knee-caps. It was mainly a force of habit, but Donghyuck liked to analyse the clothes people would wear. Ones fashion sense said a lot about the person, and Donghyuck couldn't help but think that Seunghun's style was overly effortless and attractive. Two concepts he's been wanting to pull off for a while, but constantly found himself too busy to be either of the two, if not both.

"Hey~" Donghyuck grinned.

"Ready to go?" Seunghun questioned.

"Obviously!" the tanned boy assured, quickly closing the door behind him. He was about to move out of the way, until he could feel a hand brush his side, jolting him to look up at the other. It took a few moments, and Donghyuck didn't understand what Seunghun was doing, only to realise that the other had his hand stretched out, as if inviting Donghyuck to take it.

Mindlessly, Donghyuck stared at the outstretched hand and then back up at the small smile on Seunghun's lips, one that showed nothing but kindness and consideration. He could feel his own hand twitch, his fingers itching to hold onto something warm. Donghyuck didn't want to think too hard about it. He didn't want to assume that every gesture had some sort of special significance behind it. They were just holding hands. 

Carefully, he let his hand slide into Seunghun's larger one, suddenly finding it difficult to control the heat rushing up his cheeks from how simplistic yet thoughtful the gesture was.

"So... where are we going?" Donghyuck started the conversation off as they stepped outside his dormitory block.

"Well... I know you like playing games. So I was thinking we could check out that arcade downtown?"

"Aww you know me so well..." Donghyuck teased, a playful smile lining his lips when Seunghun chuckled. He didn't say it, but Donghyuck was truly grateful that Seunghun paid attention to his interests and always constructed dates that he knew would please him. It was such a painfully sweet sentiment, at times, Donghyuck didn't know how to respond... as if, it was too good to be true.

"Watch out!" Donghyuck heard Seunghun call out to him, before the latter felt his body being pulled to the side slightly.

Donghyuck blinked a few times, only just realising that he hadn't been paying attention to where he was going and almost bumped into a lamp post.

"Ahh... clumsy~" Seunghun laughed, squeezing Donghyuck's hand tighter and pulling the shorter boy even closer.

Donghyuck couldn't handle it. The way Seunghun laughs and jokes around with him, it was so freeform and casual. He couldn't even describe the lightness in his chest when Seunghun pulled him close. 

This feels... _nice_.

They got to the front gate, stumbling and nudging each other playfully, drifting off into another meaningless conversation that they didn't share any common interest with, but seemed to talk about effortlessly either way. _Just like before_.

"YAH! WONG FUCKING LUCAS! YOU'RE GONNA SPILL THAT EVERY WHERE!" a voice yelled, loud and deep, one that caused every nerve in Donghyuck's body to stutter in slight fear. 

"What's going-" Seunghun was going to ask, but his words were cut off when two figures burst through the gate, yelling and hollering as they chased after each other.

Donghyuck's eyes widened at the sight before him. Never in his life did he expect to see Mark Lee, student council president, chase after a ballistic Wong Yukhei, with what looked like a McDonald's milkshake drink in front of the school campus, screeching like the weekends were only meant for play and not anything else. 

Mark was chasing after Lucas, simultaneously aiming the styrofoam, disposable milkshake cup at the taller's head, fully determined to use his basketball skills and smash the milky contents all over Lucas's back.

"Wow... I didn't know our president could even smile... let alone laugh." Seunghun joked, looking over at Donghyuck, expecting a sort of reaction.

"He can sometimes... it's just very, very rare." Donghyuck shrugged, not wanting to delve into the topic further, "Let's go."

"Donghyuck, I just-" Seunghun seemed to be picking all the wrong moments to try and talk, because every time he did, someone would end up interrupting him one way or another.

In this scenario, it happened to be one, _wild_ Lucas.

"HYUUUCCKKKK!! SAVE ME! I JUST GOT MY HAIR STYLED TODAY AND MARK'S TRYING TO RUIN IT!" Lucas cried out, and Donghyuck had to physically prepare himself for the stupidly over-grown man-baby to come charging at him like a bull, before hiding behind his significantly smaller frame.

"Lucas! What are you doing?!" Donghyuck tried to shrug the older off, while also trying not to laugh at the other's over-dramatic antics.

"Running away from _him_!" Lucas pointed straight in front of them, and Donghyuck didn't even have time to check before he felt another presence press up against him.

He could feel blood rush up to his head and, all of a sudden, Donghyuck felt a little faint. There was an intoxicatingly familiar scent flaring up his nostrils and he wanted nothing more than to get away, to run for a different air supply and catch his breath.

"You idiot, stop running away!" Mark cursed, trying to claw after Lucas' retreating figure, which somehow entangled Donghyuck's figure as well. 

"Not until you stop chasing me!" Lucas retorted.

"I'll stop chasing you if you give me my phone back!"

"I'll give you your phone back if you give me my milkshake back!"

"Well, I'll give you your-" 

"GOD- PLEASE STOP!" Donghyuck pushed Lucas off, stormed up to Mark, swiped the milkshake cup out of his hands, shoved it into Lucas' chest, circled the taller boy around, got the phone out of Lucas' back pocket, marched back up to Mark and did all but slap the phone into the older's palm. "Jeez... trying to go on one fucking date and you idiots end up ruining it."

"Ohhh~ a date?" Lucas wiggled his eyebrows, looking between Donghyuck and Seunghun suggestively. "You know what, Seunghun... I might let that whole argument in the cafeteria this morning slide if you treat Hyuck here well."

"About that, I'm seriously sorry, man. I think Minsoo was just pissed about the one game this season thing." Seunghun apologised, and Donghyuck felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He was going to confront Seunghun about it later on, a little more into their date, because he didn't want there to be tension between him and his friends, so Donghyuck was glad Seunghun could apologise when needed to.

"Hmm... that Minsoo guy isn't crossed off yet, but we'll let you off, since your Hyuck's boyfriend and all." Lucas nudged Mark with his elbow, "Right, Mark?"

"Huh?" Mark looked as if he just snapped out of whatever daze he previously drifted off into. Once he did, he looked around, at Lucas, at Seunghun, and then finally meeting gazes with Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck's eyes widened at the sudden contact, not expecting Mark to be looking at him with such intensity. Honestly, he hoped they wouldn't see each other as much anymore, Donghyuck had already confirmed with himself that he didn't want to see Mark outside the student council room, and running into each other like this is becoming too problematic for him.

"I think we should go now." Seunghun threw an arm around Donghyuck's shoulder and pulled him close, a surprisingly intimate gesture that even Donghyuck didn't expect from him. 

Donghyuck shot one last look at Mark, who still remained silent and unbothered by whatever situation this even was. _As expected of Mark Lee_.

"Yeah, we should." Donghyuck nodded, letting Seunghun lead the way after they briefly said their bye's to the other two. Well, to Lucas specifically.

"Hey, about what happened in the cafeteria..." Seunghun started once they made it to the main road, letting his hand slide down Donghyuck's arm to link back with the other's hand once more. "... I know that their were two sides, and I know that I was one the other side... but-"

"Seunghun, it's really no big deal. I understand. Well, I don't understand, but this is a sports club thing, I didn't have much of a say in it anyway." Donghyuck assured him, even though he was upset that Seunghun didn't stand up for either of them like he expected him to, Donghyuck couldn't hold a grudge, especially not when Seunghun clearly realised what he did and sincerely felt bad for it. Plus, Seunghun had every right to choose a side of his own; it's only fair that way. "Football means a lot to you and I understand that. So don't worry about it."

He watched as Seunghun let out a sigh of relief, smiling appreciatively, before leaning in and pressing a small kiss at the corner of the latter's mouth. Another gesture that caught Donghyuck by surprise, causing him to make a mental note to desperately and quickly get used to this affection.

"Thanks, babe." Seunghun grinned cheekily, as if taking pride in the entitlement, "You're the best."

Donghyuck's mind must've went haywire from everything that had happened in the span of only a few minutes. It was a little too much for his brain to process all at once and he wondered how long it would take for him to fully comprehend that this was how his life should be, and that he should work three times as hard to make sure it stays this way, that he should put in maximum effort to make sure all of Seunghun's time and energy don't go to waste and that, some day, he could reciprocate his feelings to the exact same extent. Donghyuck really hoped he could do that.

He couldn't formulate a proper response, deeming a nod good enough to end the subject and continue with their initial plans. 

Donghyuck brushed away any unwanted thoughts, perfectly content with how everything was going so far. 

_This_ is it. _This_ is the perfection he'd been waiting for. _Right?_

And somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered.

Hasn't this happened before?

Donghyuck rattled the keys around in the lock, trying for the thousandth time to get the damn door open. Once he did, he pushed the wooden frame open and stepped inside, taking in the unsurprisingly comforting scent of cinnamon invading his senses.

His surroundings weren't in any way familiar, but as he made his way through the house, it was as if everything was the same. That, every piece of furniture was moved into the exact place it had been in in their previous home. It was a little too sentimental and the thought brought back memories that really should've stayed in their old house. The whole purpose of moving into a new house was to start again, refresh everything and move on.

"Hyuckie? Ah! You're here!" 

But Donghyuck could never blame his mother for holding on.

"Yeah, I just finished classes, so I thought I'd drop by." Donghyuck smiled widely when he saw his mother rush out of the kitchen, clad in a cute blue apron. "Come help me finish dinner and then we can eat together."

Donghyuck nodded obediently, internally praying that it was going to be just the two of them. And when he peered into the dining room, he was delightfully greeted by the sight of only two plates set out on the table. 

"Taewoo's working late tonight, so we can eat together and catch up." he heard his mother state, as if she could hear his thoughts.

Donghyuck hummed in acknowledgement, pretending as if those words weren't what he had been waiting to hear as soon as he stepped inside the house.

"So, how's school going? Are classes going well?" she started off once they settled down.

"Of course! I got the top grade in my last economics test." Donghyuck boasted all smug and proud.

"That's my boy." his mother cooed, patting him on the head fondly. "You always do so well, Hyuckie."

"I have to! I need to become a rich businessman with my own company one day." Donghyuck assured, the words slipping out so easily, due to the amount of times he's uttered them. 

"You will, sweetie." she chuckled, nodding in agreement, "Ah... the future always looks so bright when it comes to you, Hyuck. You'll be a successful businessman, and you'll get married and live in your own home. It makes me want time to stop so you won't grow up too fast and leave me."

"Leave you? What are you talking about, that won't happen!" Donghyuck eagerly protested, "I'll be with you forever."

"Aish, sweetie... not this again." she shook her head with a pleased grin, "People don't stay in this world forever."

"They can with the right care! I'll take care of you, mom." Donghyuck stated adamantly. There shouldn't be anyone else in their lives, they should only need each other and that was it.

"You need to look out for yourself first, Hyuck." she pointed out, "You need to work on maintaining all the relationships in your life first. You need to get everything in balance."

"Everything _is_ in balance." Donghyuck retorted, "I have it all under control."

"Mhm... I see," she hummed, not sounding particularly convinced, "so how's it going with that boyfriend of yours. I'm still a little confused, he doesn't look like the person you described when we talked about him."

"Uhh... that's because it's not him." Donghyuck's eyes darted to look at the plate of food in front of him, "I don't like him anymore, so I moved on to someone else. Someone better."

"Really?" she sounded surprised by the sudden confession, but at the same time, disbelieving, "You don't seem very happy, though."

"I-I am... Seunghun's very nice, he treats me well and takes me out on nice dates. He's considerate and kind and, not to mention, really good-looking." Donghyuck appealed, knowing that he wasn't even trying to make things up. Seunghun truly was a sweetheart in all forms. He was thoughtful and caring, and, at the same time, sensitive about other's feelings. 

"You don't have to force yourself, Hyuckie. It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than me."

"That's not true." Donghyuck looked up at his mother, his eyes wide and uncertain, "Don't worry, mom. I really am happy with him, and school's going really well. I think, before, it was hard to adjust and I kept making mistakes, but it's going so much better now."

"Well, if you're truly happy, then I'm happy." she sighed contently, a smile lingering on her lips. "I must have been wrong before. I thought by the way you talked about that other boy, that you really liked him, but probably not."

"What do you mean by that?" Donghyuck wondered, suddenly curious.

"Well, if you can move on from someone quickly, doesn't that mean you never really had feelings for them in the first place?" there was a knowing tone in her voice that made Donghyuck feel as if she knew something he didn't.

"I-I don't get it..."

"Hyuckie, do you think I'm in love with Taewoo?" she asked suddenly, and the question caught Donghyuck off guard completely.

In all honesty, Donghyuck knew his mother was too smart to fall for someone like Taewoo. 

"If anything, this is a relationship of convenience." she stated, "I'm only with him because I need the support. I only put up with him because my job is in his hands. I already told you, Hyuck. I don't think I'll ever find love the way I did with your father. This in itself makes me feel like a bad person, because Taewoo has said that he loves me many times before, and each time I had to reply with the same words, even if I never really felt it. So, there's no point in hating him, since I'm just as bad. He has feelings for me, yet I only use him in the end, and then deal with the concequences."

Donghyuck watched as she leaned closer, pointing a finger right at him.

"But you've got plenty of time. You're at that ripe age, you've got the entire world to explore. Your whole future ahead... so don't waste your feelings away for something you won't take seriously. You have time, don't worry."

Donghyuck thinks that his mother's words are entirely targeted and specifically pointed at him. Is this what he's doing too? Is this what he's doing to Seunghun? Is she saying such things because she _knows_?

"What was that other boy's name again? M-..."

"Mark." Donghyuck interrupted her, not understanding why he thought it would be better if he said Mark's name instead of hearing it from his mother.

"Oh yeah!" she snapped her fingers, "Well, if you truly didn't like Mark, then this Seunghun boy should treat you well, ok? If he doesn't, I'll-"

"That's not necessary, mom. Don't worry." Donghyuck waved her off with a small chuckle.

Donghyuck wanted to be annoyed. Every time he has a deep conversation with his mother, he goes away having to re-think all his life choices and question whether he's doing the right thing or not. He appreciated the fact that he could go to his mother and ask for advice, knowing he'll get an honest answer in return. But, at the same time, he was getting tired of realising that maybe what he's doing now, isn't right. He was annoyed at himself for having problems, and annoyed at other people for being able to point those problems out so easily, as if he was made out of glass, allowing the entire world to see right through him.

He stayed with his mother until late, sending her off to bed before leaving the house, mentally thankful that he didn't have an awkward run-in with Taewoo on his way out. It was dark outside and Donghyuck regretted going out now, even with his full intention to stay in his dorm rather than at his new house. It's a little sad that he's grown to despise the night, wondering why the sun has to set and wait too many hours before deciding to rise again. Why does time have to keep going? Why does the world have to keep spinning so that everyone experiences a fair share of sunlight?

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, signalling a notification. With a sigh, he pulled it out, wondering who could be texting him so late at night.

**hot football captain:**  
hey  
i know it's late  
but i'm thinking of you...

Donghyuck read over the texts a few times over, scanning his eyes over the words and finding no other hidden meaning behind them. Everything Seunghun says, is said with honesty and sincerity and Donghyuck hates the fact that he takes too long to thoroughly appreciate it. He shouldn't have to think so hard about everything. He shouldn't have to think at all. He doesn't want to take other people's advice, he doesn't want to let words phase him.

But his thoughts are drifting. He thinks about the last party he had been to. The way he was pressed up against the wall, hands pinning his wrists, breaths mingled together, lips brushing, but never quite connecting. He can see a pair of eyes staring at him intensely, a sharp gaze piercing through his skin like the biting cold tonight was giving him.

And, as he forces the thoughts out of his mind, he can see the flashing lights of an arcade, one similar to the one he had played the evening away in. 

_It's ok to keep trying_ , Donghyuck has to remind himself this almost every day. Because there's a part of him that wants to prove his superstitions wrong. He wants to prove his mother wrong. He wants to prove his friends wrong. He wants to prove himself wrong. 

Everything is fine the way it is now, and he knows he doesn't need extra reassurance.

 _He_ isn't part of the picture anymore.

It _will_ get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know i don't knooowwww...  
> this chapter was a little weird. but i don't want anyone thinking that the only enemy mark and donghyuck have to face is each other :) i also wanted to show off their student council statuses and the kind of impact the have on the student body ! so when i say that this fic is an opportunity for me to write about power duo markhyuck with masses of authority... i mean it. also... bold mark lee in this fic is something kind of unusual... but i'm embracing it for the time being bc i find it sexy I'M SORRY-
> 
> anyway, as i said in my opening note, i want to post the next chapter as soon as i can bc i just finished writing it today and i think its really uhhhh intense? but in a hopefully good way! i mean... its sad... but it makes sense?!  
> idk... you'll have to wait and see hehehhe~
> 
> also! i've said this before, but this fic has gotten an unbelievable amount of support in the past three months that this has been posted. i hope that its been good so far and that you guys still like it. i'm determined to finish it, but i can't say that i have a definite finishing chapter? as in, i don't know how many chapters there will be until i decide to end this fic! the ending isn't far off... i would say we're about 60% of the way there? but its an unnecessarily long and bumpy road and i really appreciate all the support and encouragement you guys have been giving me.  
> especially since school has been really hard and my sleep schedule is messed up and i always have so many tests to revise for and hmk that i just can't be bothered doing at times.... welp... i guess i'm trying :')
> 
> anyway! my favourite segment- neo worrrlllddd!!  
> i think mnet really won with nct world 2.0... it's literally the best show i've ever watched! it's the perfect thing to get me through the rest of the week on a thursday, and really rewarding as well! its ending soon and i kinda just want to cry bc it's honestly such an amazing show... i really hope they do more shows like that.  
> now.  
> now now now now nowwwww-  
> 90s LOVE AND WORK IT !!! What the actual fuck is going on with nct?!?!?! they JUST NEVER MISS. the entirety of resonance is such a fcking blessing i can't believe we deserve them-  
> firstly, i just want to put this out there... but RESONANCE is Lee Haechan's era I'M JUST SAYING! it's everyone's era... but hyuck just.... damn... he just shines-  
> sungchan's part is on repeaT! HE IS SUCH A FREAKING GOOD RAPPER  
> i'm about to throw hands at sm for treating winwin like shit AGAIN bc they JUST NEVER LEARN and wayv overall!! they don't appreciate wayv and it PISSES ME OFFFFF.  
> but ten and jeno were so good!! i can't choose which parts are my favourite bc i really love tenhyuck's bridge part... but i also have a small seizure when jeno says "come and find me" like bruh.... stop tempting me smh-  
> and when mark shouts before tenhyuck high note.... i'm so attracted to that man this is unbelievable.
> 
> work it is such a banger i dieeeee.... its such a hendery song as well and i'm so glad he got lots of parts :') and black haired jaemin come thruuuu, jungwoo centreee!!... and johntennn gooddd i've missed johnten. gives me hope that some of the more inactive ships (*cough* markhyuck *cough*) will have more moments (even tho yanghyuck and 2chan maybe- NONONONO markhyuck supremacy !!!)  
> i really hope jisung gets better as well :( he looked so cool in the mv 
> 
> now... drum roll please.... NCT DAESANNNNGGGGG!!! they looked so cool on AAA!! all the performance were god tier and i honestly wouldn't expect anything else from them! each unit got awards as well and i just think that its so amazing they got to receive a daesang TOGETHER as 23! so proud of my boys! next step... taking over the world!! :D
> 
> anyway! my camera roll is constantly being updated with nct pictures to the point that i'm sure majority of my storage is reserved just for them... and i'm 100% ok with that ! they all look so good... how could i not. AND! resonance nct 2020 ot23 pic was released today.... WITH MARK LEE CENTRE !!?!?!?! HOLY SHIT?!?! WTDUHNAOSIHNOA bruh-  
> ok. i'm fine. totally fine. i can make it through.
> 
> departure version is being released tmrw (?) and idk how much heart damage i can take... its getting fatal at this point :'))
> 
> anywayyyyyyy~ sorry for the long note again... THIS WEEK HAS BEEN NCT FILLED TO THE POINT THAT I'VE BEEN SUFFERING WITH HEART ATTACK AFTER HEART ATTACK... i needed to vent :( and the sad part is... i haven't even talked about all that happened in neo city... renjun went live, and so did xiaojun... and chenji this and that. AND MY BABIE LUCAS ;-; i hope he's ok... uhghfusnlqw i can't... they take a toll over my life :(  
> again, thank you all for reading till this far!! i really hope you like it and that this is going well so far... and i can't wait to post the next chapter!!
> 
> see you next update!
> 
> ~Risa <3


	34. thirty two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH !! i'm very late - WITH NO NOTICE BEFOREHANDDDD
> 
> i'm sorry ;-;
> 
> i blame school
> 
> and my dumbass for taking a subject like chemistry-
> 
> sorry for any grammatical/spelling mistakes :'(
> 
> i hope you like it :')

"So, I was thinking-"

"And I already don't like where this is going..."

"JUST HEAR ME OUT!" Lucas grumbled, glaring daggers at his so-called best friend, who was absent-mindlessly reading a book. Obviously, Lucas knew better; reading was the last thing Mark was doing right now, especially when the younger specifically chose the library to have lunch in, because of a certain _someone_ who was sitting only two tables away from them. Not that he'd ever point it out, though. "So, I was in psych class yesterday, and I overheard these girls talking. Well, I wasn't really listening in, they were kinda loud... yeah, one of them started talking about you and how they like you and want to date you and all that. I tried to get a look at her and damn... she's hot. Not as pretty as my Renjunnie, but still pretty." 

"And this is relevant... how?" Mark raised a brow, almost not wanting to know where this conversation was leading to.

"It's relevant because I told her to ask you out tomorrow and said that you'll definitely say yes to her." Lucas grinned smugly.

"You said _what_?" Mark gawked in disbelief.

"I _said_ , that she should ask-" Lucas attempted to repeat himself, thinking Mark hadn't heard him.

"No, no I got that part." Mark groaned, " _Why_ did you tell her that?"

"To set you up on a date with her?" Lucas answered in all seriousness, as if he couldn't find anything wrong with what he said.

"What makes you think I want to go on a date with her?" Mark questioned, eyebrow raised judgingly.

"I don't know? She's pretty and most likely your type." Lucas shrugged, "Plus, you need to get out more. Everyone's out here getting boyfriends and girlfriends and, at this rate, the only thing you'll be marrying is your work."

Mark could only screw his eyes at the older, completely judgemental to the way Lucas' thoughts processed. There was little to absolutely no logic in whatever Lucas just said, and Mark didn't know how to break it to him that they were currently in college, barely nineteen years of age, and their entire future to worry about. Marriage should honestly be the last thing on their minds.

"Well, make sure to tell her that I'm not interested and I don't want her to approach me." Mark tried to focus his attention back to his book.

"But I already told her that you'll say yes!" Lucas protested, "And stop acting like you're actually reading that book. I know you aren't."

"I am!" Mark grumbled, suddenly getting defensive.

Lucas could only let out a sigh before reaching out, taking Mark's book, flipping it around and giving it back to the younger. He had to endure almost twenty minutes of sitting in front of Mark, staring at the way the letters of the book's title were upside down. Mark is a little too obvious at times.

"Look, the party a while back didn't destress you like I thought it would." Lucas admitted, as if it was his fault Mark was so disorientated nowadays, "But you've been acting off lately and I can't just _not_ do anything about it."

"I appreciate it, man... I really do. But I'm fine." Mark assured, his cheeks a little flushed from the way Lucas had to flip his book over since he had been attempting to "read" upside down.

Lucas hummed at the words, before leaning over the table and staring at Mark intensely, eliciting another judgemental look from the younger.

"Has it ever occurred to you that you're a human who can also have feelings for someone?" he started, watching as Mark's eyes widened for a split second, before rendering back to their usual uninterested gaze.

"Dude, I really don't get what you're saying... you say the most random-"

"I think you should go on a date with this girl, or we can find you a guy to go out with. It doesn't really matter." Lucas interrupted him, "Just try, Mark."

Mark steadily grew uncomfortable by how serious Lucas sounded. It was a tone he couldn't necessarily reject and he knew that, somehow, there was some reasoning behind Lucas' statement.

"I don't know why you're making me do this." Mark sighed, shaking his head.

"Who knows? You might enjoy it!" 

Mark highly doubted that, but he shrugged anyway, hoping that was enough of a response to satisfy Lucas' curiosity, silently telling the older that he'll think about it.

He really won't think about it, but he doesn't need Lucas to lecture him again.

When will the day end already?

"Mark-ssi, have you thought about agreeing to a Summer Festival this year?"

Mark looked up at the person standing in front of his desk, clearly directing their words at him.

"Summer festival?" he questioning, knitting his eyebrows in confusion as he tried to remember whether they had discussed such a thing before.

"Yeah, everyone's been talking about it and its become quite a popular topic. We were hoping to get some clarification from you whether its actually happening or not." the girl, who Mark actually managed to identify as Serim, explained.

"Well, festivals are a big thing and it requires a lot of organisation. I'm not against it, but finals are in summer, so we'd have to co-ordinate it so everyone gets involved in preparations as well as study for their exams." Mark reminded, "I don't think its manageable right now. Maybe if we discussed it before winter break, I could have thought about it more, but from now, it isn't likely." he turned his attention back to his work, disregarding the girl's presence entirely after answering her question. There really wasn't much else he could say towards the matter.

"O-oh..." Serim slowly nodded her head, "ok then, thank you." she turned on the heels of her feet and left the room with a few other members from the student council committee, all equally dejected at the thought of having their idea refused.

Mark glanced up briefly, wondering if there was anyone else left in the room. Once he did look up, he caught Donghyuck staring at him incredulously from the corner of his eye. Donghyuck had his mouth half-open as he looked between the door and Mark.

"Stop gaping... you look like a fish." Mark shot at him, "What's the problem now?"

"How could you just cancel the Summer Festival like that?!" Donghyuck exclaimed.

"It's not like we planned to let it go ahead anyway?" Mark shrugged, not seeing why it should be a problem.

"Well we can! We still have time!" Donghyuck protested, "How about you actually wait and see if we can make it happen, instead of rejecting the idea as a whole?!"

"It's not that big of a deal. I don't know why you're making it into one." Mark didn't know why he even bothered arguing with Donghyuck. The latter had barely spared him a glance, and then acts off around him every time they do exchange minimal conversation. Basically, Donghyuck had quite blatantly been avoiding him, and _now_ he wants to start an argument? _What_?!

"Summer is ages away, Mark! Spring has just started... there's plenty of time for preparations!" Donghyuck reasoned. 

Mark seriously hates this. 

He really fucking hates how he almost kissed Donghyuck, while fully sober, only a few nights ago. Yet now, they're back to arguing as if nothing's changed. A lot has changed, actually. Like the fact that Donghyuck has a boyfriend, and the entire school knows this. _Mark_ knows this very well. He's had unexplainable spurts of _something_. Something that screams at him to interfere and snatch Donghyuck away. It all only plays out in his mind, of course. He'd never actually walk up to Donghyuck and forcefully steal him from the younger's lame-excuse-of-a-boyfriend (no matter how much his hands itch to do just that). He should probably deliberate with himself more, because Mark can't find a good enough reason as to why he's been feeling like this. Why he's sub-consciously looking around to see if he could spot Donghyuck anywhere, to do so much as to catch a mere glimpse of him, as if he hadn't seen Donghyuck enough during the course of the day.

It was frustrating and a part of him thinks he's crumbling into a pit of some sort of _emotion_ that he vowed himself to steer clear from until he graduated and pursued a stable lifestyle.

"You get worked up over everything." he ended up sighing, slowly getting up and walking towards the younger's desk with a near-empty folder in his hand. He proceeded to drop that folder in front of Donghyuck. "I'll think about it. In the mean time, get these done by the end of the day. It's not much."

Mark watched curiously as Donghyuck's eyes diverted to look at the folder on the desk, before returning his gaze back to him. He couldn't help but swallow the lump in his throat as he noticed just how angry Donghyuck looked.

"You have some real nerve, Mark Lee." 

"Not this again." Mark could only roll his eyes. He didn't know whether to feel extremely pissed off, or extremely relieved by the way Donghyuck was talking to him. Their relationship has never been ideal, despite their positions requiring them to get along. But Mark would rather argue with Donghyuck, than have the latter not talk to him at all.

So he couldn't really complain. If the only way to keep conversing with Donghyuck was to argue and fight, then Mark knew he could endure it.

"I'm not asking you to write a letter for the Emperor or anything, it's just paperwork." Mark sighed, still not understanding why Donghyuck was angry at him.

"You're so infuriating, Lee!" Donghyuck grumbled, snatching the folder from his desk and attempting to shove Mark out of the way so he could get past and leave the sudden suffocation that this very room held.

Mark didn't stop to think, his hand automatically reached out and grabbed Donghyuck's arm, pulling the latter back with one tug.

"What the-"

"I don't care if you hate me." Mark grimaced, watching contently when Donghyuck's pupils started shaking, "But I was serious when I said I wanted to be civil. We both can't stand each other and its obvious, but I'm sick of arguing with you unnecessarily."

" _Unnecessarily_?!" Donghyuck repeated the word, almost scoffing at how stupid the idea sounded, "You're the biggest jerk on the planet... I don't want to be civil with you!" 

"You're making this more difficult than it has to be. If Principal Choi catches us fighting again, we can say goodbye to student council president and vice for good. Do you want that?"

"I've told you before, dickhead... don't fucking lecture me." Donghyuck screwed his eyes, yanking his arm out of the older's grip so forcefully, he stumbled back and tripped over the leg of his chair. He let out a small shriek, expecting to fall on the floor and probably hit his head on the desk while he's at it.

But the impact didn't come. Instead, he could feel an arm circling his waist and his body being pulled forward.

Donghyuck blinked his eyes open and saw Mark staring at him with knitted eyebrows and that unreadable emotion of his swirling in his eyes. He could feel his entire face heat up in embarrassment. All he wanted to do was flip Mark off in a nonchalant way, but his clumsiness only landed himself in an even bigger mess.

"Careful." Mark muttered, letting his eyes wonder over the younger's face since their close proximity let him do so with ease. _'He looks cute today. Has he always looked this cute?'_

"Why do you care all of a sudden?" Donghyuck huffed, trying to wriggle out of the older's hold.

Mark was having a major internal conflict. Donghyuck was pouting and averting his gaze, his hair messy over his forehead and his lips glistening from the balm Mark may have secretly watched him put on a few moments ago. He didn't know whether to coo over the sight, or dismiss it entirely and pray that the feeling bubbling in his chest was anything _but_ fondness.

A part of Mark wanted to tighten his hold around Donghyuck's waist, to prevent the younger from distancing himself again. But, at the same time, his more rational thoughts decided against the idea, knowing that their current relationship status wasn't at the point where they could initiate much skinship with each other.

"Only for student council." Mark started off, letting his arms fall lax by his sides as Donghyuck stepped away from him discreetly.

"What?" Donghyuck gave him a confused look, his eyebrows knitting together subtly and his hazel-brown eyes only growing wider.

_'Cute.'_

"I'm not asking for anything else." Mark quickly emptied his mind from any thoughts that could possibly relate to how cute Donghyuck looks in this current moment, "Let's at least be civil for student council related activities. It'll make both our lives a lot easier."

"Wow... do we fight so much to the point that we need to make rules now?" Donghyuck crossed his arms, sarcasm dripping in his voice - they both knew the answer to that.

"I'm not the one who started it." Mark shrugged, stepping closer just to provoke the younger, who clearly looked pissed off.

"There's a smirk on your face that I really want to wipe off." Donghyuck doesn't look anywhere else but into Mark's eyes.

The satisfaction growing in Mark's chest only intensifies and he could feel his smirk border a laugh. Donghyuck could never look scary.

"How do you plan on doing that?" Mark shamelessly let his eyes flicker down to Donghyuck's lips, his mind simultaneously drifting back to the night of the party, where they ended up in a closet together and he was _this_ close to kissing Donghyuck (one out of two attempts he pulled that night).

Donghyuck looked seriously mad, as if he was ready to slap the cockiness out of Mark. But he couldn't lift a finger when the door burst open, startling them both to automatically jump away from each other.

"Mark-ssi!" the sound of a girl's voice echoed through the room.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?!" Mark yelled as he could see Donghyuck trying to calm down from the fright they were given barely seconds ago from the corner of his eye.

"Ah... sorry, did I interrupt something?" the girl grinned cheekily, clearly not meaning her apology in any way.

Mark took his time to actually acknowledge the new presence in the room, he looked up and was met with the sight of an (admittedly) pretty girl. She had long black hair and big eyes, noticeably by the way she fluttered her eyelashes at the president specifically.

"Miyeon?" Mark raised a brow at the girl who he hadn't had much contact with since his first year here.

"I'm honoured you still remember me, president." the girl, Miyeon, giggled before skipping over to Mark, he grin everlasting, "I was talking to your friend, Lucas, and he suggested that we should hang out."

"What- oh... _that_." Mark rubbed the back of his neck, completely forgetting about the conversation he had with his so-called best friend (traitor).

"So I was thinking we could catch a movie tonight?" Miyeon did that thing with her eyelashes, her hands clasped behind her back as she rocked on one foot.

"Uhhh... " Mark snuck a glance behind him to where Donghyuck was standing by his desk, silently looking through the folder he had been given. There was an unbothered look on his face, and for some reason, that seemed to piss Mark off. He turned back and gave the girl one of his infamous smiles, "Sure. Can't wait."

"Great! I'll see you tonight then." Miyeon touched his arm once, gave him a smile and skipped out of the room.

Mark waited until the door closed behind her before sparing a few glances at Donghyuck, trying to see if there might be something etching in the younger's expressions to show that maybe, just _maybe_... he was jealous?

But nothing.

Donghyuck didn't look bothered even in the slightest.

"So... where were we?" Mark started the conversation off again, wondering why the tension in the room suddenly thickened.

"Just finished, actually." Donghyuck slipped the folder into his bag and hauled it up over his shoulder. "I'll submit the work when I'm done."

"Donghyuck, seriously. I already told you that we need to be-"

"Civil?" Donghyuck finished his sentence off, "I can't be civil with a hypocrite."

"How am I a hypocrite?!" Mark yelled, getting seriously annoyed and tired of this useless arguing.

"Non-student council committee members are prohibited from entering the student council room without before-hand permission or an appointment." Donghyuck stated, a fact that slipped like water off his tongue from how many times they've both said it to the other committee members. "But I guess pretty girls have _always_ been an exception, right?"

Mark couldn't decipher the younger's tone of voice, watching carefully as the tanned boy made his way towards the door.

"Have fun on your date, president."

Mark suddenly hated how quiet and empty the room had become, not finding comfort in the silence unlike previous times, when he craved for it the most. 

Somehow, he wished he hadn't said yes to that date.

The incessant sound of his pen tapping against the smooth surface of his desk was irritating, but Mark didn't stop his actions.

He was supposed to be focusing on whatever his professor was currently saying ( _something about supply and demand?_ ). Yet he couldn't help but gaze out the window, completely entranced by the way the lifeless trees were swaying in the wind. He could see small buds ready to sprout on the trees, the spring season hopefully bring about a more elegant ambiance to the courtyard the school was quietly-famous for.

"I've got your results from last week's test." he could vaguely hear his professor announce to the class, but the words didn't bother him like they usually would. Either that, or they just hadn't completely registered in his brain yet, clearly too busy staring out the window and wondering whether the gardener had planted any sunflowers this time of the year or not (he also considers mentioning this to said gardener as a pliable suggestion).

The sound of something smacking against the surface of the desk jolted Mark out of his thoughts. He grumbled at the initial shock before picking up his test paper and turning it over, expecting to see his usual grade written and circled in red ink at the top corner of the booklet.

Once his eyes did scan over the red ink, Mark almost choked on literal air. He eyed the red mark again until his eyes physically stung. He whizzed through the paper, looking down the multitude of red ticks and the surprising amount of red crosses, more than he'd ever seen in his entire life.

"Just a reminder that this isn't an assessed grade, and you should all be glad it wasn't, because the average for this class has somehow dropped." Mark shot his head up to look at his professor with a suddenly apologetic look, somehow wanting to take blame for the fact that his high standards of grades was the cause of the high average across his economics class. But because the grade he just received wasn't to the standard he was used to, the entire class average had dropped. It was a good thing for some, but for Mark, his professor's words felt like they were targeted towards him and he just couldn't believe his standards had just dropped like that.

"Can I see you for a minute, Mark?" his professor, Mr Kim, also known as the school's strictest teacher, called him after class ended. Of course, Mark didn't believe that. Mr Kim was just... overly ambitious when it comes to his students graduating with flying colours. 

"Yes, sir?" Mark knew he was a model student in the eyes of practically all his teachers, and being called out like this wasn't what he had in mind when he planned to maintain a high-end reputation throughout his four years of college.

"I noticed that you've been quite distracted these past couple of weeks." Mr Kim didn't bother beating around the bush, and Mark wasn't in any way surprised, "Your grade is obviously enough to pass my class, but I know you can do better than this. You've maintained the average score for the past two years now, what's happened all of a sudden?"

"I don't know, sir. I think this test must have been a little hard for me." Mark tried to make up an excuse, since he didn't know how to explain just what had been distracting him.

"That's surprising to hear. You've not shown signs of struggle for any topic that we've covered so far, and we're almost at the end of the full course." Mr Kim raised a brow. Mark thought that there was really no use in trying to lie to his professor. "Well, I don't care for excuses. You're our best student and I don't want you falling behind. You need to set an example for the rest of your class as well as the younger years. You better figure out whatever's distracting you and take care of it as soon as possible. I expect more."

Mark doesn't bother with a response. His professor already made it clear what he wanted and there was really no arguing with it. 

_But still._

There's a heaviness in his chest, a feeling that he's not used to, but not completely unfamiliar with. _Of course_ his teachers have high expectations for him. _Everyone_ has high expectations for him. Students will pass by the notice board and check up to see who made it to number one, only really expecting one out of two names to be up there. Mark realises that there isn't space for failure or disappointment in his curriculum. He seriously gets it. But at the same time, he doesn't understand why his professor is looking at him like _that_. As if this one test, in the past three years he had been slaving away in this course, the one time he gets slightly below his _own_ standard, and all of a sudden, it isn't good enough.

Is anything he does really good enough? 

If there's only one standard he's supposed to meet, will anything only a few marks below even be acceptable?

The booklet in his hand crumples up in his tight grasp as he makes his way out of the classroom and towards the cafeteria, only leaving with a curt promise that "this won't happen again". He doesn't exactly know who he's making that promise to and the accomplishment he usually feels after coming out of class with the highest score on a test, isn't bubbling in his chest, unable to provide him the satisfaction he craves to fuel the rest of his day.

"Mark oppa!" 

Mark thinks the voice startles the crap out of him way too frequently. Regrettably, he turned around and forced a small smile on his lips when he sees Miyeon waving at him.

"Hey, Miyeon." he greeted as casually as he could, trying not to outwardly express how deeply he had been in thought only moments ago, "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much... I was just wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me today? I've just finished my last class, so I'm free for the rest of the day." Miyeon stated, doing that thing with her eyelashes and twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.

Mark had to refrain himself from shooting her down all in one go. Words formulated in his head, something along the lines of, "Wow, it's great that you're finished for the rest of the day, but some people still have classes in the afternoon." Obviously, he wouldn't tell her that.

He was about to decline the invitation, mainly because he didn't want to meet Miyeon more than he already had to today. That was one of the reasons.

The other reason was probably related to the fact that he had more pressing matters at hand, like how, in the corner of his eye, he could see Donghyuck leaning against his locker with none other than Kim Seunghun blatantly (and presumably really badly) flirting with him.

"So, is that a ye-"

"Sorry, give me a second." Mark didn't hear what Miyeon was trying to tell him, his attention too caught up on how Seunghun was gradually leaning closer to Donghyuck. He didn't bother excusing himself from whatever form of a conversation he was just having with Miyeon, and made his way over to the other side of the hallway where he could see the tanned boy.

A large part of Mark wanted to blame Donghyuck for his bad test score. Mark knew that the younger was the only reasonable explanation as to why he had been so distracted these past few weeks. There's so much shit between them and it frustrates him to no end! Mark is constantly forced to put up with the hell that is their dynamic and he's one-hundred-and-twenty-percent certain his lowering test average was all because Lee Donghyuck won't stop causing trouble for him.

As he drew closer, he could pick up the pieces of their conversation, since neither of them happened to notice his incoming presence (which Mark found himself to be slightly offended by).

"-it's really no big deal." he heard Seunghun say.

"It is! You didn't have to take me back from that party." Donghyuck protested, pushing the other playfully.

"That was ages ago now, you don't have to do anything in return. I couldn't leave you there."

...

Wait... _what_?!

Mark almost tripped over his own feet at the sound of those words being uttered out of that _loser's_ mouth. Did he just hear that correctly? There hasn't been any other party since the last one he went to, mainly because tests are coming in left and right and there hasn't been much time to do anything other than study. So Mark was sure that _jerk_ was talking about _that_ party.

"Well still, it was nice of you." Donghyuck had the audacity to look shy, and Mark could only roll his eyes at that.

"Hmm... does that mean I deserve a reward?" Seunghun grinned mischievously, and Donghyuck couldn't get another word in when Seunghun started leaning in even closer, their faces only inches apart.

Mark took opportunity of the busy hallway and "accidentally" bumped into someone, causing them to bump into Seunghun and obstruct him from making any further moves.

"Shit, sorry." the guy Mark bumped into (he's really bad with names) apologies to Seunghun, sent Mark a confused look, suddenly regretted sending a look towards the student council president, and then proceeded on his way to wherever he was going.

"I saw that." Donghyuck muttered, his words catching Mark's attention immediately, "You're captain of the basketball team, but suddenly useless when it comes to walking? Interesting..."

 _Yup_. Mark could confirm that Lee Donghyuck was definitely the cause of the bad grade he got today. Lee Donghyuck and his snarky attitude. Lee Donghyuck and the sarcasm always dripping through in his voice. Lee Donghyuck and his stupid boyfriend. Lee Donghyuck and his stupid tanned skin that looked as if it was dipped in honey. 

Lee Donghyuck and those wide, hazel brown eyes of his.

"Hand in your work and keep your pda for places that aren't the hallways where everyone can see." Mark told him, his own voice monotonous and probably uncaring. His words were partially directed to Seunghun, but he didn't really want to waste his time looking at the said boy, so he didn't bother.

He caught the way Donghyuck rolled his eyes, watching how the tanned boy grabbed Seunghun's arm and pulled him away.

It was a surprisingly annoying sight to see. In all honesty, Mark didn't think this day could get any worse.

"What's that?" Lucas asked, taking a swig from his water bottle as he side-glanced at the booklet Mark threw onto the table.

The slight younger had made a point of thoughtlessly making his way towards their usual table on the far end of the cafeteria, his face unreadable and his hand evidently gripping something strongly.

"What do you think?" Mark folded his arms over his chest and remained standing, as if his question was in no way rhetorical. (It probably wasn't).

"A test paper?" Hendery answered, raising a brow curiously.

"No shit." Mark spat, earning wide-eyed looks from the other three, "What's _on_ the paper?"

"...a B?" Xiaojun's voice pitched slightly higher at the end, sharing a mutual confusion as to why Mark was asking them such questions.

"B." Mark seethed before slamming his hands onto the table, completely unbothered by the possibility that everyone was looking at him (not that it was anything new), "A fucking _B_. Not even an A minus!"

"It's still a pass?" Lucas stated, "I heard from other people in your class that the test you had was really hard." 

"That isn't the problem here." Mark crashed into a chair and buried his face in his hands, "I've never gotten lower than an A. The class average decreased because of _my_ result. My professor even told me that I should've done better!"

"Your professor, aka Mr Kim, is the strictest teacher in the entire school! I bet he just wanted a student in _his_ class to be in the top 3 rankings." Xiaojun claimed, earning nods from Lucas and Hendery, who were evidently in agreement to his words.

"It's not even about Mr Kim." Mark sighed, "He's right... I've been getting too distracted lately. To the point that my perfect record, the one that I worked hard on to maintain for almost three years now... is completely ruined."

"Firstly, it's not ruined. This isn't even a bad grade-"

"-it's average." Mark interrupted him, earning a glare from the taller.

"-it's not _bad_!" Lucas gritted through his teeth, "What I am concerned about is what's distracting you."

"Yeah... there's very little that could possibly distract the Mark Lee." Hendery chimed in.

Mark could only roll his eyes at that. He opted on not answering and instead, let his gaze wonder over the busy cafeteria, where groups and cliques were evidently engaged in whatever chatter they needed to discuss. As if they were programmed to do this, his eyes land on a familiar mop of brunette hair. He watches with sudden interest as Donghyuck laughs at whatever his friends were talking about. The way the younger throws his head back, his eyes forming subtle crescents and his pearly teeth forming a wide grin, letting his obnoxiously cute laugh slip out in short breaths. His entire face lights up so brightly and Mark can feel a squeezing sensation in his chest when he notices just how happy Donghyuck looked.

So far, his day had been pretty shitty, and he's still adamant that Donghyuck was the reason he had been so pre-occupied with everything but his studies. He should feel embarrassed for receiving such a grade, he should feel angry that he's constantly getting distracted by futile things such as feelings and these completely unnecessary thoughts, he should hate Donghyuck _more_.

But Donghyuck looks happy right now, and Mark can't bring himself to think about anything else, wondering where the pleasant feeling settling in his heart that was easing him from all the stress that he had been accumulating from the past few weeks of dreadful silence, avoidance and intolerance came from.

From the corner of his eye, he could see the other three sending him confused and concerned looks.

' _Same._ ' he thought, ' _I'm confused and concerned too._ '

_"Mark! Ah~! Oh... fuck, wait... oh my god!"_

_His hands feel as if they're burning at every touch of gold skin against his fingertips. The breathy moans that vibrate in his ear travel all the way up to his brain, before dropping down further south. Melodies of pants and whimpers is all Mark wants to hear. He wants to press closer against the warmth of the body underneath him, to make the person trapped between his arms crave his touch and ask for more, as much as Mark wanted to take. It's mutual, they both want it, everything around them is coated in bliss._

"Mark..." _his name is being called again, and Mark has no choice but to pay attention to his companion, and the pout being worn on their lips._

_Their eyes are shimmering under the lamp light on the bedside table. Speckles of hazel and chocolate brown, doe-like and gentle. His lips glisten, evidently coated by saliva and probably other fluids. The way they pout makes Mark want to lean down and kiss it away._

_"What is it, baby?" he'll say to them, watching as they shy away, a blush high on their cheeks, forcing Mark to mentally complain just how pretty they are._

_God, they're pretty... so, so pretty._

_Mark would watch as the body in his arms rises up until they're positioned securely in his lap, whilst simultaneously throwing their arms around Mark's neck. They'll move sensually, grind down on him with a devilish smile on their face, a smile that's anything but sweet. Their pretty, pink, heart-shaped lips making home in his mind, because, in reality, Mark can't think about anything else, he can't think about anyone else._

"-Mark?"

_Their voice would be velvety and low. Such a harmonic tone, it sends shivers down Mark's spine. They'll whisper confessions and ask for something similar to love as their bodies press even close together, wanting to eliminate any possible distance they could have. Mark would give in happily. He'd reach up and card his fingers through the strands of honey locks and pull them slightly, letting their lips slot together in a sweet kiss. It's familiar, it feels as if he's tasted them before, they're smooth and delicate and they mimic the softness in the features Mark had been running his hands all over._

_It's utter seduction in its mightiest form. It's devilish, conniving and Mark knows he won't be able to escape, he knows he won't be able to resist the temptations that come along with falling in head-first and hoping that he won't drown in the process. The attraction is like electricity, and every touch sends a spark through his veins, volts reaching peaks of three-hundred, completely fatal to the functioning of Mark's heart._

"Mark?!"

"W-what?" Mark shook his head, blinking rapidly when he realised that everything playing out, was all in his head.

He looks directly at the person calling his name and has to take a few seconds to contemplate exactly who that person is.

Ah.

_Miyeon._

She's half-naked, clothes discarded on the floor, only her under-garments lacing her pale white, porcelain skin. She's looking at him with a confused expression, wondering why he stopped the activities they both agreed on starting.

Mark can't really look at lace the same anymore. He could pick out the intention behind Miyeon's gesture, a matching set of baby pink that would send any man over the edge. He appreciates the thought, but it isn't the same. It isn't the same because there's gold highlighting his mind and all he can think about is a person that he'd let slip through his fingers like butter.

Their dazzling smile doesn't surface in his mind anymore after that, and Mark wants to feel sick that he's got a girl in bed with him, but someone completely different leading his thoughts.

"Sorry, Miyeon." he sighed, his own clothes not even near being discarded.

"A-about what?" Miyeon's eyes grew bigger when Mark pushed himself off the bed.

"I had a good time tonight, but I'm just not interested." Mark knows he's lying. He knows he couldn't possibly have had a good time tonight if the only person in his raging thoughts was with someone else.

Miyeon herself was probably surprised, not expecting such a sincere apology from someone like Mark Lee, the student council president. She thought back to their first year together and the team they had formed. Did she read him wrong? Mark... _hadn't_ been interested this entire time?

"I should probably go." Mark didn't bother saying anything more, he didn't want to have to explain himself. 

Really, he was a massive jerk for leading a person on, for spending time with them, for following their advances until they reached their dorm, for engaging in small talk, for letting their lips touch and for ending up in bed when he just wasn't interested.

"Are you thinking about someone else?"

Mark left the dorm swiftly, pretending he didn't hear her question.

"Oh hey! You're back!" Lucas greeted when he saw Mark enter through the door to their dorm.

Mark was welcomed with the sight of Lucas, Xiaojun and Hendery squishing together on the couch, playing some game on their ps4 that Mark didn't bother to look properly at to find out exactly which game it was.

"How was your date?" Lucas asked him first, already knowing of the younger's whereabouts earlier on this evening.

"Date?! Ohhh... what date?" Xiaojun questioned, his tone intrigued but his focus all on the game in front of him.

"Who'd you go with?" Hendery decided to participate in the suddenly interesting discussion.

"Miyeon." Mark shrugged, "And it was fine." he really didn't want to talk about it.

"Miyeon?! as in, _Park_ Miyeon?! Dude... she's super hot!" Hendery stated, and laughed when Xiaojun shoved him with an annoyed (and jealous) glare.

"Yeah... I guess..." Mark sighed, crashing onto the couch when Xiaojun decided to slip down and sit on the floor, "We watched a movie, had dinner and then I walked her back to her dorm room. She invited me inside-" 

"Ohh... the good stuff." Lucas smirked, wiggling his eyebrows, earning an eye roll from Mark.

"We talked, drank a bit, made out, got to the bedroom and..." Mark buried his face in his hands, oblivious to the way the other three were gradually leaning closer, expecting a certain answer that would relieve them of the worry they had been feelings after seeing how dejected Mark had been looking these past couple of weeks. "I just wasn't feeling it."

"Wait... _what_?!" Lucas almost gasped in pure shock, "You- you backed out? You've never- wait... WHAT?!"

"Mark, seriously... are you ok? What's going on?" Xiaojun, as well as the other two, weren't really paying attention to the game anymore, and Mark could see red lights flickering on the TV screen, indicating the players that they'll be kicked out of the match in ten seconds due to inactivity.

"I don't know." Mark couldn't bring himself to look at them, shame and disgust filling him up inside. "But all night, all fucking _night_... I couldn't stop thinking about _him_."

"Who?" Hendery looked completely lost.

But while he and Xiaojun were trying to figure out who Mark was talking about, Lucas had already pieced it all together.

"What the fuck, Mark..." now, Lucas was worried, yet it all made sense, "I get it now! The way you get pissed every time you see him at parties with his boyfriend, when you see him laugh and smile with others. Holy shit, you look at him so longingly Mark!"

Mark wished the ground would just open up and swallow him whole. He doesn't want to be cornered like this; he knows where this is leading to, but he doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't want to hear the painful truth that'll only inflict confusion and anger in him.

"You can say that he distracted you all you want, Mark. But we all know that's just an excuse..." Lucas sighed, his words catching Mark's attention instantly. "He wasn't the cause of that grade you got, just admit it..."

Mark really didn't want it to turn out this way, but the looks he was receiving from the others showed him that there wasn't any other way it could turn out. That, no matter how much he tried to deny it, he sees _him_ in a different light, he wants _him_ in a new way, or maybe... Mark has always wanted _him_? He's already told himself that it isn't the same with others, that no one would make him feel the same way. It's terrifying how he's been stubbornly and blindly chasing after someone he shouldn't want.

But Mark _wants_ him.

Lucas is looking at him dead in the eye, as if he knows things that Mark doesn't, that Mark probably doesn't want to know. But he knows his best friend better than that, he knows Lucas would never keep anything from him.

"Admit it, Mark..." he says with determination, forcing Mark to follow his demand, "You have feelings for him."

_Fuck._

_He does. He probably does._

"You have feelings for Donghyuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugHhhhhGhHOSIHONQAOI idk ok-  
> i'm sorry if this was a little rushed? maybe? or too fast? idk :(  
> mark's perspective will be written in more depth a little later on :) but very soon! there's so much on his side :( this is only a bit of it
> 
> anyway... MARK HAS REALISED SOMETHING?!?!?! AHAHOISHQHSOIQW he's thinking about HIM so much :'(  
> but hyuck probably not having any of it lmao-  
> i love how i'm taking this lightly even tho mark realising his feelings literally 32 chapters into this fic (its honestly the saddest thing in the world)- but i'm not holding onto it?? hmm.... i wonder why ??? hehehhe
> 
> i did warn you guys that mark would really take it all at once - i wonder if you guys feel bad for him? or if you think he still deserves it~?
> 
> anyway! again, i'm really sorry for the late update :( i wanted to upload this chapter for near three weeks now.... but i had loads of school work to keep up with, and then writing new chapters for this fic. somehow, the new chapters are just getting longer and IDK HOW?!?! like the next chapter is 8k words?!?! bruh-
> 
> and yeah... school is kicking my dumbass ouT i canNOT DEAL- but we move... so its fine :(
> 
> OK! so! neo cityy!!
> 
> i need to keep this short bc i have work to do (so sad so very very sad)  
> BUUUUUUT
> 
> RESONANCE!!! OMG AYOOO LISTEN UP! NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY! NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO! WE GONNA RESONATTEEE!!
> 
> imma resonate with nct forever guys oml i love these boys :'(
> 
> their content is so AMAZING!! and the way I CRIED bc of the last neo world 2.0 episode!! we always knew it - but Lee Taeyong BEST LEADER!! ;-;
> 
> i love ot23 omg-
> 
> and the ships that come along with it hehhehe~  
> i'm sorry... but 2chan and yanghyuck are just so cute HOW CAN I NOT LOVE THEM?!  
> but don't worry... markhyuck will always remain superior to me hehhe~  
> the 90s love behind the scenes when hyuck was helping mark skate A BITCH DIED AND THAT BITCH WAS ME-
> 
> ughohsa so cute :(
> 
> and chenji making mask necklaces for all the members and then giving them out and then seeing their reactions GOD THEY'RE SO PRECIOUS PLEASE NEVER SEPERATE THEMMMM 
> 
> also winformation needs a wholeass grammy for being the only show ever bc let's be real-
> 
> we're all whipped for dong sicheng and thats a fact!
> 
> also- nct tiktok really keeping me going- like i hoenstly love them omg-  
> AND THIS JOHNTEN CONTENT?!?!?! THANK YOU?!?! OMG YES?!
> 
> there's so much more content that i want to talk about... but i'm in a rush to finish coz i need to revise for tests for subjects that i'm currently failing in (which is all of them :D)  
> sorry! i'll be more detailed with my nct love next time hehee~
> 
> ok, side note-
> 
> hi, SM Ent? yeah... please EDUCATE your idols THANKS!  
> i don't want to hate on my boys or have others hate on them bc they made a mistake they didn't know they even made bc they haven't been properly taught about the importances of limits and when a person goes too far... i don't want to get into details since you guys probably already know what i'm talking about. but its been a few days since it happened and i'm still upset about it :(  
> i will always love all of my kings, they're honestly legends to me.... and i really want them to have a long and wonderful career without worrying about whether they're doing smth wrong or right, bc by then, hopefully, they'll be more aware and conscious abt what they post :(  
> its a serious issue that i don't want to just "dismiss" bc they're my "idols"... they're humans as well, and learning is a part of human processes... so please... let them be more aware :(
> 
> ok backing it up-  
> thank you all so much for reading this fic so far! your comments make me all soft and mushy inside bc they're just so sweet! i really appreicate the love and support and i'll continue to try my best to keep up with the updates... even if school is kinda not letting me BREATHE like wtf-
> 
> anyway! thank you again!! ahh!! thank you so muchhh!!
> 
> see you next update!!
> 
> ~Risa <3


	35. thirty three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehe~ late with another update again :')
> 
> then again, i never really had a schedule - but i hope this unnecessarily long chapter makes up for the wait :')
> 
> i'm sorry this one is especially cliché and kinda annoying... hope you understand :)
> 
> sorry for any grammatical mistakes :(
> 
> i really hope you guys like this!

Donghyuck thinks that, _maybe_ , he's a little high maintenance.

He swears he doesn't ask for much in a relationship, but maybe his demands are still a little too high of an expectation to meet. Such things really can't be helped in his case, and Donghyuck doesn't know why people say he asks for too much when he genuinely think's he's asking for so little. Maybe his requirements are overly romanticist and he generally craves the idea of being treated and spoiled - but its not like anyone (besides his friends) knows about that. 

No one throughout the entire student body who claim they "want" him, have never noticed that Donghyuck is particular with his standards and sensitive with his interests. It completely clashes with his out-going, extroverted personality, and people frequently make the assumption that he doesn't care for things like late-night dates, or spending too much time together, or public claims and displays of affection, when actually... he really, _really_ does.

Then again, its not easy to tell people that he wants _that_. That he wants to be spoiled, loved and paid attention to all the time. 

Donghyuck knew he was brought up right when he had a list of requirements that needed to be satisfied. Requirements for all aspects of the kind of relationship he wanted to have.

In his defence, he's never been this picky about it before, mainly because he never really thought about it, but now... he couldn't help but ponder over just exactly what he wanted in a partner.

 _Now_ , he's thinking about what's right for him and what isn't.

Now, he realises that he's always expected a certain something when it comes to a lover.

Because now, as a pair of arms wrap around his waist and his lips are captured in a slow kiss... Donghyuck couldn't help but feel that something is _missing_. There's a hand moving up his shirt until a weight was present on his bare skin. A tongue was prodding against his teeth, asking for access. He could feel his body being pushed back slightly and suddenly, Donghyuck felt a shudder of fear shoot through him as he gently but forcefully pushed Seunghun away.

"Is everything ok?" Seunghun asked, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion when Donghyuck pulled back, his hands on the other's shoulders. 

"Y-yeah... everything's fine." Donghyuck assured, not knowing himself why he decided to cut their mini make-out session short, but the thought of whatever they were doing suddenly escalating to something more, didn't sit well with him. "I just realised something."

"What is it?" Seunghun prompted the other to elaborate, still not understanding why their heated exchange was interrupted.

"We've talked a lot about ourselves and our background and stuff..." Donghyuck started off, the palm of his hand digging deeper into the couch, which was positioned in the corner of the common space in Seunghun's dorm, "... but I never asked you what kind of music you like."

"We stopped making out for that?" Seunghun laughed, taking the question light-heartedly.

"It's a serious question! I have to know!" Donghyuck pouted, crossing his arms to emphasise just how 'serious' he was. He wasn't that serious, actually... but he didn't want there to be any awkwardness lingering in the air now that he cut off Seunghun's affection.

Donghyuck is certain Seunghun doesn't know this. But theatre is a lot more than just acting on stage and performing in front of an audience. To Donghyuck, it's a form of art that incorporates music, dance and literature - few of the short list of talents Donghyuck had spent many years culturing and falling in love with. He didn't want to be overdramatic, but he hoped Seunghun at least liked some of the same artists he liked.

"I don't really listen to much music?" Seunghun admitted.

_Or any music at all, actually._

"Wait... you've at least listened to KAI, right?" Donghyuck asked, propping himself up onto his knees as he leaned closer, eagerly awaiting an answer.

"Who?" Seunghun looked completely lost and Donghyuck had to refrain himself from dropping his jaw at the lone word.

Wait... there is no _way_ in actual hell there is a person out there who doesn't know about _KAI_ , who is only the greatest performer out there.

"I like more garage rock kind of songs anyway." Seunghun shrugged, evidently not picking up the aim of the discussion Donghyuck had initiated, which casually bloomed from the fact that Donghyuck liked to have some common interests, any common interests with his boyfriend.

Realisation hit him suddenly and Donghyuck remembers ignoring this when they first met. He hates that it has a big impact on him only now, but its something that bothers him unnecessarily. It's something that he wants to hate himself for getting dissatisfied by. But, like most things, Lee Donghyuck just couldn't help it.

He and his boyfriend, Kim Seunghun, the football team captain, have absolutely _nothing_ in common.

"Ok, maybe you're not as compatible as you would have liked-"

"Nana, we like completely different things!" Donghyuck cut Jaemin off from trying to make the tanned boy feel better, "And the worst part is that I don't understand why this bothers me so much."

"I mean... everyone has standards." Renjun shrugged, "You can't help but realise certain things."

"Yeah... but I feel like the shittiest person alive for caring so much about how different we are." Donghyuck almost cried out, his thoughts spiralling into a heaping mess of confusion as he tried to make sense of his feelings, "It's really fucking annoying, because Seunghun is so nice and caring and I really want to fall for him soon... but I don't- I don't feel-"

"A spark?" Jaemin raised his brow knowingly, as if he knows best. He probably does.

Donghyuck felt his body deflate as he hung his head low in something similar to shame. There isn't a spark. At least, Donghyuck can't feel anything electric when they touch. He loves Seunghun's company, and he appreciated the time they've spent together so far, already over a month into their relationship. But, at the same time, he doesn't know why he didn't properly consider it before, or why he jumped into a relationship before even brushing the surface of what he wanted in a partner. Something that he only recently figured out, but _still_. 

"Am I too picky? Demanding?... High maintenance?" it was one of the few occasions where Donghyuck could feel his insecurities eating him out alive. Since when has being in a relationship been this stressful? Maybe its because it's his _first_ relationship and that he'll do anything to ensure it goes well and that nothing bad happens? It must be that. There really can't be any other reason why Donghyuck is so blatantly determined to make this relationship _work_. Because, despite their differences and despite the minimal regret Donghyuck feels knowing that Seunghun and him are so unalike, he genuinely believes that there's nothing that could ruin their relationship.

"It's not any one of those things." Jaemin talks first, and Donghyuck could see Renjun's mouth closing, as if he had planned to say something in response, but Jaemin managed to beat him to it. "You, just have a _type_."

"A _type_?" Donghyuck repeated, wondering if Jaemin was taking his serious mental conflict as a joke rather than trying to be helpful.

"Yes." Jaemin answered adamantly, but before Donghyuck could say anything in response, the tanned felt a hand grip his chin and forcefully jerk his head to the right till he was facing the far side of the cafeteria. 

Protests and expressions of annoyance formed on the tip of Donghyuck's tongue, but his eyes had caught a familiar figure slouching in their chair at the far end of the cafeteria, a book splayed out in front of them, but their attention seemingly and surprisingly unfocused.

" _That_." Jaemin started after a few short moments, probably to allow Donghyuck to stare at the boy who happened to be caught up in his vision, "That's your type."

Donghyuck felt his eyes widen at how honest and straight-forward Jaemin was suddenly being. Surprised at how Jaemin is forcing him to look at the one boy Donghyuck wanted nothing to do with.

Now, he's looking at Mark Lee, wondering why his stare still lingers even when the grip on his chin is released. Even from afar, Donghyuck can see the worry and stress etched all over's Mark's face. He really shouldn't care. Mark has hurt him many times before, and had recently been leaving him with mixed signals that Donghyuck himself didn't know what to do with. He shouldn't care if Mark doesn't look well. Or wondering whether Mark has been eating and sleeping properly. Or if he's over-exerting himself like he usually does when he's worried about something.

"Hyuck, no." Renjun cuts through his thoughts like a knife. A tone of voice that almost makes Donghyuck tremble from the abruptness. "We already established that he's not worth your efforts. You already tried everything with him, and now you have a boyfriend. Let him go."

_Let him go?_

There's no way Renjun actually means that. 

Donghyuck only wants to cut off any feelings he has for Mark - not completely remove him from his life! (Not that it was even possible to do anyway).

"How are you _still_ not satisfied?" 

Donghyuck whipped his head back to face Renjun, surprised by the slight older's accusing words.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"It's been barely over a month since you and Seunghun started dating, yet you're still thinking about Mark?" Renjun's tone was disbelieving and somewhat disappointed.

Donghyuck internally winced at the sound of the name casually being slipped into conversation, annoyed at how a mere mention of the boy who he blindly used to chase after, could still have an affect on him, even after everything.

"I'm not thinking about him. I'm just-" Donghyuck cut himself off, taking time to think about what he wanted to say, just in case he ended up saying the wrong thing, "Something's off. He doesn't look happy."

"So?" Renjun raised a brow, "He's never cared when you didn't look happy." 

"I-I know... but..." Donghyuck didn't know how to explain it. He didn't know how to tell his friends that, even though Mark was the cause of his heartbreak, that even though Mark made him feel all sorts of worthless and pathetic, even if Mark was too dense to realise the feelings he had for him - Donghyuck still _cared_. Maybe not in a romantic sense, since he's been trying extra hard to get rid of such feelings, but in a more civil sense.

And, now that he thinks about it, Donghyuck realised that he probably shouldn't have snapped at Mark when the older proposed peace between them. In the end, no matter what Mark thinks of him, or how _little_ he thinks of him, Donghyuck doesn't want to cause anymore trouble between them. He doesn't want to be the origin of conflict if ever they argue or fight. He doesn't want to go through the next couple of years of his college life, of his student council membership, of his partnership with the president, in vain. 

Maybe Mark was right. They need to be on good terms at least. Even if that means that Donghyuck will have to engage with him more than he would like, as well as continue to suppress any emotion that could result in him falling into Mark Lee's trap once again. It'll be a learning experience for him, because Donghyuck knew he needed to realise that Mark just isn't worth his feelings and affection, and that the people he already has in his life, were more than enough to sustain him for the time being. Well, until he finishes college, at least.

"Never mind." he ended up cutting off his previous train of thought as he diverted his attention back to Renjun, "You're right."

"He is?" Jaemin questioned sceptically, "I mean, yeah... Mark Lee is a dumb asshole, but I didn't think you'd let him go that easily."

"Well..." Donghyuck shrugged, deciding not to correct Jaemin's words in light of the realisations he just had, "... I just needed some time to get over it."

Renjun and Jaemin had quizzical looks on their faces, but Donghyuck couldn't bring himself to explain, in modest fear of those confused expression turning into disappointed ones once he tells them how he plans on building a more friendlier and business-type relationship with Mark instead.

He thinks that others would disapprove.

But then again, he liked to try and prove people wrong.

"Donghyuck." Mr Kim called to the young boy at the end of the lesson, "Come here for a moment."

Donghyuck nodded in agreement as he packed up his bag and threw it over his shoulder before making his way towards the front of the lecture hall where his economics class for the past two hours had been in. 

"Yes, professor?" he replied, not knowing whether he should look at his teacher directly, or at the booklet he was holding in his hand. Donghyuck decided to look at the booklet, since his teacher was too scary to make eye-contact with. If Mr Kim wasn't a brilliant economics teacher who pushed every student over their limits, Donghyuck probably wouldn't feel the need to drop the subject as often as he ends up thinking about doing.

"I was planning on handing back test papers tomorrow, but I just finished marking yours since it was the last one, and I have to say, I'm very impressed." Mr Kim... _smiled_.

Donghyuck had to refrain himself from visibly being too in awe by the fact that his professor, Mr Kim, also known as the strictest, harshest teacher in the entire school, just _smiled_ at him. For a moment, he thought he was only imagining things, because there was no way he did so well that he managed to get a smile out of his teacher.

"If I'm being honest, you're doing better than majority of the third year students I teach." Mr Kim admitted, before handing Donghyuck his test paper, "I actually got a shock from the my third year class' results. The average dropped, and I really never expected it to do that."

Donghyuck doesn't really know why his professor is telling him all of this, but he had no choice but to nod and make some sort of noise of acknowledgement, to at least show that he was listening. 

"You've always been in the top 3 rankings, right?" Mr Kim questioned, as if he already knew the answer to his own question, "I think you'll be at number one by the end of this term."

Donghyuck knitted his eyebrows together, picking up the tone in his professor's voice that almost made it seem like he was with-holding information that was specifically important to Donghyuck himself.

"I doubt it, professor." Donghyuck shook his head in denial, "Somehow, the number one spot always ends up being taken by our student council president." even to this day, Donghyuck will still say the fact through gritted teeth.

"Mark Lee? Ah yes, he's one of my best students." Mr Kim nodded, "But I wonder why his last test wasn't up to the standard he usually performs at."

Donghyuck felt his eyes grow wide at the new piece of information. When Mr Kim was talking about how the average for one of his class had suddenly dropped... was he talking about _Mark_?

Mark Lee... did _badly_ on a test?

The words suddenly felt like poison in his mind; something so unfamiliar and unheard of that Donghyuck didn't even want to ponder over whether it was true or not. Suddenly, the way Mark looked so down in the cafeteria earlier all made sense.

Mark's _embarrassed_.

He's embarrassed that, for the first time ever, he didn't do well on a test and ended up lowering his class' average because of his score. He's probably embarrassed that someone else, someone such as Donghyuck himself, would end up taking his spot in first place when the term is finally over.

"I guess he's busied himself with other things." Mr Kim ended up commenting, "I really thought he would want to thrive in his academics more than his extra curricular."

"That's not entirely true, sir." Donghyuck couldn't help but deny the surprisingly accusing assumption. He didn't know whether the feeling was unfamiliar or not, but Donghyuck couldn't help the annoyance bubbling in his chest as he heard how casually his professor was talking about another student. He didn't know the reason behind why Mark didn't manage to maintain the standard he practically set himself this one time, but he knew that it must be something important. Because, as much as Donghyuck could repeatedly get envious over the fact that Mark was unfairly good at balancing his life out with all the things he did besides keeping up with his studies, he understood that not everyone is perfect, and that you can only stay on your highs for so long before you come down to a low.

Some teachers, as well as people in work, just don't understand this.

"Is that so?" Mr Kim gave him a curious look, as if encouraging Donghyuck to elaborate.

"I can't speak from experience, but I'm sure being captain of a sports team as well as student council president, must mean his schedule is quite packed." Donghyuck couldn't meet his professor's eye (once again). He shoved his test paper into his bag and decided that this conversation was too pointless to waste his time continuing. Mr Kim is only his teacher, they don't need any sort of relationship for Donghyuck to ensure himself a passing grade at the end of the year. "Thank you for the lesson."

He quickly made his way out of the classroom, head buzzing with thoughts relating to how strange the conversation he just had with his teacher was.  
But, despite the unusualness of said conversation, Donghyuck couldn't help but think. 

A part of him wonders if Mark is ok.

"Crap! Sorry I'm late, babe." 

Donghyuck looked up from his phone and smiled when Seunghun rushed up to him. He pocketed the device and shook his head.

"It's ok. Did you just come from practise?" he asked the other. 

"Yeah. You know we have to practise twice as hard for that game we have in a few weeks." Seunghun reminded him, as if Donghyuck hadn't been on the receiving end of this very topic for the past few days now. He couldn't really complain, since there was nothing else they could talk about besides extra curricular anyway.

"So, what did you have planned for this afternoon?" Seunghun asked as they made their way back to the latter's dormitory block.

"I was planning on heading to the library. I really need to study." Donghyuck sighed, thinking about finals that were still months away, _but oh my god they're only months away!_ "Wanna join?"

"T-the library?" Seunghun looked at him sceptically, as if he had never heard of the place before, "Study for what?"

"Finals, of course." Donghyuck replied blatantly.

"But finals are ages away! How are you studying for them now?!" Seunghun practically threw his arms up in shock.

Donghyuck only shook his head with a small laugh. He opened the door to his dorm room and quickly headed to his bedroom, deciding to change his clothes into something more comfortable, since he planned to spend every minute in the library until school physically kicks him out and forces him to go home.

"Finals are important and I need to make sure I do well. Starting now is the only way to ensure I cover everything, cover it again, and then do practise questions." Donghyuck explained as he tugged a fabric tote bag over his shoulder, one that he filled with two fairly bulky folders, his pencil case, and a few snacks for the sake of emotional support.

"I love that you're dedicated, babe..." Seunghun started off, reluctantly trailing after the tanned boy, "but I don't think I can start studying right now. It's way too early. Besides, I was hoping we could go over to my dorm and spend some-... some _time_ together."

Donghyuck turned his head to face Seunghun expectantly, his own expressions contorting to a confused one as he tried to figure out the tone in the other's voice.

"We _have_ been pretty busy lately..." Donghyuck admitted, earning a series of enthusiastic nods from Seunghun. It was true; they hadn't had much time to spend with each other in the past couple of weeks, and their relationship was more like a lingering affect on their lives. Something they knew they were in, but didn't pay much attention to. Donghyuck couldn't entirely blame Seunghun, since he had kept himself pre-occupied as well - but it felt as if the walks they have between their last class and the dormitory blocks, suddenly become longer and longer until Donghyuck felt as if it was more of a drag than a peaceful stroll with his boyfriend, after not being able to see him the entire day.

In all honesty, Donghyuck could only take so much of football-talk, and how the football team has had to practise twice as hard for their game, in order to keep their club going. He also managed to learn of the strange rivalry between the football team and basketball team, and although Donghyuck knows little to absolutely nothing about sports, he had to refrain himself from inputting his opinion that rivalries between sports teams of the same school... is completely and utterly pointless.

At the same time... he felt bad. 

Donghyuck feels bad that he wants to put studying first and spending time with Seunghun second. All these realisations link back to the fact that maybe, he really is just high maintenance. That he's just a person who requires a lot from others, but doesn't expect to give anything in return. It's entirely selfish and greedy and Donghyuck wants to hate himself for discovering this side of him. He wants to feel annoyed that it took his first relationship, to make him realise that he really wants it all when it comes to a relationship. 

"I really have to study, Seunghunnie..." Donghyuck dropped his gaze to the ground for a quick moment, before looking back up and internally cringing at the dejected look on Seunghun's face; suddenly feeling incredibly bad with what he said. "But let me make this up to you! This weekend... are you free?"

"I should be, yeah..." Seunghun raised a curious brow, wondering what Donghyuck had in mind.

"Great! Let's go on a date." Donghyuck suggested, his smile bright enough to appear convincing and sincere, "You've planned all our previous dates. I think I should take the lead on this one."

"Hmm... ok then." Seunghun agreed, taking as little time as possible to think about the invitation, since he would really be a fool to even consider denying someone like Lee Donghyuck. "What time?"

"Saturday! At 8! I'll text you the place." Donghyuck spurted out the first thing that came to mind, internally regretting his on-the-spot decision making skills when he realised he had absolutely nothing planned in advance. The only thought running through his mind was how he needed to do something to show Seunghun that he was serious and that he was interested. That he was seriously interested in making their relationship _work_.

"Alright!" Seunghun nodded, "I'll see you then."

"Yeah, see you then." Donghyuck nodded, smiling at Seunghun when the other pressed a kiss on the corner of his lips, only just missing his initial target when Donghyuck ended up tilting his head to the left in surprise, still not used to the suddenness of Seunghun's affections. The kind of affections that were very much welcomed, but not easy to get used to.

Donghyuck waited until Seunghun's figure left his line of sight, before letting a breathy sigh escape from his throat. He turned on his heels and headed towards the school library, adamant to spend as many hours there as possible, at least attempting to be productive and get some work done.

He almost forgot how much peace the library gave him whenever he entered. It was a place of comfort that majority of the school's population took for granted, and Donghyuck couldn't say he wanted it any other way. It meant that the library was almost always completely empty, save for the old librarian sitting behind her desk in the far corner of the vast room. A truly lovely woman who adored books and had great recommendations, but Donghyuck found himself on the receiving end of her wrath every time his volume exceeded the required silence the library demanded. In his defence, Na Jaemin was frequently to blame for that.

With a satisfied and determined huff, he set his things down on his regular table. A table he claimed at the start of his time here in this college. An area he marked as his own ever since he studied there for a test and watched that same test come back with 100% result. Ever since then, Donghyuck was certain the ridged table made of polished wood, where a small lamp sat and a row of books on both ends, was coated with layers of sheer luck.

He sat down and took all his necessities for the evening out of his bag, ready to concentrate for the next few hours until he accomplished all possible goals he could set to achieve in the period of time he had.

A pen in his hand, sheets of paper filled from top to bottom with algorithms and questions he hadn't yet touched up on stared back at him mockingly, as if daring him to start studying and forget about anything or anyone else. 

He couldn't afford to be distracted.

He needed to _concentrate_.

The ballpoint of his pen touched the paper gently, Donghyuck's eyes wondered to the dark view outside the window.

He hadn't even started yet, and he was already _exhausted_.

Focussing is really hard.

Donghyuck may have underestimated the complexity of the skill for far too long because he's been sitting here for nearly two hours, the sky outside has turned ink black and the street lamps were flickering to the point that Donghyuck thinks he's seeing flashing lights against the white of his paper.

So far, he got _nothing_ done. His productive nature that he had been culturing since the start of his educational career, had suddenly fell into a cease of existence and Donghyuck ended up worrying for the lack of progress he was currently displaying.

In no way was he an underachiever. Donghyuck liked to set goals for himself that were equally attainable and achievable. It had never been hard for him to sit in one place and study for hours straight. He could do that with ease. He has done that with ease. But, for some reason, it feels different now and Donghyuck can't pin-point why. He took a few-too-many guilty glances at his phone, tempted to call his friends and make them convince him enough to stop whatever stream of motivation, or lack thereof, he had and force him to just go sleep. 

It's late at night and Donghyuck doesn't even know why he's trying to keep himself awake for a few more fleeting hours that will only pass by in a matter of minutes.

Deciding to ditch his belongings in the library, since he already promised the librarian that he'd lock up afterwards (privileges of being student council vice president, you get after-hours access to places such as the library because, for some reason, the librarian likes you plentily enough to give you such authorisation), Donghyuck decided to go for a leisurely stroll around the empty, dark corridors of the school, keeping his phone torch on since there was no other light source.

He had no particular direction or destination in mind, just letting his feet guide him outside for a bit of air, hoping the chilliness would help him get back on track and get something done before he deems the day to be officially over.

Aimlessly wondering outside, Donghyuck fiddled around with some music and let the slow vibe of KAI's voice sooth his worries as he stumbled around. He probably looked drunk and lost, but to be honest with himself, Donghyuck felt a similar feeling in the pit of his stomach as well.

An unmatched beat vibrated in his ears, disrupting the sensual slowness of the music he had put on to calm his suddenly heightened nerves. A thumping sound that Donghyuck wasn't unfamiliar with, but would prefer not to hear it for the sake of wanting to listen to his music without the annoying disturbance.

He unplugged an airpod out of his ear in attempt to hear where the familiar thumping sound was coming from. The thumping sound grew louder, accompanied with squeaky sounds of what seemed like trainers against polished, gym hall floors.

Because that's exactly where it came from: the gym hall.

'Someone's still here?' he thought, 'This late?'

It's not like the occurrence was anything new, since there had been plenty of times when Donghyuck had seen students spend extra hours using the facilities that remained open even when all classes had ended a good while ago.

Donghyuck peered through the barely open double doors that lead to the courts where basketball practise took place on four out of five school days. There was a figure dressed in a black hoodie and a pair of red basketball shorts. They were dribbling with the ball with a familiar sense of technique and expertise that Donghyuck couldn't help but recognise, despite not being able to see their face clearly.

He cautiously took a few steps closer until the soles of his shoes treaded on unchartered territory, also known as the polished floors of the courts; an expanse of space that he had rarely found himself on. 

He decided not to go any further. 

"What are you doing here?" Donghyuck decided to start off, taking a few moments to figure out that the person in front of him, dressed in casual, late night basketball practise clothing, landing all his hoops perfectly with a single _whoosh_ sound Donghyuck could never get tired of hearing - that the person could only ever be _Mark Lee_.

Mark - as confirmed by Donghyuck's accurate observation skills - jolted slightly before turning around to face him, evidently surprised by the fact that he wasn't alone.

"I could be asking you the same question." Mark tucked the orange basketball under his arm and pushed his hood off his head, revealing a mop of messy black hair, paired with black-rimmed glasses Donghyuck forgot the older had.

"I was in the library." Donghyuck shrugged, balancing on the balls of his feet since he couldn't bring himself to move any closer. "How long have you been here for?"

"A while, I guess." Mark shrugged.

Donghyuck kind of... hates this.

He hates that he's seen how dejected and depressed Mark looked throughout the course of this week, and after finding out about the older's test score, he couldn't help but wonder if Mark was resulting to late night practising to take his mind off things. For him, it may be a reliable method. But for Donghyuck, he can't help but think Mark is wasting his time and energy landing hoop after hoop with no one to practise with him.

In a way, they're both doing the same thing. 

_Counter-productivity is a bitch._

"I'm not going to beat around the bush." Donghyuck stated suddenly, catching Mark's attention, "You look depressed as fuck."

"Thanks. _Really_ wanted to hear that from _you_ of all people." Mark glared at him, and Donghyuck couldn't stop the laugh from escaping his throat even if he wanted to.

_Curse Mark and the casual banter they have that always manages to spring into conversation even when Donghyuck wants nothing to do with him._

"Why are you standing all the way over there?" Mark questioned after a few moments of awkward silence. "The floor isn't lava..."

"I know that, asshole." Donghyuck snapped, suddenly becoming fidgety as he reluctantly walked towards Mark, knowing perfectly well that the distance would only make his thoughts about Mark too obvious.

In a way, it was his own fault for thinking about Mark too much during the week, while simultaneously feeling bad that the older looked so down and miserable for some stupid reason. Donghyuck couldn't be sure whether the reason why Mark was stressed out more than usual was because of his test score, or because of something else. But their current relationship prevented him from asking for any details.

_Civil._

Maybe they _should_ be civil.

"You look like you're walking on ice that's about to break." Mark raised a single brow at him, his expression completely judgemental as he watched Donghyuck edge closer towards him with every cautious step he took.

"Shut up." Donghyuck huffed, crossing his arms and wondering why he was even here in the first place. More importantly, why he was even here talking to Mark Lee.

Donghyuck couldn't say any more when he felt a heavy force collide with his chest, almost knocking the air out of him.

"Ow! What the fuck, Mark?!" Donghyuck growled at him as he picked up the ball that had hit him in the chest and fell to the floor with a thump. "What was that for?!"

"Let's play a game." Mark ignored the younger's whining and proposed a suggestion.

"Why would I play a game with you?" Donghyuck retorted, silently curious for a serious answer.

"Why are you still here then?" Mark asked, those stupid seagull brows of his still raised mockingly.

Donghyuck only knitted his eyebrows and glared at him with a new intensity. Annoyed at himself for not having an answer to that question.

"You know I don't know how to play." Donghyuck changed topic slightly, unable to meet Mark's roaming eyes, "Why even bother asking me."

Mark simply shrugged, stepping closer to take the ball out of Donghyuck's hand, intrigued by the way Donghyuck watched every one of his movements. 

"You happened to be the only one here right now and I need to practise with someone." Mark explained, "Just follow what I say."

Usually, Donghyuck would hate such a command. But Mark had said it in such an inviting way, as if he wanted to show Donghyuck something he had never seen before.

"Stand like this and try to block my shots." Mark instructed, placing himself in the position he wanted Donghyuck to stand in.

Wordlessly, Donghyuck followed, figuring there was no harm in playing a game of basketball with his sworn enemy.

He had no idea what he was supposed to do, but could vaguely recall seeing a few members of the basketball team move with their arms spread open in front of them when blocking a player, following their every move as they try to prevent them from reaching the net. He acted on instinct, trying to follow Mark's energetic moves and effortless glides with faltering grace.

Mark came up close, and Donghyuck could feel all the heat in his body rush up to his face when their bodies brushed briefly, before Mark turned around on his heel and took a shot, which unsurprisingly fell through the net with his signature _whoosh_.

"You started off good... how come you blanked out right at the last moment?" Mark asked after picking the ball back up, "In a game, that would've cost us big time."

"Good thing I'm not on your team, then." Donghyuck replied, letting their eyes linger on each other before breaking contact, completely unaware of the way Mark's gaze lingered.

"Yeah, it really is a good thing." Mark stated after a few moments, "You'd only drag us down."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Donghyuck snapped at him, defensive from the way Mark was suddenly attacking him, "It's not like I spend hours cooped up in here shooting hoops until the balls deflate and you break the net-boards." 

"We've never done that, but ok." Mark rolled his eyes, which only seemed to irk Donghyuck even more. "Do you want to learn then?"

"Learn what? How to play basketball?" Donghyuck questioned, his tone unimpressed, "No? Why would I waste my time like that."

"You never know. You might find that you have a hidden talent." Mark shrugged all-so-nonchalantly, "You seem to be good at everything you try anyway."

If Mark's words didn't hit Donghyuck's pride particularly hard, Donghyuck was certain he would've flushed so red, his face would turn into the same colour as Mark's shorts. 

_That was a compliment, wasn't it?_

"Try it." Mark passed him the ball, and this time, Donghyuck actually caught it. "Try taking a shot."

Donghyuck looked between the ball in his hand and Mark's unexpecting expression. What is he even doing? Why is he here? Why is he talking to Mark? Why is he trying to entertain the older, just because he happened to see Mark looking particularly down this week? Their relationship hasn't changed in any way. If Donghyuck continues to do this, then he'll have no one but himself to blame when he comes out on the other end completely heartbroken all over again.

With a shudder running down his spine at the feeling of Mark's eyes watching him, Donghyuck turns around and lifts his hands up to aim for the net, his vision going fuzzy for a few moments before adjusting to the criss-cross pattern the white net consisted of. He didn't know what to do first. Should he bend his knees first? His elbows? Should he flick his wrist at the end? Should he step a little further back? The length from the tip of his shoes to the base of the net was roughly three metres, with a height of around nine feet. If he calculates the trajectory of his aim, then he should-

"Relax." 

Donghyuck felt his entire body freeze up. 

There was a presence pressing up against his back and hands reaching up to his own, which were clasped even more tightly than before around the ball. 

"You're so tense." Mark muttered to him, his words melting like chocolate as he mumbled them into Donghyuck's ear, "You better not be calculating the perfect arc for this shot."

Donghyuck didn't have time to make it obvious that he was doing just that. His brain was too pre-occupied with the way he could practically _feel_ Mark against him. Their bodies were brushing and Donghyuck could feel Mark's arms around his shoulders. He could feel Mark's hands hovering over his own, he could feel Mark's breath tickling his skin. He could feel _Mark_.

Mark was so, _so_ close to him. A small proximity between them that made Donghyuck feel as if he was trapped between Mark's arms, and that the older didn't want him to escape, that whatever he was talking about, whatever words he's using to try and coax him into taking a shot, whatever Mark was _breathing_ into his ear, was far more interesting than whatever else Donghyuck could possibly be thinking about.

And that's where it gets ironic. It's ironic because Donghyuck can't possibly be thinking about anything or anyone else. He can't. Not when Mark is pressed up against him like this. Not when Donghyuck knows his gaze subconsciously lingers whenever the older isn't looking, so Donghyuck can proceed with his longing stares from the far end of the cafeteria. Not when Donghyuck gets protective over Mark if a teacher talks about him behind his back and overall treats him unfairly for no reason. Not when Donghyuck's been thinking about Mark's happiness more than his own this entire fucking time. 

Not when Donghyuck forces himself to have nothing to do with Mark Lee, yet finds himself wanting Mark to hold him tighter. Ends up wanting Mark to not be talking about basketball, and instead talking about him. Thinking about how Mark's arms could be wrapped around his waist, and how Mark's toned chest could be hugging him from behind. 

The chances are one out of a hundred. It's close to impossible and Donghyuck thinks he must be seeing things, because Mark has taken the ball out of his hand and let it roll on the floor. A pair of hands turn Donghyuck around by his waist until they're facing each other and their gazes connect. 

' _What's going on?_ ' Donghyuck kept asking himself, ' _Why is he looking at me like that?_ '

"You seem... _distracted_ , vice president." Mark declared, as if it wasn't the most obvious statement in the world. 

"I don't think we're that much different then." Donghyuck forced his words to come out above a whisper, not wanting to lose to Mark when it comes to volume.

"You're right." Mark nodded curtly, "I _am_ distracted. I've been very distracted."

"Is that why your test came out like that?" Donghyuck mumbled, wanting to push away from Mark until there was more space between them.

"You know?" Mark didn't look offended, just curious about how Donghyuck managed to obtain that piece of information.

"Mr Kim-"

" _Ah_... I see." Mark cut Donghyuck's sentence off, not wanting to hear the rest as he moved away.

Donghyuck ended up subtly reaching out to bring Mark back, but he stopped himself instantly, realising all too suddenly what he was about to do.

"Well, that sucks. Teachers can't even keep test scores private." Mark pursed his lips together in a tight line, showing that he didn't need Donghyuck to tell him how he ended up finding out, since the mention of their teacher's name alone was enough. Even though Mark didn't explicitly show it, Donghyuck could tell he was pissed, and he had every right to be. But that didn't explain why Mark was here late at night, practising basketball by himself.

It didn't make sense why he was doing all of that, while also making Donghyuck's heart beat erratically until he's certain he would suffer from heart failure any moment.

"You didn't even do that badly." Donghyuck didn't know why he cared all of a sudden, but it's been over a year since he figured out that he does care, that he cares a little too much.

"Great. My standards have reached an all time low if _you're_ saying that." Mark scoffed, clearly displeased.

"If you don't want it to happen again," Donghyuck started off, "then don't get distracted." he advised, as if it was the easiest thing to do, despite having fallen for distractions many times before himself.

"Trust me-" Mark suddenly asks him, looking at the tanned boy with a dazed look that the younger could never decipher, "I'm trying."

Mark doesn't take his eyes off him, and Donghyuck suddenly shifts uncomfortably with the unhealthy amount of staring Mark is doing. His mind ends up wondering off to only a few moments ago when Mark was pressed up against him. The position wasn't entirely unfamiliar, but the touch forced Donghyuck's mind to think back to all the times their bodies would end up being so close to each other - there would be no space to even breathe. Donghyuck has felt Mark's body before, he's seen Mark's body before, he's _loved_ Mark's body before; and having the older press up against him like they've done many times prior, in a time that seems so far away from when it actually was, Donghyuck doesn't know whether he wants to feel Mark's touches again.

Maybe he was wrong.

Maybe being civil isn't what they need right now. 

How could Donghyuck possibly be civil with a guy he's crushed on for so long, a guy he's done practically everything his human capability could possibly make him do, a guy he's chased after heedlessly and heartfully, pouring his affections out in silent longing for no one but himself to suffer with. 

Realisations come fast and painful. For Donghyuck, they always, _always_ do.

Only now, he realises that maybe... maybe he's still in love with Mark.

Mark Lee, and all his faults. Mark Lee and all the pain he inflicts on his heart. Mark Lee and his willingness to do better than he needs to and then beat himself up when he doesn't reach his standards. 

It's a terribly shitty quality of his that Donghyuck finds himself relating to the most.

And that's only another reason to add to the list of reasons why Donghyuck may still have all these unwanted feelings for Mark:

Mark and him... they're just so alike.

Donghyuck has always wanted that with someone. Even though the universe has never been kind to him and made that someone be Mark Lee. There has never been much he could gain from harbouring feelings for Mark, but Donghyuck had already long established that and it took moving on and dating someone else to actually accept it.

But that doesn't mean Donghyuck's a bad person who's inconsiderate of people's feelings and disregards their happiness if he can blatantly see that they are not happy.

It's either that, or Donghyuck is really missing _something_.

There must be something that he's not satisfied with right now. Something he wants but doesn't have, no matter how much he craves for it.

"I almost forgot how much you like to zone out." Mark's words abruptly cuts off Donghyuck's train of thought, causing the younger to look up at the older, who was gazing at him judgementally (as always).

"I-I wasn't zoning out!" Donghyuck quickly denied, embarrassed by being caught off guard like that. "Anyway... I need to go. I have a reservation to make..." he mumbled the last few words, but Mark heard them anyway.

"Reservation?" Mark raised a brow curiously.

"O-oh... uhhh..." Donghyuck felt heat rise up his neck, "it's none of your business." he quickly snaps, not wanting to entertain Mark's thoughts any longer. He doesn't want to stay _here_ any longer.

"Ok then." Mark couldn't help but laugh at the angry look Donghyuck was sporting, as if the younger was forcing himself to get annoyed at him.

Their conversation seemed to end just like that, and Donghyuck knew he should be leaving. He probably should've left a while ago actually. Moments like these with Mark are frustrating and confusing, because it's as if nothing's changed. It feels as if they've been walking on burning rocks when they're with each other. They're teasing each other, winding each other up, just being so damn casual that Donghyuck doesn't understand why things aren't changing. He's with someone else now, he's trying to develop feelings for someone new - Mark should mean nothing to him. 

Is the process longer than he expected?

Is he still holding on because, if he thinks really hard about it, Mark will always be his first love, and nothing he does can ever change that fact?

For a brief moment, Donghyuck wonders if he should consider this as 'still chasing after Mark'. His feet _did_ lead him here, he _did_ engage in conversation, he let Mark play around with him, they're talking normally right now. 

To be honest, Donghyuck should've known all the progress he had slowly built up would crumble back down to square one the moment he set eyes on Mark's figure in the middle of the courts and decided _not_ to walk away.

That very motion of him recognising Mark's figure and opting on initiating conversation should have been the first sign that, in reality, Donghyuck has made no progress at all. Unless you count the progress he made with Seunghun; even that seemed to be regressing more than he would've liked. 

It's really confusing, to the point that Donghyuck's brain physically hurts from thinking so much. Mark has been sending him weird looks, he's been popping up randomly when he's trying to get intimate with Seunghun, they keep running into each other and being forced into some sort of interaction because their roles of responsibility entitles them to do so. Mark's expressions have usually been pretty decipherable, except for the odd few that Donghyuck could never pin-point, no matter how much time he wastes trying to crack the series of codes that are Mark's feelings.

It makes him think back to the colourful wheel of emotions Donghyuck used to spend time working on, trying to update pieces of information in relevant categories, all related to Mark's moods.

Sadness and jealousy, wasn't it?

The two emotions Donghyuck had yet to see from the older. Admittedly, Mark seemed pretty depressed these past few days, but Donghyuck couldn't be sure whether it was sadness or something else. And there's a plan formulating in his head. One that he has no intention to try out, but his bodily movements repent such thoughts and go for it anyway, completely against his own will, just for the sake of satisfying his own curiosity.

"Actually..." he ends up picking up the conversation again, attracting the older's attention, "I was wondering... do you know any good restaurants for dates?"

Donghyuck observes the way Mark's grip on the basketball in his hand tightens to the point where he can see the older's knuckles turn even whiter than their normal pale complexity. The infamous unreadable expression Donghyuck has always had the pleasure of seeing is etched all over Mark's face, and for the first time, Donghyuck doesn't want to let it slide over. He wants some sort of closure, one that will reinforce the removal of any feelings that may still linger, because at least he's accepted it now. He's accepted that first loves aren't easy to get over at all. It'll take time, and Donghyuck is willing to wait years if it means getting rid of any remnants of affection he may still have for Mark Lee.

"Why are you asking me?" Mark doesn't sound curious, if anything, Donghyuck could assume he sounds a little... _annoyed_?

"I don't know. You're here right now and I've got a date on Saturday." Donghyuck shrugged, "It's only convenient. Besides, the student council president knows everything, right?"

"Since when did you start believing in such things?" Mark looks pissed and Donghyuck felt proud that he managed to make the older angry.

Donghyuck felt proud that Mark is angry at him, but for the first time, he wants nothing more after that.

"Stop asking me questions!" Donghyuck huffed, crossing his arms for added emphasis, "I only asked if you know any good restaurants." 

Donghyuck was eternally grateful he decided to cultivate his theatrical skills as much as he did up until now. Because when he thinks about it, this entire conversation is so, so weird. Why is he asking his ex-fuckbuddy about restaurant recommendations for a date he's going on with his boyfriend? Why does he had to over-complicate everything?!?!

"You clearly know I don't care." Mark stated, as a fact and not an opinion. 

"But I need you to care." Donghyuck stepped closer, not knowing where he was going with this conversation, but then again, he was scarily good at improvisation, " _I_ want to know which restaurant _you_ think I should go to with _my_ boyfriend."

"What are you playing at, Lee?" Mark looked seriously mad, and Donghyuck wanted nothing more than to capture the older's expression in a photo.

Donghyuck watched as Mark stepped closer to him as well, until the distance between them was non-existent once again. There has been too many cases where their proximity has overstretched the boundaries Donghyuck had silently laid out for them. _Mark_ has overstepped those boundaries way too many times for Donghyuck to keep letting it happen.

"Nothing, honestly. I just want your advice." Donghyuck didn't back down, "What? It's nothing new, right? I've asked you for advice before."

"And I'm telling you that I don't care." Mark snarled, "Therefore, I don't need to give you an answer."

"But _why_ can't you give me an answer?" Donghyuck continued to press further. There's something Mark's not telling him, "You've been acting weird, Mark Lee."

"Oh yeah?" Mark nodded his head up slightly, "How so?"

"I can't explain it with words." Donghyuck admitted, because he really can't describe how he thinks Mark's emotions have been fluctuating more than they usually do when they're near each other. 

"So you have no proof? You just want me to give you an answer, because everyone needs to answer to-"

Donghyuck doesn't let Mark finish his sentence. He takes Mark's hands and manually puts it on his waist, before taking the other one into his own hand and pressing up impossibly close to the older.

Mark is looking at him incredulously, sheer disbelief masking his features as he stares Donghyuck down.

"Isn't this weird to you, Mark hyung?" Donghyuck asks, testing out his so-called 'theory'.

"Your making it sound like I get affected every time we touch." Mark said through gritted teeth.

"Then why are you so _angry_ , Mark?" Donghyuck puts emphasis on the word, wondering exactly when will the time come where he can finally be at peace with his feelings for the older.

What he doesn't expect is for Mark to squeeze his waist tightly before leaning down to whisper in his ear. The sensations shoots sharp daggers down Donghyuck's spine, to the point where it feels like he's been paralysed.

"Because you're asking me about your dumbass boyfriend when I've literally seen you _naked_ , Lee Donghyuck."

The words were so straight-forward and concise. Mark doesn't even bother to sugar-coat it with an umbrella term for what they used to do. Instead, he makes it sound like Donghyuck shouldn't be asking Mark such questions. Donghyuck already knows that, but he's sick of having to deal with Mark's conflicting attitude and fake appreciation. 

"Does it bother you, then?" Donghyuck decides to add.

"Why should it?" Mark didn't hesitate to answer. "I thought I made myself clear plenty of times before. I don't care what you do or what you want to do. Your life has got nothing to do with me."

"Yet you somehow seemed to be involved in everything I do." Donghyuck stared up at him in wonder.

"If I keep running into you, then that's purely by coincidence." Mark shoots him down instantly, removing his hand and stepping backwards, "Don't get too cocky, Donghyuck. You don't need the _entire_ student body after you."

"It's a massive stretch," Donghyuck folded his arms, his expression stoic and unconcerned, "but I would go as far as saying that you're jealous, Mark Lee."

"Of what?" Mark couldn't help but chuckle, "What's there to be jealous of? If I remember correctly, it was _me_ who had _you_ pinned down around this time most evenings. Honestly, there's nothing to miss at all."

Donghyuck clenched his fist tightly, feeling the words strike his pride particularly hard. Mark was blatantly humiliating him with crude, uncensored words. There was nothing remotely nice about what Mark was saying, and Donghyuck didn't understand why he was forcing himself to endure this more than he should. 

He wanted to throw Mark off at least _once_. He wanted to get back at the older for all the times he's been embarrassed and disgraced after nearly every interaction they've had. But Mark wouldn't budge. The older still acts as if he has the upper hand, as if he had control over whatever form of a relationship he and Mark currently and previously had. 

While thinking about this, Donghyuck also ends up wondering why he's wasting his precious time. 

Mark doesn't deserve his attention, but somehow, Donghyuck had unwillingly and unknowingly managed to give it to him, as if he had fallen into yet another trap Mark had set out to purposely trip him up and embarrass him once again. 

__How does he keep falling for this?_ _

Donghyuck thinks that he's either incredibly naïve, or that he's completely to blame. That, some part of him still yearns for Mark's attention, even if it meant being disrespected and insulted in such a way. It isn't in any way healthy, and Donghyuck really hates Mark for it. 

"Really? Nothing to miss?" Donghyuck hated the way Mark carelessly regarded him like that, as if every night they spent together was _barely_ satisfying on Mark's behalf. That every time he undressed and gave himself up, Mark never felt pleasure while Donghyuck found himself drowning in it. 

_Disgusting._

"Were you expecting to hear something different?" Mark questioned, almost in disbelief of his own words. He felt the urge to step towards the younger once more, but then he reminded himself that he hates back-and-forth processes with no finish. "Were you expecting me to miss whatever we did? I hope you know that it really did mean nothing to me. Besides, you've got a boyfriend now, right? A replacement if anything." 

"He's _not_ a replacement." Donghyuck snarled, voice laced in annoyance and anger. 

"Right, obviously... why would you need to replace something that was never there to begin with?" Mark sent him one more look, "Of course..." 

Donghyuck felt sick to his stomach all over again. This was the most they've talked about whatever happened between them since, well, since they started _it _. It should be awkward, and Donghyuck wants to use this as leverage to prove to himself that Mark is only a selfish bastard who doesn't deserve his feelings and attention. Yet here he is, getting annoyed and upset with the fact that Mark has literally never fucking _cared_. __

____

Mark has never cared and he never will care, and a change in their relationship won't alter that fact in any way. 

____

Donghyuck could've broken things off long before he actually did, and nothing would change. Mark would still treat him the same coldness and disrespect, even though now, at least Mark had the decency to ask for peace between them when it came to student council stuff. 

____

If Donghyuck didn't stop whatever game he decided to start playing with Mark at the start of this evening, then he really is just a foolish loser who chases after someone who satisfies him, but doesn't feel satisfaction in return. 

____

"Right." he forces his words out, "You're... _right_." it's painful to say, but Donghyuck swallows up his pride just so he could leave in the next few minutes, hopefully less. 

____

"Glad to hear you're finally admitting it-" 

____

You're right about me not needing to replace something that was never there." Donghyuck interrupted him, "Because, unlike you, some people have a heart and knows how to treat others well. Something you're clearly incapable of." 

____

When Mark doesn't say anything in response, Donghyuck takes advantage of the silence and makes his way towards the door leading out of the courts. He'll shamelessly take this moment as a victory, after humiliating himself for so long, he finally managed to say something back. He finally managed to stand his ground and not give in. 

__

__He finally managed to render Mark Lee speechle-_ _

__

__"Woah!" Donghyuck let out a small yelp when he felt his body being swivelled around, before being pushed against the wall, his back meeting the cold stone, sending a shiver down his spine, despite the hoodie he was wearing to keep himself warm._ _

__

__Mark's hand seemed to have returned to his waist, while the other was pressed against the space next to the younger's head._ _

__

__Donghyuck felt slightly dizzy from the rapid motion, a fleeting memory of a similar situation resurfacing in his mind when Donghyuck really didn't want it to. Back then, he was drunk, but now, they're completely sober and aware of what's going on._ _

__

__Mark was looking straight at him, and Donghyuck doesn't understand why the older keeps doing _this_. He doesn't understand why Mark keeps pulling him back every time he tries to leave. If there's anything else he needs to say, he should just say it! He shouldn't give Donghyuck the false hope that he managed to leave with his ending note, that he won this particular battle. That he's not the one having to re-think everything when the other's not there._ _

__

__"You have a lot of opinions about me." Mark stated, his voice low and raspy, and Donghyuck is certain he's never seen Mark like _this_ before. "But let's be real. While I don't miss whatever we used to do, you can't deny that, for you, nothing can compare."_ _

__

__"W-what are you talking about?" Donghyuck managed to squeak out, his own body numbing under the presence of Mark's figure shadowing his own._ _

__

__"You may be with _him_ ," Mark continued, "but no matter what you do, you won't be able to forget about _me_."_ _

__

__Donghyuck felt his eyes widen and his lips part slightly. Does Mark even know what he's saying right now? There's no way Mark means that. All of a sudden, it sounds as if Mark actually _cares_._ _

__

__"How can you be so sure of that?" Donghyuck wonders if his volume is above the sound of a breath, because the words don't even feel as if they're coming out of his mouth._ _

__

__"I can't explain with words." Mark mocks, using the younger's own words against him._ _

__

__Donghyuck doesn't understand what they're doing. He should've left ages ago. He was supposed to be searching for the perfect restaurant for a perfect date with his perfect boyfriend. So why is he still here? Why is he still in this position, trapped between the wall and Mark's body._ _

__

__It's completely impulsive and spontaneous, but Donghyuck let his hand wonder up Mark's arm, the one the older uses to hold his waist still. His hand finds purchase on Mark's shoulder, before realising that the feeling wasn't enough, it didn't compare to the feeling Donghyuck felt jolting through his veins and triggering all his synapses when he traced his hand further up and let it rest on Mark's cheek._ _

__

__He searching for something in the older's eyes, a sort of sign to scream at him that this is a big, _big_ mistake. That he should leave right now before its too late and he ends up doing something he'll regret._ _

__

__Mark looks out of it. The grip he has on Donghyuck's waist tightens and he can feel his body leaning inwards, closer towards the tanned boy he has trapped against the wall once again. The hand on his cheek is warm and he doesn't understand why he pulled Donghyuck back, preventing him from leaving for probably the hundredth time. (He knows he's not done it a hundred times, but it really feels like that)._ _

__

__He can feel their noses brush, and something similar to a spark lights up inside him when he catches the way Donghyuck's eyes flutter close until those pretty eyelashes of his fan out over his cheekbones, which seemed to be dusted in a hue of pink, but the dim lighting was restricting Mark's vision incredibly unfairly._ _

__

__In a way, it reminds Mark about the weird daydream he had when he was close to sleeping with someone else. He could recall the way their feelings were somewhat mutual, and the way he had called the younger sweet names and held him carefully and gently._ _

__

__He doesn't want to do that now, but he can't help but notice the way Donghyuck isn't pushing him away for once, as if he's wordlessly handing the control over to Mark. Maybe its the curiosity that never seems to be satisfied whenever Mark gets close like this. A sort of hunger that makes him question what his feelings actually are._ _

__

__There's a tingling sensation when their lips sweep over each other and Mark doesn't know why he finds the simple motion so enticing._ _

__

__He also wonders why he hesitates, when he's never cared for how people feel when he's intimate with them. But Lucas' words flicker in his head and Mark is forced to remember that, somehow, he feels a certain way when he's with Donghyuck. Those feelings, the ones he's been rejecting and ignoring ever since he heard about them, are too vague and confusing for Mark to ponder over for too long. They mustn't be anything serious anyway, so Mark doesn't think about it._ _

__

___How many times has he tried this?_ _ _

__

__Mark thinks he's tried to kiss Donghyuck too many times for it to _not_ be considered pathetic._ _

__

__Before he loses himself and gives in right there and then, Mark pulls back swiftly, realising that he's been finding himself in this sort of position way too often. When he's referring to 'this sort of position', he means having a boy, who he should be considering as his enemy, pressed up against the wall with the mild intention of needing to be kissed senseless, even though said boy has a boyfriend._ _

__

__Mark watches in hidden amusement when Donghyuck blinks his eyes open, a confused expression etched all over his face when Mark creates distance between them._ _

__

__"See?" Mark chuckles, as if he actually found their circumstances funny, "I told you. You can't forget about me... no matter who you're with."_ _

__

__Mark doesn't want to look at Donghyuck's distraught expression any longer, because he knows that if he does. he'll want to go back and finish off what they barely started. Instead, he'll just take his leave, a smile lingering on his lips, knowing he left Donghyuck there all flustered and confused._ _

__

__It's not ideal. But Mark realised that he didn't need to have the younger in his bed to play with him._ _

__

__A part of his mind acknowledges the fact that he does have feelings for Donghyuck._ _

__

__And he's just so, _so_ glad, those feelings aren't _love_._ _

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruh the tension between them got me feeling like quidhawioshoqiwjss
> 
> anyway! 10k+ words of nonsense!! love that :')  
> i don't want to say that i dislike this chapter, because i worked hard on it and i think it turned out ok - but it's hard to force them to keep their back-and-forth relationship up, because i know they need to do it before they can reach a resolve, but at the same time, it's making my anxiety go through the roof ;-;  
> hopefully, you guys aren't too upset with how i'm portraying hyuck in this - i want to make sure that's it's obvious that they're both incredibly confused and conflicted with the way they're feeling - one acknowledges the fact that they still have feelings, but doesn't want anything to do with them; and the other recently discovered they have feelings, but completely mis-interpreted them :(  
> it's a long and agonizing process... and i can only say that things will escalate AFTER next chapter!  
> notice: the reason why i took so long to update was because this fcking chapter took AGES to proof-read and edit... mainly bc it was 10k words BUT STILL.... and then i ended up writing a 12k chapter as well that i'll be releasing next (idk when) ... I DON'T KNOW WHY OR HOW I'M WRITING SO MUCH... but i can't help it ;-;  
> hopefully... after things have settled down, i'll go back to releasing shorter chapters :)
> 
> i would also like to mention that i BASICALLY PREDICTED KAI'S SOLO DEBUT!! hmph... i did >:(  
> i think i mentioned KAI in a much earlier chapter, which i wrote during lockdown, and still released before the Kai's gorgeous mini album came out.... so no copyright but YES!
> 
> also!! this fic has reached 21k+ hits and 800+ kudos?!? that's absolutely insane!! thank you so much! idk what i did to deserve this much recognition, and i seriously think this book is unnecessarily dramatic - but i sincerely appreciate the time everyone takes out of there day just to read this and look forward to updates and comment on the chapters!! it makes me so happy !! thank you so much ! 
> 
> moving on to NEO CITYYYY~  
> i was watching the new episode of JCC while editing this (and then i got really distracted which is why it took so long to edit and proof-read)... and Johnten with MARK OH MY DREAMMMMSS~ i love that trio so much :'(  
> and Doyoung, Jungwoo, Renjun and Chenle 'D.ear' cover like THANK YOU KINGS??!? they're gods wbk-
> 
> i can't remember if i talked abt the nct 2020 performances in the last chapter, but omg nct 2020 is so freaking powerful-  
> and shotaro doing a special stage with my tbz juyeon, skz hyunjin and astro moonbin- LIKE SHOTARO SUPREMACYYY!! also juyeon and hyunjin are my biases it was such a blessed stage ;-;
> 
> and jeno, mark, haechan and sungchan on that coffee commercial show onwoidnoq cute- i love the opportunities sungchan and shotaro are getting-  
> but i really hope we'll see more xiaoyangdery as well!!
> 
> we've also only been getting markhyuck crumbs BUT ITS FINE BC NOMIN ASMR CAME THROUGH AND SATISFIED MY ULT SHIPS HEART JUST RIGHT. 
> 
> there's probably been a lot more... a lot of solo vlives that i spent a week dying over... but i cba writing it out coz i just wanna release this chapter... SOOOO
> 
> anyway... thank you again for all the support! it means the world to me and i hope you guys will stick with this just for a little longer!! hopefully, next chapter will be a bit more fluffier :') JUST A BIT
> 
> i'll reply to the previous comments soon :) sorry... i've been busy with work! but this fic has a clear path so do not worrryyyy! :'D
> 
> thank you again for reading! see you next update!!
> 
> ~Risa <3


	36. thirty four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last time, last time, last time! i swear! i swear!!  
> please trust me, please trust me, please trust me!
> 
> it's just gonna be really intense in the upcoming chapters... so if ur planning on sticking around (even tho this fic is a massive MESS) - please beware :')
> 
> sorry for any grammatical errors ;-;
> 
> hope you like this chapter :)

Mark Lee does not care for any feelings that could possibly associate with the idea of being in _love_. 

Not that he doesn't believe in the concept of true love. Actually, his perceptions of the supposedly intense emotion had recently been reinforced when his mother got re-married and his previously broken family became whole once more, finally being able to cut his cheating-father out of the picture for good.

So it definitely wasn't that he didn't think love existed. 

He just thought it was something he didn't need to spend time on, or waste energy thinking about. Such feelings were futile in his current time and age. Why worry about forming important attachments and committing yourself into a relationship at the age of nineteen, when he had his entire life ahead of him? 

He had already planned on leading a much lower-profile life when he leaves college and heads for university, knowing that he didn't need to stand out as much, or carry around impressive titles to show off on his records. During that time, Mark will simply fade in with the crowd, he'll be hiding in libraries and finishing assignments, he'll continue getting the best grades in his classes, he'll finish university with flying colours and put a stop to his education and finally enter the world of work. _Then_ , he'll pay more attention to it. When Mark is free of the troubles that include having to be overly-social and conforming to people's perferences and expectations, then he'll think about love more.

Hopefully, by then, he'll have low expectations and not care too much of who he falls in love with. Who knows, maybe he'll be incapable of falling in love? That all these years of resistance and only sticking to no-strings attached relationships and many, many rejected confessions directed towards him, he'll just never find the _one_.

For someone like Mark, leading a life only knowing his friends and probably living alone... it didn't sound all that bad. Efficiency, productivity and independence has made him a pretty hard-working and clearly capable person now, so it would only make sense that similar attributes will continue to make him reliable and respected in the future as well. He doesn't plan on throwing away the sturdy order he had scheduled for himself any time soon, especially not at the loss of some feelings he may start to develop in the near future.

_Yes._

Mark Lee does not need love. 

He's adamant that everything comes in due time, and that college is not the place for him to be worrying about committed relationships.

His reasoning stands clear, and Mark wants to feel proud that he was able to organise his thoughts and finish off with a suitable conclusion, knowing well that his actions were completely justified.

"Can you sign this?"

A soft voice cut off his train of thoughts, forcing him to look up, missing the sheet of paper placed on his desk in front of him.

Donghyuck was standing at a far distance from his chair, his hands behind his back and his gaze fixated on the floor, as if the leather on his shoes was much more interesting than Mark himself.

"What's this for?" Mark asked, glancing back at the sheet of paper and properly taking a look at.

"Besides the Summer festival, there are a few end of year trips as well as the fourth years' graduation dance. We just need permission from you to start preparations. I already talked to Principal Choi and he said that as long as everything is done on time and that it doesn't affect students' study schedules, then we can let it happen." Donghyuck explained, still unable to look at the older.

Mark could feel annoyance bubbling in his chest, internally debating telling the younger that it was rude not to look directly at the person he was talking to. It was only that reason, and definitely not the fact that, even from a distance, he could see the tips of Donghyuck's ears flush red, and a brief curiosity filled him, causing him to wonder whether the latter's cheeks were the same colour as well... _if only he could just look up._

"I'm not disproving it, especially since I'm letting it happen..." Mark sighed, taking his pen and bringing the ink-tip to the paper, "but if anything goes wrong, it will be _your_ responsibility."

"Yeah, I know." Donghyuck replied shortly, taking the now-signed sheet of paper from Mark and walking back to his desk without another word.

Mark couldn't help but frown at the subtle silent treatment he was receiving. Was Donghyuck still bothered about what happened yesterday? Was it really something he needed to hold onto? Admittedly, Mark thought about it too, he thought about the sight of the younger trapped against the wall, his big eyes gazing up at him and his warm palm against his skin. Mark could think about the way their lips brushed for days on end, but he didn't want Donghyuck to know that at least. 

Again, just because Mark isn't interested in finding someone right now, doesn't mean he doesn't think about all the strange feelings he's had to endure for a while now. Because, as much as it bothers him that he thought about Donghyuck when he was about to have sex with another person, which ultimately forced him to back out and pretend the whole exchange never happened. As much as he didn't want Lucas to expose the weird feelings he's been having lately so blatantly and openly. As much as he didn't want to accept the fact that he may feel a certain way towards Donghyuck... Mark couldn't deny any of it.

What he did know, after plenty of thought and consideration, that whatever he felt for Donghyuck, whatever sickening emotion or feeling of desire he experiences when he thinks about Donghyuck; he's so glad it's not love.

Mark is so, _so_ relieved the feelings he has for Donghyuck isn't love.

Things would get way too messy if they were. So he really is elated they're not.

With the satisfaction of knowing exactly what his feelings were (more so of what they _weren't_ ) Mark thinks that it's perfectly acceptable to stare at Donghyuck when the latter isn't looking. The early spring has no mercy on them, but the days are gradually getting longer again and the sun is staying up for a couple more hours than during winter, so the beams of light shining through the window should be a blessing.

But for Mark, who has to refrain his jaw from dropping open like a fool, he almost wishes the sun would just set already. 

Donghyuck's soft, brunette curls fall over his forehead until they kiss his eyelashes. His nose scrunched up and his mouth slightly agape, his lips jutting out and his eyebrows furrowed as he reads over the contents of whatever sheet of paper he has in his hands. Mark didn't care about what the latter was reading, the thought of the piece of paper being something important just not passing through in his mind like it should. Instead, he watches the way Donghyuck's face relaxes, the slope of his nose visible again, a cute, little button-shape. The world really must not be on his side, because Mark feels his body grow hot at the way Donghyuck swiped a tongue over his bottom lip, leaving a sheen trail behind which only accented under the light of the sun. 

He briefly wonders why the heights of Donghyuck's cheekbones were tinting pink. It's a brilliant hue nonetheless, and still renders Mark speechless, but he can't help but be a little curious. 

"A-are you done staring?" Donghyuck's words snap at Mark's attention, causing the older to shake himself out of whatever trance he was in and pay attention to what the latter was saying.

"I was just wondering if you've finished the reports I sent you last night." Mark quickly made up an excuse, not knowing why his heart dropped momentarily at the idea of being caught staring.

"I put them on your desk this morning and you already said that you'd have a look at them?" Donghyuck raised a brow, looking at the older in confusion, something similar to a blush still high on his supple cheeks.

Mark had to take a moment to just sit and stare once again. 

A part of his mind thinks the tints of the younger's cheeks have never looked so... _mesmerizing_?

He could already rest assure knowing that his feelings weren't in any way related to love, but Mark needed to find out what was happening to him and _why_.

Why does he had to think about Donghyuck when he's with other people? Why does the thought of kissing Donghyuck flash so frequently in his mind, to the point where Mark ends up crushing all his morals and dignity just to feel those pretty pair of heart-shaped lips against his? Why has Mark thought about calling Donghyuck pretty names, the endearing kind that he knows will make Donghyuck blush prettily, forcing Mark to witness the rare sight of Donghyuck being _shy_?

Why does he think about the possibility of Donghyuck being _his_?

Lucas was right about one thing.

Mark often finds himself falling incredibly, irrevocably and uncontrollably jealous. It was such a foreign feeling that he's never tied down to with anyone in his entire life. He hates the sight of Donghyuck with someone else, _especially that football captain_. It's an annoying sight to have to witness. The way they're unable to take their hands off each other, and the way they whisper secrets to each other's ears, only for them to know about. The way that captain makes Donghyuck laugh and smile so brightly, when in Mark's respectful opinion, he's completely undeserving to hear Donghyuck's laugh. He isn't worthy enough to hear the sounds Donghyuck makes.

And the thought causes Mark's stomach to coil, a sickening feeling to rise in his gut when he thinks about the possibility of Donghyuck and his boyfriend already having done _it_. 

A part of Mark really hopes that they haven't, and that Donghyuck didn't take their relationship to the next level. He's also hoping that Donghyuck will soon realise that his boyfriend isn't good enough for him, and that he has nothing to show off; no title, no particular achievement, no goals or dreams - _nothing_. 

They probably don't even share the same interests. Where Mark knows Donghyuck is artistic and freeform, the style of his music and movements perfectly in harmony with each other. There is no way someone as low class as that football captain could even scratch the surface of the exquisite nature that is Lee Donghyuck.

In no way is he a matchmaker, and he has no intention to interfere in people's lives and decide who fits best with who, because it simply isn't up to him. 

But Donghyuck isn't just _anyone_ , and Mark had to realise that the hard way. He can't help but know _exactly_ who Donghyuck is. The time they've spent cooped up in the student council room for a year and a half, arguing and fighting, teasing and fucking, playing around each other like animals; Mark has accumulated intel on Donghyuck like the latter was his prey. It's not his fault that he knows Donghyuck so well, well enough to judge the people who chase after him like blind dogs, begging for a little bit of gold that only Donghyuck could provide. 

But that's just it.

Mark knows, that in all aspects, _he_ has the upper hand. He took Donghyuck's first, and second, and third, and every other time after that. He's held onto Donghyuck's affections for longer than anyone else could. He's gone through turmoil after turmoil holding Donghyuck and discovering the feelings the latter has for him, but deciding not to do anything about it. He gets off the fact that Donghyuck did practically everything for him, and endured it when he showed no care or reciprocation towards his advances, even after realising Donghyuck liked him. 

If he gathered all the information he's been collecting and culturing over time, Mark could conclude that, _yes_ , Donghyuck is pretty, and cute, and gorgeous. Donghyuck is a brat, and annoying and a pain in the ass. Donghyuck is smart, and talented, and hard-working. Donghyuck tries too hard, wants too much, never gives up - _he's so stubborn_. Donghyuck could be everything Mark could ever want, but that's the thing - Mark wants what he doesn't need.

He can live a perfectly normal, perfectly manageable life even if Donghyuck's not there. And that thought alone is the only thing getting him through this year, and then one more year at this college; and then he's free. He'll be free from the chains of the weird feelings he's been carrying around. He won't have to see Donghyuck again - everything will go back to the way it was: a motionless schedule, where everything happens in order and only by the way Mark has planned it, because these uncontrollable, unwanted emotions are seriously starting to irritate him.

But it does make him think.

Is it love?

Is it actually _love_?

If anyone on the outside saw just how much time Mark wastes thinking about Donghyuck, they would think he was absolutely infatuated. But Mark has plenty of counter-arguments to deny such ideas instantly.

He's thought about it before. Hypothetically speaking, if he got Donghyuck back, if he managed to pull the pretty, tanned boy back into his arms, he knows he'll only use Donghyuck for one thing and one thing only. 

To get Donghyuck into bed with him.

And that made Mark realise that, maybe, the distance was better. He doesn't want to see Donghyuck in the arms of others, but at the same time, his longing to get Donghyuck back and back under him, is slowly turning into something more unsound, something more ailing and twisted.

Like a sick _addiction_.

Maybe Mark would never admit that he wants Donghyuck, but he can easily admit that he wants Donghyuck's _body_.

He's seen it before, he's felt it before, trapped it, marked it, claimed it. He's done more to Donghyuck than anyone ever will, and that has long-satisfied Mark. The idea of Donghyuck leaving his room, red marks around his neck, dried tear streaks staining his cheeks, his legs and back sore, his mobility restricted, his insides turned to mush - Mark did it all to him. Even though kissing has never been a part of their _ritual_ , Mark has always found himself wanting to smash their lips together and taste the only part of Donghyuck he hasn't managed to reach; every crevasse of the latter's mouth, the feeling of his tongue, the plushness of his lips.

So, in a way, that football captain managed to beat him in some form, and Mark could only hope there was nothing beyond that. Judging from his perceptions of Donghyuck, the younger probably wouldn't jump to that so soon, but then again, Mark couldn't be certain.

In the corner of his eye, he could see Donghyuck staring at him, before letting out a quiet sigh, packing his stuff up and preparing to leave, as if knowing Mark wouldn't respond to what he said a while ago.

Mark watched as Donghyuck moved towards the door, his intentions evidently somewhere outside of the student council room.

But Mark didn't want to see him leave just yet.

"You look cute today." he said it loud enough for Donghyuck to freeze in his tracks.

Mark could feel a small smile form at the corner of his lips when Donghyuck snapped his head towards him, eyes wide and jaw slacked.

"W-what?" Donghyuck stuttered cutely, disbelieving of the idea of Mark Lee complimenting him.

Mark simply shrugged, eyes still trained on the younger's face, wondering what kind of expression the latter would pull. He captured the way Donghyuck's cheeks flushed a darker red, and even from where he was sitting, Mark could see the pupils in Donghyuck's eyes start to shake.

A laugh managed to escape his lips when Donghyuck rushed out of the student council room wordlessly and slammed the door behind him.

Mark couldn't help the smile lingering on his lips as he thought back to the surprised look on Donghyuck's face only a few moments ago. The sight of seeing Donghyuck all flustered and confused, elicited a sense of pride in Mark's chest, a gracious sort of victory since he knew only _he_ could make Donghyuck react in such a way.

But his celebrations didn't last for long, because Mark had only fallen into a deeper realisation.

Surely, this is the reality of his feelings.

Making Donghyuck react that way, craving to see his expressions, and getting curious about the blush on his cheeks, and the plushness of his lips, and the way he tastes - surely it could only mean one thing.

That, _no_ , it wasn't love.

It wasn't an addiction.

Mark gets it now. The way he constantly looks out for the younger, wondering where the latter is or who he's with. Cautious of the latter's safety and protection. Mesmerized by the tanned boy's lips and body. Jealous by the way he was easily swooned and pleased. Annoyed whenever the pretty brunette ignored him or resisted him. Empty with the lack of touches between them. Completely and utterly unsatisfied with the fact that Lee Donghyuck isn't _his_.

It isn't anything like what he thought.

It's an _obsession_.

Donghyuck and his radiant smile, his burst of bright laughs, his careful physique and his powerful attitude. Donghyuck and his willingness, his body, his ways of seduction, his temper, his sensitivity, his elegance.

Donghyuck has everything he wants but doesn't need, but Mark can't help but be so, so _obsessed_.

"Why would he say that to me?" Donghyuck's words were muffled into the pillow he had been stuffing his face into for the past ten minutes. He had locked himself up in his room, face flushed and a constricting feeling in his chest consuming him.

"Maybe because he genuinely thought you looked cute?" Renjun answered, as if such words wasn't the cause of Donghyuck destress ever since he heard them.

"But that's just it! Mark would never say anything like that to me." Donghyuck grumbled, "He probably thinks it's funny to play with people's feelings. Ugh! He's such an asshole! First he dumps work on me, and then he stares at me for ages like a creep, and then he compliments me?! Is he ok?!"

"Honestly, I'm not bothered if Mark is ok..." Renjun sighed, "I'm more worried about whether you're ok."

Donghyuck lifts his head off the pillow and scrunches his eyebrows together, looking at Renjun in confusion.

"What does that mean?" he enquired.

Renjun looks reluctant to speak at first, as if the words he's about to say will end up offending Donghyuck. But then he realised that he's Huang Renjun, and he never shies away from telling his best friend the truth.

"You've been talking about Mark ever since you got back, Hyuck." Renjun stated, as a fact and not a mere observation, "You told me that you don't have feelings for him anymo-"

"I don't!" Donghyuck quickly cut the older off, sitting up properly just to show how determined he was with his words. "I don't like him anymore! I've told you that!"

"It's one thing to say it, but a completely other thing to actually mean it." Renjun crossed his arms, seemingly unimpressed by whatever Donghyuck was saying, "Listen, I know you don't think you and Seunghun are compatible... but don't you feel bad? He clearly likes you, and he treats you really well. He even helped you back from that party, didn't he?"

"... yeah." Donghyuck let his gaze focus onto the cushion in his arms. 

"When he confessed to you, you accepted straight away. You _told_ me that you wanted to forget about your feelings for Mark." Renjun continued, his words unfiltered and direct.

"B-but it's not me! Mark's always there! He's always cornering me and trying to- to... I don't know! He's just constantly after me and saying all these things that past me would've wanted to hear. He's doing all these things that I used to want so badly!" Donghyuck couldn't even bring himself to reveal how Mark had tried to kiss him on multiple occasions, embarrassment and frustration coursing through his veins at the thought of being on the receiving end of Mark's teasing.

"Well, that sounds like a _Mark_ problem and not a _you_ problem." Renjun stated blatantly and coldly, as if he didn't want to hear Mark's name anymore.

"I know that!" Donghyuck grumbled, "And I'm not holding onto him anymore. Mark means nothing to me. I just want him to stop acting like he still has an affect on me - because he doesn't."

"Then tell him that." Renjun advised, but it sounded more like an order, "You and Seunghun are a thing now. I think you owe him at least this much. He's got the short end of the stick here; trying to make you happy, but also unknowingly trying to get rid of the feelings you have for someone else. It... It almost feels like you're using him."

"Wow. Thanks, Jun. I really wanted to hear that." Donghyuck deadpanned. He understood why Renjun was telling him this in such a direct way, but at the same time, he didn't like being accused so blatantly and openly.

It's not his fault Seunghun happened to be there at the right place and right time. It's not his fault Seunghun was a perfect opportunity to let go of whatever toxic relationship he and Mark had. So maybe Donghyuck doesn't see Seunghun in a romantic way, or feel anything particular when they kiss, but that didn't mean it was going to stay like that. He still has plenty of time to make it work. He will make it work.

"I'm not trying to place the blame on you, Hyuck." Renjun sighed, not wanting his words to be misinterpreted. He also didn't want to get into a fight with his best friend either, "I just don't want you to force yourself to do something when it doesn't make you happy, and then not only hurting yourself, but other people as well in the process."

Donghyuck doesn't say anything, but deep down he knows, what he's doing probably isn't right.

"I didn't want to agree before, but Jaemin's right." Renjun continued, "You _do_ have a type, and it can't be helped that, out of everyone, the one you look at the most is Mark. It's really not ideal, because he doesn't deserve anything good, but if you keep leading Seunghun on and giving him the false hope that you're into him, then, really... you're no better than Mark."

Donghyuck could feel his throat clog up with something heavy, something he couldn't forcefully swallow down to allow air to flow into his lungs again. Renjun has always been real with him, brutally honest and unbiased when it came to situations like these. Usually, Donghyuck appreciated his unfiltered ways of speech, since he knew there was no other than his best friend to tell him such things. He wanted to appreciate the fact that Renjun was making him face reality.

But, this time, he really couldn't.

He's sensitive right now, and everything's hitting him twice as hard, all because of the confusion Mark Lee inflicted when he called him 'cute'. It shouldn't affect him as much as it does right now, but Donghyuck couldn't help it. It hurts. It really, really hurts to have to keep falling for the same tricks with newer twists over and over again when he could be perfectly happy with someone else. It's pathetic to get so worked up over the little things Mark says, when he hears it all the time from Seunghun. 

And with this confusion, came anger. He's just so annoyed at everything that's happening. It's unfair, it's really not fair on him. Hearing your best friend place you under the same umbrella as your mortal enemy, the one who's hurt hm countless of times, only to be told that, somehow, they're just as bad as each other? Is he that horrible? Is he playing with Seunghun's feelings that much? Is he not being as honest and as faithful as he should be? Because if he's not, then the irony of his situation is so fucking funny. He's wanted loyalty and faithfulness for so long, and now that he has it, it's _him_ who isn't being loyal and faithful. 

He doesn't even want to say that Renjun's right. He doesn't want to do that, end this conversation and then go back to their daily lives. 

Because how much is he fucking asking for?! He's not asking for the world! Or for a million dollars! 

Lee Donghyuck is only asking for _love_.

A love so pure and sincere, one that he can treasure and cherish for the rest of his life. Has he been underestimating his affections this entire time? Love shouldn't be undermined as an emotion that comes by easily. But he wants to say those words, and he wants to hear those words, yet no one is saying them to him. 

"Hyuck, don't think too-"

"I think I need a moment." Donghyuck cut Renjun's words off, unable to look at the other; a really bad he'd been enforced with from all the times he refused to look at Mark when they talked.

"Hyuck-"

"Renjun, _please_." Lee Donghyuck doesn't beg, and Renjun knows this better than anyone. He knows this so well that a sort of fear consumed him when Donghyuck asked him to leave, worried that his best friend was angry at him or upset with what he said. He knew nothing could ever break their friendship, but it didn't easy the anxiety of leaving Donghyuck by himself to let his feelings consume him.

"Are you sure?" Renjun asked once more, just for safe measures, deeply hoping Donghyuck would say no and they could just cuddle in bed and forget about boys and love and whatever for a little while.

"Yeah." Donghyuck replies shortly and quietly, unknowingly making Renjun frown.  
The slight older nodded his head, even though the other couldn't see. Slowly, he stood up from the bed, sent Donghyuck another worried look, and left the latter's room to give him space.

Donghyuck waited until he could hear his door click shut before wondering whether he was being too dramatic. He didn't want to send Renjun away, but he needed time to think about what he wanted and didn't want. 

It's not too much to ask for something like love, right?

So if it's handed to him on a silver platter, waiting for Donghyuck to respond - shouldn't he just take it without hesitation?

His phone vibrated against the bed side table, catching his attention instantly. He reached out and checked over the notification displayed on his screen.

**hot football captain:**

hey babe  
i have practise in a bit, hopefully it won't run-over because i really can't wait for out date tonight!  
see you then, hyuck

Donghyuck checked the time on his phone, seeing the numbers 17:53 flash back at him as reminder to start getting ready for the date he spent time preparing, in hopes that, by the end of tonight, he'll get the clarification he needed to ensure that his feelings were directed to the right person. He hastily shot back a reply and tossed his phone onto the bed before falling backwards till his back hit the plush mattress underneath him. 

Even when he closed his eyes, even when his hands were clamping his eyelids shut tight until he could see stars in his vision, the thought of Mark staring at him intensely never left his thoughts. The feeling of Mark's gaze on him when he wasn't looking caused a shudder to run down his spine. And the simple words uttered from Mark's lips, which ended up causing him so much heart-damage, he didn't even know what he wanted anymore.

Well, even if he didn't know what he wanted exactly, Donghyuck knew something he didn't know before.

If Mark makes him feel that way, if this is the reality of the feelings he has, if the only thing coursing through his veins is sadness and confusion whenever Mark does the bare minimum to him - then Donghyuck doesn't want any of it. 

The feelings he has for Mark Lee are _dangerous_.

Dangerous to the point where Donghyuck could see yellow hazard signs flashing in his mind, warning him away from the restricted, no-access area around Mark. He doesn't want that. He'll never get love out of something like that.

It's best to stay away.

He slips out of bed and heads towards his wardrobe, forcing a skip in his walk to lessen the burden on his shoulders. He planned tonight out to perfection, he spent ages picking out the perfect restaurant to go to, and he'll probably spend even longer picking out what to wear - because Seunghun deserves more than what Donghyuck has given him so far.

He should really start trying now.

The sound of cutlery clinking on plates was the only thing steering the atmosphere away from total silence. A glimmering, modest-looking chandelier hung from the high ceiling, illuminating the cosy yet strict ambiance of the dining room Mark had to endure dinner time with his family in. Honestly, it would've been bearable if everyone ate in silence, and then left in a similar fashion, but his mother apparently didn't want that, and Mark could feel his eye twitch at the way the tranquillity had been disturbed.

"When are you going back, Johnny?" she asked with a caring smile on her lips, directing her words to her step-son.

"Probably by the end of this week. It's getting hard to keep up with lectures remotely since I can't attend class." Johnny answered, and Mark found the small talk suddenly very annoying.

"Hmm... you should spend time with Mark, then." she suggested, "You won't see each other until summer, right? Go have fun this weekend." 

"That sounds like a good idea." Johnny nodded, before turning to face his younger brother, "What do you think, Mark? Got any plans?"

"I've got work to do, sorry. I'll be busy." Mark subtly rejected the invitation. Not that he didn't want to spend time with his brother, rather, he couldn't bring himself to go out much. Finals were approaching and he has basketball matches to train and prepare for. His family knew better than anyone that he'd rather start as early as he could instead of waiting till exams or tournaments drew closer.

"Only for a day, Mark." his mother reasoned, "You won't have any other time to do this."

"Either that... or there's something else he already has planned." Johnny looked at him with a knowing look, as if implying that he knew exactly what Mark had planned for his weekend.

"Oh really? What plans?" his mother adverted her gaze towards him, curious about what Mark could be doing this weekend.

"Knowing Mark, he's probably going on dates, right? Tell me I'm right. I know I'm right!" Johnny wiggled his eyebrows, and Mark had never wanted the ground to open up and swallow him more than this current moment.

"Shut up, hyung. That's not it." Mark grumbled, "I have student council work I need to finish. I don't have time for dumb things like dates." 

"Wow... already talking like a real businessman, Mark." his step-dad laughed, reaching over to pat Mark on the back.

"Aww Mark, you don't have to be so stubborn. If you have a date, you have a date; it's no big deal." his mother decided to join with the teasing. Mark seriously doesn't know what he did to deserve this.

"This isn't funny." he murmured, down casting his gaze towards the barely-touched plate of food in front of him, "There's lots of work needing to be done for student council, and I just want to finish it."

"Ahh... ok then." he hears his mother reply, "Speaking of student council, I've not see Donghyuck around here lately, is he dropping by any time soon?"

Mark felt his body still for a moment, the name being tossed into conversation so casually that it caused a shiver to run down his spine. He's hearing that name everywhere now, from everyone! Do people not know of the kind of affect that name has on him?

"He's probably busy with his boyfriend." he forced out his words, the syllables coming out more staggered than he would've liked, "Not like I care about what he's doing anyway..." he only managed to utter out the late part. 

Mark was too busy pushing around the food on his plate with a fork to recognise the concerned and slightly confused looks he was receiving from the three other occupants at the table with him. Unknowing to Mark, they were looking at him as if they were waiting for something more, as if they were expecting to hear something else.

Although he didn't notice the stares being sent his way, Mark could feel the tension in the room grow more awkward. Just as he looked up, everyone looked back down, as if too cautious of the next few words they could say to him. 

Mark could only hope no one thought he was actually bothered about the fact that Donghyuck hadn't come over in a long while - because he wasn't. He wasn't in any way bothered by it at all.

"I'm gonna go start on my work now." Mark excused himself from the table, hastily running up the stars before locking himself into his room.

He'd spent long enough consulting his feelings and thoughts, he didn't want to waste any more time going over the same feelings over again, the feelings he knew for a fact would never change.

"Dude, what the fuck?! I told you I was busy!" Mark wailed, huffing in annoyance when Johnny dragged him by the arm one saturday evening to somewhere he wasn't disclosed the information of.

"And I told you that I didn't care." Johnny replied blatantly. "I'm craving ice cream."

"Ice cream? In spring?!" Mark shot the older an unimpressed look.

"The seasons and when you can eat ice cream have absolutely no correlation, you can fight me on that." Johnny assured, and Mark almost couldn't believe his older brother was this childish.

They walked to a nearby ice cream parlour, ignoring the fact that it was eight in the evening and the sky looked as if it was about to rain down in a second. Mark knew he could be doing something way more productive than accompanying his brother to get ice cream, but the older just didn't see it that way, hence his current predicament.

"Sooo~" Johnny started off, wiggling his eyebrows at Mark curiously.

"What?" Mark rolled his eyes and sat down on of the high stools near the window of the parlour.

"You know~"

"No. No, I really don't." Mark knew this was going to be a massive waste of time, and his brother's odd behaviour just proved it.

"God, you're so dumb, Mark." Johnny sighed, and Mark didn't have enough time to be offended since the older's next words were enough to leave him completely dumbstruck, "Are you and Hyuck fighting? You've not even been dating for long and you're already having problems?! I can't beli-"

"Wait... WHAT?!" Mark instantly cut the older off, almost choking on his own spit from how quickly he forced himself to interject, "Firstly, don't call him _Hyuck_. And secondly, we're not dating?! Where did you hear that?"

"You're not? But Taeyong told me he helped Donghyuck make valentines day chocolates for you." Johnny knitted his eyebrows together in confusion, "Did he not give them to you?"

"He... he did." Mark sighed, deciding not to over-complicate things by explaining how Donghyuck didn't give him chocolates _directly_. But did Donghyuck seriously go as far as asking Taeyong for help? _That idiot_. "Look, we're not dating. I don't see him in that way. He's already got a boyfriend."

"Oh... you were serious about that?" Johnny recalled the younger saying it at dinner yesterday, "I thought you were just making it up because you were jealous or something."

"Jealous? Of what?" Mark enquired, wondering if he actually cared enough to get an answer.

"You know... that other boys are chasing after Hyuck, and you don't like that." Johnny shrugged casually, "Damn... do I have to explain everything to you?"

Mark could only let his jaw drop slightly at the ideas Johnny was proclaiming. He didn't think the older would be so straight-forward about it. But, then again. this was _Johnny_ we were talking about. 

"Hyung, seriously. He's got a boyfriend, and I'm not even the slightest bit interested in him." Mark assured, "Besides, we've cut off all that fuckbuddy shit anyway. It's not like we need to see each other anymore."

"But you _want_ to see him, right?" Johnny continued to press, "You're thinking about him. God Mark, I bet you always think about him."

"I don't." Mark deadpanned in all seriousness, "How the fuck is Ten hyung still with you? You're so annoying!"

"Hey, don't joke about that. Ten's the love of my life! The love of my life whom I'll be asking to move in with me in a few days!" Johnny crosses his arms and huffed (like a small child, in Mark's opinion).

"Well congrats on that, I guess." Mark swiftly tried to change subject, "I'm glad you at least found something to hold on to."

"You know, if you weren't so dead-set on finding love when you're thirty... you could also have something, or someone to hold on to." Johnny suggested, his tone indifferent and careless. "Why you refuse finding love will forever be beyond me. I really don't understand why you hate it so much."

"I don't _hate_ love. I just don't think it's necessary for me to indulge in it right now." Mark explained, not even bothering to think of reasons why they have to have in-depth talks late in the evening at an ice cream parlour.

"The endurance you have would be impressive, if I didn't think you were restraining yourself unnecessarily." Johnny admitted, "I don't know what I'd do without Ten..."

"That's just it." Mark pointed out, turning to face the older with a determined look, "Isn't that scary? Relying on the love you have with someone so much that it'll physically affect you if that love ever disappeared?"

Johnny's eyes visibly grew wider at the younger's words, since he really didn't expect Mark to have such a negative view on something that should be considered positive and joyous. He ended up mumbling something about new years eve, Donghyuck's name might have slipped up, but Mark didn't exactly catch what he said, and he couldn't ask the older about it since the taller just moved on.

"I don't think you should think of it like that. You're making it sound like I'm making a big mistake by being in love." Johnny confessed, "Besides, you can't control who you like. If you fall for someone, it's just automatic; you can't stop yourself."

Mark took a moment to think over the older's words. He had always been curious about the emotion, but never bothered to ponder over it longer than he needed to. He was adamant on every feeling he had, preferring to have control over his emotions rather than letting them run freely, without knowing what was ahead of him. 

Mark has always hated not knowing.

"Just do what makes you happy, man..." Johnny smacked Mark on the back harshly, startling the younger from the impact alone, "you may think anything other than work is a waste of time. But, really, you're only wasting your time if you don't balance everything out so you could have a bit of it all. Plus, if you find someone who you know you'll love for the rest of your life... you have to work twice as hard to make sure they don't slip away. No regrets, right? Isn't that how you want to live? "

Mark didn't bother answering, since Johnny probably already knew what he was going to say. They silently made their way out of the parlour after Johnny finally finished his ice-cream, stating that ice-cream is better at night when he's in the mood to get serious and sentimental. The prospect of the idea caused Mark to roll his eyes once again. 

It's only a mere obsession. 

He doesn't need to exhaust his energy over something that will gradually fade over time.

"Ohh... that looks nice." Mark turned around when he heard Johnny awe after noticing the older wasn't next to him anymore. The older was busy looking through a shop window, inspecting the mannequins on display. "Ten would like this..." he mumbled, before turning back to Mark, "wait here, Mark, I'll be really quick."

Mark didn't even get the chance to answer before Johnny had already disappeared into the shop. He let out a sigh and decided to walk on a little further. _Exactly_. He had been right all along. Being in love completely distracts a person's mind until they're unable to think about anything or anyone else but the person they're in love with. That isn't compassion, or affection, or loyalty - it's just greed.

He knew for a fact that he didn't want any of it.

Kicking a few pebbles at every step he took, Mark wondered around aimlessly, stepping over every crack on the stone pavement he walked on, letting the lamp-lit street guide him somewhere further. At the back of his mind, he wondered if he went too far and should start walking back to the shop he left Johnny at, but the thought didn't pass by in his mind frequently enough for him to abide to it and turn around. So he continued walking past brightly-lit shops, bars and clubs, seeing a few familiar faces he usually saw whenever he went down this route; just the same people going into bars to get drunk. 

It's a little _monotonous_ \- tedious and repetitive, but Mark couldn't bring himself to change anything about his simple lifestyle.

Knowing he was only walking around with no real destination in mind, Mark stopped in his tracks to check his phone, realising that nine o'clock was way too late for him to still be up after not having done anything remotely productive. He waited until he reached a lamp post, beginning to turn on his heel and start going back. He could feel something wet patter against his skin, causing him to look up and catch the highlights of droplets that fell underneath the light emitted from the lamp-post.

_It's raining._

Internally, Mark was glad he brought an umbrella with him; having checked the forecast beforehand when Johnny decided to drag him outside against his will for absolutely no reason at all.

When he looked back down, his eyes landed on a lone figure waiting outside of a fancily-lit restaurant, the expensive, tropical kind with an excessive amount of tall plants decorating the entrance way. With no particular curiosity, Mark glanced over the person's fluffy, cream turtleneck, paired with a dark brown, long coat. Their entire outfit looked way too over-sized, but it somehow suited them. Especially with the way their caramel, brunette curls fell over their forehead. Mark couldn't see their face since it had been buried in the turtleneck they wore, but he felt bad that they were just standing outside, the fabric of their clothes turning dark as they dampened from the rain.

Cautiously, he stepped closer, ready to lend his umbrella to someone who looked as if they'd been waiting in that same spot for a while now.

The boy in the fluffy turtleneck must've noticed his presence, as well as the lack of raindrops falling down, since he brought his face out of the warm comforts of his clothes and looked directly at Mark.

Mark could feel the grip on his umbrella loosen, the muscles in his arm suddenly numbing to the point that he only had his fingers to rely on in hopes of not letting the umbrella fall, allow the rain, that was now gushing on the surface of the earth, to completely drown them.

_How_ does this keep happening?

Did he jinx it because he was thinking about _him_ only a while ago? Or had been thinking about him for some time now?

Whatever sign from the universe this is, Mark thinks it must be karma at this point. He must've done something incredibly unlawful to deserve this. Because he can't help but drown in the pair of hazel brown orbs that are staring back at him in shock. He can't help but glance down at their puffy, heart-shaped looks that still looked vibrant and pink, despite the cold that should be biting at them.

"Donghyuck?"

He gets a gloated silence in return, and Mark doesn't know how much longer they can continue staring at each other like this for.

_Yup. Definitely karma._

If nothing else could go wrong tonight, Donghyuck thought that running into Mark Lee really put the cherry on top. Mark, who's looking at him with a perplexed sort of expression on his face, his hand barely gripping onto the umbrella that seemed to be sheltering Donghyuck more than himself.

"Donghyuck?" Mark called out to him, and Donghyuck could feel a shudder rush through his body at the sound of his name leaving Mark's lips, which looked slightly blue from the cold.

"What are you doing here?" Donghyuck tried to shake off the thoughts in his head, the ones that related to the warm feeling in his chest as Mark held an umbrella over him. "Actually, don't answer that. You're probably here to make fun of me."

"Make fun of you?" Mark repeated, still looking slightly dazed, "Why would I?"

"Why wouldn't you?" Donghyuck let out a humourless laugh because, really, since when has Mark _not_ taken the opportunity to make Donghyuck's life miserable? "Somehow, you found out that I got stood up, so now you're here to mock me."

Mark still looked confused, as if he needed a few moments to process what Donghyuck was saying. When he thought back to only a few nights ago, he vaguely recalled the time they ended up spending together in the gym hall when Mark decided to practise alone, before Donghyuck unexpectedly joined him. He remembered the younger saying something about making a reservation... was he talking about this? A reservation at a restaurant? For a date with his boyfriend?

His boyfriend... who apparently stood him up?

Mark thought that he seriously must've lost his mind, because there's no other reasonable explanation as to why he's so... _happy_ right now.

_'This is great!'_ he couldn't help but think, _'I knew that football captain didn't deserve Donghyuck!'_

"This sucks..." Donghyuck sighed, catching Mark's attention once again, "I can't believe this is happening to me. Am I really that naïve?"

_'Ok... maybe this isn't so great...'_ Mark wanted to be pleased with the fact that his assumptions were proven correct. But the saddened look on Donghyuck's face made his chest constrict tightly, as if someone just grabbed his heart and started squeezing mercilessly. He never really did like seeing Donghyuck sad.

"Do you want me to answer that or-" Mark started, only to be cut off by Donghyuck's scrutinizing glare.

"No." the younger grumbled, "I know you're already making fun of me in your head. 'Student council vice president, in a perfectly healthy relationship, only to be stood up on a date he spent so long planning!' Wow... you must _love_ this."

"Debatable..." Mark mumbled, figuring Donghyuck didn't hear him since the latter hadn't looked his way yet. Instead, he turned his attention to the restaurant Donghyuck had been standing in front of, "did you make a reservation here?"

Donghyuck looked up at Mark, before turning his head slightly to toss a glance behind him at the restaurant he had been waiting for almost an hour at. 

"Yeah... it was really fucking hard to book because their waiting list is so long..." Donghyuck huffed, almost jealous of the amount of happy couples going in, arms linked and smiles on their faces, as if there was nothing wrong in the world. "I'm not even mad! I'm just- I'm just..."

"Tired?" Mark skimmed his eyes over the glitter on the heights of Donghyuck's cheekbones, and the shimmer on the latter's eye-lids, and the rosy-red glossiness on the tanned boy's lips.

Maybe he was feeling extra sentimental this particular night, because he couldn't stop his mind from wondering off to the night at the Winter Gala, and the way Donghyuck dazzled brighter than the stars in the sky. Like now, Donghyuck is shining. Who in their right mind would want to miss out on _this_?

"Yeah, actually..." Donghyuck sounded as if he didn't expect himself to agree with Mark, but found himself doing so anyway, "I think I'm just tired." he must've been _very_ tired, because he doesn't understand why he's telling Mark all of this. He's always hated feeling vulnerable to the point that others would need to make him feel better, he always hated having to rely on others to make him happy - and he realised all of this from the time he spent with Mark. So, surely, he should know better than to appear pathetic in front of someone like Mark Lee, who's probably only spiting him in silence, who's probably pitying him in his head, who's probably only here to collect blackmail to use against him later on.

"How long are reservations valid for?" Mark asked suddenly, catching Donghyuck off-guard. Unknowing to the younger, he sneaked out his phone behind his back and quickly texted Johnny, telling the older that he had 'something he needed to do', making a mental note to make it up to his older brother later.

"Uhh... I don't know? Probably not for very lon- WOAH!" Donghyuck's words were cut off when a hand gripped his wrist and started pulling him off, "W-wait! Mark! What are you doing?!"

Mark didn't say anything. He continued to drag Donghyuck to the double doors leading in to the restaurant, but at the same time, he was cautious enough to ensure the umbrella he was holding was covering Donghyuck the entire time. He walked up to the waiter standing at a podium-thing near the door, with a clipboard and pen in hand.

"Hi, table for two?" Mark started off, before feeling a jerk on his hand.

"Mark?! What are you doing?" Donghyuck asked again through gritted teeth, trying to make his words as subtle and discreet as possible.

"Stay quiet." Mark whispered back, before turning towards the waiter again, "How long will it take?"

"Have you made a reservation?" the waiter asked.

"Yes, we have. Under the name _Lee Donghyuck_." Mark swiftly answered, side-glancing at Donghyuck once, trying to stifle a laugh at the sight of the younger looking visibly confused at what was going on.

"Ah yes, we have table for you." the waiter announced after a few moments of checking through his list, "This way."

Donghyuck glared daggers at the back of Mark's head as the older continued to lead him off, his grip still tight on his wrist, to the point where Donghyuck couldn't shake him off even if he tried.

They were seated at a prettily-set table by the window, onlooking a serene view of the town's nightscape, where flickering lights buzzed on and off every now and then, an array of colours gleaming against the reflection of water on the ground, caused by the excessive rainfall which seemed to have ceased.

Donghyuck watched Mark intently, screwing his eyes at the way the older casually picked up the menu and started reading it. This didn't make any sense! Why was Mark doing this? Where are the snarky insults? The mean comments? Why wasn't Mark making fun of him? Why wasn't he humiliating him? Embarrassing him, like he usually does? Like he _did_ only a few nights back. Like he _did_ in the student council room this morning. Like he's been doing this entire time they've known each other.

"Damn, how come I've never heard of this place before?" Mark muttered, presumably to himself, "These all sound good..."

"Cut the crap, Mark... stop acting like you're actually enjoying yourself."   
Donghyuck grabbed the menu out of the older's hands, folded it and placed it on the table. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" Mark had the audacity to act clueless.

"It can't be a coincidence that we ran into each other here!" Donghyuck accused, "Why did you even bother with the umbrella? Why are you having dinner with me? Why are you-"

"God, you ask too many questions." Mark rolled his eyes, uncaring towards the way Donghyuck looked so red, on the brink of explosion, "Is it so unbelievable to say that I felt bad that your jerky boyfriend stood you up, and I didn't want you to waste the reservation you worked hard to get?"

Donghyuck blinked a few times in shock, unable to comprehend whatever the older was saying because, _yes_ , yes it's really fucking unbelievable that he's doing all of this. Now, it was his turn to be surprised, to the point where he was rendered speechless.

"Also, it _is_ a coincidence that I ran into you here. I was out with Johnny since it's his last day in town before he travels back, and I ended up wondering off and finding a lonely-looking hobo standing in the rain."

"H-h-... HOBO?!" Donghyuck scoffed, almost choking on literally nothing because of how infuriating Mark was.

"Keep your voice down. Unless you want to get kicked out before I actually get to try any of this..." Mark shook his head, picking the menu back up and resuming his search for what to eat. "You should be grateful your boyfriend didn't come instead, he would probably want to end things as soon as he saw you dressed head-to-toe in snowman merchandise." 

" _Snowman merchandise?!?!_ " Donghyuck guffawed, bordering losing his shit any moment now. "It's fucking two degrees outside, and I'd prefer not to catch hypothermia! There are better ways to die than due to exposure to cold environments, Mark Lee! But, of course, you wouldn't know that since everything is a joke to you! My suffering is your entertai-" to Donghyuck's utter surprise, Mark let out a laugh, a bright one, full and genuine, to the point where Donghyuck could see tears forming at the corner of the older's eyes. Donghyuck lost his train of thought, his words drying on the tip of his tongue and his previous intention to lecture the fuck out of Mark... seemed to disappear. "W-what? What is it? What's so funny?"

Mark only shook his head, trying to control his laughter, which was surprisingly hard for him. When Mark's laughs, he's like a completely different person. Donghyuck almost wondered if he was sitting in front of Mark at all, if the person he was with right now, was even the cold-hearted student council president who broke his heart and left him to pick up the pieces. For Donghyuck, it was just a daily reminder that Mark is also a human being, even though he lacks the amount of empathy and sensitivity normal people were expected to have.

When Mark finally calms down, he gestures over to the menu in front of Donghyuck.

"Just order something and stop talking." he shakes his head once more, a smile still lingering on his lips.

Donghyuck frowned, but decided to follow anyway, since it would be too troublesome if he just made a scene and left. He settled on being a considerate human being and waving a waiter over, hoping that nice, warm food would rid him of the unwanted feelings in his stomach.

Conversation was non-existent between them, and Donghyuck didn't know whether to be thankful for that or not. What would they even talk about if they _did_ decide to converse? That he felt even worse about his feelings now that he got stood up on a date? That he's supposed to be here with his boyfriend instead of his ex-fuckbuddy ( _is that even a thing?_ ) Should he try to be cold to Mark? Give him mixed signals? Make him confused as well?

"So... what do you think made that football captain boyfriend of yours decide to stand you up?" 

Ok, not the kind of conversation-starter Donghyuck was expecting.

"I'm sure he was busy with something..." Donghyuck didn't know why he was even bothering with the excuses, since he was still evidently upset by the whole ordeal.

"So busy that he didn't tell you beforehand that he couldn't make it?" Mark raised a brow, carefully cutting through the meat on his plate while doing so.

"He must have his reasons..." Donghyuck picked through the vegetables on his plate, blatantly trying to swerve around the topic.

"Whatever his reasons are... they probably won't be good enough." there was a tone in Mark's voice that Donghyuck couldn't put a word to. The way Mark's brows furrowed deeper, and his lips pursed, and the grip on his fork tighter until his knuckles turned white. 

Was Mark _angry_?

"It's not your place to decide for other people, Mark hyung..." Donghyuck sighed, missing the way Mark jerked his neck to look at him since he focused his attention back onto his food.

For Mark, he hadn't heard the younger address him as 'hyung' in a while. It almost sounded foreign from the amount of time they spent disassociating with each other, and then associating in all the wrong ways. He almost... _missed_ hearing it.

They eat in silence for the remaining time, only exchanging a few comments relating to how good the food was, or how they should recommend this place to their friends. Even though it was expensive as fuck, it was a nice enough place to hold celebratory gatherings.

Mark made a gesture, signalling the waiter to bring them their bill. Donghyuck noticed the action and proceeded to get his wallet out, forcing himself to be annoyed at how he should've been paying for him and his boyfriend, not him and his asshole enemy. He grumbled profanities under his breath, refusing to accept the fact that the peace and tranquillity between them tonight was almost... _enjoyable_. 

It _wasn't_. Mark's still the same idiot who completely ruined his self-esteem, and Donghyuck will never forget that.

When the waiter came back with a small, black tray, Donghyuck reached over to put his card on the receipt. Only, he couldn't do that since Mark had swiftly put his own card down and set the waiter off. 

"What are you doing now?" Donghyuck looked at Mark with a displeased expression, his own card still loose between his fingers, "I made the reservation... I should pay. Call the waiter back."

"No, it's fine. I'm paying." Mark shrugged carelessly.

"You don't have to pity me, hyung." Donghyuck scowled, "I got stood up for _one_ date... it's not a big deal."

"It's not about the date." Mark leaned forward, looking at Donghyuck directly, "I made a deal with you a while ago. You probably don't remember but, you agreed to go to the Winter Gala with me if I bought you dinner. I don't think I ever got round to doing that... so I'm doing it now."

Donghyuck gazed at Mark with wide eyes, not expecting to hear such an answer at all. He could feel heat crawl up his neck, and the fur of his sweater suddenly grow extremely itchy. Actually, he didn't expect _Mark_ to remember that. Thinking the older just forgot the deal they made because, apparently, he didn't need to give people anything in return if they do something for him.

But, that wasn't the case.

"When I said ' _dinner_ ', I meant some cheap, fast food place..." Donghyuck complained, "this restaurant is expensive. I'll pay you back-"

"No need. I'm just keeping to my promise and now just happens to be a convenient time to fulfil it." Mark assured, thanking the waiter when they came back with his card, "We should go now."

Donghyuck stood up silently and followed after Mark, not even noticing how the distance between their bodies suddenly decreased, to the point where they were almost pressed up against each other. 

"Did you enjoy the food?" Mark asked, looking at Donghyuck intently.

The younger only nodded, down casting his gaze to the ground, worried that the blush on his cheeks might to be too visible and the accord between them would suddenly become more awkward.

"Good." Mark tried to hide a pleased smile by looking elsewhere, only for his eyes to land onto something particular, "Hey, have you ever wondered what it would be like to see one of your teachers outside of school?"

"What? No... why would I think about that?" Donghyuck looked up to face Mark, confusion etched all over his face.

"I don't know... maybe because you've never had the pleasure of witnessing your principal trying to flirt with someone?"

Mark's words caused Donghyuck to jerk his neck over to where the older was looking, surveying his eyes around the restaurant's entrance to try and find the person Mark unexpectedly started talking about. To his absolute horror, Donghyuck could see none other than Principal Choi, the head figure of a finely established college, well-known around Seoul, blatantly (and terribly) trying to flirt with a woman who seemed way too young for him.

"That's a sight you don't see every day." Mark mumbled, catching Donghyuck's attention.

The tanned boy turned to look at Mark, just as the older turned to look at him. A moment of silence passed between them before they both burst out laughing, knowing that they really shouldn't be watching their principal while he was on a date-of-a-sort.

"I thought he was already married?" Donghyuck giggled when Mark pulled him to hide behind a large topiary. "I swear I saw him with his wife and son at school once."

"Yeah, me too." Mark chuckled, trying hard to remove the image out of his mind.

"Wait! He's looking this way!" Donghyuck stated when he glanced over the trimmed grass hedge once, "Move, hyung!" Donghyuck placed his hands on Mark's back and pushed the older forward until they both started running away from the entrance area, waiting until they reached a far enough distance before slowing down.

"I don't know how to feel now." Mark started off, still looking a little dazed, "We just saw our principal-"

"Shh... no." Donghyuck hushed him, "We will never speak of this again."

The response caused Mark to let out another laugh, and Donghyuck couldn't help but melt inside at the sound. Mark's laughs are cute - such a big contrast to the rest of him.

They started walking in step with each other, and Donghyuck didn't know why he was growing shy all of a sudden, but he couldn't help it. Mark was right next to him, hands casually clasped behind his head, as if this entire night hadn't been extremely strange. It _should_ be extremely strange, for _both_ of them.

It's definitely strange for Donghyuck. It's weird because he's having too much fun with someone who he should hate, and none of this would have happened if Seunghun was here with him right now. But, a part of Donghyuck was glad Seunghun didn't come. For whatever reason he had, Seunghun didn't come for their date and Donghyuck couldn't bring himself to be sad about it. Disappointed? Maybe. But upset? How could he be upset when he's having this much fun with Mark? Mark, who still hasn't said anything about what was supposed to happen tonight, or made fun of him, or mocked him, or teased him, or made him feel insignificant.

Instead, he had dinner with Mark, talked with Mark, laughed with him and generally had a good time.

Did that mean they were on good terms now? Was he supposed to forget everything that happened from a few nights back? Even though such an event had left a bruise on his heart. Even though Mark's words were harsh and cruel and degrading.

Donghyuck had been too deep in thought to notice they were nearing campus grounds, only just realising that Mark had walked him back without saying that he would. For some reason, that could only add to the list of weird, unexplainable feelings he had experienced throughout the course of the night. Donghyuck ascended up a few flight of stairs until he reached the door to his dorm, internally grateful Mark didn't mind walking up with him. Donghyuck wanted to savour every moment of this night, hating the fact that it was getting late and the day would end in only a couple of hours. He long-established that the only reason why he was holding onto the time he had spent with Mark, was because he witnessed a side of Mark he hadn't see before... well, not personally at least.

Hesitantly, Donghyuck turned around when he got to his door, facing Mark once more, only to see the older staring at him curiously. The sudden amount of undivided attention made his body heat up to a scarily high temperature, as if his insides were melting just as he tried to formulate a sentence in his head.

"Thanks..." Donghyuck mumbled, unknowingly catching the older off-guard.

"H-huh?" Mark ended up stumbling, slightly disorientated since he hadn't stopped stealing glances at Donghyuck the entire way back; not that it was his fault that the younger looked especially dazzling tonight.

"Y-you know... for uhhh... for the dinner..." Donghyuck couldn't meet Mark's gaze, and his ears were growing red at the tips, "and for walking me back..." he couldn't identify the sole reason why he was so shy all of a sudden, embarrassed that he genuinely had a good time with Mark.

"Oh, yeah... no, no that's cool." Mark ended up rubbing the back of his neck, the awkwardness of their situation suddenly making him flustered. Either that, or shy Donghyuck is just too, _too_ cute. "It's fine..."

"Even though we don't really get along..." Donghyuck looked up at him properly, and Mark could see the determination in his eyes, "... I had fun tonight."

Mark had to forcefully swallow the lump in throat, the sound of a gulp vibrating in his chest for a microsecond, causing him to lose his previous train of thought. Well, whatever form of thoughts he could actually make up in that current moment. Who could blame him for not being able to think properly when Donghyuck was right in front of him, cheeks tinted pink and his lower-lip red from how much he had been biting on it for.

_Donghyuck looks so pretty_ \- he couldn't help but think - _'am I allowed to say that?'_ And, as much as he didn't want to admit it, he too enjoyed tonight, completely and utterly satisfied with how his evening turned out and quietly thankful that it didn't go as Donghyuck had initially planned for it to go.

"M-Mark?" Donghyuck's voice went barely above a whisper, and Mark only realises just how close they are when he could feel the breath of Donghyuck's words against his skin.

On Mark's behalf, he doesn't really know what he's doing, but at the same time, he really does. He's tried this before, he's thought about this so many times before that he'd lost count.

"Sorry... what were you saying?" Mark muttered, his voice not any louder or any quieter, fully intended to match the younger's pitch.

"There's something in your..." all of a sudden, Mark could feel his heartbeat stop. The hollowness in his chest suddenly fills up with so much concentrated warmth that it buzzes throughout his entire body. Mark could _feel_ it throughout his entire body.

"...hair." Donghyuck's hand comes up in the narrow space between their faces, showing Mark the small piece of fluff that resembled the wool his own jumper was made out of. "S-sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." Mark thinks he must be out of his mind right about now, because he can't logically explain why he's taken Donghyuck's hand into his, the small piece of woolly-fluff already blowing away from between the younger's fingers. 

Donghyuck is looking at him with those big, hazel brown eyes of his, and Mark has lost count of the amount of times he'd found himself getting lost in them. They're sparkling, they shine even under dim lights, they're so clear, you could see your reflection in them. Mark knows this, he's started into Donghyuck's eyes many times before. He's experienced the affects those sparkly orbs have on him multiple times, even when he doesn't recognise it. In his opinion, Donghyuck is just so intriguing. He's always so fascinated by Donghyuck's reactions, his facial expressions, the way he talks, the way he looks around, the way he smiles, laughs, frowns, pouts - the list could really go on.

"T-too close..."

Another thing that sends Mark over the edge is the way Donghyuck can cut through his thoughts and disrupt his mental thought processes all at once. He could say only a few words, he could even whisper them in subtleness, and Mark would still catch them and stop whatever he's doing, whatever he's thinking just to pay attention to Donghyuck's voice and the words that fall from those pretty, heart-shaped lips of his.

"Is it?" Mark wants to lean closer, but he doesn't want to make Donghyuck uncomfortable. He has to weigh out his options before doing anything else, and the thought of letting tonight finish like this flashes at the forefront of his mind. He shouldn't attempt anything else, he doesn't want to ruin the steadiness they had formed.

"It's getting late..." Mark lets go of the younger's hand and takes a step back, "you should go rest."

"Y-yeah... ok..." Donghyuck nodded slowly, his left hand gripping onto the other with a sudden nervousness, the hand that Mark had previously been holding. "thanks again for tonight..."

Mark was worried his voice would betray him in any way, so he opted on simply nodding in acknowledgement, plentily happy that he was getting recognised in such a way by Donghyuck. 

"Goodnight, Mark hyung."

Mark watched carefully when Donghyuck's eyes were the last feature of the younger that disappeared behind the door. All he could do was stare at the wooden frame and sigh, wondering if Donghyuck was just as confused about tonight as he was.

He doesn't want to get used to the feeling, but it feels more like its being drilled into him and he can't do anything to stop it. He can't _help_ it. He really can't help softening at the way Donghyuck said 'goodnight' to him. Only a couple of words, but they held so much significance, Mark thinks he's going crazy.

_Still._

He had fun. Tonight was _fun_ and he'll probably go to bed thinking about the events of this evening, letting them replay in his mind like a melodrama until he falls asleep.

All the way back, Mark couldn't stop chanting to himself quietly, wondering if he looked like a madman who'd lost his mind.

It isn't. It could never be.

_"It's not love, it's not love, it's not love!"_

Donghyuck waited a few minutes to catch his breath, still clueless to how he managed to lose so much of it in the first place. He leaned his forehead against the door and let out a sigh, knowing that the only thing he got out of tonight was more confusing thoughts.

Should he be angry at Seunghun for forgetting about their date? When he checked his phone, Donghyuck could see a bunch or missed calls and unread text messages from Seunghun himself, all professing how sorry he was for forgetting. It was an honest mistake, and Seunghun felt bad about it... but Donghyuck didn't know how to feel now after he spent the evening with Mark instead.

Mark was another problem.

He wants to be pissed at the older. For being mean to him a few nights back in the gym hall, when Mark humiliated him and played with his heart, before leaving silently without any consolidation. And then tonight, Mark was actually nice to him? It didn't make any sense!

None of this makes any fucking sense!!

Donghyuck could feel his heart bashing against his rib cage, as if threatening to burst out of his chest. His breathing ragged and staggered, like the air around him wasn't enough for him to live on. He rarely had such fits like these, but when they did occur, they happened hard and fast, until Donghyuck could feel tears brim at the corner of his eyes, letting his vision go blurry. It wasn't fair that he had to suffer these attacks when all he wanted to know is how Mark felt about him, and why Mark is sending him mixed signals, and making him feel like shit at one point, but then extremely happy at another. It wasn't fair at all!

And the worst part about it was that he didn't have the same reassurance that he previously had when he thought he could just forget about his feelings if he moved onto someone else. Because that isn't working. Donghyuck already established that is just doesn't _work_!

It's gotten to the point where he doesn't know how he'll react if sees Seunghun. If he sees Renjun or Jaemin.

If he sees _Mark_.

His cheeks are still warm, his heart is still thumping against his chest erratically, matching the beat to that of a basketball against polished floors.

The descent of his affections had been ruthless so far, and Donghyuck doesn't know how he'll rise up from it.

And it feels like he's just made a massive mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FGHDEUWIKSJHJASOI I'M SORRY!  
> THIS IS THE LAST TIME THIS WILL HAPPEN I CAN PROMISE YOU GUYS!!
> 
> also... i'm sorry i took so long to update :( i've been a little stressed and then my country going into another lockdown is just so sad and i have to go back to online school whICH SUCKS but welp-
> 
> anyway, i was able to write this chapter and two more chapters and they're ALL SO LONG!?!? i really don't know why (or HOW?!) they're so long (11k+ words each) but i think its because this is kind of the climax arc of the story ;-; so a lot is happening.  
> i'm sorry you guys had to go through this again with this chapter, but this is REALLY important for the next chapter!  
> and, because its so important, i'm thinking of posting chap 35 (omg 35??!!) this weekend instead of next week? i want you guys to understand why i'm doing this :(
> 
> mark is going to get into shit for this don't worry.... but there might be a shocking revelation that no one has mentioned in the comments yet... so beware :')
> 
> anyway! again, i'm sorry for the late update... i was so busy writing new, really freaking long chapters that i forgot that i actually needed to post them hahahaha... ha. and yea... school also is annoying sooo ;-;  
> i'll try harder next time... hopefully i can post a chapter this weekend as well (but its a long one... just warning you in advance)
> 
> oK! NEO CITYYY~  
> i'm glad i posted today bc un-cut of resonance mv shooting behind was released today and omG INTERACTIONS ;-; i love interactions... we got luren crumbs and i think i almost CRIED-  
> and it's been snowing a lot in sk... so we got really cute videos and pics of them enjoying the snow and my heart just MELTS (no matter how cold it is) - they're all so cute :(  
> we also got from home recording (vocal flex) and work it dance practise behind (dance flex) and 90s love inkigayo backstage (mc jaehyun flex) and UGH... my nctzen heart ;-;
> 
> also jaehyun's drama ;-; i'm gonna start watching it soon... but i hate watching more than one drama at a time and i wanna finish true beauty soooo ;-; give me a second jaehyunnnn  
> as always... there's probably A LOT more that i don't mention, but those are just a few at the top of my head :)
> 
> fun fact: i watch nct videos when they upload when i'm supposed to be listening to my teachers... BUT Y'ALL KNOW I HATE BIO SOOOO... no
> 
> anyway... it's really cold here, i hope everyone's doing well and keeping warm and safe :) exams have been cancelled this year as well in our country and i feel really miserable about that, but there's nothing we can do but keep going :) i wish everyone well and i hope everyone had an amazing christmas (if you celebrate it) and a happy new year!! one week into 2021 and it doesn't sound so great... but i'm certain things will get better!! (just like, hopefully, in this fic as well :) )
> 
> (the mystery of what happened at new years eve still stands in this fic ohoohohoho)
> 
> stay safe everyone!! and thank you guys so so much for the endless support you've all been giving me and this fic! i've prioritised this fic so much that i'm putting posting my oneshots on hold until i finish this bc you guys are so so nice and encouraging :'D i hope you guys will see it till the end, even though its very VERY frustrating and sad (mark will get smacked its fine :))
> 
> again - thank you for the support! i suck at replying to comments bc there are just so many... but i'll try to go back and reply to as many as i can! even tho some are from WEEKS ago ;-; sorry about that... time is hard to find :(
> 
> thank you all for reading!! stay safe! :)
> 
> see you next update!!
> 
> ~Risa :)


	37. thirty five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i-... ummm 😳😳
> 
> i have no words to prepare you for this chapter - i'm just gonna throw you guys into the deep end ahahahhaa... ha
> 
> see you on the other side :'D
> 
> hope you like this chapter :)  
> sorry for any grammatical errors

There was not much on Kim Seunghun's mind when he enrolled at Seoul International College. One of, if not the most prestigious college across all of Seoul, maybe even over the entirety of South Korea.

It was never his first option, and there were plenty of other colleges he could've enrolled at, preferably ones with not-so-demanding entry requirements, since he had never been one to stand out when it came to academics and achivements of such sorts. But, by some miracle, or maybe a certain sort of persuasion technique his parents used, or even his parents' reputation as a whole, he was accepted with a sports scholarship and welcomed to the school as soon as the new year started.

There was physically no way he could've taken up a course requiring sciences or maths, but the sports program looked promising as a whole, which intrigued him enough to actually wake up and go to school every day just to be a part of a team that had a name somewhere in the outer-world. He'd heard about the Seoul International's football team and decided then and there that he would make use of his scholarship and train hard. It took one week into the new academic year for him to realise that the college's football team wasn't up to the standard he was expecting, and that all the news he had heard about the team before enrolling here was all from a few years back. Those players are long gone now, and a new team had been formed to take their place. It did, however, fuel his ego when he was voted as football team captain, and a part of him genuinely believed that he could form a new and improved team to re-gain their reputation, as well as promote the school's football team for the future years.

Despite all of that, after much consideration, he opted on taking a few core subjects and aiming for a sort of qualification by the end of his time here in this college; just as a precaution if his football dreams didn't work out and he needed a stable job to get him by when his parents eventually stop providing for him. It was a reality almost everyone shared within the walls of Seoul International, no matter how prestigious it was, or whatever the kind of facilities they provided - everyone had the same opinion; they just needed to get by.

With that in mind, he assumed his college life would be just like everyone else's, which led him to the conclusion that he wasn't in any way lacking when it came to the other aspects of college life. Which was why he was grateful that his looks and athletic abilities made him attractive enough to keep up a sort of reputation in the _love_ department. 

Throughout the first half of his first year, he had gone through a series of flings and hook-ups and one night stands, having long-established that he was interested in both genders, but never found the need to put a label on himself. He dated a few people, had a mixture of girlfriends and boyfriends, but later realised that long-term relationships didn't work out very well for him and he always ended up breaking up with his lovers after a few weeks.

None of his break-ups had been bad, all of which had ended on mutual terms of agreement and still managed to maintain a friendly basis even after the ending of their relationship. It probably used to worry him before, but after trying things out with an amount of people, he realised that many of his past lovers and flings had never once mentioned his academic rank, nor did they seem to be bothered by it. As if they were all in the same cycle of monotonous routines where they wake up, go to school, do stuff, go back home, sleep and then repeat. Either that, or they just didn't care enough and needed someone to satisfy them, which Seunghun could never blame another for, since he was practically the same.

Don't get him wrong though, he was just below average and, with a little extra effort, he could scrape a few C's when he needed to. It wasn't the best goal to set yourself at, but he was fine with it. It didn't bother him in the slightest, and it didn't seem to bother anyone else, so he never found the need to improve such a lifestyle in the first place.

Which was why he truly thought that pining after someone like _Lee Donghyuck_ , wouldn't be any different.

Lee Donghyuck, student council vice president, profound leader of the theatre club, a business prodigy, one of the smartest people in the entire school _and_ complete and utter _eye-candy_.

Like majority of the school population, Seunghun didn't really have standards when it came to judging other people, but he could confidentially say that Lee Donghyuck raises the bar of humanity to another level.

Seunghun had never been interested in the democracy their college had, or whatever hierarchy that seemed to form over the entire student body, but as soon as Lee Donghyuck made a speech when he was elected as student council vice president, he swore he had never met a person quite like _him_.

One look alone and Seunghun was a whipped man. He noticed the stunning, tanned skin boy the very day the student council committee was formed. Even when he was certain that he never had any interest towards those things and whenever the student council would try and get students to engage in activities and events, Seunghun never paid it much attention. But after catching a mere glimpse of Donghyuck, his entire world shifted.

It sounds more dramatic than he would have preferred, but Seunghun couldn't find any other way to describe it. Lee Donghyuck was simply an immaculate human being and there's no other way to put it. He was intelligent, social, inclusive, friendly, out-going and really fucking pretty. But, really, anyone with eyes could see that. And anyone with sense would know that Donghyuck must be on top of whatever social pyramid this school had.

It was also then when Seunghun decided to finally pay more attention to the supposed hierarchy in the school and, luckily, he didn't need to ask around to be able to see it. 

It was quite blatantly _there_ , right in front of him.

While he was sitting at a table with his football team and other fellow classmates, Seunghun could see exactly where the divisions within the school lie. The cafeteria looked as if it was split between only two tables, and those two tables looked as if they had nothing to do with the hierarchy itself.

Because, on one side, was student council vice president, Lee Donghyuck.

And on the other side, was student council president, Mark Lee.

Seunghun could see it from the configuration of the cafeteria's setup alone that Mark Lee and Lee Donghyuck were _elites_.

He had been so focused on Donghyuck that he almost forgot to credit the very person who holds probably the most authority amongst the student body.

At first glance, Mark Lee looked like someone you didn't want to cross or mess with in general. Even before he enrolled, Seunghun heard of the president's long list of titles and achivements, holding onto the first rank position like it was his lifeline, as if it was evident he was part of the school's legacy and would be known as someone great in the future. In addition to his academic honours, Mark was captain of the basketball team and, unlike the football team's fallen reputation, the basketball team had never once slipped from their high pedestal, which had remained ever since the team was first established, and that alone was an aspect where Mark succeeded in when he himself couldn't with his own team.

Which led him to his next revelation; there was simply no point comparing yourself to people like Mark Lee or Lee Donghyuck - you should just be grateful you get to know them at all.

Where Mark and Donghyuck were elite socialites within the school, with their selective group of equally-gifted friends who also excel in various aspects of life that didn't only include college and academics. In fact, Lee Jeno was probably the best player on the football team, to the point where Seunghun should feel threatened by the idea of his position as captain being overthrown. Like Donghyuck, Jeno was also nice and friendly and had girls and guys chasing after him left and right. The fact that he was dating Na Jaemin, a very popular photography student, just added to the wellness of his character.

The only remaining figure in Donghyuck's exclusive circle was Huang Renjun, an art major who seemed approachable and calm on the outside, but after observing the group for a while, Seunghun realised that Renjun could be just as boisterous and energetic as Donghyuck when needed to be.

Renjun was also dating Lucas Wong, probably one of the most popular figures in the entire school, known for his God-sculpted face and physique, his undeniably attractive personality and his unmissable skill when it came to basketball. The two made an unusual couple, but no one could really judge once they saw just how perfect they were for each other. 

And that's where Seunghun's longs-standing initial confusion bloomed. Lucas was from the other side of the cafeteria. More precisely, he was the student council president's best friend. Surely, if Renjun and Lucas were dating, that should mean the two distinctive groups merged and became one large group of incredibly elite individuals. Right?

_Wrong._

Seunghun realised that Renjun and Lucas becoming a couple wouldn't bring the two groups together. The root of the problem was between the two figures at the top of the pyramid that Seunghun had spent time trying to work out.

Mark and Donghyuck _hate_ each other.

Being in the same year as Donghyuck, Seunghun didn't understand why they disliked each other so much when they didn't have any interaction outside of student council related activities. Either that, or the idea of someone being physically _capable_ of disliking Lee Donghyuck just never seemed to cross his mind. But, then again, he was evidently biased towards Donghyuck since he realised he developed a sort of crush on the painfully pretty boy.

He contemplated the reason as to why Mark and Donghyuck hated each other so much, but there was never a definite idea that he deemed as a suitable conclusion. People around him would say that Donghyuck wanted the role of student council president, and he was really angry when he didn't get it. But that doesn't explain why he hates Mark so much. Seunghun could assure anyone that Donghyuck didn't seem like the kind of person who held grudges, but the hatred he had for Mark was indescribable!

He even briefly wondered whether the two knew each other before coming to this college, but that analogy was quickly put to rest when he found out from others that that wasn't the case. (Both Mark and Donghyuck have some scarily loyal admirers).

In Seunghun's silent and respective opinion, he didn't entirely understand why Mark and Donghyuck even bother hating each other, when they work so well together. Despite not having much knowledge on how the school system worked, Seunghun could tell Mark and Donghyuck did the most to keep everything in line and in order. Seunghun had been to many schools in the past, but none could ever compare to the amount of precision and perfection this college had displayed, and that was clearly all due to the sheer amount of work the student council president and vice, along with their committee, put in to make sure everything runs accordingly. 

Seriously, there hasn't been a single fight in the past two years Mark and Donghyuck had been on the committee. Not only that, but the average for the school core subjects and more academic courses, had increased significantly, making students work ten times harder than usual just to meet with the standard only two people could've possibly set. No one could argue that the president and vice make an unbeatable team. So it really doesn't make sense why they don't like each other.

But, even though Seunghun could invest his time trying to figure this out, he realised that he'd much rather spend time trying to get to know someone like Lee Donghyuck instead of watching him from afar.

Which was why he decided to make his presence known and enter for the '24-hour boyfriend/girlfriend' event at the start of his second year. When he found out Donghyuck volunteered to be a lucky-someone's boyfriend, Seunghun had spent multiple nights going over everything in his head, wondering if he actually had a shot with the vice president. He then decided to 'screw it' and enter anyway.

By yet another miracle, he and Donghyuck were partnered up and Seunghun had to pull everything together to muster up the courage to talk to him. It was harder than expected, because as soon as he came into a two metre radius around the tanned boy, Seunghun was at a loss for words. Donghyuck is _absolutely_ gorgeous and there was absolutely _no_ denying it.

Which is why he was certain they had a great time together that weekend. It wasn't even the competition itself. Seunghun was sure Donghyuck enjoyed spending time with him, even after the awkward run-in with the president himself at the front gate leading onto campus.

He was so certain they were getting along well, and he made it plentily obvious that he liked Donghyuck and that he was interested in taking things to a more-than-friends level.

So when Donghyuck rejected him, it was a massive blow to his pride. 

Donghyuck wasn't like everyone else, but Seunghun could only hope that it wasn't his own status or academic capability that threw Donghyuck off. Surely, there must have been a more concrete reason as to _why_ Donghyuck didn't want to date him.

The worst part was that everything became awkward between them, and Seunghun didn't know how much of an impact Donghyuck had on him until he realised just how much of a difference it made when they weren't hanging out as much. Of course, Donghyuck was nice enough to ensure they could still be friends, but that didn't satisfy Seunghun as much as he thought it would.

He, like many others, had fallen into the pit of Donghyuck-deprivation. _Yes, that is a thing._

At the very forefront of his mind, he knew he wanted Donghyuck. He really wanted Donghyuck. But for that to happen, he needed to figure out why Donghyuck didn't date people, or have any flings, or hook ups, or anything! By that alone, one could assume Donghyuck was some sort of saint who pledged a vow of chastity.

It didn't make any sense.

"What? Are you interested in our vice president?"

Seunghun averted his attention away from Donghyuck and towards the boy sitting next to him. Majority of the football players in their year have lunch together, but today was one of those busy days where not many people were around in the cafeteria, presumably cooped up in the library or some place more quiet. So he was left with only one other person, the person he was probably the most closest with, actually - Choi Minsoo.

"Yeah... something like that." Seunghun sighed, sparing another glance in Donghyuck's direction.

"Dude, I didn't know you were gay. Weren't you sleeping with Hyerin only last week?" his friend raised a brow, completely judgementally.

"I swing both ways, I guess." Seunghun shrugged.

"Isn't it weird though? Liking another guy?" Minsoo pulled on a disgusted expression, "How could you even think about fucking men?!"

Seunghun bit back a comment and refrained himself from answering, simply brushing the topic off with a laugh. Minsoo wasn't the greatest of people to hang out with, but he couldn't afford to be picky-choosey with his friends. Minsoo was in most of his classes and they saw each other every day at practise; so their friendship was only inevitable.

"Well, there's no point in liking him anyway." Minsoo started once again, catching Seunghun's attention.

"I know... he's way out of my league." Seunghun sighed deeply, "He's at the top of the ranks; why would he want to date me?"

"What? No." Minsoo squinted at him before clarifying, "I'm not talking about ranks. I'm saying that there's no point in trying with him because he's fucking with the president."

Seunghun took a few moments to process what Minsoo just told him, the words taking way too long to decode in his mind.

"WHAT!?" he practically yelled, grateful that the bustle of the cafeteria was too loud to draw any attention. "How could you even suggest something like that?! Mark Lee and Lee Donghyuck?! Are you out of your mind?"

"It's just an assumption... but I'm pretty sure it's true." Minsoo assured, "The tension between them is so thick. They're definitely fucking." 

The sheer idea of it sent Seunghun's brain into a whiz. There is absolutely no way in hell Mark and Donghyuck would do anything remotely intimate. They literally hate being in the same room as each other - why would they voluntarily decide to be closer than they need to, even out of school hours?

"That is literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Seunghun ended up commenting, "I don't know what the fuck is going on in your brain for you to say something like that, but I am slightly concerned."

"Whatever, man." Minsoo shrugged carelessly, "It's gross anyway."

Seunghun rolled his eyes and pointedly ignored the comment, before shifting his gaze to look back at Donghyuck, trying to understand why the pretty tanned boy had his attention focused on something that wasn't whatever his friends were talking about. He tried to follow Donghyuck's gaze and identify what the latter was looking so intently at, but the sound of the bell caused him to jolt up in surprise, causing him to lose his focus as everyone started leaving for class.

He never did find out what Donghyuck was looking at that day.

The weeks only seem to drag on, and words couldn't explain how ready Seunghun was for winter break. Too much happened in the first term and all he wanted to do was go home and _sleep_.

Donghyuck, however, didn't seem to leave his mind. He tried various methods in hopes that he'd forget whatever feelings he had for Donghyuck; but no matter who he slept with, or who he went out on dates with... none of them could compare to Donghyuck.

But, then again, didn't he already establish that Donghyuck set the bar for humanity too high?

He assumed it would simply go on like that for the rest of his college life; just him silently pining for someone he couldn't have until he finally lets go of his feelings once and for all. Him receiving mediocre, barely-average grades all term was yet another reminder that he just wasn't up to the kind of standard Donghyuck was at.

Winter break was going to go by in a flash as well, and Seunghun knew it. Christmas came by and he was graced with two days of peace away from his feelings and with his family and friends instead. Being emotionally aware of your feelings is great because he knew that, at some point, this infatuation will pass just like it did every other time.

What he didn't expect, however, was to get a string of messages on the 31st of December, only a few hours until new years. He had to blink few times and turn his phone on and off even more times when he saw the incoming messages from none other than Donghyuck himself. It was completely random and unpredictable and Seunghun really didn't know what other way to react but to freeze still on the spot and contemplate his next move.

**pretty boy hyuck:**

seunhungn  
ar u awke?  
uhfdo  
cAn yu pic Me up?  
im a biT DRUNK hehE~

There was a fluttery feeling in his chest and Seunghun was incredibly confused on what to do. He didn't even know Donghyuck had plans for new years, which led him to getting so drunk. Yet, out of all people, _he_ was the person Donghyuck messaged. It didn't make any sense, but when it came to Donghyuck, Seunghun didn't bother to think twice about what to do and straight away headed to where Donghyuck was, with the help of snapmaps coming into use more than it had ever done before.

He drove out to an unknows area of Seoul, surprisingly near campus, but the neighbourhood itself looked expensive and private; a place where probably the governors of the city lived, or some other high class citizens. 

Letting his phone guide the way, Seunghun passed by door after door in search for one particular house. Hoping it was the house of at least someone he knew, Seunghun cautiously passed through the gate and walked up to the front door; ringing the bell once before waiting patiently for someone to open up.

When it did open, Seunghun was greeted with the sight of a tall man with chocolate brown hair that was ruffled and tousled, like he just got out of bed, even when his attire said otherwise.

"Who are you?" the tall boy asked, his cheeks flushed and even from where he was standing, Seunghun could smell alcohol everywhere.

"Uhhh... I'm Seunghun and... I was wondering if Lee Donghyuck was here?" Seunghun replied, albeit a little hesitantly.

"And what if he is?" the taller gave him a quizzical look, raising a brow.

Seunghun was about to give an answer, ready to explain the situation and prove he wasn't just some stranger or some stalker who tracked people's whereabouts and asked for them. But he couldn't get his words out when someone else appeared at the door; someone who Seunghun was most definitely _not_ expecting to see tonight.

_Mark Lee._

"What do you want?" Mark sneered at him, his tone ever-so demanding and threatening, as if he didn't know why the hell Seunghun was even here. Seunghun knew that he hadn't had any encounters with the student council president before tonight, always observing the model student from afar and hearing his name fall from everyone's lips. And now that Mark was talking to him directly, he understood why Mark was deemed unapproachable yet admirable by many. Mark may be scary, but there's so much confidence in his voice alone that it could throw anyone off their train of thought.

"Mark? I didn't know you would be here as well..." Seunghun started, attempting to appear casual, "I was just-"

"He said he's here for Donghyuck." the tall guy interrupted him, and before Seunghun had the chance to explain, he was met with the deadliest _glare_ he had ever received in his entire life. Mark's eyes felt like they were piercing through his skull and Seunghun was sure his entire body froze under the other's scrutinizing gaze.

"Why are you here for him? What do you want? How did you even know he was here?" Mark interrogated him.

Technically, Seunghun had an answer for all of those questions, but his lips were practically glued shut, to the point where he had to force his mouth open just to spit something out and not make a fool out of himself in front of the most popular boy at school.

"He texted me... he said he was drunk and I got worried..." Seunghun hastily pulled out his phone and showed the other boy his conversation with Donghyuck, just to prove his point.

Mark spared a short glance at the phone screen and screwed his eyes at the drunk text messages Donghyuck had sent. Seunghun could tell the other looked angry, but he couldn't figure out why.

"I should probably take him..." Seunghun stepped a little closer to peer behind Mark's figure in hopes of seeing Donghyuck somewhere.

As if his wishes had been granted, Donghyuck soon came stumbling to the door, a hazy smile on his lips and his cheeks burning red.

"Hyung? What are you doing here~~" Donghyuck's whiny voice cooed as he crashed into Mark's back absentmindedly, his words slightly slurred and his voice mumbled. When Donghyuck blinked his eyes open, he caught sight of someone familiar and he couldn't help but smile excitedly, "Seunghunnie! You're here! Are you going to join us?? Please join!"

Soon, Donghyuck took Seunghun's hand into his and swung it side to side, practically bouncing with happiness. Seunghun himself was a blushing mess, unable to calm himself once he realised how cute Donghyuck was when he was drunk. 

Even after being rejected by him, Donghyuck never failed to make his heart _race_.

_Maybe this was his chance?_

"Donghyuck-ah, you're drunk... should I take you back to your dorm?" he asked softly, even though in the corner of his eye, he could still see Mark glaring at him.

"But I don't want to go..." Donghyuck pouted, despite his body not making any moves to reject the proposal.

"What's going on?" another boy, slightly shorter with cat-like eyes, came in a while later in search for someone, only to realise that there seemed to be some sort of gathering by the door.

"Just seeing Hyuck off." the tall boy, who Seunghun was greeted by first, explained.

"You're leaving?" the boy with cat-like eyes looked at Donghyuck and noticed that there was someone else as well, someone unfamiliar. He shot a glance at Mark and noticed the way the latter stood still, observing everything before him.

"I'll take him now." Seunghun announced, swinging an arm around Donghyuck's shoulders and helping him to walk with another arm around the latter's waist.

Somehow, word spread throughout the house quickly and soon, more people gathered by the door, to the point where Seunghun almost felt intimated by the group of evidently older men that he didn't even know Donghyuck was friends with. There must have been ten or so people by the door, all clearly university boys, or maybe even older. But Seunghun couldn't spend any longer trying to ponder over the reasons as to why Donghyuck was spending time with them, and more importantly, why he was spending time with Mark Lee, when the two blatantly hated each other. 

There were shouts and screeches from somewhere deeper inside the house, and Seunghun could've sworn they sounded familiar, but his sight had been obstructed by the wall of university boys, who were currently looking at him with unreadable gazes. Seunghun wanted nothing more than to take Donghyuck away from here; a part of him growing worried that Donghyuck came here unknowingly and that these university boys dragged him here and forced him to get drunk. Or maybe Mark did that? Mark hated Donghyuck enough, so Seunghun wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. Still, the thought of Donghyuck being here with people he didn't know, made Seunghun uneasy, fully intended on getting the boy out of there and taking him back to his dorm.

He tried to make his intentions known by turning around to leave, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him, the grip tightening with every second that went by.

When Seunghun turned around, he came face-to-face with Mark, and a part of him wished he would never have found himself in such a position, because having a face-off with the student council president was one of the scariest experiences he's ever came across.

"What is it?" Seunghun managed to ask, mentally proud of himself for not stumbling over his words. Donghyuck was almost completely knocked out in his arms, and Seunghun could only pray the latter wouldn't remember any of this when he sobers up.

Mark didn't answer straight away. Instead, he simply pulled Donghyuck roughly until the latter was a good distance away from Seunghun, sending the said boy into a wave of confusion as he visibly tried to comprehend what just happened. Either that, or the older, university boys behind Mark and Donghyuck suddenly had very relieved-looking expressions, which only seemed to add to Seunghun's confusion.

"I don't know you that well. Why should I let you take him?" Mark questioned, pushing Donghyuck behind him, as if preventing Seunghun from even looking at him.

"He asked me to take him... I-" Seunghun was about to defend himself, but his words suddenly fell dry on his tongue. He had a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why he should take Donghyuck back himself, but the judgemental looks he was getting from the boys in front of him were enough to render Seunghun completely motionless. 

For the few seconds of embarrassment that he had to endure, Seunghun briefly shifted his gaze over to Mark's hand, which was still holding onto Donghyuck's tightly while the latter hid behind his back. Seunghun hadn't been in situations like these before, but the way Mark was shielding Donghyuck... it was almost like Mark was _protecting_ him?

That's when Seunghun knew he must be going insane, because there is no way in hell Mark Lee would feel a sense of protection over someone... especially if that someone was Donghyuck. 

"He's my cousin." another boy, slightly taller than the boy with cat-like eyes, had informed, as if the piece of information should be enough to convince Seunghun, "I'll take him myself. Thank you for looking out for him, but he's really drunk and he didn't know who he was texting. Sorry to trouble you." 

"I see..." Seunghun gulped, still feeling rather small amidst all the piercing gazes being sent from the crowd of older boys behind Mark and Donghyuck; people he didn't know, but knew not to mess with. "It's fine. If that's the case, then I'll be taking my leave n-"

Seunghun didn't get to finish off his sentence when the door slammed in his face, and he could only assume that was Mark's doing. Only a few moments later, the door opened once again and Donghyuck's supposed cousin peered out and gave him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry again about that." the older boy apologised, "Mark's also really drunk. Don't mind him."

"It's fine." Seunghun assured, waving it off. "I'll be going now."

"Right." the other nodded his head in agreement, "Thanks! Bye!

Seunghun felt a small gust of wind rush to his face when the door closed once more, leaving him to stare at the wooden frame in utter confusion of what this very evening entailed. 

A lot seemed to have happened tonight and Seunghun knew he should be getting back before the last few minutes of this year slip away and he ends up crossing over to a brand new year with someone who wasn't interested in him on his mind. That would be sad.

And just like that, the year was already over.

Seunghun didn't think much about it before, but when he did, he realised that there had been multiple occasions where student council president, Mark Lee, showed some sort of care towards others. When he says 'others', he meant Donghyuck.

It was well known that Mark and Donghyuck's relationship was built on shattered pieces of glass, proving to be dangerous to everyone else but the two people involved. But after noticing the amount of coincidental run-ins Mark and Donghyuck have, he started to wonder whether the two were actually on better terms than everyone assumed.

There was a club meeting one day, where all the sports teams at Seoul International gathered in an empty lecture hall during lunch break and had a meeting on upcoming sporting events and excursions. As always, there seemed to be a long line between football team and the basketball team, emphasising the silent competition the two teams were involved in.

Yet, somehow (he wants to say that it was another miracle), Lee Jeno from the football team and Mark Lee seem to be getting along quite well. Well, better than anyone else from the respective teams.

Seunghun watched as Jeno showed something to Mark on his phone, and from where he was sitting, he could see that the phone screen was opened at an article about a footballer he himself particularly liked. Mark looked interested enough to give Jeno his full attention, occasionally inputting his own opinions and remarks and overall conversing with Jeno like they spend every day together. (Seunghun was certain this was the first time he had seen Jeno and Mark talk).

He then happens to overhear the next few words that come out of Mark's mouth, despite no one else paying attention, Seunghun still heard them.

"You know, I've seen you on the courts after classes... you're pretty good for someone who's spent all their time practising football. You should consider trying out for the basketball team."

Mark may be the school's sports' representative, but Seunghun felt something similar to a fire ignite in his chest when he heard those words. Lee Jeno was his best player, even better than himself; there was no way they could afford losing someone like that. _Especially_ not to the basketball team!

"Jeno! Coach said he wants to see you after practise." Seunghun quickly announced, making something up on the spot when he noticed Jeno was about to give Mark an answer to his suggestion.

Just as Seunghun said that, Mark had sent him an unimpressed yet judgemental look, the kind that would torment Seunghun every time he went to training an practises. The kind of look that should light fire after fire in his chest, one that couldn't be extinguished until the football team became a more established club within the school community.

Even if the spark of determination was there, it all only played out in his head, and Seunghun knew there was a wall blocking him from finally reaching that goal of deserving recognition.

"What does he want to talk about?" Jeno asked him, and Seunghun forced himself not to meet Mark's expecting gaze as he tried to make up an answer for Jeno.

"He said that-"

"Is Lee Jeno here?!" a voice burst through the room, interrupting whatever Seunghun wanted to say.

Everyone looked over to the door where a panting girl stood, looking as if she rushed here in a state of urgency.

"Yeah?" Jeno answered, getting up and heading for the door.

"Vice president Donghyuck asked me to give these to you." the girl informed, before handing Jeno a folder of what looked like sheets and other various handouts.

By now, everyone had returned to their conversations in their respective clubs, knowing the meeting would start in only a few minutes. Seunghun kept watch on whatever was happening at the door, glimpsing at Mark when he noticed the older boy doing the same thing. Seunghun could only hope Mark wasn't interested in getting Jeno to join the basketball team.

"Did something happen to Donghyuck? He said he'd give me these at the end of the day." Jeno asked, looking at the girl curiously.

"Ah!" her eye lit up, as if she missed out an important detail, "Donghyuck-ssi tripped down the stairs and bruised his knee. He's in the infirmary right now and he told me to give these to you in case he didn't see you."

Seunghun's eyes blew open at the new piece of information. Was Donghyuck ok? Was it a bad fall? How did it even happen?

Various questions ran through his mind, but before he could take a moment to answer them all, he could see Mark get up from his seat abruptly before heading for the door, excusing himself past Jeno and the girl and leaving the lecture hall with a certain determination in his step.

Seunghun didn't entirely know what he was doing, but he ended up getting up and following after Mark, making up yet another excuse of needing to go to the toilet before the meeting starts.

He ensured to keep at a safe and unnoticeable distance behind Mark, watching the older's moves cautiously and following him up a few flights of stairs until they reached a specific room - the infirmary.

There was a tight feeling in his chest as he crept up close to the door and tried to peer inside to see what was happening. He made out Mark's figure talking to the head nurse, his arms folded and his stance powerful and leader-like, as if he was adamant on getting some clarification.

"What happened?" Seunghun heard Mark ask the head nurse.

"A first year was running down the stairs and ended up bumping into Donghyuck on the last flight." the head nurse explained, "He fell on his knee while trying to catch a folder of documents."

"Documents? Why would he risk getting hurt just for some documents?" Mark asked again, earning a slight shrug from the nurse.

"I asked him that as well, but he only said that they were important for student council and that he didn't want to crinkle them or damage them in any way." the nurse clarified.

Seunghun watched as Mark stilled for a moment before letting out a disbelieving sigh, shaking his head and walking over to the bed Donghyuck was currently resting on.

He couldn't make out what Mark was saying, but he heard the words "idiot" and "brat", and he could only assume Mark was using the opportunity of Donghyuck being asleep, to make fun of him for his clumsiness. It still didn't make sense why Seunghun had fallen witness of Mark reaching out to move a few strands of hair out of Donghyuck's eyes, his movements were so _gentle_ that Seunghun was completely taken aback by what he was seeing.

"What was that first year's name?" Mark turned to ask the head nurse once more, nodding in approval when he got a name in return.

Seunghun quickly made his way back to the lecture hall where the sports' clubs meeting was taking place, internally praying Mark didn't see him or catch him eavesdropping.

He kept thinking back to the way Mark didn't wait a single moment before making his way to the infirmary to check on Donghyuck, and he couldn't help but ponder over the variety of reasons behind that.

Maybe they _are_ friends and no one knows about it?

The likeliness of that being the reason was very small. But not _impossible_.

All throughout the day, he hears as well as sees Mark and Donghyuck fighting, loud shouts coming from the student council room, mini-verbal brawls across the cafeteria in front of everyone; a hatred so pure and a rivalry so cutthroat, no one could even think about the possibility of the president and vice president being friends.

Seunghun did, however, see a first year being called into the student council room one afternoon, only to leave the room a few moments later practically on the verge of tears. 

It still doesn't make any sense.

Seunghun came to a realisation that he was completely infatuated with Lee Donghyuck. Such a realisation was clearly very overdue and he didn't know why he only accepted the fact now. But as he watched Donghyuck on stage, performing his heart out and owning the character he was playing, Seunghun was certain he had never seen someone dazzle as much as Donghyuck did in that very moment.

When he looks at the people sitting in his row, darkness casted over them with the only light being emitted from the stage, he could see that everyone else wore the same expression as his own. They all had the same sort of infatuation and desire, and Seunghun didn't think his feelings entirely stood out over the rest. There can't be a single person in the audience who wasn't completely awestruck by the beauty and talents of Lee Donghyuck, and Seunghun had no choice but to relate to such thoughts.

A big part of him wanted to stand out from the crowd of Donghyuck's admirers. He wanted to get closer to the boy, receive Donghyuck's attention like no one else ever had. He wanted Donghyuck to want him _back_. 

It's one of the few reasons Seunghun had to explain the sudden burst of courage that overcame him. The kind of courage which was enough to confess to Donghyuck all over again, a grand bouquet in his hand and a hopefully heartfelt confession on the tip of his tongue.

He could see confusion swirling in Donghyuck's eyes when he finally managed to get the latter alone. The air between them is awkward and Seunghun doesn't know how to start off, since the memory of new years eve still lingered in the back of his mind, and Donghyuck's prominent confusion right now gave him the impression that the pretty, tanned-skin boy didn't remember that night at all.

Seunghun was grateful for that. That night was strange and he didn't want their relationship to be built on the basis of those events.

So he confessed once more. Wanting to convey his feelings sincerely, wanting to show that he could truly make Donghyuck happy if he was just given a chance. And when Donghyuck was too speechless to respond, he decided to take initiative for once and pull him in for a kiss, pridefully sealing his confession with the way their lips moved against each other. It must have been another miracle, because Donghyuck was kissing him back and he swore he had never felt so elated before.

Elated, accomplished, deserving, _confident_. Lee Donghyuck makes Seunghun feel like he's on top of the _world_.

Seunghun took the opportunity to open his eyes and observe the way Donghyuck was responding to his kiss, but as he did so, he noticed someone standing not too far from them. He glanced over Donghyuck's shoulder and spotted a figure with a simplistic bouquet of sunflowers in their hand.

His momentary shock was later overcome with another realisation as he watched as none other than student council president, Mark Lee, dropped his bouquet of flowers on the floor. There was a bitter expression on his face that Seunghun couldn't decipher the meaning behind, but he didn't have enough time to think about it when he saw Mark turn on his heel and leave swiftly.

Donghyuck told him that they'd talk more tomorrow, stating he was too tired after his performance. Seunghun nodded in understanding, hopeful that their kiss signified a rekindling of their relationship.

When Donghyuck walked away and Seunghun was sure the latter was out of his sight, he walked up to the bouquet of sunflowers on the floor and wondered what were Mark's intentions with them.

With no thoughts in his mind or hesitance in his movements, Seunghun picked up the bouquet and went over to the nearest trash can, dropping them in before proceeding with the rest of his evening, excited with what tomorrow had in store for him.

Dating Lee Donghyuck was a dream. 

Having someone as pretty as the tanned boy to call yours felt like the biggest reward imaginable, and Seunghun wanted to savour every drop of that glory.

Donghyuck was pretty to look at, gentle to hold, easy to talk to and pleasant to kiss. God, Seunghun could think about kissing Donghyuck all day long. He makes use of such privileges and sneaks kisses from the latter in every possible situation, never getting tired of the flustered expression Donghyuck wears every time he does so. A sense of pride builds up in his chest when he walks around knowing that Donghyuck is his boyfriend. He notices the looks of awe people send their way whenever they walk around hand-in-hand. The feeling was exhilarating and Seunghun didn't know how he was able to live without this for so long.

His happiness radiates even when he goes to football practise, ready to suffer through gruelling hours of training and endless fitness. He knew he had to focus, since the upcoming match they had would threaten the survival of their club, and being embarrassed in front of basically the entire school, by the causes of the student council president himself, was enough to motivate him to practise harder. Either that, or the thought of Donghyuck being unimpressed by him lingered in his mind more than he would've liked. Sure, his academic standards are nothing to be proud of, but he knew that if he kept up with his sporting activities, Donghyuck would still find him attractive enough.

"He's gonna cheat on you." Minsoo interrupted his thought process during practise one evening.

Seunghun snapped his neck to look at him with a new-found intolerance, annoyed with how blatant and crude Minsoo was deciding to be.

"Why the fuck do you hate him so much? You think so badly of him that it's actually sickening, man." Seunghun grumbled when Minsoo shrugged carelessly.

"Hey, I tried to warn you that there was no point in going after someone like the vice president." Minsoo reminded, "He and Mark Lee have a thing going on. How do you expect Donghyuck to have feelings for you when he's clearly involved with someone else?"

"If that was the case, Donghyuck and I wouldn't be dating right now." Seunghun snapped back, knowing his words were evidence enough. Minsoo kept up with his strange analogy of Mark and Donghyuck's relationship, and every time Seunghun heard it, a sick feeling boiled in the pit of his stomach; the words frustrating and annoying to hear.

"He's probably just using you, let's be real." Minsoo sighed, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a box of cigarettes. Seunghun wanted to tell him that they were still at football practise on the open fields - smoking wasn't allowed on school grounds, but he bit back his comment.

"What do you mean by that?" Seunghun didn't know why he was suddenly entertaining Minsoo's strange ideas, but his friend was leaving him on edge with his sceptic ways of speech that left so many unanswered questions in Seunghun's mind.

"How is it not obvious, man?" Minsoo looked at him in disbelief, "Donghyuck is the biggest slut in the entire school. He would do anything for more dick. Fucking disgusting, if you ask me."

"Dude, stop. Seriously." Seunghun stood up, pointing an accusing finger at Minsoo, feeling his heart beating erratically from the fury that was slowly building up in his veins. "If you don't stop being so insolent, then I'll bench you for the entire game."

Minsoo only laughed, as if he didn't believe Seunghun would actually do that.

"I'm just saying, captain." he raised his hands in mocked surrender, "I've _heard_ it."

Seunghun tilts his head in confusion, clueless to the implications behind Minsoo's words.

"When everyone's left the changing rooms after training." Minsoo's smirk grows bigger and suddenly more evil, "There are only _two_ people left in the basketball team's locker area. What would you think if I told you that I've _heard_ our wonderful vice president, Donghyuck, be pleasured by none other than Mark Lee himself? They've been fucking for ages now, Seunghun, and no one even knows! It's so fucking _funny_!" Minsoo laughed obnoxiously, as if he actually found the situation humorous. He probably did. "Don't ask me how I found out, but you know I've always had my suspicions. And after I heard them for myself, I knew I was right all along. Donghyuck will never be anything more than a slut and its clear as day."

Seunghun froze at the words, unable to form a proper response to retaliate against the horrible things Minsoo was saying. He had no reason to believe him, but then again, Minsoo had no reason to lie either.

It can't be true... right?

There's no _way_.

"But, hey, who knows? Maybe they've stopped fucking now that you and Donghyuck are a thing." Minsoo cackled, probably at the unlikeliness of what he was saying. Seunghun knew the other wasn't in any way trying to make him feel better.

The prospect didn't put him at ease even in the slightest and Seunghun was stumped on ways to approach the new piece of information. Should he confront Donghyuck about it? Should he ask him?

But what if it's true? Would that mean they'd have to break up? Barely over a month into their relationship? The kind of relationship Seunghun had been over the moon about?

He didn't want to end things over some superstition Minsoo had been proclaiming. Not if he didn't see it with his own eyes first.

That very moment happened to be the following weekend, where a big party was held and practically the entire higher end of the social pyramid was attending. He wanted to act normal around Donghyuck, but Minsoo's words wouldn't leave his mind and he didn't know why.

Forcefully brushing such thoughts away, Seunghun tried to stay with Donghyuck as much as he could that night, but somehow, they kept drifting apart, losing each other in the crowd. It got to the point where Seunghun ended up spending over an hour at the beer pong table, the thought of Donghyuck not passing through his mind even once. After a few moments spent to sober up, Seunghun quickly looked around for Donghyuck, spotting him being cornered by a group of girls.

"Seunghun-ssi! We were just asking Donghyuck if he could ask Mark oppa to join in our game." one of the girl's explained as soon as he made his presence known by Donghyuck's side.

"Because everyone knows that only Donghyuck-ssi can ask Mark oppa for things." another inputted.

The words made something twist in Seunghun's chest, and he couldn't fully understand why Mark's name was accompanied in every conversation Donghyuck was in.

"Sounds more like you're too scared to ask him yourself." he heard Donghyuck huff, clearly unimpressed by what he was hearing.

"Hyuck, it's not a big deal. Just ask him and then we can play..." Seunghun didn't know why he was telling Donghyuck to do that, because he didn't mean it at all. He didn't want Donghyuck to go approach Mark. He didn't want the two to interact and Seunghun would end up losing Donghyuck in the crowd once again. He didn't want Minsoo to be _right_.

It was supposed to be entertaining. Seunghun had never been the overbearing, possessive type, so the sight of Donghyuck kissing other people was ridiculously hot and a part of him wondered whether Donghyuck was thinking about _him_ when kissing others, if Donghyuck wanted to kiss him instead.

He only had himself to blame when the bottle was spun and many rounds later, it was Mark Lee's turn and soon, all Seunghun could hear was the loud sound of people gossiping; whispering and mumbling under their breaths, as if no one could hear them. There was shouting, someone announcing that Lee Donghyuck already has a boyfriend. _Him_. He is that boyfriend. But Seunghun had been too slow to react, trying to get up and follow after Donghyuck when Mark pulled him away.

Again, he lost him in the crowd.

The minutes went tantalisingly slow and Seunghun couldn't wait any longer for Mark and Donghyuck to finish. He could feel the insecurities easting him up inside, his mind wondering to what the two could be doing all alone.

_Are they- are they doing it?_

Was Minsoo right all along? Were they only looking for opportunities to be alone together? 

When Seunghun looked around, no one seemed to be visibly bothered like him. Yes, people were talking. People are always _talking_. He can hear Mark's name and Donghyuck's name being uttered from all four walls of this room alone. Everyone is making their own assumptions and none of them sound close to even being correct.

Seunghun himself doesn't know what to assume.

_What exactly are they doing?_

Deciding they were gone for too long, Seunghun looked around all possible locations the two supposedly mortal enemies could be hiding in. Luckily, it didn't take him too long, but when he opened the closet door and found Mark Lee trying to reduce the distance between him and Donghyuck, while the latter had his hands pinned up on either side of his head... Seunghun didn't know how to _feel_.

He reached out, grabbed Donghyuck's arm and pulled him away, saving no time to look at Mark's face, assuming that there would only be a judgemental scowl like there had always been every time they merely looked at each other.

"Are you ok? What happened? Was Mark trying to-"

"No! No... no, it's fine." Donghyuck cut Seunghun off when the other managed to secure them in a space amidst the crowded living room. "Don't worry about it."

Seunghun didn't know whether to feel annoyed or relieved. He was relieved Donghyuck seemed ok enough, but he was annoyed the latter sounded as if he was hiding something. Donghyuck wouldn't meet his eye and that alone was a sign that something happened in the closet room... but Donghyuck won't tell him what. Again, it was never his means to pry or pressure Donghyuck to tell him what was going on, so he thought it was perfectly fine to accept whatever Donghyuck told him and move on with the rest of the night. He made a mental note to stick by Donghyuck for the rest of the party, though.

One thing must've led to another, because the next thing he knew, Seunghun woke up to the sound of an alarm ringing in his ear. Automatically, he reached to the side and slammed his hand down on his phone, only turning the alarm off on his third attempt. The movement was familiar, causing him to open his eyes wide and jolt upright. He looked around, trying to familiarise himself with his surroundings, taking way too long to realise that he was in his room.

The events of the part last night were still fresh in his mind, all up until he blacked out, completely drunk and high, and now, he had the worst hungover in the history of all his past hangovers.

Begrudgingly, he forced himself out of his room and into the common area of his dorm, catching a familiar face lounging on their couch.

"Hey, Minsoo..." he started off, tiredly ruffling his hair, "how did I get back here?"

Minsoo looked up when Seunghun crashed on the couch next to him. He shook his head and punched his friend on his shoulder with a laugh.

"I had to drag your tired ass out of there, dude. You can't handle that much alcohol, man... why did you drink so much?" Minsoo questioned, as if he was actually interested.

"I don't know." Seunghun shrugged, "Just felt like it." ok, that's not entirely true. Seunghun had only one thing on mind when he decided to get absolutely shit-faced at that party. His mind had been racing with thoughts related to Donghyuck, and then Mark, and then Donghyuck and Mark.

There was a strange yet painful sensation in his chest when he thought back to the recently intimate interactions they've had, and it makes Seunghun feel all sorts of things; confusion, disappointment... _jealousy_.

"How-... how did Donghyuck get back?" he hesitantly asked, hoping Minsoo at least had an answer.

"You might not want to hear it but I'm gonna tell you anyway." Minsoo smirked, a victorious sort of smile, "Mark Lee took him back."

Seunghun let out a tired groan, lolling his head on the back of the couch, half expecting those words, and half not wanting to expect them. This shouldn't prove anything. They might just be friends. Maybe they've gotten closer? That doesn't mean any feelings are involved!

"If it makes you feel better, I was the only one who saw that. No one else was around." Minsoo added and, admittedly, that did make Seunghun feel better. He didn't want rumours going around that Donghyuck is cheating on him with the student council president. 

Because he knows that would never be the case.

Donghyuck isn't like that.

A few days later, after his last class of the day, Seunghun left the classroom, only to see Donghyuck waiting nearby. Worriedly, he approached the latter, preparing himself to hear something related to the party a while back. A part of him wondered what happened when Mark Lee took his boyfriend, or even where he took Donghyuck to. What did they do? Did they realise they had feelings for each other or something? Did they decided that, because no one was around, they could do whatever they want together? Did they sleep togeth- _no!_ Seunghun _knew_ Donghyuck would never do something like that. It just wasn't possible.

"Seunghun!" Donghyuck waved him over once he looked up from his phone, a bright smile on his face that made Seunghun's heart clench painfully, and he only realised now that, because of classes and clashing schedules, they hadn't had much time to talk.

"H-hey!" even now, the sight of Donghyuck never failed to make him stutter.

"I just wanted to say thank you." Donghyuck started off, and Seunghun had take a few moments to comprehend what he had just heard. Donghyuck was... thanking him?

"For what?" Seunghun reluctantly asked, wracking his brain to see if he did anything credible to deserve Donghyuck's gratitude.

"You brought me to my dorm room after the party, right?" Donghyuck stepped a little closer, hands behind his back as he glanced up at the other.

_What?_

Seunghun could feel his brain go haywire. Did Donghyuck seriously think that? He doesn't know who actually took him? Was he too drunk to register anything from that night?

_This-... this is amazing!_

"Oh... oh yeah! It's fine." Seunghun knew better than to lie, but if the opportunity was right here for him to take, who was he to deny it? He doesn't want Donghyuck finding out the truth any time soon, so he'd rather implant a different memory in the latter's head. It was the only reasonable method. He doesn't want their relationship to falter in any way. "It's really no big deal." he tired to play it cool.

"It is! You didn't have to take me back from that party." Donghyuck protested with a sly smile, before pushing Seunghun by his shoulder playfully.

 _Yup_. Seunghun knew that lying was the only way to keep Donghyuck interested in him.

"That was ages ago now, you don't have to do anything in return. I couldn't leave you there." Seunghun carried on, trying to keep Donghyuck's affection for as long as he could.

"Well still, it was nice of you." Donghyuck smiled, balancing himself on the balls of his feet as he looked up at the other through his eyelashes.

Seunghun could feel the air in his lungs gradually give way.

"Hmm... does that mean I deserve a reward?" he grinned, trying to shift into a more flirtatious tone, hoping to capture Donghyuck's lips after not being able to do so for a while. Slowly, he leaned in, missing the way Donghyuck stiffened for a moment before relaxing and letting his eyes flutter close.

Seunghun couldn't lean in any further when he felt something (or someone) crash into his side, pushing him into the wall slightly. Shocked by the intrusion, he looked around and saw a boy he didn't know and someone else standing behind him.

_Mark._

"Shit, sorry." the boy apologised, and Seunghun only waved if off with an understanding smile.

When the boy left, he turned back to face Donghyuck, only to realise the latter was in some sort of argument with Mark, both of them spiting at each other too quickly and too casually for Seunghun to pick up on what they were saying. From the look on Donghyuck's face, he assumed the latter was insulting Mark as per usual.

"Hand in your work and keep your pda for places that aren't the hallways where everyone can see." he heard Mark tell Donghyuck, his own voice monotonous and probably uncaring. The words were probably more directed for him, but Mark never looked his way even once.

Seunghun watched when Mark flicked Donghyuck's forehead, an unreadable look on his face that Seunghun didn't know how to interpret. He doubted Donghyuck even realised what Mark was doing, since the latter took his arm and dragged him away until Mark was out of their sight.

Seunghun didn't _want_ to look back, but when he did, all he could see was that same unreadable expression Mark always wore whenever he and Donghyuck would bump into him at the unlikeliest of times. He could only let out a frustrated sigh as he let Donghyuck pull him away.

Lee Donghyuck should be _his_.

Why does it not feel like that?

There isn't much in that happened in Kim Seunghun's life that he ends up regretting.

Sure, he regrets not taking studies more seriously and putting his academics first. If that happened, than maybe his brain power wouldn't be as slow as it constantly feels like it is. Even at football practise, a sport he loves playing and loves playing with others; but the adrenaline doesn't fully kick in when he's on the field. 

It feels like he's forgetting something.

"Captain!" Seunghun whipped his head around at the call of his title, only to see Minsoo jogging up to him. "What's the plan for tonight? We've finished practise, but the others and I still want to keep going for the match next week."

"Oh, really? If that's the case then..." Seunghun looked around the field, "start again with the basic drills. We'll go into a practise match in a bit."

Minsoo nodded his head and went over to tell the others, and Seunghun could do nothing but watch.

His mind was so full with thoughts and revelations that he never thought he'd end up thinking about. Maybe if he was a little smarter? A little more demanding?

It's dark and cold and looks as if its about to rain any second now. Words to instruct everyone to be wary of the weather were on the tip of his tongue, but they just didn't come out.

It's not him right? He's not the one that should be feeling this way? He made his moves. He's played his cards and he got something out of it. Isn't it up to both of them to make it work?

_Even if that meant competing against someone he didn't even know would be competition._

"Ok, captain, everyone's all warmed up again." Minsoo interrupted his thoughts, "You've been standing there like an idiot for a while now. Are you gonna practise or what?"

"I am, I'm just-" Seunghun pauses for a moment because, really, what was he thinking about? How his relationship with his supposed boyfriend doesn't really feel like a relationship? Or that it feels like it's only some kind of one-sided attraction, even though his advances had been reciprocated?

"What's the big deal, man?" Minsoo sighed in evident disappointment, "Why are you so hung up on him? Isn't he just a good fuck or something?"

"What?! No!" Seunghun quickly denied. He had never thought of it like that, but it's not like he didn't think about it. They were a good month into their relationship, but they hadn't crossed over any boundaries when it came to taking it to the next level. They haven't even reached the bedroom yet.

Not that he was in any rush.

But bedroom activities was the entire reason why his past relationships lasted as long as they did.

_(It can't be helped. Seunghun was certain everyone was just the same as him)._

"I'm just thinking about what... what you said." Seunghun grinded his teeth together, not wanting to explicitly recall the kind of ideas Minsoo had been implanting in his mind.

"Ahh..." Minsoo chuckled, as if the other's suffering was entertaining for him, "you know you wouldn't be able to win anyway."

Seunghun makes a noise of complaint, preferably wanting to hear something different. But its not like Minsoo was lying or anything.

"He's just greedy for attention. That boyfriend of yours." Minsoo shrugged, carelessness and spite evident in his tone, "The president and vice are just the same. They're too high up there. It's like everyone has to treat them like royalty or some shit like that. So fucking hard to impress. I don't know why you bother wasting your time planning dates just to please him."

Like a trigger word that struck his head and forced him to remember something, Seunghun's body suddenly jolted awake, more awake than it had been the entire time he was out at practise.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" he cursed loudly, rushing towards the benches at the side to grab his stuff. 

"What is it now?" Minsoo rolled his eyes at how over-dramatic Seunghun was being.

"Date! I have a date right now! Donghyuck-" Seunghun groaned loudly, fisting his hair in frustration, "Shit! I can't believe I forgot!"

"Damn... it sucks to be you." Minsoo laughed.

Seunghun glared at him before shoving past him harshly when the other had no intention to hold back his laughter. Ignoring his useless friend, he rushed towards the changing rooms and threw himself into the shower, trying to rid himself of the sweat and stench from gruelling hours of practise he had just gone through. Knowing he didn't have appropriate enough clothes in his bag, Seunghun made a sprint towards his dorm room and burst through his bedroom door, flinging pieces of clothing out of his wardrobe and throwing something on. He grabbed his necessities, slipped on his shoes and ran out of the dorm block in record time, only now checking his phone, eyeing the amount of missed calls and unread text messages in sudden despair.

'Fuck. I fucked up!' he chanted in his head, feeling a gust of regret and guilt flushing his entire body. 

Using his phone, he made his way to the restaurant Donghyuck told him to meet him at, mentally praying the latter was still there, even though he was almost an hour late. He could see the lights of the restaurant nearing, causing his legs to move faster and break out into a sprint, trying to chase back the remaining seconds of the date he practically let slip away. He had been looking forward to this very date ever since Donghyuck told him about it. The fact that Donghyuck wanted to plan it and organise it himself reinforced Seunghun's feelings even more. Donghyuck still likes him. They're dating. He's certain they're _meant to be_.

He steadies himself on the heels of his feet, checks his appearance once and then once more. He plans a string of apologies in his head and thinks up ways to make up for being late. From now on, he won't make anymore mistakes.

Turning in to walk down the spot-lit pathway leading to the entrance of the restaurant to meet Donghyuck, Seunghun takes in his surroundings, drinking up the amount of elegance and class this very restaurant held. His eyes catch something familiar through a window, two figures sitting at a table, a mop of caramel brown hair and another with raven black.

Seunghun could feel his eyes widen at the sight before him. Two painfully recognizable figures, sitting opposite each other like it had been planned all along, as if _this_ was the way tonight was supposed to go.

Where _those_ two are warm and happy, while he's stuck on the other side of the glass, only there to spectate, his body frozen in place and every word he previously wanted to shout out to the world dies on his tongue. There's so much anger and jealousy bubbling in his chest, and it all flows down to his clenched fists. He wants to do _something_. He wants to march in there and make it known to both of them that he's hurting because of _this_. That he's had to witness the two interact, he's had to suppress any feelings of displeasure whenever he even _hears_ their names in the same sentence.

This has happened before, if Seunghun thought hard about it.

He knows this has happened before.

Where he's looking for Donghyuck, when he's in search for someone who's completely stolen his heart.

Yet every time he manages to locate the latter, he _always_ runs into Mark Lee along the way.

_Why does this keep happening?_

Seunghun was getting _desperate_.

There was simply no other way to put it.

He spent time and energy trying to please a boy he so blatantly liked, but it seemed that, no matter what he did, they ended up drifting further apart instead of growing closer like he wanted.

A big part of him didn't understand why he demanded redemption for something he had no say in.

He set up a candle-lit dinner, prepared an ounce of confessions, reinforced with so much admiration for the boy he liked; invited him over and readied himself to apologise. Then their night will proceed in a similar fashion. Donghyuck will forgive him for his mistakes and for his carelessness. They'll make it to the bedroom - this time for sure, Donghyuck will love him back.

_But why doesn't it feel like that's how tonight will go?_

In the back of his mind, Seunghun knows something is terribly _wrong_.

Whatever they're doing right now, suddenly doesn't feel right and Seunghun knew he came to this realisation long before this very moment.

A very bad epiphany; a revelation that had no positive outcome for him at all.

Because as he sits here, in front of a pretty, tanned skin boy with a smile that could rival the sun; Seunghun realises that he's not who Donghyuck's expecting to see before him.

The latter doesn't need to say it explicitly. He doesn't need to make it obvious that he'd rather someone else with him other than Seunghun. And such a point is conveyed in such a painfully polite way, Seunghun couldn't help but wish Donghyuck would reject him harshly instead of leading him on with his kindness and empathy. He's not who Donghyuck wants and Seunghun almost wanted to demand Donghyuck to tell him just that. He wanted Donghyuck to yell at him and say that he wants someone else. Seunghun wants the words to be engraved in his mind so he knows that, really, he never did have a chance.

Despite not being as smart as others, Seunghun wasn't dumb.

He wasn't stupid, nor was he blind.

In fact, he could see something that no one else could see. Something that people simply dismissed as a mere _rivalry_.

It wasn't that.

Mark Lee and Lee Donghyuck weren't _that_.

And now that Seunghun had seen it with his own two eyes, he almost wants to laugh at how oblivious he had been towards their attraction for each other.

It was obvious all along, but _no one_ sees it. No one even wants to think about such a possibility, because that's just the kind of reputation the school's beloved student council president and vice had acquired.

How could they not see it? How did he take so long to see it himself?

That, beneath the spiteful words, the proclaims of mutual hatred, a constant rivalry to be number one and not a single aspect in their school lives wherein they lacked; amidst it all - they were _perfect_ for each other.

They _are_ perfect for each other.

Seunghun could see it now. 

The way Donghyuck would casually rummage through his locker, only to end up squealing when Mark would come in and smack a folder on his head with surprising gentleness. Seunghun knew Donghyuck wasn't hurt in any way, but the tanned boy liked to over-exaggerate his emotions and pawn for Mark's attention (something he noticed after a considerable amount of _observing_ ); he would pout his lip angrily and so, so cutely and Seunghun would catch the way Mark stiffened. It was so subtle, yet so obvious. 

The way the two would make their interactions so blatant and so dynamic in front of everyone, even though Seunghun knew better. They wanted to keep up their image in front of the student body, as if the feelings they had for each other were unwanted or somewhat one-sided. While everyone saw them as enemies who start arguments in the middle of the cafeteria, who tussle around with each other in the hallways, who insult and discourage each other when one does better than the other in an exam. 

Seunghun saw none of that.

God, they're both top business major students! Best of the best! Even a future together for them looked nothing but luxurious and stable.

Seunghun almost couldn't believe he never saw it before.

Now that he thinks back, confessing to Donghyuck was a bad decision. 

He should've listened to the warning bells in his head that rung the moment his eyes landed on Mark's figure behind Donghyuck's captivated one. Seunghun shouldn't have been quicker that night; he shouldn't have found Donghyuck first and presented him with an extravagant set of flowers that, when he thinks about it now, had no significant meaning behind their arrangement at all. He shouldn't have confessed his feelings that night. He shouldn't have kissed him that night and professed a promise that only _he_ had the intention of keeping. He shouldn't have basked in the way Mark dropped the bouquet of flowers and turned away. He shouldn't have felt that small tinge of pride at the thought of beating someone like Mark Lee in a game he didn't even know he was playing in. In the end, it was a meaningless victory that only caused his own downfall.

He shouldn't have done any of it, because after that night, everything became so blatantly obvious, but he had been so blinded by Donghyuck's elegance that he never delved into it.

It was Donghyuck's time and affection that he greedily kept for himself. His own desires leaving him absentminded to the fact that the latter's heart already belonged to someone else. And it was those very desires that led him to make stupid mistakes that only caused Donghyuck to gradually slip away from his grasp.

Making stupid mistakes that only encouraged Mark to step back into the picture.

It was honestly funny now that he thinks back.

The way Mark rushed to Donghyuck's side that time in the cafeteria, where two sports teams were clashing. Seunghun was his damn boyfriend, yet he couldn't say anything. He could do nothing but watch as another guy defended someone who was supposed to be _his_ to stand up for.

And the way he sprinted after football practise, apologies making form on his tongue as he rushed to the restaurant he was supposed to meet Donghyuck at for a date the latter had planned himself, only to stop short when he looked through the window, a splurge of unrighteous jealousy and anger consuming him when he saw Mark sitting opposite of Donghyuck as they engaged in what looked like a heated argument that could fool anyone from the outside.

_They were having fun._

They were having fun and Seunghun could only watch. At the time, he was jealous and felt betrayed and cheated on. But now, despite not entirely being in the wrong, he realised that this was how it was supposed to be.

Mark would always step in and sweep Donghyuck off his feet. Mark would always be at the forefront of Donghyuck's mind. Donghyuck would always be the one Mark would rush to if he was hurt. Donghyuck would always be the one Mark would let his guard down for.

Their stares linger and Seunghun just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that no one sees it.

Which is why he doesn't understand what they're doing right _now_.

 _Why_ is Donghyuck in front of him, clothes half-discarded, responding to all his advances as well as the last chance of redemption Seunghun had set up for himself?

Seunghun knew better. He considered this as the final card in his exhaustive deck of level one plays. 

He had intervened enough. He had gotten in the way too many times. There's no point in trying to push something that just won't _budge_. There's no point in wasting all that time and energy for something that'll only dissipate as waste into the surroundings. Donghyuck's heart will always belong to another and there's no room for someone like him.

"I-... I can't, Seunghunnie..." Donghyuck frowned, dropping his head in what looked like guilt and shame.

"D-do you not want to?" Seunghun stuttered, quietly wondering if the younger ever had plans on taking their relationship more seriously. He noticed the way the tanned boy in front of him desperately tried to cover himself and he couldn't help but frown, "It's ok... we don't have to right now. I will wait for you, let's take it slow."

"I don't know... if we could ever" Donghyuck treaded around his words carefully, wary of how they come across. "I-I mean, just... I don't know if I can do t-this with you-"

"It's Mark, isn't it?" Seunghun couldn't take it. There was a painful clenching in his chest that forced him to want the truth. He wanted the honest truth and he wanted to hear it from Donghyuck.

A bitter laugh escaped his lips when he noticed the wide-eyed look Donghyuck sent him. The latter's face suddenly paled and his usual tan complexity almost seemed non-existent. Like a deer caught in headlights - Donghyuck looked _scared_.

"It is. I can see it all over your face." Seunghun let out a defeated sigh, a sigh that forced him to relieve all the pent up frustration he could feel build up in every vein in his body.

"Seunghun... Seunghunnie, it's not like that- we're not-" 

"It's fine, you don't need to explain yourself." Seunghun stopped him from trying to pick up whatever remaining crumbs of their relationship they had left over, "The fact that you were so ready to decline it already says enough. I can't force you into a relationship when you're thinking of someone else. I can't ask you to feel the same way I feel about you, when your heart belongs to someone else."

"No! Mark's an idiot! He's an utter dickhead! He's mean and horrible and doesn't care about me and-"

"Yet you still love him." Donghyuck let out a pained cry at the words and the noise made every vessel in Seunghun's body constrict tightly. Is it worse to hear it from someone else? Does Donghyuck find it difficult to hear? "No matter what he says to you or... what he does to you, you'll always choose him over anyone else... over me."

"No I don't! Forget what I said! Let's do it, Seunghun!" Donghyuck tried to push himself on other boy, hands working up to take off his shirt, but Seunghun instantly stopped him, gently pushing the latter away; something he didn't think he'd ever end up doing now that he had Donghyuck so eager.

"There's no point. I don't want to be some sort of rebound or emotional fuck to get rid of your feelings. I waited to do it with you, I didn't want to rush you because, for some reason, somehow... I kinda always knew." Seunghun let his voice waver slightly. He didn't want to have this kind of conversation with Donghyuck. He didn't want Donghyuck to know about all the reasons why he and Mark were perfect for each other.

"W-what?" there were unshed tears forming at the corner of Donghyuck's eyes. He looked so painfully confused, Seunghun wondered if his next few words would hurt him any more.

"You have the entire school after you, Lee Donghyuck, yet all you want is him, you only have eyes for the president, don't you?" Seunghun forced the words out of his mouth, but they only felt like poison on his tongue.

"T-that's not true. I... I hate him." 

_You say that, yet you're the one going back to him for more, aren't you?_

"There's really no point in denying it right now." Seunghun let out another broken, humourless laugh. Is this what Minsoo found funny? These unexpected turn of events? His own, vile suffering? From the outside, this situation must be so entertaining. "I can see it- the tension between you two, the attraction, it's always there. I bet if I made a move on you in front of everyone, Mark would come rushing in to save you."

"Do you even hear yourself, Seunghun?! Mark would never do anything like that! Fuck- I could prove it to you right now!" Donghyuck declared, his voice leeching above a scream of frustration, "Wherever he is, wherever Mark is right now, take me there and kiss me in front of him and I swear on my life he won't give a single fuck! He doesn't care at all about me! He- he's never cared for me! He'll never feel anything towards me! He... he doesn't love me!!" Donghyuck broke down, sobbing his heart out, screaming and thrashing about in anger and resentment. His cries sound as if he'd been tortured for years. As if he had been locked away in a high tower with only his intense feelings to accompany him.. "Why... why doesn't he love me?"

Seunghun didn't know what to say. Only now has he realised how much trouble he's found himself in, how he voluntarily let himself fall into the drowning mess that is Lee Donghyuck and he doesn't even know how to save him. He can't bring him back up from under the deep waters and onto dry land; he doesn't even understand why he thought he could just walk back into Donghyuck's life and expect to be loved in the same way. To be loved the way Donghyuck was in love with Mark- and still is, clearly.

He doesn't know what to do, but at the same time, he also doesn't believe a single word Donghyuck was saying. If anything, for someone as smart and as talented as him, Donghyuck is an idiot. He's pathetic. He's saying things so carelessly without checking the facts. How can he say Mark doesn't care about him, when Seunghun had seen the president by Donghyuck's side under so many different circumstances? There have probably been more occasions where Mark has found himself wound up next to Donghyuck beyond Seunghun's knowledge. In fact, Seunghun knows that Mark and Donghyuck have spent more time together in the span of a day than Seunghun has spent with Donghyuck in the span of their entire relationship. 

_How pathetic, indeed._

Donghyuck collapsed from crying so much, exhaustion racking through his body and Seunghun could only sigh at the turn of events. The candle-lit dinner, the flowers, the music; he had set the mood so perfectly, only to find out that the boy he liked, doesn't actually like him the way he thought he did, which then led to a harrowing confrontation to prove just that.

"I can't do anything for you, Donghyuck-ah. I'm- I'm really sorry you've found yourself in this mess." he huffed out in utter defeat, gathering the tanned boy in his arms and walking out of his dorm room, preparing to take the boy back to his own dorm. He wants to do something. He wants to prove his inhibitions wrong and find a way around this. This doesn't have to be the end of things. Maybe they can work their way around it. Maybe if he tries a little harder- _what am I saying? Why am I so attached to a person I can't have?_ "I want to help you, Donghyuck, I really do... but I don't know whether I can."

"Then stop trying." 

Seunghun snapped his head up, barely having left his room, only to see the one person he didn't expect (or he didn't want) to see at all at this hour.

"M-Mark?" he muttered quietly, taking in the other boy's appearance. Mark stood in a ragged coat that looked as if he just threw it on in a hurry, and his hair was all messy and tousled up, bordering just getting out of bed and walking through a hurricane. Seunghun can't help but wonder if he rushed here after noticing the phone in the other's hand that still had an outgoing call left on the screen, "I-I mean, president!" he corrected himself. Out of all the times Mark Lee had glared at him judgementally, there is a newfound intensity in the looks he's shooting at him right now. Seunghun swore Mark has never looked at him like that. He swore he has never seen the student council president so angry before.

"Give him to me." Mark commanded, not giving any context to his words or any reason, he just held out his arms and gestured to Donghyuck's sleeping body.

"W-what? I was just going to take him back to his-" Seunghun tried to explain, hoping the other wouldn't misinterpret his actions. But Mark didn't care for an explanation.

"I said give him to me." he grumbled lowly, gritting his teeth as he glared at the other, enunciating every word to the point where Seunghun could feel the syllables against his skin.

"I can't." Seunghun stood his ground, still confused as to why the other looked so scary in that moment. He's never looked like this before. "That wouldn't be fair on Donghyuck-ssi, I can't just hand him over." it isn't fair. Even after everything, the remnants of Seunghun's affection for the boy in his arms lingered enough for him to disobey the student council president's orders. If Donghyuck was awake, a part of Seunghun assumed the latter wouldn't want to see Mark after everything he just confessed.

"Oh, I think you must be mistaken," Mark started suddenly and before anything more could be said, Seunghun felt the body in his arms being snatched away by force, "I wasn't _asking_."

Seunghun could only stare in confusion and worry as Mark walked off, noting how securely and carefully Mark treated Donghyuck as he carried the latter in his arms. He could only watch as Mark's figure disappeared with Donghyuck held protectively in his embrace.

Even after everything, he wasn't one bit surprised. He couldn't even bring himself to question just how Mark found them, or how the other knew what they were doing. He briefly wondered if the two planned this beforehand. That this was just some big scheme to mess with his feelings, only for him to come to the harsh realisation that he could just never _compare_.

Seunghun could never compare to the everything that was Mark Lee. He could never be as smart or as talented. He could never hold a person's affections for as long as the other had done. He could never have someone like Lee Donghyuck chase after him, because, even after the events of yet another failed evening, Seunghun realised that whatever Donghyuck felt for Mark was beyond anything he could explain with words. It wasn't a crush. It wasn't a long-term infatuation.

It was _love_.

Blatant, irreversible, true _love_.

When Mark's shadowy figure faded into the distance, Seunghun knew this was it. This is how it would end. His last card, left un-used on the battlefield and rendered worthless against the diamond-tier deck Mark had stashed in his pocket. All that Mark could give Donghyuck was all that Seunghun could never even dream of having.

Even as they disappeared from his line of sight, Seunghun could see trails of glistening _gold_.

Seunghun had been wrong this entire time and now, a part of him wished he was a little smarter, a little stronger, a little meaner, a little more stubborn, a little more independent, a little more confident, and a whole lot less like someone who didn't sign up to get his heart broken, but ended up doing so anyway.

Still, his heart squeezes painfully at the mere loss of something he's chased after wholeheartedly, only to fall short at the realisation which reminded him that what he wanted was something he just couldn't have. 

No matter how hard he tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well... uhhh... congratulations! you made it! you went through almost 15k words of an unforgiveable amount of angst and i'm sORRY FOR THAT! 
> 
> seunghun you tried :'(
> 
> hopefully, that explains where hyuck and seunghun are leaving things - this was their breakup, but i'll just make it more official at the start of next chapter :'D
> 
> progress? sneaky unreleased markhyuck moments that only seunghun had the pleasure of witnessing and therefore, decided to share with all of you guys! we also revealed what happened at new years eve with the 127 gang! a little more happened, but that will be revealed next chapter hehe~
> 
> we've already reached 35 chapters in this fic?!! omg... i really didn't expect for it to be THIS long but welp-
> 
> i hope you guys are liking it so far and my updating schedules aren't too catastrophic-  
> i also would like to thank everyone for commenting on this fic and for following me on twitter and just showing so much support in any way that you can!! i really, sincerely appreciate it and i genuinely don't think i deserve all of this love!!  
> but thank you all so so much!!  
> i really hope i continue to do well this fic until it finishes :D
> 
> thank you all so much!!
> 
> we have a short neo city corner here~  
> but NCT 127best album!!! neo zone getting the rec she DESERVESSS  
> 127 at the golden disc awards was so freaking FIRE!! they outsold on EVERY LEVEL!! as well as the cosmopolitan artist award bc nct 127 popular kings :'D
> 
> and NCT also received best album, which is just such an amazing start for nct this year!! i really can't wait for them to just swoop in and bag all the trophies because they DESERVE IT!!
> 
> we also got a few markhyuck moments from the red carpet and then that one iconic punch part ;-;  
> IT'S NOT MUCH BUT WE'LL TAKE IT.  
> actually... we've got quite a few markhyuck crumbs so far...  
> [insert markhyuck selca prayer circle]
> 
> anyway... the resonance tracks un-cut recordings are death to my ear drums... raw vocals AND BARE FACES?!?! ahshahsqehoisiwq thank you nct :')
> 
> okaaayyy! thank you again for all the support and love!! it means the world to me and i can't wait to hear what you guys think about this chapter, as well as this fic and my other upcoming works (maybe... if i'm good enough !) thank you again!
> 
> keep warm, keep safe and take care of yourself! be happy :)
> 
> thank you for reading!!
> 
> see you next update!
> 
> ~Risa <3
> 
> my twitter: https://twitter.com/xneojunx?s=09


	38. thirty six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! Trigger Warning: mentions of vomiting !! - it only happens once and it's very very brief... but just in case :)  
> ~  
> again another late update :D
> 
> sorry for taking so long ;-;
> 
> but i think this chapter is the one most people have been waiting for hehe~
> 
> please don't hate me for it I'M SORRY-
> 
> anyway... sorry for any grammatical errors
> 
> hope you like this chapter~!!

**me:**  
hey... can we talk?  
last night was a bit of a blur and i haven't said everything i wanted to say to you

 **me:**  
seunghun i'm so sorry... please can we talk?

 **hot football captain:**  
i think it's better this was, donghyuck-ah.  
there's really not much you have to tell me.  
you've made it pretty clear who you want to be with, and i respect that.

 **hot football captain:**  
but i will clear up a few things

 **hot football captain:**  
after that party we went to... i wasn't the one who took you back to your dorm.  
mark was. i just didn't want to tell you because i thought you'd go to him if you found out.  
but i guess, in the end, i really couldn't stop that from happening anyway.

 **hot football captain:**  
i still want to apologise for missing the date you planned for us  
but i figured you weren't that angry since i saw you and mark through the window.  
it's fair though... i don't blame you.

 **hot football captain:**  
i really do like you, donghyuck  
but i realised that this had always been one-sided.  
so its best if we leave things like this.

 **hot football captain:**  
if this is considered a break up... then lets break up, donghyuck.

Donghyuck could feel something sick swirling in his stomach. A heavy feeling weighing him down in his chest. A bleariness in his eyes as he read over the messages over and over again. He should feel relieved that he let someone as considerate and as kind as Seunghun free from the burden that was their relationship. He was using Seunghun the entire time, even when he didn't want to, even when he had no intention of ever making it seem that way. Breaking up meant Seunghun was free to find someone who truly loved him and truly appreciated all his efforts; not someone who took advantage of his time and kindness only for their own personal desires.

But still, a break-up is a break-up and it left a painful feeling surging in his chest at the fact that he just lost something great. In the end, he only had himself to blame for not predicting such turn of events sooner.

Because, even after this, he felt really bad. He felt like the worst person on the planet for hurting Seunghun. He felt stupid for not knowing that Seunghun had known about everything, that he had seen everything. And yet, he _still_ made an attempt to salvage their relationship.

Donghyuck knew he really didn't deserve someone like Seunghun, and it made him wonder if he'd ever deserve love, when love, in its simplest form, is just a word.

If he had ever felt confused about his feelings before, he's really fucking confused now, because while he was hurting Seunghun, Mark was there doing all these things when he knew he shouldn't. Mark knew he was with someone else, yet he was still there when things didn't go right. Mark did all these things, yet still cornered him against a wall and made him feel like shit at one point, but then happy and shy at another.

He doesn't want to think about it. Donghyuck didn't want to think about Mark when he just broke up with his boyfriend over fucking text.

But what was their left to do? Seunghun was a perfectly good, perfectly decent guy, and even though Donghyuck never felt anything for him, he regretted not ending things on a better note. He wanted to make it up to the other, to apologise properly and sincerely, to not be such a coward and hide from the other because he was too ashamed by his actions to confront Seunghun properly.

Seunghun knew about everything that was going on between him and Mark, yet he still _tried_.

His brain felt like a furnace and all his speculations were melting at the scorching heat produced by how fast his thoughts were running.

Out of everything going on, he wants to fix at least one thing in the crumbling mess that was his life right now.

"Heard you and that football captain broke up." was the first thing Mark said to break the silence between them in the near-empty student council room they were in one Monday morning.

Donghyuck felt his body stiffen at the reminder of the event he had spent all night and all morning thinking about. He ignored Mark completely and opted on not responding, deciding to pack up his stuff and take it to the library to work instead. He couldn't even bring himself to care if he was being dramatic or petty, because there's only so much of Mark's insensitivity he can handle all at once.

He heard a sigh and noticed a figure moving towards him in the corner of his eye.

"Donghyuck." Mark called out to him again, but the latter wouldn't respond. He could only watch as Donghyuck stood up and swerved past him to head for the door.

Like he's done many times before, Mark held Donghyuck back by grabbing his arm. Waiting only a few moments until Donghyuck spoke up.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Donghyuck started, sparing a glance at the hand on his wrist. "Why do you keep stopping me from leaving?"

In all honesty, Mark didn't have an answer to that. A part of him just moves on its own and the next thing he knew, Donghyuck is looking at him with tired eyes. He doesn't want to see Donghyuck leave knowing something is left unsettled between them. Maybe he'll tease Donghyuck more. Maybe he wants to make Donghyuck flustered. Maybe he wants to try to kiss the younger again and probably fail at doing so.

_Why do things have to change between them?_

"You're so confusing, Mark Lee." Donghyuck sighed, letting his head drop to look at the floor instead. "You're horrible to me one moment and then nice to me the next. I don't understand how you can keep this up, but I don't like it at all."

Mark forcefully swallowed a lump in his throat, feeling his words go dry as he let Donghyuck talk. For once, he just wanted to hear Donghyuck speak. He doesn't want them to shout or yell at each other. He doesn't want their conversations to be filled with misdirected insults. He doesn't want to keep this up any longer, only for things to be slowly revealed bit by bit every time they end up in this kind of situation. It's starting to get tedious.

Instead, he slowly backs them up until he has Donghyuck pressed up against the door. Mindlessly, he reaches down and twists the lock underneath the door handle, his eyes never detaching from Donghyuck's sunken face.

"Was this part of your plan? When I started dating him... did you plan to intervene this entire time?" Donghyuck's voice was barely above a whisper, but the quietness around them allowed Mark to pick up every word, "Taking me back from that party when I was drunk. Having dinner with me when I got stood up on a date. Carrying me to my dorm and leaving medicine for my headache on the table. And- and every time you tried to kiss me..."

Now that Mark hears it in actual words and not just as a recollection of events, he realises that he's been sub-consciously doing all these things while trying to convince himself that the only thing he feels for Donghyuck is want and lust.

"Is this... is this a game to you, Mark hyung?" Donghyuck suddenly asks him, a shallow tremor in his voice and Mark swears he's never heard the younger sound so confused and lost. "Are you playing with me?"

"So what?" Mark hates the feeling swirling in his gut. Everything he worked hard to prevent himself from feeling his entire life; it's all coming up to the surface now. This regret and guilt; he swore to himself that he'd never live such a life where he'd only regret his actions, or that he'd only feel guilt after everything he says. He doesn't want to live like that, but this current situation is forcing him to not feel anything else.

Donghyuck meets his eyes, there's a certain amount of solidarity swimming in his shaking pupils and Mark can't bring himself to enjoy the sight like he usually does, because Donghyuck looks so _sad_ and that's all Mark can think about.

"So what if I do those things?" Mark continued, trying to mask the sudden reluctance in his voice for something more uncaring, "If this is a game, then we're both playing, aren't we? It's not only me."

"You don't get it, do you? You're so fucking stupid. Holy shit- you're actually the dumbest person alive." Donghyuck let out a humourless laugh, not caring if Mark had now brought his arms up to trap him against the door.

"What makes you say that?" Mark questioned, not taking offence to the words even in the slightest.

"Nothing, nothing... its just sad how you don't realise how horrible you are." Donghyuck waved off, his voice dripping in sarcasm and mockery. "Tell me, how many hearts have you broken by doing this, Mark hyung? How many unfortunate souls have you managed to sleep with and then throw away after you've finished with them? I want to _know_ , hyung."

"Do you want to know because you think you're one of them?" Mark thinks they're definitely playing now. The climax of their little game seems to be fast approaching. This is where it gets entertaining, right?

Donghyuck stays silent and Mark takes the golden opportunity to finish whatever sick foreplay this is.

"Do I have your heart, Lee Donghyuck?" Mark already established the answer to this question long ago. So if Donghyuck tries to reject his assumption, he really won't be swayed. "Have I crushed whatever you feel for me by treating you badly? Have you lost interest now? Are you gonna cry? You want to shout at me? Get angry? Or maybe go find some other toy to mess with, huh?

Donghyuck's grip on the other's shoulders tighten, his nails digging into Mark's back with a raging intensity that he's sure it'll leave imprints on his skin.

_Mark is always the only who enjoys this._

"Even though its hard to believe, I actually felt bad for that football captain." Mark sighed, probably not feeling as bad as he says he did, "Seems that, in the end, he was just a tool for both of us. An excuse for you, and an opportunity for me."

Donghyuck manages to scrunch his eyebrows in confusion, albeit his reluctance to show any kind of response to Mark's words.

"Wasn't he an excuse for you? To forget whatever you had with me?" Mark asked, internally cooing at the soft gasp that left Donghyuck's lips, "Don't worry, it was fun for me, too. I liked the sneaking around we did. Running into each other when you were supposed to meet up with your boyfriend. All the hiding and knowing glances. Every time we'd look at each other when you were with him because you knew that, even if you were with someone else, _I_ was all of your firsts, Donghyuck. You can't forget that, no matter who you decide to play with. I've already told you this."

With all the strength left in his body, Donghyuck pushed Mark away and reversed their positions so he had the older pinned up against the door, his hands flat against the taller's chest and his eyes burning with so much disgust, it made his entire body shake.

"Great. So you knew." Donghyuck gritted, "Oh, hyung... you knew all along."

"What are you talking about?"

Mark just wants to make Donghyuck _admit_ it.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Donghyuck knows Mark is trying to make a fool out of him. Mark is horrible and mean and insensitive, and he knows things that Donghyuck didn't want him to ever find out. Things that he'd be ok dealing with once he figured himself out and moved on. But he hasn't done that yet, so Mark really did have the upper-hand here.

"Won't you remind me, _baby_?" Mark has always found the way Donghyuck's eyes widen in surprise interesting. His confusion and frustration has never stopped being fascinating for him, especially now.

"Don't fucking call me that, you jerk." Donghyuck pushed Mark against the door with a greater force, his eyes watering up even as he tried his best to hold back his tears. He wasn't going to cry in front of Mark. He's held it in for so, _so_ long. Mark doesn't deserve to see him cry.

"Why? I thought you'd like it..." Mark grinned mockingly, "don't you want to hear me call you that?"

_Mark definitely knows. Holy shit. Mark definitely knows about his feelings._

"I don't understand why you're doing this to me..." Donghyuck hated the way his voice cracked, the final ounce of his confidence drifting away like dust in the wind.

"Because I know you, Lee Donghyuck. I _know_ you." Mark stated so confidentially, Donghyuck could feel every word strike a nerve in his body. _He's always been a sucker for confidence._ "I bet you think pretty lowly of me. You probably think I only see you as some sort of fuck toy, my little cockslut and nothing more. If that's truly all you are to me, if that's the only way I see you... don't deny that you love it. You _love_ it. You love it when I use you and handle you. You love it when I mistreat you and show you no mercy. You love it 'cause you know I can hold back and lose control on you at the same time. You love how I'm not afraid to do whatever I want to you or say whatever I want to you. You love how I could show my hatred towards you with the way I fuck you... and you'll still come running back for more. You'll always come running back to me... and you _love_ that."

Donghyuck's body felt overstimulated just by the words alone.

It can't be true. It _can't_ the only reason to explain why Donghyuck has kept going for as long as he did.

But, somewhere at the back of his mind, Donghyuck must have loved everything Mark did to him, everything Mark said to him. All the tears he cried for Mark, all that anger, pain and frustration... he did it all willingly because he loved seeing Mark's reactions. He loved being curious and unsure about Mark's feelings, and he loved knowing exactly how Mark felt at the same time.

His love for Mark Lee is dangerous, just as he predicted.

"You love the way I hurt you." Mark raises a hand and rests it on Donghyuck's cheek, letting his thumb graze over the younger's bottom lip. It's only when he feels a drop of wetness against his knuckles does he lift Donghyuck's face up by his chin so they could look at each other properly. Mark watches as single tear drops fall from the younger's eyes and run down his cheeks and a his brain screams at him to wipe those tears away.

"You're the worst, Mark Lee." Donghyuck pushes away from the older, furiously wiping his tears with the back of his sleeve. "You know I did everything for you."

"I know." Mark couldn't disagree with the facts and he silently wonders if this is enough.

"And you know the kind of feelings I have for you." Donghyuck just wants to confirm things.

"I do." Mark could only nod.

"And everything you did for me was out of pity because, in the end, this is just a game to you, right?" Donghyuck asks again. He enquires questions he already knows the answers to.

'It wasn't out of pity.' Mark wants to tell him, but he thinks such a conclusion would probably be more fitting to explain for his actions.

"It's a game we're both very good at playing, Donghyuck." Mark reminds him instead. "We might want each other in different ways. But want is want, right?"

 _Forget them!_ Mark wants to yell at him. _Forget these feelings you have for me. Stop doing this to yourself!_

"After everything... did you not feel a thing for me?" Donghyuck doesn't know why he bothers asking now when he's pretty sure this very conversation will clear up everything between them and he'll be left with no reason to continue loving Mark. "When we were in bed together. When you trapped me against the wall. When I listened to everything you said, and every time we almost kissed. Did you feel anything? Do you not regret anything?"

 _Probably too much_ , Mark thinks, _I don't want any of this, though. I'll admit, your body is sin to me, Donghyuck, and your face is pretty. I like the way you scream and the way you moan. Isn't that what you want to hear?_

"The only thing I regret is stopping whatever we used to do." Mark shrugged, "But its bad to hold onto things. Unless, you're used to whoring around."

Donghyuck could feel a new wave of tears ready to gush down his cheeks again at how pathetic he is. Mark had only been after one thing this entire time and he didn't want to believe it up until now. Mark Lee, the man of everyone's wildest dreams, so smart and so handsome, yet all he is is a mindless, insensitive fuckboy.

"Fuck I really do hate you, Mark." he felt a sob rack his throat, knowing that, amidst all the love he felt for Mark, he truly did hate the older as well. "I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the way you treat me. I hate the way I chase after you..."

Donghyuck cries were bouncing off the walls of the room and the latter didn't even notice how Mark stepped closer towards him. His head felt like it was about to explode in a second and he couldn't deal with how fast his heart was bashing against his ribcage, threatening to jump out at any moment. For him, it was too much to deal with; the guilt of breaking up with someone you never had feelings for and then finding out the person you'd been in love with for so long, had only wanted you for your body and nothing else and who only wanted to mess with you and play around - Donghyuck felt sick.

"You're so horrible. You're the worst." he continued, endless rambling spilling from his lips and dissipating into the air.

Mark stepped closer.

"You have so many amazing people around you and you treat them all nicely, but you're so mean to _me_! You're so insensitive and-... and you're so _heartless_ , Mark Lee!"

Donghyuck was too busy trying to rub at his eyes, putting in a gracious attempt to clear out all the sadness rolling down his cheeks, that he didn't realise how close Mark was until a hand grabbed his jaw and brought his head up.

"You're the worst. You're so stupid. You're so cruel and shameless!" Donghyuck continued, his words growing louder in volume since their faces were so close together now. "You don't deserve a thing. You don't deserve my feelings. You're disgusting and a jerk and an asshole. I hate-"

Donghyuck thinks his soul has completely left his body. His eyes blow so wide, they'll probably pop out of their sockets in a second. There's a series of shivers running through his entire body, forcing all his internal systems to work twice as hard just so the nerves in his head are in tact so his brain keeps working, just so blood continues to circulate around his body so his heart keeps beating. His breath is stuck in his throat and yet he still wonders why he finds it so hard to _breathe_.

There's a twitch in his fingers, but Donghyuck can't feel life in his muscles no matter how hard he tries to maintain every process happening in his body.

He thinks time must've stopped and the world isn't turning anymore. 

He thinks the words making form in his head are all jumbling up like he never learnt how to speak.

He thinks the premises of every agreement he made with himself have been breached. Every boundary, every promise, every goal and every desire; it all forms and shatters right before him.

Donghyuck's mind goes haywire all because there's a pair of lips on his own and _fuck_.

_Mark Lee is kissing him._

Mark's lips are on his and Donghyuck has wished that the moment he had anticipated for so long had never come.

Not only does Donghyuck feel blood rush up to his head, he thinks he sees blood as well because, with one push, Donghyuck shoves Mark away and brings his hand up.

_SLAP!_

Donghyuck doesn't think he's ever cried this much since his family fell apart. The tears streaming down his face in respective waterfalls are uncontrollable and unwavering. He clamps a hand over his mouth, wondering is he's been poisoned by a pair of sweet lips he's wanted to be kissed by for so long.

He wants to slap Mark again, _harder_. The red bruise forming on the older's cheek becomes more apparent and Mark doesn't look up at him. Instead, he spits out blood and lets it stain the floor, but Donghyuck can't bring himself to feel bad.

With his restricted and blurry vision, he pushed past Mark and left, choked sobs ripping from his throat as he tries to keep his head down, feeling the multiple pairs of eyes chasing him as he ran down the long hallways. There are people whispering and mumbling under their breaths and Donghyuck can't pick up a word they're saying because the sound of his heart shattering into a million pieces is louder than bombs, so loud that Donghyuck could hear the cracking and crumbling in his ear drums. The sound of a heart breaking sounds scarily similar to how glass breaks - splinters of broken shards everywhere which attempted to force Donghyuck to tread carefully with every step he took, but Donghyuck didn't listen, because walking on broken glass isn't nearly as painful as the way his entire body numbs from heartbreak.

The feeling only sinks to his stomach and Donghyuck has to rush the final steps to his dorm room, hurriedly making his way to the bathroom and gratefully but barely making it to the toilet to throw up the little amount of food he managed to eat throughout the day.

The torture didn't seem to subside and even if Donghyuck managed to pass out on his bed, he knows the nightmare will paint itself in his sleep.

The sight of Donghyuck crying doesn't seem to erase itself from his mind and no amount of heavy denial can save Mark from the fact that he _fucked up_.

For the first time in his entire life, Mark knows he's seriously fucked up. He took it too far this time, he didn't step over, he _leaped_ over the boundary set between them.

His bleeding gums are proof of how badly Mark messed up to the point where it isn't redeemable anymore. The tingling sensation on his lips doesn't cease no matter how many times he brings his fingers up to trace over the lines on his lips. As imagined, Donghyuck's lips are soft and plush, and he tastes so _sweet_ , subtle strawberry chapstick to moisten the most perfect pair of heart-shaped lips Mark had ever seen, Mark had ever had the privilege of kissing - of _stealing_.

He could only stare at the door Donghyuck had ran out through with sudden despair, the sick feeling in his gut was only surging and Mark wanted nothing more than to run after Donghyuck and explain himself.

_What would he have to explain? Won't Donghyuck hate him now? Won't he forget the feelings he has? That's a good thing... right?_

But the thoughts weigh heavy on his mind and the silence around him is so, so suffocating, Mark has never hated the atmosphere surrounding him more than he does right now. He wasn't just teasing, that wasn't part of the game he repeatedly mentioned to the latter during the little confrontation they just had. 

Yet nothing has been resolved. The confliction between them will probably never stop at this rate and Mark knows that, really, he could only blame himself in the end. He didn't want Donghyuck to have feelings for him, he only wanted them to be civil and to get along so they didn't feel the need to argue and fight every time they were near each other. It makes everything twice as difficult when they're yelling and shouting, it hurts Mark's head when they insult each other with so much spite, and there's a painful feeling tugging in his chest when he knows Donghyuck is angry at him for one reason or another, _for so many reasons_. No part of this situation is enjoyable like Mark thought it would be and he can't bring himself to blame Donghyuck for having feelings because it was him who dealt with the situation badly. Even after it all, he doesn't understand why Donghyuck still likes him. Surely, wasn't this enough to tip him over the edge? Shouldn't he forget the feelings he has now?

Why can't things go back to the way they were? Because of this, Mark can't stare at Donghyuck peacefully anymore, he can't touch Donghyuck without feeling regret and guilt consuming him. He can't talk to Donghyuck without them arguing over the littlest of things.

It felt as if everything was spiralling out of control and Mark didn't know how to handle the whirling thoughts in his head. 

He knows he can't deal with such problems like he usually does: to drink them away and find someone to take his mind off things, because he _can't_ take his mind off things. He can't take his mind off _Donghyuck_ , and he doesn't know why. Why has Donghyuck been consuming all his thoughts for only him to suffer with? Why does seeing Donghyuck cry, tear up everything inside his body until he's nothing but a barren piece of flesh and bone.

The nauseating feeling breaching through different parts of his body doesn't cease and Mark can't just _not_ doing something about it like he usually would. He's been pushing these feelings down for so long, hoping that time will heal over and he'll simply leave behind everything once he graduates.

Maybe because a part of him thought that you can't run away from your problems if you don't have any in the first place. But such a mindset had only got him so far until his feelings caught up to him and now he has to face the aftermath.

The aftermath being that he made Donghyuck _cry_. He made Donghyuck cry and the prospect of doing something like that makes Mark feel as if he's committed a crime - a grave sin that shouldn't be forgiven no matter what.

_What should I do? What should I do?_

Something is hammering against his chest and the stinging sensation on his cheek doesn't seem to help. Instead, it acts as a constant reminder of what he could've had. A reminder of what he just let slip through his fingers.

_Again._

Nights aren't as cold as they were during winter, but Mark can still feel his limbs numb from the chill biting at them. He drags his feet across the concrete pavement and squints at the bright LED lights flashing above his head, the sign reading The Neo in fluorescent green lights. With lethargic movements, he pushed open the door and let his eyes accustom to the dimly-lit surroundings, taking advantage of the busy environment to get lost in the crowd of people without anyone paying him much attention.

"Mark! Over here!" a familiar voice calls out to him, causing Mark to turn around and spot a circular booth in the corner of the small but cosy vicinity.

As he drew closer, a weary smile made its way onto his lips, but even he couldn't feel the smile reaching up to his eyes. Before him were his beloved hyungs, who drove down from their university campus to meet him at a bar.

"Oh no... you don't look too good." Taeyong spoke up first, detaching himself from Jaehyun as he moved up to let Mark sit next to him.

"I don't feel too good either, if I'm being honest." Mark was certain his voice had never felt so hollow and lifeless before; the usual amount of confidence and surety is his tone just didn't seem to show through. He looked around once and took in everyone seated at the table, knowing it had been quite a while since he last saw them; but his interest towards catching up with the older boys didn't spark like it should. Mark couldn't seem to get his mind off the person who was the cause of his entire dilemma. "Where are the others?" he asked, trying to take his mind of things for at least a moment.

"Both Kun and Sicheng are working tonight, so they couldn't make it. And you know Taeil hyung is busy with his new job." Doyoung explained, "But they told me to tell you that they'll meet with you really soon and that they hope you're ok."  
Mark nodded at the explanation, grateful that he had supportive friends outside of college who he could talk to.

_Does he want to talk about this? Out of everyone here, he's the only one who's never had to deal with such problems. Won't this sound weird?_

"So... what is it?" Johnny started off, concerned that his younger brother looked even more down than when they last saw each other. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I don't like talking about these kind of things, and its going to sound really weird, and I don't know what to do-" Mark ended up rambling slightly.

"Mark just tell us." Yuta interrupted him, wanting to get to the point as soon as possible.

"-ok." Mark let out a bated breath, mustering up a stupid amount of courage just to admit his next few words. "It's about Donghyuck-"

"Finally!" Jungwoo let out a relieved sigh as he clasped his hands together, "You finally got your shit together! I was so disappointed when Johnny told us you two weren't actually dating. But now that-"

"Jungwoo, seriously." Taeyong stopped him with a glare before nudging his head in Mark's direction, making the slight younger notice that Mark wasn't in any way positively responding to what he was saying.

After a few moments of dreaded silence, Mark thought that there was really no way out of this now that he was here.

"We're not dating. I don't know why you guys keep assuming that when I haven't done anything to deserve it." Mark let out a sigh, picking up the glass of what looked like beer and chugging down half its contents.

"That's probably the most selfless thing I've heard you say when it comes to relationships." Ten admitted and the others could only nod in agreement. "What happened between you two? I was certain when we left after new years, you two would get together."

"No, we didn't. It probably got worse between us." Mark sighed, swirling the golden yellow liquid around in his glass, the motion hypnotising him enough to just be honest for once, "He got a boyfriend and we stopped fucking around. We started arguing more and fighting and I'm pretty certain he doesn't ever want to see me again now."

"Holy shit... that's a lot to take in." Jaehyun mumbled a curse, "Wait, start from the beginning... everything that happened after we left."

"Well, after new years, my mom told me about that stupid Winter Gala thing we go to every year with the governors of the city or some shit like that." Mark recalled the event like it only happened yesterday. _Does it resurface in his mind that much?_ "I asked Donghyuck to go with me because it was convenient and we talked and stuff and I proposed that we should be civil instead of fighting all the time."

"Ok, that's a good start at least." Doyoung encouraged, albeit wary of how his conversation would go.

"But a few weeks later, on valentines day... he gave me chocolate." maybe Mark never admitted it to Donghyuck that he did receive the chocolate the latter made for him, but he had reasons for that. "I only found out a few days ago that you helped him with that, Taeyong hyung. I didn't even know you guys thought we should get together."

"It's not like we thought about it randomly." Taeyong shrugged, "I mean, what we saw at our new years party was enough for us to assume you both liked each other. When Donghyuck asked for my help, I thought it was great you finally started showing proper interest in someone. But I'm guessing it's not entirely like that."

"I-... I don't know." Mark ran a hand through his hair, his usual tidiness completely ruined and unkept, "And what happened at that party? I swear Johnny hyung mentioned it the last time we talked..."

"I thought you didn't hear that." Johnny mumbled with some sort of regret. 

"Wait... what happened? You're making me worry now!" Mark tried to rack his brain to trigger any sort of memory from that night. But it all went by in a blur... he really couldn't remember much.

"You were really drunk, so I'm not surprised if you forgot." Yuta stated, as if he hadn't passed out and almost slept through the new year countdown himself.

"Just please tell me what happened." Mark didn't want to leave anything out. He wanted to sort his feelings and thoughts once and for all. It's starting to hurt from having to carry this burden around, and the fact that he made Donghyuck cry from it wouldn't leave his head.

He caught the way the older boys exchanged unsure glances, before Johnny took it upon himself to explain.

"Its kinda tragic that you forgot you pulled Donghyuck away for a new years kiss." he sighed, his tone evidently disappointed.

"I did _WHAT_?!" Mark practically spat, his voice pouring out in sheer disbelief.

"Yeah. It was literally two minutes till midnight and everyone was drunk, but you and Donghyuck were completely wasted." Ten explained, "Not surprised, though. You two did insist on having a drinking competition."

Mark felt a small tug on his lips at the words. That sounded like something they would do.

"We were all outside to light the fireworks in your backyard and you two were talking, I couldn't hear what you were talking about, but you guys looked like you were arguing, so I didn't care." Ten continued, "We were doing the countdown and five seconds in, we all saw you grab Donghyuck and kiss him."

Mark felt warmth surge throughout his entire body. Did that actually happen? What kind of demon possessed him that night to do something like that?

"Did he-... did he kiss back?" Mark asked, unknowingly surprising the older boys with how quiet his voice was. 

"Dude, you two literally got into a full-blown make out session." Yuta joked, a gracious attempt to lighten the mood. "How could you forget? Especially when you got so possessive over him when that kid from your school came to pick Donghyuck up."

Ok, Mark vaguely remembers that. An image of a drunk Donghyuck clinging onto his side as he tried to shoo Kim Seunghun away that night does surface in his memory. At least he wasn't too drunk for that.

"Fuck... I'm so confused. He didn't push me away that night, but he's pushing me away now." he mumbled.

"What do you mean?" Jaehyun raised a brow.

"He broke up with his boyfriend yesterday and then we kinda had a confrontation this morning." Mark grimaced at the memory of how badly they left things. Its gotten to the point where the image of Donghyuck crying had imprinted in his mind and there was nothing he could do but feel an immeasurable amount of guilt consume him. "He was rambling and crying and I said things to him that I should've have said. But he looked pretty and his cheeks were all red and I had been thinking about it for so long and I just-... I just kissed him."

There was a heavy silence and Mark took that as a sign to continue without stopping.

"He pushed me away and slapped me and then ran out. I didn't see him for the rest of the day and I don't know whether to call him or text him or-"

"Mark, stop." Taeyong instructed, already feeling the anxiety roll of the younger boy in waves of confusion, "You're going about this all wrong. You said you don't see him in that way, but you've said and done things to him that say otherwise. Mark, seriously... how do you feel when you think about Donghyuck? What do you want to say to him when you see him? Do you _actually_ hate him?"

"We've been enemies for so long, it feels weird to be anything else." Mark barely croaked out his words, "I mean... why does he like me? I only use him and play with him. I don't want to have feelings for him. I thought that he'd just go back to hating me if I messed around with him. Teasing him is fun and I like the reactions he gives me. I like that he'll always come back to me. I like that he tries to resist me but ends up giving in. Before, if I made him sad, I didn't care that much because I just assumed he would do the same to me. But when we broke off our fuckbuddy arrangement, I thought he was serious about how he felt towards me and, suddenly, seeing him cry was probably worse than getting stabbed. He's always so dramatic, I think it rubbed off on me... but I can't help it. Then he got a boyfriend and I swear I'd never felt so angry before. He resisted me and he didn't give in and barely spent time in the student council room and we never really got to see each other. I _hated_ that. I hated not seeing him as much as I used to. So I kept running into him and interfering, maybe not as sub-consciously as I said I did. Maybe all those times I ran into Donghyuck before, maybe it wasn't just a coincidence. I think I was trying to look for him, I just ended up wanting to know where he was or what he was doing. Have I always been like that? Doing stupid shit like giving him my jacket, or my scarf, or not pushing him away when he touches me. Or putting up with how much time we spend arguing and fighting."

"I don't understand what I'm doing. I got annoyed every time I saw him with his boyfriend and I wanted things between us to go back to how it was. So I tried cornering him and forcing him to revert his affections back to me. I wanted him to look at me and blush when I say something to him that makes him flustered. I wanted to make him shy and I wanted to hold all his attention. That asshole boyfriend of his didn't even deserve Donghyuck. Donghyuck's way too good for him and even if I'd never tell him that, they didn't suit each other at all. I knew Donghyuck better than he did. We like the same music, we share the same interests, we're both at the top of the ranks, we both have the same dreams and we both know how to get there. Surely, Donghyuck has higher standards. He must have better taste, he shouldn't-"

"You're not considering Donghyuck at all."

Mark felt his breath halt in his throat with how sharply and abruptly he had been cut off. He didn't even realise how he had practically spat out all the thoughts running in his head until it came out as a jumble of unwired and unhinged ramblings. He looked up and faced Johnny properly, startled by the strictness of his words.

"Mark, don't you think you're being a bit selfish?" the older asked, a clearly rhetorical question that didn't require an answer. "Everything you just said, everything you just felt - that was all _you_ , Mark. Probably the _realest_ kind of you you've ever been. Have you ever thought that Donghyuck didn't like playing around with you like you did? Maybe he wanted something serious?"

"Also, you're not allowed to decide who Donghyuck can date. Even if you don't think they deserve him, or if you don't think they're right for each other; if Donghyuck wants to be happy, then _he'll_ make the decisions so he can achieve that." Ten added in. "Honestly, he's asked us for help on multiple occasions and, now, I kinda wish I told him not to try so hard with you. He did things he wasn't comfortable with, or new things he thought you would like. He also wanted your attention and he wanted you to notice him as someone besides your enemy. You have to understand that the moment he realised you would never see him as anything else, he'll try to move on from whatever feelings he has for you."

"Honestly, it was really horrible of you to continue treating Donghyuck like that if you knew he had feelings for you." Johnny let out a disappointed sigh, giving his younger brother a weary look, "We're not saying this to blame you, but you do know your actions have concequences. Donghyuck won't endure everything you do to him just on the basis of the feelings he has for you. He's still a person who's allowed to change his mind and make decisions."

"But what if those decisions don't include me?" Mark found himself murmuring, his clogged up throat only filling up with more bile, blocking the airflow to his lungs completely.

"Then you have to deal with it." Jaehyun answered, "He had every right to slap you while you had no right to be jealous because of his boyfriend. Trust me, interfering in someone else's relationship just because you were jealous, is the worst way to go."

A thick and heavy silence follows after and Mark has to take a good few minutes just to comprehend everything being thrown at him. He knew he was in the wrong, but he didn't realise he had been that inconsiderate about Donghyuck's feelings. _'Maybe I'm just a bigger jerk than I thought'._

"Mark... say something." Doyoung asked him gently, probably as gentle as someone like him could get in a situation like this, "You've been keeping this to yourself for way too long. If you talked to someone about it, you probably wouldn't have said the things you said to him."

"Y-you don't understand. I said some really bad things to him." Mark's own voice cracked like he never experienced an ounce of confidence in his entire life. "I made him cry and he-... he has every right to hate me right now."

"If only you knew just how bad a heartbreak is, Mark." Taeyong frowned at how devastated Mark looked, "If he's this upset, if he slapped you and if he cried... then maybe he still has feelings for you. He just cares too much that he didn't know what to do when you practically rejected him before he even had the chance to confess."

Time goes by quickly, so much so that Mark hadn't noticed it had taken up almost an hour to just talk about his feelings and let the spur out until the tension in his shoulders lessened. A whole _hour_. _Or was it longer than that? It seemed when Donghyuck was on his mind, the concept of time was almost non-existent._

After everything said, Mark knew that only he could really be at fault in this situation, and he knew he cared enough to try and fix the mistakes he made. It didn't make sense to him why he spent so much time convincing himself that he didn't care because, clearly, he does cares - he cares so much.

"I don't want to drop a bomb on you or anything... but doesn't it sound like you have feelings for Donghyuck?" Yuta casually asked.

"I know I have feelings for him. Lucas already told me that." Mark reaffirmed, "But it's just some sick obsession I have for making Donghyuck want me and me only, and all I'm chasing after is his body because no one makes me feel like he does."

"Ok yeah, that is a sick obsession." Jungwoo stated. "But you can be in love and be obsessed at the same time, right?"

"No, you can't." Taeyong quickly shot done such an idea, as if it was too ridiculous to even think about. He looked at Mark with judgemental eyes, ones that made the younger gulp loudly, "For a person who's so adamant on refusing anything related to love... you sound pretty in love to me, Mark."

Mark could feel his words die on the tip of his tongue. He swiped a tongue over his bottom lip in attempt to moisten the sudden dryness he could feel. The alcohol was burning his throat, but it wasn't enough, so he quickly grabbed his glass and chugged down every remaining droplet left, before slamming the glass on the table and signalling the bartender to get him another one.

"Don't ignore me, Mark. You're not getting drunk tonight." Taeyong scolded him, "Not yet at least."

"What's there left to say?" Mark grumbled, sinking back into the cushioned chair, "We've already established that I'm a massive asshole and I need to say sorry to him. Fuck... I really need to apologise."

"Yeah, it would be nice if you swallowed up your pride for once and did that." Ten agreed, "Now what about you? What do _you_ feel for him?"

"What do you want me to say?!" Mark practically yelled before slamming his hands on the table in frustration. _It must be the alcohol._ "Should I tell you that I think Donghyuck's the prettiest boy I've ever laid eyes on? At that gala we went to together, should I tell you how he put everyone there to shame? He stood out the entire night and he never even noticed! God, he's so beautiful, he has the prettiest eyes. They're all hazel and big and innocent. His skin glows like gold and I'm certain he's finer than any jewel out there. He also has the prettiest lips. They're heart-shaped and soft and I can't believe I held myself back from kissing him for so long. How the fuck did I resist him for so fucking long?!! Every time I got him in bed with me, he looks so tempting and so stunning that I can't hold back. Even when he cries, he looks so fucking gorgeous. It's different when we're in bed together; because I know that when he cries, he cries because I make him feel _good_. B-but when he cried today, I knew that I fucked up really badly. There was a really bad feeling in my chest, I think my heart was doing something weird... and I hated it. I hated seeing him cry more than I hated seeing him when he was with someone else. I hate seeing him stress about his family, I hate seeing him worry over his friends, I hate seeing how much he cares about everyone else but himself. I hate it when he says he feels cold, I hate it when he says he feels scared or confused. I hate it when he isn't happy like he should be - like he _deserves_ to be. I hate that its taken me so long to realise that I've been making Donghyuck feel miserable for such a long time, that I've used up all the time he gave me and now he doesn't want to see me anymore."

The burden is so, so tight in his chest and it feels like there are millions of voices screaming at him to stop being so stupid and fix everything straight away.

But _how_? How does he fix it?

"I hate that he affects me so much and I hate that everyone thinks I have my life under control just because I'm student council president. It's like I'm not supposed to have worries if I have titles pinned onto my name like I'm some kind of corkboard. But I do worry, and I do slip up, and I do make mistakes... and I think the biggest mistake I made is letting someone like Donghyuck go when he's probably the most prominent person in my life right now."

Mark doesn't entirely understand why he thinks he's suddenly capable enough to spit out wax poetry when he didn't even think he deserved the right to talk about someone like Donghyuck like that, but the tension in his chest eases enough for him to breathe better. Maybe talking about it instead of resorting to self-counselling was the right solution after all.

"... you're a romantic piece of shit, you know that right?" Yuta's laugh interrupted the silence that happened to loom over them when Mark finished his lengthy speech, "Honestly, I stopped listening when you started going on about his eyes..."

Doyoung reached over the table and smacked Yuta on the head, earning a loud yelp from the latter and the sight must've been enough to erupt a laughter from the others, even Mark let a small, drunken laugh escape past his lips.

"I think its great you realised how you feel about him, Mark." Johnny assured, proud that the younger had came to such a big realisation somewhat on his own. "And you should know that, just because you have responsibilities, that doesn't mean you don't have problems. I think you know and Donghyuck know that better than anyone. I heard you get a lot of work for student council."

"We do." Mark gulped down yet another glass of beer, trying to hydrate his parched throat from his excessive rambling.

"Which reminds me..." Doyoung started off, "why do you give him so much work, you moron?! I'm glad that you regret what you did, but he's still my baby cousin! I'm not letting you down that easily!!" maybe unknowing to everyone else, Doyoung would decide to treat this lightly. Everything Mark had just said was about someone really important to him, everything Mark did was to someone he cared about. Donghyuck is like a brother to him and to hear the way someone mistreated him, fuelled an anger in his chest that he didn't want to deal with. Even if Mark did some bad things, the way he truly feels about his cousin might be enough to make up for it. If Mark is sincere and honest, then he'll trust Donghyuck to deal with it. They're both grown-ups - it will be _ok_.

"The amount of work I give to him is barley half the amount I have myself, you know!" Mark argued.

"Then why don't you tell him that and explain instead of getting into a fight over it?" Doyoung refrained himself from pinching his eyebrows in frustration when he recalled the countless amount of calls he had to endure hearing Donghyuck complain about workload whilst simultaneously talking about how he likes Mark. _These two are the dumbest idiots alive._

"I don't want to give him more work. He already has enough going on." Mark shrugged, falling forward until his arms were sprawled out across the table. He picks at the splinters on the wooden table and waits a few moments before quietly breathing out, "How are you guys so ok with this? I've been so horrible to him. I'm a really bad person."

"You're not a bad person. You were just confused." Ten reassured him, "Besides, now that you know you don't hate him like you always say you do and you're clearly whipped for him... you can fix things!" 

Mark can't even bring himself to deny it anymore like he usually would - he probably is whipped. But it does make him curious.

"Does that mean I'm... _you know_... I'm in love with him?" he asked, like a child who didn't know what love was.

"You tell us, man." Jaehyun laughed, throwing an arm over Taeyong's shoulder and pulling the latter closer towards him. "It would seriously suck if we had to sit through you babbling on about Hyuck's eyes and his lips and how you get jealous when he's with other people, only for you to say that you don't think of him in a romantic sense."

"If you deny any of that, I will disown you." Johnny shot him a stern look, one that conveyed just how serious he was.

"I mean, you don't own me or anythi-" 

"MARK!" Johnny punched his arm, cutting the latter's words off instantly with a groan.

"Ok, I get it, I get it." Mark glared at his older brother before turning to face the others again, "On what basis do I have to be on to be in love? And what do I do if I don't want to be in love?"

"I already told you that you can't control who you fall in love with." Johnny reminded him with a sigh, "If that was the case, I'm pretty sure Donghyuck would've decided not to have feelings for you a long time ago."

Mark didn't like the sound of that.

"Do you want to take him on cute dates?" Jungwoo asked helpfully.

Mark thought back to the dinner they shared a few nights ago. Having someone like Donghyuck sit opposite of you and engage in a conversation, and laugh with you was nice. It was a really nice feeling and Mark has to admit that he underestimated just how amazing dates are when you're with a person you _like_. 

_Dates with Donghyuck don't sound too bad._

"Oh! Do you want to hold his hand and kiss him in front of people?" Ten fired another question, "You know... public display of affection and all."

Admittedly, at first, Mark hated the idea of people making it obvious that they were in love by being intimate in front of other people, especially strangers. But now that he thinks about it, now that he's got Donghyuck on his mind, he wonders if kissing the person you like in front of a room of people is as exhilarating as it sounds. If he did that, then maybe people would stop chasing after Donghyuck like annoying mosquitos.

"And imagine Donghyuck coming to support you at your basketball games!" Taeyong added, "That would be really fucking cute, if you ask me."

A dreary smile graced Mark's lips as he thought about the possibility of Donghyuck coming to his games with the intention of showing his support. His smile was quickly replaced with a frown when he remembered how Donghyuck would watch his basketball practises, using the same lame excuse of 'needing to do homework'. Mark secretly liked the fact that Donghyuck watched him practise; it made him train extra hard just so he could show off every now and then when he noticed the latter looking his way. Really, the only reason why he told Donghyuck to stop coming to watch practise was because all his teammates get distracted by him and become clumsier and more stupid. He didn't want Donghyuck to see him as a captain for a team of horny losers. That would be pathetic.

"Besides all that sappy shit..." Yuta started, "you'll get to fuck whenever you want. Isn't that great?"

"Yuta, you ruined the moment." Taeyong deadpanned, both he and Doyoung looked severely unimpressed, but Jaehyun just high-fived him with a proud grin.

"Anyway, yeah... you'll get to do all those things." Johnny rounded it up, "You'll get to hold his hand and kiss him when you want and call him grossly cute pet names, because Ten told me he likes that kind of thing."

"He did?" Mark raised his head at the suddenly interesting piece of information. "I-I mean... yeah, of course he does. That's... cute or whatever..."

"Denial is such a bad colour on you." Ten sighed. "I thought we were passed this."

"OK! Point being..." Johnny quickly got back to the purpose of their entire conversation, "you've got a lot to make up for, Mark."

"I want to apologise, to the point where I will literally beg for his forgiveness." Mark admitted surely. His words determined, but his voice wavering with guilt, the mass amount of guilt he didn't even know a person was capable of feeling. Because now, as he recalled everything that happened between him and Donghyuck, only now does he realise just how much Donghyuck did for him.

Donghyuck's feelings alone were so raw and genuine. Donghyuck always tries so, so hard and Mark can do nothing but melt at how precious the younger can be when he's not angry and bratty. 

_Your affections are being wasted on someone like me, Donghyuck-ah._

"But I do." he confessed, "I think I do want all those things with him. I think I do want to hold him and kiss him in front of people. I want to spoil him with attention and get him nice gifts in return for the things he's done for me." He's wanted this before. Mark knows for a fact that he's wanted this before. "I think, a part of me has always wanted to know how it feels to call Donghyuck _mine_ anyway."

"For fucks sake, Mark!" everyone was startled when Doyoung growled loudly at the said boy, glaring dangerous daggers at the younger who instantly shuddered from the intimidating gaze, "I thought I could just let this go so you two could handle it since you're both grown-ups, but this is my little _cousin_ , we're talking about here, Mark Lee. Not just some random person you know from school."

Mark visibly gulped, but couldn't say anything to defend himself.

"It's not that I don't trust you. You both mean a lot to me." Doyoung sighed in attempt to calm down a little, "But I've listened to Donghyuck rant about how much he likes you. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to interfere but, after hearing all of this, I'm honestly losing faith that you'll turn this around, Mark. I just... I don't want him to get hurt."

Mark honestly expected the older to be even angrier with him. He supposed Doyoung had a sort of soft spot for him as well, one that was preventing the older from strangling him for hurting his younger cousin. He couldn't blame Doyoung for being angry or for losing trust - if Mark was in his position, he'd probably feel the same way.

"I-... I get it, hyung. I really do. I can't deny that the things I've done have hurt Donghyuck, and I regret everything I said and did to make him feel like that. But if I don't fix things now, he'll hate me forever and I'll never get the chance to redeem myself." Mark thinks that there's a lot that could go badly in his life, but Donghyuck not wanting anything to do with him has sneakily made its way to the top of that list, "I don't deserve a second chance, but I still want to apologise to him at least. I want him to know that I regret everything and, if he'll let me, I want to start over."

Doyoung looks at Mark sceptically before averting his gaze. He couldn't give a coherent response, but Mark takes it as a sign of approval, with an underlying warning that, if he even thinks about hurting Donghyuck again, Mark Lee is done for.

To Mark, playing with Donghyuck has long-lost its humour. He wants to fix things between them, and maybe even sort out whatever feelings he has for the younger.

The kind of feelings that leaves his chest bursting with warmth.

Finding Donghyuck, as Mark had concluded, is really fucking hard.

They used to run into each other all the time, even when they didn't want to - but now, Mark couldn't find the latter anywhere.

Even in the cafeteria, aka the legendary battle arena where his and Donghyuck's disputes take place, was deprived off the lively sunshine Donghyuck usually brings whenever he enters the room. He spends his entire lunch period scanning his eyes around the cafeteria, occasionally switching between staring at the door and staring at the empty table Donghyuck and his friends usually sit at, all while ignoring the questions Lucas, Xiaojun and Hendery were firing at him.

" _Maaarrkkk_... why are you not listening to _meeee_ ~?" Hendery was pulling at said boy's arm, whining and wailing like a child.

"You've been staring at the door for a while and I'm starting to get concerned." Xiaojun stated. "Are you looking for someone?"

Mark sighs before finally detaching his eyes from the door, figuring Donghyuck won't be showing up any time soon. 

"No..." he shook his head in disappointment. "football practise is on right now, isn't it?"

"Yeah? Why?" Lucas looked at him and Mark missed the way Lucas didn't look all that happy. But then again, he hadn't been able to think about anyone other than Donghyuck lately.

"I need to do something." Mark informs the other three before throwing the spare pieces of his lunch in his bag and getting up.

"Aw man, you're always disappearing on us like this." Hendery frowned, "Spend some time with your best friends once in a while!" 

"Sorry guys, I'll make it up to you." Mark shoots them a sheepish smile before speed-walking to the door.

"Is it just me, or is there a different aura around Mark?" Xiaojun wondered, throwing the question out openly.

"I love you, babe, but your witch-talk is seriously scary." Hendery replies, earning a sharp glare from the other. 

"But I get what you're saying." Lucas ended up agreeing, earning confused looks from the other two, "I just hope he figures himself out quickly."

Hendery and Xiaojun exchange confused glances before looking at the older expectantly, waiting from an explanation. Lucas waved it off and pretends the arguments he's been having with Renjun about their respective best friends doesn't hurt him inside.

He knows Mark better than anyone, they're best friends after all. So he trusts the other to sort things out and ensure everything will go back to the way it was.

Seeing Mark Lee, captain of the basketball team, cross the pitch to where the football team was taking a break from practise, was a sight worth seeing. His presence alone, along with his confident strides, was enough to capture everyone's attention; some more unwanted than not.

"Ahh... president Mark!" Mark gritted his teeth when Minsoo spoke up first with a prideful grin on his lips, "To what do we owe the pleasure of being graced by your presence?" his tone was mocking and Mark could hear a chorus of sniggering from behind him, to which he could only roll his eyes at.

"I need to speak with one of your teammates..." Mark stated, "Lee Jeno."

Jeno perked up at the sound of his name, his initial reluctance to make eye contact with the older intensifying once he realised Mark wanted to see him.

"I'm afraid we can't let you do that." Minsoo sighed with a suspiciously fake smile, "You'll need to book an appointment."

"I don't have time for games, Choi." Mark crossed his arms, evidently unimpressed, "And, last time I checked, I'm pretty sure the captain makes the decisions around here."

"Ah yes, our captain." Minsoo turned to face Seunghun, who hadn't looked up the entire time Mark stepped foot on the pitch. "You made quite the fool out of him, didn't you, president?"

For someone known to be Seunghun's friend, Mark was surprised by how harsh and careless he was being with his words. But it wasn't his business to explore and Mark really didn't have time to waste.

"If you have a problem with me, then deal with it on your own. Don't drag other people into this." he snarled.

"Funny. Didn't vice president Donghyuck say something similar?" Minsoo placed a finger on his chin, as if he was actually deep in thought, "You two are really alike. _Perfect for each other_." he whispered the last part to ensure only Mark heard.

Mark clenched his fist tightly, his blood curdling to the point where he could feel his ears go red. Anger rushed through his veins and he wanted nothing more than to punch away that cocky smirk on Minsoo's lips. _'The way this bastard thinks he can provoke me'._

"Lay off, Minsoo." Jeno's voice interrupted Mark's suddenly bloody thoughts, catching the basketball captain's attention instantly as he watched the slight younger send Minsoo a glare and walk over to him. "What is it, Mark hyung?"

Mark could vaguely hear Minsoo scoffing under his breath about the way Jeno addressed, muttering something on the lines of, "since when did you two get so chummy?". Mark ignored that and pulled Jeno aside, wanting to be far away from the football team as possible.

"Have you seen Donghyuck recently? I've been looking for him everywhere and I can't find him." Mark started, "I've checked his attendance and he's been registered by his teachers, but I haven't seen him around school."

Mark caught the way Jeno froze for a brief moment before letting out a hesitant sigh.

"Hyuck... he's really upset, hyung." Jeno admits, as if its something he's been sworn not to say.

Mark felt his eyes widen at the words. Does Jeno know what happened? He must know. Of course he knows, he's one of Donghyuck's closest friends.

"Jeno-ah..." 

"Hyung, I like you a lot and I really wish we could spend more time together." Jeno admits, "I look up to you as a sports representative and I even thought about taking up your offer for basketball try-outs. I thought the stupid rivalry between you and Hyuck was just some game that would eventually end and you two would become friends, but he was really hurt by what you said, hyung. He didn't want to go to class, he wouldn't eat and he hasn't been able to sleep properly without someone physically being there in bed with him."

Mark felt every previous ounce of courage to confront Donghyuck dwindle into a cease of existence. He knew he made Donghyuck upset, but he clearly underestimated just how badly he fucked up.

Taeyong's words were circling in his mind and Mark thought his entire situation was utterly hopeless.

Because, really, he didn't know how bad a heartbreak could get.

Not until he heard just how much Donghyuck was suffering because of him. He hated the amount of guilt that consumed him. He hates that he can feel frustration stinging at his eyes. He hates that he wants nothing more than to find Donghyuck now and _hug_ him. He wants to take care of the younger, apologise over and over again until his sorry's are worth every syllable and Donghyuck will forgive him. He wants to see Donghyuck. He wants to see Donghyuck so badly that its eating him _alive_.

"Jeno, _please_ , I really need to see him." Mark was ready to beg at this point. He was ready to face the wrath of Donghyuck's friends because he knew how protective they could get. Jeno was probably going easy on him since they managed to form a friendship of a sort a while ago. But he knows that, inside, Jeno must hate him.

Jeno eyes him considerately, glancing over the older's face to see if he could find anything that could possibly indicate something insincere. 

But all he saw was _desperation_.

Mark was truly desperate to see Donghyuck, and it was smeared in red ink all over his face.

"He said he doesn't want to see you or face the possibility of running into you, so we've been helping him hide from you for a couple of days." Jeno confessed, "His economics teacher isn't in tomorrow, but he said he wants to go to the library to study. I-... if you can catch him then..."

"Thank you." Mark quickly filled up the reluctant gaps in Jeno's sentences, figuring the younger was starting to feel guilty for revealing such information. He knew Mr Kim wouldn't be in tomorrow, but the added piece of information about Donghyuck wanting to go to the library was greatly helpful.

"Don't make me regret it, hyung." Jeno sighed, "As much as I respect you, Hyuck's my best friend and I don't know what I'll do if you hurt him."

"I know, Jeno-ah, and I'm sorry for taking so long." Mark thinks that he's been more oblivious than he thought. But he can't wrack over his stupidity any longer when his mind suddenly fills to the brim with the idea of Donghyuck not taking care of himself properly.

"It's not me you should be apologising to." Jeno sighed again, lifting a hand up pat Mark's shoulder a couple of times, before turning around, "I've gotta get back to practise. Good luck, hyung."

Mark nods and watches as Jeno runs back to his teammates.

His mind is buzzing with thoughts of Donghyuck and he briefly wonders how many times its been like that. Lee Donghyuck has made home in his mind before... this is nothing new. But, at the same time. the feeling is indescribable and he's certain he's never wanted to see a person more in his entire life.

When he leaves, he misses the nasty glare thrown his way.

Mark loitered around in the hallway (something he told other students off for doing, but he had special privileges). He tried to make it seem like he was reading something on a notice board; suddenly interested in a poster highlighting the Summer Festival coming up in a couple of months; acting as a source of motivation for students to do well in their exams for the reward upcoming.

He lingered outside the library, consciously sneaking glances at the double doors and observing everyone who came out and went in. A part of him felt dumb for looking so obvious, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His heart was clenching painfully once again and there was nothing on his mind besides seeing Donghyuck and setting things straight.

The familiar sound of a bell, indicating the switchover of classes, rung loudly, letting the hallways flood with stressfully rushing students. Mark scanned his eyes over the masses of faces he never bothered to familiarise himself with. There was only one person he wanted to see, so everyone else didn't matter anyway.

It must have been the trick of the light, but Mark caught a mop of caramel brown hair weaving through the crowd. Hurriedly, Mark excused himself past a multitude of people, his eyes never leaving the tuft of fluffy hair that bounced with every step they went. He sees the mop of hair grow closer towards him and Mark thinks he's almost lost it in the crowd when he increases the pace in his walk just to catch up to the person with bronze highlights. It was hectic wherever he looked and Mark hadn't been looking where he was going since, soon, a force crashed against his chest and sent him toppling onto the floor, a lean figure crashing onto him. Stacks of papers flew everywhere, multi-coloured sheets and flyers scattered all over the hallway floor like confetti that would come out of a piñata.

All of a sudden, everything fell deadly silent.

Mark let out a pained groan, hearing the person half-on top of him do the same. He was certain the students in the hallway had cleared out to the side, all bearing witness of the scene before them.

"Sorry-"

"I'm sorry-"

Mark snapped his eyes open and looked at the boy in front of him, the other's soft voice melting in his ears.

"Donghyuck..." he mumbled, almost oblivious to the way the latter's body was still pressed up against his. The realisation must've came too slowly, because Mark could feel a heat crawl up his cheeks at the familiarity of the feeling. He's so used to having Donghyuck so close to him that the feeling brings about a new burning sensation every time they touch.

It's been a few days since they've seen each other and Mark takes his time running his eyes over the latter's face, watching in disdain when Donghyuck instantly breaks eye contact and pushed himself away from him, rapidly collecting the sheets of paper, not even caring if some were crumbling and tearing under the force of his grip. Mark tried to help, shifting to balance himself on his knees and reach out to pick up the sheets, pointedly ignoring the whispering and muttering he could hear from all around them.

 _Was now his chance?_ Could he finally tell Donghyuck what he'd been meaning to say for a while?

"Donghyuck, I-"

Donghyuck's frown only deepened and Mark could see nothing but sadness in the younger's eyes, watching in defeat when Donghyuck turned around and ran away, letting a small whimper escape from his lips that even Mark caught.

Mark could only let a frustrated sigh escape his lips as his eyes followed after Donghyuck's distancing figure which gradually disappeared form his line of sight.

A sense of deja vu struck him painfully hard and Mark was forced to recall the time his and Donghyuck's relationship first blossomed. But, this time, there was no tomato pasta pieces sticking to his clothes, there wasn't anger bubbling up inside him, there wasn't lust clouding his mind as soon as he caught sight of the tanned boy with sparkling, doe-like eyes.

Donghyuck couldn't even look at him and it only reminded Mark that the latter was visibly scared of him.

He fucked up and there was nothing more to it.

But that didn't mean he was going to give up trying to make things right.

Donghyuck deserves so much more than him, but Mark didn't want to let such a thought flourish more than it already had done.

Mark wants Donghyuck back, and he isn't even going to bother denying it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... *leaves swiftly*
> 
> IDK OK?!! this chapter was so inevitable!  
> ofc from last chapter, i made it seem like they would sort things out between them in this chapter BUT NOPE! just a little more kids :)
> 
> BUT MARK LEE HAS DONE IT! HE'S REALISED SHIT! *claps in character development after 36 chapters :')*
> 
> markhyuck had a mini confrontation in this chapter, and hyuck finds out mark knew about his feelings but mark's a real dick about it AS ALWAYS AHHAHA  
> anyway... needed the 127 hyungs to just knock some sense into him... but at least my guy understands smth now, only took him 36 chapters but ok -_-
> 
> they'll talk more upcoming chapters :) don't worry~ the resolve is near guys! i promise :) well done for sticking with this for this long ahaha~
> 
> i feel like i should write up what happened on new years... but the details i revealed were literally all the key events from that night and i initially planned for it to only be referred to in passing during other chapters... oof-
> 
> as always, that you all for continuously showing your support for this fic on all platforms! it means so so much to receive all these positive comments when i genuinely think i don't deserve it :/  
> this fic is my biggest work and i really don't want to disappoint - especially since now, lots of people are talking about >.<  
> i hope this fic will still maintain the standard until the very end !!  
> thank you guys so much for the support up until now ;-; it means so so much... thank you :'(
> 
> NOW NEO CITY!!  
> it's been a while since i've posted and lots happened in neo city since my last update... so the CONTENT IS JUST OWIJASLWJSAI woah-
> 
> basically, in conclusion... nct pets when?! 🤩🤩  
> i swear nct pets are taking over - cats and dogs world domination ig lol  
> (please daegal is so cute i'm going to uhsakshqw)
> 
> we've had jaemin, mark, jungwoo and ten's relay cams as well! words can't describe how much i just love seeing them do the bare minimum... omg it's literally-
> 
> nct: *brushing their teeth*  
> me: YES BOIS GET IT! YOU'RE DOING GREAT-
> 
> idk hehe~
> 
> we got SECRET AGENTS 127 AS WELL?!?!?!! WHAT THE FICKNSLQSIOQWS OMG!! all my secret agent!au dreams are coming true ;-;  
> they all look so freaking good holy qhasioqw?!!
> 
> and then ofc... the legendary dreamies rooftop fight scene!! the very moment all nctzens have been waiting for for so long!! our maknae jisung is an adult now and ugh... i can't believe so much time has passed already :(  
> (park jisung forever maknae)
> 
> we also celebrated wayv 2nd anniversary!! 2 years with our 7 best bois - 7 BEST BOIS WHO REVEALED THEY'RE COMING BACK SOON OMG OMGOMGOHEWOHQIS i can't
> 
> on a side note for wayv - they posted pics on their bubbles that saesangs have been following them around and waiting for them in front of public spaces... please this is so disgusting to even thinks about :( please can sm just do one thing right and give them better protection?! they don't deserve any of this shit treatment they've been given for these past 2 years and it's really unfair nothing's really changing even after all this time >:(
> 
> overall... thank you guys so much for the support on this fic :)  
> i really really hope this chapter was ok, bc idk... i feel like it's missing smth or i didn't write it very well :/ idk.. weird feelings welp-  
> but i hope you guys liked it enough :)
> 
> thank you for reading!! i'll try to be a little quicker with my next update!  
> OH YEAH! heads up... next chapter will have a few trigger warnings, i will state them before the chapter in the notes... but please read carefully ;-;  
> it's nothing too extreme... but in my opinion, it's very sensitive and i don't want to upset anyone. so please read carefully...
> 
> that's all for now!! thank you all for reading up until now!!
> 
> see you next update!
> 
> ~Risa <3


	39. thirty seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the very VERY OVERDUE chapter ^ ^  
> as some people know from twitter - the starting note for this chapter will be a little longer - so please read it!! :>
> 
> ! ! TRIGGER WARNINGS ! ! {please read with consideration}
> 
> \- this chapter is VERY INTENSE! it's stress inducing and hurtful and there's implications of harm to one's self - but not actually there.  
> \- there's a lot of heavy use of foul language. now, this fic has swearing and stuff in; but this chapter specifically uses swear words in multiple ways - emotionally, physically and for degradation.  
> \- which leads me to my next point - there is slut-shaming and derogatory language.  
> \- there is homophobia and homophobic language   
> \- there is violence and very slight descriptions of blood, but not in detail - it's not a big scene, nor is it too visually graphic, but it is there, and there are a couple of threatening lines with the intention of harm, but again, it's not acted uppn.  
> \- a lot of shouting and general hurt without much comfort.  
> \- this might peak anxiety levels :(
> 
> i say that it's intense, because it was particularly stressful for me to write, idk why...
> 
> but anyway... i hope everyone will like this chapter and i'll try to post the next chapter soon so you guys can see exactly where i'm taking this fic, but i hope this will show just the kind of relationship mark and hyuck have in this fic :)
> 
> please read end notes as well!! i don't want to make this too long :D
> 
> sorry for any grammatical/spelling errors!
> 
> i really hope you guys like this :)

Of course, Donghyuck expected a lot to be different now that he blatantly refused to see Mark. He had even gone the extra mile to ask his friends to help him avoid Mark as much as possible. As well as making sure to be the last to arrive at meetings and the first to leave, and asking others on the committee to give him his work, or just going to the student council room when he was sure no one was there.

He was avoiding Mark like the plague and his body wasn't fully accustomed to the prospect of having to ignore someone so adamantly. Naturally, he was bright and bubbly and preferred to be around as many people as he could. Never in his life had he been in a big enough fall-out with someone, so big, that it would cause him to ignore the other's existence entirely. But Mark has always been a special exception and Donghyuck was in no way surprised.

Every time he thinks of Mark, all he feels is spite burning his lungs. Regret, hurt, betrayal, humiliation and just so much _hatred_.

He doesn't even care for making himself look good whenever he leaves his dorm to go to class, his hair slightly un-kept, his clothes baggy and clearly looking as if he just picked whatever from his wardrobe and threw it on. He's certain his cheeks are sullen and there are bags under his eyes, but he can't bring himself to pay it much attention. He just doesn't care anymore.

It's probably even worse now because, every time he wanders through the hallways, he can see people looking at him judgementally, whispering under their breaths and gossiping like there's no tomorrow. What's there to gossip about?

That Lee Donghyuck, student council vice president, theatre club star, business prodigy and one of the top students in their year, had ran out of the student council room with heavy tears streaming down his cheeks, his usually sunny aura depleting instantly and his desire to make everyone everyone's day just didn't seem to show through anymore?

_Was that it?_

Or maybe, somehow, everyone found out that it was none other than Mark Lee who made him cry. Their long-standing rivalry, infamously known throughout the school as they constantly battled to be better than the other and every single person knew it. And now, every single person knows that Donghyuck... _lost_.

Their stupid rivalry, their meaningless game that caused him so much hardship and strain for so long - Donghyuck was defeated; he was the one to break first. Mark had come out victorious and even managed to make him cry, and now, every one knows.

_Maybe that's what they're all talking about?_

Maybe, all that they saw is how Donghyuck lost whatever form of a battle he and Mark had. That someone like him could never compete against someone like Mark Lee. That Mark Lee was too smart, too proud, too knowledgeable of games like these and Donghyuck never stood a chance.

Surely, this is what everyone's muttering about. All these whispers and curious stares, stealing glances when they think he isn't looking. 

A part of him wants to make an announcement of a sort; telling everyone to shut the fuck up and mind their own business because they're not getting sunny and bright Lee Donghyuck back for a while. There's only so much he can take before his usual unbothered personality breaks and he'll end up being overly-sensitive about everything people say about him. A part of him wants to tell people that no, he doesn't care about the stupid rivalry he _had_ with Mark Lee. That the root of all his problems and his sullen appearance wasn't because he was out-bested by someone as heartless as their student council president. He couldn't bring himself to care if Mark was better than him. If Mark was smarter than him, more talented than him, more popular and desired than him. All those attributes no longer made up the person Donghyuck had longed to be when he first enrolled here.

The small chalkboard he had hung up in his room to act as a constant reminder to stay on a clear path and maintain a high-status reputation - none of it mattered anymore and he wonders if it ever really did.

Becoming student council president, graduating at the top of his class, second to absolutely no one - what if all those goals were just mindless fantasies that he wasn't even close to achieving? Even if he was second place, the first place position on the podium suddenly seemed way too high, as if completely out of sight.

This is what happens when you get _distracted_.

He only realises it now when he's forced to deal with the aftermath of his actions because, yes, your actions have concequences and even though he thinks his concequences aren't rightly deserved, he can no longer deny that he put his greed before anything else. He valued lust over love. He valued pleasure over his own self-respect, and now when he was lacking in the latter of both misfortunes, Donghyuck realises that he must look like a fool in front of everyone else.

Nothing short of a _failure_.

Yes. _That's_ what everyone is talking about.

The whispering and muttering only intensifies when he walks into the cafeteria, wanting nothing more than to buy a bottle of water to aid his constant need of hydration after how many nights he spent crying pitifully. He knows well that his eyes are swollen and puffy, and he can make up an excuse quickly if anyone asks, but he still doesn't feel like talking to anyone in particular today.

"Hyuck!"

The sound of Renjun's voice caught his attention as he turned around and noticed his best friend walking over to him.

"Why did you leave our room without me? You know we're supposed to go together." Renjun frowned, intending to scold the slight younger, but instantly softening as soon as he noticed how miserable Donghyuck looked.

"Sorry, Junnie... I didn't want to bother you." Donghyuck shot him a wobbly smile.

"Don't be stupid, Hyuck!" Renjun huffed, "You could never be a bother!" that doesn't sound like something Renjun would say, and such a thought makes Donghyuck want to cry all over again.

Is he _that_ pitiful? Does he look that depressed?

"Just... wait for me next time, ok?" Donghyuck catches the way Renjun sends glares at people around them, bordering hissing at the people who visibly looked as if they were whispering and gossiping. "Dumb shits... don't have anything better to do with their lives..." he mumbled angrily and Donghyuck had no choice but to look completely and utterly lost.

"Renjun.... they're talking about me, right?" Donghyuck asked unsurely, this entire situation was chewing at his brain and he couldn't get the idea of people talking bad about him out of his head.

"You haven't heard anything, have you?" Renjun decides to respond with another question, and usually Donghyuck would snap at him for it, but he couldn't bring himself to do so this time.

Instead, he shakes his head slowly. He only caught the way people were looking at him judgementally and shadily; his own thoughts being too crowded to pick up anything people were saying.

"Good." was all Renjun muttered, his tone sour and bitter.

"What do you mean _good_?" Donghyuck repeated, "What are they saying? Are their rumours about me?! What are they?!" panic was invading his chest, his previous need to get some water only intensifying to the point where Donghyuck couldn't bring himself to satiate it.

"It's fine, Hyuck, you don't need to listen to them." Renjun assured, resentment dripping in his voice when he looked at the tanned boy worriedly.

That didn't help Donghyuck's situation at all as he anxiously looked around, catching the way people looked away when his eyes locked onto them.

If felt like everyone was talking about something that he shouldn't know about; even if it was about him. A wave of insecurities flooded over Donghyuck's head and he could feel the aching in his chest palpitating out of control. 

In the corner of his eye, he could see two familiar figures rushing over to him with worry and guilt marred all over their faces.

Even Jeno and Jaemin looked remorseful, as if they knew exactly what was going on but they didn't know how to tell Donghyuck.

Donghyuck wanted to scream at his friends. He wanted to yell and demand for them to tell him what is going on. He wanted to know what people were saying. He wanted to understand why people were looking at him strangely and whispering under their breaths like they're praying silently to a some deity.

He decided to ditch the bottle of water he desperately needed for his body cells to actually work and instead headed for his first class, pointedly dismissing the anxious and slightly scared looks his friends were shooting at him.

He didn't need _pity_. What he needed were _answers_.

But his determined strides to his next class only stunted with every step he took as he slowly became more hesitant, more self-conscious about the way he walked.

Now that he was paying attention, now that his thoughts were replaced with the fact that people were talking about him, now that Donghyuck demanded clarification - he could hear it _all_.

Every single word people were uttering. Every phrase of cruel judgement and disapproval; Donghyuck could hear everything.

_"Slut."_

_"Did you know Donghyuck tried to get the president to sleep with him?"_

_"I heard all he's after is dick. Just someone good to fuck him."_

_"That's so fucking gross. I didn't know he was like that."_

_"So now he's showing his true colours. I completely mistook him for someone else. I guess that innocent-mischievous act was all bullshit to get attention."_

_"All he wants is attention, right? Makes sense... he always gets the big roles in drama productions."_

_"But to think that he actually gets people to sleep with him? What the fuck?! Even the president?!"_

_"Damn, I thought they hated each other."_

_"Apparently, our vice president would put everything aside just to get the president to fuck him."_

_"He really is a slut. I can't believe I used to like him so much."_

_"I used to have a crush on him! I admired him for so long! But now that I know how he truly is... I shouldn't have expected so much."_

_"Fucking bitch. Bet he was the reason why so many boys broke up with their girlfriends. He's probably slept with them all."_

_"Heard he was cheating on Kim Seunghun. That's why they broke up."_

_"All he does is open his legs for anyone with a dick."_

_"Disgusting."_

Donghyuck has never found comfort in being alone more than he's done so now. In the safe confinements of his room, he curls himself up on his bed, trying to ignore whatever Renjun's telling him through his door, which he had locked for over an hour now.

"Hyuck!" Renjun yelled, banging on the door loudly, "Please open the door. You know everything people are saying is bullshit anyway... just don't listen to them!"

Donghyuck couldn't bring himself to laugh at how ironic that sounded.

"Let's talk about this at least. You have no reason to believe the crap people are saying. They don't know a thing." Renjun continued, like he had been doing for the past half an hour, "Hyuckie, come on. Please talk to me. Don't listen to what they're saying. We'll fix it for you, Hyuck. I'll fix it myself, I promise. I'll make sure everything goes back to the way it was! You know I want to help, Donghyuck!"

Donghyuck could hear Renjun's voice cracking towards the end, quiet sniffles and slow banging on the wooden door frame initially startled him out of his daze. A form of guilt refused to surge up in his stomach, even at the thought of his best friend getting upset over something that had nothing to do with him.

He didn't want Renjun to bother with his problems. He didn't want his friends, who have helped him many times, to involve themselves in the stupid shit Donghyuck always finds himself in.

It's his own fault.

Donghyuck let his head fall into his hands, a pained sigh escaping his lips when he could feel droplets stain his black tracksuit trousers. It seemed as if all he did nowadays was _cry_. Just cry and cry until his lungs give out and he has no more tears left. Everythings crashing down all at once and he wants to find it so, so fucking funny. It's really funny how shit everything is going. How it feels like the entire world seems to think badly of him now. How the universe has literally never been on his side and this entire situation proves just that.

He couldn't believe he would waste time counting his blessings and being appreciative for everything that he had and all the good fortune he was given when it came to his education and pursuing a stable college appearance - only for it to tumble down like an avalanche, ready to crush him. 

When he looked up, he could see just how pathetic he looked in the reflection in the mirror. Begrudgingly, he stood up and dragged his feet to the full-length mirror in the corner of the room. He dragged a hand down his face, feeling the deep urge to dig his nails into his skin and pull downwards until red marks appeared across his cheek. His entire body inflamed with the sudden urge to _hurt_. To feel so much hurt that the bleary numbness stinging at his eyes wouldn't even compare. With a slow hand, he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it somewhere across his room carelessly. 

Carefully, he examined his body and wondered exactly what was wrong with it. He wanted to know what was so wrong with him to have made such stupid decisions. What part of him was so fucked up to have made such rumours about him spread. What part of him was so unattractive and ugly that people would say such things about him without knowing a thing.

He continues to inspect the entirety of his torso, running his eyes over the dips in his skin and the faint scratches and scars that never seemed to fade since his childhood. Never had he thought he'd use his body to take advantage of something, or even _someone_. Never had he expected people to think that he had only been putting up an act to gain as much attention for himself as he could. Never did he think that his who personality, the way he looks, the way he talk and the way he walks - he never thought that this would be the reason why people detest him.

Because there's a difference between being jealous of what you are, and being jealous of what you aren't.

No one sees him as a capable and independent person who doesn't let anyone talk shit about him or the people he cares about. No one sees him as the kind of person who works tirelessly day and night to become someone better. No one sees him as a person who wants to take on challenges and live a life with no regrets.

_Why don't they see that?! Why does no one see that?!_

_They hate me now! They hate me, I cause so much trouble. Fuck... they hate me, they must really hate me._

All those people who would greet with a smile in the morning, and would go to him if they needed help with anything, and would playfully flirt with him and tease him and compliment him endlessly. All the people who confessed their admiration for him, all the people who said they wanted to be like him, and all the people who relied on him to act as a model student who could do well in school and live his life to the fullest at the same time.

They don't see that anymore.

No one sees that.

Instead, they see someone worthless, with so much disrespect for his body and his reputation. They see someone shameless and close-minded, with no other desire but to be satisfied constantly by whoever and whenever, and the thought makes him sick all over again. So sick that he has to rush to the bathroom again to throw up, causing his stomach to churn in pain by how empty it was.

He prays Renjun is asleep so he could go out for some much needed fresh air, because the walls of their dorm room have never felt so suffocating.

Not hearing any sighs of movement, he stumbles out of his room and treks down the stairs and outside until he reaches the main gate of their campus. There's a intense burning in his chest that doesn't cease no matter how many times he takes in a lungful or air to calm his erratic heartbeat. The weight is so heavy that it reaches all the way down to his stomach and he doesn't have single clue what to do to ease it. 

His phone vibrates in his pocket and Donghyuck wishes he just left it in his room so he wouldn't fall accustom to his usual need to check it.

What he doesn't expect to see is an urgent message from Jeno, who he didn't even expect to be up at this time.

**jenojam:**  
i really need to see you.   
it's urgent  
please meet me in the park near campus

**jenojam:**  
hurry

The unusualness of the texts filled Donghyuck's already volatile heart with a painful amount of worry. All thoughts seemed to have rushed out of his head and he instantly made a turn to head for the park, dismissing the coolness of the night he's used to being so afraid of. It's not as cold as nights like these usually are, but he could still feel a chill biting at his skin as he stepped through the rusty black gate separating the concrete pedestrian path and the grassy park land.

He looked around for a bit, letting his eyes adjust to the dimly lit park, since the lamp-lights didn't seem to illuminate the vicinity all that well. He was just about to check his phone to see if Jeno texted him again, but his eyes caught sight of a shadowy figure slouching on one of the benches before he could do so.

Mindlessly, he drew closer, trying to compose himself so he could help Jeno in any way he could. Because, no matter how frustrated, no matter how betrayed he felt... his friends were important to him and he didn't want anything to happen to them.

"Jeno-ah..." he called out quietly, "what's up? Is everything o-"

Donghyuck halted in his tracks sharply, not daring to take another step when the person on the bench looked up at him.

It wasn't Jeno.

He forced the shock to leave his body swiftly so he could turn around and walk away. There was something ugly and sickening rising in his throat and he didn't want to be here any longer. 

"Donghyuck, wait." a familiar voice called out to him, but Donghyuck didn't bother stopping.

He could hear fast footsteps approaching him and before he knew it, a hand had grabbed his wrist, stopping him from moving - such a familiar action that Donghyuck could feel his blood boil.

"STOP IT!" he screamed loudly before yanking his hand back, "I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!"

Donghyuck didn't know why he was even here. He couldn't see Jeno anywhere. He didn't know why he even thought that, at time like these, he could hide away from the one person he just wished never existed. 

Lee Donghyuck really wished Mark Lee never existed.

"Donghyuck, please..." Mark had the decency to look desperate, and such a sight made Donghyuck sick and disgusted all over again, "I really need to talk to you. Let's talk..."

"NO!" Donghyuck yelled, pushing Mark away roughly when the older tried to step closer, "I don't have anything to say to you! I don't want to see your face! Never talk to me again!!"

"If you let me explain-"

"Explain what?! What is there for you to explain, Mark?!" Donghyuck gritted, clenching his jaw so tightly that it was almost painful to hold, "I made it obvious that I didn't want to ever see you when I started avoiding you. Do you still not get that?! How stupid could you possibly be?!"

"I'm stupid." Mark stated, and his face looks so crestfallen that even the dimness of the lamplights couldn't lift up his expression, "I'm so, so stupid."

Donghyuck doesn't want to let the older's words get through to him or cause him to fumble. He's angry, hurt, devastated and just so, so _tired_ of everything Mark has done to him. If he hadn't met Mark, none of this would've happened. _Why?_ Why does he live in a world with Mark Lee?

"I know you don't want to see me, and I completely understand why." Mark started, and Donghyuck doesn't even want to let him finish.

"No, Mark. You don't." Donghyuck controlled all the anger he could feel bubbling inside him by clenching his fists tightly, "Now get out of my way. I have to find Jeno."

"Jeno's not here." Mark stated, "It's only me."

"Cut the crap, Lee." Donghyuck snarled, hoping Mark could see just how much he detested him. "Jeno texted me, telling me to meet him here."

"That wasn't him." Mark shook his head, "I asked him to text you so you would come here and we could talk."

Donghyuck was left dumb-founded by the words. As if Mark couldn't do anything more to hurt him, he goes and makes it ten times worse.

"So you're tricking my friends as well, huh?" he dug his nails into his palm as he averted his gaze downwards, "You're trying to use them against me. You just want everyone to _hate_ me."

"W-what? No! No, I swear, that's not-"

"MARK, I'M SORRY BUT I JUST CAN'T, I CAN'T-" Donghyuck didn't know why his voice was wavering in volume, his words were cracking and his tone sounded as if it was ready to split in half, "I just can't _listen_ to what you have to say! I don't want to listen to you. I don't want to hear your voice. I don't want you to look at me and I don't want to look at you. Everything about you makes me sick, Mark Lee. I'm just- I'm so _sick_ of you."

When Mark doesn't say anything, Donghyuck just lets everything spill out, hoping the night will catch it instead and he could lift all the burden off his chest. The burden he'd been carrying around ever since he realised he developed feelings for the boy in front of him. Feelings that brought him nothing but so much pain and anguish that he didn't think it was even worth holding onto them anymore.

"You're-... you're a liar, Mark." Donghyuck practically breathes out, his voice so shallow that Mark forced himself to listen extra carefully just to pick up on every word the younger way saying, "You've been playing with me and my feelings for so long. You love doing that. You said it yourself. You're enjoying this game that we both play. You make it so hard for me to _breathe_ sometimes, Mark Lee. I was so blinded by everything about you. I chased after you, I craved your touch and your attention, I forced myself to deal with the conflicting emotions you always displayed when I was with you. You always had this unreadable gaze that I still never know how to decipher. You do things for me that would mean the world if I didn't know you were only doing it because its fun to play with me. The way you've been treating me, the shit you say to me, Mark, I-... I really hate it. I hate everything you do to me. Every single word you've said to me. I wish I never experienced anything I had experienced with you. I wish I never came to this school and ran into you that day in the cafeteria. I wish our interactions would've stopped at the first time we properly met after that induction assembly. I wish I never became student council vice president, I wish I never had to see you every morning and work with you like being next to you didn't cause my heart to beat so fast that I was afraid it would burst out of my chest."

He thinks Mark's wants to say something from the amount of times he hears the older gasp in attempt to get a word in, but cutting himself off as soon as he realised that Donghyuck wouldn't stop.

"I wish..." Donghyuck thinks that he should just get used to not being able to breathe as properly as he should, "I wish I never met you, Mark Lee."

"Me too." Mark stated almost immediately after Donghyuck had finished, "I wish you never met me as well."

"You don't have the right to say that." Donghyuck glared at him, "You don't have the right to think you understand my feelings. You can't say such things and look at me like that. Don't you dare look at me like _that_. Like everyone who used to respect you, who used to think highly of you, who used to believe in you and look up to you - if all those people now think you're a dirty piece of shit with nothing to give and nothing to show."

It's not about status and popularity, being student council president and vice is so much _more_ than that; it's about respect and reputation. What happened to keeping a clean slate until he graduated? When did everything suddenly start going downhill? Why had he worked so hard to leave a good impression on people, only for them to think badly of him now?

_Was all that work for nothing?_

"I don't care what you think of me right now. I don't care if you think I'm being petty, or dramatic or I'm just doing this for attention." Donghyuck couldn't read Mark's thoughts, but if he had to judge based on everything Mark's said to him up until this point, he thinks that what he's saying wouldn't be too far off anyway, "My position means everything to me. And because it means so much to me, it affects me just as badly."

"I kno-"

"NO! YOU DON'T!" Donghyuck screamed again, "YOU DON'T KNOW A THING! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL, AND EVEN IF YOU DID - YOU WOULD'NT CARE AT ALL! YOU'VE NEVER FUCKING CARED, MARK, AND I'M NOT GOING TO STAND HERE AND LISTEN TO YOU SAY THAT, SOMEHOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN, YOU ACTUALLY DID. SUDDENLY, YOU'VE ALWAYS CARED ABOUT MY FEELINGS."

Mark shuts up instantly after that, not like he had said much anyway. He sees the pain and frustration swirling in Donghyuck's glassy eyes, and he desperately fears the younger will start crying again, even though his trauma from witnessing the sight last time hadn't healed over yet.

Donghyuck's breathing was loud and ragged, as if chasing to catch some air after yelling and shouting so much. Once Mark thought the latter had calmed down a little, he tried again.

"Nothing I've done is forgivable, and I understand that. I can't do or say anything to make you think differently of me." Mark knows that if he doesn't get Donghyuck to realise just how bad he feels inside, the guilt will eventually eat him alive, "But please, _please_ believe me when I say that I'm _sorry_ , Donghyuck. _Fuck_... I'm so sorry. It's taken me so fucking long to realise how shitty I've been to you. I went too far last time and I didn't think before speaking, and I hurt you and I made you cry and I'm just-... fuck... you're right. I'm a really heartless person, Donghyuck. And if-... if it makes it easier for you by not seeing me, I'll stay out of your way."

Donghyuck screwed his eyes at the older, examining the other's expression and gritting his teeth when he could see nothing but remorse and guilt etched all over his face.

Ever after Mark apologised, even if it sounded as if he truly felt bad, even if Mark was asking for nothing, not even for forgiveness - Donghyuck didn't want to believe a single word he was saying.

Because Mark is only playing with him. Mark has been playing with him this entire time and regret just isn't something Mark Lee is capable of feeling.

But he _does_ want to know one thing. Something that will put an end to whatever game of cat and dog they've been playing, for _sure_ this time.

"You knew, didn't you?" Donghyuck clenched his fists tightly. 

Mark looked straight at him, evidently bewildered by what Donghyuck was saying.

"You knew I had feelings for you, right?" 

Unknowing to Donghyuck, _had_ is the only thing Mark hears. _Isn't this what he wanted? For the younger to forget his feelings and find someone who truly deserves him? This is what he's been after for so long, right? So, why does it hurt so deeply in his chest?_

Donghyuck thinks Mark _knows_. 

That, as much as it kills him to admit it; Mark was right. Mark was right about everything he said about him, everything he said _to_ him.

Mark knows that Donghyuck will do _anything_ for him. He'll crush all his pride and dignity and willingly get down on the floor for Mark. He'll easily strip off his clothes and let the older have way with his body. He will take anything and everything Mark gives him, even if it's the bare minimum, he'll take it all. Even if Donghyuck was the one chasing after Mark, begging for him, crying for him, Donghyuck will still do it. He'll do it because he knows how much Mark gets off it. He knows how much Mark _loves_ it, even if he never says it out loud. It's beyond sadistic, it can't even be considered masochistic, because they were both into it, and Donghyuck didn't even know why he let himself enjoy it for this long while it simultaneously started eating at him until he reached his breaking point.

_Now_. Now he was at his breaking point.

"Was it you? Did you spread the rumour?" Donghyuck spoke up after a few moments of silence, "It must've been. You like it don't you? You're enjoying this. You knew that I was in love with you and you know how I am around you. Oh god, Mark... you _know_. You know that I'll get on my knees for you. I'll spread my legs for you. Let you touch me and stain me. You know for a fact that I'd let you do whatever you want to me." Donghyuck doesn't need courage to step closer to the older and dig his finger into his chest, watching as Mark stumbles backwards pathetically with every push. "So you're _enjoying_ this. You're enjoying this because you're the great, almighty Mark Lee; student council president, basketball team captain, ace student, top in the school. You're all of it. You have everyone at your mercy, everyone falling to your feet, everyone bowing to you when you walk into the room. And now you have me as well. You know that, now, I'll also be doing these things. That I was stupid enough to fall for your tricks, that I got lost with the way you handled me, that I blinded myself with the fact that you don't care for anyone, you never have and you never will. I was stupid. I _am_ stupid. I'm stupid because... because I thought I was different. I thought that maybe... maybe you saw me differently to others." 

_'I do. You are different, Lee Donghyuck. I don't know how to tell you this, I don't want you to give me a chance at redemption when you out of everyone knows best that I don't deserve it.'_ Mark feels the words clog up in his throat. Donghyuck's words are harsh and painful and he doesn't know how to respond to- 

"You don't know how to respond, do you?" Donghyuck cuts through his thoughts and Mark freezes at the words, shocked eyes meeting with the younger's hazy ones, "You don't know how to answer me. You don't know what to say to me. You don't know because no one talks to you like this. No one shows up president Mark, right? But hey, don't give me any special treatment. Shout at me, hit me, kick me out, do whatever you want. You know I'll just take it, right? I'll just take it, like I've _always_ taken it." 

Donghyuck can't even bring himself to feel ashamed. He had been embarrassed and humiliated countless of times, his feelings had been played with and Mark has made him feel like a fool plenty of times before. A sense of satisfaction does spur in his chest when he sees the wide-eyed look on Mark's face. He looks so shocked and so at a loss for words that Donghyuck wants to feel proud for finally getting Mark to look like that. This moment should feel glorious, yet all he feels is so much regret for the time and energy he wasted.

"You know me well." Mark mumbled quietly, not knowing what else to say now that Donghyuck had verbally explained just how badly he had treated him. Feeling guilt and remorse wasn't nearly enough. Mark felt a thousand times worse now and there was no one but himself to blame for that. "I've said things I regret, and I treated you in ways I shouldn't have. But... even if I never made it seem like this... I _don't_ hate you, Donghyuck."

The words are entirely useless yet Donghyuck doesn't understand why they have such a massive affect on him.

"That means nothing coming from you, Mark." he grits out, "You don't have to let your guard down for me. You've already won, anyway. Somehow, you got the entire school to talk about me, calling me names and spreading dirty rumours. Even my friends are involved with you? Haven't you humiliated me enough?"

There's nothing left for Donghyuck to protect, his heart is only an organ used to pump blood around his body and nothing else. Never has he felt so _emotionless_ before.

"Well, actually, there is something more." Donghyuck suddenly started before stepping even closer to Mark, startling the older slightly, "You said horrible things to me, called me mean things, strangely similar to the rumours everyone has been spreading about me. Do you want me to show you how _true_ they are, then?"

Mark's eyes blew open when Donghyuck placed a hand on his shoulder and looked up at him with a crooked smile. He looked crazy, like someone who had lost their mind; hysterical, _insane_.

"You said that I _love_ it. I love the way you treat me." Donghyuck recounted their small confrontation in the student council room a few days back, showing Mark just how much he thought about everything the older said to him, "You were right. I _did_ love the way you treated me, and maybe I only have myself to blame for taking so long to realise it. Maybe I _did_ love how harsh you were to me, how roughly you used me. I _did_ love the way you would throw me around; against the wall, on the bed, sometimes on the floor. I liked how you didn't care if I screamed for you to stop, or I begged and cried; no, I _loved_ it. Am I too much for liking something like this? Is this why I could never move onto someone else?" he's looking up at Mark with his big, doe-eyes, and Mark can feel his entire body shudder from how sharp and taunting the younger's words are, "I'm your cockslut, right hyung? Tell me, please. I'm your little toy, someone who won't say anything back, who'll just listen and strip whenever you ask. A slut, a body for you to use, I only care about getting fucked, right? A _whore_. Say it, hyung. Tell me... I'm such a whore, right?"

"S-stop it, Donghyuck." Mark stuttered, his words holding no power and authority like they used to, as if he was rendered defenceless when it came to Donghyuck. If he knew anything about Donghyuck, he knew exactly when the latter was lying. Donghyuck was sarcastic by nature, his prideful attitude and his witty tone frequently used to belittle people who try to challenge him in any way. Mark had been on the receiving end of Donghyuck's well-formed lies, ones that make him feel vulnerable to whatever the younger would say to him.

Donghyuck would never say such things about himself, and Mark knew the latter was only trying to make him feel worse in whatever form of revenge he was trying to take.

"But its true!" Donghyuck's hand was now travelling all the way up Mark's neck until it rested against his cheek and, maybe in a different circumstance, Mark would lean against the warmth and wonder if everything would be different tomorrow. But he can't this time. "Do you know how many times I've wanted to experiment with you? I wanted to try so many things with you, hyung; to make you focus on me only, to make you _love_ me. Wearing lingerie for you was one thing, but I didn't expect you to like it so much. You don't have to deny it, I could see the hunger in your eyes that night. It gave me hope - I thought you'd like me more if I did those kind of things. I wanted to try new things, all of it. Whips, handcuffs, blindfolds... every kinky toy you could imagine. I get excited every time we're alone together. Ahh... will Mark hyung shout at me today? Will he curse at me? Get angry at me? I think I missed you getting angry at me when I started dating someone. I'm so weird, hyung... why should I miss something like that?"

Mark could feel every syllable being pressed into his skin. He didn't know _exactly_ what Donghyuck was doing, but whatever it was, it was completely and utterly _dangerous_.

"I really am a slut, aren't I?" Donghyuck's voice lost its teasing tone for a split second, so quick that Mark would've failed to catch it if he had not been listening as intently as he was doing so right now, "Those rumours... they might as well be right. I don't have anything left to show. I hurt someone because I was too greedy for something I couldn't have. I forced myself to break off whatever fantasy I built with you in hopes that my needs would be satisfied on their own. But you were always _there_ , hyung. You didn't leave my mind like I hoped you would and that was the worst thing that could've ever happened to me in the span of time that I've known you for."

Donghyuck pulls Mark closer by his neck, only to whisper quietly.

"Knowing _you_ is the worst thing that has ever happened to me." Donghyuck has never looked so merciless before, and the sight terrifies Mark, "I don't care if we've shared laughs, if you've listened to me talk and you've given me advice. I don't care if we slow danced at a fancy gala. I don't care if we've dined at expensive restaurants. I don't care if you've made me feel love just by the amount of hate you give me. I've lost all value in myself, I don't see myself as someone who deserves respect, because I know that my feelings will only be played with. People will only keep talking and I won't have anything to say against them since all they're saying is the truth."

Mark could feel his heart beating erratically out of control. Maybe, on the surface, he made it seem like every moment he spent with the younger meant nothing to him, but deep down, he treasured those memories deeply and prayed they wouldn't have a long-term affect when he graduates. Hearing the latter say they meant nothing to him... it hurts more than he would like to admit.

Donghyuck pushed away from Mark and silently wondered if tonight could've gone differently.

"So, please, Mark." Donghyuck asked, his voice hoarse and strained from how much talking and shouting he had done, "Don't bother me anymore. Just take this win and leave me alone. I've told you everything, I've confessed everything. So, when I turn around now, it means I want to leave and I _don't_ want you to pull me back."

Donghyuck could feel his eyes stinging with unshed tears as he turned around and stumbled forward, wanting nothing more than to pretend tonight never happened, to just feel ashamed for what he's said and done and force himself to regret it, even though he couldn't bring himself to do so.

He almost makes it to the gate, only a few steps closer to relieve the burden he had left behind him in this park. His fingers reach out to pull open the gate, his stomach is still churning painfully and his throat incredibly parched. But before he could escape the suffocation, Donghyuck felt arms around his waist and his body being pulled backwards until his back collided with a sturdy chest.

In that moment, the thinks the momentum of his movements was similar to the way galaxies expanded and collapsed on each other, stretching out for millions of light years, yet still not far enough.

Mark's breath fans against his neck and Donghyuck can only stand frozen as the arms around his waist tighten and the lips against his neck start moving to indicate that the older is actually talking.

"I know for a fact that I don't hate you and I don't think I ever have." he starts off. _Lies_. "But what I feel for you is all messed up right now. It's so foreign to me that I'll lash out because of it. Because I don't understand why you make me so angry. I don't understand why I want to interfere and get you back to me. I don't know why I say such horrible things to you and make you feel like shit when you don't deserve it. You deserve so much better, you deserve to love so much better, but, for some reason, I don't want to let you do that. It isn't my decision to make, I've realised that now. I've realised a lot of things now, actually. I think I'm too late for realisations, though."

Mark raises a hand across Donghyuck's chest and rests it on the latter's shoulder before patting gently and rhythmically. He continues the motion until Donghyuck could feel the older's heartbeat against his spine slow down steadily.

"You don't have to believe anything I say. I don't deserve anything good, especially not from you," Mark has never sounded more broken before and the thought forces that aching feeling of longing to rekindle the flame in Donghyuck's heart, the flame he was so sure he had extinguished a long time ago, "But I _will_ find out who started those rumours. I'll make sure no one talks about you like that. Because it's taken me so _long_ to accept the fact that there isn't a single flaw about you, that there is no reason for people to hate you, for _me_ to hate you. You aren't anything like you said and I refuse to let you think like that. I don't know what this is, and maybe I don't know exactly how I feel, and I know I don't deserve to keep trying with you, but I hate it when we fight, Donghyuck. I don't want to let this carry on between us anymore. I'll fix it, I'll fix _myself_. I promise."

"Stop, Mark." Donghyuck shrugs off Mark's arms around him and pushes him away, "I don't need other people trying to help me. I don't care about who started the rumours, I don't care about what people think of me, or what _you_ think of me. I want nothing to do with you."

"But, I-"

"NO!" Donghyuck yelled, his voice high-pitched and strained, breaking off at the end, "No... I don't want to hear it."

Donghyuck doesn't bother sparing him a glance, his next words leaving striking like a knife into Mark's heart, one that was beating so loudly, he wondered if he should be concerned or not. _He was concerned, he was very concerned._

"We've always been better off hating each other, anyway."

There's a small instance, just a passing moment that shouldn't mean much, since its something that isn't unbound from happening, nor is it something out of the ordinary.

Except, it is.

It's such a strange occurrence that the entire school has been talking about, gasping in shock and moderate disbelief at what everyone had witnessed when the list of student rankings was posted onto the noticeboard near the principal's office.

It seemed as if majority of the school's population had gather around the notice board just to gawk at the sight in front of them.

Rows upon rows of names, entailing the long list of students who were recognised enough to be ranked amongst the student body. Every time the results are put up, it's not an uncommon conception to expect two names to dominate the list, to the point where people don't even bother to check the list at all; already knowing there would only be two names occupying the first two spots.

Only now, as people started to call others over until their was a massive crowd surrounding the noticeboard, there's a subtle realisation that, this time, something is very, _very_ different.

Now, there are two unfamiliar names occupying the top two ranks and you looked a little further down in the top ten places, you'll see the student council president's and vice's names occupying their own, respective ranks.

Such a sight looked more like a hallucination than anything else and no one really knew how to process this news, even though it wasn't their news to process.

It's even stranger when the said student council president and vice remained completely unbothered by this all, as if they didn't even notice there was a slight abnormality in the results posted, as if they had no care towards the matter. As if, all of a sudden, being number one and doing better than the other didn't mean anything to them anymore.

The situation was treated like a major scandal, yet even the two people involved weren't in any way aware of what the people around them thought.

There's also a certain sunken atmosphere over the entirety of Seoul International. No one talks about it, but it's blatantly there.

An ambiance so quiet yet so untamed.

Maybe it was because the usual the clatter in the cafeteria wasn't so loud this morning. Or maybe it was the way the hallways were deprived of life that usually came in the form of yelling and casually thrown death-threats and insults. 

Or, maybe it was because, for once, the only thing you could hear from the student council room was complete and utter silence. You could _hear_ the silence.

If the student council committee members used to hesitate before entering the room before, they're even more hesitant now; afraid to bear witness at what could be happening behind the door that resulted in absolutely no sounds, no yelling, no shouting, no arguing - _nothing_ could be heard.

Not that people were paying it much attention, or that they were necessarily waiting for something to happen, but a few heads did turn when the student council room door opened and none other than the student council vice president, Lee Donghyuck, walked out with a monotonous expression on his face. It was an unusual sight to see, where Donghyuck wasn't radiating with something, some sort of emotion that outwardly expressed how he was feeling: whether he was angry, or annoyed, or pleased, or happy.

At the mere sight of the boy, words and gossip instantly started spurring, spreading new and updated pieces of information that had been passed around over the past couple of days.

Donghyuck let out a steady breath and kept his eyes secured in front of him, not daring to meet anyone's curious gaze.

"People really don't have anything better to do with their lives than spread shit they don't know anything about." he stated openly, making his words loud and clear for the people around him to listen to, showing that he was indirectly directing his words to them.

Some of the muttering had quietened down, but others didn't seem to pick up the hint that Donghyuck just really wanted everyone to shut the fuck up and get on with their own lives.

"If I see anyone left in this hallway and not at their classes, everyone will receive a detention by the end of the day." Mark's voice soon interrupted the mumbling and muttering, forcing everyone into a dead silence, causing everyone to glance their gaze over to the person emerging from the student council room.

Quickly, as if nothing had happened, the entire hallway was soon emptied, not a single onlooker in sight.

Donghyuck didn't bother turning around. He simply continued on his way to his next class, clutching the folder of paperwork he needed to proofread and check over for the events after exams, which were fast approaching.

He almost expects the hand on his wrist which stopped him from going anywhere. A sigh escaped his lips and he wanted nothing more than to turn around and tell Mark that whatever he's doing, whatever he _wants_ to do, it's not working. He shouldn't have to embarrass himself like this if Donghyuck is simply not going to respond.

It's starting to look a little pathetic.

When he does turn around, he examines the expectant look on the older's face with a raised brow.

"What?" he asked boringly.

"J-just that... uhhh..." Mark suddenly looked like he didn't know what to say, somehow giving away the fact that he probably acted more spontaneously, rather with any specific reason.

"You want me to say thank you?" Donghyuck turned around to face him properly, scanning his eyes over Mark's surprisingly flustered expression, "Ah, you're right. I should be thanking you, the almighty Mark Lee, so assertive and commanding. What an honour."

"Donghyuck, _please_."

_Oh, how the tables have turned_. Donghyuck wants to say. He doesn't know why Mark looks so desperate in front of him, so lost and anxious from the cold-treatment Donghyuck had been giving him.

"I told you that I didn't need your help." Donghyuck stated, his voice cold and unwavering. "So, I don't know why you're doing this. I don't know why you're looking at me like your dog just died. Stop it, Lee... it's pathetic."

"Yes, ok. I'm pathetic." Mark quickly picked up his words, and its almost like he never had the title of student council president to begin with, "But I hate seeing you like this."

"Like what, huh? What do I look like in the eyes of Mark Lee?" Donghyuck mocked, the sarcasm in his voice not ceasing even in the slightest.

"You're just..." Mark couldn't get his words out, releasing the grip he had on the younger's wrist, "you look sad, Donghyuck."

"Funny you say that." Donghyuck rolled his eyes, "Our relationship has made me feel a lot of things; sad being the most predominant one, unsurprisingly."

They stand in an awkward silence for a few short moments and Donghyuck refrains himself from letting out a sigh at the turn of events.

"If there's nothing else, then I have to go to class." he stated, "Don't want to get a detention, do we?"

Mark watches solemnly as Donghyuck's figure disappears into the distance. The latter's threat was empty since they both knew them getting detentions was just not possible. They had both stayed out of trouble, avoided engaging in conflicts and fights unless they were trying to stop them. Everything had gone smoothly throughout the few years they had been at this college. Ok, well, everything except for their relationship.

And somehow, deep down, Mark thinks that there's no point in succeeding in every aspect of life, if Lee Donghyuck, his supposed mortal enemy, isn't by his side.

Donghyuck is getting seriously sick of all the blatant and unsubtle staring people are doing. Even when he's trying to eat his lunch peacefully... or, whatever he wants to eat of it anyway.

"Hyuck, wanna go out today?" Renjun tried to get the said boy's attention after watching the latter shove away at his food for the past fifteen minutes.

"Umm... no, not really. I'm not in the mood." Donghyuck offered a smile that barely caused a raise in his cheekbones. The sight was so painful to see that the three boys in front of the tanned male couldn't help but frown at him, evidently just as distressed.

They know, probably better than anyone, that Donghyuck wasn't the kind of person who dealt well with people talking bad about him. It was one thing to talk badly about a person to their face, and a completely other thing to talk badly about a person behind their back, without their knowledge, or their awareness.

The thought is more crippling than what it appears on the surface, and Donghyuck knows he's trying way too hard to make it seem like it doesn't affect him. Like the fact that people are gossiping about him and spreading rumours, that people who used to like him and admired him - they don't think like that anymore.

Being disliked is a big insecurity of his and Donghyuck never thought such a day would come where his insecurities would get the better of him. It creates a domino-like effect; one insecurity triggers another and you can't really stop a mind from overthinking of all the possible scenarios that could involve him in any way. 

It was part of the determination he had to befriend everyone he met, to be open and casual with people so he would be liked more. Getting attention, being liked and admired; it meant everything to Donghyuck. He used to think that such a characteristic was too greedy and selfish, that people wouldn't like him if they found out that he craves attention, that he loves to be spoiled with people talking highly about him and chasing after him for things they could never have. But he quickly grew out of thinking such things and accepted this part of himself as another one of his charming attributes.

It was fun, playful and light-hearted - so, when had it become one of his greatest burdens?

Too absorbed in his thoughts, Donghyuck almost didn't recognise how quiet the cafeteria had become in the span of only a few seconds. Realisation only struck him when, suddenly, he could sense someone looming over him from behind, a shadow casting over his tray of untouched food.

"Ah~ vice president, don't you look radiant today?" an irking voice caused Donghyuck to lift his head up and glare at the boy looking down at him with an ugly smirk.

"What do you want, Minsoo?" he attempted to remain level-headed, even though his fists were aching to punch that stupid smirk off the other's face.

"Nothing? I'm just complimenting! Can I not do that?" Minsoo didn't bother to sit down, opting on pressing the palms of his hands on the table and leaning down until he was eye-level with Donghyuck.

"A compliment from a homophobic asshole is unlikely to be appreciated." Donghyuck stated simply.

"Ouch, I'm hurt!" Minsoo mocked a pained expression, only to snicker afterwards, "Anyway, I've heard some of the stuff going round about you. I gotta say, I didn't expect our vice president to be so... _shameless_."

"Would you like to say that a bit louder, you fucker." Renjun's voice cut through Minsoo's words like a knife as he got up and rounded the table to confront the other.

"Renjun, don't." Donghyuck grabbed the slight older's wrist in attempt to hold him back, but Renjun was fuming.

"You here to talk shit about Hyuck, huh?" Renjun gritted, "If you don't want things to get messy, I suggest you get lost."

"Fuck... did I make shorty mad?" Minsoo practically cackled, and the comment only forced Donghyuck, Jeno and Jaemin to spring up out of their chairs, grab Renjun and pull hm back when the latter brought his fist up.

"Renjun, no!" Jaemin held onto his arm, trying to calm the latter down when the chinese male started struggling in the three boys' hold.

"I'm going to fucking slit his throat!" Renjun spat harshly.

"Wow... you've got your bodyguards with you as well, vice president?" Minsoo scoffed in disbelief, rolling his eyes at the four boys, but directing his words to Donghyuck. "You must love the attention you're getting, right? Everyone's talking about you, looking at you, standing up for you... must be _great_."

There's a certain snark to his tone that Donghyuck finds unnerving. Minsoo's looking at his with judgemental eyes but a teasing smile. They're contradicting each other so much, he could feel a shudder run down his spine.

"You're not saying much, hm?" Minsoo continued, "For someone as loud-mouth as you, you're surprisingly quiet." 

Donghyuck simply didn't want to give into Minsoo's teasing. He didn't want to give the other the satisfaction of responding.

"I just want to hear you say that you love it." Minsoo's voice raised a little, and if everyone wasn't already watching them from the moment Renjun got out of his seat, they're definitely all watching now. "You're basking in this attention! Everyone's talking about the privileged, high-end vice president, Lee Donghyuck - you're enjoying this."

In the corner of his eye, he could see Jeno and Jaemin trying to hold Renjun down because, _hell_ , Huang Renjun looks as if he's ready to scratch Minsoo's eyes out.

"Answer me, vice!" Minsoo looked aggravated at the silence he was receiving. So much that he ended up slamming a fist onto the table, only growing angrier when Donghyuck didn't even flinch. 

Minsoo let out a blunt chuckle before leaning impossibly closer to Donghyuck.

"Fucking _whore_." he spat, finally satisfied when Donghyuck's eyes started to brim with tears, an automatic response that he ended up growing accustom too. He didn't even understand why he automatically got so sensitive, but a wave of trauma and nausea filled his body to the brim, his heart clenching painfully in his chest and his breathing laboured and course. _Panic_. He was panicking really badly. "What? You don't like that? Doesn't a certain someone call you that all the time? Doesn't he fuck you like the bitch you are?"

Jeno and Jaemin themselves fight the urge to tackle Minsoo to the ground, knowing they had to hold Renjun back from doing something stupid. Donghyuck would hate them forever if they did something like that.

"Come on. Talk, slut." Minsoo nudged his chin, and Donghyuck swears the humiliation is making him feel numb all over, "Fucking hate people like you. Nothing but a dirty, filthy whor-"

"IT'S ALWAYS YOU, CHOI!" a loud voice breaks over the surprising silence of the cafeteria like thunder crashing against the earth, causing everyone to turn and face the intruder. "What the FUCK is going on here?!"

"President! You've arrived!" Minsoo laughed, "Way to make a dramatic entrance! I was just talking to your little fucktoy here-"

Much to everyone's utter surprise and fear, Mark doesn't let another word leave Minsoo's lips when he throws a punch on Minsoo's jaw, causing the boy to hit the table and clatter onto the floor. Screams and shouts were bouncing on all four walls of the vicinity and everyone had formed a crowd around the boys in question.

Donghyuck's eyes blew wide open at the sight before him, letting the heavy tear drops escape unhelpfully. This can't be happening. There's no _way_ this is happening.

"Piece of fucking shit!" Mark growled angrily, lunging downwards just to hold Minsoo down by his neck. "Don't you dare talk about him like that!"

"Y-yeah?! W-wha-... what you gon-gonna do about i-it?! C-come on, prez!" Minsoo chokes out his words, practically gasping for air before using his knees to push Mark off him and reverse their positions so he had the other pinned to the ground. With one swoop, he lands an equally brutal punch onto Mark's cheek and the screams only got louder. "You both make me fucking sick! Disgusting faggots like you deserve to fucking die!"

Mark's eyes blaze with so much fury and hatred that he turns his head to spit out and blood before tackling Minsoo once again, throwing co-ordinated punches where they land and dodging Minsoo's fists. 

He's just so _angry_ , his rage fuelled to the point where his head felt like a volcano on the verge of eruption after being so dormant and unbothered for so long. He's so pissed off that it's come to this point and there's nothing he can do but throw punch after punch until the boy under him was bruised up and bleeding.

There was nothing but anger bubbling inside him. Anger, mixed with so much regret and guilt. The kind that makes his heart ache in longing when he sees just how distraught Donghyuck looks.

Donghyuck, who's watching everything and screaming at Mark to stop. Donghyuck, who's looking at him in horror and fear at this side of him that he had never seen, visibly bordering a panic attack at just how _terrified_ he looks. Donghyuck, who deserves so much more than what Mark could ever give him. Because, really, all Mark had given him was trouble, and no amount of brawls, no insults, no witty remarks and no knock-out punches, can make Donghyuck forgive him for all the shit he stirred.

Soon, there's blood on the floors and people are yelling and shouting, some even trying to intervene and pull the two apart, only to rush back in fear of being caught in the crossfire.

With all the sanity and restraint left in his body, Mark tried really fucking hard not to knock Minsoo out unconscious, but the other was seriously testing his patience.

It wasn't until the a few teachers grabbed the two boys and pulled them off each other, and even Mark tried to shrug off the hold on his arms and attempt to lunge at Minsoo, wanting nothing more than to bloody up the other's face more than he had already done. Purple bruises littered all over Minsoo's face, and blood was dripping from his nose and mouth. His shirt was ripped open at the collars and his jeans were stained with blotches of red.

He was sure he didn't look that much better himself, but at least Minsoo looked like he needed more medical attention than he did, and that brought its own sense of satisfaction.

The teachers were shouting at both of them, but Mark couldn't hear anything since he was too busy glaring daggers into Minsoo's skull, assuring that every insult he could form on his tongue was evident through the way he was shooting daggers at the other.

His head was pounding and he could feel something trickle down his cheek. He couldn't bring himself to care that people were looking at him in fear. He didn't care if people were whispering about him. He couldn't even bring himself to care that his spotless track record had just been tarnished because of some stupid, homophobic jerk who caused someone he deeply cared for, a lot of trouble.

Donghyuck, a person who he cared for, so much that he couldn't bring himself to look at the younger. He didn't want to see the inevitably disappointed expression on his face. He didn't want to see the way Donghyuck was scared of him.

Even the latter's words were tattooed in his mind and all Mark could think about was the fact that Donghyuck wished they had never met. Donghyuck said that knowing someone like Mark, was the worst thing that could possible happen to him. And such a thought made every muscle tissue holding his heart in place, started to tear slowly.

And the last thing people saw was Minsoo being dragged off, alongside Mark Lee, the person who everyone least expected to be caught up in fight as bloody as this one.

Never did they think such a day would come.

Donghyuck could feel his heart beating erratically as he made his way towards the principal's office, trying painfully hard not to just turn around and screw his previous plan of confronting Mark and scolding the shit out of him.

_'Why did he do that?! Is he insane?! He's insane... he's fucking crazy! What a bastard! Idiot... he's such an idiot.'_

His heart was clogged up in his throat and he couldn't even bring himself to scoff at just how stupid and foolish Mark Lee is.

He couldn't even calm down his static heart beat, his heart pounding against his chest so, so violently. His breathing hadn't in any way reduced to a normal rate and he was certain the highs of whatever fear and panic he had just been forced to endure, hadn't faded yet.

With anger building up inside him, he marched over to the principal's office and was ready to burst through the door and probably slap Mark again.

But his steps slowed down to a stop when he heard people talking behind the door. Curiously, he peered through the small opening and caught sight of Mark leaning against a wall, while Minsoo was standing in the opposite corner, an ice pack on his cheek. A part of him wanted to grab that pack of ice from Minsoo and throw it away so his wounds would just hurt him. But he suppressed such violent urges because he knew he was the better person.

"Not even surprised you swooped in to save your little boy-toy." Minsoo grumbled and even Donghyuck could see the way Mark's fists clenches tightly.

Honestly, the words didn't phase him anymore. Donghyuck knew that everything that came out of Minsoo's mouth was utter bullshit - he wasn't going to feel hurt just because some insensitive jerk was calling him degrading names.

"Are you not going to answer me now? You denying it?" Minsoo continued and Donghyuck really, really hoped Mark wouldn't respond. "Honestly, it's one thing to have faggots like you in this school. But it's a completely other thing to think you have power over everyone just because you're president. It's fucking dumb. You think you two have all the power. That you can tell others what to do and walk around like you own the place, when the fucking student council don't do shit. You're just a group of stuck-up fags with nothing better to do."

Luckily, Mark doesn't give Minsoo the satisfaction of replying. He just stands there with his eyes closed.

"Heard you two fuck in the changing rooms." Minsoo laughed after a few short moments, "Not gonna lie, for a twink like him... he's pretty loud. Bitch wanted the entire school to hear him getting fucked."

"Shut the fuck up." Mark grumbled, forcing his words out above a whisper. showing that he was really fighting the urge not to respond to the other.

"It's true though?" Minsoo continued to taunt. _The boy just doesn't know when to stop_. "Whatever. Just tell your boyfriend to stop being such a slut."

Mark slams a fist against the wall once before taking only three strides across the waiting area of the office and reaching out to grab Minsoo by his collar, before shoving him against the wall.

"Why don't you just fuck off and mind your own business?" Mark snarled with such an intense amount of hatred, he doesn't even bother to deny whatever title the other had put on their relationship. "I don't want to hear you say a single thing about him."

"Really? I can't talk about him at all? The school's precious vice?" Minsoo mocked, "... _Hyuck_?"

Mark pressed against Minsoo harder until the other's face went red.

"Don't call him that." Mark doesn't know how many times he's heard people call him _Hyuck_ , but he hates the feeling of jealousy and dread that builds up inside him when people do. "Don't fucking care what narrow-minded opinions you have towards gay people. But you're a homophobe and a fucking bully. While I'm still president, I'll make sure you get expelled."

"Big words, Lee." Minsoo snarked. "I don't know why you're standing up for someone like him. I can't believe I got punched in the face by the president, just because I was saying the truth."

"Shut up. Seriously just shut _up_!" Mark didn't want to lose his cool, but everything about Minsoo was infuriating.

How dare he talk about Donghyuck like that?! They have no history. They barely even know each other! How can one hold so much against another person without any valid reason?! He's just opinionated and pissed off for now reason and all Mark could conclude was that Choi Minsoo was a pile of shit that didn't even deserve to be stepped on.

"If I here you talk crap about Donghyuck again, I promise you the next time you'll hear from me, you'll already be in hospital. I already know it was you who started those rumours, and I can assure you, I can make your life miserable if you pull something like that again." Mark scowled, "He's done nothing to you, so I don't know why you're being an asshole."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Mark couldn't help but freeze in place.

_Doesn't that sound familiar?_

Donghyuck's not done anything wrong... but he still finds himself in this mess. He's done nothing to deserve this, and Mark can't shake off the guilt that was currently wracking at his bones. Donghyuck deserves so much better.

"Just... stay away from him." Mark let Minsoo go, causing the other to drop to the ground. "I'm sure you know that, when it comes to Donghyuck, I'll fuck up anyone who tries to hurt him." he leans down to ensure Minsoo can hear his words properly, "Student council president be _damned_."

Because it's true.

There's many things Mark wants in life, and his past achievements had cleared up a path for him to a bright future.

But if Donghyuck's upset. If he's hurt in any way, if he's being mistreated or not cared for - Mark thinks there isn't anything more important than making sure to eliminate everything that could possibly make him sad.

And, as much as it pains him to do so, if his own presence traumatises Donghyuck that much, especially after the amount of suffering Mark undeniably inflicted on him, then he too will make sure to stay out of Donghyuck's way to ensure the latter's comfortable.

He can watch Donghyuck from afar and let the guilt and regret eat at him until the latter forgets about his existence completely.

He can do that, even if it feels like it's killing him inside.

Donghyuck doesn't know what to do now.

He's standing in the middle of an empty hallway, classes long finished and the school scarce of life as the end of the day arrived and all he feels is a burst of warmth rushing into every cell in his body. The kind of warmth he was used to dealing with when he first realised his feelings. Except now, the warmth is more intense, and a little more suffocating than when his feelings first formed.

Mark was saying all those things, sounding as if he meant every single word; his voice dripping in anger, but coated with sincerity at the same time.

It would be a lie to say that Donghyuck didn't feel _something_ because of it.

It was all too much to deal with at once, and Donghyuck could feel his heart bashing violently against his ribcage. His affections were spiralling so out of control that he genuinely believed he no longer had a grasp over them.

That, at some point, the inevitable would come and his feelings would soon consume him until he is no longer able to function like a normal human being with normal doses of affection towards a specific person. He knew his whatever feelings he had were dangerous. But they're unhealthy as well, because Donghyuck simply can't stop _thinking_ about _Mark_.

It's like he's fallen all the way back to square one again! Except, this time, he's dropped into the negatives and now he's got a different impression of the older.

"He... stood up for you?" Renjun mumbled quietly, as if he didn't even want to say such things.

"Not only stood up! He full on broke that idiot, Minsoo's jaw!" Jaemin himself couldn't believe such a fight had broken out. "And didn't you say you saw Mark defend you in the waiting room?"

Donghyuck nodded meekly, worried that his words wouldn't come out coherent enough. His three friends were deliberating the exact intentions of Mark's actions; still unable to reach a suitable conclusion as to _why_ Mark did that.

Why did Mark start a fight just because someone was talking crap about him? Why did Mark stand up for him? Get punched for him? Get in trouble for him? Why would Mark Lee go out of his way to help him?

_Why is Mark always interfering?_

He makes it so much harder for Donghyuck to forget about his feelings, and it's so fucking annoying that Donghyuck doesn't even care for the eyes looking his way when he walks down the hallway the next day. He doesn't care for the whispers and secret glances being stolen when he did so much as blink.

He couldn't bring himself to care at all about what other's say about him.

And he's certain that things really couldn't get any worse. Except, they can. Because, when Donghyuck steps into the student council room, he's greeted with silence. The empty room looks deprived of sunlight and life and Donghyuck doesn't even want to stay there for a single second.

It's only then when word passes round, and he finally picks up on the reason why the school seemed so different, so empty, full of people... yet completely deserted.

He picks up on the news and has to stop for a good few moments just to comprehend what he had just heard. All noise fades in the background and Donghyuck never thought such a day would ever come. 

The day were Mark Lee wouldn't come into school.

Mark Lee, basketball team captain, top student, business prodigy, the student council president... has just been suspended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh... :)
> 
> i'm just going to take a moment to say this now before everyone comments on this!!  
> THIS is the direction i'm taking my fic in. i've warned readers on twitter, but not everyone will have seen it, so i'll just reiterate it here-  
> this fic is messed up, their relationship is messed up in an emotional way. it's not only back stories or relationships they have with other characters - this fic is soley about the relationship between mark and donghyuck, and how they'll progress together in whichever way i make them.
> 
> i strongly suggest that if you're uncomfortable with manipulation of feelings and mistreatment, then drop this fic!! i will never take it to heart of be offended by it! i promised you all markhyuck endgame and upcoming fluff - and it will happen! i'm just anxious over people's preferences since this is an entirely self-indulgent fic that i use to practise writing emotions and anger and feelings of frustration.
> 
> i genuinely hope this chapter was ok and i'll try to get chapter 39 out hopefully tomorrow? it's really not what you expect and how hyuck will deal with this entire issue is probably rather spontaneous (?)
> 
> i'm also going to try shortening chapters again so it doesn't feel like i'm overwhelming you all!!
> 
> waaahh... it's strange to say, but i really related to hyuck in this chapter :/ everything he said to mark was almost like a realistic translation of how i am in real life ;-; it's like... insecurities and problems with being an extrovert :(
> 
> anyway! again, thank you all so so much for the support up until now, and all the encouragement!! it means a lot to see people getting engaged with this fic!!
> 
> maybe i'm making this fic out to be more than what it actually is, and maybe it doesn't actually affect people like it affects me? maybe the use of the trigger warnings before the chapter were a little unnecessary or overstretched? i'm not too sure... but i hope you all understand where i'm coming from!!
> 
> i have lots of insecurities about this fic and this chapter in particular, but i really love writing it and i can't wait to finish it!! thank you very much for supporting me and motivating me to not abandon this ahah :'D
> 
> ANYWAY! i'll tRY to keep the neo city section short bUT
> 
> THE RELAY CAMMSS!!! AHHHHH i love seeing my boys all domestic and shiiizz :) nct best bestest bois :D and ofc nct pets <3 my heart >.<
> 
> ALSO! nct 127 find the best agent was so so good!! not only bc markhyuck moments uwu.. BUT ALSO BC MARKHYUCK MOMENTS UWU?!?!
> 
> like... i don't update for like... almost 3 weeks, AND THEN WE GET LOADS OF MARKHYUCK MOMENTS?!?!? AHAHHAHA WHAT!?!  
> anyway markhyuck supremacy.. ahhh i love markhyuck :/
> 
> also!! i think my soul left my body after taro and sungchan's relay cams :(( they're so cute and their friendship is so so precious huhuhuhu ;-; i love them
> 
> and then rooftop fight was just dream on crack as always + alcohol + markhyuck <3
> 
> and then mark awards was cute crack + flowers + markhyuck <3
> 
> anyway ^ ^ there's probs a lot more... but i can't THINK bc LOVEHOLIC IN ONLY 7 DAYS!! AHHHHH i'm so excited !! >.< i love nct's japanese discography :') omg it's so sexy~ i can't wait!! :>
> 
> ok! that's it for this chapter! sorry for venting out my concerns and just being sappy lmao- but i hope you guys liked this chapter? it's cliche... yes, very... but i promise it's not what it seems!! 
> 
> next chapter will explain hehe~
> 
> thank you all so so much for reading!! see you next update!! :)
> 
> ~Risa <3


	40. thirty eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way i update so irregularly - very concerning indeed lmao :D
> 
> anyway... i hope you like this semi-double update? if you can call it that?
> 
> it's a little weird and i hope it conveys this new arc well enough (?)
> 
> apologies for any grammatical or spelling errors :D 
> 
> hope you like it! :')

**smoljun:**  
hyuck... are you sure you want to do this?

 **nana:**  
you shouldn't feel obliged to go see him

 **me:**  
i know guys... but i'm sure  
i think i just really need to talk to him properly for once

 **jenojam:**  
well i think you're being the bigger person here, hyuck!  
it's better that you talk now, otherwise you'll never resolve anything.

 **me:**  
yeah... i just want to talk to him and maybe hear him out as well  
it wouldn't hurt to try ?

 **smoljun:**  
if you say so, hyuck  
but remember that no one if forcing you to do this and you can come back if you don't want to!

 **nana:**  
yeah!! we're here for you :)

 **jenojam:**  
^.^

 **me:**  
thanks guys  
but i'll be fine  
i need to give our stupid president a piece of my mind anyway

 **jenojam:**  
go easy on him, hyuck  
he told me his wounds are slowly healing

 **smoljun:**  
still can't believe you text that asshole behind our backs!

 **nana:**  
yeah >:(  
no cuddles for you

 **jenojam:**  
nooooo :(  
it's not that i wanted to hide it or anything  
but i was just upset about what he's done to hyuck... i didn't want you guys to think i was on his side or something like that

 **me:**  
it's fine, jen  
you can talk to whoever you want... you don't have to let my personal feelings get in the way of that

 **jenojam:**  
hyuck...

 **me:**  
anyway! i'm gonna go see him now

 **nana:**  
you got this hyuck!  
quicker you guys can talk, quicker you can bury everything and start fresh!

 **smoljun:**  
or you can just pretend he doesn't exist :)  
i think that's the better option

 **me:**  
no junnie... you know i don't want to keep this stupid game up anymore  
i just want to set things straight once and for all

 **jenojam:**  
and you can! you both just need to talk! it's getting painful to watch you guys

 **nana:**  
even though i'm still upset with him... jeno's right.

 **jenojam:**  
nana baby forgive me!!!

 **nana:**  
no.

 **jenojam:**  
ouch.

 **me:**  
ok while you guys sort out... whatever you need to sort out  
i'm going to argue with mark lee some more and hopefully send him to hospital ! ^^

 **nana:**  
i don't think that was part of the plan...

 **jenojam:**  
hyuck?  
HYUCK?!  
oops... rip mark lee

 **smoljun:**  
this is going to be great

Donghyuck shoved his phone into his pocket and let out a ragged breath he didn't even know he was holding in. The route to Mark's house was familiar, just from the amount of times he had found himself falling for Mark's words and his advances and chasing after him like a blind fool.

But now, the fairly short walk suddenly felt different - a little more tense and unusual than before. Maybe it's because this time, he isn't going to meet with Mark for the purpose of fulfilling their arrangement. This time, he's going in seek of consolidation, a chance to finally clarify everything he feels and everything that's been happening between them for the past near two years they've known each other for, especially the recent months where Donghyuck found himself to be in a pit of despair more times than he would've liked, just because of the intensity of his emotions, which would only strengthen with every passing day, up until he reached - what he thought to be - his breaking point.

He's going to confront Mark. Properly this time.

No tricks, no teasing, no unreasonably witty remarks that set them off until they're both shouting and insulting each other.

Maybe he didn't have any intention to speak to Mark ever again since their last proper conversation in the park. But after what had just happened, Donghyuck knew that he couldn't not talk about it. They couldn't just avoid the topic as if nothing happened. As if Mark Lee didn't get suspended for starting a fight in school and practically breaking someone's jaw.

Pushing down the scarily large amount of hesitation building up inside him, Donghyuck walked up to the door and raised a hand to ring the doorbell.

He nibbled on his lower lip as he waited for someone to answer, but when the door did open, he didn't necessarily expect to be greeted by Mark's mother.

Ok, he didn't really think this through, because Donghyuck was absolutely stumped for words to say to the woman in front of him. Mark's mother looked strict, but she's actually cheerful and extremely kind, and Donghyuck had always admired her for her split personas when it came to work and family life. It was such an impressive skill to possess that he couldn't help but worry the time he spent away from this house, would change her perceptions of him.

"Donghyuck?" she sounded surprised to see the said boy standing at the door when classes should still be going on.

"H-hi, Mrs Lee... it's been a while since I visited." Donghyuck really didn't know what to say. He hadn't planned to run into Mark's mother, but now that he had, he kind of wished he had at least prepared something beforehand so the atmosphere wouldn't shift into something more awkward.

Does she know why Mark got suspended? As in... every bit of it? Even the history Donghyuck had with her son? Their rivalry? Their arrangement? The rumours??

Donghyuck's thoughts were cut off when a hand was placed on his shoulder and he received a caring and gentle smile from the woman.

"Has Mark been causing you trouble? I kept wondering if you two were fighting, or if he did something to upset you." she started off, tiredness evident in his voice, "He won't speak to me about it, but I hope you two can make up and you can start coming over again. The house has been pretty quiet without you around." she tried to joke, but Donghyuck can see a glint of frustration and fatigue in her eyes.

"I..." he doesn't know how to respond, but she sounds so genuine and sincere that he could only nod, "... yeah, I want to fix things as well." because it's true. Donghyuck couldn't help but agree with Mark's words. He too hates fighting now. Their petty arguments and mini-brawls are too tedious for grown ups like them to continue with. Shouldn't they sort it out like adults? How would anyone treat them with respect and think highly of them, if all they do is fall out with each other over and over again.

"That's good to hear. I hope you're not too angry with him." she sighed, her tone revealing that she had been plentily angry with her own son already. "I'm glad you came to visit."

"There's some things we need to talk about." Donghyuck decided to reply honestly. He liked Mark's mother too much to lie to her.

"You always were the bigger person, Hyuckie." she cooed before pinching his cheek, "Mark could learn a few things from you."

Donghyuck laughed and shook his head, mentally surprised at how well she was taking this, considering her own son started a fight, got suspended, and left a red stain all over his perfect track record.

_That's gotta take some real talent._

"Unfortunately, I already took a day off work yesterday because of everything..." she started, "so I've got to go to work now. I'll be back later on tonight. God, I really hope you guys settle things. My husband and I have a business trip tomorrow and this is the last thing I want on my mind."

"Yes, I-" Donghyuck's words were cut off when the older woman checked her phone in response to a notification.

"Ah! I have to go!" she announced, before moving past Donghyuck, "Thank you for dropping by, Donghyuck."

"No problem." Donghyuck tried to give her a genuine smile.

"I know he's made some bad decisions, but don't mind him too much. He can be a little dense, sometimes." she chuckled, before heading for her car, "There's ice in the freezer, please don't kill my son!"

Donghyuck could only let out a short giggle as he watched her drive off. He entered the house and let the cool temperatures embrace him whole. It truly has been a while since he's come here, and the feeling of comfort and awareness of his surroundings engulfs him in the same way it has done plenty of times before.

He makes it halfway up the stairs, before deciding to trek back down and into the kitchen to grab the pack of ice from the freezer. Who knows? It might come into use.

With bated breath, he makes his way towards Mark's room, his feet guiding him mindlessly, as if it was all in his procedural memory, which allowed him to remember the way through Mark's house and to his room. 

Questions and answers formed simultaneously at the tip of his tongue and he knows well that he really needs to do this. Donghyuck knows that he needs some form of closure, because there is only so much confusion he can take all at once before he starts to demand for clarification.

Deciding there wasn't much he was getting out of just standing in front of Mark's door, he brings up his hand and knocks twice - an action he's completely unfamiliar with since he never needed to knock on Mark's door before.

"Come in." a shudder runs down Donghyuck's spine as Mark's strained voice reaches his ears.

Donghyuck has to take a few moments to contemplate every life decision he's made up until now before opening the door. Once he does, he's greeted with the sight of Mark sitting up on his bed, bandages around his fingers and a few plasters on his face and his head.

"D-Donghyuck? What are you doing here?" Mark looks incredibly surprised to see him, and Donghyuck couldn't blame the older for that, since the last time they properly talked, he made it very clear that he didn't want anything to do with the older.

_But then again, he couldn't shake off bad habits even if he wanted to._

Donghyuck doesn't answer, instead, he makes his way over to Mark's bed, their eyes never disconnecting even once. A frown forms on his lips when he gazes over the adhesive plasters on Mark's cheek and forehead. His lower lip is busted and split, and Donghyuck has to fight the urge not to wince at the horrific sight of the wounds.

"Does it hurt?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper and it took all of his strength not to reach out and touch Mark's face.

"No, not really..." Mark lies, too busy looking bewildered by Donghyuck's sheer presence, his eyes wide and his mouth agape.

Donghyuck takes a seat on the edge of Mark's bed, albeit a little awkwardly. Oh, the amount of times he's landed in this bed in situations completely different to this one.

Unknowing to Donghyuck, Mark could feel his heart beating rapidly at an eccentric pace in his chest. The unusual feeling of happiness and satisfaction knowing that Donghyuck was here with him felt similar to the way fireworks explode in the sky. He doesn't even know why he's so excited by the fact that Donghyuck is visiting him during school hours.

_Holy shit- Donghyuck is visiting him during school hours. He's here right now! He's talking to me!_

"Why... why did you do that?" Donghyuck's words catch his attention instantly.

"W-what do you mean?" Mark questioned, suddenly nervous just by how close Donghyuck was.

"Don't play dumb, Mark... you know what I'm talking about." Donghyuck huffed, before pointing an accusing finger at the older's face, "You can't just pretend like you didn't start a fucking fight, got hurt and then got suspended!"

"I'm not denying it..." Mark defended, "I'm just... surprised to see you here."

"Yeah well, I hope you're not too dumb enough to realise that I- we really need to talk." Donghyuck crossed his arms, and Mark thought the younger was too adorable to look even the slightest bit angry.

Maybe because of everything that happened between them, as well as the talk he had with his older friends a while back, Mark suddenly felt a lot more accepting towards his feelings, and embracing the way he thought Donghyuck was the cutest and prettiest person he'd ever met, was somehow much easier to endure now.

"Are you ready to talk now? You don't have to force yourself to be here." Mark shuffled until he was sitting up a little straighter against the headboard of his bed. He wanted to talk before and explain himself, hopefully to make Donghyuck realise that he's so fucking _sorry_ that he doesn't know if he can explain the amount of guilt he feels in words.

"Why do people think I can't do things without forcing myself?" Donghyuck grumbled, thinking back to how his own friends said practically the same thing. "I'm not scared to confront my problems."

"T-that's not what I meant! I swear!" Mark waved his hands in front of his face, denying the assumption profusely, "I just don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I think I'll feel better if we just talk, Mark. No shouting or arguing or other dumb shit we usually do." Donghyuck sighed, suddenly feeling immensely tired from this issue he prolonged dealing with. 

"Yeah... yeah, I'd like that." Mark nodded, anxious about what they need to talk about, but well-aware that they couldn't let things play out like they usually do, because every time that happened, they regressed more than they should have. Whatever it is that they have between them, only coils into a tight knot that no one could un-do. Avoiding the situation would only make things worse.

"Good. Now answer my question." Donghyuck started, "Why did you do that? Why did you start a fight with Minsoo?"

Mark's face visibly darkened at the mention of that boy's name alone, but he forced himself to remain level-headed towards the problem.

"Because he was talking shit about you and spread those stupid rumours!" Mark defended himself, "I couldn't just let him do that!"

"But that's the thing, Mark! You _could_ do that!" Donghyuck retorted, "Since when have you needed to protect me?"

"Since always, Donghyuck!" Mark blurted out, his cheeks only flaming up after the words came out, "Since-... I just... I just don't want to see you get hurt."

Donghyuck silences after that. Taking his time to examine Mark's face, gulping the bile he could feel rise up in his throat at the sight of Mark's bloody bandages. The red stains through the white cotton were too visible, so much that Donghyuck couldn't even look at Mark properly. But he forced himself to do so anyway.

"Please don't lie to me, Mark."

"I promise, I'm not lying." Mark shakes his head, looking at the younger with deep eyes, "I hated it. I hated what he was saying to you. I hated that you just let him say all that crap without doing anything."

"It's none of your business, Lee. It wasn't you he was saying such things to." Donghyuck reprimanded, "It had nothing to do with you, so you didn't have to get involved."

"But it _did_ have something to do with me." Mark tried to explain, "If I didn't treat you like shit and I was more cautious of the people around us, that asshole Minsoo wouldn't have so much dirt on us. I-it was all _my_ fault to begin with."

"I hate this. I hate the way you sound so apologetic when I don't think you are." Donghyuck murmured, his tone dripping with venom and confusion - two things that made an incredibly sour mix. "You would never feel sorry for someone. I already told you that I'm just like everyone else now. You don't have to treat me differently. So don't say that you feel bad... I don't need your pity."

"It's not pity, I swear to you." Mark didn't sound frustrated when Donghyuck was sure that, at this point in their conversation, the older would've just given up already and let the younger say whatever. "He was saying things that you didn't deserve to hear, and I didn't want you to cry because of that. I had to let you know that I was sorry. That, I _am_ sorry..."

"But you're not meant to get beaten up for me! You're not meant to get bruised or hurt for me! I don't need it, Mark. I've never needed anything you gave me. There's no point in getting hurt because you want to say sorry or you want to prove a fucking point or some shit like that. I don't need it, you're wasting your time and your energy. You beating someone up doesn't prove _anything_ , Mark. It doesn't fix anything, it won't make me swoon, it won't make me fall for you more, it won't make me chase after you like my stupid-self used to do!" Donghyuck blows up. He knew he wanted to talk to Mark without arguing or shouting... but it was so hard to do that when he's having to deal with Mark's sincerity; something he'd never received, something that practically no one's received.

"I don't regret it." Mark stated after a few moments of silence as he allowed the younger to calm down once more, "He deserved it and as long as got expelled in the end, then I don't mind getting punished for it." Maybe Donghyuck's wasn't too aware of this, but Minsoo was a bully and he treated a lot of people like shit. Mark had a long list of complaints from other students, even from the members of the football team itself that Minsoo was a dick to everyone and bullied them for one reason or another. What Minsoo said and did to Donghyuck was the last straw and Mark knew he had to seriously demand the principal to expel him after relaying all these issues to the principal for a long while now, even if that meant having to face a punishment of his own.

"God, Mark... you really don't get it, do you?" Donghyuck practically groaned in annoyance, "You just beat up someone and got suspended, Mark Lee. Fucking suspended! For two weeks! Do you know how bad that's going to look on your record?! What are you gonna say on your personal statement, huh? That you broke a person's jaw for literally no reason?! How are you going to get into university?! How are your parents so _ok_ with this?"

"Honestly... I don't know." Mark admitted, not even bothering to sound sheepish. His parents had been giving him the 'silent treatment' after he refused to explain for his actions. He couldn't blame them, but he was definitely grateful for once that his parents were too busy with work to drill him for his mistakes and wrong-doings. Not that he doubted they'd just let this go, rather, he didn't want to think about them right now. He didn't want to think about what anyone else thought of him. All he cared about was what _Donghyuck_ thought of him. "That's not my main concern right now."

"Then what is it? What's concerning the almighty, Mark Lee?" Donghyuck mocked, "So much that you're willing to throw away your chances of getting into a top-tier university."

Mark doesn't answer for a whole minute. He just stares at Donghyuck in contemplation, as if the answers were all over the latter's face. 

To Donghyuck's surprise, Mark leans in closer until their faces were only inches apart, but still at a further distance than what they were used to.

"You not forgiving me for everything I did to you." Mark stated, "That's my main concern right now, and if I don't make up for my mistakes, then I don't think you'll be forgiving me any time soon."

Donghyuck's eyes widened in shock as he comprehended what Mark had just said. The room suddenly felt twenty times hotter and he was sure there was sweat dripping down his neck.

 _'I bet you don't even know what you did wrong'_ he wants to scowl. His hands were itching to push Mark away like he's so used to doing now. He wants to grab the pack of ice he brought up and throw it at Mark's face. He wants to rip the bandages off his skin and see the way Mark's expression twinges and contorts into a pained one. These suddenly violent tendencies match what Mark had displayed in the cafeteria. The unnecessary desire to hurt someone you hate because of something they've said or done to you. This feeling must be exactly what Mark was feeling at that time when he was punching the daylights out of Minsoo.

"Y-you don't need my forgiveness. You can do perfectly well without it." Donghyuck managed to stutter out, averting his gaze to look at his hands on his lap, trying to push down whatever previous urges he had formulating in his head.

"No, Donghyuck. I can't." Mark denied, "What I did yesterday reminded me of something."

Donghyuck looked back up at him in confusion, partially curious of what Mark was talking about.

"That night, some time before winter break. I sent you home by yourself in the dark, even when I literally saw what happened to you the last time I did that. You got hurt because I was insensitive and thoughtless." Mark almost looked pained as he recalled the event which felt as if it happened such a long time ago and not only a few months, "And then you got cornered into that alleyway... something could've happened to you and it would've all been my fault. You... you get hurt because of me every time, Donghyuck. I didn't want to let that happen again."

Donghyuck knows for a fact that Mark doesn't necessarily have a deep sense of justice or righteousness. He just does whatever any other human being would do. But, at the same time, it's different. When Mark protects him or saves him from shit... it feels _different_ , just because it's _Mark_.

Mark, who doesn't show that he actually has a sense of care towards people, has saved him from bad stuff before. Donghyuck has never needed a knight in shining armour to guard him and keep him safe, when he was perfectly capable of protecting himself. But when it comes to Mark, it's like a switch flips inside of him and he wants nothing more than to let Mark worry over him. He wants to _see_ that expression of fear and anxiety on Mark's face whenever he pulls Donghyuck out of trouble. He wants to see whatever worry Mark would be feeling after realising that Donghyuck isn't as careful as he should be sometimes.

He can't bring himself to think that it's fucked up that he wants to make Mark worry. He wants to _make_ Mark feel bad, to feel so incredibly guilty that the regret is painted all over his face. Maybe a part of him did everything that he did on _purpose_.

What if, after all this time, he had been fawning for Mark's attention and waiting till the older hurt him, all to only let it accumulate until _Mark_ breaks down from it? What if everything started from the first night they spent with each other? That very same night, Donghyuck swore to make Mark regret taking his first time, his _virginity_ , like that. If he garnered feelings along the way, Donghyuck had never intended for it to happen. All he wanted to do was make Mark suffer and that was it.

If that's truly the dynamic of their relationship, if that's really how he felt this entire time - then Donghyuck thought this was the funniest shit ever.

_He and Mark were born to be sworn enemies._

There couldn't possibly be room for anything else between them, if not for the requirements of fulfilling their sexual needs, which Donghyuck long-established was the entire reason why they were like this with each other in the first place.

"Two weeks." he started abruptly, watching curiously as Mark's eyes widened in confusion. With no expression giving away what he felt on his face, Donghyuck leaned closer and rested his hand on Mark's shoulder, "I will come over every day for two weeks. I will bring you your work and class notes and any other student council work we need to do. I'll take care of your presidential duties in school as well. Your mom told me she's going on a business trip tomorrow, so I'll look after you in the meantime while she's not around."

"W-what?! You don't have to do that!" Mark felt a blush crawl up his cheeks at the thought of Donghyuck coming over every day just to look after him; the warmth he usually feels when the latter is right in front of him and talking to him, spreads all over his body, numbing the pain he could feel in his head.

"I mean, I do. I'm kinda the reason why you're all beat up like this." Donghyuck shrugged, noticing how the ice pack he placed on Mark's bedside table was melting now, he decides to focus his attention on that rather than the incredibly strange sight of Mark flushing pink.

_Is it that hot in here?_

"You're really not. It was my fault to begin with." Mark quickly denied, before mumbling quietly, "It's always been my fault..."

"Whatever, you can't really stop me, hyung." Donghyuck stated as more of a command than a fact, "I think you owe it to me to at least weigh out my guilt."

"Guilt?" Mark questioned.

"Yes, Mark, guilt." Donghyuck clarified with a sarcastic tone, "Like a normal human being, I feel guilt."

It was a partial lie and he may or may not be bluffing slightly. Donghyuck didn't feel guilty that Mark got suspended for standing up for him. He felt only slightly guilty the older got hurt, but that didn't mean he was going to explicitly show it. All he wanted to do was make Mark feel bad, and these upcoming two weeks was his perfect opportunity to do just that.

"So keep your door open for me, yeah?" Donghyuck grinned, biting back a smirk when Mark visibly flushed and desperately tried to avoid eye contact.

 _Shy Mark Lee_. Now _that's_ a sight to see.

"I don't know why you're doing this." Mark sighed, "You don't owe me anything. I deserve a far worse punishment than this."

"Hm? You think so?" Donghyuck knew his voice was void of any sympathy, and he assumed Mark knew as well.

"I _hurt_ you, Donghyuck." 

"DON'T-" Donghyuck could feel his heart rate increasing rapidly. He quickly lowered his volume for the sake of wanting to stay in control of his bursting emotions, "Don't give yourself too much credit, Mark Lee. It takes a lot to hurt me." he knows he's shown Mark his vulnerable side. He's crumbled down and cried in front of the person he hates the most, to the point where it seems like all he does is willingly humiliate himself.

If Mark dares to bring up the way he "hurt" him, then Donghyuck might just act upon his violent tendencies.

Donghyuck takes the wet cloth that had been left in a bowl next to the ice pack he brought up. He squeezes the water out and raises his hand to Mark's face before gently dabbing away the sweat dripping at the sides of the older's head. They've always been asserting their authority over each other, and Mark always ends up coming out on top.

It's not going to be like that anymore.

"I'm better than you." Donghyuck stated, a fact that he's been nourishing for a long while, all to use up in this very moment.

"You are." Mark could only agree, defeated by the way it took him this long to realise it.

"I'm smarter than you."

"I know."

"There's nothing more that you could do to hurt me." Donghyuck lets their noses brush together once more, "These next two weeks are for me and not for you. Every day I come over, I'll make you regret everything you did, everything you made me feel. These feelings I have for you, this insane amount of love I feel towards you," Mark shivered under the burden of Donghyuck's words that were imprinting on his skin, "after these two weeks, I'll forget them all."

Mark felt his body stiffen under the coverage of his blanket. His blood ran cold and he swore his heart plummeted for a split second.

"By the end of this all," Donghyuck whispers, as if it was a secret that he could only share with Mark, "you'll mean nothing to me."

Mark lets out a breathy sigh, melting and freezing in Donghyuck's chocolate orbs simultaneously, the ones that make him want to forget all the pride and ego he had built up over the years and just let himself _fall_. Just fall so, so deeply in whatever intense emotions he felt towards the boy in front of him.

But now, he's sitting there, with Donghyuck's warm breath fanning his cheek and warmer presence pressed up against his body, telling him that he was determined to forget whatever he felt for him.

Donghyuck doesn't want to be in love with him and hearing it in such a way only makes Mark crave after the younger even more. He _wants_ Donghyuck, he's wanted Donghyuck for a while now, he _only_ wants Donghyuck.

"You know I won't let that happen, right?" Mark wanted to stand his ground with the few remnants of his authority he had left, knowing his own confidence was decaying with every passing moment that Donghyuck wasn't _below_ him.

"You can try all you want, Mark Lee." Donghyuck was seemingly accepting of how persistent Mark was being, "You can only hold onto my feelings for so long. And if you're not ready to cut off whatever we have between us, then I'll do it myself."

"I don't want you to." Mark protested, oblivious to the sudden desperation seeping through in his tone. The need to keep Donghyuck by his side intensifies to the point where Mark will _beg_ for Donghyuck not to leave, and such a thought makes him sick, because never once, never in his life has Mark begged for something.

"That's not for you to decide, hyung." Donghyuck reprimanded. He lets his hand rest on Mark's cheek, just above the cotton of his bandages. "You know our relationship is really bad, hyung. I'm only doing this because I want you to know how _I_ feel, since no one else will tell you." he goes the extra mile by pouting and looking up at the older with wide eyes, "Don't I deserve this?"

Lee Donghyuck is good at this, Mark has long-discovered. He's manipulative and deceiving and so, so _seductive_ that Mark knows he'll fall in straight away. All he can do is nod mindlessly, and agree to whatever Donghyuck wanted to do to him because, yes, Donghyuck does deserve to do this and Mark does deserve to suffer.

Exactly what Donghyuck has in mind to make him do that, Mark has absolutely no idea.

"Great!" Donghyuck beamed before pushing himself off the bed and taking the un-used ice pack from the side table to put it back in the freezer.

With a short twirl, he sways over to the door, smirking at the bristling feeling of Mark's eyes following after him. He turns around curtly and blows Mark a kiss.

"See you later, Markie~"

Donghyuck knows he's left Mark dumbstruck and confused. But this is only the start of whatever wicked plan he's formed in his head. Every initial intention to set things straight with Mark had lost its value, and Donghyuck's previous goal had been replaced with the sudden urge to make Mark regret ever playing with his feelings.

In no way is he less than Mark Lee, so if Mark can play with him and make him realise things for himself that he didn't even know about, then he can do exactly the same to Mark.

And, for the first time in a while, the weight in his chest finally ceases, replacing the stress and anxiety he used to feel with something darker and a lot more malicious.

If he and Mark were made to be enemies, then he'll bask in their mutual hatred towards each other as much as he can. Maybe he can play a little while he's at it.

_No one needs to know._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .............
> 
> i mean.... in the tags-
> 
> the tags-... they-.... uhhh... yeah.
> 
> don't worry too much about hyuck :D he's just over here suddenly radiating power bottom energy all of a sudden.
> 
> next chapter ----->


	41. thirty nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what this is-
> 
> i'm just... uhhh... thinking~
> 
> hope you like it :'D

"You're in a good mood today." Renjun stated, albeit warily.

"There's no reason why I should be in a bad mood." Donghyuck simply shrugged, a small smile still lingering on his lips.

"But... the rumours?" Jaemin didn't know how to take on Donghyuck's shift in attitude towards the words going around about him. Only a few days ago, the latter had refused to talk to anyone and barely even left his room besides needing to attend to class.

It worried his friends greatly, since they all knew Donghyuck was the kind of person who didn't deal with people talking shit about him, unless it was directly to his face. It seemed almost as if the tanned boy was putting up a front - a _fake_ front, like he was just masking all the trauma building up inside him from all these conflicting feelings that were chewing at his brain. The things people were saying, the words Minsoo said to him, everything Mark had done - it was as if Donghyuck was just taking it all in his stride, like none of it had an affect on him at all.

"I don't really mind them. People can say whatever they want." Donghyuck pursed his lips subtly, "I think I'm just going to embrace it for now."

"Hyuck... what the hell?!" Renjun grimaced, screwing his eyes in moderate disbelief, with a drop of anger as he glowered at his best friend, "Do you hear yourself right now? There's no way you'd actually think that."

"Yeah, Hyuck, those rumours aren't in any way nice..." Jaemin frowned, "you don't have to mask your feelings. If you're bothered by it, we can do something to help!"

"Guys seriously, I'm fine." Donghyuck assured, "I'm great actually. Oh! I won't be that available for a while, just thought I'd give you guys a heads up."

"What? Why?" Jeno questioned.

"I'm gonna be hanging out with Mark for a bit." Donghyuck explained briefly, his tone shallow, as if his words had no affect at all.

"Really? Did you guys sort things out?" Jeno looked curious and slightly hopeful.

"You could say that." Donghyuck knew he was being cryptic and vague about exactly what happened when he visited Mark a couple of days ago. But a part of him thought there was no use in trying to explain exactly how he felt to his friends.

There was so much frustration and annoyance bubbling inside of him. He spent a long time chasing after someone like Mark, doing things to make the older fall for him, to break the walls built around the student council president and change the popular opinion surrounding the older which constantly pinned him as a heartless fuckboy.

He genuinely believed he could break through the cage around Mark's heart and start something with him. All throughout the amount of time he spent trying to appeal to Mark, he ended up realising a few things along the way.

He realised that, in the end, Mark Lee was physically incapable of changing the opinions people had about him. He really was a heartless, mindless fuckboy and that was all he would ever be.

Donghyuck also ended up realising that his feelings for Mark were stronger than he ever expected. Surely, if he spent this long, tried this hard to make Mark fall for him, if he allowed himself to get hurt to the point where his own self-confidence and worth completely dwindled, as if his charisma and confidence meant nothing to him; then Mark must've mean a lot more to him than he anticipated.

But, to Donghyuck, he ended up losing more than he bargained for when he first harboured feelings for Mark.

_In the end, it wasn't even worth it._

"Ok, you're planning something." Renjun started, pointing a finger at the tanned boy accusingly, "There's no way you're buddies with Mark Lee already."

"We're not." Donghyuck assured, more for himself than his friends, "I just came to a few realisations." 

"Which are?" Jaemin prompted.

"Mark Lee needs to suffer." Donghyuck didn't bother looking at his friends directly, it was only for him to know anyway, "He said horrible things to me, didn't treat me well, and then got suspended because he was supposedly trying to help me? Bullshit. He's a fucking liar and I'm going to make sure he knows that. All this time, he's been asserting his authority over me and making me feel like shit. He's been playing with my feelings this entire time. He knew exactly what I felt for him, yet he still had the audacity to call everything between us a fucking game. I don't want his stupid apologies. I just want to make him regret everything. I want to make him feel so, so guilty that he'll feel traumatised from it for the rest of his life."

Unknowing to Donghyuck, the other three were looking at their friend like he was absolutely insane. As if the person in front of him wasn't their friend, but instead, some crazy person who took over Donghyuck's body and mind and made him say such strange things. Such things that they knew for a fact, Donghyuck would never say, nor even think about.

"This is a joke, right?" Renjun let out a shaky laugh, "Tell me you're joking."

"Why would I be joking about something like this?" Donghyuck didn't entirely understand why his friends were looking at him like that. Like they expected something different from him.

"I don't know why you guys can't just leave each other alone." Renjun sighed in exasperation, "When you said you were going to confront Mark, I thought you'd just let him say sorry to you and then you'll talk about whatever's been going on between you and then you'll leave it at that. Wouldn't it be amazing if Mark was left at fault? You didn't do anything wrong, so why would you waste your time getting back at him?"

"Just _because_!" Donghyuck emphasised, "That's just how we work. He'll do something that I don't like, so I'll have to get back at him for it. If I do something he doesn't like, he'll obviously do the same."

"So this is all just a revenge game for you?" Jeno raised a brow, his voice tinged with disappointment, "Honestly, by the end of whatever feud you guys had going on, I thought you'd just suck up all your ego and confess. You could be happy with each other right now if you just talked it out without hatred and guilt constantly stopping you."

"Hm." Donghyuck nodded his head, not even stopping a short laugh from escaping his lips, "There's no room for anything but hate between us. We were born to be enemies."

"But if you still have feelings for him, won't carrying out whatever plan you've made up in your head only hurt you more?" Jaemin himself didn't know how to take on Donghyuck's new change of character. 

"That won't happen. I'm only doing this for my benefit." Donghyuck's tone suddenly turned bitter, "I want him to suffer, I want revenge and I want to forget these useless feelings I have for him. Mark's not gaining anything from this. Which is why it's perfect."

"What exactly is this so-called 'perfect' plan of yours?" Renjun inquired, _'and why haven't you given up yet?'_

"Mark's already in a vulnerable position. He says he feels sorry, but I highly doubt that." Donghyuck stated, as a fact more than anything else, "The student council president for the past three years, the captain of the basketball team, has been suspended. His name from the first place rank has dropped as well. The principal might even have to write his entire suspension situation on his record." Donghyuck leans in closer, as if what he was going to say next was classified information no one else could know about, "I'm going to take advantage of him in this situation. He's practically ruined his perfect track record! All I've got to do is add salt to the wound and make him feel twice as worse."

Donghyuck was too busy admiring his brilliant plan that he didn't notice the blatantly _horrified_ looks on his friends' faces. Exactly _how_ was Donghyuck going to get revenge on Mark? Should they be concerned that their friend despised (loved?) a person so much that he's going to such far lengths to make said person suffer?

"Ok, I know I probably won't change your mind, no matter what I say," Renjun's shoulders dropped in defeat, "but if this plan of yours doesn't work, don't say we didn't warn you."

"What part of it won't work? It sounds pretty convincing to me?" Donghyuck raised a brow curiously.

"We just don't want you to get hurt anymore, Hyuck..." Jaemin frowned disapprovingly, "just be careful, ok? You don't owe anyone anything."

"I'm always careful?" Donghyuck grumbled, annoyed at the way his friends didn't think he could successfully carry out his plan and not suffer from the outcomes at the same time.

_'The only careless thing I've ever done in my life is having feelings for someone like Mark Lee. I won't make the same mistakes again.'_

"Ok... whatever." Donghyuck didn't bother to wait for his friends to say something. It wasn't their problem to deal with, nor was it anyone else in this entire school's problem.

It's his own problem and he'll sort it out on his own in whichever way he pleased.

Mark is only the subject of his ministrations, so really, he's got nothing to lose.

_No amount of pride or dignity or self-respect will stop him from making Mark suffer._

Mark didn't know what to expect when he opened the door one Monday afternoon, only to be greeted with the sight of Donghyuck, looking all bright and cheery for someone who was visiting his mortal enemy to look after him when said mortal enemy got suspended from school for starting a fight. _To put it quite simply._

"Hey, Mark hyung~" Donghyuck beamed up at him, his lips stretching out into a wide smile, showcasing his pearly, white teeth. His cheekbones raised and his eyes forming subtle crescents, which were barely hidden by his curly, brown fringe.

"H-hi, Donghyuck." Mark managed to stutter out a greeting in response, too taken aback by Donghyuck's bright and cute appearance to sound any more confident. Not that he felt much confidence in that moment anyway. "I didn't expect to see you here today."

"I told you that I'd be visiting every day, didn't I?" Donghyuck squeezed past Mark and let himself inside, wandering around briefly to see if anyone else was home. Mark didn't think he needed to remind the younger that his parents were both working out of town and wouldn't be back for a week or so.

"I thought you were just joking around." Mark ended up scratching the back of his neck as he followed the younger into the house.

"Since when have we ever joked around, Mark Lee?" Donghyuck looked at him with expecting eyes, tilting his head slightly, as if waiting for an answer he knew he wasn't going to get.

Mark froze on the spot at Donghyuck's blunt response, the atmosphere between them already growing awkward. The familiar wave of guilt rushed up briefly before sinking back down when Donghyuck pulled a chair on the dining table and gestured for the older to sit down as well.

"I went to your classes and asked some of your classmates for notes to give to you. They're probably not reliable, or to the way you're used to writing up your notes, but I tried to re-write them in the way I've seen you write your notes." Donghyuck explained, taking a plastic folder out of his bag and handing it over to Mark.

Hesitantly, Mark took the folder and picked out its contents, glancing his eyes over the detailed and neatly written notes, a splash of colour here and there, which he himself knew was all credible to Donghyuck's own preference in note-taking. Admittedly, the way Donghyuck wrote up notes for a class a little more advanced than his own level, was pretty impressive and easy to understand. His writing was clear and legible, and there were little boxes to the side which highlighted key points and subject terminology that needed to be focused on to gain all the points rewarded. It should be scary how accurately Donghyuck managed to mimic his style of note-taking.

"You wrote them up really well..." he mumbled, albeit more unconsciously, "similar to how I would write it."

"Of course it is!" Donghyuck stole his attention once more, "I paid close attention to everything you did, hyung! I liked you a lot, hyung." 

Mark felt his heart accelerate to a dangerous pace at the blatant confession. He knew the word "liked" meant Donghyuck was serious on sticking to his promise to forget about his feelings, but Mark hadn't expected the younger to make it obvious that he was doing just that. The mere prospect of knowing Donghyuck didn't want to like him anymore in that sense, made Mark more depressed than he would've thought.

Donghyuck loudly claimed that he did everything for Mark, and Mark didn't doubt him one bit. But, maybe he underestimated just how much attention the younger gave him, since he managed to pick up little details that even Mark didn't expect the younger to notice. Like the way Mark preferred his notes to be a mix of bullet-points and boxes, and the way he'd rather diagrams to be printed out rather than drawn on, and the way he liked dates and titles to be on the same two lines every single page his notes were written on.

In reality, Mark should _fear_ the feelings Donghyuck had for him, even if the idea inflames a warmth in his chest. The kind of warmth that makes him realise that he genuinely appreciates the attention one person alone could give him.

"We should start now. You catch up with your work and I'll do mine. Then we'll work on student council." Donghyuck instructed, "Hurry up and start! I can't stand the sight of the blood through your bandages.

Mark could only nod, not trusting his voice to say something intelligent. He quickly looked down at his work, not wanting to trouble the younger with the sight of his wounds. His mind was racing with thoughts relating to school, and work, and student council, and the ever-lasting presence of Donghyuck.

How could he focus when the latter was sitting right in front of him, pretending as if everything's fine between them? As if Mark wanted nothing more than to beg the younger for forgiveness and go back to the way things were. Donghyuck doesn't even think he's apologising honestly. Now, Donghyuck thinks everything that comes out of Mark's mouth is a lie; not sincerity or honesty at all.

How was he supposed to fix that?

How could Mark tell the latter that he regrets everything?

He regrets making the younger think he didn't have any feelings for him, or that whatever Donghyuck felt for him wasn't reciprocated to the same extent.

Even now, Mark doesn't know how he feels. After the talk he had with his brother and his hyungs, all he concluded was that he couldn't bring himself to reveal the details of his and Donghyuck's relationship to anyone else. The shame and remorse he felt bubbling in the pit of his stomach forced him to conceal everything raging in his thoughts. How could he tell Johnny that he fucked around with someone and then broke their heart by treating them like shit? How could he tell Doyoung that he practically corrupted his younger cousin and made him cry because of the amount of trauma he had given him? How could he bring himself to tell any of his hyungs that he hurt someone like Donghyuck when the younger didn't deserve any of the shit Mark had given him? How could he tell people that he gets jealous when Donghyuck is with people that isn't him? Or that he doesn't like seeing Donghyuck upset because his heart does this weird thing in his chest where it squeezes painfully? Or that he doesn't like it when Donghyuck gets angry at him, because it forces him to want to set the younger straight? Or that he loves getting the younger in bed with him and absolutely _ruining_ him?

How the actual fuck does Mark tell his friends that his entire dilemma is surrounded by the sheer fact that he is so obsessed with Donghyuck that he'd do anything to make the latter his? That he liked hurting the younger because he knows Donghyuck will put up with it? That he liked seeing the pained expression on Donghyuck's face because such a sight brought him pleasure?

His own feelings were too fucked up to explain to others, and now he was here having to confront them on his own since Donghyuck was right there in front of him.

"You're supposed to be working, Mark." Donghyuck's voice snapped at his attention, "At this rate, you'll never get back to rank one again."

Mark had practically forgotten about the previous term's ranking list and the way his name had fallen a considerable number of places from his number one spot. He expected his parents to get angry at him, shout at him for losing focus and deriving himself from his path to perfect success. But instead, they reprimanded him for getting involved in a fight and practically breaking a boy's jaw. Ok, that was understandable... but Mark knows he's done far, far worse that his parents won't ever find out about.

They don't know a thing about his personal life. What he does when he's not studying. What he does at parties, what he does to people, the amount of times he's lost himself in drinks and drugs and messed around with people with no care whatsoever, no strings attached.

What would they think if they found out about this side of him? Just how much is he hiding from different people? How is, out of everyone he knew, Donghyuck is the one who makes his brain burst with overflowing thoughts relating to just how fucked up his secrets are. Donghyuck's sheer presence forces realisations into his mind that Mark can't shake out no matter how much he wanted to.

Too caught up in his thoughts, Mark failed to notice the way Donghyuck had left his seat and rounded the table before standing in front of the older.

Mark was only jerked out of his thoughts when two fingers pushed his chin upwards until his eyes met with Donghyuck's. He gulped nervously as Donghyuck leaned his back against the table and moved his fingers to stroke Mark's jaw.

"Something on your mind, hyung?" the younger tilted his head slightly, his tone monotonous and impassive.

The same chills he felt the day Donghyuck told him he planned to visit Mark every day, just so he could make the older suffer, were shooting down his spine in a single, sharp movement.

Lee Donghyuck is terrifyingly sultry and the guilt Mark feels consuming him, is soon thrown into a mixture of curiosity and excitement.

The boy in front of him is so _rare_. A personality and confidence like his is so unique and impressive, Mark knew he was falling victim of the latter's charms. Falling in the sense like he's never fell so hard before. Like he never even wanted to.

"No... just distracted." he managed to muster up a reply.

Donghyuck hummed in acknowledgment before pushing Mark until the older's back hit his chair. Startling the other, Donghyuck slid into Mark's lap and wrapped his arms around the older's neck; the distance between them minimal and ultimately dangerous.

"Is it me? Am I distracting you?" Donghyuck looked up at him with half-lidded eyes, "I'm the one distracting you, right? Tell me I'm the one distracting you."

"You are." Mark quickly admitted, as if he was being forced to give in to whatever mind games Donghyuck was playing right now, all because he knows just how much Donghyuck likes attention.

"Hmm... but what part of me is distracting you so much that you won't do your work. You _love_ doing work, Mark." Donghyuck emphasised, his tone stating that he already knew the answer to his question, but Mark didn't know how the younger would have found out.

""I-I... I don't know." Mark cursed himself for stuttering, his hands flailing awkwardly at his sides since he had nowhere to put them because of the tanned boy sitting on his lap.

"Are you thinking of doing things to me?" Donghyuck asked, shifting around even more in Mark's lap, and the older had to physically bite down the groans he could feel spurring his throat at the younger's movements. "Ahh... like we used to, hyung~"

At this point, Mark had lost count of how many times he'd been rendered speechless from the sultry words coming out of Donghyuck's mouth.  
The younger's intentions were dubious and Mark had no idea what was going on in the latter's mind.

Exactly what did Donghyuck think he'd get out of this? How is he benefiting from this?

"Do you want to fuck?"

The abruptness of Donghyuck's question caused Mark's eyes to blow even wider than they already were, his shock and surprise causing him to push Donghyuck away from him until the latter slid off his lap. But before Donghyuck could land on the floor, Mark quickly reacted and wrapped his arms around the younger's waist to pull him back up.

"Sorry! Sorry... uhhh... I didn't mean to push you." Mark hastily apologised, "I'm sorry."

Donghyuck's hands were now on his shoulders and he was looking at the older curiously.

"Did my question shock you that much?" Donghyuck raised a brow, "Why? It's nothing new to us." 

Mark really doesn't understand how Donghyuck could talk about this so easily without feeling even an ounce of embarrassment.

"L-let's just get back to our work." Mark suggested, trying to push the younger off his lap gently with little to no force, but Donghyuck refused to move.

"But why?" Donghyuck persisted, his grip on Mark's shoulders tighten as if to hold the other in place, "If you're thinking about it, then we should, right? We can. I'm not seeing anyone... you're not seeing anyone." Donghyuck continued to state, as if his previous non-single status was the only reason why they weren't sleeping around with each other anymore, "Wait, unless... there's someone els-"

"There's not." Mark denied without a beat of hesitation, the sudden need to clarify such an assumption surfacing up rather quickly, "Th-there was never anyone else. Only you..."

Donghyuck stayed silent for a few moments, looking at him with unreadable eyes. Mark assumed that this was what the younger meant when he said he always looked at Donghyuck with a face he couldn't decipher. Because now, it seemed as if the roles had reversed and Mark had absolutely no idea what the latter was thinking.

"Really? You were only seeing me?" Donghyuck mocked, a devilish grin on his lips that made Mark shiver, "Was I that good of a fuck? Was I a good toy for you? A good slut? Did you like the way I got down for you? Let you do anything you want to me without protesting? Did I-... did I keep _the_ Mark Lee... _loyal_?"

"Donghyuck, stop. Please don't talk about yourself like that." Mark let out a grunt of mild annoyance, not because of the latter's teasing ways... but the way Donghyuck thought it was acceptable to just degrade himself like that. 

Donghyuck could say things to make Mark feel like the most worthless, pathetic person on the planet. He could be mean and cruel and unforgiving all he wanted, but as soon as he started talking shit about himself, Mark knew he wasn't going to listen to it.

"Don't worry, it's nothing I'm not used to by now." Donghyuck countered, "You should see the looks I've been getting at school. Oh! And the things people leave in my locker and on my desk. Even in the student council room! It's disgusting... but hey, I'm getting attention, right?"

Mark felt his jaw drop at the new piece of information he wasn't previously aware about. He thought that, as soon as he made a public display of what he could do to someone who talked shit about Donghyuck, then everyone would back off and conclude the rumours as fake and completely false. But, instead, while he was leading out his punishment, Donghyuck was in school, having to deal with such things. He did it all with an uncaring smile on his face, as if he was genuinely enjoying this so-called "attention" he was receiving.

Mark wasn't going to buy it even for a second. He knew Donghyuck well enough to know that the latter would never accept people talking bad about him, or disliking him in any way, and the younger's cold, unbothered attitude wasn't going to prove him otherwise.

"Have you told anyone? Why are they still spreading false rumours? Minsoo was expelled and everything! That should've settled things! Are you o-"

"Shut up, Mark." Donghyuck spited, his tone frigid and standoffish. "It's none of your business. Stop pretending like you care." he couldn't help but find it annoying that, all of a sudden, Mark was a good person.

As Donghyuck was about to stand up, Mark tightened his hold on the younger's waist, deciding to be the one to hold the younger back this time.

"I _do_ care, Donghyuck. I care a lot." Mark declared, "It's my fault this is happening! You shouldn't have to deal with this-"

"Fucks sake! I already told you to stop with the bullshit, Lee!" Donghyuck yelled, pushing himself off the older instantly, almost tumbling over his own feet from how forcefully he escaped Mark's grip, "Don't think that your sincerity and your vulnerability right now will make me think highly of you again. I don't care that you're hurt, or if you got beaten up for me, or if you stood up for me. I don't care if you suddenly regret everything you've done, because I'm sure you don't even know what you did. You claim you knew about my feelings, but did you know how strong they were? How much I loved you? God, Mark... I loved you so much that it hurt every fucking day. Every time I saw you, I wanted you to say something to me, something nice, to compliment me or tell me I did well, or ask me if I had a nice day or some shit like that. And I will remind you of this. Every day I come over, I'll remind you over and over again just how in love I was. This is exactly what I want to do. And, if you have any sense of humility at all... you'll let me do this to you."

Donghyuck grabbed Mark's jaw forcefully, his eyes void of any sympathy or emotion, trying not to falter when Mark's expression cracked slightly in pain, probably from the pressure on his skin causing the wounds to expand a little under his plasters.

_Donghyuck made sure not to looks as if he cared._

"I can be heartless as well, Mark Lee." he stated.

"This isn't like you, Donghyuck." Mark tried to get a few words out, despite the grip on his chin. "You're not bad like me. You've always been the better person between us."

"I'm afraid that's where you're wrong, Markie." Donghyuck gave the older a lop-sided grin, the most generosity he had shown the entire time they had been together in this very room. "I think that love doesn't only make you do crazy things... it makes you feel crazy things as well."

Mark doesn't even know whether he's in love or not. Whatever emotions he feels towards Donghyuck is strong and just so intense that it causes his heart to flare up haphazardly, triggering warning signs and flashing lights to force everyone away, in fear that he might explode from the pressure. Even after consultations with his friends, even after realising the infinite number of mistakes and mishaps he's made, even after getting suspended and tarnishing his perfect record - Mark still doesn't know if what he's feeling is actually _love_.

_But, then again... what else could it possibly be?_

If love makes you feel crazy things, as Donghyuck just explained, then Mark can do nothing but wholeheartedly agree with the words. He's said and done some pretty crazy things after welcoming Donghyuck's existence into his life. As if all his walls had broken down and he was left unsheltered and barren of secure familiarity.

"So, just prepare yourself, Mark." Donghyuck loosened his grip on the older's chin and let his hand fall to his side, "I'll make you miserable in the best way possible."

Mark let out a sigh. Whatever Donghyuck's thinking, whatever he plans on doing to him, surely... Mark is only expected to sit there and take it. He should let Donghyuck take his revenge out on him, all his sadness and frustrations, all the anger and disappointment he must've felt during the time he wasted having feelings on someone like him - Mark knew that this was the _least_ he could do. He should at _least_ let Donghyuck do whatever he wanted.

He could handle this situation differently. He could be rash and cruel like used to be, like he was to Donghyuck this entire time. He could revert back to his poor ways and mistreat the younger.

But that was the last thing he wanted to do,

Hurting Donghyuck was the last thing he wanted to do. He doesn't want to make Donghyuck cry, he doesn't want to see the younger frown, he doesn't want to rob the world of the latter's bright, sunshine personality. His bucket is already overflowing with mistakes and trip-ups. All there is left to do is be honest with Donghyuck and honest with himself and his feelings. Because there's no longer denying how much he truly cares about Donghyuck, and how badly he wants to ensure the latter knows this fact.

For Donghyuck has worked his magic on him and, like hypnosis, Mark was now bound under a spell that only Donghyuck knew the words to reverse.

_He deserves this treatment._

"What are you going to do then?" Mark has asked this question before, curious and fearful of exactly what Donghyuck had in mind for him.

He watched as the latter packed his stuff up and slung his bag over his shoulder, silently indicating that he was ready to leave.

"I can't tell you that." Donghyuck stated, "Just like how you didn't tell me you knew I had feelings for you."

Mark felt a sharp and painful tug at his heart, the sudden reminder of how he played with the younger despite being aware of the latter's feelings, causing a whole new wave of guilt to surface once more.

_Donghyuck really did have no mercy on him._

"However... I'm changing things up a bit." Donghyuck started suddenly, "You're not allowed to call me Donghyuck anymore."

"W-what?" Mark was so confused that it was actually hurting his brain.

"Yup!" Donghyuck smiled, as if he was proud of the affect he was currently having on the older boy, "You can only address me by two names now-"

Mark watched as Donghyuck leaned a little closer to him, and it had gotten to the point where he was accustomed to the latter's movements. A trend appeared and Mark soon realised that whenever Donghyuck drew near him, he assumed he latter was going to say something that will most likely render him speechless.

"You can only call me Hyuck..." Donghyuck grinned, "... or _baby_."

And that marks the second time Donghyuck has left him dumb to the bone. All the limbs in his body ceasing to work as he watches the younger laugh at him before skipping out of he door with a cheeky "goodbye, Markie~".

Mark was left completely baffled and painfully flustered. His heart hammering so loudly in his chest that it could rival the beat of a drum. The pounding noises were travelling through his ears and it's getting so much harder to breathe now that he's left alone. Donghyuck must be the devil himself for reducing him to this level of apprehension. Some sort of mischievous spirit that knows exactly how to mess with him, because all Mark is now, is _confused_.

What the hell was he supposed to do now?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oK SO-
> 
> yeah.... ummm... if anyone was expecting the direction i was going to head with this fic... thank you for sticking with it up until now ;-;  
> IT'S GETTING SO CLICHE THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO-
> 
> but yeah... i hope this is ok :D
> 
> it appears angsty and looks as if they're not going to progress anywhere, but don't worry! it's actually more fluffier than expected ahah~ i hope this new arc will go well >.<
> 
> seriously though, thank you all very very much for supporting me and this fic :) you are all so nice and you always leave very nice comments on here, twitter and my cc >.< i really appreciate it! so thank you!! 
> 
> again... sorry for the long wait aha- i don't really have much of an excuse besides me being overly anxious every time i post an update~ i really want to end this well :)  
> i've also been pretty busy with school and stuff, and we'll physically be going back to in just over a week, so i need to prepare myself for that omg-
> 
> aNYWAY! i'll speedrun through neo city section! i've screamed abt it a lot on twitter, but i need to rant here as wel :D-
> 
> SO~! i can't remember which person i last left off with on the relay cams, but we got loads these past couple of weeks! i just love domestic nct so much :( they're just... watching netflix and playing games and cooking ramen and lying down and doing nothing and it's just... amazing :( they're so AMAZING ;-;
> 
> ANDDDD !! we got YANGYANG MODEL?!?! he looks so freaking SEXY? HOT? HANDSOME? HOT?? BEAUTIFUL?? HOOOOTTT???!1 he looks so so good omg he stole the show ;-;  
> and just wayv-ariety in general ;-; please they're all crackheads-  
> which reminds me that wayvision season 2 has come out! i'm gonna try to get through all my work so i can watch it and doyoung and jaehyun's dramas!! 
> 
> we also got dream content today omgomgomggomg they all looked so good in those lab coats :( dream content is so superior-
> 
> OK NOW! important !   
> the COMEBACKS!!! 
> 
> gimme gimme was so so good!! i already knew it was gonna be amazing bc nct's japanese tracks NEVER miss... but the entire album was so good ;-; i literally can't pick a favourite but lipstick chica bom bom and right now are freakigh AMAZING! FIRE! *chef's kiss*
> 
> WE ALSO GOT WAYV COMEBACK !!! omg i can't wait!! the teaser looks so cool and we got some of their pics today!! i saw somewhere on twitter that their make-up is different on each half of their faces and my mind just broke then omg-  
> it's already going to be so lit... wayv supremacy :'D
> 
> there's probs loads more... we got tyongstagram as well!!! so cute >.< all of superm have instagram now - we love to see it!
> 
> ok this is getting too long-  
> anyway! thank you for reading this annoying and late update, i hope you guys still like it :) i also hope you guys can tell that the resolve sHOULD be near :D i don't want to drag this on and make it worse... so i'm hoping to finish it off soon!!
> 
> thank you for the support ;-; seriously, i really don't know how to thank you all enough :(
> 
> anyway! i'll try to get the next update out as soon as i can... (but y'all know me... i'm just bad with updates ;-;)!  
> i'm gonna get to replying to comments from the last chapter asap! you can share your thoughts with me on twitter (@xneojunx) or my cc ^^!! 
> 
> thanks for reading!! see you next update!! 
> 
> ~Risa <3


	42. forty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is this? me updating less than a week since last update? WHAT?!
> 
> anyway... yeah... idk what this chapter is (like most chapters)
> 
> but i hope you like it anyway >.<
> 
> please excuse any spelling errors and grammatical mistakes ;-;
> 
> enjoy ! :'D

"So you're telling me, for the next two weeks, we're supposed to be practising for nationals _without_ our captain?!" Mark winced at the loud shrieking noises Lucas was making over the phone. He could tell the older was pissed, but there was really nothing else he could say about his predicament. "We might as well just withdraw now!"

"Stop being dramatic, dude." Mark rolled his eyes, "I'm putting you in charge, so you better make sure no one's slacking off with practise."

"And what about you?" Lucas asked, his tone accusing and displeased.

"What about me?" 

"How are _you_ going to practise? You may be our captain... but you're also playing!" Lucas practically scolded. "I just don't understand how someone as smart as you can be so stupid! Trust you to go and get yourself suspended this close to nationals! I mean... why did you even do that?! Why do you always act so impulsively! God, Mark... I think you've hit an all time low on this one."

"Wow... the way your Korean is suddenly better than mine when you're insulting me." Mark tried to joke.

"Not funny, Lee." Lucas grumbled, "I'm serious. It... doesn't make any sense. Why did you do that?"

Mark let out a sigh, rubbing a hand over his face in defeat. Honestly, he had millions of reasons why he did what he did, but at the same time, he didn't have a valid enough reason at all.

"I don't know how to explain to you." Mark ended up saying, "I was just... I was really angry then, just at myself and how I've been treating people and stuff. You're probably really pissed off, right?"

"Fuck yeah I'm pissed off." Lucas practically spat, "Renjun won't even talk to me because of what you did. He thinks you're trying to trick Donghyuck or something like that."

"I'm sorry, man. It's all my fault." Mark fell backwards until his head hit the pillow. He threw and arm over his face, his voice coming out more strained than intended, "Fuck... I really messed up this time."

"Yeah, no kidding." Lucas sighed, "Has Donghyuck spoken to you, yet?"

"Uhh... yeah... I guess we... _talked_." Mark swallowed the lump in his throat, suddenly fearful as he thought back to the previous few conversations he's had with the younger.

"Hmm... I really don't know what's going on between you two, but whatever it is, you better get your shit together." Lucas instructed sternly, "Honestly, man... you're so lucky Principal Choi likes you. Otherwise I'm sure you would've been kicked out of school by now."

"Wow thanks, Lucas." Mark deadpanned with an eyeroll, knowing the other couldn't see him anyway.

"I'm just saying." Lucas added, "Whatever. These next two weeks are going to be fucking torture without you. I don't even know how to lead the basketball team!"

"You'll be fine." Mark assured, "You are my best player, after all."

"You can't sweet talk you're way out of this. I'm still really mad at you." Lucas huffed, but Mark knew his best friend wouldn't stay angry for too long. "I don't want to say this now because of the situation you're in, but... I told you so."

There's a short silence, and before Mark questions it, Lucas starts to elaborate.

"I told you the day of the play, when you got flowers for Donghyuck... you really have changed, Mark." Lucas explained, "But I don't know whether it's a good change or not."

"What do you mean by that?" Mark questioned, still confused by the other's words.

"I mean... who would've thought you, straight A student and the student council president, would start a fight and then get suspended, right?" Lucas clarified, "It's great that you stood up for Donghyuck, but I'm just... confused, I guess. When we first met, I just assumed you were never the person to pay attention to those things."

 _'Wouldn't that make me a really cruel person, though?'_ Mark wants to say. If he just casted a blind eye over people shamelessly and openly bullying others; wouldn't that make him a bad person? A bad student council president? After thinking about it, Mark realised that, maybe what Lucas was talking about, wasn't what he had in mind.

It must be true, then.

Maybe, three years ago, when he first started attending this college, when he first became student council president - he wouldn't care to intervene in someone's problems to this extent. So far, he's stopped fights and ended conflicts, like his duties contracted him to do. But this wasn't like anything else. That day in the cafeteria, the moment he saw Minsoo clearly bothering Donghyuck, the moment he connected the dots and traced all the rumours back to him - all Mark saw was red. 

The anger was pulsating in his veins and he had never felt so frustrated before. He's hurt Donghyuck in many ways and no one even knows about it. Even Donghyuck hasn't told anyone.

But he assumes it must be part of the younger's plan to get revenge on him.

The sound of the door bell startles Mark out of his thoughts and he could already feel an uneasy surge rising in his chest.

"Oh wait, someone's at the door. I'll talk to you later, Lucas." Mark quickly announced. He waits a few seconds while Lucas also says his goodbyes and then hangs up the call.

After throwing his phone on his bed, Mark quickly made his way through his empty house and opened the front door.

Deja vu must've struck him extra hard this time, because Donghyuck is standing there with a big, beaming smile on his face. Didn't this happen yesterday, as well? Wasn't Donghyuck smiling at him like this just yesterday? Or did that all just happen in his dreams? Maybe he was imagining things? Maybe Donghyuck never actually told him about his plans to forget his feelings?

"Oh? Hey..." Mark managed to utter out, familiar to the way Donghyuck just pushes past him and lets himself get comfortable in his home.

"Why do you sound so surprised to see me? I was here yesterday?" Donghyuck spared him a glance, his eyebrow raised judgementally.

Mark freezes up at the words, shocked at the sudden revelation. So Donghyuck _was_ here yesterday? He wasn't just imagining things?

"It's nothing." Mark quickly waved off. He runs over the next few lines in his head, not wanting to say the wrong thing to upset the younger in any way. "So... uhh-"

The words run dry in his mouth and Mark was certain he has never found himself in a position more awkward than the one he was in now. The silence between them, the tension - it's so thick that you'd need a chainsaw to cut through it.

"Here's today's work. I went through your desk in the council room and brought back any files I assumed you hadn't finished looking over." Donghyuck filled the silence by shoving a couple of plastic folders in Mark's face. "We should study for a bit and then do student council work."

"Oh... thanks, Donghyuck." Mark was about to reach for the folders, but Donghyuck snatched his hand back and pressed the folders against his chest. Mark looked at the latter in confusion, scrunching his eyebrows together just to emphasise that fact, "What is it?"

"Address me properly." Donghyuck demanded, his tone cold and emotionless, and Mark assumed he'd have to get used to that. Now, as the younger's tone was still and unnerving, Mark missed the latter's melodious and soft voice, which Donghyuck would use whenever possible in the past.

"I-I did?" Mark reasoned, still confused by the younger's actions. 

"No you didn't." 

Mark forced down the urges of annoyance building up inside of him. In previous situations, he would have snapped and forcefully grabbed the folders out of the younger's hold. But their relationship isn't the same anymore and Mark knew all too well that he'd need to work for Donghyuck's forgiveness.

Even if that meant going along with whatever revenge plan Donghyuck had formulated.

"How do you want me to address you, then?" he decided to be straightforward, not wanting to beat around the bush when it came to communicating with the latter anymore.

"Were you not paying attention to me last time, Mark?" Mark winced at the lack of formalities, but forced himself to remain unbothered by it. "I remember specifically telling you to not call me _Donghyuck_."

"Wha-... _oh_."

_Oh._

Mark felt a sudden rush of warmth spread across his face. He wanted nothing more than to smack himself for getting embarrassed right now. Why the fuck was he even getting so embarrassed for?

It's not like there were many people who could call Donghyuck _Hyuck_. Only those who had the privilege to be close enough to the latter and deserved the right to address the boy in such a way. Mark didn't think he would ever be one of those people, and he took the matter very, _very_ seriously. A raging fury never failed to rise in his chest whenever someone who he knew wasn't close to Donghyuck, would address the latter as _Hyuck_. Thoughts along the lines of _'how dare they talk to Donghyuck like that? They don't know a thing about him!'_ It was completely out of line and Mark never did take the time to understand why he always got so mad.

But now, he was presented with the golden opportunity itself. Donghyuck was giving him permission to call him _Hyuck_ , and a part of Mark didn't want to take advantage of such a privilege. He didn't want the younger's name to sound unpretty in his tone. He didn't want to mar the latter's pretty name with any hints of annoyance or hatred that Mark could possibly have in his voice, even if it's unintentional.

Maybe he's being dramatic about it. But for him, this is a big deal.

He and Donghyuck have never gotten along in the past almost two years they've known each other for. Something like this, after all the shouting and arguing and fighting they had done, it was a momentous occasion. An occasion that Mark could only hope and pray would lead them to a having a better relationship.

No matter what terms their relationship stood upon.

All Mark wanted by the end of this was Donghyuck's forgiveness. _He didn't want to be greedy and ask for more when he knew he didn't deserve it._

"God... do you have to overthink everything?" Donghyuck's voice snapped at his attention like it usually does, "You'll never learn, Lee."

"Just-... please can I have my work?" Mark asked, reverting back to having to push down his annoyance.

"Who are you asking exactly?" Donghyuck raised a brow, a smile daring to form on the corners of his lips.

Mark could feel his right eye twitching and his fingers curling awkwardly in mid-air. Lee Donghyuck was going to be the death of him.

"Please can I have my work..." Mark forced his words out, " _Hyuck_?"

A short silence wafted in the air, causing Mark to snap his attention towards the floor, suddenly finding the brown floorboards way more interesting. The silence is soon annulled by the sound of light laughter, and if Mark wasn't so formidably attracted to the pretty sound, he would've been greatly offended.

"Wow!" Donghyuck almost choked out, due to the heavy laughs escaping his throat. He reached up and actually wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, "You sound like someone has a knife pressed against your back or something. Was it really that hard to call me that? Oh my god... you're even more pathetic than I thought."

Donghyuck shoved the folder into Mark's chest, causing the older to fumble around with the items that were roughly handed to him.

"You always did make a big deal about people calling me Hyuck, I guess." Donghyuck shrugged before moving over to the dining table, knowing well that Mark could only trail after him wordlessly, "I admit, though... I'm a little upset."

"W-why?" Mark questioned almost instantly, and Donghyuck found the prospect of Mark caring for his mood to be almost _funny_. 

"Hearing you call me Hyuck is nice and all..." Donghyuck started, before looking up at Mark through hooded eyelashes, "I wanted to hear you call me _baby_. I gave you options for a reason."

"Well! W-well... that's... inappropriate for us, Dongh- _Hyuck_." Mark tried to explain in the least embarrassing way possible.

"How so? I want to be called baby. I want to be treated well and spoiled... can't you do that for me?" Donghyuck questioned, going as far as pouting his lips and batting his eyelashes.

Mark knows that, after confirming the fact that he definitely feels something unique and indescribable towards the younger, he simply can't resist the luring temptations that is Lee Donghyuck's existence. Everything about Donghyuck screams at him to give and take at the same time. To do something that'll please Donghyuck, to hear that pretty laugh of his and to see him smile.

"I'm not deserving enough, Do- _Hyuck_." Mark didn't know whether he could ever grow accustomed to this change.

"Pity yourself all you want, Mark. You can't talk your way out of your messes." Donghyuck crosses his arms and spares a lazy glance at the folder Mark was taking way too long to work through, "If you can't think of anything to say, don't say anything at all. You only need to listen to me and do what I want you to do, right?"

When Donghyuck puts it like that, Mark feels more like a dog mastered by his owner. This embarrassment, the shift in their dynamic; he deserves this humiliation, even though his pride was burning in his chest.

"R-right." he forced himself to nod in agreement.

"Exactly." Donghyuck reaffirmed, "So I'll let you off with Hyuck, because you sound so cute when you call me that. But, later on, you'll have to change it up, ok?"

It's not even that big of a deal, but Mark wants to treat everything related to Donghyuck like glass on the verge of shattering. He wanted to learn how to care for Donghyuck properly, how to treat the younger respectfully, how to prove to himself that he can be a better person for Donghyuck.

He's not a _bad_ person.

Mark didn't want to hear from anyone that he's "changed" for the worse.

He wanted to impress Donghyuck, to make the younger see him in a better, cleaner light. One that showed how respectful and considerate he could truly be towards people he cared about. And, after long-confirming that Donghyuck was a person he deeply cared about, Mark was willing to crush all his burning pride and just let Donghyuck say whatever he wanted to him. If Donghyuck wanted to embarrass him by forcing the guilt down his throat and showing him no mercy, than Mark could always show just how strong he was by enduring this.

He could show Donghyuck just how serious how sincerely sorry he is. How he wants nothing but forgiveness from Donghyuck and maybe, if he's lucky, the chance to start over, to make amends before the new academic year arrives and Mark is forced to face the last year here in this college. How could he even think about exams and university entry requirements and graduation when Donghyuck is right here in front of him, looking pretty and pretty unimpressed by the entirety of Mark's existence?

If Mark wanted to change Donghyuck's perceptions then, maybe, he too should take advantage of his situation and make Donghyuck fall for him.

Maybe, this time, he should be the one trying to win over Donghyuck. Because, really, what's the point in getting jealous over everyone else that tries to make moves on the latter, when he hasn't even thrown in a gracious attempt at doing the same thing himself?

Cautiously, Mark looked up and let his eyes glance over the concentrated expression on Donghyuck's face as the latter scribbled stuff down in his notebook. A part of him didn't think he was allowed to look at Donghyuck like this, but he couldn't help it even if he wanted to.

_Donghyuck truly is irresistible._

"Hyuck." he called out sub-consciously, watching as Donghyuck freezes ever-so subtly, before looking up at him.

"What do you want, Lee?" the younger responded, evidently annoyed.

Mark thinks for a moment, trying to form a question in his head, just to keep the conversation between them flowing, But nothing came to mind. The air between them is awkward and tense, as if submerged in a can of oil, too thick and heavy to swim through.

"Nothing..." he ends up mumbling with a shake of his head, "just wanted to say your name."

Donghyuck's deadpan expression doesn't falter even in the slightest, instead, he looks at Mark with a sudden intensity that causes a whole new wave of sparks to burst in the older's chest.

"Whatever's going on in that narrow-minded brain of yours - stop." Donghyuck commanded, "You won't achieve anything by overthinking."

But overthinking is all he seems to be doing nowadays. There's nothing filling his mind more than his thoughts, and Mark wonders if he should resort to therapeutic relief to lessen the strain in his mind. Maybe he should go back to writing? Just write down his thoughts, write and write until everything he wants to say, everything he wants to scream out into the night, all the frustrations and guilt and regret that have been piling up on his shoulders for the past couple of years - he wants to let them all out somehow.

His previous mechanisms of relief hadn't worked out that well. Drinking, drugs, sex - _nothing_ worked. It only plunged him into a deeper mess than he had expected. Sure, loose strings and cutting ties were something Mark could do with ease, but now that he had someone as unique, someone as _rare_ as Donghyuck in his life; the prospect of consistency with his relationships didn't sound so unappealing anymore.

"You're right." Mark admitted, _you're always right_ , "Let's finish our work." 

Donghyuck refrains a sigh from slipping past his lips as he watched Mark look back down at his work. He wonders if every day's going to end up being like this; just them sitting opposite each other, in a cold and empty house, nothing but awkwardness and tension between them. Before, the silence between them was comfortable enough to work in. They'd tease each other, snipe at each other, make crude and dirty jokes and insult each other in whichever way they could. But now, the silence is immensely suffocating, so much that Donghyuck felt like he was drowning in the stillness between them.

He wants to demand for Mark's attention, to trip the older up and make him annoyed. Right now, Mark is holding his anger back. Every time Donghyuck thought he'd say or do something which challenged Mark's authority and make him snap, the older just lets out a sigh and nods, agreeing to whatever Donghyuck had planned for him.

Seeing Mark so compliant and closed-off, caused Donghyuck more distress than he would've expected. He knows his entire plan involves making Mark miserable by bringing up his mistakes over and over again and submerging Mark into a sea of regret. But it's not as fun or as satisfying if Mark just _takes_ it. 

Mark would never put up with Donghyuck's teasing or his insults, always one to fight back with an equal or even greater amount of hatred and spite. It was a quality of their relationship Donghyuck assumed they would never be rid of.

They would always fight and argue, and such an attribute proves that he and Mark could never be together. 

But, at the same time, he wants something more out of Mark. He wants to discover more of the closed-off, apparently not-so-perfect golden boy that Mark Lee famously was. To gather as much blackmail material as he possibly could just so he could ruin Mark's life.

After these two weeks, he knows Mark will mean nothing to him, but that doesn't mean he'll stop tormenting Mark even after that. All the way up till Mark graduates, if he has to - Donghyuck won't stop until Mark begs him for mercy.

_He'll just have to step up his own game._

"Mark _hyung_ ~" Donghyuck found it amusing that the use of formalities alone was enough to startle the older.

"Y-yeah?" Mark looked up attentively, his eyes wide and curious.

_Not that Donghyuck found the sight cute or anything._

"You're free this weekend, right?" Donghyuck asked, already knowing of the answer Mark would give in return.

"Well... I'm grounded and suspended, right? It's not like I can go out." Mark sighed, wondering if the younger just wanted to rub that fact in his face.

"Oh yeah... I almost forgot." Donghyuck teased, stifling a giggle when Mark visibly tried to hold back an eye roll. "Anyway, should we do something tomorrow then, since it's the weekend?"

" _We_?" Mark really doesn't think he'll ever get used to the fact that Donghyuck is _willingly_ visiting him, at his house, with no one else around but them.

"Obviously. Who else is here?" Donghyuck raised a brow judgingly.

"No one, but... why?" Mark questioned, still oblivious to what plan Donghyuck was formulating in his head.

"We should do something fun." Donghyuck mused, "Your parents won't be home, we'll have the whole house to ourselves..." Donghyuck leans across the table, a dangerous smile playing on his lips, "we can do whatever we want."

If Mark was confused before, he thinks the confusion he feels now is greatly unmatched.

What exactly is Donghyuck planning? What is going on in that beautiful mind of his? Why is Donghyuck suggesting they do something fun when he could actually be enjoying himself with people who treat him better than Mark has ever done?

"I really don't understand you." Mark let out a sigh, catching the way Donghyuck's smile dropped ever-so subtly before picking back up again.

"What do you not understand?"

"Why would you waste a perfectly good weekend with me when you could be spending time with your friends or, I don't know... doing things you like?" Mark queried.

"Well... I like you." Donghyuck tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, and Mark swears all the air in his lungs had been punched out right there and then.

"W-what?!! Wait... what?!?!" he spluttered, his face blazing up like his skin was made out of lava, "B-but you said-.... you said you didn't want to-"

"And?" Donghyuck interrupted him, "I said that by the end of these two weeks, I won't have feelings for you anymore."

Mark gulped when Donghyuck leaned closer, the pen between his fingers dropping onto the surface of the table.

"It's not been two weeks yet, has it?" Donghyuck is enjoying this. The painfully confused look on Mark's face is such a rare sight to see, he wants to take a picture of this moment and store it in his memory forever. Mark is stubbed for words and the finally, Donghyuck likes the feeling of being able to do such a thing. "Let's have a date! We can watch loads of movies and eat snacks! It'll be great!"

Mark wants to ask _why_ again, but he thinks the younger will just snap at him and tell him to stop asking questions.

"I don't know why you have to think about it." Donghyuck started again, "You said you would agree to whatever I wanted."

Mark makes the mistake of looking back at the younger, while the latter was currently pouting those pretty lips of his, even though his eyes were filled with nothing but mockery.

"You can't say no to me, right hyung?"

With yet another deep sigh, Mark nodded, figuring that Donghyuck was truly intended on sticking to every word he said a few days back. It's only been three days since Donghyuck had told him about his plan, albeit with restricted detail. Three days since Mark had been stumped with his own thoughts and feelings, battling some form of internal conflict which caused him to reconsider all his life choices and then regret said all life choices.

"Good." Donghyuck beamed, as if he was genuinely excited about spending time with Mark.

Mark didn't even want to consider that as a possibility, deciding that getting his hopes up over such a heart-warming idea would make him more delirious about his feelings than he already was. He knows that whatever form of attraction he has towards the younger is already confusing and delicate as it is, and he didn't want to tarnish his emotions or let them consume him either.

He had to treat their circumstances carefully this time.

They got through their work surprisingly quickly, the silence allowing them to just focus on their work to avoid any awkward conversations or sneaky glances. By now, they were working through reports and booklets that Donghyuck had brought from school for student council.

"How is everything, by the way..." Mark asked, forcing any hesitation out of his voice this time, "with student council?"

"Great actually." Donghyuck grinned, "I always knew I'd make a better student council president than you. God... if you just gave me the president position that day... I genuinely don't think we'd be in this situation right now."

"So, you're saying you wouldn't like me if you were president?" Mark surmised.

"Maybe? Maybe not... who knows?" Donghyuck shrugged, "I'm just a firm believer in the idea of little things changing for a big, long-term effect in the future. It always got me thinking, though. If things were different and I was student council president, I wonder if I would still end up liking you."

As much as Mark didn't want to think about the plausibility of Donghyuck not liking him in that way anymore, he couldn't help but make some assumptions of his own.

In actual fact, if their roles were reversed, if Donghyuck was president... he thinks the younger wouldn't like him like he did before (and hopefully still does, at least a little bit). It wasn't only the secrecy and the sneaking around and the unwanted feelings. It wasn't only meeting up and sleeping together without any regards to whatever emotions could interfere with their casual relationship. It wasn't only the sheer amount of jealousy and possessiveness Mark felt whenever he was around the younger.

It was the power imbalance as well.

Mark had been commended from all round for being a productive and efficient student council president. His many skills and achivements being one of the list of reasons why he was re-elected as president for the third time in a row. Even his teachers thought the work he was doing for student council, was greatly benefiting the school. After his first year as president, with his vice president at the time - Mark made his presence and authority known to the rest of the student body.

But, when second year came by and Donghyuck was appointed as the new student council vice president, all of a sudden, Mark felt the need to protect his role, to hold onto it tightly with two hands and refuse to let it go.

Between him and Donghyuck, there was _competition_.

For the first time in the entirety of his educational career, Mark felt threatened by a small, sassy, incredibly annoying but also very pretty boy who did nothing but jeopardise his reputation and status.

Donghyuck was smart and quick-witted, he has open-minded ways of dealing with situations. Not to mention, he's friendly and well-liked by everyone.

Mark had never feared for his position more in his entire life. To him, Donghyuck was truly a challenge, _finally_ , a worthy opponent he could test himself against. Someone to work hard to do better than, someone who he constantly wanted to achieve more than, someone who was just as competitive and just as adamant on overtaking him as well. 

Their rivalry as students was mutual, but any other title bestowed on their relationship was seemingly one-sided this entire time.

Donghyuck was in _love_ with him.

Donghyuck kept up with their rivalry and did everything else to make Mark notice him more. All the little gestures he did, sometimes anonymously, just to ease the pressure and tension building up in Mark's mind. All the times they'd just sit quietly in the student council room as their favourite tracks played in the background, a silent but mutual interest they shared, going completely undiscussed and would rarely be brought up in conversation. 

Lee Donghyuck is worth all the grand gestures in the world; to be loved and spoiled and taken care of as he deserves to be.

In reality, Mark thinks that Donghyuck would make a great student council president, even though his own pride and attachment to the position had basically forbidden him from saying such things out loud.

He doesn't _hate_ Donghyuck. Yes, the latter is annoying and stubborn and a brat in every sense, but Mark has long established that such qualities only make him more endearing. The younger is so capable yet so ruthless at the same time.

Does he even know how much his words affect him? How much Mark just wants to hear Donghyuck say that, no matter what, whether he was on the student council or not... he'd still like Mark either way? In no way did Mark deserve to hear such things, but the sentiment is everlasting and he couldn't help but think about the possibility, as unlikely as it was.

And just like that, time flies by swiftly and easily and soon, Donghyuck is getting up to leave. But before he does so, he sends Mark a blinding smile.

"I'll let you pick something to watch tomorrow, so whatever you choose better be good." the younger stated. "I'm not watching your geeky, sci-fi films."

In any other situation, Mark wouldn't been greatly offended, before proceeding to fall into a long-winded justification as to why those "geeky, sci-fi films" (as Donghyuck likes to call them), are actually very interesting and action-packed. How the latter even knew he liked sci-fi films, Mark will never really know. But, he's worried that if he asked, the younger will just bring up another one of his past mistakes to guilt-trip him. Maybe something along the lines of, "I liked listening to you talk about your hobbies and preferences, even though you'd never pay attention to my own." Because, as much as Mark could say that he and Donghyuck are more alike than they are different, as much as he wanted to say that their interests and preferences somehow align - really, he doesn't know that much about the younger as he had thought he did.

All those times he'd spit out excuses as to why he always got angry or jealous whenever someone tried to hit on Donghyuck, all those times when people would make it seem like they're perfect for the latter and that they deserve him; Mark would always shoot down such mindless fantasises and prominently state that he and Donghyuck were more suited for each other, all while saying he wasn't interested in dating.

(Unknowingly, Mark realised he ended up guilt-tripping himself without the younger even having to bring anything up.)

He watches as Donghyuck silently leaves after packing his stuff up, probably recognising the way Mark was too lost in his thoughts to even notice any teasing smiles and blown kisses Donghyuck would send him just to catch him off guard.

There's a sudden rush of anxiety and heartache squeezing at his insides and Mark doesn't know why he wants to pull the younger back and ask him to stay for a little longer. He has no right to ask for such things, but it's incredibly lonely in this big house, especially when you're being punished for the things you've done and you're being left alone to reflect on your mistakes. 

Mark thinks that, if he's forced to reflect on his mistakes for any longer, he's certain that he will lose his mind.

With a shaky breath, he pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts, whatever work still on the table left untouched and uncared for. His eyes scan past his friend's names, only stopping at Lucas' name for a moment before scrolling past that as well. He contemplates calling his brother, but if he did that, then he'd have to explain exactly why he feels like his guilt is eating him alive. Why he's feeling so miserable and hopeless all alone and why he couldn't bring himself to admit to his mistakes for so long, only to let it accumulate until he did something rash that ended up getting him suspended.

No, Johnny doesn't know about his suspension. His brother doesn't know that he punched someone because they were talking shit about Donghyuck. His brother doesn't know that he's currently drowning himself in his thoughts, thoughts deeper than the ocean, and how it's so hard to come up for air every time he finds himself drifting. Even his intention to explain his current situation to his older brother hadn't passed by in his mind yet. He was too busy thinking of ways to try and get Donghyuck to forgive him for all the cruelty he had shown the younger. 

Donghyuck's forgiveness, his acceptance and his validation - such qualities seemed to be the only things Mark needed.

It's wrong. It's entirely wrong to think in such a way. It's wrong to watch his front door in sudden longing of who had just left through it. Because Donghyuck deserves better and he has every right to be angry at him or to want to get revenge on him.

_But still._

For today, he just wanted to accept the fact that, only a few minutes after he left, Mark misses Donghyuck already.

Donghyuck knows his plan is full-proof.

He ignores the warnings his friends send him; ignores the alarm bells ringing in his head that tell him to leave this all alone and move on with his life; ignores the hammering of his heart in his chest as he continues with his mischief.

"Which flavour do you want?"

Donghyuck snaps himself out of his thoughts and turns his head to face the person talking to him.

"I don't mind, hyung~" he grinned, linking both hands behind his back and leaning closer towards the older, "Whatever you want."

Mark looked at him sceptically before shrugging, picking out a few chips packets and bags of sweets, all while unknowingly picking the ones Donghyuck particularly liked.

Did Mark know the flavours he liked? How would he know? Mark has never cared about his tastes before. 

Deciding that such thoughts were pointless, Donghyuck continued to trail after Mark around the convenience store, the one that held a surprising amount of memories, actually.

"Hyung, do you remember the time we bumped into each other here?" Donghyuck called out suddenly, causing the older to look up from the collection of drinks he was eyeing and revert his attention back to Donghyuck.

"Oh... ummm... the day of the school board meeting, right?" Mark presumed.

"Yup!" Donghyuck nodded eagerly, "It was such a coincidence running into you that night, right?!" 

"Yeah, it was." Mark agreed, trying to focus on picking out drinks from the variety of brightly coloured bottles. He was going to ask the younger which one he wanted, but the latter started talking.

"I literally only wanted a bag of chips, but then I saw you there and I couldn't leave that quickly. So I ended up getting ramen and eating with you." Donghyuck looked up somewhere into the distance as he visibly recalled the events, "And we had a pretty normal conversation as well! Even if it was just you getting pissed at me for leaving the work you left till last minute."

"So you admit it now?" Mark shot him an unimpressed look, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips when Donghyuck huffed and crossed his arms.

"Whatever. I wasn't lying when I said I was busy that day." Donghyuck didn't need to justify himself, especially not now, but his stubbornness never allowed him to be at fault for even a second. "I still got everything done."

"Yeah, I know." Mark nodded as he picked out a few drinks, "And I wasn't lying when I said that I rely on you. Who else could keep the student council going when I'm not there?"

Donghyuck puffed his lips out into a subtle pout as he watched Mark trail over into the next aisle. What he's recalling is only one of the many dismal memories they shared. The entire time they sat down and ate together, there wasn't a single moment where they weren't sniping at each other, insulting each other and throwing taunts back and forth. It was just Mark belittling his efforts and telling him he wasn't enough to attend a prestigious and intellectual event like the school board meeting. When Mark says he relies on Donghyuck, it's one out of many blows to the gut.

How can Mark lie so easily to his face like that?

"I know you don't actually rely on me." Donghyuck mumbled as he followed after the older, "You've never relied on me. All I've done is been a nuisance for you, right?"

"That's not true." Mark stops in his tracks and turns to face the latter, the glowing lights of the convenience store and the smell of instant noodles wafting in the air.

"Why do you like lying to me so much?" Donghyuck glared at him, stuffing his hands into his pockets, disbelieving of the way they were having yet another confrontation, but this time, in a convenience store.

Mark takes a few steps closer, uncaring of how they got into this predicament in the first place. One moment, he was calmly resting in his bed after struggling to change his bandages. The next, Donghyuck was dragging him out that very evening and taking him to the nearby convenience store, stating that they needed to stock up on snacks for their so-called "date", as Donghyuck referred to it as.

"I know I never made it seem like it," Mark started off lowly, his voice quiet as he tried to meet the younger's eyes, "but I really did rely on you a lot, Hyuck."

Donghyuck could feel his cheeks blaze up with warmth at how softly Mark was saying his name. The way Mark called him was still foreign to his ears, and Donghyuck couldn't help but begin to regret allowing Mark to call him Hyuck in the first place, especially after coming to terms with the fact that he really, really liked the way his name rolled of Mark's tongue.

"I took you for granted a lot of the time, and I realise that now." Mark sighed, "So, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were anything less because, really, you've always been better than me."

It's a lie if anything and Donghyuck knows it. How could he ever surpass someone as brilliant and intelligent as Mark Lee? He knows the older's just throwing compliments at him when he's done nothing to earn them, but the softness in Mark's tone, the sincerity pouring out with his words; Donghyuck wanted nothing but to let himself fall for Mark's tricks all over again. If he does that, then Mark has the upper hand, and all of Donghyuck's plans will be ruined. He wants to maintain the higher ground in every situation, to have Mark look at him meekly, as if begging for him to stop bringing up their past. 

But Mark is just taking everything in and then apologising afterwards.

Like he actually _cares_.

Mark talks as if he cares about Donghyuck. He looks like he'd take a hundred bullets just to keep Donghyuck safe. He apologises like he's the cause of all world problems and he doesn't have the power to fix them.

_Fuck... why does Mark have to be so sincere when he talks? It makes things ten times harder!_

Donghyuck knows his face is warming up far too much for it not to be considered embarrassing. If Mark picks up on it, he'll think he's managed to leave the younger defenceless again, and Donghyuck doesn't want that to happen anymore.

It's spontaneous, he couldn't stop himself, the desire to be more than Mark infiltrating all his senses. The dire need to throw Mark off guard as much as he could, to break through all the walls Mark has surrounded himself with.

With a clear mind, he places a hand on Mark's jaw, barely scraping the bandage patch, leans up on his tip-toes and presses his lips against Mark's cheek, meeting the soft skin for a split second before he pulls back. Despite the shortness of the contact, Donghyuck could feel his lips tingle even afterwards.

Mark visibly freezes in front of him, his eyes wide and his cheeks gradually darkening and soon, before Donghyuck could even count to three, Mark is rendered a spluttering mess. His hand flies up to his cheek and his fingers graze over the spot Donghyuck's lips were just pressed against. The sensation of the brief contact was enough to send sparks shooting down his spine.

Mark knows he's spent countless hours of his day thinking about Donghyuck's lips and how they would feel. He could only ever admire them from afar and maybe even daydream about being able to kiss them, or feel them against his own skin. Up until now, he's only been taking and taking from the younger. But here Donghyuck is, _giving_ him a kiss and then proceeding to walk ahead of him like what he just did didn't cause Mark's brain to malfunction and his heart to stutter in his chest, disrupting its pace entirely.

Before the latter could wonder off too far away from him, Mark shakes off his thoughts and chases after Donghyuck, falling by his side once more and trying desperately to avoid eye contact, which ended up not being too hard to do so, since Donghyuck was also pretty adamant to not look at him as well.

They both end up going to the cash register with unmissably flushed cheeks and Mark makes sure to pay for everything.

"Are you cold?" Mark asked once they got outside, deciding to break the silence between them. Yet again, as if it was like deja vu, Donghyuck had come in only a hoodie and a pair of shorts. At this point, Mark wondered if the latter even owned a coat for himself. And if he did, he must be allergic to it.

"It's fine." Donghyuck didn't answer the question properly and usually, that would piss Mark off. 

Instead, Mark shrugged off his own coat and didn't bother handing it to the younger. He wraps it around the latter's shoulders and fixes it at the front, noting how Donghyuck kept his gaze fixated to the ground.

"Somehow, you ended up doing this last time as well." Donghyuck practically whispered, his voice small and soft, "With your coat... when you... y-you left it-"

"I know." Mark cuts him off, already picking up on what the younger was talking about. With a plastic bag stuffed with snacks and drinks dangling off his arm, Mark shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, plentily warm enough to last him the walk back to his house.

They probably both know back then, Mark left his coat for the younger to take on purpose, but whether they need to words to confirm that or not, neither of them have a clue in the slightest.

In the end, the walk back to Mark's house is quiet, a rather uncomfortable and slightly unusual quiet, but still quiet.

Donghyuck hugs the coat around his body just like he did all those months ago. This time, they're not going their separate ways. They're going to spend time together, in the chilly comforts of Mark's house. The direction their heading in isn't opposing, so much that Donghyuck was practically walking in the outlines of Mark's shoes against the watery pavements.

He was too busy looking down at his feet, worried that if he looks up, Mark might catch sight of his painfully flushed cheeks, which hadn't ceased ever since whatever Donghyuck mustered up the courage to do back in the store. Suddenly, a hand grabs his and pulls him backwards and before Donghyuck could question it, a car zooms past them, probably going a little too fast for the restricted speed limit around this neighbourhood.

"Keep your head up when you walk." Mark instructed softly, his hand still holding Donghyuck's, "I swear you give me a heart attack every time we're near a road."

Donghyuck lets out a ragged breath, a puff of smoke releasing in front of him. Mark's still holding his hand, not his arm, not his wrist... his hand. His hand is so warm, it's big and his fingertips are calloused from his excessive basketball practises, or maybe from the way he holds his pen when he studies for hours. It should scare him how addicted he already is to the warmth, because when Mark starts to pull his hand back, Donghyuck squeezes it tightly, stopping him from moving away.

Mark sends him one of his signature stupid, wide-eyed looks and Donghyuck couldn't resist an eyeroll even if he wanted to.

"What? You don't like it?" Donghyuck forced the words out harshly, trying to make it seem like he wasn't flustered himself only moments ago.

"N-no... it's fine!" Mark quickly denied and Donghyuck thought they'd leave it at that.

But, rather unfairly, Mark intertwines their fingers, holding Donghyuck's hand tightly in his own. If Donghyuck wasn't so determined to not let Mark get the better of him, then he's certain he wouldn't crumbled right there and then.

_This really isn't fair._

He should be the one making Mark flustered and embarrassed. To see how long it will take till Mark snaps, to let the guilt surge up so high that it'll make him sick, all from the way he unapologetically shoves his _'love'_ into Mark's face.

And all these things Mark is doing; lending him his coat, holding his hand and making it seem like he cares about him - Donghyuck knows he'll have to work extra hard to make Mark suffer.

He can't show weakness.

It's all part of his plan after all.

"When I said not a sci-fi movie... that wasn't an open invitation for you to put on a horror film!" Donghyuck mumbled, wrapping his arms around his legs as he tried to tear his eyes away from the screen.

"I didn't know what you wanted to watch." Mark tried to defend himself, but he too wasn't any better when it came to the series of jump-scares that shook them both until they were screaming into the couch cushions.

Donghyuck was ready to fling something at the TV screen as soon as the scene turned dark. He could already feel goosebumps prickling at his skin. His heart hammering in his chest as adrenaline pumped through his veins. Sub-consciously, he scooted closer to the only other person sitting on the couch with him. He pulled down the blanket Mark was hiding behind and quickly squished his face into the older's arm, letting out a muffled shriek when Mark jumped slightly and yelled before covering them both with the blanket.

"Bad idea. This was a bad idea." Donghyuck mumbled, his voice close to breaking. "Turn this shit off now. Neither of us can watch it."

Mark had his eyes squeezed shut as he peeked his arm out from under that blanket and tried to find the remote. Once he did, he quickly pressed a button and soon enough, the tense and eerie music, accompanied with screams and cries from the actors and actresses on the screen, were dulled to a silence.

"Horror is never the answer, Lee." Donghyuck glared at the older, "Why would you think I'd want to watch something like that?!"

"I-I don't know?! I thought you'd find rom-coms boring, and maybe you weren't that into action or something like that!" Mark tried to explain himself, "I-... I searched for ages but I didn't know what you'd like. So I just went with this."

Donghyuck huffed and spared a glance at the screen, where the title 'Apostle', with a black and red colour scheme stared right back at him. A shiver ran down his spine and Donghyuck didn't want to think about the movie now that he just managed to stop watching it.

"I think I'm gonna have nightmares for days now." he shuddered, "Thanks a lot."

"Sorry. I'm sorry... I-"

Donghyuck smacked his palm on Mark's face and pushed the older away, effectively stopping the worthless apologies from slipping. 

"Whatever." he rolled his eyes after retreating his hand. "You were way more scared than I was. At least I beat you in that."

"Not everything has to be a competition between us, Hyuck." Mark frowned.

"Hasn't it always been competition though?" Donghyuck questioned, not expecting an answer in return. "If things didn't change between us, we'd constantly be competing, right?"

Mark doesn't want to answer, but he can't leave the younger hanging either, so he nods in agreement. It was true anyway. Mark had never wanted change, even after he recognised that something between them was, in fact, changing. The usual friendly, borderline-dangerous rivalry they had was someone that helped to keep them working. They'd work twice as hard just to be better than the other, and their entire relationship was built on the fact that, no matter what their backgrounds were, no matter what kind of lives they've led or what they wanted to lead - things between them won't ever really end until one of them comes out victorious.

Mark liked that.

He liked their dynamic, their rivalry. So much that he never wanted it to change.

But when it did, when feelings and emotions got involved and he ended up taking things the wrong way, he realised that his actions didn't only mess up their rivalry, it messed up their relationship as well. Whatever bond, connection or whatever they had between them, it all shattered like ice the moment Mark slipped up and said the wrong things. And soon, Donghyuck drifted further away from him, completely out of his reach. 

The gap between them just wouldn't close and Mark didn't understand what he could possibly do to fix things.

There's a fine line between love and hate.

If Mark thought about it, he could describe how he feels in the form of a river. He's standing on one side of a long stream of water, a side he could label as 'hate'. On the other side of the river is the side he would label as 'love'. If he runs and jumps, there's a chance he can make it onto the other side. If he doesn't, if there's a weight pulling him down, he'll simply fall into the water.

If he puts that analogy into practise right now. Mark would say that he's falling into the river.

Actually, it feels like he's drowning already.

He's so close to the other side, Donghyuck is so, so close to him, their knees are brushing, their under the same blanket and if Mark could muster up enough courage, he could life his hand and stroke the younger's cheek. He could lean in and press his lips on Donghyuck's skin, wherever he touches first, it doesn't matter. But he's tripping over every rock and stumbling over his feet. He just can't think up the right words. The right words to explain exactly how he feels. He keeps messing up and slipping into the river of his feelings that he hasn't had the courage to face yet.

"Mark... move up... it's hot under here." Donghyuck mumbled, trying to shuffle away from the older on the couch. As he did so, his black, oversized shirt dropped down his shoulder, unveiling a sea of gold that pooled beneath the thin piece of fabric. Mark hadn't even noticed the younger had taken his hoodie off, too distracted by the warmth coating them, as well as the adrenaline pumping through his veins since they were both probably high off sugary sweets and salty snacks and whatever fear that consumed them from the movie they tried hard to pay attention to.

For Mark, he thinks there's too much happening at once. The sudden heat around them, the slightly unpleasant waft of potato chips and strawberry laces adding to the warmth in a rather revolting mix. But Mark couldn't bring himself to care all that much. Not when Donghyuck was only inches away from him, the bearer of his feelings and the keeper of his thoughts.

He's realised this before, but now that he has the reassurance and ability to be more accepting of his feelings, Mark thinks Donghyuck looks pretty like this. His cheeks flushed from the heat, speckles of crumbs at the corners of his lips, which were glazed with what Mark knew to be cherry-flavoured cola. Donghyuck's hair was falling in messy curls over his head, messier than he usually has them, and Mark absolutely adores the sight in front of him. The latter, with his shirt falling off his shoulder, exposing his pretty neck which Mark couldn't help but greedily let his eyes wander around, following the lines where his collarbone protruded before stopping at the edge of his shirt, which Mark had to admit, was providing to be more of a restraint; like that very piece of fabric was testing his patience, telling him to set his limits and not think about how much _deeper_ he could go.

If he's already falling into the river, shouldn't he let himself keep falling deeper and deeper until the light above the surface starts to darken?

Mark's _eyes_ start to _darken_.

He's too focused on the bare skin exposed for him to relish the sight as much as he could. 

"I'm up here." Donghyuck barely whispers, using a lone finger to tilt Mark's chin up and forcefully make their eyes connect. 

Donghyuck must know exactly what he's doing.

He must know exactly what kind of affect he has on Mark. He must know that, albeit reluctant and still flowing with guilt, Mark wants to devour him.

Whatever plans they made beforehand, whatever Donghyuck decided to call this particular occasion, Mark knows they've completely forgotten about it. 

Donghyuck is looking at him with hooded eyes, the same ones that could easily pierce through his skin like a needle and inject all his venom into Mark's blood. This pink venom, poisoned with love and affection that they might both want. Mark thinks he just might want to see how much affection Donghyuck could give him, and just how much he could give in return. 

Cautiously, he brings up his hand, one that he's used to call Donghyuck over to him so many times before. This time, however, it feels different. He wants to let his fingers dance around on the younger's neck, to caress the soft, golden skin and make Donghyuck squirm. _The heat is really getting to his head_. With everything he wanted to do, with all his helpless advances to keep Donghyuck with him, to hold onto the latter's affections and let his emotions bloom, Mark feels as if he's at Donghyuck's mercy. If he touches without permission, his hand will be slapped away and Donghyuck will once again drift further.

"Hyuck." he started, the words already fumbling out of his mouth before he had the chance to stop himself. The blanket over their heads is already falling and, no matter how much Mark wants to reach up and fix the blanket in place over their heads, he knows that, as soon as the blanket falls and they're met with a rush of coolness, they'll have stepped back into reality where he could cover up his feelings and pretend they don't exist.

Donghyuck only hums in response, trying to make it seem like he wasn't paying attention to whatever Mark wanted from him. Honestly, it was getting a little hard to breathe under this blanket, and why they haven't moved yet is still a mystery to him.

"Can I-... umm... can I t-touch?" Mark stuttered, his hand freezing in mid-air rather pathetically. 

"Touch what, hyung?" Donghyuck narrowed his eyes at the older's dark silhouette, only barely making out the outline of the other's hand.

"Y-you." Mark clarified, even though Donghyuck didn't need him to. "Can I touch you... here?" 

Soon, Donghyuck could feel a brush of fingers against his neck, and the sensation was enough to make him spasm for a short millisecond. 

Mark must've felt the jolt in his movements since he instantly retracted his hand, pulling it away like one would do when they touch hot metal, as if they've been _burned_.

"S-sorry! I-I've just... I've always been curious about your skin..." Mark stumbles out a half-witted explanation. "I shouldn't have done that so suddenly. Sorry..."

It's only been a few days and Donghyuck's already getting sick of Mark's stupid apologies that the older should know means nothing to him.

_If Mark wants to do something to him, then he should just do it quickly, because after these two weeks, Donghyuck won't let Mark near him._

With an unimpressed eye roll, Donghyuck grabs Mark's hand and places it on his neck before moving to wrap his own hand around Mark's wrist.

"Just do what you want to do quickly." he commanded, "It's getting really hot under here."

"A-are you sure?" Mark enquired, too baffled by Donghyuck's straightforwardness to calm his nerves down. 

Donghyuck only screws his eyes at the older even more, gradually getting more and more pissed at the older's slowness.

"Fine then. If you don't want t-" Donghyuck's words were cut off when the blanket above their heads is flung to the floor and he ends up being pushed backwards until his back hits the couch. He looks up at Mark in surprise, shocked by the swift suddenness of the older's actions. Mark has his hand around Donghyuck's neck, and before Donghyuck could even say anything to question it, the older starts to move his palm all over his collarbone, stroking the skin with a s gentleness Donghyuck really wasn't used to.

"Would you believe me if I told you I've always been fascinated by your skin?" Mark started suddenly, stealing Donghyuck's attention without a beat of hesitation, "I think that's why I was so desperate to get you back to me when we broke things off. Every time I touched you, I felt like I was on fire. It's hot every where I touch. You're so hot, Hyuck. I want to touch you every where, take my time with every inch of you. I-... you kissed my cheek back in the store-"

Donghyuck didn't know why Mark was telling him all of this suddenly. What exactly was he trying to get at? What is Mark thinking? 

Why is he the one being pushed down _again_?

"-I think I've lost count of how many times I've wanted to kiss you. I want to kiss every breadth of your skin. You're so-... you're very pretty, Donghyuck. I-"

"Stop. Stop talking." Donghyuck cuts him off and moves his hand to pull at his own shirt even more until it completely falls off his shoulders and his entire collarbone is left in the open. "You said you wanted to touch me and I allowed you. That didn't mean you could talk to me like this."

Mark, who still wasn't used to Donghyuck's hostility, was _intrigued_. How exactly have they shifted so much? Why does Mark feel the bursting urge to comply to Donghyuck's words and orders instantly without any question?

"Exactly _how_ do you want to touch me, Mark?"

 _'All over. I want to touch you all over, but your clothes won't allow me.'_ Mark wants to tell him, but he settles with what he has. He looks at Donghyuck once more, as if trying to ask for confirmation through his eyes. Donghyuck doesn't give any sort of signal in return, and that alone is a signal enough.

_Donghyuck is waiting to see what he'll do._

And what Mark does is dive down _deeper_ , until he ends up meeting a golden, sandy seabed. The heat between Donghyuck's jaw and his shoulder is immense, and Mark wants to bury himself into the warmth and stay there forever. His lips graze over every curve and every line on Donghyuck's collarbone, going as far as nipping the skin a few times, pressing his lips gently as his free arm moves underneath Donghyuck to wrap around the younger's waist. The confidence in his chest surges enough for Mark to litter small kisses all over the base of Donghyuck's neck, revelling in the soft gasps Donghyuck emits and savouring every drop of sugar he could taste on his tongue. Mark has thought about this very moment for a regrettably long time. He's mixed up concoctions in his mind, trying to simulate Donghyuck's skin on his tongue and formulate a recipe to describe exactly how the latter tastes. His mind had been narrowed to a stroke of honey, mixed with salted caramel and possibly even vanilla, just from the shampoo Donghyuck uses. But, instead, Donghyuck tastes like strawberry laces and a faint tinge of cherry-flavoured coke, a pinch of saltiness poking at the tip of his tongue.

Mark knows he's addicted. He knows he's utterly obsessed. But now, this is too much. 

If Donghyuck continues to feel this warm, if he continues to looks this stunning underneath him, if he continues to smell so good and taste so exquisite - Mark might actually give into his cravings, throw away his guilt and ravage the younger right there and then.

For Donghyuck, he will lose his mind and drown within himself beyond rescue.

Before his thoughts could take over even more then they already had, Mark lets himself focus on the boy beneath him as he kisses this said boy's skin. He kisses along his jaw and down his throat, pressing a few extra kisses on his adam's apple before moving further down until his chin met the fabric of Donghyuck's shirt.

He moves back slightly, just to look over the barely visible marks he left on Donghyuck's skin, the sight before him imprinting in his mind, ready for him to keep thinking back to whenever he feels like it. Donghyuck, all warm and softly panting below him, such a glorious sight will remain in his memory forever.

"So pretty..." he mumbled half-coherently like he was drunk, unknowing of the hurricane in Donghyuck's head.

Donghyuck himself doesn't know why Mark is acting like this, but the hunger in the older's eyes is so raw and unfulfilled, he couldn't help but compare Mark to a person who's travelled great lengths and hadn't been given a single drop of water. Mark looks _thirsty_ , an unsatisfied hunger gleaming in his eyes that makes Donghyuck's entire body hot all over.

How they even got into this position, he will never understand.

But he doesn't have time to think about it, not when Mark leans downwards once again, this time, his eyes fixated on Donghyuck's lips, like a man on a mission.

Donghyuck could feel Mark's breath against his lips, and the sensation isn't in any way unfamiliar. They've been in this position countless of times before, he's gotten angry and upset over this so, so many times before. He's lashed out at Mark and pushed him away every time, all except for the one time their lips touched in the student council room, that brief moment of contact which only ended up intensifying Donghyuck's hatred even more.

He wondered if it would be the same this time round. If Mark kisses him now, to what extent will he push him away? Donghyuck wasn't prepared for another confrontation, one that would inevitably lead to him shouting at Mark and getting a headache in the process. 

His thoughts are cut off when a soft pair of lips brushes against his own, and the slow movement was enough for Donghyuck to bring his hand up and press his palm directly on Mark's mouth, the older still hovering over him, trapping him against the couch.

They're stuck in a compelling staring contest, one that Donghyuck uses to his advantage.

"How does it feel to not get what you want, Mark Lee?" he mocked, daring a smile to form on his lips, "To want something so badly, but you're not allowed to have it?"

He could feel Mark nuzzle his face into his hand, but Donghyuck wasn't going to be swayed by the older's motives. Whatever Mark's thinking, whatever he wants to do to him, he'll stop him every time. 

In every situation, he has the power to say _no_.

"It's frustrating, right? Chasing after something you can't have..." Donghyuck continued, playing his cards carefully, wondering if Mark will lose his patience, push his hands away and smash their lips together. "You never did know how I felt, which is why I will never believe you if you tell me you did."

Mark continues to bore his eyes onto Donghyuck's face, never looking anywhere else.

"Do you understand some of it now? Surely... you can feel my longing for something I could never have." Donghyuck lets out a shaky breath when Mark starts pressing kisses against the palm of his hand. He's taken by surprise when Mark slips his fingers around the younger's wrist and moves his hand away, only to press even more kisses all over his hand, his fingers, his knuckles, even down his arm.

This is affection, isn't it? This tenderness, the way Mark is touching him so gently, so carefully, as if his exterior is made out of glass. Mark has never looked at him like this before, or maybe he has? Donghyuck doesn't know if Mark's been looking at him like this for a long time and he's just never noticed. It's either that or, once again, he's falling back into his own fantasises.

Whatever fantasy this may be, it feels _unreal_. It's uplifting and so unnatural for them. The way Mark looks at him, the way he speaks, the way he touches Donghyuck.

It's _burning_. Something inside Donghyuck's chest is burning so intensely that he's sure it'll leave a scar.

In this moment, Donghyuck feels like he's losing grip of reality, that he's just drowning himself in illusions once again and it is none other than Mark Lee who will be the cause of his downfall, his ruthless descent.

"I understand." Mark breaks him out of his reverie of thoughts, his lips still against Donghyuck's wrist, "I'm getting too greedy, aren't I? Just tell me when you don't want to and I'll stop. Whatever you don't like me doing or saying... please stop me."

Maybe that's where Donghyuck went wrong all those previous times. He never actually stopped Mark properly. Until recently, he never made it clear enough that he didn't want to be on the receiving end of Mark's physical attention, only to be played with and left in the dirt every time Mark just got up and left. All those times he watched from Mark's bed as the older disappeared into his bathroom and completely forgot about his existence for the night, knowing Donghyuck would silently see himself out.

He isn't receiving that same treatment right now and it makes Donghyuck think.

_What if Mark's falling for him?_

Maybe last year, he would've laughed at such a presumption and wrote it off as another one of his mindless delusions.

But _now_ , now when Mark is kissing him gently and telling him to be more vocal about his preferences and his levels of comfort, Donghyuck couldn't help but wonder whether Mark's feelings have changed about him. That, maybe, somewhere deep down, Mark doesn't only feel guilty, he feels something else as well.

If Mark falls for him, then isn't this good? Isn't this a little _too_ perfect? 

If Mark falls for him, then he'll get to see Mark all vulnerable and helpless with his emotions. Too absorbed and infatuated and _hungry_ for Donghyuck that he won't be able to control himself.

And he'll profess his love. 

Mark will tell Donghyuck that he's fallen for him.

And, by then, Donghyuck has already come out the other end unscathed. He'll have forgotten everything about his feelings for Mark.

Soon, Mark will just be another person in his life. Another entity within his world. A being amongst almost eight billion others with no real importance or significance.

Rejecting Mark will be the pinnacle of the near two years he's wasted having these feelings. Humiliating Mark will just be the cherry on top, the final blow... _the perfect curtain call._

"Mark?" he called out softly, skilfully hiding his scheming intentions with a gentle smile.

"Yes, Hyuck?" even the way Mark answers him has Donghyuck reeling.

"You'll do anything for me, right?" Donghyuck started, wriggling his hand out of Mark's hold in favour of ringing his arms around Mark's neck and pulling him closer, "And you'll stop when I ask you to stop... right?"

"I will, Donghyuck." Mark answered instantly, and the lack of hesitation in his voice throws Donghyuck off-guard for a split second, before he reverts back to his senses.

"Hm. Then will you do this one thing for me?" he tilted his head, feigning innocence.

"Anything."

Swiftly, he pulls Mark even, even closer. He wants to command the older, to lead Mark into doing as he says. For once, he doesn't want Mark to make the first moves. He'll happily reject Mark so _he_ can be the one to ask for things. He'll make Mark wait until he's accustomed to his own pace. Donghyuck wants to be the one in _charge_.

And there's something he really wants.

"Kiss me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE Y'ALL JUMP HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT-
> 
>   
> please kindly lower your expectations :D thank you very much :)
> 
> anyway- I FEEL SO EVIL FOR DOING THIS OMG I'M SORRY GUYS HAHAHAHA!
> 
> so yeah... uhhh... what do you guys think? a bit of a switch up i think? i guess? idk :/
> 
> IS THIS EVEN OK?!?!? FHWANJKASDLAWSH idk :D
> 
> i'm just gonna scream about wayv for a bit
> 
> *clears throat*
> 
> WEEEEIIII SHEEEENNNN VVVVVVVVVV
> 
> WAAAAAAAYYYYYYVVVVVVVV ISSSSS COOOOMMMIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGG 
> 
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> ok :)
> 
> so yeah. that's all i have for now :) idk when i'm gonna update next - but i'm going back to school next monday so i have a feeling i'm going to be A LOT more busier. again, i'll try my best with updates, so i hope this is ok for now. i've actually finished chapter 41 as well and it ended up being 10k words *cries* so i'll try to get that out when i can :D  
> thank you all for being so patient and so kind to me ;-; i'm so grateful i don't know how to express it :(
> 
> for now, this time i'm ACTUALLY going to go reply to comments :) i've also got... other things i'm doing that i'm hoping will be quick works so it doesn't feel like i'm drowning with updating this and balancing school work as well ;-;
> 
> OK THAT'S ALL FOR NOW!! hope this chapter was ok :)
> 
> a massive thank you to everyone who's been reading up until now and leaving kudos and comments! i don't know what i did to deserve it - but i sincerely appreciate the love >.<
> 
> if i don't update before wayv comeback - THEN PLEASE GO STREAM THANKS :D and prepare for me shouting in the notes afterwards when i update :)
> 
> anyWAY! that's all for now!! thank you for reading!!
> 
> see you next update! 
> 
> ~Risa <3
> 
> (my twt is @xneojunx if anyone wants updates on when i'll post :))

**Author's Note:**

> Welp.  
> Hope you guys liked it! I've actually written near twenty five chapters for this book that I have stored in my drafts and I didn't know whether this story was good enough to publish or anything :')
> 
> I also wanna publish this on Wattpad... but I'll let it flow on here for a bit before I do that.


End file.
